Monthly Archives: September 2022

Following A Bit Of Online Gossip (or The Weirdness Of Having A Parasocial Relationship)

I’ve never really been much of a gossip person. I think I’ve only bought a tabloid a few times when I was hanging out with friends and we wanted some magazines to read. I don’t follow online gossip sites or social media pages. I don’t know if it’s because so many stories are about people working in the same industry as me or what, but I’ve just never understood reading gossip about the lives of celebrities. Of course, I do follow celebrities on various social media sites so I see what people share that they got married or had a kid, but I don’t really seek out that information.

So when I first heard the idea of a parasocial relationship, I didn’t think I could relate to it. I never viewed people I saw online or through social media as friends or more than someone who is presenting their life online. I know that there are people who are big fans of people on YouTube or social media who know so much about them, but that just hasn’t been my experience online. But I realized that I just didn’t see that I had a parasocial relationship with people online until this past week.

I have watched the Try Guys videos pretty much since they started. I used to watch them on Buzzfeed and then continued to watch them when they created their own channel. I also listen to some of the podcasts that their company produces. I haven’t purchased their merchandise or bought tickets to see them live, but I would consider myself a fan of their work. I have enjoyed their videos and I think that they put out really great content.

And when the news about one of the stars of the channel having an affair with one of his employees, I realized that I had been having a parasocial relationship with the group. I think a lot of people had the same realization as I did because so many people who said they never cared about a celebrity break up were really sad about this situation. I think most of the gossip was hard to miss if you were online at all this past week. It seemed like everyone posted about it and it was unavoidable. I didn’t really seek out the information, but I got a lot of it through just being online. And watching some people experience the same emotions as I did was interesting.

I have never met anyone in the Try Guys, but because they all put their lives out there and many of their families have been in their videos, it does feel like you have gotten to know them a bit. People knew that this star had a wife and kids and was very known for always talking about how much he loves his wife. So everyone was immediately feeling sad for his family since we had seen them for a few years in videos. I think people also were feeling sad for the group since they were a group of friends who created this company together and have always seemed to get along in the videos. And when the announcement came that this person would no longer be a part of the channel or company, people were sad about what this could mean for the group.

It felt kind of weird to be having all these feelings about a group that I have never met personally, but I guess it makes sense since I’ve been enjoying their videos for so long. It’s similar to being sad when a character in a tv show is killed off or when the series ends and you are saying goodbye to al the characters. Even though the Try Guys are not actors, they are playing a role in their videos. We don’t know everything about them, just the side that they choose to share. But it does feel like we know them because they the line between their real self and online persona is very blurred.

I hope that the group finds a way to work through this time, whether they find a replacement for the person who was removed or not. I do want to continue to watch their videos and listen to their podcasts and that’s only possible if they can get past this time. And I also remember seeing videos about how hard they worked to build their company, so I guess the parasocial relationship side of me hopes that they do not lose everything that they have worked so hard for. Whatever happens to the group, I know that it won’t affect my life since I’m not directly connected to them. But I can still hope for the best for the people that I have watched online for years.

Still Learning More About Being A Homeowner (or Observing Another HOA Meeting)

I know there is a ton to learn about being a homeowner and I’ve been slowly learning things. I’ve always been pretty handy with little repairs around the place and I used to fix things on my own at my rentals if they were really easy because it was normally simpler for me to do it than to wait for someone to come. But I have had to learn more things now that I don’t have a landlord since I don’t want to pay for someone to do things that I can try to do on my own. For example, I’ve had to learn some basic plumbing things to try to fix a slow drain. I’m also looking at replacing a bathroom faucet since that wasn’t done in the renovation, but that will need to be done by a handyman since that is a bit more involved than what I’ve been figuring out.

But besides the homeowner stuff that I’ve been learning regarding maintenance and repairs, I’m also learning about being in a condo building and having an HOA. I know other people have complained a lot about HOAs and how they micromanage every little thing, but I think I’m pretty lucky with my HOA. I did have to get their approval for the renovation and it wasn’t the quickest process, but it wasn’t too difficult. And I’ve had to get approval to replace my front door lock since that needs to match the existing lock, but I was able to find almost an identical match and got it approved so I can either try to replace it myself or hire someone to do that. We don’t have a lot of amenities here, but the HOA does a good job of maintaining common spaces like the courtyard. And they do the gardening in the little backyard area that I have.

