Tag Archives: health issues

Listening And Learning (or A Brand New Monthly Challenge)

Posted on March 6, 2024 | Comments Off on Listening And Learning (or A Brand New Monthly Challenge)

Last month, I challenged myself to listen to my body more. I think many things were coming together that made me feel like I needed to do this. I was struggling a lot with sleep, but that didn’t account for everything I was feeling. I just had an odd feeling of being off. I don’t want to assume that my iron issues were causing this, but I will say that taking my new supplements has been helping with that feeling so maybe that was it. But I just knew I needed to listen to my body with so many things and I needed to find a way to feel like myself again.

I think sleep will always be an on-and-off issue for me. I naturally don’t wake up early, but I make myself do it so I can go to my workout. I make an effort to go to bed early and not stay up as late as I’d like, but that doesn’t always mean I’ll fall asleep quickly. I still wake up sometimes in the middle of the night, and I don’t know why I do that. It’s not that I’m thirsty or in pain, I just don’t always sleep all night. But I made sure to note when that happened and took things a bit easier the next day since I knew I’d be tired.

But I think the biggest thing I did with listening to my body was to use that with how I ate. Just like sleeping, I know food will always be an issue for me. I can’t just always eat what I want, but I know that listening to my cravings can help me manage food better. I also didn’t stress myself out as much about eating at official meal times. I did try to have 3 meals in a day, but sometimes it was more like 2 meals and 2 snacks. I don’t track calories or other nutrition like that, but I do have a general idea of how much I’m eating and I know I’m staying within the right amount of calories. And I was feeling more satisfied when I did try to indulge in my cravings a bit more. If I was craving something sweet or salty, I didn’t ignore that. I didn’t necessarily eat exactly what I would like if it wasn’t the best choice, but I tried to figure out something that would help that craving. And yes, sometimes I did eat the “bad” thing because I knew that was going to be the only thing that I wanted.

Overall, I’m happy with what I did with my challenge in February. I feel much more like myself now. I still have some physical ailments that I know won’t be resolved by listening to my body, but things are much easier on me when I don’t have extra things I have to work through.

And for March, I decided to go back to the type of challenge I did when I started doing these. I recently got a new-to-me camera from a friend. It’s a very nice camera and so far I’ve only used it with all the auto settings. But because it’s the first camera I’ve owned that has all these settings and ways you can take amazing photos, I want to learn how to do that. So I’ve decided this month that I’d like to take some online photography classes.

I’ve already saved a few different free classes I found online and I’m going to work through them. I don’t think I’ll be able to get through them all within the month, but I’d like to have some idea about how to use more than just the auto setting on the camera by the end of the month. I don’t know how often I might use this new camera since the main reason I got it from my friend is to do self-tape auditions, but I think it would be fun to be able to take nice photos from time to time. I don’t want to get myself in a situation where I regret not learning how to use the different features before having an opportunity to use it.

I’m hoping by the end of the month, I will feel more comfortable using the new camera and I’ll start to have some fun with it. I don’t know if I’ll pick up photography as a new hobby, but you never know. New hobbies start after trying something, so maybe I’ll end up finding a new creative way to express myself!

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Posted in Fun Stuff, Health

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Still Having Easy Therapy Check-Ins (or A Few New Things To Do)

Posted on February 14, 2024 | Comments Off on Still Having Easy Therapy Check-Ins (or A Few New Things To Do)

My therapy appointments haven’t felt like appointments for a long time. They feel more like a check-in to make sure everything is going ok and I don’t need to change anything. I think I’m on a good dosage of the medication this doctor prescribed and I don’t see the need to change things up. I know there are other medications that I could try that might help me, but every time I’ve added something new I have new side effects. And I’m already dealing with enough side effects at this point so I don’t need to add any more. I’m glad my therapist is fine with these appointments turning into check-ins as well so they can be easy and quick. Plus, they are still virtual appointments, so they are even quicker for me since I don’t have to drive there and back.

