Category Archives: Health

Steps Forward And Back (or Working On Frustration)

My week of workouts were both good and frustrating. I’ve had this injury for too long (in my opinion) and whenever I feel like I take a step forward I end up taking a step back too.

The next Dri-Tri is this coming Sunday. I really thought I’d be better by then so I can do it, but I’m having some serious hesitations too.

My weight work is doing pretty well. I’m noticing that my balance is getting better and my core got significantly stronger recently. I’m wondering if compensating for my injured calf helped to strengthen my core. Whatever it was, I was finding my weight work to feel easier and more natural this week. This been a while since I’ve had a step forward like that and I’m pretty happy about it. My weakest part are still my arms/shoulders, but I think I can work on those.

My rowing also had some strides forward this week. I’m getting my wattage closer to what it was pre-injury and I’m doing well in my sprints. The longer distances are still my struggle. And that concerns me as far as the Dri-Tri goes. That has a 2,000 meter row. The longest distance I’ve done post-injury has been 1,000 meters (I’ve done 1,600 meters pre-injury). And with that 1,000 meter row I did have to take a bunch of breaks. I’m sure I could do 2,000 meters, just not sure how many breaks or how long it would take me.

But as it’s been lately, my biggest concern is the treadmill. I’m getting closer and closer to my pre-injury speed, but I’m not even close to where I was on incline. I’ve done a few quickie segments at 3.5 miles an hour, but I’m pretty much sticking to 3.3 or 3.4 for now. I’m feeling the muscle in my calf straining so I know I can’t do much more. And for inclines I’m doing pushes at 6% and all outs at 8% or the occasional 10%. I’m not sure if I’d have to do inclines for the Dri-Tri, but if I do those might disqualify me.

I’ve got a few more days to figure out if I’m going to do the event or not. I’m going to ask the staff/trainers about my concerns and try to make the best unemotional choice for me. As much as I really want to do it, I’m worried that pushing myself that hard is going to either make my recovery take longer or possibly even tear the muscle again.

I find it so odd that this injury is frustrating me as much as it is. My hip issues have been an ongoing problem for about 10 years now. And even though I know I need surgeries to correct them still, I put up with it and know that it is what it is. Now I have an issue that is going to be better without medical intervention and in the somewhat near future and I’m beyond impatient and annoyed with my progress. You’d think that I’d be more annoyed with an almost permanent issue than a temporary one.

I’m working really hard at being patient and knowing that this will be a memory and not an issue soon. And there will be more Dri-Tris next year, so this won’t be my last opportunity to do one. I just really had my heart set on doing the one last month (which I skipped due to the injury) and the one this month. I figured I’d be better by now, but I guess I was wrong.

But if things turn for the better, you’ll see a post from me next week recapping the Dri-Tri!

People Don’t Get It (or My Comment On The Dear Fat People Video)

Some of you may have seen a video online called “Dear Fat People”. I’m not going to link to it because I don’t want to necessarily promote it (if you want to watch it, it’s pretty easy to find). I actually had not seen the video until yesterday and I had some pretty strong feelings about it.

First of all, I guess the fat people video is supposed to be funny. The woman in it is a comedian who thought that it would be seen as a joke (or at least that’s what I’ve read in interviews). In the video, she claims that fat shaming isn’t a thing. People who are fat should be shamed so they can change themselves. She thinks that fat people are fat because they don’t know that it’s wrong and don’t know how to fix it. She tells a story about a family who are all overweight (she says that they smell like sausages and sweat out Crisco) and are on a plane with her. According to her, she has to hold back the son’s fat while he is sitting next to her so it doesn’t cover her. She goes on and on about more stories about how fat people don’t realize that they need to change because they are all dying off from fat diseases. She does say that this video isn’t about anyone who may have a medical condition who makes them fat.

I have so many issues with this video that I don’t even know where to start.

