Monthly Archives: May 2020

Driving Around For No Reason (or Finding Places That Make Me Happy)

Posted on May 29, 2020 | Comments Off on Driving Around For No Reason (or Finding Places That Make Me Happy)

Before the pandemic hit, I didn’t drive my car a lot. I did drive to my workouts and random things, but I didn’t have a long commute each day or put a lot of miles on my car. I add so little mileage each year on my car (typically around 8,000 miles a year) that my insurance needed proof because they didn’t believe I was driving so few miles. This is probably extra weird since I live in LA, where everything seems to require driving.

But since the pandemic hit, I have been driving even less. I don’t go to my workouts. I don’t meet up with friends or go out to do things. I have driven to Santa Barbara once and have done some random errands, but it’s still a fraction of what I used to do. I still am doing a lot of errands through deliveries (like groceries), so I’m not even going out to do that much. I can’t remember a time that I drove so infrequently since I got a driver’s license.

And with not driving that often, there is a new car-related issue that I have to keep in mind. I need to make sure that I don’t forget to drive every so often because I don’t want the battery to die. I know if it does die, I can call AAA and they can jump the battery, but I want to avoid needing to do that. I’m sure AAA has other issues to worry about that they should focus on, and I want to help limit the exposure the truck drivers have. I don’t necessarily want to test how long I can go without driving, so I’ve been looking online at how often I should drive. Most things say at least every 2-3 weeks. So I have tried to remember to drive at least once every other week. And if I am only driving to do a quick errand, I try to drive a little before the errand just to use my car a bit more.

This week, I was coming up on 2 weeks without driving my car. I didn’t have any errands that I had to drive to or anything that would require me needing to use my car. But I needed to drive to make sure the battery didn’t die. I had debated doing different things, but I couldn’t decide on where to go. Originally, I was thinking about driving to the beach again. But now that the beaches are open, I figured it would be harder to find parking. I realized if I tried to figure out where to go before I left, I probably would not get out that day. And since I wanted to get this task done, I didn’t want to put it off. So I just got in my car and started driving.

I drove the direction I often go to do different things. I had no plan in my head about where to go, but I just drove. I thought about maybe going to a fun neighborhood and looking at houses, but that didn’t seem like fun and I didn’t know how crowded some streets might be if everyone was parked (some streets aren’t really designed for people to be parked there plus driving). I thought maybe going to Hollywood to see how empty it looked by places I love, but that also felt a bit sad so I skipped that. Then I tried to think of places that make me happy and figured out a fun place to drive to.

I don’t have to go to my union’s national/local headquarters that often, but I do go there quite a bit. And the stuff that I’m able to do when I’m in that building does make me happy. I get to be a part of amazing things or watch the union in action. So driving to the union seemed to be the perfect place to go. Plus, it was a good distance for me to drive. Since there wasn’t a lot of traffic, I got there pretty quickly. I found some parking and decided to take a silly selfie to commemorate my random driving adventure.

And after taking the photo, I got back in my car and drove home. It was nice to see something familiar that makes me happy. I was a little sad thinking about all the things we haven’t been able to do because of this pandemic, but I was also reminded of the work we are doing so we can make sure we can get back to work as quickly as possible while still being safe. And knowing that my union is working hard for all of us is inspiring. When we are able to get back to work, I know we will all be grateful for what was done.

And hopefully, soon enough, I will be able to be back inside my union’s building and won’t just have to see if from afar.

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Posted in Acting, Fun Stuff, Tough Stuff

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Weird Feelings About Reopening Things (or I Might Just Keep Staying Home)

Posted on May 28, 2020 | Comments Off on Weird Feelings About Reopening Things (or I Might Just Keep Staying Home)

Things are starting to reopen in LA slowly. First, they opened hiking trails and beaches. You had to be using them for active things (so no lounging on the beach) and they have closed down places where the people were not maintaining proper distance or wearing masks. Now, stores are able to allow customers inside instead of just having curbside pickup. And I know the city is working toward reopening hair salons and other beauty-related things, but to only do services that can be done with the client wearing a mask. The only reason this is happening is that the daily increase in cases has been getting smaller and smaller. And that is a good thing.

But honestly, the idea that the city is starting to reopen is stressing me out a bit. There is still no cure or treatment for COVID-19. Yes, fewer people are getting it and fewer people are dying. But that is likely due to people not being around others. What is going to happen when people are out and about more? I know that they will be limiting how many people can be together inside a building, but even if it’s only 2 people and one is an asymptomatic carrier that means the other person is exposed and can pass it on to others. I know we are doing a lot to try to minimize the risk, but the risk is still there.

