Monthly Archives: March 2023

Enough Is Enough (or I Don’t Know What To Write)

I have written about school shootings and other mass shootings a few times here. I don’t like to write about it because I don’t know what to say that hasn’t been said. And I have been lucky because I haven’t been personally affected by a shooting or have had any friends or family in one. There have been close calls, such as a friend who was supposed to be at the Las Vegas music festival but had to stay home because they were sick. But at this point, being in my situation is a rarity.

And every time there is a shooting, we seem to repeat the same pattern. So many people say they want common sense gun reform such as making sure that people who buy guns are mentally stable and of age (similar to what is required to drive a car) or banning assault rifles. And banning assault rifles isn’t something new. This was the policy until it expired. And after it expired, the number of mass shootings increased so much. I will admit I didn’t quite understand why assault rifles were so much worse than regular guns as I’m not a gun owner. But this interactive article from the Washington Post details how injuries from these guns differ.

And then there are some people and politicians who feel like a mass shooting means we need more guns or believe that any policies on gun ownership are against the second amendment. The second amendment also says that it should be within a well-regulated militia. I think being well-regulated should mean that guns are not a free for all and are regulated. And we’ve seen shootings where there are others at that location with a gun and it’s been proven that a good guy with a gun does not mean they could stop a shooting. Some people who have guns are not trained and they could cause additional deaths or injuries. We’ve seen examples of school shootings where armed security on campus didn’t stop things or when dozens of police officers are just sitting and waiting while a gunman is inside causing damage. I don’t know if they were waiting because they were scared or if they felt there was another reason why they shouldn’t help, but if having dozens of trained professionals with guns doesn’t stop the deaths, I don’t know how even more guns would help. I’ve heard people say we need 4-5 armed security officers at every school to keep kids safe, but who is going to pay for that? Schools don’t have money to buy supplies or have a full staff, so where will these millions or billions come from? The people who say that will say anything other than common sense gun control, even though it appears the majority of the country wants that.

And I understand that not everyone with a gun is a risky person. There are people who keep their guns locked up and not in the reach of anyone who shouldn’t have it. And those people tend to agree about putting in regulations to keep everyone safer. If someone has a mental illness where they seem to want to do harm to others or if they have a violent history such as domestic violence, I don’t feel like they should have free access to guns and most people I know agree with me. And if someone is a gun owner and they don’t properly store those guns and minors get access to them, I think those parents should have some sort of penalty for that. To me, these seem so basic.

I don’t know if I will ever understand the people who feel like gun deaths mean that we need more guns. Or those who say it’s a mental health issue and not a gun issue but they vote for politicians who want to restrict mental health access. I also don’t agree that it’s just a mental health issue. Mental health is not exclusive to this country, but no other country has shootings as frequently as we do. This is an issue with multiple reasons, and if we refuse to fix just one of them then the issue will continue. If we only help with mental health but still give free access to guns for all, shootings will still happen. And if the regulations are only limited to certain states, this will not help either. People use mass shootings in states with regulations as an example of why those regulations don’t work. But when you look into the weapons used in those incidents, often they were acquired legally in another state and they brought them in.

I feel like I am writing what everyone is saying and not adding anything new to the conversation. But I also don’t want to be a silent bystander when this has become so overwhelming. Sending kids to school shouldn’t be considered risky behavior. Kids shouldn’t have to do active shooter drills just like we do earthquake or fire drills. I’ve heard from friends about how things like light-up shoes are too risky for their kids to wear to school because if they are hiding from a shooter they might be discovered. I do have hope that maybe there will be a change in the future as the generations that grew up with these fears start to vote and run for political office. But it also shouldn’t be up to them to change things when we have the ability to change them now.

The End Of A Pandemic Social Group (or No More Regular Movie Nights)

Just over 3 years ago, at the start of the pandemic, I posted something in a dating Facebook group that I’m in about ideas for virtual dates. One of those ideas was virtual movie nights through a service called Netflix Party (which has since been renamed Teleparty). Someone in the group suggested that we organize movie nights within the Facebook group, and Movie Club was born out of that. And about 3 years ago, we had our first movie night together.

Movie Club started as just a part of that Facebook group and eventually, we became our own group. We also started with just one movie a week, then we went up to 2 movies a week, and then we switched to movies on weekends and tv shows on Wednesdays. We’ve watched hundreds of movies virtually together and we are about to finish our 4th tv series. We’ve watched one-off movies and we’ve gone through movie series (like watching all the MCU and Star Wars movies).

I know I’ve written this before, but I feel like Movie Club really helped me survive the pandemic. When I was experiencing the most severe isolation, I knew every week I’d have somewhat regular interaction with others. Our chats in Movie Club were different from texting because we were all experiencing the same thing at the same time. And it helped me not feel like I was on my own little planet. When I was not working, having these on my calendar gave me something to look forward to and helped me have things to do other than just sit and be alone.