First of all, her disclaimer that this video isn’t about anyone with a medical condition is stupid. How does she know that the people she discusses in her video don’t have a medical condition? While I don’t have a medical condition that causes my weight issues (beyond my eating disorder) I do have an invisible disability with my hip issues. I get a pass when I go to Disneyland that lets me sit off to the side when I wait for rides. I still wait just as long as anyone in line, but I don’t have to stand in line while waiting. When it’s my turn, I get to go onto the ride. Many guests think this is a front of the line/instant access pass. It did used to be that way, but too many people were faking injuries to get it. Back then, the disability line for many rides were longer than the regular line (I once waited 3 hours for Space Mountain when the regular line was 1 because I need to use the accessible coaster car so I can get into the ride safely). Now that it’s not considered as desirable to people who fake their injuries, the wait times are similar or maybe a little longer than the regular line. With this pass, I’ve had some people shame me for using it. I’ve had people tell me that if I wasn’t so fat that I wouldn’t have to cheat the system. I’ve been called names. I’ve been pointed out and laughed at. In the beginning, I used to carry around the pictures from my surgery to call out people, but now I just don’t care. But it does make me mad when someone assumes that someone doesn’t have a disability because they can’t see it.

I also find the story of the airplane completely unbelievable. If someone doesn’t fit into one seat and will be encroaching onto another seat, the airlines are pretty quick to force that person to buy a second seat so they have enough room. The guideline is that the armrest needs to go completely down without any spillage for the airline to agree that you take up one seat (yes, I’ve been called out on this and it was stupid because there was more than enough room for the armrests to go down). If this woman really had to hold back the fat of someone to enjoy their flight, I’m sure that the other passenger would have been asked to buy a second seat. I’m sure that either this story is made up or exaggerated for theatrical purposes.

Finally, the person in the video believes that people who are fat don’t know what to do to fix it. While this might be true for some overweight people, the majority of the people I know with weight issues know more about health, nutrition, diet, and exercise than almost anyone else. This is because most of us have tried every diet under the sun to lose the weight and get healthy. I can tell you the calorie counts of so many different foods. If you tell me your weight, I can guess how many calories you will burn if you walk or run a mile with pretty decent accuracy. I know what drinks have added sugars, fake sugars, or have a base other than water. I probably could teach a class on nutrition by this point. And I think that most of you who are regular readers would agree that I am working pretty darn hard on my fitness and know what I need to do. If I didn’t have my eating disorder, I’d probably be a size 2 now.

To anyone who watched that video and was embarrassed about your weight issues, there’s no need to be. Everyone has their struggles in life. Those of us with weight issues just have our issues on the outside where everyone can see them. If you are happy at the size that you are and your doctors say that you are healthy, then stay exactly how you are. If you want to lose weight, do it. There are plenty of great and healthy ways to lose weight and become the best that you can be.

And if you watched that video and felt like that people who are overweight should be shamed, you should know that shaming someone isn’t probably going to motivate them. For people with eating disorders, it will probably make the problem worse. If there is someone you love who is an unhealthy weight and you are worried about them, try to let them bring the issue to you. It’s embarrassing to discuss these things at times and if someone else brings it up they might not want to talk about it and then keep it buried inside even longer.

I’m aware that this is a rant about a silly video online. But if I had seen that video online maybe 5 years ago, I would have had a very different reaction to it. I see it as silly now, but then I would have been devastated and would have wanted to avoid the public in fear of random people trying to shame or taunt me because of my weight.

But now I know that no matter how skinny or fat I might be, I’m still the same fabulous person. People love me for who I am and not what I look like. And anyone who thinks differently isn’t someone who I need in my life.

Blog

Transitioning Back To Normal (or Going Slow)

This week of workouts was all about testing my limits with my injury. I knew that this week would mark when I could attempt going on the treadmill again, but I wasn’t sure if I was going to push it.

I spent Monday on the bike again. I’m not a huge fan of working out on the bike, but it’s not the worst thing. I struggled again with getting my heart rate up because when I’m bent forward holding on the handlebars my heart rate monitor isn’t flush against my chest. But I managed and did what I could (even if the screen wasn’t necessarily showing my accurate heart rate).

After my workout on Monday, I spend the day at Disneyland. I did wear a compression bandage, but I did a lot of walking that day. I was probably close to 4 miles of walking over the entire day, which is the most walking I’ve really done since the injury. I was having issues with pain from time to time, but it wasn’t unbearable. So I decided that I would test myself on the treadmill on Wednesday.