I have no need to go out hiking or to the beach. I don’t need to go to stores to buy anything (I’ve just been taking advantage of delivery options but might also do curbside pick up if I need something). I am still planning home for at least a little while. Since we won’t know for about 2 weeks what will happen after reopening, I want to wait it out. Nothing right now is worth me risking my health. And I’m aware that I’m in a very fortunate position, but because I am fortunate I want to stay home to also keep things safer for those who cannot do that. If people start crowding stores just because they can, then the employees there are at a higher risk. If people only go if they really need to, those employees aren’t exposed to as many people and the chance they will get sick is lower. To me, it just seems right to stay home longer for the protection of others.

And when hair salons and other beauty things reopen, I do want to go but I don’t need to go. I’ve been putting things off for a while since the shutdown happened. I’m lucky that I was able to dye my hair at home to cover the grays. And I am due for some appointments, especially those that were supposed to happen during the shutdown, I feel the same way that I do with stores. I don’t want the employees there to be at a higher risk because they have to work and I don’t have to be there. There are so many things that haven’t been determined with beauty-related appointments since they have not been approved to reopen. Maybe the policies will help guide what I want to do more. But for now, I have the same uneasy feeling that I do with the stores opening and I probably will stay at home longer.

There are some things that I do need to go out to do in the near future. I was supposed to go to a dentist’s appointment last month when things were shut down. My dentist was technically open during the shutdown, but they were only seeing emergencies. They recently reopened and reached out to me to reschedule the appointment. I’m not trying to avoid the dentist, but I also don’t want to take the risk just yet until we know how the next few weeks go with appointments there. There is no way to keep a mask on when seeing the dentist, so I feel like there is jut a higher risk. When I do schedule my appointment, I’m going to try for the first appointment of the day since that will probably be when things are the cleanest.

I don’t want to live in fear because of this virus, but there are so many things that are uncertain right now. It doesn’t feel like we fixed anything just yet because there still are people getting sick. And while I understand why things are reopening, just because they are reopening doesn’t mean I have to go there. I do want to get out of my house and do things, but I also want to stay safe and healthy. Right now, I don’t know how to make that happen. But things have changed so rapidly before so maybe they will change rapidly the other direction if things get better. I just will have to wait and see.

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Virtual Memorial Day (or Doing The Best We Can For Now)

Posted on May 27, 2020 | Comments Off on Virtual Memorial Day (or Doing The Best We Can For Now)

Usually for Memorial Day weekend, I spend time with my friends at a BBQ. It’s usually a pretty low-key hangout, but it’s a great opportunity to see my friends and spend some time having fun. Typically, I haven’t seen that group of friends since the Oscar party, so I am excited to see them. The same group gets together and we all get along so well. And we all have the same type of friendship with each other that we can just pick up wherever we left off and it doesn’t matter how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other.

But this year, of course, things are different. I don’t know if I realized that this BBQ wouldn’t be happening until recently. Time is a weird thing during this pandemic and I didn’t realize Memorial Day was almost here. But once I did notice it on the calendar, I started to get a bit sad. When this all started. I doubt anyone thought it would last until Memorial Day. Now, they are hoping for reopening around the 4th of July, but I also know that can be changed and maybe it will last longer than that. But I also know that this is necessary to keep us all as healthy as possible.

I messaged my friend Marie to see if they were going to do anything virtual for Memorial Day, and I think I messaged her just as they were starting to see what they could do. I was so glad that they were going to plan something so I could have a bit of my regular life on Memorial Day. They planned a big group Zoom hangout that was supposed to start at 1 pm. While I am usually one of the first people to their parties, I have never been the very first person. But I was the first guest that arrived at the virtual party.

It was so good to see Marie and Chris! I have missed all of my friends so much, and I haven’t gotten to see many of them virtually since this all started. I was so happy that I was tearing up at seeing familiar faces. And we had a few moments to chat before lots of other people were joining in! People were popping in and out, so there was never a time that I could have gotten a photo with everyone in the virtual party at one time but this shows a lot of people who were there.

There was a good-sized group the entire time I was in the Zoom party. I was able to stay for about 2 or 3 hours before I needed to leave and get some things done around my house. And yes, we did have some issues with people talking over each other since we had so many people there at once, but we also joked that the parties are like that in real life too.

And some people really did have some fun with the idea of a virtual party. Marie and Chris used a video for a virtual background and the video was a 30-minute loop that mainly was just their empty entryway but occasionally had them walking through the frame and opening doors. So it was like they had evil twins appearing from time to time. That made all of us laugh so much. Other people used other still images for virtual backgrounds. And one person made Chris and Marie’s house their background and that made us all smile. Some people even did outfit/costume changes from time to time, which was something special and unique with doing a virtual party. And of course, everyone who had a dog showed them off at some point. That was one of my favorite things.