And for a while, we had a lot of people joining in every week. We could have 8 or 9 people in a movie or tv show and the chat was so lively and fun! And while I didn’t know any of the other people in Movie Club in real life, we all got to know about each other’s lives and would always be checking in with each other. There are people from that group that I do honestly consider friends now and I know we wouldn’t have come together without these movie nights.

But recently, Movie Club hasn’t been as active. We used to do movies every single Friday or Saturday, and for the last few months, I have been doing polls just to see what days people would be interested in watching something. We could go a few weeks without a movie due to everyone’s schedules and also possibly a lack of interest. And with the recent tv series we’ve been watching, most weeks it’s just me and one other person. I’ve still been enjoying watching a show with someone else, but it’s not what it used to be. We are almost done with the current series, so I put out a poll to see what the interest would be in starting a 5th series. And the poll was clear, there wasn’t really any interest in having regular tv or movie nights.

I knew this was coming. When Movie Club started, most of us had nothing to do. We weren’t going out with friends for dinners and many of us were either working from home or not working at all, so our evenings were pretty free. And things have been opening up more and more, so everyone is starting to get busy again. I have always made sure I kept the evenings we watched things free just in case we’d be watching something, but lately I’ve had to work around other things that could have been on those evenings. One of the issues I’ve had with finding an acting class is finding one that works around the Movie Club schedule.

So I posted this week in our Facebook group that once we finished the tv series we were currently watching in a few weeks, we wouldn’t have any more regular Movie Club nights. I am not going to get rid of the group and I said I’d be happy to run a random movie night if there is a movie people want to watch, but I think if those happen they will be only a few times a year.

I remember when I started Movie Club I thought I’d be sad when one day the group would be ending. I knew it wouldn’t be forever, and when it started it really was a big part of my life. So thinking about the end was depressing. But now that I’ve announced that things will be ending, I’m not as sad as I thought I’d be. The reason this group was created was to help us not feel alone when the world seemed to be shut down. I know that not everything is normal and open again, but it’s getting closer and closer to that. And it’s a good thing that we all have been able to resume the social lives that we had before the pandemic. I think that’s a positive thing. And I’m happy for all of us in the group.

I’m sure that I’ll miss the group from time to time or I’ll hope that someone wants to watch a movie, but I also know that I’m working on being more social in real life so I might not miss it as much as I think. I might be busy with other things and not realize that it’s Wednesday and I’m not watching a tv show with the group. But I’m choosing to look at the end of this era as the start of something else that is good and I’m looking forward to seeing what adventures my life will have for me coming up.

Getting What I’ve Asked For (or Maybe I Wasn’t Speaking Up Enough)

I’ve said over and over again that I have learned so much about myself through my dating adventures. Sometimes I have learned good things and sometimes they are really difficult lessons that I have to work through. But I think that most of the time, even the difficult situations lead to positive changes and I feel like every experience that I’ve had in my past has led me to where I am today. It’s not an easy thing to go through, and I feel like anyone who is actively dating would say the same thing, but I also know that I’ve grown quite a bit and that I have been able to be better at a lot of different life skills through what has happened while dating.

One of the big things I’ve learned through dating is making sure that I really do speak up for myself. In the past, I have tried to not be a problem or be someone who doesn’t go along with others. That hasn’t gotten me what I wanted, but for whatever reason, I think I believed that I didn’t deserve what I wanted. It’s not easy to speak up in any situation, but I think with dating there is a little extra fear for me. I don’t want to scare someone off, but it’s taken time for me to understand that if I scare someone off by saying what I want, they aren’t the right person for me.

In a weird way, the pandemic helped me with doing this more because I had to be more selective with who I met. I had to make sure I wasn’t taking unnecessary risks, and if someone asked me to meet them somewhere that didn’t feel safe for me, I had to turn it down for my safety. I got really good at explaining why I wanted to meet someone outside versus in a bar and that was good practice for me since that didn’t feel as scary. But over time, I got better at explaining what I wanted with dating. I explained to the guys I was matching with that I wanted to go on dates with someone that wanted to go and do things, not just sit at home and watch tv. I want to find a partner to enjoy life with, not just someone to be around while I did my normal daily things. And while I was good about saying that’s what I wanted, I wasn’t good about enforcing that idea with the guys I was matching with. Someone might plan a fun first date, and then after that, they start saying they are tired and just want to come over and watch tv. And when I ask for more, nothing happens and that’s the end of me seeing them.