Fortunately, my new compression sleeves arrived before my Wednesday workout. I got a set of them (one for each leg), but I went to my workout just wearing one on my injured leg.

Compression Sleeve

Wednesday’s workout ended up being the perfect workout to test myself on. It was a partner workout and my treadmill segments were under 4 minutes each time. I felt great! I was going slow, but I was still going faster than I had when I started at Orangetheory. I slowly increased my speed, but I never got to what I was at pre-injury. I’m a little concerned since I have a 5K in about 2 months, but hopefully I can get myself up to my previous speed in that time.

Friday’s workout made me realize that I’m still limited in what I can do. I did try wearing the sleeves on both legs after a recommendation from one of my coaches, but I’m not sure if I like that yet or not (I’ll probably try it another time or two before I decide). But on Friday, all the treadmill blocks were one after another. So I had about 30 minutes straight on the treadmill.

I did ok with that. I had to decrease my speed compared to Wednesday halfway through the treadmill time because I was starting to hurt, but with doing that and taking some breaks I was able to finish the treadmill segment on the treadmill and not taking time on the bike.

Obviously, I’m not fully healed yet. I still have some pain when I’m walking regularly around my house or while doing errands. And on the treadmill I had a few scary moments with a quick intense pain but those went away quickly and I don’t feel any additional tears in my calf. I really want to get back to normal, but I need to learn to be patient with myself. It’s not easy when my focus for so long was to push myself, to go faster, and to get higher inclines.

My plan is to stay on the treadmill from now on unless there is a pain that is unbearable or really scares me. I know I need to work on my endurance and muscle strength and hopefully I can spend the next few months just focusing on getting myself to where I was last month and not where I thought I’d be.

Trying To Be Patient (or Did I Re-Injury Myself?)

This torn calf is really a pain in the butt! I’ve been doing ok with my workouts because I’m super cautious, but I’m having a lot of trouble outside of Orangetheory.

While I’m at home, I’ve been trying to keep my leg elevated when I can and icing it throughout the day. I’m also wrapping it up in a bandage for compression a good majority of the day (I have to take it off to shower, sleep, and when my skin starts to get irritated). I’ve also bought some compression sleeves for my legs that I can start wearing at home or while working out to help.

But even with being that careful, several times a day I have a pain that is very similar to what the original injury felt like. I’m not seeing any additional bruising so I don’t think I’m tearing my muscle more, but it’s definitely not good. Every time it happens, I have a quick moment of panic and then try to just be more carefully with how I’m walking.

I do feel progress and that I’m getting better. And it’s only been a week since the injury and it says online that it can take a month to recover. I’m just not patient with things like this.

I was the same way with my hip surgery. After my surgery I had to be on crutches for 6 weeks (I had 2 weeks on crutches before surgery). For the first month after surgery, I wasn’t able to go without my crutches. Those last 2 weeks, however, I was rarely using them inside my house (I’d still use them outside where the ground wasn’t as even). I felt so guilty about doing that when I did, but a couple of years after my surgery the rules were changes where patients only had to spend 4 weeks after surgery on crutches. So I technically did was the future policy would be.

I know that many people with a torn calf would be on crutches while it heals, but since others have not done so and have been able to recover I’m ok with no using them. I’d rather try to push myself a little bit every day instead of doing nothing for a few weeks and then trying to rebuild my strength.

Until I don’t have any pain left I’m going to stay with restrictions. I won’t walk unless I have to (it makes getting 10,000 steps in a day tough but I’m just making it each day) and I’m only going to use the bike for cardio in my workouts. I’ll continue to do the R.I.C.E. method and hopefully in a few weeks I’ll be back to normal.

I know that some people might say that this is a sign that I need to slow down. I don’t see it that way at all. I just see it as a challenge to get past and prove that I don’t have to stop my momentum to get through it.

Workouts With Modifications (or Dealing With A New Injury)

This was an interesting week of workouts for me. I was feeling great from doing 4 workouts the past week and had every intention of doing the same this week. But then everything changed for me.

My Monday workout was fine. I was a bit tired from my birthday fun the night before. I swear that I was sweating out cake during the class. I might have been a bit sluggish, but nothing too extreme. I continued working on increasing my weights and my treadmill speed and felt like I was finally getting into a good groove of taking my workouts to the next level.