There were a few moments when I felt sad because I really wanted to be with my friends in real life and not just seeing them on a screen. I was a little frustrated by seeing so many people around the country not keeping a distance from others and wishing that I could do the same. I don’t know if the people doing that don’t worry about this virus or where they live there are no cases. But in LA, there is no way I can believe that being around others would be ok right now. And I know that eventually, I will be with my friends again and the only way to keep us all healthy is to stay apart for now.

But even with the rare moments of sadness, for the most part this was an amazing way to try to spend time with some of the people I love. I would have been more upset if I hadn’t seen them at all. And we were all talking about how amazing it will be when we have our epic in-person reunion (we are all hoping we can do that for Halloween, but it will depend on a lot). Seeing friends virtually isn’t as great as being together in person, but it is so much better than not seeing them at all. And we all know how lucky we are that we were able to do this at all. To go through this pandemic without the internet would have been so much worse. But we can do virtual things like this and stay connected while having to be apart.

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Default ThumbnailA Game Filled Party (or Being Competitive With My Friends) Default ThumbnailPre-Memorial Day BBQ (or Making Drunk Fruit) Default ThumbnailAnother Virtual Friend Hangout (or Trying Not To Miss A Summer Tradition Too Much) Default ThumbnailSo Many Virtual Movie Nights (or Thank Goodness For Technology) Default ThumbnailFinding A Social Life Where I Can (or Virtual Parties and Distance Hangouts) Default ThumbnailHaving A Lot Of Repeat Days (or More Organizing and More Virtual Hangouts)

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Posted in Celebrations, Fun Stuff

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Doing A Lot Of Shopping (or Just Trying To Have Some Variety In My Life)

Posted on May 26, 2020 | Comments Off on Doing A Lot Of Shopping (or Just Trying To Have Some Variety In My Life)

I’ve been doing a lot of shopping and organizing lately. I’m glad that I am finally doing this since there have been so many things that I have been putting off that I needed to do. I want my house to be the most efficient and amazing place for me. And there are things that I set up when I moved into my house that I just never changed. But it’s been a good thing to change them up and get my house to a place that I had been wanting to get it to for a while.

This is so important because my house is so small and I don’t have unlimited space to do what I want. Most things in my house need to be able to be moved if necessary or to be functional for more than one thing. I don’t want to have a ton of furniture that I have to work around all the time. Obviously, there are some things that don’t move, but for the most part I am able to shift things around if I need to.

But besides buying things to organize my house, I’ve been buying things to change up the look of my house too. I haven’t gotten as many of these, but I have been finding new decorative things I want to add. Some of this is because in my organization (especially around my desk), I’ve been taking a lot of things down and either getting rid of them if I don’t need them or moving them into different places. I could keep all my decorative stuff the way they are, nothing is horrible. But I just felt like I needed a change and went for it.

I haven’t gotten the new decorative things since I ordered them online and there are lots of shipping delays, but it has gotten me really excited. I just can’t wait until I am able to put things up and maybe I’ll move even more things around.

I wasn’t thinking too much about why I felt so compelled to redecorate my house. At first, I thought it might be because I have had so many things in my house for 10 years and I was ready for a change. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this might be due to quarantine. I don’t really leave my house for anything right now. I don’t go to the grocery store that often (I usually get it delivered but maybe go to the store once a month). I don’t go out anywhere. I am working on finding some good socially distant social events, but I haven’t planned any yet. I am just inside my house and looking at the same walls all day.

I think my urge to redecorate had a lot to do with that. I was craving a change and changing the decorations inside is something I can do and not have to leave my house. Maybe this will trick my brain into thinking I have gone somewhere different. Maybe it will just take some of the monotonous feelings of being home away. I still think that I will be antsy to get out and back to normal life, but hopefully this takes a little bit of the edge off. And even if it doesn’t, I’m excited for a change in my house. Everything that I have changed up has made things feel a bit more serene and less cluttered. And I have changed other things around my house to fit with those new things which changes it up even more. Even if it doesn’t, everything I bought does make me excited about them so I don’t need them to do more for me than that.

Whenever people can finally be out and social again, my house is going to look like an entirely new place. I’ve joked to people that they won’t recognize it when they come over. But even if nobody noticed or cared, I am still so happy about the changes I’ve been making. And I hope the new things coming soon will just continue to make me feel that way. But I do hope that I have a break of changing things up that require purchasing after this. As great as it’s been for my mental state, I know that I am spending money that I should probably be saving. But I’m not worried about that right now.