I know there are a lot of things I can learn about how the HOA works, and I have plenty of time to figure things out, but I want to know as much as I can so I can understand how things get done. And the best way for me to do that is to attend the HOA meetings. I’ve only been able to attend a few of them, including the meeting I attended where they discussed my renovation plans so they could be approved. Sometimes the meetings conflict with other meetings, and I just can’t attend. But just like the different union meetings I try to go to, I make every effort I can to attend the HOA meetings.

So when an emergency meeting was called earlier this week, I made sure to make time in my day to be a part of it. I don’t know if any meetings before the pandemic were done in person, but every meeting since I bought my place has been over Zoom so at least it’s usually easy to attend even if I have other things I need to do at the same time. This meeting was an emergency meeting because the HOA board was looking to hire a new HOA management company after ending the contract with the current management company. There were a few different issues with the current management company, some of which I experienced myself. I had delays with getting my renovation approved because of the management company. I also had delays with other responses I had been waiting for from them. I tried to not be frustrated, but I did want to get faster responses so I could get things done and not keep waiting. And it was actually reassuring to hear that others had the same issues as me so I wasn’t odd for being frustrated with the waiting.

I didn’t really say too much in this meeting since I don’t know anything about HOA management companies. But it was interesting hearing about the different options and what exactly the management company does versus the HOA board. And by the end of the meeting, a new management company was agreed upon and we have all been emailed to set things up with them so we can have a smooth transition. Even though it’s only been a day, I’ve already had a good experience because I asked for approval for something I have been waiting on and it was approved within an hour! So I think this is a good sign of things to come!

I’m sure I’ll continue to learn more and more about home ownership and the HOA as time goes on. I’ve almost been a homeowner for a year now, although I’ve only been living here for just under 6 months. I’ve learned a lot so far, but I can’t wait to see what else I will learn about because I know it will only be things that benefit me going forward.

Doing Another Podcast (or Sharing Some Of The Less Fun Parts About Dating)

I’ve been on a few podcasts to talk about my dating experiences before. I love getting to share stories, especially since I seem to have so many crazy ones! Some of the crazy stories are positive and some aren’t so great, but there is usually some comedy involved in my stories since I try to make the best of a situation as much as I can. I think because things could be so negative with what has happened on dates, I would be overwhelmed if I didn’t see the silly side of what has gone on before. For example, when I was walking from dinner to a movie with a date, he decided to unzip his pants and pee on the street. I was shocked and speechless, but I just decided to walk straight to my car and ignore him. I could talk about how disgusting that was and how horrified I was, but instead, I share about how ridiculous it was that a guy thought that was appropriate behavior.

But despite how I try to turn things into positive situations, there are some situations with dating that really can’t be made into something good or a funny story. I think most people, especially women, have stories that aren’t always easy to share or talk about. I hate that this is the reality for so many people, including myself, but it is. And some people choose to talk about those situations and others don’t. Whatever someone decides to do is the right decision and I would never pressure anyone to share a story that they don’t feel comfortable sharing.

I have shared some of the more negative stories before, both here and on social media. I just don’t like to always focus on them. But sometimes it is important to share so others know that they aren’t alone in what may have happened to them. And I recently had that chance on a podcast where I discussed dating again. I’m not going to share too much about this podcast since it was done anonymously. I wouldn’t have minded putting my name to my story, but it wasn’t done that way and I’m totally ok with that.

I’m lucky that I haven’t had more really bad experiences with dating. Or maybe I’m a bit jaded and don’t always realize some experiences are as bad as they are. Either way, I know that most of the time, dating isn’t too horrible. I might not love being ghosted or having guys tell me one thing and do another, but those are small annoyances compared to some of the bad things that could happen on dates. I do take a lot of measures to be safe, but that doesn’t always protect someone. One of the bad experiences I had was while sitting in a public bar with people around me. The other time was someone who I had met up with multiple times and thought I could start to trust, but I was wrong. I know that in those situations, I didn’t do anything wrong. There is nothing I did to cause things to happen to me. These men chose their own actions and behaviors and they are not a reflection of me and my behaviors. And that’s the main point I wanted to get across when I was interviewed for this podcast.

There are some things that I blame myself for, but I know I’m not really to blame. Maybe I could have tried to leave the situation sooner, but I can’t see the future so I had no way of knowing what was ahead. There are times when I know that trying to leave would make a situation worse, so I have had to be careful about my choices. But I never felt like my choices were to blame for someone else’s behavior. There have been times I have put more blame on myself than others or I start to go over every detail to see what I could have done wrong, but every time I do that it just confirms that I didn’t do anything that would make something my fault.