Then on Wednesday, my right calf was bugging me all morning. I thought maybe I slept funny because it felt like a bruise or that my calf muscle had been squeezed all night (like a charley horse). I didn’t think too much of it because I figured a workout would help get things stretched out.

I gave the coach for the class a heads up that I was feeling sore, and she said to take it easy. I got on the treadmill to warm up at 3 miles and hour, and after maybe walking for a minute I felt a pop in my muscle and my vision went white.

I was terrified that I did something horrible, but the pain decreased a bit when I stopped walking and my vision returned to normal after a second. So I hopped off the treadmill and went over to the bike for my cardio. I told the coach what happened and she noticed that a bruise was forming on the back of my leg. She said that I needed to not push myself and to not do anything that would hurt me.

I stayed on the bike for the entire cardio portion and really took it easy with the weights. By the end of the workout, the bruise on my left was from my calf down to my foot and I was still in pain when walking.

After consulting with my mom and dad, we figured that I must have torn my calf (the bruise is from the blood from the torn blood vessels). There’s nothing you can really do for this type of injury besides rest, ice, and elevation. So that’s what I did all evening.

Busted Calf

Even with the pain, I knew that I wasn’t going to skip my Friday workout. I decided against doing a 4th workout for the week, but I was going to get my 3 in for sure.

By Friday, the pain was about half as bad as it was on Wednesday. I wrapped a compression bandage on my calf and went to my workout. I tried the treadmill but it was just too painful for the speed that I would need to get my heart rate up. So I moved back to the bike again (guess my birthday bike ride was getting me ready to work out on the bike at Orangetheory). The bike hurt a little, but I was ok. I had lots of issues rowing because I couldn’t bend all the way, so I did little half rows. And I used lighter weights for the lower body work, but that meant that I increased the weights for my upper body.

I’m so used to working out with my hip issues or when I get sick, but this is an entirely different thing. With the type of tear I have, I should be close to 80% better either today or tomorrow and fully recovered in a week or two. This sucks, but it’s not the end of the world. I just have to continue with extra modifications and remembering that it’s all about consistency.

Hopefully this week will be a bit better with my workouts, but if not, I know that soon enough that I will be back to my normal self.

Being Ok At A Beginner Speed (or Not Trying To Impress My Friends)

I had a pretty great week at Orangetheory, even though I was worried it would be tough. I’m still adjusting to my new medication levels (it’s affecting my heart rate more than I expected). But I also hurt my toe over the weekend. I’m not sure what happen, but I looked down and my big toe was black and blue and a chunk of my toenail is missing. I don’t remember hurting it, but obviously I did. I was still able to walk with the injured toe, but it was pretty painful so I knew that I would have to take it a bit easy.

But the problem is, I don’t want to take it easy. I’m finally feeling like I’m making regular progress in my workouts and not trying to stay comfortable at the levels I’m working out at for a long time. I don’t want to go backwards in my progress, but I also know that if I go too hard, it can make an injury worse.

So this week, I tried to focus on making my form as good as I could and not focus on doing things heavier, stronger, faster.

On our Wednesday workout, we had distance rowing to do. One was 500 meters and the other was 1000 meters. I hate long rows. I think that 200 or maybe 250 meters is the most idea distance for me to do. Whenever we have rowing for distance, there is always a guideline for how long it take you to complete it. I can’t remember what the speed is for intermediate or advanced rowers, but I know that for beginner rowers you are supposed to do 100 meters every 30 seconds. I still consider myself a beginning rower because I’m not able to push back with my legs as much as I’d like because of my hip issues. So while I may be fast, my force when I push back on the rower isn’t as much as I’d like.

So for the 1000 meter row, the goal was to do it in under 5 minutes (I think the range was 2:30-5:00, but I can’t be too sure of the lower number). When the distance is shorter, I never really have an issue maintaining an average of 100 meters every 30 seconds. But for the long rows, I always overdo it in the beginning and then tire out and have to take a break at some point. So that screws up my timing. But this time, I decided to focus on maintaining a good speed and not rush and see what I’m able to do.