I only have appointments every 6 months now, so they aren’t that often. I’m ok with that and know I could always schedule an additional appointment if I felt like I needed one. But since things have been pretty steady for a while, I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.

I actually brought up in my appointment this week how I feel like I just keep telling her the same thing every time, how things are going well and I feel like I’m on a good path. She thinks that it’s fine that I haven’t wanted to change what I’ve been doing and what the plan has been. But even though we don’t want to change anything, there are some new regulations for controlled substances (which my medication is) that I now have to go through.

Some of the new regulations have been things I’ve been working with. I can only get a month of medication at a time when in the past I could get 90 days at a time. It’s not that bad that I have to go in every month because I have to do that for another one of my medications. But it was nice to not have to worry about a refill for a few months. And now, I can’t request a refill as early as I used to. In the past, I could request a refill when I had about a week of medication left. That allowed for time for it to be filled since it can take a day or two. Now, I have to wait until I have only 2 days of medication left to put in my refill request, and that means that I can go a day or two without it. There’s also a shortage of the medication, so that can add even more delays with getting my refill. It’s frustrating because I know I’m not doing anything wrong, but I understand why there are regulations in place.

And while I was in my therapy appointment, I found out another regulation that I have to do so I can continue getting my medications. I have to go to cardiology to get an EKG to make sure that my heart is ok and there’s nothing weird going on with my medication. I’m not worried about my heart because I know I’m taking everything as prescribed and not abusing my medications. And I’m pretty aware of my heart rate since I wear a heart rate monitor in my workouts. But it is something that I will have to pay for to get done and I will have to find the time to go in to get it done. It’s a minor inconvenience for me so I’m aware that things could be much worse. And I don’t think I will have to do the EKGs regularly, so I’m hoping that I will just do it this one time and then I won’t have to worry about it again.

I’ll have my next therapy check-in in 6 months, right after my birthday. I’m not expecting anything to be different then and the plan will continue to be to keep doing what I’ve been doing. And hopefully, there won’t be any additional regulations with my medication that I will need to worry about. But if there are, I’ll just do what I need to do so that I can continue to make and see progress.

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Finding New Ways To Accomplish Old Goals (or Feeling Good About Some Challenges)

Posted on February 7, 2024 | Comments Off on Finding New Ways To Accomplish Old Goals (or Feeling Good About Some Challenges)

To kick off 2024, I wanted to work on budgeting again. I’ve done this so many times in the past, but it’s still something I struggle with. I’ve heard a lot of people say they are making the most money they’ve ever made right now but also feel the poorest they’ve ever been. I totally related to that feeling. So working on budgeting for my January challenge seemed like the right thing to do.

Things didn’t go the way I expected them to go last month, but I still feel like I accomplished my goal. I still don’t necessarily have a budget created for myself to track my money, but I’m a lot better about how I’ve been spending money. And a big part of that is working on using coupons and deals a lot more. I have been pretty good about using coupons at places like CVS that make them really easy to use, but I haven’t been as good about doing that at the grocery store. And honestly, it’s silly that I haven’t been doing that. But I’m now working on being a lot more mindful about what I buy each week at the store and trying to make sure I look up any coupons ahead of time so I can make the best choices.

I also signed up for a rebate app that does money back on top of coupons I might find online. I know there are a bunch of rebate apps out there, but I went with iBotta. That one seemed to be mentioned a lot and was pretty user-friendly. I know that I can do a lot more with that app than I’m doing now, but I’m starting off doing what I can and I’ve already gotten just over $20 back from the past month. I know that’s not a huge amount, but it’s still $20 I wouldn’t have had if I didn’t do it.

Once I’m better with doing these things, I do want to figure out about how much I spend in a month for groceries so I can use that to help me work on making a budget. I don’t think a super strict budget will ever end up being the right thing for me, but saving money where I can and being aware of how I’m spending it is something I know I need to continue to be better about.

