With so much going on in my life lately (workouts, eating right, family stuff, the 5K), my life has almost felt like it was on autopilot lately. I know when I need to do things and when I have to get in my car to drive to something. And of course I know when I need to focus on work.
For a long time, between customers at my day job I was applying for another part-time job. I know that this job isn’t enough to support myself on and I need to find something else to do either around my work hours or between customers at work.
The past two weeks, my between customers or before/after work time have been filled with other things. I kind of forgot about my job search. It just wasn’t the focus of my day and whenever I thought about it, it was when I was already in bed or while I was working and then I got a customer that needed a lot of help. It’s not that I was avoiding it, it’s just that life took over.
But I need to get back into that ASAP. While I’m doing ok for now with bills and things, my savings are getting smaller and smaller. And I am still collecting a little unemployment now (I’m technically underemployed and make less with my job than my unemployment claim is worth so I get the difference), but that is going to end in the next few weeks.
It’s not easy job hunting. Not only do I need something flexible, I want something to work around my current job because I don’t want to leave this job. Something like writing, editing text, data entry, or virtual assistant work would be perfect because most of those things can be done around my own hours.
So I’m back to searching online and trying to search through all the “work-from-home” scams out there (and there are a ton!). I’m also back to asking friends if they know anything that would work for me (just like how I’m asking on here if you all know something). I know that I will find something eventually, but this in-between time of waiting to find that perfect second job is tough and making me nervous.
So if any of you know of any good and flexible jobs (either based in LA or work from home), please share them with me. I really need to expand my searching and asking for help is one way to get more eyes out there on the job search for me. Thanks in advance for any of you who comment or contact me with any job ideas!
It’s been a while since I had a happy hour outing with my friend Rayshell, so I’m glad that we got to do one this week. We met at Westside Tavern which is pretty close to my house. The last time I was there was with my parents, so I was happy to go back.
As always, it was fun to catch up with Rayshell. We’ve both had some big things happening in our lives and sometimes just seeing news on social media isn’t enough.
We talked about my grandpa some as well as my workouts and new medication. And she talked about some stuff going on in her life like her acting career.
While we were talking about our acting careers, Rayshell said something to me that really inspired me. There’s something that we are hoping to do. And while I can’t share much now, I think that we are getting some really great people interested in this and hopefully our idea will become a reality soon.
I love that just hanging out with a friend and talking about life can inspire something so big in my head. The rest of the dinner, we just talked about this idea and it kind of revitalized me after a kind of crazy day at my day job (it was a day where all the customers were asking questions that either I didn’t know the answers to or could only be answered by the producers at each location).
It was also nice to have something fun in my day when things have been stressful for about 2 weeks. Besides everything with my grandpa, I’m still worried about my grandma and that hasn’t been resolved yet (and probably won’t be for another month or two). Even though it’s important to focus on family and make sure that everyone is taken care of, I need to remember to take time out for myself so I don’t lose myself in worrying about everyone else.
Dinner itself was nice and relaxing. I had been careful what I ate earlier in the day so I could enjoy my meal. And I did make a decent choice (there were definitely much worse entrees I could have chosen) and I enjoyed what I ate. Having meals like this make my boring meals most of the time totally worth it. And those boring meals are necessary if I want to be able to go out for meals and not worry too much about it (although in my head I was still feeling a little guilty because I could have chosen something healthier).
Since Rayshell had to a farther drive home than I did, we didn’t stay at dinner too long. But it really was a perfect hangout to help get me out of the house and back to feeling more normal than I have been.
I’ve previously written about Fitbit on here. I had a pretty bad experience with them and I returned the Fitbit I bought then almost right away.
I was ok not having a Fitbit for a while. I had used a pedometer in the past and it wasn’t something that really excited me.
But lately, more and more of my friends have been talking about competing against each other on Fitbit. I learned that I could use the Fitbit app and have my steps counted by my phone. So since that was free, I did it.
But I realized that all the steps I take at Orangetheory didn’t count since I wasn’t holding my phone while I worked out. So I started looking into getting a Fitbit device again.
I looked at the ones you wear on your wrist, but it didn’t seem right for me. First, I already wear a watch so I didn’t want something else on my wrist. And secondly, it probably wouldn’t count my steps on the treadmill at Orangetheory because I have to hold onto the treadmill (balance issues).
