I’ve been doing pretty well lately as far as my panic attacks go. I still have my “expected” ones when I’m going to go on a plane or have to go to the dentist. Those aren’t fun, but I’m able to prepare for them the best that I can. But I haven’t had to deal with an unexpected one in a while.
When I saw my therapist, he had asked me about my panic attacks. I had told him that I still had my expected ones, but no unexpected ones. I thought he was asking because it’s in my medical record. But it turns out that Vyvanse can make panic attacks worse. I didn’t know that, but fortunately I hadn’t experienced any issues on my original dose. And my therapist had no reason to believe that on this increased dose I would have issues.
But the other evening, not only did I have an epic unexpected panic attack, I had a horrible gallbladder attack as well.
I’ve had a history of gallbladder issues. It’s something that is in my family history and I used to have attacks every few months or so. I had an ultrasound and I don’t think they found gallstones. I was just told that if my attacks became more frequent or painful to come back and we would reevaluate. I may need my gallbladder out, but as of right now it’s staying.
But I haven’t had a gallbladder attack in a while. And I’m not sure if the panic or gallbladder attack came first, but having them together was pretty horrible. I was in incredible pain. I couldn’t find a comfortable position to be in and I was sweating like crazy. I also might have been crying but I really don’t remember. I may have passed out too because time passed that I don’t remember.
This episode lasted about an hour and honestly it was one of the worst hours I’ve had possibly ever (even worse than recovering from hip or tonsil surgery). I really debated calling 911 at times because whenever I have an unexpected panic attack I question if it is that or if it is really a heart attack or something worse. It doesn’t help that a gallbladder attack can feel similar to a heart attack as well.
Once the episode was done, I rested for a minute before trying to get up. I took a shower (all that sweating made me so gross) and then just hung out at my house the rest of the evening. I was supposed to go to an event that evening for Ms. In The Biz, but there wasn’t really a way for me to pull myself together in time (nor did I really feel comfortable driving).
Yes this sucked that I had to go through it. Panic attacks will possibly be a part of my life for forever (although they are getting better) and gallbladder attacks can be a possibility unless I get it out one day. But honestly, it was only one hour of my day and the rest of the day was pretty good (except having to miss that event). And there’s no point in letting one hour ruin everything else that was good about the day.
Even with the horrible hour I was still able to check off things on my happiness checklist for my therapist. I’m choosing to focus on those good hours and not the one bad one. Hopefully this won’t happen again for a long time, but if it does, I think I’m in a much better mindset to deal with it.