Tag Archives: scheduling

More Friends More Fun (or Still Building My Social Circle)

I’ve talked before about how I’ve had to work hard as an adult to make friends. I lost a lot of my friends when my best friend from college and I ended our friendship and it was tough for me to start over. I was eventually able to reconnect with people I had lost track of in the past (social media was a huge help in doing that) and also went out of my way to make new friends. And after a while, I had a ton of amazing friends that I am incredibly grateful to have in my life and continue to push me to be the best person I can be.

Because I have so many amazing friends now, I do get lazy from time to time when it comes to making friends. I meet people at events and we friend each other on Facebook, but then we never really hang out. And my schedule is partially to blame for that because I’m still over booking myself a bit (I think life will calm down after Thanksgiving).

But lately I’ve been in opportunities to not only meet lots of amazing people, but to get to spend time with them and build real friendships. The SAG-AFTRA Convention is the perfect example of this.

I spent so many hours with my fellow delegates. A lot of the time, we were exhausted from long hours and lack of sleep which helps to put everyone’s guards down and make friendships much easier to start. I did know some of my fellow delegates going into the convention, but through the convention (and the fun of the gala), I got to know so many more people and I’m happy that I’m already finding time to hang out with some of them!

I had the chance to work with one of my fellow delegates when I did coaching for my audition I had recently. While I had an hour of coaching, I was really there for like 4 hours because we were having too much fun hanging out and getting to know each other.

I’ve seen delegates at the SAG-AFTRA Film Society screenings I’ve gone to lately. I’m sure we’ve seen each other at the screenings in the past (most of us go to as many screenings as we can), but since I didn’t really know them until the convention, I never really paid attention. Now, we are all running into each other at each screening and usually we also end up trying to sit together. It’s nice to have friends at the screenings with me since we usually have to wait in line to go into the screening (sometimes for a pretty long time) and there is always time to kill once we are in the theater. And while I’m always prepared with a book, I’d rather use that time to be social.

With it being the start of awards season, I’ve got a lot of screenings coming up. And I’m making a serious effort to try to reach out to my friends (old and new) to come and be my plus one for them. For the past few screenings, I’ve been able to bring a different friend to each one and that’s been pretty awesome. I get that one on one time with a friend while we are waiting for the movie to catch up on life and be silly. And that’s something that I know I don’t do often enough.

I know I always say this, but I have to make my social life a bit more of a priority in my life. These screenings are helping, but once screening season is done I don’t want to neglect my friendships. I don’t know what I’ll do to fix this problem. Maybe I should start going out after I do my late afternoon workouts, but usually by the time I get home all I want to do is shower, eat dinner, and be lazy on the couch for a bit before going to bed. My weekends are getting a bit packed with work obligations until Thanksgiving (seriously, I don’t have a free weekend until after then) but I’m going to start trying to schedule things with friends more in advance so it’s on my calendar and becomes a priority.

Even though I always have the concern about not spending enough time with my friends, I’m glad that right now it’s not a huge issue and that I’m aware of it enough that hopefully I can make sure that it’s not an issue in the future.

Going Out While Exhausted (or The Opposite Of Fear Of Missing Out)

After all of the ENMNCon excitement, I was hoping to have a bit of a lazy week the next week. Sadly, that wasn’t going to be the case for me. Of course I knew I’d have work to catch up on and errands to do (those few days of ENMNCon seemed to take up my entire time so I didn’t do a lot of housework), but I was hoping to keep my evenings as free as possible.

I knew that there was an event that the podcast I work for was co-sponsoring on Monday evening and I had it on my calendar for a while. And I figured that somehow I wouldn’t be exhausted that evening to attend so I told everyone I would be there.

Of course, Monday comes around and the day is just beyond full for me. I was exhausted from the weekend, I had a workout in the morning, and then a doctor’s appointment in the afternoon. I had every intention of going to the party, but I didn’t think I was going to make it.

After a team phone call with everyone from the podcast (we have those every other week) I realized that everyone else was going to be there and I should try too.

I got out of my junky clothes (I don’t care to dress up to go to the doctor so I wore workout clothes) and put on some jeans and a cute top. I also tried my best to do some makeup and make my hair look better and then headed out the door.

The event was in Chinatown, so it wasn’t too far of a drive for me. I was a bit lost because the venue was on a pedestrian only street and wasn’t sure at first where to park, but I managed to find a meter (it was free at night!) and headed inside.

