I made my word of the year “bold” and I’m working on applying that to all aspects of my life. It’s easier said than done, but I’m trying.
This week, I had my second audition of the year.
My first audition of the year didn’t go so great. I was very nervous because the type of project that it was had changed without my agents being notified and it was unclear if the project was union or not (as a union member, I can only work on union projects). I thought about backing out because even though someone told me the project was union, there were many signs that it wasn’t. But I went in anyway and I’m guess that I didn’t book it since I haven’t heard back (I’m almost relieved I didn’t book it because if it ended up being non-union I would have had to turn it down).
So that first audition didn’t give me a great opportunity to be bold. But this second audition was totally different.
First of all, the audition was for a tv show that is very popular and well-known. I’ve actually auditioned for this show before, so it was a very good sign that I was brought in again. When you don’t necessarily book the role but you book the office, this is what it is like. They will continue to bring you in for parts that you are right for because the reason you didn’t get the job before wasn’t due to your acting skills.
The next thing that made this audition different was that there were lines (the first audition was for a print campaign so no lines). It was a small co-star part with only 2 lines, but I was determined to be bold with my choices without going over the top.
I always try to make a strong choice in my auditions, but I chicken out a lot. I’ve heard horror stories from casting directors about actors who go way over the top for 1 or 2 line parts and I never want to be one of those stories. So I tend to end up a little muted in my choice when I eventually get into the audition room (it’s also a little nerve-racking being in the audition room).
This time, I felt really good with the choice that I made. I thought it was funny without being too crazy or attention grabbing. And when I walked into the audition room, I did it exactly how I wanted to. I did get a redirect in the room to do a slightly different physical movement, but I was not told to change how I read the lines. So I think the casting director liked what I did.
While I would love to book this part, I really don’t care about that now. Because when I left the audition room, I felt amazing! I didn’t have any regrets about what I did and I’m not obsessing about how I could have done it better. I’m completely satisfied with my read in the room.
I’ve never been able to completely feel this way before. I always wish I had done something more/better/bigger/stronger. But right now, I know I did exactly what I wanted and hopefully what I did is exactly what the show wanted. And if not, that’s ok with me.