And being mindful of things connects a bit to my challenge for February. This challenge will be a little harder to see if I’m successful or not, but I want to work on listening to my body more this month. I’ve had a lot of things that affect my body in crazy ways and I’ve just been working on going with the flow. But that’s not working for me anymore. Especially with side effects from medication, I’m tired of letting those things control my life as much as it has. I know I can’t be fully in control, but I can be a lot more aware of how things will affect me based on different factors. Maybe if I eat differently at different times of the day, things will be better. I’m sure I need to continue to get more sleep, but finding the right amount of sleep would be good too. I know that when I can sleep in, if I sleep too much I feel tired just like I do with a little too little sleep. I also want to focus on the hip pains I’ve been having lately so I can see what I can do to make that a little easier to deal with. So much is out of my control with pain and side effects, but there are still things I can do to try to make things better for me. I’m not willing to just give up and accept how often I have bad days anymore. I need to work on making things work for me again.

Just like so many other challenges I’ve done, this one will likely last more than just a month. But I’ve already been noting things about how different medications are affecting me and finding small changes I can try to see what works and what doesn’t. I’m hopeful that I’ll have at least a few new routines that work for me by the end of February!

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Posted in Health, Saving, Tough Stuff

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Another Phone Doctor Appointment (or A Bit Nervous For A Change In The New Year)

Posted on December 13, 2023 | Comments Off on Another Phone Doctor Appointment (or A Bit Nervous For A Change In The New Year)

I’m glad that I’ve been able to have a lot of my doctor appointments over the phone or via video chat. It’s so much easier since I can fit that into my workday without too many issues. When I have to go in person, it takes a lot more time since I need to consider how long the drive is, waiting in the waiting room, plus the time of the appointment. Not all appointments can be done this way, but it’s nice when they can be so I can stress a little less about making time for what should be a quick check-in appointment.

My phone appointment this week was with my bariatric medicine doctor. I knew it should be a pretty easy appointment since not a lot has changed since my last check-in. But at the same time, not having a lot of changes could mean that things do need to change. I’ve been on the same dosage of my medication for quite a while now. I’m not losing weight as quickly as I did in the beginning, but that’s also not that unusual. I’ve also lost enough weight that I’m considered a success even though I want to lose more. They say that losing 10% of your weight is a success and I’m just over 12%. I’m still experiencing side effects, but they typically are pretty manageable at this point. Overall, I have been very glad with my results taking this even if they aren’t quite as good as I would like them to be.

And these were all things that were discussed in my phone appointment. And my doctor didn’t seem too worried about what I’ve been experiencing. Of course, she would prefer for me to not have these side effects, but the good still outweighs the bad. And it’s not just about losing weight, the “food noise” I have dealt with my entire life is a lot less now. That is still something I consider a huge win. But my doctor knows that I hope to still see more results and that’s something we can try for. So she’s decided that when I get my next refill, I’ll be increasing my dosage.

The next dosage available is double what I’m currently taking. That’s a big jump, but I’ve also technically doubled my dose each time I’ve increased. And I know that increase means a lot of things can happen. I might see some really great results and lose a lot of weight quickly. I also might have an increase in the side effects I experience. The main side effect I still have is nausea, and I really don’t want that to increase. But I’m willing to take that risk to see if increasing my dosage helps me lose more weight. I also know that I can try things like injecting the medication into my thighs instead of my stomach and sometimes that helps make the transition to the higher dosage a bit more tolerable.

I told my doctor that I’m a bit nervous to do this increase, but I’m willing to see what happens. If I don’t react well to it, I can always drop back down to the dosage I’ve been taking. But I’m trying to think positively about this and maybe it won’t be as bad as I fear. I will still be taking my current dosage until this injection pen is done, so my first day on the new dosage (assuming I don’t run into a medication shortage at the pharmacy) will be on New Year’s Day. That actually will work out well for me because I won’t have to work that day so if I have a bad reaction, I can just rest. I also will probably time out taking the medication until after my New Year’s Day workout even if that means doing it later than I normally would to make sure I don’t have any extra issues.

It’s funny timing that this new dosage will likely be starting on New Year’s Day, but it also seems fitting that I will be starting the new year with a new plan for something I’ve been working on for so long! And hopefully, this will help me start 2024 with some positive things!

