Monthly Archives: March 2024

A Goodbye For Now (or I Think It’s Time For A Break)

For about 11 1/2 years, I’ve been writing this blog. I’ve done over 2900 posts in that time, and most of the time, I’ve been writing 5 posts weekly. About a year ago, I decided to go down to 2 posts weekly because I felt like I was starting to struggle with what to write. It was hard to let myself be ok with not writing every day, but I’m glad I made that change a year ago. I felt like I had to find things to write about instead of just writing about what I wanted to write about. I also made changes to how I wrote about my workouts and made them more like a general post instead of going into details about my workouts. Even with the changes I made, I still had this blog as a big part of my life for over a decade.

But I’ve decided that it’s time for me to step away from this blog, at least for a little bit. I haven’t been feeling that inspired to write here. My life hasn’t been that crazy, and I’m starting to appreciate the boringness of my life at times. Yes, I still want to have excitement and I’m trying to not just live the same life every single week. But I also know that if I need a weekend at home doing a lot of nothing, there is value in that. And even with only writing one non-workout post a week, sometimes I still feel a bit of pressure to have something happening in my life so I can write about it. Or if I have a lot of things happening within a week or two, I feel the pressure to decide what thing I should write about and what thing I should skip since I don’t want to write about an event weeks after it happened.

It’s crazy to think about how I started the blog in my 20s and now I’m in my 40s. My entire 30s were documented on here and that’s something I’m so grateful for. There have been countless times when I was trying to remember something and I searched my blog for the post about it. It’s been an incredible scrapbook for a big chunk of my life. I have changed my life in so many ways since I started writing. And even with the struggles I’ve had, things have improved so much for me. I don’t think my life is perfect, but the things I have now are things that I wished for years ago. I have a much more stable living situation, which is something that I will always appreciate. I have made a lot of changes in my health but more importantly, in my fitness.

It’s because of this blog that I discovered Orangetheory. I was invited to a blogger preview and I know I wouldn’t have found it as soon as I did without that preview workout. I rarely was in the neighborhood of that first studio before working out there, so I might not have found the perfect workout for me until they opened the studio in my neighborhood. I can’t imagine what my life would be like now if I wasn’t invited to that workout. I’ve had a lot of great things come my way because of this blog, but I think that finding my workout home is easily the best thing that happened because I started this blog.

I found new communities because of my posts. I met new friends that I still keep in touch with, even though almost all of them have stopped blogging by now. I think the blogging world isn’t what it used to be and that’s ok. Things like blogs are trends that come and go and it seems like people have been using other ways to be creative and have a voice. I think I’m starting to feel that way as well. When I started writing, it was a creative outlet that I knew was missing in my life. I don’t necessarily have a new outlet that I have started to use, but I’m more active on social media and that’s a bit of creativity for me. Again, the things I needed and felt were missing in my life in my late 20s are different from what I feel like I need now.

I also find it a little poetic that the day this post will come out will be the 4th anniversary of the last normal day we had before the pandemic. I think most people think of that Friday the 13th as the last normal day even if things weren’t totally shut down right after that. And the pandemic caused such a huge shift in my life, just like it did for almost everyone. I wish that not everything had to change the way it did, but I was forced to adapt to what came my way and I’ve been trying to make the best of it. But I also know that being forced to change is sometimes the only way that change will happen, so I am grateful that I have been able to make positive changes and create a pretty awesome situation for myself.

I don’t know if this will be the last post I write on here or not. I might take a few months off and miss writing so I start things up again. I might realize that I want to write randomly when something big happens so I write a few posts a year. I’m not setting any rules or ideas for this break for now because I don’t know how I will feel during my time away. I thought going down to 2 posts a week would stress me out and I’d miss writing, but it ended up being the best choice for me. I don’t know how much longer I could have kept up 5 posts weekly. I think this last year was much less stressful because I didn’t have that pressure on myself to keep going. And I’m hoping I’ll have another positive reaction to this new break.

So I guess this is it for now. It’s not necessarily a goodbye, but I’m not sure when I’ll be back on here again. But if I come back to start writing again, it will be from a fresh perspective after having some time away. And if I decide to not write here again in the future, thank you to all of you who have been following my journey. Whether you’ve been reading since I started in July 2012 or this is somehow the first post you’ve read. I have been so grateful that people have been interested in what I have to say and what I think. This blog has given me a voice when I really needed one and I have been so lucky to have an audience for this long.