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Posted in Fun Stuff, Shopping

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Finally A Good Workout Week (or Continuing To Build My Home Gym)

Posted on May 25, 2020 | Comments Off on Finally A Good Workout Week (or Continuing To Build My Home Gym)

When I wrote my last workout recap, I had dealt with multiple bad workout weeks in a row. I was dealing with different issues and it felt like when I got over one thing I had another to deal with. And some of the things I dealt with were expected (like nausea) and some were random and unexpected (like cutting my finger or getting cellulitis). Having so many bad workout weeks in a row really were taking a toll on my mood. I knew I was in a worse mood than I had been. I was fighting that feeling, but I couldn’t help feel really down on myself.

And when I writing my last recap, I said that this past week would be the week my nausea likely would kick in again and I was frustrated that I was going to have to have yet another bad workout week. But I don’t know if I mixed up what day it was or what else got me confused, but I had the wrong week for when my nausea would most likely start. That’s actually going to be this week, so last week’s workouts actually were much better than expected.

I did have to still deal with a few issues like my finger still healing (so it’s not really too flexible) and the tail end of taking antibiotics and those making me a bit sick. But overall my workout week was a good one and I really did need that. I still was making modifications to things, but there were few modifications needed and I really was able to get into the workouts.

I think some of the motivation to do more was from knowing that there are some studios in other states starting to open up. I know we aren’t ready for that (and I do wonder if the other states might have done it too early), but it gives me hope that gyms and fitness studios in California will be opening up sooner rather than later. I have no clue if it will be this summer or this fall, but I feel like it is coming and that is making me really excited. And adding to the fact that some states have been able to open their studios, they have been starting to say that if things continue the way they have been going that maybe we will start reopening more by the 4th of July! I would love it if that could happen. I know it’s not really soon, but it’s a date to keep in mind that might be when things start turning around. And if that is approximately the right date, then we are past the halfway mark of quarantine (I know I’ve said that before, but every time there is a new date I think of if I’m past halfway).

There is no real substitution for working out in the studios, but I’ve really tried to make my home workouts the best I can be. I have gotten a lot of different equipment for my house. If I had more space and money, I’d probably buy a lot more. There are a lot of things that I wish I had (like a rower, weight bench, and more weights), but I have a pretty good setup for my house. I know that when I get back to the studios that I might not be able to lift as heavy, row as hard, or bike as fast; but I will not be losing all the progress I’ve met. And as I’ve been doing the home workouts, I have found that there are some things I wish I had at my house more than others.

One thing that I wished I had was a BOSU ball. While the home workouts aren’t using them, I use them a lot for modifications and it would be nice to have them for that. Plus, I do like some of the balance work that we do on them and I know that balance work is something that can help my hips. BOSU balls aren’t difficult to buy, but they aren’t cheap and they take up a lot of room. But when I was looking online at them, I saw something called BOSU Pods that looked like mini-BOSU balls. And that’s pretty much exactly what they are.

You can’t do everything on BOSU Pods that you can do on the full-sized ones, but for what I was hoping to do I could get a lot done. The only thing I wouldn’t be able to do would be to use them to help me with incline plank work or as a replacement for a workout bench (they just aren’t high enough for that). But they would help with plank work by adding some difficulty. I also could use them for balance work like squats and lunges, plus they could be used for step-ups since they do add a bit of height and they are not going to slide on my floor as my step ladder does. So I ordered them and they arrived at my house just in time for my Saturday workout.

They are pretty cute, just like miniature BOSU balls. And they are much easier to store in my home gym collection than the full-sized one would be. In Saturday’s workout, there was only one exercise that really could use them (we had hip bridges so I put my feet on them for an added challenge), but after I did the home workout I did a little extra just so I could use them. I only did squats on them, but I could tell right away that it was making squats so much harder and my body was working a lot more to do them. That’s exactly what I was hoping they would do and it proved to me that I can work on regaining some of the strength and muscle that I have lost.

I’m excited to keep using the BOSU Pods in my workouts and finding ways to continue to challenge myself. This week I’ll also be able to test them with if they do help enough with plank work when I’m nauseous. I’m not expecting them to be enough, but you never know. I’m in a much better mood and have a much more positive mindset after this past week so I’m hopeful that I can make things work for me.