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Giving Myself A Long Time To Recover (or I’m Hoping This Isn’t Something Worse)

Posted on October 18, 2023 | Comments Off on Giving Myself A Long Time To Recover (or I’m Hoping This Isn’t Something Worse)

Over a month ago, I started to have some really odd foot pain. It’s been only on the top of my foot, and I couldn’t figure out what would make the pain worse and make it go away a bit. It would affect me when I was walking, which seemed normal. But what was so weird was that it hurt a lot when I was sleeping or lying on the couch. When it started, I thought maybe it was just a really bad bruise and I would give it time to go away. But after a few weeks, I knew it wasn’t something simple like that.

I started with a video appointment when a general medicine doctor, mainly because I knew I would need a referral to a specialist. But I wasn’t sure what type of specialist I would need to go to, so I just explained all my symptoms to the doctor and let them determine what the next steps would be. I had some x-rays ordered and the initial results were that there was nothing seen on the x-ray, which was a relief since the first doctor thought it could be a hairline fracture. But that didn’t answer what was causing the pain so I went to a podiatrist.

I was randomly assigned a podiatrist, mainly because I wanted the soonest appointment available. And it happened to be someone I had seen before for a different foot issue. As I waited for the appointment, things weren’t getting any better but they weren’t getting any worse. So I was just hoping that I could get some answers and make sure there wasn’t something really wrong with my foot.

I finally had my appointment last week. I knew going into the appointment that there were a few likely reasons I was having this pain. And those were a ligament issue, a tendon issue, or a nerve issue. I didn’t know which of those I was hoping it would be since none of them would necessarily be easy things to correct. But I also knew that getting a diagnosis was the first step in hopefully getting out of pain.

At my appointment, I reviewed all the symptoms for the doctor and he did a few different things to manipulate my foot to try to isolate the pain. And in the end, he thinks that I have a tendon issue in my foot. When he was pressing on the tendon on the top of my foot, it was making the pain more intense. But the one symptom that I said that confused him was that I experienced pain sometimes when I wasn’t wearing shoes, which made him worry that it could be a nerve issue. But that’s a much bigger thing to deal with so it’s easier to start with a simple problem and try to see if I can resolve that pain from those steps.

And the things I need to do aren’t too bad. I have to tie my shoes differently so they don’t lace over the affected tendon. I also am using BioFreeze on my foot a few times a day to help the pain not be as sharp. Eliminating the pain isn’t going to resolve the issue, but it makes it more tolerable to deal with while I wait for it to get better. And I might be waiting a long time because fixing a tendon issue can take months. I was told that if the pain wasn’t better in 6 months, then I need to return so we could look into some other remedies or see if I need to see someone else to figure out if it’s a nerve issue. But it might take those full 6 months before I feel better. So I’m just going to have to wait it out and hope for the best at this point.

I’m used to dealing with so many types of pain on a day-to-day basis, so it’s not too horrible to have another type of pain in my life. It’s not fun and I wish I didn’t have all this extra pain, but I know I can get through it. And hopefully, before 6 months have passed I will be in just a little bit less pain so I can just have this issue as something in my past that won’t be another medical mystery that needs to be solved.

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A Year Of A Medication (or It’s Been A Lot Of Good And Some Bad)

Posted on October 11, 2023 | Comments Off on A Year Of A Medication (or It’s Been A Lot Of Good And Some Bad)

About a year ago, I had my first appointment with a doctor in bariatric medicine. I went into that appointment with a specific concern in mind and really was worried that the doctor would either suggest other options for me that I didn’t want to do or that they would dismiss what I had to say. I was shocked when I was at that appointment and it went exactly how I hoped it would. I was terrified to start a medication that I would have to inject into myself, but I was also really hopeful for what it could mean for me and my future.