Hopefully, when people listen to this podcast, they will not feel alone. Too many people have had similar stories, but because not everyone shares about it, people can feel like it might just be something that affects them. But I also hope that people listening will also know that these experiences are not representative of dating as a whole. Most of the time, the guys I go out with are decent people. I might not want another date with them, but that doesn’t mean they are a bad person. Sometimes you just don’t click with someone or you realize you don’t have chemistry or things in common. And that’s totally fine and doesn’t make me think differently of them in any way more than maybe a superficial level.

It’s never easy to share stories that aren’t positive, but I also do feel empowered and a bit more in control when I’m able to share what happened to me because it is my story to tell and I have every right to do so.

Kicking Off Another Season Of Musicals (or A Really Impressive Start To The Season)

As I mentioned before, I got season tickets for the Pantages for the coming season. I’m going with my friend Jodi, which I’m very excited about. She joined me for two shows in the past season, and we talked a bit about getting season tickets for this season. She wasn’t sure about it, but once the tickets were for sale and she and I both looked at our own budgets, we both could make it work so we got the full season! We’ve had to change the dates for a few of our shows, but we are still going to all of the shows in the current season. And I’m so glad we are doing this since seeing the shows have been a real highlight for me each time I have a show. And I didn’t want to go alone so I’m glad Jodi was able to make it work so she could come too.

Our season just got started and we got to see our first show this past weekend. Our shows this season are a mix of shows that I’m either familiar with or familiar with the material they are based on and new shows for me. And this one was a bit of a mix.

Our first show was “Jagged Little Pill” and I knew it was essentially a jukebox musical with the music being songs by Alanis Morissette. I knew many of the songs from that album, but not all of them, so I knew there would be some songs I knew and some that were new to me. But even though I knew the songs, I didn’t know what the story of the show was. For a lot of other jukebox musicals, they are about the singer or songwriter they are about. So it’s a bit of a biography and follows their life or career. But I knew this wasn’t that way even though I didn’t know the plot.

Without giving too much of the story away, the show is about a year in the life of a family that has a mom, dad, son, and daughter. And while each person might look from the outside that they are doing well or succeeding in life, all of them are struggling with different traumas in their lives. The show gets pretty intense at times, but I didn’t feel like it was overwhelming. Sometimes if a show gets to be too much, I can’t exactly focus on it and I miss some of the story. But this one just pushed the limit of being overwhelming and I was fully engaged while watching the entire time. But it was emotional and dealt with a lot of serious things, so it was very different from other musicals that I’ve seen.

I really enjoyed this show. Even though it wasn’t a happy or joyful show, it was beautifully done. The performances were really incredible. Some of the songs are really intense, and the actors really nailed it. And the dancing was amazing too. Some of the dancing was to represent the character’s inner feelings and thoughts and I loved how that was done. And I think the issues they went through in the show are things that so many people have to deal with and I think it was a great way to show how you never know what someone is going through in their life.

For most of the shows that I have seen at the Pantages, I sat in the orchestra in pretty much the same seats each season. But this season we are up in the mezzanine which is a very different viewpoint. It is a bit further from the stage than my past seats, but because we aren’t off to the side like I was in the past, we can see more of the stage which is nice. And I don’t think it feels that much further from the stage since before we were much further to the side.

I’m really looking forward to the rest of the shows this season. I think Jodi and I are going to have so much fun with the shows we are going to get to see and I’m just so happy to be continuing my tradition of seeing musicals on a regular basis!

Pushing Through A Tough Workout Week (or At Least It’s What I’m Used To Dealing With)

I’m very grateful that during this past week of workouts, I was dealing with very little back pain. I still have some back pain, but it’s very infrequent now and it’s not affecting too much of my day-to-day life. Unfortunately, as expected this week, I was dealing with quite a bit of cramps and nausea. But since those are regular monthly occurrences for me, at least I know how to manage them and I think it made this past week of workouts a bit easier for me in an odd way.

For Monday’s workout, things were probably the best for me with only a little back pain and minimal nausea. And for each section of the room, we had 3 blocks.

For cardio, the first and third blocks were the same. We had rounds of a 30-second all-out followed by a 45-second recovery. With short intervals like that, it feels like it goes by quickly so I really did like those blocks. For the second block, we had a 5-minute distance challenge which was much harder for me to do. I feel like the longer I bike sometimes, the faster nausea hits me. I don’t know why that happens, but it’s something I’ve noticed in the past few months.