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Posted in Fitness, Fun Stuff

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Baby Steps With Cooking (or I’m Cautiously Optimistic)

Posted on May 22, 2020 | Comments Off on Baby Steps With Cooking (or I’m Cautiously Optimistic)

I wrote about how I have been doing a lot more cooking these days a little while ago. At least being forced to cook more often is one positive of the current situation. I know that I could have just done a lot of frozen dinners and delivery food, and I am proud that I didn’t do that. I have gotten some delivery food and I do get some frozen meals when I get groceries, but I don’t do it that often. And compared to before, I’m not getting delivery food as often (both to try to save money and for safety reasons). And since I don’t like to just have meals made of snack foods, I have been forcing myself to cook a few times a week.

Some of the cooking I’m doing has been stuff I probably couldn’t do during normal times. I have been cooking a nicer breakfast/brunch several days a week. If I had work, I couldn’t do that. But since I only work an hour, I can do my work and then make food after. The breakfasts that I cook aren’t anything fancy, but I have been making lots of egg dishes and it does feel special compared to what I normally eat in the morning. I haven’t gotten super creative with breakfasts since I’m usually cooking when I’m hungry, but the fact that I’m cooking that many mornings is a good change for me.

Since a lot of days I eat my first meal as brunch, I usually do brunch and then dinner (sometimes with a snack). And my dinners aren’t fancy either, but they are more creative than things I used to cook. There have been a lot of days that I cook pretty basic stuff, but it’s still more interesting than just a turkey burger and veggies (and there’s nothing wrong with that, but that’s a lot of what I used to make). For example, the other night I had a spice packet for fajitas. So that’s what I made. Cooking veggies and some chicken wasn’t too crazy, but it still was more than I probably would do before. And part of the reason why I might not have done it before was that I wasn’t doing a lot of planning.

I’ve tried meal planning several times. Sometimes it clicks with me for a little bit, but it has never really stuck. And I don’t know why that is. I’ve tried to do stricter meal planning with prepping everything one day a week so it’s all ready. I’ve tried writing out a menu and planning on when I’d eat leftovers. And I’ve tried so many ways in between those ideas. It just hasn’t worked for me. And I’ve tried to force it to work over and over again. And now, I’m realizing that maybe meal planning just isn’t going to be something I can accomplish. I’m not really meal planning right now, and I’m doing more cooking than ever. Even when you take out the breakfasts I’m making, I’m still cooking so much more.

Maybe I need to meal plan with the idea of what days will I cook, what days will I eat leftovers, and what days will I eat a frozen meal or get something from a restaurant (either going out or getting delivery). I need to feel comfortable with a few different recipes that I know I can make and don’t feel too crazy. There have been a few things I’ve been making over and over again and I feel comfortable making them without having to look at a recipe. And if I can build upon those things I already feel good about making, then I could have a lot of recipes that I could turn to when I need to cook.

I wish I could be able to do this when it’s easy to go to the grocery store to get ingredients. It’s not easy for me to decide what I want to eat a week or two in advance. I have been doing grocery delivery to get ingredients from time to time. But I also don’t want to end up spending a lot of extra money because I’m randomly buying groceries. At the same time, I don’t know how much I can change at one time. Maybe I should just be happy that I’m cooking more and not stress too much about the grocery delivery.

I’m still trying to stay hopeful that once life starts getting back to normal that I’ll be able to maintain at least some of my new cooking routine. I will probably still have another month or so before things start getting normal again, so that’s time to continue to build the habit. Eventually, a switch will have to flip for me and I just don’t know how that will happen. But this is another attempt at making cooking more routine for me and I can only hope that this is the way that it clicks in place for me.

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Feeling Sick Just Isn’t Fun (or I Was Already Doing Nothing)

Posted on May 21, 2020 | Comments Off on Feeling Sick Just Isn’t Fun (or I Was Already Doing Nothing)

When I was put on antibiotics after my visit to urgent care, I was very grateful because I did want my leg to feel better. And I’m glad to say that now, I’m almost totally better. I knew it wouldn’t be completely fixed by the antibiotics because I do still have an autoimmune disease and the flare is brought on by that. But now, it’s what a normal flare is like for me and not something that is causing me intense pain or issues trying to walk.

This was only the second time I went on antibiotics for my autoimmune disease. I know that it can almost seem like a miracle cure because it does help a lot. The other time I was on antibiotics, I wasn’t having a bad flare. But my old dermatologist wanted to see what would happen. I went along with it, but I knew that it probably wasn’t going to do much. I knew it would temporarily fix it, but that it doesn’t cure the disease. It’s a temporary fix until another flare happened. But I did it and it was great to be without any flares for a few weeks.