It hasn’t been an easy year and I knew this medication wouldn’t be a miracle for me and that I would still have to work at losing weight and there may be some tough side effects to get through. I also had to overcome my issues with needles and I knew that would be a big challenge. My first few injections were pretty bad for me. I did pass out with them in the beginning, but I took measures to make sure that I was safe such as doing them while laying down so I couldn’t get hurt when I passed out. I had a lot of bad side effects from the beginning that I had to learn how to manage. Some of these side effects disappeared after a few weeks or after I had a bit of time at a new dosage. A lot of these side effects are still things I have to deal with now. But after a year, I have gotten used to many of them and they aren’t all as bad as they were when I started.

The main side effect I still deal with almost weekly is nausea. This is something that can vary each week, and I think there are a lot of factors that make things better or worse for me. I know I don’t inject the medication in the exact same spot on each side each time, and I feel like some spots are better for me than others. I just haven’t figured out the pattern of what are the good spots to use so I just have to see how I feel each week. And when I’m dealing with other nausea, the nausea I have as a side effect is amplified. It’s not ideal, but considering the good that I’m getting out of this medication, it’s worth it.

And I have been getting good out of it. I’m not losing weight at the same rate that I was at the beginning, and that’s a bit hard to accept. But I’m still losing weight. I don’t know why it’s as slow as it is now (sometimes it’s only half a pound a month), but I’m glad things are going in the right direction. And based on what this medication is supposed to help with, I have hit the goal percentage of weight loss already. That doesn’t mean I’m stopping, but I know that I’m considered a success story with how things have gone for me.

But beyond weight loss, the best thing for me has been my relationship with food. It’s so hard to explain food noise to someone who hasn’t dealt with it before, but it’s almost like an obsession with food even if you are eating healthy or the right portions. You can wake up and spend your morning planning your meals for the day to make sure it’s exactly what you want. Now, I still have some of those feelings and thoughts but they aren’t as often or as overwhelming. I don’t necessarily think about what I want to have for dinner until it’s almost time to eat. I do have to remember to eat occasionally, especially at lunchtime, but it’s nice to not have food such a focus in my mind.

I know that this medication is controversial and some people don’t believe that people should take it for weight loss, but I’m so grateful that I have been allowed to do so. I haven’t changed many of my food or exercise habits in this past year, but the way that my body is reacting is different. I have known for a while that the simple concept of calories in calories out hasn’t really worked for me. Even when I’m tracking things perfectly, my body doesn’t react the way it should. But now, things seem to be more aligned with what is considered normal. I also know that not everyone would agree that the side effects I’ve been dealing with have been worth it, but that’s a personal decision and some people will be ok with certain side effects more than others. I’m glad that I have been ok with the few negatives that I’ve experienced because this isn’t a short-term plan. I don’t know if I’ll be on this forever, but maybe I will and I’ve had to be ok with that.

It’s been a bit of a crazy year between side effects, medication shortages, positive progress, overcoming my issues with needles, and everything else that I have gone through. But I’m in such a better place than I was a year ago and I’m hoping that things will continue in the right direction for me in the next year and I’ll still be happy with how things look a year from now.

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Posted in Health, Weight Loss

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Back To Back Doctor Appointments (or Still Having Easy Check-Ups)

Posted on August 16, 2023 | Comments Off on Back To Back Doctor Appointments (or Still Having Easy Check-Ups)

Even though it seems like I always have doctor appointments on my calendar, I’ve been very lucky that they usually are very routine and easy. I have several ongoing conditions that I’m trying to manage, and they seem to be a lot more stable now than they have been in the past. This is what I’ve been trying to achieve, so it’s nice to manage things tolerably instead of figuring out what to do next. But even with things being stable and manageable, I still have regular check-ups with my doctors to make sure nothing has changed.

And I had 2 of these check-up appointments recently just to make sure everything is fine. Fortunately, both appointments went as easily as I assumed they would.