So I decided on the Fitbit One. It’s pretty small and I can either wear it on my pants on in the middle of my bra (I’ve been going with the middle of the bra choice since it’s totally out-of-the-way).
During my workouts at Orangetheory, I’ve been putting it on my pants since my sports bra goes up much higher than a normal bra.
It’s nice to count all my steps during the day. And the app on my iPhone is super easy to use and read.
But what I’ve been loving the most about Fitbit this time (besides the fact that it’s working and syncing perfectly) is the social and competitive aspect of it.
You can be friends with different people on there and see how you rank against each other over the past 7 days. Since I just started using the Fitbit, I’m pretty low in the rankings but I’m moving up.
And through the app they also have a bunch of different challenges that you can do with your friends. Right now, I’m doing a weekday challenge with 9 other people (including my agent). But over the weekend, we did a weekend challenge.
I didn’t win that one (and I don’t think I’ll win the weekday one either), but I had a lot of fun doing it. And it’s really motivating me to get as many steps during the day that I can. I’ve been doing laps around my house between customers at work or while I’m watching tv shows that don’t need that much attention. And since I live in such a tiny house, my laps are only like 5 steps each way.
But every step adds up and since Saturday (when I got the Fitbit), I’ve hit my target of 10,000 steps each day! And all of those steps equal more calories burned, so it will be helping me to reach more goals. This is all wins for me.
Are any of you on Fitbit? I’d love to have more friends to compete against!
Even though I’ve been doing lots of treadmill training (and it showed in my last 5K), I was still so nervous going into this race. I knew that the hills that were added last year would still be there and those hills were the worst part of the race for me last year.
But I tried to stay positive. Lots of my new friends from my Tone It Up group were doing the race as well and we had plans to meet up before and after the race.
The day before the race, I went to go pick up my race number and other race things. I did meet up with one TIU friend, so that make the craziness of the expo a bit more fun. And as I always do, I took a selfie in my car with my race number.
With an early wake up time in the morning (4am), I made sure I put together my race bag the night before. I don’t think I’ve shared what’s in my race bag in the past, so here it is.
I attach my race number to the hip pack. In one pocket, I have my sunglasses, house/car keys, chapstick, and ID/money/credit card. In the other pocket, I have my headphones and phone (the phone isn’t in the picture since I used it to take a picture). I’m looking into upgrading to a race belt, but right now they are all too small for me.
As soon as my alarm went off at 4am, I was up and ready to go. I carpooled to the race with a TIU friend and we met a bunch of our other TIU friends near the start line.
A few minutes before the race was supposed to start, we split up to go into our corrals. There was 1 friend in a corral with me, so I got her to take a quick pre-race photo for me.
Since the race starts in waves and we were in corral 10, we had about 20 minutes between when the race started and when we actually started. By the time we got up to the start line, the sun was coming out.
My friend in my corral with me had planned to stick with me during the race. It was her first 5K and she wasn’t sure how fast she would go. But she was really fast! We were only together for the first half of a block and then I didn’t see her again until we met up at the finish line!
The race started pretty ok for me. The first part of the race has a slight decline and then you turn around and go up a slight hill. My hips were feeling it right away, but I kept on going. And I noticed that while I was getting passed a lot, I was also doing some of the passing.
I had set my phone to track my race time and it gave me a little notification when it claimed I had gone a mile (it’s a bit off so I was about 40 feet from the first mile marker). But even with the app being a bit off, my mile time was a lot faster than I expected it to be. I tried to not get too excited and kept focusing on the race.
Toward the halfway point of the race, there was the big hill of the race. This hill was one that I was swearing under my breath during last year. But this year there was a distinct different. I’m guessing it’s because of my treadmill training at Orangetheory. I’m used to doing crazy inclines on the treadmill without being allowed to slow down. So on the big hill, most walkers around me were slowing down but I was maintaining my pace (and passing them!).
Before I knew it, I was getting ready to take the final turn before the finish line. I grabbed my phone out of my bag so I could stop the clock on my phone to see my unofficial time. And I glanced at the phone and all I remembered was that it was saying 53 minutes and some number of seconds.
I crossed the finish line, stopped my clock on my phone, and something happened because the time was erased from my phone!
I couldn’t do anything to bring the time back on the app, so I knew I’d have to wait until the official times were posted. So I walked to where my group was meeting so we could take a post race photo.