On the rower, we did the same thing that we did for cardio. The first and last blocks were actually much better for me than I expected and I did really well with the rowing in those blocks. But for the 5-minute challenge row, I struggled a lot. But as always, I took breaks when I needed to and got back to work as quickly as I could.

On the floor, the first and third blocks were timed with one exercise being for 30-seconds and the other exercise being for 45-seconds. In the first block, we had skater lunges and push-ups. And in the third block, we had neutral thrusters and lateral lunges. For the second block, we were on our own for timing and it was all core work. We had double crunches, sit-ups with shoulder presses, and seated torso rotations. This block was the only one where my back caused an issue. I discovered I’m still not able to do sit-ups, so I did crunches instead so I didn’t hurt my back more.

For Tuesday, we had an endurance focus for our workout. For cardio, we started with a 4-minute push pace with a 90-second recovery after. We continued that pattern with decreasing the push pace each round and ended with a 30-second all-out. Just like with Monday, the longer intervals were tougher for me to do, but it was manageable and I felt like I did better than Monday even though I felt worse.

On the rower, we focused on 250-meter rows so they were shorter which was nice. And between the rows, we had squats to alternating knee to elbows. That exercise was a bit more challenging for me, but I took it slow so it almost was like a back stretch for me and that was helpful both for the workout and for making my back feel ok.

And on the floor, we had 2 blocks. The first block had tricep extensions and lunges. And the second block had lateral step-ups, hip hinge swings, and push-ups to planks. I did use the bench at the lower setting for the step-ups and also for my hands with the push-ups. And for the hip hinge swings, I had to go a bit lower with the weight than I would have liked to because of my back.

On Wednesday, my nausea was really kicking in and I was feeling pretty rotten. I was smart the night before and made sure to take my anti-nausea medication before going to bed, which can sometimes help me in the morning.

For cardio, we were timed on our own. We started at the highest incline/resistance level for the shortest distance. After completing it, we had a 1-minute recovery. Each time, the incline/resistance level decreased but the distance increased. The resistance levels were pretty high for me, so I did take quite a bit of time to get through some of the distances. I think that combined with how I was feeling made things very slow for me and I only got through about half of the distances we were supposed to try to do.

On the rower, we started with a 500-meter row. After that row, we took a quick recovery break before doing a 100-meter row. After the 100-meter row, we were supposed to do squats and jumping jacks. I only did the squats since I knew I couldn’t do jumping jacks. We were supposed to repeat the 100-meter row and exercises 5 times before moving to the final row, but I only got through 4 rounds.

And on the floor, we had 2 blocks. The first block was 10 reps for each exercise. We had goblet squats, front raises, lateral raises, and reverse flys. In the second block, we were timed. We had neutral thrusters for 30-seconds each time and plank pop jacks for between 1-minute and 20-seconds. The plank pop jacks were definitely a challenge, but I did my best using the bench for my hands.

Even with how bad I was feeling this past week, I think I’m finally getting used to the new schedule I have set with doing 4 days in a row. On Thursday, I was feeling pretty bad, but I know that was due to nausea and not doing 4 days in a row. And like always, I just tried my best even though this was a very endurance-focused day and that’s extra challenging for me.

For cardio, we had one block and we started with a 3-minute push pace followed by a 90-second base pace. We continued that pattern with the push pace decreasing by 30-seconds and the base pace decreasing by 15-seconds. And we ended our cardio work with a 1-minute all-out.

On the rower, we did the exact same thing as we did for cardio. So that made it a 14-minute row, which is a very long row. I knew that this would be tough on me, but I wanted to see if I could get to at least 2000-meters. That would be a slow row for me since I know I can row 2000-meters faster, but with how I was feeling I thought that would be a good challenge for me. I did try to keep rowing during the base row intervals since that would add distance, but I did still need to take breaks during some of them. But I didn’t unstrap my feet for the entire thing, so that was a small victory. And when the row was done, I got just over 2000-meters, so I was very happy!

And on the floor, we had one long block that was back-to-back work. That meant we were not supposed to stop between exercises and ideally use the same weights for the entire thing. I did use the same weights which meant I was using slightly lighter weights than normal for a few things, but that worked out ok for me. We had regular squats, bicep curls, front squats, uppercuts, deadlifts, low rows, side plank reaches, and single-leg v-ups. I changed the v-ups to crunches, but besides that, I did all the exercises the way we were supposed to do. I didn’t know if I could do the front squats, but because I was using lighter weights than normal, I could do them without making my hips hurt. That was something I wasn’t expecting, and now I know that for that exercise I should probably just go lighter with the weights instead of changing the type of squats that I do.