First, I had an appointment with my dermatologist. These appointments have been pretty easy for a while now. My autoimmune condition has been more stable than ever and I really don’t have to think about it that often anymore. Occasionally, I do have a bad flare-up, but they are less frequent and usually not as many at one time. When I had my appointment, I did have a bad flare-up, but it was only a single location and a single flare-up. In the past, it could be multiple flare-ups at one time and in different locations on my body. When that was happening, the pain took a lot of my focus each day. With how my flare-ups have been lately, I only think about them if I position my body in a way to trigger the pain. It’s such a nice change compared to what I had been dealing with for so many years.

One of the medications I’ve been on to manage it for the past few months may or may not be working because typically it takes about 6 months to see if it’s helping. So hopefully, by my next appointment, I’ll have a better idea if it’s working and if I want to stay on it. It doesn’t really have any side effects so it’s not hurting me to stay on it to test it out. If at my next appointment, I don’t think it’s helping, I might go off of it just so I don’t take an extra medication that I have to pay for each month. But I’m trying to stay optimistic and thinking that I’ll see some positive results when I go back again. And because things are so stable, I don’t have to go back to my dermatologist for 6 months this time. Of course, if something comes up I can make an appointment sooner, but this is a longer time between appointments than I have had in the past.

And a few days after my dermatologist, I had my check-in with my therapist. Again, these appointments have been very simple and easy for a while. They are even easier than most appointments since I can continue to do them as video appointments. That makes it so much easier to fit into my schedule and they take significantly less time now that I don’t have to drive to the medical office and wait in the waiting room. I’m glad this is still an option for me and it should continue to be that way since my therapist used to see me in person and we haven’t always had virtual appointments.

This appointment was very similar to the last several therapist check-ins. She wanted to make sure that I’m still doing ok with my medication and that nothing much has changed with my mental health. The only thing we had to discuss was how I had to stop taking my medication for a bit because there was a shortage and I couldn’t get a refill. That’s not something that can be predicted, so it could happen again. But I’m hoping it won’t because I noticed a significant difference in how I was feeling when I had to stop taking it.

Other than discussing that, there wasn’t much talked about with my therapist which was what I expected. And just like with my dermatologist, my next check-in will be in 6 months so I have a bit of time before my next appointment.

It took time to get to a place where these appointments could be so easy and everything under control. I’m so grateful that I have gotten to this place because it wasn’t straightforward and it took trial and error. And I know that this isn’t necessarily what it will always be like and things can change and I could struggle to get to this stability again. But I’m just going to enjoy that things are like this for now and remain hopeful that when I have both of these appointments again in about 6 months that I will still be in the same place.

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Another Easy Phone Appointment (or Sticking With The Same Plan For Now)

Posted on June 14, 2023 | Comments Off on Another Easy Phone Appointment (or Sticking With The Same Plan For Now)

I’ve been lucky that a lot of the doctor appointments I have can be handled either over the phone or through a video call. It’s so much easier not to go to the hospital for an appointment and work things around my work schedule. I know that not all appointments can be this way, but I’m always grateful when they can be since they end up being a much smaller part of my day.

My most recent doctor appointment on the phone was with my doctor in bariatric medicine. It has been a while since I’ve had an appointment, but there also hasn’t been much to say about the medication that I’m on. I have noticed a difference in how food relates to my life. I’m not struggling to eat as much as I did when I started the injections, but I also still have to be careful with food since it can make me sick. It’s a balance I have worked on figuring out and I think I’m in a good spot with that. I do still have side effects and those can be annoying, but compared to what others report, I know that I’m not having as difficult of a time as many people do.

The best thing about this medication has been something I wasn’t expecting. I don’t know how else to explain it, but the noise in my brain about food has quieted down a lot. I know I’ve shared this before, but this has been a change that has helped me mentally more than I thought it would. It’s not perfect or a miracle, but it has been a huge positive change in my life. As far as weight loss goes, things have stalled a bit. I am grateful that I haven’t started to gain weight and I have lost a little bit more, but it’s not what it was the first few months.