But when I was on antibiotics that time, I also got very sick. Because it’s a very powerful broad-spectrum antibiotic, it doesn’t just kill one type of bacteria. It can kill lots of bacteria in your body. When I was on the antibiotics back then, I didn’t really think about that happening so I was surprised when I got so sick. And there are a lot of things you can’t take when on antibiotics because of how it interacts in your body. The good thing was that I did feel better pretty soon after stopping the antibiotics. But the time that I was sick was just not fun. All I wanted to do while I was sick was sit at home on the couch or in bed and do nothing.

And sitting at home doing nothing is already pretty much what I have been doing. So when I was put on antibiotics last week, I knew that not much would necessarily change in my life except I might feel pretty cruddy. I was lucky this time and I didn’t start feeling sick until day 3 or 4 of the antibiotics. It mainly felt like a stomach bug. Unfortunately, most things you take when you have a stomach bug aren’t things you can take on antibiotics (basically, you can’t do anything that might change how your body absorbs medication through your stomach). I was a bit more proactive this time and asked the doctor at urgent care what I could be prescribed ahead of time since I was anticipating feeling sick. And I did get some stuff that helped me and I was so glad I didn’t have to go back to the hospital to pick up anything. I was able to stay home and not leave my house. Which again, isn’t much different from what I’ve been doing already.

Normally, being home and doing nothing is a break from regular life. This time, it was just more of the same. I think because it was what I was already doing, it did take a bit more of a toll on my mental health. I wasn’t depressed, but I was very moody and easily upset because I was feeling so sick. Doing nothing and resting has lost its novelty because I’ve been doing that for so long already. But I didn’t have an option to do anything different so I just had to suck it up and get through it.

I’ve been off the antibiotics for a few days now, and I’m finally feeling better from them. I still have a bit of an uneasy stomach, so I’m trying to eat things that I know have good bacteria in them to rebalance my body. And I know I will be fine soon. The difference between the last day of taking the antibiotics and now is huge. I’m probably 80% back to feeling normal. And the last bit will just take some time and before I know it, this will all just be a memory.

As upset and annoyed as I was by being sick this last time, I guess I can be a bit grateful that there was nothing on my schedule that I had to miss. I didn’t have to skip a party or an event I was looking forward to. I only had plans to do nothing. So that was one thing I didn’t have to worry about or feel distressed about. But I still don’t want to be sick again during quarantine (outside of routine nausea I have to deal with). I’m already feeling a bit bored with not having anything to do. Being bored with nothing to do and feeling sick is even worse. At least it’s done now.

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Default ThumbnailBack To Back Medical Issues (or I Guess My Body Gave Me A Sign) Default ThumbnailMy Cold Caught Up With Me (or I Guess I Was Due To Get Sick) Default ThumbnailYup, I’m Sick (or Trying To Take Care Of Me) Default ThumbnailBeing Sick (or Feeling Off) Default ThumbnailAnother Attempt At A Reset (or Feeling Sick Got Me Into A Bad Routine) Default ThumbnailAnother Week Of Pushing Through (or Feeling Strong Before Feeling Sick)

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At Home Hair (or I Haven’t Done This Since I Was A Teenager)

Posted on May 20, 2020 | Comments Off on At Home Hair (or I Haven’t Done This Since I Was A Teenager)

With isolation/quarantine lasting as long as it has, there are a lot of routine things that people are missing out on. Some of them are things that only happen once a year or so (like some doctor appointments or fancy spa days that people might plan), but there are a lot of things that people do regularly that they can’t do right now. And a lot of those things are beauty-related. I don’t do a ton of regular beauty appointments, but I do have a few. I do get waxed once a month (waxing is better for my skin than shaving for my autoimmune disease) and I do miss doing that. I was supposed to go in just as things closed, so it is a little annoying since shaving isn’t an option for me. But at the same time, I’m not seeing anyone so I don’t care too much.

The other regular beauty thing I do is my hair. Haircuts and color something that I have seen a lot of protestors complaining about. And I get it. If you need a haircut or your color looks bad, it’s frustrating that you can’t do much about it. But at the same time, there is no way to keep proper distance while doing someone’s hair. And nobody’s hair is worth risking getting sick or being a carrier and getting someone else sick. I know that not everyone agrees with me, but there are so many other things to worry about than hair.

I was lucky because my hair was done right before things closed. And even though my hair grows quickly, I didn’t care that it was getting longer. Most days, I just pin my hair back so it’s out of my face. Again, I’m not going out so it doesn’t matter how I look. When I need my hair to look good, I can blow dry my hair and style it. When I did my self-tape audition, my hair didn’t exactly look like it does in my headshot. But the casting directors know that nobody can get their hair done right now so hopefully, they aren’t judging us on that.