Considering how I thought this past week would go, I am very happy with what I was able to do. I knew I’d have struggles, but I found ways to work around a few of them. And with this week likely being another week with a lot of pain and nausea, I hope I can continue that trend and push through that time with some new modifications that make the exercises work for me.

Finally Having A Trip Planned (or It’s Been A Long Time Since I’ve Been Away From LA)

I know I’ve written about this before, but I haven’t really gone too far from LA for almost 3 years now. Since November 2019, I have not been further from my home than Santa Barbara. And I do know that doing day trips up there does count as being away from home, but it’s not really the same. It’s a 90-minute drive to get up there and I haven’t been gone for more than a day trip. The last time I was further was when I went to Thanksgiving in Sacramento.

I know that a lot of people didn’t travel anywhere in 2020 due to the pandemic. But since then, so many people have traveled. Some people have gone to places they can drive to but they were there for a weekend. Others have flown out of state or out of the country and have gone on a real vacation. I was due for a vacation before the pandemic. Now I feel like I am very overdue for a trip and getting to explore a new place.

It will probably still be a while before I plan a trip somewhere I haven’t been before. I have ideas of places I’d like to go, but I am still a bit anxious about traveling. I know that if I do get sick, I might not be too sick because I have been vaccinated and gotten the newest booster, but it still makes me nervous. I also don’t love the idea of being on a crowded plane with a lot of other people.

I might not have a big trip planned just yet, but I will be on a plane in about a month and a half. My family is continuing our new tradition of doing Thanksgiving before Thanksgiving because it is less expensive to travel then and it’s usually easier to find places to stay. Last year, we did this in Santa Barbara and I was just up there for the day and drove home after dinner. I originally was going to stay longer, but it is easier just to sleep at my own place when I know I’d be driving home early the next morning. But this year, our early Thanksgiving will be up in Portland so I’ll be flying up there for a weekend in November!

I haven’t been to Portland in a long time. I’ve been up there to visit friends who used to live up there and I’ve been there to be with family. But it’s been a very long time since my last trip up there. We have been trying to do Thanksgiving in Portland a few times, but it just didn’t work out before either because of travel issues or the pandemic. Even though I’ll only be there for about 48 hours, it will be nice to get away from home and see my family. And at least I’ll be hanging out with my family longer than I did last year when I was in Santa Barbara for less than a day.

I am still anxious about getting on a plane, both for my normal reason of not liking to fly and because of being around so many other people in a tiny space. I know that masks aren’t required on planes anymore, but I will be wearing one for sure on my flights. When I was looking at flights, I picked ones that were non-stop, so I only have to be on one plane and I don’t have to worry about making a connection. So that should help make my anxiety a little bit less. But I know I’ll still be very nervous flying and I’m just hoping that it’s not too overwhelming like some panic attacks have been for me in the past.

I still want to do a lot more traveling. It’s something that I have said so many times that I want to prioritize again in my life. I usually don’t have the time or money, but I feel like there are ways I could work around it. Some of the things I want to do aren’t that cheap, but I could find alternative trips that I could take. I’m still working on figuring out the perfect budgeting system, and I know I’m spending less and making more than I did before so I probably could afford a trip soon. Maybe this short weekend away to Portland in November will help kick off getting things together so I can go on a trip. But even if it doesn’t, I’m glad I have a little trip planned so I can have a break from my day-to-day life and have some fun away from where I spend pretty much all my time.

Finding Some New Awesome Art (or Still Celebrating My Liver)

I knew when I moved into my new place, I would need to get some more things to decorate since it’s about 3 times the size of my old place. I felt like my old place had a good amount of art and fun stuff around, but that was because I had so little space to put them up. So ever since I moved into my new place, things have felt a bit sparse. But I also don’t want to just buy things to fill up my new home, so I’m always on the lookout for cool things to get or add to my wish list so I can buy them later.

I know I will want a lot of cool things to decorate when I eventually get the library bed for my office/guest room. There will be a lot of shelves that I want to decorate and I’ve added so much to a wish list already such as books with decorative covers to make them look more like art than books. I never really got into the idea of styling bookshelves until a few years ago, but now I love the idea of finding creative ways to set up bookcases. And one of the things I love seeing on styled bookcases is fun pieces of art that can feel a bit random. You can’t exactly just go shopping for random things, but it feels like you found a treasure when you find something that happens to be perfect.