I knew that I wanted to bring up some of my concerns in my appointment, but I also knew that this could just be what things will be like. And I’m so glad that my doctor was very cool with just hearing me out and hearing my positive and negative thoughts. She agreed that I’m doing all the right things and that I am seeing success, and I agree with her. It might not be success the way I wanted to see it, but it is working. But she also understood my frustration, especially since what I’m experiencing now is similar to what I felt before I started the medication with my struggle to lose weight. We did discuss what some number goals should be in my head, but they are very broad so I’m not focused on a goal that may not be possible for me. And we did discuss if I should increase my dosage to see if that will kickstart things for me again.

But there are things to consider about increasing the dosage. First, there is only one dose higher than what I’m on. So if I increase it and then it stops working, there’s no higher dose that I can take. And since I’m still seeing success, it might not be the right time for me to go to the highest dose. Also, because the higher dose would be doubling what I’m taking now, I might get some significant side effects. My doctor does believe that they would level off, especially with how I’m doing with the side effects now. But I do remember how difficult the first few weeks were for me and the side effects I had then that I finally got over.

I was on the phone with my doctor a lot longer than I expected. Usually, phone appointments seem to be maybe 10 minutes long. This time, we talked for almost 25 minutes. And in the end, we agreed that right now is not the right time for me to increase the dosage. I may not see a lot of results right now, but they should be happening in time. Even just losing a little bit of weight over a few months is better than nothing. I haven’t been on this medication for a year yet, so increasing it to the highest dosage might be a bit premature. If I was insisting that I felt like I needed to increase it, I think my doctor would have supported it. But I’m not in a rush to get the results that I know will come eventually. And this could just be a simple plateau and I might break out of it without having to change the dosage. So I’m ok with giving things a bit more time and reevaluating the situation when I have my next appointment in a few months.

I wasn’t sure exactly what to expect out of this appointment since I had a few concerns I wanted to address, but I feel good about how the call ended and what the plan is for now. And the most important thing to me is that I felt heard by my doctor. My concerns weren’t dismissed. I wasn’t told I wasn’t trying hard enough. She listened to me and made me feel like we were a team with a plan moving forward. And I think because of that feeling, I think I feel more positive about what the plan is moving ahead and what the next steps might be. And I guess I’ll have to see when I have my next appointment if things will change or if I’m seeing more success with my efforts.

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Posted in Health, Weight Loss

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Forgetting A Medical Miracle Anniversary (or It’s Nice That This Isn’t Something I Think About)

Posted on April 27, 2023 | Comments Off on Forgetting A Medical Miracle Anniversary (or It’s Nice That This Isn’t Something I Think About)

I completely forgot to celebrate the anniversary of my not needing to have liver surgery! I’m usually pretty good about remembering dates and anniversaries, even the weird ones, and somehow this one just slipped my mind. I know it’s not something that I have to remember every year, and with my liver, there are a few different dates that are milestones. But I usually seem to remember to celebrate mid-April when I found out the tumors were shrinking and when I was supposed to have surgery but didn’t need it. I don’t always celebrate on the same date, but April 20th is when the surgery was supposed to be so that date usually sticks in my head.

I’m not too upset that I forgot to celebrate this. I do like to celebrate how awesome it is that this all worked out this way for me, but it’s also nice that it’s not something that dominates my mind anymore. From when I found out about the tumors until the surgery was canceled, this really was a huge focus of my life. I tried to not always think about it, but it’s hard not to when you are preparing for a major surgery and staying in the hospital for an unknown amount of time. Even just planning things out with my parents and where I’d be recovering took a lot of time and organization. And after we found out the tumors were shrinking, I still thought about the tumors a lot because I was always worried that my next scan would show that they grew or something else was wrong.

When I had my last liver MRI, which was exactly 5 years to the day since the first one, the tumors didn’t show any growth or change and my liver surgeon agreed that I no longer need to be monitored. I will always probably have at least one of the tumors (only one is visible but the other two might still be there but too small to be seen), but they are no longer a health risk for me. And since I don’t have to be monitored, I’m not really thinking about it anymore. I don’t have to be scared that something will happen because of how big the tumors are or the various risks that I was warned about when they were found.