I don’t know if I’m getting better at enforcing what I want or if I’m meeting people who actually respect me more, but I’ve been having more luck recently with actually going on dates. I’ve had some really fun dates planned in the past week or so and it’s exactly what I’ve been hoping for. I have explained to them that I have been having fun going out and exploring LA, so I have expressed that I want this to continue. But it feels like for the first time I’m being heard when I say what I want.

And I’m also being heard in another way that I appreciate. I struggle with the fear that I’m going to be ghosted. I’ve been ghosted enough by guys that I have liked and thought I’d get to see again, and I always fear that someone will change their mind without telling me and they will disappear. I said that to someone that I went out with recently and explained that one way for me to be less anxious is for somewhat regular communication. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, but just checking in via text every day or so can make me feel so much better. I worried by telling this guy that he would think I’m too much to deal with and he wouldn’t want to do this. But I’m pleasantly surprised that he completely understood and we’ve been having regular text conversations between dates. I spoke up about what I needed to not feel anxious and worried about what will happen, and now I don’t have to have a nagging fear in the back of my head that something has ended without me knowing.

I’m sure this sounds so basic to so many people and that I should have done this sooner. And I agree that I wish I had started speaking up sooner and also enforcing what I have asked for. But it’s scary for me to do that and I still always worry that someone will think I’m more trouble than I’m worth. But I’m glad that for now, I’ve been able to do that and I’m seeing some really positive results from my efforts.

Unexpected Results At The Dri-Tri (or I Thought I Knew What Would Happen)

I’ve done the Dri-Tri at Orangetheory almost every time it’s been offered. I have only missed 2 that I could have been a part of (this doesn’t count when the studios were closed). It’s a challenge that I have never regretted doing, even if I question why I’m doing it again as I start. But I do love seeing how well I do because it’s a real test of my progress and I usually push myself hard to prove to myself what I can do.

The Dri-Tri is offered twice a year, and the one that just happened was my 11th one when you count the relay and at-home versions or my 9th when you only count the full in-studio ones. So I think I’m pretty experienced in the challenge and things aren’t really unexpected for me anymore. I went into the one this past weekend having a pretty good idea of what time I wanted to get certain parts done and what I wanted my overall time to be. I hoped my row would be done between 11 and 12 minutes and my overall time would be around 55 minutes. This wouldn’t be anything crazy, but it would be an improvement compared to what I have done before.

I was really worried about how I might do since I feel like I haven’t had a lot of improvements recently in my workouts. But I also knew that even when I’ve been having really horrible days, I’ve been able to complete it and that’s my main overall goal. As we were getting ready to start, I focused on getting in a little more stretching so my body wouldn’t be totally cold as we started.

The row has been a struggle for me in workouts, but I really wanted to see what could happen if I focused more on my endurance for the row than what the time or other stats on the rower said. I picked just the 500-meter split time as I was rowing and tried to keep it as stable as possible throughout the entire thing. I did slow my rowing down quite a bit compared to other 2000-meter rows I’ve done. I paused at the back of the rower and made it a bit more like a strength row. I don’t know what my stroke rate was because I didn’t want to focus on that, but I’m guessing it was a lot slower than what I would want it to be if I focused on that. And when the row was done, I was shocked to see that I finished in 10:19. I really thought it would be just over 11 minutes. I couldn’t believe I was 40 seconds faster than my goal!

The floor section isn’t my favorite but it’s not the worst. It can be tough when you are halfway through it because you repeat what you just did. But I tried to zone out when I could and just get through each of the exercises. And I allowed myself to take breaks when needed since that’s one of the only sections where it’s easy to take a break. And when I was done on the floor, I was about 4 minutes ahead of what I thought the time would be. So I knew I was doing great with time when I got to the bike.

The bike section is always the longest for the Dri-Tri. When I used to use the treadmill, it also was the longest section. But I think it’s a lot more manageable for me on the bike. I knew that the last time I did the Dri-Tri, the bike took me about 28 minutes. I figured that was a good time to strive for and I knew that getting it done that quickly would get me below my overall goal time. I put the resistance level below my current base pace level, so I was able to pedal so much faster than I normally could. The RPMs I was getting were so much higher than what I get in class. I knew I was pushing myself a bit harder than I wanted to, but I was noticing that there was a chance I could get the entire thing done in under 50 minutes and I set that as my new goal. About halfway through the bike, I realized that I couldn’t get to that goal if I continued doing what I was doing, so I started to do sprint intervals. I did a sprint for about 30 seconds and then pedaled the rate I was doing before for about 90 seconds or 2 minutes. I knew toward the end that I probably was going too hard, but I was too stubborn to give up on my new goal and just went for it. And it paid off because I finished my distance on the bike and my overall time was 49:44!

This wasn’t the fastest Dri-Tri I’ve ever done, but it’s at the top. And honestly, I felt more accomplished with this than I remember from past ones. I really thought I knew what I could do and what my results would be, and I was over 5 minutes faster than expected! That’s a huge difference!