But the one hair frustration I was dealing with was my hair color. I’ve been going gray for almost 15 years now, but the grays have been significantly worse in the past few years. I do have different products I can use to cover my grays between appointments. And if I needed to look good (like for my audition), I just used those. I don’t like seeing so much gray in my hair, but if that was my biggest issue then I am lucky.

But my friend who did my hair the last time said that she was going to come by with some hair color for me as a gift. I knew a lot of people were buying box color, but I wasn’t going to do that. So to have a friend drop off professional color for me was so nice! She gave me enough to do my roots and cover the grays. It wasn’t for a full color, but it was something to hold me over.

When I was a teenager, I did dye my hair at home. Back then, I did use a cheap box color. It never looked horrible, but it never looked great. It was mainly to add some red to my hair and sometimes in the sun, it did look a little orange. But compared to some of the hair fails my friends in high school had, mine wasn’t bad. But that experience did scare me a bit about coloring my hair at home. Even if it was professional color.

Fortunately, my friend was able to help me via text with what I needed to do. I sent her photos to show her where I had the color for her to check that I was doing it right. There wasn’t a lot I could screw up (I just had to mix 2 products and then use the brush she gave me to put it on my hair), but I was still nervous. By the time I got the color all over where my grays were, I sent her another photo and she confirmed that it looked good.

I had a little bit of leftover color, so she told me for the last 10 minutes that I should mix that leftover with some conditioner and put it on the rest of my hair to refresh things. I did that (sorry, forgot to take a photo that time) and before I knew it, it was time to wash out the color. I didn’t think too much about washing out the color, but I’m glad it didn’t stain my tub too much (I did have to clean it after this because some dye did stick to it). My friend was right, it was a pretty simple process and I don’t think I screwed it up. I wish I had taken a before photo, but I wasn’t thinking about that. But this is my after photo and I can tell you that before dyeing it, I had a lot of gray hair on the side of my head. And now I don’t!

This wasn’t as good as getting it done by a professional, but it was much better than what I did in high school. And I will admit that I do feel a little better about myself now that I’m not seeing all the grays. But I never would have been protesting to get a salon open even with the boost that this gave to me. I know that right now, this is the safest way for me to color my hair. And if things remain closed for a few more months, I’ll probably ask my friend if she can help me with getting me some color again. Most of the people I know who do hair have been offering this to their clients. So if you are worried about your roots, reach out to your hairstylist to see if they can mix some color for you.

This isn’t how I normally would do my hair, but as I’ve said so many times, this isn’t normal times. I’m just grateful that I did have a chance to have a small bit of normalcy and to feel a bit more like myself. And I’m glad that nobody had to put themselves at risk for getting sick for me to do this.

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Default ThumbnailDoing Some Beautification (or Feeling Better From The Outside In) Default ThumbnailTime For A Bit Of A Change (or Getting Chopped) Default ThumbnailGetting A New Look (or Two Attempts To Dye My Hair) Default ThumbnailContinuing To Get Back To Me (I Needed My Hair Done!) Default ThumbnailCoconut Oil Hair Mask (or Trying A Simple DIY Beauty Trick) Default ThumbnailGetting Pushed Into Changing (or A Story About My Hair)

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Back To Back Doctor Days (or At Least This Was A Virtual Appointment)

Posted on May 19, 2020 | Comments Off on Back To Back Doctor Days (or At Least This Was A Virtual Appointment)

Last week, I was at urgent care on Monday. I hadn’t planned on being at the hospital for any doctor’s appointments any time soon, so that was something that broke up my routine a bit. But the next day, I had a scheduled appointment. This time, it was another appointment with my therapist. But it had already been planned to be a virtual one, so I knew I would be able to stay home for it.

When I scheduled the appointment, I was still working my normal hours. So I had a lot of free time before my appointment. Also, this appointment was originally about the new medication that I was put on, but I had already stopped that medication (after emailing with my therapist). So I had a lot of time to think about what we would discuss.

I was still in a lot of pain and discomfort from the cellulitis, but I knew that wasn’t something I necessarily had to discuss in my appointment. But it still made me laugh a bit when my therapist opened our appointment by asking how I was doing. My only response was that was a loaded question. I explained that mentally I was doing the best that could be expected and if I was not stressed or worried that maybe that would be concerning. Fortunately, she understood exactly what I meant. Her main concern was that I wasn’t having any symptoms that were concerning me or that I was doing significantly worse than before.