And of course I needed a photo with my new race bling!
After taking our photos and chatting about how our races went, we went over to the timing board to see the official times. Everyone in my group had a PR! And when I looked at my time, I thought I was imagining things.
My time was 53:52.8! My time at the Hard Rock Cafe 5K (my previous PR) was 56:52.9! I can’t believe that I had a 3 minute improvement over the past few months! Honestly, I still can’t believe I did that.
My ultimate 5K goal is to get below a 16 minute mile. That’s the requirement for races at Disneyland. And while I don’t know if I will ever do a 10K or a half marathon, I’d love to do a 5K at Disneyland one day.
After we all celebrated our PRs, the TIU ladies and I went out to breakfast. I figured such an awesome race meant that I could splurge a little on breakfast.
Over breakfast, I just kept thinking how grateful I am that I have these awesome ladies in my life. They are such great motivators and I know that they will help push me to my next 5K goal. I’m hoping a bunch of them will do the Hard Rock Cafe 5K with me this fall.
And as soon as I got home, I had to add my latest addition to my medal wall.
My wall is starting to look full now, but I bet I can fit at least 4 or 5 more medals on there before I need to build an extension (or more likely, have my dad build an extension).
Overall, I’m so glad that I didn’t let my nerves get in the way of me having an amazing race. And now that I have my new PR in my head, I can focus on the steps I need to take to get another PR in the fall!
It was not easy to get my 3 workouts in this week, but I did it.
I knew that it was going to be an odd week of workouts even before having to go down to San Diego. I had the Hollywood Half 5K on Saturday and knew that I would not be working out on Friday. And there was a chance that I was going to be at Disneyland on Monday with a family friend.
So the original plan was to work out Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday afternoons.
I cancelled my Disneyland plans right away. Then I started to wonder how I could get 3 workouts in during the week.
It’s probably stupid that I was worried about my workouts when there was a death in the family, but I guess that is how I was coping.
I started to think about what time I would have and how late I would be getting back from San Diego on Tuesday to see if I could do a Tuesday evening workout. But after debating it all for a few minutes, I figured out a schedule.
I would do my Wednesday and Thursday workouts as planned and add an early Sunday workout before driving to be with my family.
Sunday morning was not a great workout for me. Again, I had issues with getting my heart rate high enough (I guess the side effect of a speedy heart rate with my new medication went away). I was also pretty stressed out about going to San Diego. It didn’t feel real that my grandpa died, so I was worried that as soon as I got to San Diego it would all hit me (it did, but not in the way I was expecting it to). I tried my best to get through the workout, but I know that I wasn’t doing my best.
Wednesday was a pretty good one for me. I was worried that I would feel a bit out of shape from the lack of exercise and the good food from the past few days, but it didn’t affect me nearly as much as I thought. The biggest challenge I had in my workout on Wednesday was the 800 meter row.
We had to do this 2 different times in the workout. We had to write down our first time and then try to beat it the second time. And for every second longer our second time took, we had to do a burpee. I pushed myself like crazy on that rower. My goal was to be under 4 minutes, and I did it!
My name is toward the bottom of the board. And you can see that my second time was exactly 1 second slower than the first. So I owed 1 burpee. But considering that my goal was to be under 4 minutes, both my rows were pretty amazing!
After that exhausting workout, I was feeling a bit sore for my Thursday workout. But since it was my final workout before the 5K, I wanted to push myself as much as I could on the treadmill. I wanted to see if I could get a new PR on the 5K, and treadmill training is what will get me there.
The treadmill workout was all hills. I usually hate the hills, but I was grateful for them on Thursday. A majority of the 5K is on a flat road (there are a few hills), so since I’m used to training at an incline the 5K should almost feel like a downhill race.
Besides going hard on the treadmill, I’m still working on upping my weights when I’m doing the floor work. I’m finally starting to see (and feel) the results of the heavier weights. Even though the scale isn’t going down that much, I feel much lighter. And I have some pretty decent sized muscles now (they are just covered up by fat). Hopefully when the scale starts dropping again, the visually results will be seen more because I have more muscle to show off.
I’m so glad I got my 3 workouts in even though I was dealing with so much. I know I say this again and again, but it just proves to me how much of a priority working out is for me now. I never felt like that prior to Orangetheory and it makes me so proud that I’m dedicated to my workouts now.