As soon as I got in, I knew that this was going to be a quick appearance for me. The noise and lights were bothering me and I was so tired that I wasn’t feeling very social.

I saw a bunch of my friends and managed to say hi to them all, but after about 30 minutes I was getting ready to go. Of course, I stayed long enough to be in an awesome photo with the entire podcast team!

IAP Team

As soon as we took the photo, I said my goodbyes to everyone and headed back home. Before I knew it, I was in my pjs on my couch catching up on my DVR (there were a lot of shows I hadn’t had a chance to watch).

I’ve written before about fear of missing out and I was scared that if I hadn’t gone to this party that I would feel that way. But I almost had the opposite reaction. I am glad that I went and said hi to my friends, but I almost regretted spending that time driving there when I knew I wasn’t going to be all in for the event.

It’s hard to say no to social obligations. And because I had told people for a while that I’d be going, I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. But I know that if I hadn’t been there and had explained that I was exhausted from a 3 day conference that people would have totally understood. But I also don’t want to let people down. It’s a struggle of balancing obligations and needs that I need to work out.

And I know that I’m going to have to focus on that struggle a lot over the next few weeks. I’ve got a lot on my plate right now and there are weeks that I’m getting very close to overbooked. I’m going to take some time between things this weekend and take a good look at my schedule. I’m going to have to decline some things that I’ve wanted to go to in order to keep myself sane. I have to focus on what’s most important in my life right now (I’m thinking day jobs, workouts, and doctors appointments) and then add in what else I can when it fits.

Hopefully that focus will allow me to stay rested and at my best self over these next few crazy weeks!

Playing Catchup (or Recovering From The Beginning Of The Week)

After all the excitement on Monday, I’ve pretty much spent the rest of my week making up for everything I didn’t do because I was focused on both the live recording and after party.

Obviously, the first thing I had to make up were work hours. Fortunately, my box office job doesn’t have Monday hours so I didn’t have to worry about that. But with my research job, I had to make sure to work a few extra hours to make up for not doing anything Monday (or over the weekend).

The research job is still trucking along. Things are a bit slower than I’d like, but my boss is totally understanding. I think that once I get all the initial work done and it’s more about maintaining the data I’ve collected, things will be better. Now it just seems like a race against time.

Even though I got through all the festivities of Monday, the podcast team still needed to meet up on Tuesday. We met at Lyfe Kitchen and I think it’s pretty obvious that we all were pretty hungry going into the meeting.

Lyfe Kitchen

Some of the meeting was a debriefing of how things went the night before and what we could improve on for the next event. I think most of us were on the same page about things, but I think that I also kept some of the issues I encountered too quiet as nobody else on the team knew about them. In a way that is good because I was the only person stressed out. But I’m glad I got to share them because we can make changes to prevent those issues from happening again.

We also discussed the 300th episode. Yes, it’s about 2 years away. But I’ve got to top what we did for the 200th so I’m getting a head start. I can’t share any of the ideas we’ve been discussing just yet. But if things go the way we want them to, in 2 years you will all want to come join us for our 300th episode!

I also had a friend of mine ask me to write them a letter of recommendation for Women In Film! That was such an honor. I took my time and wrote several drafts before sending it to her to submit with her application. I’ve asked for letters of recommendations plenty of times. But I never knew until know how stressful it could be! Maybe I’m just so stressed because I know how great Women In Film is and I want all my amazing friends to be a part of it as well. I’ve got my fingers crossed that she gets in!

Finally, I just had to catch up on working on my happiness checklist. I’ve been neglecting some of the things that make me happy lately (although other things have been happening almost daily). I see my therapist in just over 2 weeks and I’m planning on bringing my checklist for him to see. I want him to see that I made a real effort in the homework he gave to me to do for 3 months. I really am taking this seriously and if I want to get my dosage of Vyvanse adjusted (which I’m pretty sure it needs to be), I have to work on the mental aspect of my recovery and not just getting the “quick fix” medication.

That’s a lot of work to get done on an already crazy week! I’m glad that this weekend is a holiday weekend and I get tomorrow off from my box office job!

Productive One Way And Slacking In Another (or Working On Finding Time)

Ok, I might have been over-scheduling myself lately.

Only a few weeks ago I was trying to find ways to fill time in my life. I only had one main day job and I was hoping to find something to do while doing my job to keep me busy between customers. And I wasn’t doing as much as I wanted toward my acting career.