This is different from how things are with my hip. I’m frequently reminded of the pain and the fact that I still need surgeries in the future. I can’t ignore that this is still an ongoing health issue for me. I guess the tumors can be considered an ongoing health issue as well, but it’s not something I have to confront on a regular basis. I’m not ignoring the fact that I have them, so I’m still not really drinking since that can stress my liver and I won’t go back on hormonal birth control since that would likely make the tumors grow again. There are a few things in my future that might require me to be monitored again, but they aren’t things that I need to worry about or that would happen unexpectedly.

And the more I’m removed from thinking that I need to have surgery, the more likely it will be that I forgot to remember about it. I’ve had so many random health things I’ve had to deal with over the years, and it’s not a bad thing to not always remember all of them. And yes, celebrating something awesome like not needing surgery is good. But not having to spend time thinking about a stressful time in my life is probably better.

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Doing My Best To Stay Calm (or At Least I’ll Have A Longer Break Between Appointments This Time)

Posted on April 20, 2023 | Comments Off on Doing My Best To Stay Calm (or At Least I’ll Have A Longer Break Between Appointments This Time)

I honestly can’t remember a time when I wasn’t dealing with a lot of anxiety around going to the dentist. I’m sure as a kid I wasn’t as bad as I am now, but I don’t think I’ve ever really been ok going in. I know I do what I should do for my teeth, but genetics really haven’t been on my side and I’ve had so many issues with my teeth. And combining that with a few really bad dentist appointments that really went wrong, I think my anxiety is never going to fully go away. I’ll admit that it has gotten better over time, but I’m always so stressed as I’m going into an appointment.

My last appointment didn’t go as well as they normally do. It wasn’t horrible, but things just took longer and things weren’t as easy as I’ve gotten used to. There are a couple of reasons why this might have happened, but after that appointment, I really told myself I needed to be better about making sure I do everything I could for my teeth. I mainly use a water flosser because I do better with that than normal floss, but I knew I needed to try to use regular floss more often. And I’m not always good about brushing my teeth after eating lunch, but I made an effort to try to do that when I could. Sometimes when I don’t really eat lunch, but instead I eat a snack over a long period of time, that’s not as simple to do. But even a little extra effort can always make a difference.

I felt somewhat hopeful when going into my appointment earlier this week, but I was still shaking as I was walking into the building and waiting in the waiting room. And I wasn’t calming down when I got brought back for my appointment. I feel bad because I know I look mean and a bit rude at the beginning of my appointments, but it’s just me trying to stay calm. I know if I talk too much or think too much about it, my panic attacks will hit me. So I just try to stay quiet and get things started so I can get them over with.

Fortunately, I was right and this appointment went a lot better than the last one. It was easy for me to get through and I had to really focus on trying to not shake too much, but at least I didn’t get any bad news and things went quickly because there wasn’t a lot that had to be done. And because of the timing of when my appointments have been, I was almost due to get new x-rays. But I asked if that could wait until my next appointment because I knew I wanted to be a bit more mentally prepared for that since that can also bring up bad news like fillings that need to be done. Since I’m not experiencing any pain or weird symptoms, my dentist allowed me to wait until just after I’m due for x-rays to get the next set. I know that my next appointment will be a bit more panic-inducing because I know those will be coming up, but I’ll just have to deal with that when it happens.

And I’m a little extra nervous on top of that for my next appointment because I’m actually not going back for 6 months. For a long time, I went to the dentist every 3 or 4 months because of the issues I had. But things have been a lot better over the last few appointments, even with the worse appointment last time, and my dentist said we can switch to me coming in every 6 months. I’m a little hesitant about that since I know that waiting longer could mean that things won’t be as good, but hopefully all the effort I put in at home will continue to pay off and it won’t be as bad as I fear. And if that appointment doesn’t go that well, I can always go back to every 4 months to keep things easier on me.

So I’m excited that I don’t have to deal with being this scared again for 6 months, but I know it won’t be the easiest appointment since there will be x-rays and it’s going to be a bit of an unknown. But hopefully, this last appointment going well is a good omen and things won’t be as bad as I think they might be.

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