Those 1000 meters seemed to take forever. It wasn’t fun. I’ll admit that I really didn’t want to finish them. But I really want to do one of the Dri-Tris in the future and those have an even longer rowing distance. So I pushed myself and just told myself to keep going even if I felt like I was going at a snail’s pace.

Finally, I finished and I looked at my time. I managed to finish in 4:54.9! I was the last person in the group to finish the row, but I don’t care at all. I managed to do 1000 meters averaging a speed a bit faster than 100 meters every 30 seconds! That really was a nice positive boost for me.

On Friday, one of my friends came for her first class (she ended up getting a membership so I’m going to get to work out with her on a pretty regular basis!). I do act like a bit of a show-off around new friends coming to class, but since I was hurting I didn’t feel like doing that as much. I just made sure that my friend knew what was going on in the class (it can be a bit overwhelming when it’s your first class) and tried to encourage her as much as possible. She was much better than I am at many of the elements of the workout, but that’s ok. Everyone has their own beginning point and hers is a bit more advanced than mine is.

Instead of trying to be a show-off, I worked on my rowing (it was a run/row day) and seeing if I can keep getting my push pace on the treadmill to be faster. Our rowing distance was based on how long it took us to complete the treadmill segment, so I had extra motivation to go faster on the treadmill.

I usually do about 3.7 miles an hour on the treadmill for push and all out paces. I’ve been experimenting a little with 3.8 miles an hour. On Friday, I also tried doing 3.9 miles an hour. I’m able to do it for about a minute, but I don’t know if I can do it as a push pace for an entire workout (I’m thinking I can do 3.8 miles an hour for an entire workout’s push paces and plan on trying that when my toe is healed).

That workout on Friday was one of the toughest ones that I’ve experienced at Orangetheory. I’m so proud of my friend for kicking butt at it. Another friend who was there joked that my friend wouldn’t get a membership now because of how tough the workout was, but she did get one and is planning on coming with me this Friday for another workout!

I love having friends at my workouts. Some of my usual crew hasn’t been in a workout with me for a while because there are other locations that are closer to their homes (when the West LA location opens I’ll probably switch to there since that’s closer to where I live). But until I change locations, I’m going to keep trying to bring more and more people with me to keep pushing me and to help make my workout hour a friend hour too.

One Bad Hour (or Hating Panic Attacks And My Gallbladder)

I’ve been doing pretty well lately as far as my panic attacks go. I still have my “expected” ones when I’m going to go on a plane or have to go to the dentist. Those aren’t fun, but I’m able to prepare for them the best that I can. But I haven’t had to deal with an unexpected one in a while.

When I saw my therapist, he had asked me about my panic attacks. I had told him that I still had my expected ones, but no unexpected ones. I thought he was asking because it’s in my medical record. But it turns out that Vyvanse can make panic attacks worse. I didn’t know that, but fortunately I hadn’t experienced any issues on my original dose. And my therapist had no reason to believe that on this increased dose I would have issues.

But the other evening, not only did I have an epic unexpected panic attack, I had a horrible gallbladder attack as well.

I’ve had a history of gallbladder issues. It’s something that is in my family history and I used to have attacks every few months or so. I had an ultrasound and I don’t think they found gallstones. I was just told that if my attacks became more frequent or painful to come back and we would reevaluate. I may need my gallbladder out, but as of right now it’s staying.

But I haven’t had a gallbladder attack in a while. And I’m not sure if the panic or gallbladder attack came first, but having them together was pretty horrible. I was in incredible pain. I couldn’t find a comfortable position to be in and I was sweating like crazy. I also might have been crying but I really don’t remember. I may have passed out too because time passed that I don’t remember.

This episode lasted about an hour and honestly it was one of the worst hours I’ve had possibly ever (even worse than recovering from hip or tonsil surgery). I really debated calling 911 at times because whenever I have an unexpected panic attack I question if it is that or if it is really a heart attack or something worse. It doesn’t help that a gallbladder attack can feel similar to a heart attack as well.

Once the episode was done, I rested for a minute before trying to get up. I took a shower (all that sweating made me so gross) and then just hung out at my house the rest of the evening. I was supposed to go to an event that evening for Ms. In The Biz, but there wasn’t really a way for me to pull myself together in time (nor did I really feel comfortable driving).