Then I got a new day job and found a wonderful online acting class. And sadly, I think I took too much on at one time.

Obviously, the priorities in my life are work and my health. So I need to make sure I work all the hours I need to each day. That’s pretty easy for my box office job since I’ve been doing that for almost a year now and they are set hours (although occasionally I work early hours to make up for hours I might miss due to auditions or other conflicts).

The new day job is much more fluid in terms of when I work. I’m supposed to mainly work during standard business hours, but that’s not necessary because much of the work I’m researching is online. And I’m getting ok with working both jobs at once. It’s not easy, but I’m finding ways to work between 3-4 hours each day during a 5 hour shift at my day job.

And I think it’s pretty obvious by my weekly workout posts that I’m not having trouble fitting in my 3-4 workouts each week. I schedule them up to a month in advance and having them on my calendar (and having friends in my class who I look forward to seeing each time) has helped make workouts a habit and not a chore.

But with all that productivity, my online acting class has slipped. As I’m typing this post, I’ve only completed the first class. That’s exactly what I had done last week when I blogged about it. My plan was to try to watch a class each night. But on nights that I work out, by the time I’m home and showered all I want to do is read or watch tv for a bit before bed. And on days I’m not working out, I’ve been scheduling lots of things to do.

I know that I need to schedule this class the way I schedule work and my workouts. I need to find a good time a few times a week that I can set aside about an hour to watch the class and work on the homework.

The problem is finding consistent time available. Maybe I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself because I want to keep up with everyone who started the same time I did. Dustin Hoffman will be doing office hours and critiques of online scene reads soon and if I was on schedule with the class I would have those ready for the due date. But where I am right now, I’m not. And I don’t want to rush doing them because hopefully there will be another office hours/critique time in the future and I’ll have more time to prepare and make sure that I submit the best video I can.

Adding so much to my schedule at one time is very overwhelming for me. It’s not the amount of hours it requires, it’s just changing my schedule so much at one time when it’s been like the way it was for almost a year. It’s almost like when I was on temporary unemployment at my old box office job. It took a week or two to adjust to the change in schedule.

For now, I’m hoping to find time once or twice a week to work on the online class. If I don’t do that, I’m not going to be so tough on myself. Yes, it would be best if I could do the class sooner rather than later. But if I do it this month or next month won’t make or break my career. And hopefully within a week or so the 2 day job life will feel like normal and I’ll find that hour or so each day where I can focus on the class.

I have to just keep reminding myself that this class (like life, fitness, my weight loss journey, and recovery from my eating disorder) is a marathon and not a sprint. Eventually I will complete it and I will be proud of myself for sticking with it and following through.

Social Days Off (or Finally Seeing Some Friends)

While I did try to be social while doing the cleanse, I spent most of my free time at home. It’s not a big deal to not go out and eat (or to eat nothing at a restaurant), but I just didn’t want to have to deal with temptations.

And while I’ve had some fun social events since the cleanse, I hadn’t just spent time with my friends in a casual and chill setting. I’ve been busy with going out-of-town and then with the film festival. So this past weekend was focused on seeing my friends.

I got to hang out with my friend Rayshell on Saturday night. We hadn’t seen each other in person in a while (we’ve been missing our monthly happy hour hangouts due to our crazy schedules), so it was great to just catch up. We both said that we needed to figure out when we would start our happy hour hangouts again, but I think we probably won’t be able to do that until at least next month (by then my life might get calm again).

And on Sunday, I got to see my friend Alex! This marks 3 times in a year that I have gotten to see her (since my trip to NYC was almost exactly a year ago now). Alex is in town for work but she had some free time on Sunday to get together for dinner.

We, along with our friend Meredith, met up at a restaurant in West Hollywood (kind of in between where I live and where Meredith lives and Alex was staying). It was just a fun random dinner, and that was perfect.

I’ve missed having these casual get togethers with friends. I didn’t realize how much I missed them until this weekend. But it reminded me that I do need to take time out for my friends every once in a while. Right now it’s tough with work, but my temp job can only last another week and a half max (the event I’m calling for happens next week). Once that is done, my Tuesday and Thursday evenings will be free for social events again.

And while working on my weight loss and fitness is a super high priority in my life right now, I need to remember to take time out for my friends. I have the most incredible, strong, awesome, and inspiring friends. I’m so lucky that they have all chosen me to be their friend. And while I know that time apart isn’t going to make them stop being my friends, being around them all gives me a boost.