In tomorrow’s post, I’ll be recapping the Hollywood Half 5K!
While I was in San Diego, I didn’t really worry about what I was eating.
The hotel that we stayed at had a full breakfast. So I ate eggs and a banana both mornings I was there (I also had a muffin one morning). Most of the other options at breakfast were carbs, and I’ve learned from experience that I do best when I have some protein at breakfast.
We didn’t really do lunch any day. I got something to eat, but it was more of a “grab what you want” sort of situation. I pretty much had leftovers from dinner or some of the banana bread that I brought down.
And for dinner, the first two nights my mom cooked. They were super delicious meals and she also made dessert. My family’s favorite dessert is her triple layer brownies (the bottom layer is the gluten-free brownie that I make). I had a brownie each night.
We also went out to dinner at the restaurant in the building that my grandma lives in for the last night. That dinner is usually 3 courses, but I had to leave before dessert.
With all that eating, there was pretty much no exercise. Most of the day each day was spent in my grandma’s apartment. I really didn’t get out for a walk or anything each day. I didn’t think about the lack of exercise since I was so focused on family stuff.
That’s not the routine that I’m used to. But fortunately, I didn’t gain too much weight over the few days I was in San Diego. And as soon as I got home, I got back to my regular food.
I’m really eating pretty boring these days. But I’m ok with that. I like having a routine and a plan of what I will be eating throughout the day. I’m still working on what I want as a regular breakfast (right now it’s a multi-grain waffle with peanut butter and a banana), but I’ve got my lunch down.
At least on work days, I’m eating almost the same thing every day for lunch.
A turkey burger on top of some veggies (usually peas, corn, or broccoli). It’s a good meal to eat and I’m fortunate enough to work from home so I can make a nice lunch each day.
My dinner tends to be a rice bowl. Whether I add beans and veggies to the rice or a veggie burger, it’s usually brown rice based. I do want to work on adding more fruits and veggies to my meals, but I don’t want to force it either.
I’m sure that eventually I will get sick of this for lunch and dinner, but for now it’s working for me. And by making a majority of my days “good days”, those splurges I have occasionally don’t hurt my weight loss efforts too much.
But I am still thinking about those triple layer brownies. I wish I had one to eat today.
I just spent the past few days in San Diego with my family. My parents, aunt, and uncle got down there on Thursday. But they wanted to have a few days with my grandma on their own first. So I came down on Sunday (my brother flew down that day too). And I was there through Tuesday.
I wanted to bring some food down with me for the family, but my mom was cooking a ton. So I mentioned a few things that I could make that would be good for any meal, and my mom thought that my blueberry banana bread would be perfect (plus, my grandpa loved it).
I’ve made that recipe so many times but this had to be my best batch ever.
Obviously it was a very sad time for my family. We had to do some of the not so fun tasks you have to do when someone passes away. I tried to help out as much as I could, but most of it was being done by my mom and uncle (my aunt who is their sibling wasn’t able to get back to San Diego until Tuesday).
We spent some time remembering some of the funny stories about my grandpa. But we didn’t do a ton of that because it always seemed to make someone sad.
My brother got my grandma to play him in several games of backgammon.
My grandma kicks butt at backgammon. Ever since I was little my grandpa would say that grandma must be a witch because she can get double sixes every time that she needs them.
My brother played as tough as he could. But my grandma won 6 games and Ross only won 3.
We also tried to enjoy spending time with the dog. Since my parents had to get down to San Diego quickly, they couldn’t arrange for a dog sitter. So Tucker spent a lot of time with us being his usual goofy self. I think he especially loved having my brother and I in the same hotel room as my parents (it was a two bedroom hotel room). And he loved my bedding.
We also heard some amazing stories from other residents and some employees of the building that my grandparents live in. Everyone had such nice things to say about my grandpa. Everyone seemed so shocked about him passing away because even just the day before he was his usual feisty self.
In the mailroom of the building they live in, they posted a wonderful photo of my grandpa. Nobody in my family had ever seen that photo before, so I asked the concierge of their building where the photo came from. It turns out that they took it when my grandparents moved in a few years ago. They asked if we wanted the photo and I said yes. And my uncle scanned it in so we could all have it.