Yes this sucked that I had to go through it. Panic attacks will possibly be a part of my life for forever (although they are getting better) and gallbladder attacks can be a possibility unless I get it out one day. But honestly, it was only one hour of my day and the rest of the day was pretty good (except having to miss that event). And there’s no point in letting one hour ruin everything else that was good about the day.

Even with the horrible hour I was still able to check off things on my happiness checklist for my therapist. I’m choosing to focus on those good hours and not the one bad one. Hopefully this won’t happen again for a long time, but if it does, I think I’m in a much better mindset to deal with it.

Another Therapist Check In (or Showing Off My Happiness Checklist)

I had another appointment with my therapist this week. Last time I was there, he gave me homework to do over the next 90 days (the number of days between my appointments). I was to make a checklist of 10 things that make me happy and track how many I do each day. The goal wasn’t to do all 10 every day (I don’t think I ever did that), but it was to try to make sure that I at least do some every day.

I did this for 90 days (my appointment ended up being on day 89 so I finished it the day after my appointment). And my checklist looked pretty full.

Old Happiness Checklist

I brought my (almost) completed checklist with me to my appointment to show my doctor. It was the first thing we discussed and honestly I think he was pretty surprised that I did it. He said that many patients start one and only keep it up for a couple of days and others never actually do it. But I wanted to prove that I’m taking this seriously and I’m not just going to therapy to get medication (although that is what started this process).

He told me to continue my checklist for the next 60 days (again, it’s the length of time between my appointments). I had to make a new checklist and I was allowed to keep any or all of the previously happiness items on the list. I decided to keep all but one of them. I changed shopping/beauty because while that does make me happy, my financial situation prevents me from doing it as often as I’d like. Nothing else on my list is restricted by money so I figured that that one was meant to go. In place of shopping/beauty I put binge free day. It’s a bit controversial that I listed lack of eating disorder symptoms as something that makes me happy, but hopefully my therapist will be ok with this.

New Happiness Checklist

After going over my checklist, we discussed how I was doing on Vyvanse. I’ve been very torn about the medication. It has helped a tiny bit (I’d say I’ve had many a 5% improvement) but I don’t want to take something if it isn’t making a significant change in my life. There are side effects that can be dangerous and I want to be in a place where the benefits outweigh the side effects.

My therapist seemed to understand my feelings and how I don’t want to give up on Vyvanse but I don’t know if continuing to take it is the right choice. So we are going to try changing up my dosage to see if that helps. I’m now going to take one pill in the morning and another pill right before lunch time. I just started this yesterday so I have no idea yet how it will really affect me or if it’s going to work a lot better. But I am very hopeful. I have to be since I know that many things can be affected if you are positive or not. So I’m going to remain positive about this and give it the best shot I can.

My therapist said that the best plan is to take the medication and forget about it. I shouldn’t make it the focus of my day (I wonder how he feels about me writing an entire blog post about it?). So if I’m supposed to forget about the medication, I’m going to focus on the happiness checklist and seeing how much I can get checked off in the next 60 days.

Being A Bit Of A Show-Off (or More Baby Steps)

I had a pretty great week of workouts this week. I might have only gotten 3 workouts in, but I really maximized them.

Monday was a really fun day. I had a friend come try out class with me! She had never been to Orangetheory before, but she was looking for a new workout class to motivate her. I love having new friends in class because if they get a membership then that means I’ll have more friends in class on a regular basis!

My friend was on the treadmill next to me and it happened to be a run/row day so the treadmill segments were pretty short. Because I want to push myself (and because I’m a major show-off), I decided to up my speed on the treadmill again.

My push and all-out paces have been pretty steady at 3.7 miles an hour (my base pace has been at 3.5). But I started at 3.7 for my pushes and then went to 3.8 and even 3.9 at times. I don’t think I can do those higher speeds for an entire class, but it’s good that I’m trying to add on speed for a minute or two. I’ve had issues with increasing my speed because I feel like it’s an all or nothing sort of thing. But it’s not horrible to have variable speeds throughout the class.