Going A Little Easier On My Good Week (I Hope I Don’t Wish I Had Pushed More)

This past week of workouts was another one of my good weeks. But just like the week before, I didn’t push myself too much. I wasn’t planning on going easy for both of my good weeks and worry that this will cause me to struggle a bit more with my bad week, but that’s how things turned out this past week. I had to go a little easier due to some hip pain associated with the weather, which is something out of my control. And then I chose to go easier on Thursday for another reason.

Thursday was a benchmark workout, which I usually push myself for. This time, it was the 12-minute run/bike. This is one of the harder benchmarks since it will always take 12 minutes to complete it. With the other benchmarks, you can tell yourself if you go faster it will be done faster. That won’t work for this one. I’ve been very lucky to be able to improve on my distance on the bike the last few times, but this time I knew that pushing myself wasn’t the right choice. I was going to be at a work event that evening and I would be standing around in heels for several hours. So I needed my legs to not be exhausted after my workout. It was a little annoying to not push myself when I would have loved to see if I could beat my past distance, but I didn’t want to be miserable later that day. So I took it easy for those 12 minutes. I set the bike resistance level for between my base and push pace levels and just tried to bike as long as I could without take a break. I did still have to take a few breaks, but they weren’t that frequent. I also tried to ignore the distance I got since I knew it wouldn’t be great, but I did look at the end and it was so much worse than almost all my past benchmarks. But I just reminded myself that I wasn’t trying so I can’t compare my distance from when I was trying.

A lot of the rest of the week had a lot of endurance work, so I spent my workouts being focused on keeping things steady and not having too many hills and valleys with how I was feeling. I’m probably a lot better at power or sprints for cardio than I am for endurance, so it’s not the worst thing for me to slow down a bit more than I would like. It’s not easy for me to do since I do like to push myself, but I’m trying to understand more and more that I can have more well-rounded workouts that aren’t always pushing me to the limit.

I know that my bad week is likely to start this week, but I’m trying to stay hopeful that either it won’t happen or won’t be as bad as it can be. I don’t know if I’ll be able to push myself much this week, but I really want to try as long as other factors allow me to. I do worry that I will feel worse about my bad week, but I also know that if that happens it’s only a minor setback and I’ll be feeling more like myself again soon. But even if I know that, it can still mess with my mind when I feel like I’m not able to do what I know I can do. I hate that I get down on myself like that, but it’s just how my brain works. Maybe having an easier week when I’m feeling good will make an easy week not as emotional and tied to a bad week and that can help me feel better about it. I guess I’ll find out after the next week or two when I’m over my bad week.

Listening And Learning (or A Brand New Monthly Challenge)

Last month, I challenged myself to listen to my body more. I think many things were coming together that made me feel like I needed to do this. I was struggling a lot with sleep, but that didn’t account for everything I was feeling. I just had an odd feeling of being off. I don’t want to assume that my iron issues were causing this, but I will say that taking my new supplements has been helping with that feeling so maybe that was it. But I just knew I needed to listen to my body with so many things and I needed to find a way to feel like myself again.

I think sleep will always be an on-and-off issue for me. I naturally don’t wake up early, but I make myself do it so I can go to my workout. I make an effort to go to bed early and not stay up as late as I’d like, but that doesn’t always mean I’ll fall asleep quickly. I still wake up sometimes in the middle of the night, and I don’t know why I do that. It’s not that I’m thirsty or in pain, I just don’t always sleep all night. But I made sure to note when that happened and took things a bit easier the next day since I knew I’d be tired.

But I think the biggest thing I did with listening to my body was to use that with how I ate. Just like sleeping, I know food will always be an issue for me. I can’t just always eat what I want, but I know that listening to my cravings can help me manage food better. I also didn’t stress myself out as much about eating at official meal times. I did try to have 3 meals in a day, but sometimes it was more like 2 meals and 2 snacks. I don’t track calories or other nutrition like that, but I do have a general idea of how much I’m eating and I know I’m staying within the right amount of calories. And I was feeling more satisfied when I did try to indulge in my cravings a bit more. If I was craving something sweet or salty, I didn’t ignore that. I didn’t necessarily eat exactly what I would like if it wasn’t the best choice, but I tried to figure out something that would help that craving. And yes, sometimes I did eat the “bad” thing because I knew that was going to be the only thing that I wanted.