And the more positivity boosts that I can get in my life, the better.

Not Loving Early Workouts (or Trying My Best)

Between my weekend trip, my new temp job, and the film festival; last week was a very limited week for workouts. I knew that getting 4 workouts during the week would pretty much be impossible. But I was going to do whatever I had to do to get my 3 workouts in.

Doing whatever I had to do included getting up early (for me) and working out at 7:30am twice.

Tuesday was my first 7:30am workout. It was not easy waking up. My flight home had been delayed over 2 hours and I was home much later than expected. But I managed to wake up and get my butt to Orangetheory in time for the 7:30am class.

7:30am Orangetheory

It was one of the toughest workouts for me since my very first workout. First of all, my last workout had been on the past Wednesday. So it had almost been a week since I worked out. I haven’t taken that much time off between workouts since I started in the summer. So my body was feeling a little weak and things were harder than I remembered.

The second reason that the workout was tough for me is for some reason I could not get my heart rate up. I’m used to completing the 12-20 minutes in the orange zone each workout. But for some reason in this class, I barely got a minute. And I was constantly trying to push myself to get my heart rate in the orange zone, so that was making me more tired as well. Eventually I had to realize that it just wasn’t going to happen.

Wednesday’s workout was during my usual workout time in the afternoon. Overall, it was a great class and even though I had worked out the day before, my body was feeling much better than in Tuesday’s workout.

And it was a very rowing heavy workout. The rower is still tough for me and I have issues using enough power in my legs and not in my arms. But I’m working on it. And in this workout, we had to row 1200 meters two separate times. 1200 meters is a lot for me. I like the sprints like 100 or 200 meters because I can get them done quickly. But 1200 meters takes about 6 minutes of constant rowing.

Knowing that I had a long row, I set a goal in my head to take my time and to finish it without stopping. I was the last rower to finish each time, but I was able to do both sets of 1200 meters without taking any breaks!

I felt amazing after doing that! My legs might have felt like jello, but I was pretty darn happy with myself for not having to stop during 6 minutes of rowing!

And because of my limited time options for working out, I was back at Orangetheory on Thursday morning (there was about 14 hours between my Wednesday and Thursday workout). I’ve never had such a small turnaround time between workouts. I’ve also rarely done 3 workouts in a row. And of course I had the issues at the beginning of the week with my heart rate not wanting to go up in an early workout.

Sadly, my second 7:30am workout of the week was similar to the first. I struggled due to being tired from 3 workouts in a row. And my heart rate never made it into the orange zone. But I tried my best and even if it wasn’t a wonderful workout, some workout is better than no workout.

I have no idea why I can’t get my heart rate up for early morning workouts. I don’t have this issue when I work out at 9:30am. I don’t plan on doing 7:30am workouts regularly, so I don’t know if I’ll ever figure out the answer to this problem.

But at least even with all the craziness I have going on in my life, I was able to get my 3 workouts done.

“Only” 3 Workouts This Week (or Testing A Pre-Work Workout Time)

This week I only got 3 workouts in. I wish I could have gotten more workouts done, and it could have been accomplished. But I can’t have regrets in getting 3 workouts done when before Orangetheory I could only strive to get 3 workouts in in a week.

I thought I was starting my new temp job this past week, and that didn’t happen (I have no clue if it will happen this week either). But I planned my workouts with the assumption that I would be working the new job this week, so that restricted things a bit for me.

Monday was going to be a normal workout time. But then I realized that if I moved my workout to earlier, I could go to San Diego for the day. So I decided to sign up for a class at 7:30am. That’s so early for me! But I realized that unless I go to an earlier class, that is the only class time I could do if I wanted to do a workout before I start work (I will have to do that in about a week).

My body wasn’t really awake when I arrived to the workout, but I quickly perked up when I had to do my first push pace on the treadmill. I wasn’t in as much pain as I thought I would be, so that’s a big positive. And I think that my workout report proves that I kicked some butt in that early class!

IMG_4688

It’s not my highest calorie burn, but it’s up there!

As far as timing it out for a before work workout, it worked perfectly. But then I realized that there was no traffic on the freeway when I was going to the class and home from the class. I forgot that Monday was a holiday so many people weren’t going to work. So I don’t know exactly how it will work out when there is traffic, but worst case I start my work shift with wet hair. That’s not the worst thing.

Wednesday was my usual class time and it felt much more normal to me than my early workout. But changing things up for me is a good thing and I know I probably need to do it more often.