Of course, I had to take a victory photo after I was done.

We all got medals for completing it plus there was other swag we could take if we’d like. I got a tote bag (which I can always use) and a really nice tumbler.

And when I got back to Orangetheory on Monday, they had a whiteboard up with the overall results. I knew I wouldn’t have placed in the top 3 for women, but since I was the only person who did it on the bike, I technically placed 1st for bike Dri-Tri.

I’m so proud of what I was able to do and how much I shocked myself. I was very sore after I was done and I know that’s because I might have pushed myself a bit too much. But honestly, it felt worth it to me. And hopefully, when the next Dri-Tri comes up in about 6 months, I’ll be able to do it and I’ll have even more improvements in how I do!

Getting In My Full Workout Week (or Feeling As Ready As I Can)

This past week, I had my regular full workout week without any issues getting there like I did the week before. In a way, I had more than a full week since I also had the Dri-Tri, but in a weird way, I don’t count that as a regular workout and more like a bonus. So I had my 4 regular workouts to help get me ready for the Dri-Tri and I ended the week thinking that I’m pretty ready for it (the recap of how the Dri-Tri went will be coming tomorrow).

On Monday, I was feeling pretty good but I also had some weird anxiety. I don’t know why I was feeling like that, but it made me pause a bit during the workout. This might have been good since I know going into a Dri-Tri, I don’t want to overdo it any day and this helped to keep things a bit easier on me.

For cardio, we had 4 blocks and they all followed the same pattern. We had a base to push pace, a push pace, a push to all-out, and an all-out. In the first block, there was no incline work. But for each block after that, the incline or resistance level went up. I did work with the new resistance levels I’ve been using and I tried to increase them the way we were supposed to. But for the last block, I wasn’t able to do the entire block at the highest incline so I dropped it back a bit and focused more on pedaling faster.

On the rower, we had one long block. We started with a 500-meter row followed by lunges and deadlifts with shoulder presses using the medicine ball. Then we did 2 rounds of a 250-meter row and the same exercises. And the end of the block was supposed to be 3 rounds of a 125-meter row and the same exercises, but I only got through one round of the 125-meter row. I usually don’t love long rows, but I was glad to have the 500-meter row since it allowed me to practice having a steady pace which I knew I would need for the Dri-Tri.

And on the floor, we also had one long block. We had step-ups (which I did as lunges), seated shoulder presses, goblet squats, reverse fly with weights, plank kicks, and double crunches. I really was hoping that I’d be able to work on using heavier weights by this point in the month, but I’m just not there yet. I tried heavier weights for many of the exercises and had to switch to lighter ones. I know that at least trying is better than doing nothing, but I wish I was seeing more results.

On Tuesday, I was dealing with some nausea related to my injectable medication. I don’t know why it was affecting me the way it did when it has been better for several weeks, but I was able to use the things I do whenever I have nausea to work through it. I had a few moments when I was worried I would need to step out of class, but I made it through without having to leave.

For each section of the room, we had 2 blocks that were about the same length. For cardio, we started with 1-minute intervals with push and base paces with a 30-second all-out. Then we had 2 more standalone 30-second all-outs with recoveries between each one. In the second block, it was a similar pattern but we had 30-second intervals and the recovery was longer after each all-out.

On the rower, the first block started with a 3-minute crew row. In a crew row, you were supposed to row synchronized with the people next to you. This isn’t easy to do, but we are given a specific stroke per minute we are supposed to be at, and having that can help get everyone synced up. After the crew row, we had squats and then a quick rest before being timed out with cardio for the last all-outs in the block. In the second block, we did a similar thing but we had a much shorter crew row at the beginning of the block. The second crew row was harder, but I think not everyone was staying at the strokes per minute we were supposed to use so we weren’t all going at the same rate.

And on the floor, the first block was focused more on lower body work. We had goblet deadlifts, lunges, and squats using the straps. I did use a heavier weight for the goblet deadlifts than I normally do, so that was a nice win for me. And in the second block, we did upper body work and we had high rows with weights, single-arm lateral raises, and Y-raises on the straps. I didn’t go heavier with weights for this block, but I didn’t go lighter with the weights which I wanted to do with the lateral raises.

By Wednesday, the nausea was almost gone. I still had a few moments when it kicked in, but it wasn’t as bad as Tuesday so I felt a lot better.

In the first cardio block, we had a 5-minute block to build. We had 90-second intervals with a base to push pace, a push pace, and a push to all-out pace. And we ended that block with a 30-second all-out. And in the second block, we had 30-second intervals with push paces and all-outs with standalone all-outs at the end. I do feel a lot stronger on the bike than I did before and I’m getting pretty used to the resistance levels that I’m using now. I don’t know when I will be increasing them again, but it’s nice to know that I’m feeling like this is normal and even considering pushing myself again.