Overall, I’m happy with what I did with my challenge in February. I feel much more like myself now. I still have some physical ailments that I know won’t be resolved by listening to my body, but things are much easier on me when I don’t have extra things I have to work through.

And for March, I decided to go back to the type of challenge I did when I started doing these. I recently got a new-to-me camera from a friend. It’s a very nice camera and so far I’ve only used it with all the auto settings. But because it’s the first camera I’ve owned that has all these settings and ways you can take amazing photos, I want to learn how to do that. So I’ve decided this month that I’d like to take some online photography classes.

I’ve already saved a few different free classes I found online and I’m going to work through them. I don’t think I’ll be able to get through them all within the month, but I’d like to have some idea about how to use more than just the auto setting on the camera by the end of the month. I don’t know how often I might use this new camera since the main reason I got it from my friend is to do self-tape auditions, but I think it would be fun to be able to take nice photos from time to time. I don’t want to get myself in a situation where I regret not learning how to use the different features before having an opportunity to use it.

I’m hoping by the end of the month, I will feel more comfortable using the new camera and I’ll start to have some fun with it. I don’t know if I’ll pick up photography as a new hobby, but you never know. New hobbies start after trying something, so maybe I’ll end up finding a new creative way to express myself!

Having A Bit Of A Reset Week (or Not Feeling Like I Need To Push Myself)

I was feeling much more like my normal self this past week. This is always good, but it’s extra nice for my workouts. I will always have the potential to not feel great between the pain I sometimes have with my hip and the nausea I get with my injection, but when I know there’s a chance to have a good week it automatically puts me in a much better mood. I did have a little bit of hip pain this past week, but it wasn’t much worse than what I deal with daily. And I must have gotten my injection in the right spot because I didn’t have much nausea. I did inject myself in a spot that caused the worst bruise I’ve ever gotten from a shot, but that pain is a lot easier to deal with since I only have to be careful about how I bend down so I don’t make it hurt.

Typically, when I have a good week like I had this past week, I use it to push myself really hard. I feel like I need to make up for having to go easy the week or two prior. But this past week, even though the workouts always have a mix of endurance, strength, and power they felt more like they focused on endurance. A lot of the workouts focused on being steady with what you were doing in the block or repeating the same thing several times so you could work on improving what you were doing the time before.

For cardio, we had some workouts that were focused on longer hills that didn’t go as high as some of the inclines/resistance levels normally go. We also had some workouts that were long push paces followed by base paces and that pattern repeated itself for the entire cardio block. It allowed me to not feel like I needed to go too crazy on the bike and by not pushing myself I also didn’t need to take as many breaks to deal with my hip pain.

On the rower, we had a lot of repeating rows. Sometimes it was about repeating a specific distance and sometimes it was about repeating a specific time. But it was a lot of repetition and I used that to play around with different rowing styles to see how I could maximize my speed and wattage but not burn myself out too quickly. I know that whenever I do the Dri-Tri next, I will want to make sure that I get through the row quickly but I also know the risks of burning out and having to go slowly for the last part of the row. I don’t think I’ve found the perfect combination of rowing techniques for me yet, but I was happy with how much better my wattage was during this past week’s workouts compared to what I normally do.

On the floor, I didn’t feel like I had the same type of success as I did on the bike or rower. But I was able to play around with some heavier weights for some of the upper body work, which was fun. I learned pretty quickly that I’m not really ready to increase my weights just yet, but I’m so glad I tried. And I felt like they weren’t as much of a struggle as they have been in the past, so I know I’m getting stronger and closer to being able to go heavier with what I use on the floor. I also allowed myself to take a bit more time on the floor and not feel as rushed about getting in as many rounds done so I could make sure my form was ok and I took the time to stretch when necessary. Because of some of the hip pain I have, stretching can be hit or miss with me. Sometimes it doesn’t help me feel better so I’m careful about stretching during the workout. But this past week, it was the type of pain that got a bit less intense with some stretching so I did that when necessary on the floor.

Overall, this wasn’t my typical good week of workouts, but I think this was exactly the type of week I needed. I felt like I found some new baselines for myself that I could use moving forward. I do still like to push myself in my workouts so I’ll probably try to do that this week, but this past week was a good alternative option for me when I’m feeling good and probably a good idea to do from time to time to check in with myself and how my progress with endurance is going.