We did discuss the medication I was briefly on and I explained that the reaction I was having could have something to do with the state of the world, but I wasn’t sure. And I wasn’t willing to risk trying it because the symptoms were concerning (I was having some panic attacks and I felt my OCD getting worse). And I think she agreed with me that it would be very difficult to know if a new medication is helping me. And if I tried something new and it did help, maybe it only helped because of how crazy everything is and in normal circumstances, it wouldn’t be helping. It’s weird to feel like I’m putting things on hold, but that’s the best case right now. I want to try some other medications to see if they help, but I don’t feel ok doing it right now.

I’m glad that my therapist understood how I felt and didn’t think I needed to worry about trying anything new right now. She agrees that my focus should just be on being ok and feeling safe with how things are. And when things start to normalize a bit, then I can start working on seeing if another medication can benefit me or not. I have another virtual appointment in a few months, and maybe by then, we will be in a new phase of reopening. I’m guessing the appointment will stay virtual, which is fine with me because I do prefer those. But it would be nice to get to a point where I can start working on bettering myself and not just getting through this.

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Default ThumbnailSome More Virtual Therapy (or Trying Another Medication) Default ThumbnailAnother Isolated Therapy Session (or My Anxiety Is Normal) Default ThumbnailAnother Virtual Doctor Appointment (or Planning Some Next Steps) Default ThumbnailFollowing My Doctor’s Instructions (or Days Off From Vyvanse) Default ThumbnailHaving A Lot Of Repeat Days (or More Organizing and More Virtual Hangouts) Default ThumbnailA Super Easy Therapy Appointment (or Just Doing A Check-In)

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Why Can’t I Just Have A Normal Week? (or Another Bad Week Of Workouts)

Posted on May 18, 2020 | Comments Off on Why Can’t I Just Have A Normal Week? (or Another Bad Week Of Workouts)

I was really looking forward to being able to say I had a good week of workouts. I knew that it should be one of my good weeks. My finger was finally healed to the point where I could finally start bending it. I was excited to do my workouts because I finally had some motivation and was really to work hard. And then I got cellulitis.

Monday was the day I went to urgent care, but I tried to work out that morning. It was a pretty pathetic workout attempt. I had to sit down for almost everything. I did a lot of core work and stuff with my arms. I had to modify all the exercises because the swelling in my leg was so bad that I couldn’t do a lot of things. And I broke down crying because the pain was so intense. I think that workout was the push for me to go to the hospital because I realized how bad things had gotten.

Wednesday was similar to Monday because the swelling hadn’t really gone down much. I had the same amount of pain, but I had a bit more flexibility in my leg and was able to do a few exercises standing up. But still, nothing like what I normally could do. And what was so frustrating was that my mind wanted to do more. But my body just couldn’t.

Friday and Saturday were better because my leg was almost normal. Still, I had to do a lot of modifications because there were things that caused me pain that normally wouldn’t. But it was nice to be able to do a bit more and to feel like I had some proof that my leg was getting better. I was worried that it wasn’t getting better because I was still dealing with so many issues, but my workouts did prove that I wasn’t struggling as much as I had earlier in the week.

Even though by the end of the week I was doing ok, it was still such a frustrating workout week. I am tired of having a bad week after a bad week. I really need a good week, and I don’t know if that will happen soon. This week, there is a chance my nausea will kick in. And my leg still isn’t totally better. So I might be struggling again. And the struggle physically combined with dealing with quarantine/isolation is really taking a toll on me. I know that there are some OTF studios starting to open up, but the ones here might not be open for a few months. It’s been over 2 months since my last in-studio workout. That’s such a long time. And even though before I was trying to stay positive and thinking how I just have to do the same amount of time again, the longer I’m away from my workouts the harder it is. But at the same time, if the studios in LA opened, I don’t know if I’d go right away. There are still so many things unknown about reopening and I want to see what happens before I take the risk.

Even though this past week of workouts was pretty bad, I do just keep reminding myself that I at least tried the workouts the best that I could. It’s better than doing nothing. And there were times when I was wondering if I should just skip it. I’m glad I did something because I probably would have felt worse if I didn’t do it. But I just want to have a good workout week again. I feel like I’m owed one by now.

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Default ThumbnailNot My Usual Workout Recap Post (or I Survived A Bad Week) Default ThumbnailMore Like My Normal Workouts (or Finally Getting Over Some Things) Default ThumbnailThis Does Feel Like A Normal Routine (or Another Full Workout Week) Default ThumbnailTough Workout Week (or I Made It Through My 4 Workouts) Default ThumbnailMissing My Normal Workouts More Than Ever (or I Needed Someone To Push Me This Week) Default ThumbnailKeeping Things Normal For A Holiday Week (or Steady With My Workouts)

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