Since I was showing off at Monday’s class, I decided to see if I could push the limits of my push and all-out paces for the rest of the week. I was able to do a minute or so at 3.8 and 3.9 for my other two workouts. I even was able to do 4.0 miles an hour for about 30 seconds for an all-out segment (so it was also at 10% incline). I think I’m almost to the place where I can increase my push pace more often, but I’m still struggling with increasing my base pace. I’m testing the waters of 3.6 miles an hour, but it’s still a struggle for more than a few minutes.

Since Monday was a run/row day, I also had a good opportunity to work on getting better at rowing. Rowing is weird for me. I feel like I’m still struggling with it, but my coaches have been telling me that rowing might be my strongest thing. I’m great when it comes to sprints of about 250 meters or less, but the distance rows still make me struggle. One of the other workouts this past week had a 600 meter row and I had to take my time with that and that frustrated me.

I think this frustration I’m feeling is a real positive thing. It means that I know that I can do better and I’m not questioning myself as much as I have in the past. I’m still physically struggling, but I’m happier with that than I am with a mental struggle. I wish I could discuss this with my hip surgeon, but I know a lot of things I do aren’t really recommended. But since my hips are going to go bad no matter what I do, I figure I might as well work on my strength even if it might make my hips go bad a few months sooner than they would if I was cautious. Also, I’m been pushing the limits with my hips for a couple of years now, and I’m still doing way better than they ever expected I could.

Since I’ve been pushing myself on the treadmill a lot, I think it’s time for me to push myself with the weights. I’ve been using the same weights for a while. And I think the reason I’ve been nervous is because the weights I use look more like regular weights to me and the next set up looks a little scary. I know that’s probably really stupid, but I think that’s the only reason I’ve been holding back. It’s time for me to realize that I’m strong and can do more lifting than I have been doing. And by lifting more, I’m going to build more muscle which will help me in my weight loss.

I love this motivation I’ve found! I know that it can only lead to good things!

Getting Through My Workouts (or Sweating When I Can’t Breathe Through My Nose)

My workout week wasn’t the best, but it wasn’t horrible either. But I’m pretty darn impressed with myself that I did work out.

I got 3 workouts in. Part of the reason I only did 3 was because the week before I did 5 (and that was tough on me). But the other part was that I was sick.

I’ve read online that as long as all of your symptoms are above the neck, you are ok to work out. If they are below the neck (body aches) then you aren’t supposed to push yourself. While I did feel a bit achy, I figured that that was from pushing myself the week before and not from being sick.

My Monday workout was pretty tough. That was the day I felt the worst over the week. I had to keep stopping to catch my breath and cough. It wasn’t easy doing anything, but I did my best. And I did manage to stay at pretty much the same levels on the treadmill and weights on the floor as usual. I just wasn’t able to last as long or do as many rounds. But being able to do a little bit is better than me doing nothing and sitting on my couch. And I did feel a bit better after the workout so I joked that maybe I was able to sweat out the germs.

Wednesday was a bit of a blur for me. I had dealt with some people being really horrible to me at work and my head was foggy to begin with. Being sick on top of that really didn’t help. Again, I had to take more breaks than usual, but I was able to do a good chunk of the workout.

Friday was insane for me. It was a strength day, which means hills on the treadmill. I always do hills since I’m a power walker and can’t increase my speed like the joggers and runners can. But on strength days I try to do more extreme hills.

It seemed like every hill segment was 3 minutes long. And there were 3 sets of 3 minute hill segments back to back (with a 1 minute base pace at 4% incline between). It was so tough for me to get through those hills, but I pushed as much as possible. I still had to take more breaks than I would have liked to, but it was fewer breaks than the other days in the week.

I’ve talked about it before how glad I am that I’m able to work out while I’m sick. I’m not using being sick as an excuse the way I used to. I think part of this is because I work out of my house now. I can tell my boss that I’m too sick to work, but I really try not to do that. I can always bring my work stuff into my bed and work from there. So if I’m not allowing myself a sick day from work, why would I from a workout?

I’m finally feeling better (although I’m not 100% better yet). So I’m hoping that this week I can bring my workouts back to the level that they were before and that I can maybe get in 4 workouts this week to make up for only doing 3 last week.