On the rower, the first block matched cardio with the 5-minute build. I was hoping I wouldn’t need to take any breaks on the rower, but I ended up needing to take 2 really quick ones. I really want to keep working on my endurance on the rower because I know it’s possible to do these rows without stopping. I’m just not there yet but I’m hoping I will be soon. In the second row block, we had rounds of a 200-meter row with tricep extensions with a medicine ball between each row. That block went a lot better for me since those rows were all quick.

And on the floor, we had 1 long block. We had lateral lunges, hammer curls, and shoulder presses first as single movements and then we were supposed to do them combined as a single movement. I couldn’t do the lunges when the exercises were supposed to be combined, so I just did the hammer curls to shoulder presses. We also had core work after getting through each of those exercises.

Thursday was my last workout before the Dri-Tri. I knew that I needed to go a bit easy because I didn’t want to accidentally make myself sore before Saturday. So I just tried to not push myself too much and made sure that I was feeling ready to push myself over the weekend.

We had 3 blocks for cardio. Each block had 2 rounds of a push pace to base pace and ended with a push pace to an all-out. The base paces were always 30 seconds for each block. In the first block, the push paces were 30 seconds. In the second block, the push paces were 45 seconds. And in the last block, the push paces were 1 minute. And the all-outs decreased each block so they went from 1 minute to 30 seconds. This wasn’t anything too crazy and I just tried to make sure that I was not too stressed about how fast I was pedaling.

On the rower, each block had a different rowing focus. The first block was a 250-meter row with lunges between each row. This was more of a power row. The second row was doing stroke drills so we had 20 strokes on the rower and tried to get as far as we could in those strokes. This is more of a strength focus for rowing. And the last block was timed with cardio so it was an endurance row.

And on the floor, we had 2 blocks. The first block had 2 mini-blocks. The first mini-block had step-downs and squats. I did use weights for my step-downs, which I haven’t done that much but I was feeling ready to try to do that. And the second mini-block had chest presses and push-ups. And the second block was a core blast with leg lifts, hip raises, and crunches. I struggled a bit with the core blast because both leg lifts and hip raises are hard on my hips, but I tried my best with both and took my time so I didn’t get through too many rounds.

I don’t know if I ever really feel ready before a Dri-Tri, but I finished this past week of workouts feeling a lot more ready than I would have last month. I know my endurance isn’t where I want it to be, but I have seen improvements and that’s a big thing for having a successful Dri-Tri. And I knew going into it that I didn’t have to PR or do anything crazy. My goal for Dri-Tris is to just get through it and if I have a new record of some sort, that’s a bonus. And I’ll recap how everything turned out tomorrow!

Rethinking Some Dating Memories (or Trying To Not Let New Information Affect My Past)

With all the craziness that happens with dating, I have tried to stay as positive as possible. It’s not always possible, but it’s something that I make an effort to do. And I’m usually pretty good about letting people go once things end. I’m even getting better at doing that when I’m ghosted. I’m not perfect, but things haven’t been affecting me as much because I’ve realized that if they are the type of person to do that to me, they clearly weren’t the right person. And once something with a guy is over, I don’t usually think too much about them again.

There have been a few people from my past that have come back for whatever reason. Sometimes it’s because they want to see if I want to see them again and sometimes it’s because I find out more information about them that makes me think differently about our time together. I should know by now that these rarely turn into something good. And I have another example of that happening to me recently.

Without going into a crazy amount of details or specifics, I recently found out that someone that I was seeing a few years ago for a few months had another part of his life that I had no clue about. And this other part of his life was happening at the same time we were dating. He wasn’t a horrible person to me, but he was to others and I have read things about him that really shocked me. There’s no reason for me to not believe what I’m hearing now, but it surprised me to learn about this. If I really think hard about everything, I can see how things happened, and I’m grateful that I didn’t have the same experience with this guy.

My memories of him from years ago weren’t negative. Things ended, but they didn’t end for a dramatic or bad reason. But now, knowing what I know about what he was like while we were dating, I can’t help but feel like my memories from before are a bit of a lie. I’ve been thinking about everything he said and did and considering it from a different angle. I don’t need to analyze everything because the end result will still be that we ended and that’s that. But it’s just messing with my brain a bit realizing that my memories aren’t really real.