Friday was a challenging day. I had a bit of an incident at my house on Thursday evening and Friday morning (more about that in another blog post) and I was dealing with a lot of shoulder, back, and arm pain. My upper body is usually where I can push myself more and more since I’m so limited in my hip movement. But this class I had to try to go more with my lower body to ease things on my upper body.

I did step ups onto the bench which is something I usually avoid. They hurt quite a bit, but I pushed through them and fortunately that section of the workout was done pretty quickly. And I think I didn’t feel as much pain in my hips as usual because I was dealing with pain in my upper body. So my mind must have been confused with all that extra pain in parts of my body that don’t usually hurt.

This week will be another 3 workout week. And the week after will probably have to be the same. I’m trying not to get frustrated because there are things that I’ve been looking forward to that are preventing me from working out. And I have to be ok with 3 workouts without thinking that I need to do more. Plus, in a few weeks my life will be calmer and I can get back to seeing how often I can have a 4 workout week.

But for now, when I “only ” have 3 workouts, I need to make sure I push myself as much as possible to get the most out of those 3 workouts.

Waiting On The Wait List (or The Text That Made My Week)

I think it’s pretty obvious now that I’m very focused on making sure that my workouts happen each week. While I’ve set my minimum number of workouts a week at 3, I really strive for 4. Especially since there are some weeks coming up soon where 4 workouts will be impossible. And if I want to reach my goal of 175 workouts this year, I have to spend about half the year working out 4 times a week.

This week was one of those weeks where I thought I could get in 4 workouts. Then, I found out about an event on Friday (more about that tomorrow) that I wasn’t going to miss. And since I thought I was starting my temp job this week, I didn’t know when else I could workout.

Then, I found out that the start date for the temp job was pushed back so I tried to get into a Thursday class. Unfortunately, there was already a waitlist and no guarantee that I would get in. I tried to think positively, but I was worried that I wouldn’t get in. I even wore my workout clothes that day not knowing whether or not I would get in my workout.

But then, I got this text and had a super enthusiastic response to it.

OTF Text

Thank goodness I got into class! I needed the workout after the crazy week I had at work and I love that my workouts are now the way I deal with stress (instead of food).

All my workouts this week went really well. I’m having some increasing hip issues with lifting my legs during step ups on the benches, but there are modifications that I can do. And I have an appointment with a hip surgeon in a few weeks, so I’ll go over that problem with them.

My favorite workout this week was on Saturday. Since it was Valentine’s Day, it was a partner workout. Partner workouts are great because I feel extra motivated to get through my sets quickly. My partner is depending on me. The cardio portion of the partner workout was a run/row. I ended up spending more than half of my time on the rower. I’m getting much better at the rower (I rowed 750 meters and 1000 meters without stopping earlier this week). While my technique isn’t perfect because of my hip, I’m definitely a better rower now than I was even a month ago.

The strength portion of the partner workout was half floor work and half strap work. When one of us was on the strap, the other was on the floor. The moves were all pretty tough, but I had an amazing partner (who I only met for the first time in class when we had to partner up). We got through the entire rotation of work twice, and I don’t believe that any other team was able to do so.

While I did get my 4 workouts in this week, the next 2 or 3 weeks will have to be 3 workout weeks. I’ve got lots of things coming up that will affect when I can work out (like being out-of-town or running my film festival). It actually making me a bit mad that I won’t be able to do 4 workouts in a week for a while, but I’m trying to go easy on myself. And I am trying a super early (at least for me) workout today so if that works out well for me, I might add that in to some of the weeks where I can only do 3 afternoon or weekend workouts.

As always, I’ll update you next week how this new plan goes!

My 2nd MVP (or Kicking Butt In My Workouts)

Another 4 workout week done! I’m not sure if the rest of this month I’ll be able to keep doing 4 workouts a week. But that’s due to scheduling issues and not my motivation or how I’m feeling.

I had another morning workout on Monday because of my audition. I’m really trying to love the morning workouts, but I’m still not used to them. And because of scheduling issues, I can’t take a later morning class on those days that I need the morning workout.

I have similar dizziness issues at all my workouts, they are just more extreme in the mornings. And I’m starting to wonder if this is an inner ear issue and not a food related issue (although I know taking my painkillers on a not completely full stomach isn’t helping). I’ve been having issues since I was sick last year, and part of that sickness was an ear infection. So I’m thinking that when I feel dizzy (which usually happens when I switch from a sitting/laying down workout to a standing one) is the result of that ear infection. Sadly, there’s nothing really that I can do about it. I just have to accept it.