I wish that I could have stayed down there longer, but my aunts, uncle, and parents will be there for the rest of the week. And my parents will probably be down again in another week or two. I’ll probably go down there again then.
For now, it’s time for me to get back to my normal life. That’s what my grandpa would want me to do. He probably would have hated that I wrote the post on Tuesday about him. He didn’t like having a fuss made for him.
So it’s back to my day job, my workouts, and hopefully some auditions.
I’ve been a part of the Tone It Up community for a little while. I’ve met a couple of TIU ladies through Orangetheory, but I haven’t been able to attend any of the meetups that have been going on lately. A lot of the meetups have happened either while I’m working or when I have other things that I have to go to.
So when someone mentioned online that they were new to the Culver City area and would love to do a dinner hangout, I was quick to respond that I’d love to join in!
The dinner was going to be held at The Wallace, which is only a few blocks away from my house. I was fine walking there, but I don’t walk home alone at night. So I was thinking that I would have to drive, but then one of the ladies going to dinner offered to drive me home!
Then, that morning I found out about my grandpa passing away. My first response was to want to cancel my dinner plans. But then I thought about when my mom was diagnosed with cancer. That night, I had an event to go to as well and it really did help me get through the day. So I figured I would do the same this time.
It was nice to be able to walk to dinner. It gave me time to clear my head. And it was first real walking around that I was able to get done that day (I was pretty much tied to my computer all day).
There were quite a few of us at dinner, but it was perfect! I knew a few of the ladies from before, but I got to meet a bunch of new super amazing women!
The idea at The Wallace is that it is all small plates to share. They say maybe 2-3 plates per person. And since there were so many of us, we kind of split up into a few different groups around the table. There were 4 of us in my group who were going to share, so we checked out the menu and tried to figure out what to get for us.
We ended up with several plates. We got beets (which I didn’t eat because I don’t like beets), cauliflower, short rib ravioli, and a shrimp pancake. And then the one thing that we got that I felt was mean to be was bone marrow.
I had never had bone marrow before. I never wanted to order it because if I didn’t like it, I didn’t want to be stuck with a meal I didn’t like. But my grandpa loved bone marrow. When we would go out to eat, he would always ask the waiters if there were any extra bones so he could have bone marrow. It was one of his things (like drinking martinis).
So it seemed fitting to honor my grandpa’s life by getting something that he loved so much for dinner. This particular restaurant does a very spicy topping on their bone marrow, so I didn’t love that. But it was still very delicious and made me feel like going out to dinner was the right thing to do.
Besides the yummy food, there was great conversation. There were a couple of other ladies who work in the entertainment industry, but a majority didn’t. That’s a rarity for me and I liked it. We all were chatting about various workouts that we do around town and just got to know each other.
I know that I’m really going to try to do more hangouts with the TIU group. They are all so incredible and nice and I really want to get to know those ladies more. I know that I have to miss out on a couple of different events coming up due to my schedule, but I’m really going to try to make it a priority to try to fit in one or two meetups each month with them.
Early on Thursday morning, my grandpa passed away.
As you are reading this, I’m in San Diego spending time with my family. Our focus is on my grandma and making sure that she is ok and that everything that needs to be taken care of is done.
But I wanted to share with you all how badass my grandpa was. He and I had a complicated relationship, but he loved me and I loved him. And he really did live so much in his 92 years (he would have turned 93 next month).
I don’t know a ton about my grandpa’s childhood. I know that he wrote down his history and his family history on his computer somewhere, and I hope that we are able to locate that document. I really want to have that myself so I can remember where he came from and what happened when he was young.
My grandpa was not someone who talked about the past a lot. In fact, I had no idea that he was in Germany in WWII fighting the Nazis until he was talking about it maybe 5 years ago.
When he and my grandma got married they first lived in Lake Charles, Louisiana.
They lived there for a while (my mom, aunt, and uncle were all born there) before moving to LA.
I’ve been to their houses in LA before, but sadly I don’t have any photos of that on my computer. But they lived in the valley and had some really cool houses.
While they lived in LA, they lived it up! My grandpa got a boat and he, my grandma, my mom, my aunt, and my uncle sailed on it a lot. I’ve heard so many stories from their time on the boat, especially when they were in Catalina. My favorite story is actually one about my mom when she was hit in the face with a flying fish one evening in Catalina. But I think my entire family thinks that story is pretty awesome.