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened to me. There was someone I was dating a while ago who lied to me about a lot. I found out after he and I ended that he was single when we met but got married and his wife had a baby during the time we were seeing each other on and off. I never knew he was married and if I did I never would have continued to see him. I hate that what I thought was one type of relationship was really something else. I never agreed to be someone’s affair partner, but that’s what I was turned into. That felt like a bit of a betrayal, but I also knew that it was something I would have to work out on my own since I wasn’t going to talk to him about what I found out. It took a little bit of time, but I am past it. I won’t forget what he did or the lies he told, but I don’t feel like I need to figure out anything else at this point. It is what it is and fortunately, I rarely think of him anymore.

I’m working through this new information on my own again. I’ve done it before and I just have to do it again. I have no intention of reaching out to this guy from my past, mainly because I don’t really care what he says or what his excuses are. There’s nothing that he could say that would make me feel better about the situation, he could only make me feel worse. And I don’t know a lot of details at this point and I don’t want to find out any more.

I never want to assume any guy that I go out with will be a bad person or that I will find out later that they are not who I thought they were. If I thought like that, I doubt I would have the motivation to keep dating. And I’m lucky that this isn’t a situation I’ve encountered that often. Most of the time, my dating experiences are positive or neutral. Or if they are bad, I can find the positive in them or find something to laugh about. I don’t know if I’ll be able to reflect back on this guy in my past in a positive or neutral way going forward, but I will get over what I learned and how what I believed wasn’t really true.

Getting Out In The World More (or Enjoying An LA Museum)

I’ve been saying over and over again that I need to get out more because I’m not being as social as I used to be. I still want to be cautious about where I’m going out since I’ve seen more and more friends get sick recently and I want to avoid that. But there are safer options that allow me to go out and do things but not be around a lot of people. I just haven’t been taking advantage of that. I’m trying to be better about making plans, but it’s not as easy for me as it used to be.

One great excuse I’ve had recently for getting out of my house more has been going on dates. I’m not dating as much as I was before the pandemic, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’m being a lot pickier about who I meet and I’m also being more upfront about what I’m looking for and my standards. That may scare some guys off or make them not want to meet me, but I don’t mind that since I don’t want to keep wasting time. Even without as many dates as I used to have, I’m still pretty active on dating apps and making the effort to find those guys that I do want to meet up with. And I’m trying to be more flexible about where we meet since I typically go to the same few locations. But as long as the places they suggest are public and will have others around, I know that it should be somewhat safe. I do still give a friend all the information about where I will be, but I’m glad I’m allowing myself to be a bit more open-minded about where a first date might be.

Earlier this week, I had a first date somewhere I’ve never gone on a date and somewhere that I haven’t been in a very long time. LACMA is one of the bigger museums that is near me and I drive past it a lot. One of my first random drives at the start of the pandemic to just get out of my house was to go over by the museum since it’s pretty and I knew it would be a nice drive. I actually don’t remember the last time I had gone inside, but I feel pretty safe saying it’s been at least 10 years. So when the guy I was going to meet up with suggested it, I thought it sounded like a great idea.

We met after work and the museum was pretty empty because it was a member’s only night (and he is a member). It was nice to not feel crowded with a bunch of people and able to take our time looking at the different galleries. And there was a lot of really interesting art.

One of the first exhibits we went to was all about early computer and digital art. Some of the art was about text and some was computer drawings. It was really interesting to see how digital art started out and how it changed so quickly even when technology was still in its infancy. There were also some videos of early computer animation and the different techniques those artists used to make it work. We went through most of the galleries and a lot of the other sections were more traditional collections with paintings and pottery. I know the other galleries had themes to them, but to me I felt like they blended together a bit and I just was having a nice time walking around and looking at the different pieces.

I think I forgot how nice it can be just walking around a museum. I haven’t done that in a long time, way before the pandemic started. And there are so many museum options around LA that I should check out. Most of them are ones I haven’t been to at all, and I should look into when they have free nights or other specials so I can get a list together and not have to worry if I’m having money stress at that time. I know those free nights can be more crowded, but that might be something I just have to force myself to be ok with.

I should be more proactive about going out and doing things on my own, but I’m glad I had a date that got me out of my usual routine and helped me remember that there are so many things in LA that I should be taking advantage of.

Still Trying To Be More Involved In Meetings (or It Will Be Interesting To See How This Will Work Soon)

Every time I attend the LA Communications Committee meeting for SAG-AFTRA, I wish that I was more involved. I tend to be pretty quiet during meetings for a bunch of different reasons. One is that I just don’t have a ton of ideas for articles, which usually is the bulk of the discussion during the meeting. Also, I know I don’t have a lot of time to research and write articles, so I don’t want to accidentally volunteer myself. But I try when I can and at each meeting I make an effort to speak up if there is something I have to say.

We had our most recent meeting earlier this week, and while I still wasn’t very involved in the meeting, I feel like I spoke up more often than normal. I wasn’t contributing a lot, but I did make sure that I said something when I had something to add or when there was a question among the committee that I had an answer to. It was a busy meeting and we had a lot to discuss outside of article ideas or other things we typically discuss, so I think the change in subject matter helped me have more to say and not feel as fearful about speaking up.