I was scrolling through TikTok a few weeks ago and came across someone who does embroidery. One of the things I love about TikTok is how you can discover someone you might never have found otherwise. And this person not only does cool embroidery, but she makes different organs out of embroidery. And the video that I saw was her making a liver. Of course, I needed it so I could celebrate how amazing my liver has been and to commemorate the tumors shrinking. I immediately went to her Etsy shop and looked for it, but I couldn’t find it. So I commented on the video and she said it was going to be a part of a release coming up. I made a mental note to look at her shop again when she released new items and just hoped that I would be lucky enough to get it.

And on the release day, I guess I forgot what day it was until very late that night. All of a sudden, I realized that the liver art was going to be for sale that day and there was only one available. I was worried that someone else got it before I had a chance to buy it, but somehow it was still available. So I clicked to buy it and made sure I finished everything before anyone else got a chance to do so. I was so happy when I got the order confirmation because I really wanted this piece as a part of my office. And now I knew I would be getting it.

Because it was coming from overseas, I knew it might take a while to get to me, But it was only about 2 weeks later before there was a package in my mailbox and my new amazing art was here!

I think it looks even better than it did online! Every time I look at it, I smile. It’s really beautifully done and I know it sounds weird to say this but I love the colors. When I saw it online, I knew immediately that it’s a liver, but I think some people might think it’s a mushroom or a tree. But that almost makes it even better. It’s something so random and cool but also so meaningful to me.

Since I don’t know when I’ll be getting the library bed so I can decorate my office, right now my new embroidered liver is leaning against things on my desk. But I think I’ll get a little stand for it so I can have it upright next to a stack of books when I do have that new piece of furniture. I don’t have many things yet to put on those shelves when I do get them, but I am so glad that I have something so perfect already to put on there in the future.

Watching The Dri-Tri (or Cheering On A Friend)

Since I started at Orangetheory, I have done almost every single Dri-Tri. I did miss the first one that happened after I started working out because I had a mammogram that day and I wasn’t sure how I’d feel after. I went to the studio to support the people doing it, and I remember how much I regretted not signing up and doing it myself. I really felt like I was left out and missed doing something that everyone seemed to be so proud to complete. Fortunately, I have been able to have that feeling for almost all the others that have happened since I have done all the others.

I didn’t feel as accomplished after I did the sprint one or after I did the at-home one, so I have always tried to do the full Dri-Tri every other time. Of course, when I did the at-home one, I had no option to go one at the studio since everything was shut down. I just did the best that I could with the circumstances at the time.

I’ve been very proud of myself for doing the Dri-Tri. I always have a moment when I start to wonder why I’m doing it again and think that it’s pretty miserable, but when I’m done I’m so happy that I proved to myself that I could. I never regretted doing one, no matter how horrible I might feel while doing it. Even when I completed one while feeling nauseous or if I didn’t get sleep the night before, I’m always so glad that I pushed myself to do it and proved to myself again what I’m capable of.

But when the Dri-Tri was announced the most recent time, I knew there would be a good chance I would need to miss it. It was announced right after I hurt my back, and I had no idea how long the recovery would take. I was really hoping that I would be feeling ok the week of and then I could sign up. But even though I feel significantly better, I’m still dealing with regular pain in my back and I knew that pushing myself to do the Dri-Tri wouldn’t be a smart choice. I was annoyed I had to make that decision, but I knew that I would really regret it if I tried to do it and had to quit in the middle because I hurt my back again.

There is always an option to go and cheer on people doing the Dri-Tri, and I used to try to stick around after I was done with mine to cheer on the people after me. But since I wasn’t going to do it this time, I wasn’t originally planning on going to cheer anyone on. Plus, almost all the times were while I was working, and I didn’t want to have to take time off work. But then my friend Erin asked me about doing it and how she was thinking of trying it for the first time. I told her that I couldn’t do it, but if it was during a time I wasn’t working, I would go and cheer her on.

She was able to get a spot in the first heat, which was before I had to start work. So I headed over to Orangetheory in my regular clothes (which felt weird to be there in something other than workout clothes) to cheer on Erin and everyone else in the first heat.

I’m so glad I went. I had fun cheering on Erin and supporting her while she completed her first Dri-Tri. And yes, I did feel like I was missing out a bit, but I think the positives outweighed the negatives. That was different from the first time I missed doing the Dri-Tri and was there to cheer people on. I think I knew I had to make this choice and it was better to be there to support than to not be there at all. And it was exciting seeing everyone who was able to get it done in incredibly fast times! I usually don’t get to see that as much when I’m focused on my own challenge.