Wednesdays workout was pretty awesome! The coach, JZ, named me the MVP of class! I got my MVP status because I let her know that we were already at a push pace when she said that we needed to move on to a push pace. So even though it was a mental accomplishment and not a physical one that got me my MVP status, I’m just as happy with it!

JZ MVP

Friday was a class that truly challenged me. Normally, I find leg/hip movements to be challenging. I’m pretty good with arm movements. But in this workout, we had a block where we had to do tons of tricep dips (12-16 each time) and then walk out push ups (2-6 each time). Holy moly my arms and shoulders were sore after that block! Also, since my workout gloves don’t cover the bottom of my hands, my hands were killing me! Fortunately I didn’t get any blisters or cuts on my hands, but they looked pretty bruised for a day after the workout.

Saturday was my favorite workout of the week. It was a tornado style class, which means that we moved around from treadmill to rower to floor work a lot during the class. Each block was about 2 minutes long and there were 5 rotations (or 15 blocks). I love this type of workout because when I’m getting tired on the treadmill, rower, or floor; it’s already time to move on to the next block.

But just because those blocks were short, it didn’t make them easy. Almost the entire time on the treadmill was at a push or all-out pace (or 10-15% incline for me) and 2 minutes of rowing is pretty tiring! Even the 2 minute floor blocks were tough. 2 minutes of burpees or push-ups is a lot! I did have to make more breaks that I would have liked to, but I still got it all done!

This coming week, I know I’ll have a morning workout today. And I’m debating about adding another morning workout on Thursday because it turns out I can’t make my Friday afternoon class and I’m supposed to start my temp job this week. If I don’t, I can do a Thursday afternoon class and I’d be super happy with that.

I know that I’ve said this before, but knowing that I’m making my workouts a priority in my life is such a big step for me and I’m proud of myself for the commitment that I’ve made to Orangetheory. It’s a little tough when my schedule is getting crazy, but I know that this craziness won’t last long and I can find more workout times soon.

Being On Hold With A Job (or Not Quite A Quitter)

I’ve talked about my day job situation a lot in the past. I’ve got my main day job doing the box office work and that’s the only one with regular hours. Everything else is as-needed status and nobody seems to need me right now.

For babysitting, personal organizing, and substitute teaching; I don’t mind that I don’t work right now. I know that clients for babysitting and personal organizing will come and it’s a situation where I am my own boss and I don’t feel guilty when I’m not working.

And for substitute teaching, I’ve spoken to my boss there about how right now I don’t have the time to work but I wanted to stay on the roster since they aren’t hiring. I’d be scared if I left the roster and then needed the work and couldn’t get my job back. So I’ve been honest and they know my situation. That’s fine with me.

But for my data entry/survey coding job it’s been a different situation. I worked a lot for them at first, but once I started my box office job, I could no longer do graveyard shifts (or I could, but I found out that my body does require sleep so I don’t want to do them). And while I thought at first I could do the work from home in between my customers for the box office job, I never knew what to list as my availability. I didn’t want to say that I was available the entire time because they might assign me a job that takes 5 hours when I only have 3 hours in chunks.

And because my availability was so limited, the company wasn’t using me for work. In the past few months, I worked about 2 or 3 hours for them. And while some money is better than no money, I felt like I was leading the company on.

So yesterday, I sent an email to my 2 bosses at that job. I explained my situation and gave them the two options that seemed right to me. Either they could keep me on as an employee and understand that I have extremely limited availability and perhaps one day that would change and they could use me again. Or we could end our work relationship.

I don’t want to quit, but at the same time I felt so guilty about not being honest to my bosses about my situation. I don’t want to quit, but I would understand if they didn’t want to keep someone on staff who couldn’t work as much as they would like.

I heard back from one of my bosses within an hour of sending the email. She thanked me for my honesty and decided that she’d like to keep me on in case my schedule changes and I become more available for her.

I’m so grateful that that is what her decision was. It was exactly what I was hoping for by sending that email. I haven’t heard back from my other boss, but he is the one who runs the graveyard shifts and technically I’m only on that schedule as a backup (my main job is the work from home part).

I still need to find something else to do, but at least some of my guilt that was associated with this job is gone. And hopefully with less guilt, I will be able to focus more on finding the perfect job to fit into my schedule.