But we are going to have a change in these meetings that might bring my participation back down again. For several years now, all our meetings have been over Zoom. I like this since I have to work at the same time and it’s easy for me to work and stay on Zoom at the same time. Before they were over Zoom, I had to call in and listen via speakerphone, and it was very difficult to hear everything and even harder to contribute to the discussion. Also, since most of the committee members were there in person, there were handouts given that I didn’t always have access to until after the meeting. This was for a different committee than the one I’m in now, but I know that many committees worked the same way.

Our committee had a vote before this most recent meeting about how we want to continue meeting. We have the option for in-person meetings which weren’t available to us. And even though I work a different job now and I might actually be able to go in person, it would still be much easier for me to stay on Zoom. We had 3 options in our vote: only do in-person meetings, only do Zoom meetings, or have hybrid meetings with both in-person and Zoom options. And because of my past experience, I voted for only Zoom meetings so everyone would be on Zoom. I was in the minority for that vote and most people voted for hybrid meetings. And I know that a lot of my fellow committee members will be there in person. So being on Zoom may not be a great way to participate.

I really do hope that it will be different from when I called into meetings in the past. Maybe if there are a few of us on Zoom, there will be efforts made so we can see what’s going on and not feel like just an observer. I also think that since it’s being on Zoom and not on the phone, there will be more ability to participate because of the raised hand function on Zoom. But it will still be different from being there with everyone else.

I know other committees and groups will be doing hybrid meetings before my next committee meeting, so there will be opportunities for the union staff to figure out any technical issues that might come up that prevent people on Zoom from being able to fully be a part of the meeting. And maybe I’m wrong and there will be more people attending via Zoom than in person when we do have the meeting. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

It’s been a struggle for me to be as involved as I wanted to be for the past almost 2 years, and this might add a bit more to that struggle. But I’m still determined to be an active and involved union member and get the most out of the opportunity that I’ve been given.

Starting To Be Tired Of The Rain (or This Doesn’t Feel Like LA)

It feels like it’s been raining forever this year. I know that isn’t necessarily true, but it has been a lot of rain in a short time. Some of this has been a dangerous amount of rain and I’ve been very lucky that where I live hasn’t been in a flood zone. I’ve seen a lot of issues from the rain, but at least it’s not flooding like other locations have had. But even when it’s not dangerous amounts of rain, it’s been raining on and off for quite a while.

I know we need the rain. There’s no question we’ve had a drought for a long time and that this rain is helping to make that not quite as bad. And we should see more positive results from the rain over the summer when the snow melts and we get that water. But even though we need the rain, it’s still frustrating and I’m starting to get tired of this weather.

I have joked for years that the reason I like living in LA is that I want to be able to choose to be in the snow and cold, not be forced into it because I live somewhere that normally gets that weather. And yes, it has snowed randomly in LA this winter, but at least that’s not normal and I didn’t experience it. But even with it just raining, it was a lot of weather that so many people weren’t prepared for.

I really try to stay home when it’s raining. I don’t like to drive too much since so many people aren’t great drivers in the rain. I’m not as good of a driver in the rain either, so it’s not just other people. But because we don’t get rain like this normally, the roads aren’t designed for situations like this. I mainly just drove to my workouts and to the few things I attended, and I always saw flooding on the roads where storm drains couldn’t handle that much water. I would time my errands so I could do them when it wasn’t raining since most of the parking lots aren’t covered and I didn’t want to risk slipping in a puddle or something else.

And I have issues with my hips when it’s raining and those have been continuous for quite some time now. I don’t want to take pain killers every day, so I’ve just been dealing with the pain unless it’s really extreme and preventing me from things that I normally do. But being in pain for weeks at a time isn’t something that I’m used to dealing with since it hasn’t been like that for me for years. And I try to remind myself that this is likely due to the weather and not that there is something worse happening with my body. But it’s still something in the back of my mind. With the pain, I also have been having issues sleeping since I wake up if I move and I’m in pain. And not sleeping well can affect so much in my life and I worked hard on trying to be better about getting enough sleep.

I know that we are supposed to get some more rain this week, but I’m hoping that we are almost at the end of this. I wouldn’t mind it if it was only raining overnight and during the day it was clear or if it was only once or twice a week. But right now, having rain pretty much every day has just felt like a lot and I’m ready to have some more normal LA weather.