The next Dri-Tri will be in about 6 months or so. They typically do them twice a year. And I have every intention of doing it then. I hopefully won’t have something wrong at that time that really prevents me from competing. I know I can’t guarantee that, but I’m really being mindful of the aches and pains I have so I don’t have another situation with an extended recovery time again.

Trying To Help A Friend Again (or I Know I Made The Right Decision)

4 years ago, I wrote a post about how I had forced a friend to check into the ER for their own safety. That was a very tough thing to do back then, but I don’t regret doing it. I worried after making them go to the ER that they would stop being friends with me. I know a lot of the mean things they said to me on the phone that night were due to their mental state and they weren’t things they really meant. But I still remember how stressful that night was and how upset I was at the moment. I’m glad that everything turned out ok and my friend has since thanked me for doing what I did. And because it had a positive result and from knowing what my friend said to me after, I did the same thing for a friend this past week.

I was talking to a friend on the phone and I could tell that they had been drinking. They had previously talked about trying to get help because they were realizing they might have a drinking problem, so I was a bit harsh with them on the phone. I might have been too harsh, but I was upset because they said they were going to try to get help and they did the exact opposite thing. But then, they got upset with me and admitted that they were drinking because it was a better destructive behavior than harming themselves.

As soon as they said that, everything around me blurred and I became hyperfocused on the phone call. I knew they wouldn’t say something like that to me without really meaning it. And I couldn’t just ignore what they said. So I was very straightforward and said they needed to get to the hospital now to stay safe. I didn’t give them any options or even an ultimatum. I just said that now they had to go to the ER and that was that. They seemed to hesitate for a second, but I think they recognized that they were not going to be safe at home and they needed to be monitored so they got into their car to head to the hospital. I did realize much later that evening that I should have told them to get into a ride-share and not to drive themselves, but fortunately, nothing happened when they drove. I was on the phone with them the entire time and stayed on the phone until I heard them check in with the nurse.

While I was staying on the phone while we were driving, I could tell something in their attitude had changed. They seemed a lot calmer, but that didn’t change my mind that they needed to be watched. But they were acting a lot more reasonably and not as rash as they did before. So I had some hope that maybe this wouldn’t be as severe of a situation as things were several years ago.

And that feeling was right. They were monitored and checked by doctors, but after a few hours, it was deemed they were able to go home and be safe. And I agree with the assessment. Even as they were getting to the hospital, I started to wonder if I was overreacting and maybe I was thinking of what happened in the past and misjudged this situation. But I also knew that I would rather be overly cautious and ask someone to go to the hospital to be looked at than to find out that they did something irreversible because they were alone and not safe.

I think because of what happened in the past, any time I have that gut feeling that someone isn’t safe being home, I’ll probably react this way. Maybe other people wouldn’t immediately think that their friend needs to go to the hospital, but I know I made the right choice in telling them that. I’m glad that everything ended up ok and my friend is alright, but it was a pretty scary and upsetting night. And I’m glad that again I could be there for a friend who needed help and that they were open to hearing what I said and took the steps to get help for themselves.

Another Week of Workouts With Pain (or Continuing With My New Schedule)

I just tried out a new workout schedule of doing 4 days in a row (and then having 3 days off). I’m still debating if I like this new schedule or if I want to try something like Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday so I can make sure I still see all my favorite coaches. But I decided to keep up the new schedule until I have a better idea if I like it or not, so I did that this past week. But this past week was also the week that I still had back issues along with the side effects from the vaccine, so it was definitely a tough workout week for me.

Monday’s workout was really tough since that was the worst day in the past week for my side effects. I was still dealing with body aches and I knew I was exhausted. I’m glad some of the worst side effects like having a fever were gone, but because I went through those over the weekend I knew my week would be fighting back from getting over those.

Fortunately, the cardio part of the workout went well with me dealing with the fatigue and feeling weak because it was very easy to modify to make it super easy for me. We started with a 3-minute push pace into a 30-second all-out. Then we had 3 minutes to recover and get back to a base pace and we continued with doing a 30-second all-out and 3-minutes to recover. I know that if I was feeling ok, I would have biked at my base pace a lot more in those 3-minutes. But I really went slow and easy and that helped a lot with making this doable.