He also loved to fly. He flew a small plane that was just big enough for the family.
They flew all over the US on lots of different trips. They would fly to Louisiana to go back to visit family and my mom, aunt, and uncle got to travel the US by plane quite a bit. I think that if he could have flown that plane for the rest of his life, he would have.
Once my grandpa retired, they moved down to San Diego. But even in retirement, my grandpa never slowed down. He designed the backyard and swimming pool at their house, and I don’t think that anyone could have done it better. And they had the best orange trees and the orange juice was freshly squeezed every visit.
I think if I had to pick one of his favorite things to do, it would be to travel. My grandparents always seemed to go on these epic trips, both within the US and internationally. My grandpa traveled to all 7 continents (even Antarctica!) and inspired me to hope to do the same in my lifetime.
Sometimes my parents, my brother, and I was lucky enough to get to join my grandparents on the trips they did. One of the most epic trips that we did as a big extended family was to go to Africa together.
This trip was for my grandparents’ 50th anniversary. All 3 generations (this was way before my cousin had her kids) of the family were there to experience the safari together. Besides my grandparents’ anniversary we also celebrated my parents’ 15th anniversary, my cousin’s 15th birthday, and my 14th birthday while we were in Africa. That was definitely one of the best birthdays that I ever had. My grandpa really wanted all of us to go to Africa together because he had loved it there when he and my grandma went before and he wanted to make sure that we could all experience it as well.
But more than traveling, he loved my grandma.
Last September they celebrated their 67th anniversary and they seemed in as much love as ever.
Last Thanksgiving, almost everyone in my family was able to be together (only one cousin wasn’t able to make it). We took a family photo after dinner and I’m so glad that we were able to get one more (almost) full family photo.
While I am sad that my grandpa passed away, I can only admire how full of a life he lived. He really maximized every day that he had and I don’t think that he had any regrets of things that he wasn’t able to do (except maybe to keep flying a plane later in life).
I will always remember my grandpa as the one who got me to drink martinis (and I got him hooked on blue cheese stuffed olives), who loved to email dirty jokes to the entire family, and the one who gave me my love of traveling.
Thank you Grandpa for everything that you did for our family and for loving us all as much as you did. I know that there will be a hole in our family now that can’t be filled. But we will all try to live life to the fullest to honor how you lived your life.
This past week, I had 3 workouts. And 2 of those 3 were in the morning.
I haven’t been a huge fan of morning workouts. Sometimes I have trouble pushing myself or getting my heart rate up high enough.
But I’m definitely getting better at them.
I’m pretty much doing my Monday workouts at 9:30am instead of 4pm now. Like I’ve said before, there’s no reason for me to have an afternoon workout on a day that I don’t have to work. So that 9:30am class is starting to feel more normal to me.
This past Monday my focus was on continuing my speed and heavier weight training. I’m getting more comfortable with both and that’s making me happy. I’m seeing a transformation in how I feel during and after my workouts. And since I’m not seeing a lot of transformation on how I’m looking physically, having some transformation makes me feel like all my hard work isn’t for nothing. And I can’t help but smile at that.
On Wednesday, since I had the podcast dinner in the evening, I had to do a before work workout. Before work workouts are always early for me (7:30am). It also requires me to wake up an hour earlier than I’m used to. I think that those are going to continue to be tough for me since I’m working out when I’m used to waking up. And I have no desire to wake up an hour earlier every day (I wake up the same time every day because that’s supposed to be better for you).
That workout wasn’t that great for me, but I was there and I did it. I was having a lot of trouble on the treadmill because it was almost all hills, but I took breaks when I had to and got through it.
Friday’s workout was a bit weird for me. I found out bad news on Thursday (more about that tomorrow) and I was just feeling off. It was a run/row day and I’m very grateful for that. It made me have to focus on the workout (since the coach wasn’t telling us during cardio when to transition) and not think about things outside of the workout.
But during the strength section, I had to do down in how heavy the weights were. I think part of that was because I was exhausted. I didn’t get a ton of sleep the night before and I know that being tired affects my workouts a lot.
This week, I’ll do another 3 Orangetheory workouts and then I have my 5K on Saturday. I’m starting to get really nervous about the 5K, but I guess I’ll see how it goes this weekend. And as long as I finish (and don’t finish in last place), I’ll be happy.