I definitely have more bad dating stories than I have good dating stories. A lot of the bad stories are about guys I’ve never met, but who are creeps while messaging me, and then I have to unmatch or block them. Fortunately, they out themselves as creeps before I waste too much time on them or make an effort to meet them in person. But of the dates that I actually go on, they still tend to be more negative than positive. Even sometimes the good dates end as not-good dates because there’s not going to be a second date for whatever reason. It’s always disappointing when I think it’s a good date and then the guy says that he doesn’t see a romantic future with me. But I know that it is a numbers game and that eventually, I’ll meet someone good.
And as I’ve said before, at least my bad dating stories give me something funny to write about. The book I wrote about dating is mainly filled with the bad and crazy dates I’ve been on. I’ve written about some of the good ones because I learned some great lessons from those too, but they tend to not be entertaining.
But I also have stories that are about dating but not specifically about the guys I’ve met. I have a section in the book about how dating has allowed me to go to some really fun places around LA. Even after living here for over 20 years, there are so many places I’ve never been to and sometimes they are really amazing and cool. And over the past year, I’ve been learning how there are some hidden gems in my own neighborhood that I’ve never been to either.
I’ve lived in my current neighborhood for 13 years now. And before that, I lived only a mile away from where I am now. So since 2004, I’ve been within a pretty close radius and I feel like I’ve had a lot of time to explore my little part of LA. But there are always places that I just have never been to or places that are new that I haven’t been able to go to yet.
Whenever I have a date and we are meeting near where I live, I have the same few places that I suggest for a first date. They are always places that are very public, usually have others around, and I feel like I can be safe. Most of the time, I’m asked where the date should be. But sometimes the guy I’m meeting suggests the place and it’s somewhere I’ve never been. Before I agree to meet them there, I usually check to make sure that it seems safe. Most of the time, they are suggesting a bar I’ve never been to so it’s usually ok. There’s only one time I remember looking up the bar that was suggested and the reviews online were filled with women warning others that the staff seemed sketchy and they didn’t feel safe. But as long as it seems safe, I’ll agree to go there and it’s usually a fun adventure.
In the past year, I’ve gone to multiple bars that I’ve never been to or even heard of before. Some of them are somewhat close to where I live, but it makes sense that I’ve never been there before. But I had a date recently that suggested a bar that was maybe 10 blocks from my house and I had never heard of it. I’ve probably driven past that bar a thousand times over the years because it’s on a main street that I take several times a week. I couldn’t believe I never noticed a bar there or had been there before, but it was a fun adventure to get to check out a new place.
It was very unique inside but it was comfortable and didn’t feel like you were there to be seen or had to be on while you were sitting there. And there were booths to sit in so you didn’t have to be in the middle of everyone when it started to get a bit more crowded in there.
And the date I had there was a good date. Not just because I got to learn about a new to me place in my neighborhood, but that was a nice bonus. And if I need to suggest a bar in the future for a first date, I might suggest this place since it was fun (at least until karaoke started and it got a bit too loud).
Even if things with this guy don’t move beyond the date we had, at least it was a good date and a positive one to remember when things get crazy or I start to feel a bit hopeless in the endless swiping on the apps. Good dates like this one help me to keep going and remember that not everyone will be a bad date. And I just have to keep going and hoping I’ll find the right guy soon enough. But until then, I guess I’ll just have to look forward to maybe learning about more places near my house that I never would have discovered otherwise.
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