On the rower, we started with a 3-minute row, and I just did as much rowing as I could each time and then rested when I needed to. I took a lot of breaks because the fatigue was hitting me really hard on the rower. We followed the pattern with cardio with the 3-minutes of recovery and when cardio when in an all-out, we had a crew row where we all tried to row together.

And on the floor, we had one long block with 2 mini-blocks in it. The first mini-block was only done once before we moved on. We had low rows and triceps on the straps and then single-leg deadlifts with no weights. Then we kept doing the second mini-block for the rest of the workout. That block had low rows with weights, tricep extensions with weights, and deadlifts with weights. I did have to use much lighter weights than I’m used to and I also needed to sit down during the floor block to catch my breath because the fatigue was really making me feel weak. But I did my best and I felt really happy I did something to help me feel better after the booster shot.

I was doing a bit better on Tuesday, but the fatigue and feeling weak were still affecting me a lot. So I just tried my best with the workout and accepted it wouldn’t be what I normally could do.

For cardio, we had 2 blocks that were the same. We had 1-minute intervals with a base pace at an incline followed by a base pace without an incline. The incline or resistance level went up by 1% each time. I did try to work on doing better with my resistance levels, but I realized my body wasn’t ready for that. So I was mainly using the levels between my push and all-out, but I did do one of the intervals higher than my all-out level.

On the rower, we started with a 400-meter row. I did much better with this row than I expected. I still needed breaks, but not nearly as many as I would have thought I would have needed. Then we had lateral hops (which I did as lateral steps) and high knees. Next was an 800-meter row, which went much worse than my 400-meter row. Again, I took breaks when I needed them. But this time it felt like I needed a break every 100 meters or so. Because I took so many breaks, I didn’t get that far through the block before the time was done.

And on the floor, we had 2 blocks. The first block had squats, pull-ups on the straps, and push-ups. And the second block had bicep curls and lunges. Both floor blocks were a bit of a struggle for me, but again, I could tell I was doing a bit better than the day before.

Wednesday’s workout was a prep workout for the Dri-Tri. This was mainly to be ready for the cardio portion. I already knew by Wednesday that I wouldn’t be doing the Dri-Tri, but I still liked the prep workout because it was a good workout to help me get back to more of my normal.

For cardio, we had decreasing push paces with 1-minute base paces between each one. We started with a 4-minute push pace and it decreased by 1-minute each round. And we ended with a 1-minute all-out. I know I did better in this workout than I had earlier in the week, but I was still taking more breaks than I would have liked to. But I kept reminding myself that it’s still an improvement!

For the rower, the first block was rounds of 500-meter rows and lateral hops/steps. And the second block was rounds of 300-meter rows with front and back hops/steps. And on the floor, we had lunges, single-arm shoulder presses, deadlifts, and step-ups. I again had to use lighter weights than I would have liked to, but I at least tried with normal weights first before realizing I wasn’t ready for them.

Thursday was definitely my best workout of the week. I was pretty much over all my side effects from the booster and my back was feeling significantly better than it had all week. So I was able to push myself a bit more even if I wasn’t quite fully back to normal.

For cardio, we had 2 blocks. Both blocks started with a 1-minute push pace to an all-out. But in the first block, all the all-outs were 1-minute and the recovery time ranged from 30-seconds to 1-minute. And in the second block, the all-outs were all 30-seconds instead of 1-minute. I did try to go hard with the all-outs at the end of each block since those had the longest recovery time leading into them, but I had to be careful since after the first block I was really feeling weak from pushing myself so much.

On the rower, both blocks were focused on making sure we weren’t rowing too fast. In the first block, we had 300-meter rows and rainbows with the medicine ball between each row. And in the second block, we had 200-meter rows with front presses with the medicine ball. I was able to keep my strokes in the goal range in each block. And I was very happy to see that each time I tried the rows, I got faster so I did have improvement.

And on the floor, we had 2 blocks that were focused on back-to-back work. So the goal was to not take breaks between each exercise. In the first block we had halos with weights, scaption raises, and good mornings. And the second block had uppercuts, tricep kickbacks, and goblet squats. I continued to play with the weights that I used to see if I could get closer to my normal ones, and I was able to do a few reps with my regular weight before I had to go down to a lighter one. Again, it’s an improvement and I’m happy that it’s better than nothing.

This really wasn’t one of my best workout weeks, but it also wasn’t one of my worst. I still got 4 workouts in and I tried my best, which is all I can hope for sometimes. And with this week coming up, it may be a bad week and I’m prepared for it. But I’m really ready for a normal week to finally happen again because I miss that!