An Unplanned Shorter Workout Week (or Making The Most Of Each Workout)

This past week of workouts was not exactly what I expected since I missed a workout when I couldn’t get out of my parking garage. That was frustrating, but there wasn’t much I could do about that and I didn’t have another time I could go to the gym. But it also wasn’t what I expected since my nausea was not affecting me when I thought it would but then also on another day, it was hitting me when I thought I’d be over it. But as always, I tried to do my best each morning that I was there.

On Monday, I was feeling a lot better so I was excited to keep trying to push myself. And this workout ended up being a really good one to test some things out and to feel even more ready for the Dri-Tri coming up.

For cardio, the first 3 blocks were all the same. We had a 3-minute push pace with a 45-second recovery after each one. I was using my new push pace resistance level and that did feel extra challenging. But I’m getting more and more used to it. The last block was a 2 1/2-minute push pace and a 30-second all-out which was a bit harder, but I still managed to use the new resistance levels that I have been using this month.

On the rower, for blocks 1 and 3 we had a 3-minute push row. I did better for distance on the second attempt than the first attempt, but I took fewer breaks the first time so I feel like they were somewhat equal. I’ve been focusing more on my rowing endurance to be ready for Dri-Tri, but I’m still nervous about how I’ll do. And in blocks 2 and 4, we did rounds of 150-meter rows with foot exchanges between each row.

And on the floor, in blocks 1 and 3 we had timed exercises. We did 1 minute of lunges, 1 minute of bicep curls to upper cuts, and 1 minute of squat jumps. And in blocks 2 and 4, we had plank punches and scissor kicks. The timed exercises were really hard, but I modified things when necessary and tried to keep those to a minimum.

Tuesday’s workout was the last Dri-Tri prep class. This one was to prepare us for the cardio section of the Dri-Tri, but that’s probably the section I’m least worried about. But it gave me another challenge to work with on the bike with the higher resistance levels. And I was dealing with nausea when I wasn’t expecting to, but I think it might have been due to my medication because it wasn’t the same type of nausea I had the week before.

For cardio, we had one long block. We started with a 4-minute push pace followed by a 1-minute base pace. The push paces got shorter each time and they all had a 1-minute base pace in between them. I usually don’t use my push pace resistance level on the bike for the Dri-Tri, but I do try to change it up throughout the time since biking for as long as I do can get a bit tiring. I’ll have to see how I feel when I do it, but I might try to keep the resistance levels a little higher than I have in the past since I have been proving to myself over and over again that I’m doing a lot better on the bike than I thought I would.

On the rower, the first block was rounds of a 500-meter row followed by lateral hops. And the second block was rounds of a 300-meter row followed by front and back hops. For both of the exercises on the rower, I had to modify them since I couldn’t do the hops. But I still did one as a lateral move and one as a front and back move. But I did better on the rower than I did on Monday, at least with the 500-meter row.

And on the floor, we had circuit work that had some exercises that changed and some that stayed the same each time. Each time we did the exercises, we always did a reverse crunch, sit-up, and back extension. But between each exercise, we did an exercise that changed each time. We had deadlifts, sumo squats to upright rows, and tricep extensions. I did better with the weighted work than I did with the core work, but I wasn’t able to use heavier weights than I normally do. I think my struggle with the core work was mainly about how I was feeling, so I wasn’t too down about that.

And my last workout of the week was on Thursday. I tried to not let my frustration about Wednesday get to me, but I know I was in a bit of a mood that morning because of what happened the day before.

For cardio, we had 2 blocks. The first block started with a 1-minute push pace followed by a 30-second base pace. We did 3 rounds of this pattern but the push pace got 15 seconds shorter and the base pace got 15 seconds longer each time. And in the second block, we had rounds of a 45-second all-out with increasing recoveries between each one. I think the rounds of the all-outs really helped me get the remaining frustration I had out of my body, which just continues to prove to me how much I need these workouts for my mental health.

On the rower, we started with a 1000-meter row. After the row, we had halos, tricep extensions, and presses with a medicine ball. Then we had 2 rounds doing 500-meter rows. I was working on the second 500-meter row when that block ended. I really focused on the split time on the rower for all these rows since that’s an important part of endurance rows. And I know what I have been able to do before and what I want to be able to do again. All of these long rows continue to give me more confidence about the Dri-Tri even if I know that I still am not exactly back to the strongest I’ve been.

And on the floor, we had one long block. We had skater lunges, pop jacks (which I did as squats), upright rows on the straps, single-arm snatches, woodchoppers, and plank shoulder taps. I tried to use heavier weights for the weighted work, but I had to go back to the weights I normally use when I realized they were too heavy. But at least I checked before I assumed.

Even though this workout week was a shorter one for me and not what I planned for, I really did a good job each day. I still am nervous about the Dri-Tri and I know I will feel that way until it’s done, but I’m feeling more prepared after this past week of workouts since I did a lot of endurance work that really got me ready for what is coming up.