Monthly Archives: May 2021

Getting Back Into My Workout Routine (or Having My First Benchmark In Over A Year)

I’m really feeling like I’m back in my routine and groove with my workouts. Most of my fears about being back at Orangetheory are gone. I do still struggle with feeling like I should be doing more or better, but I’m getting used to my current abilities and finding ways to challenge myself to get back to where I was a year ago. And like I’ve said so many times, having this routine has been so good for me both physically and mentally. Even with having a tough workout week this past week, I still feel so accomplished with what I did.

Monday’s workout had a bit of a surprise for me. One of my coaches from before the pandemic, Tyler, was back! I had no idea that he was back and coaching that morning, so it was a great surprise for me and I loved that it made the workout even more familiar to me. It seems like each week I have something else that makes the workouts feel more like they did before and having a familiar coach did that on Monday.

The workout was power based and we had 3 blocks at each section of the room. For cardio, we had a lot of all-outs with each block that were either 1-minute or 30-seconds. I didn’t do too much with the resistance levels because I wanted to work on getting my cadence up more, and I felt like I was really close to my old speed at some moments.

On the rower, the first two blocks had rows with medicine ball exercises. The first block started at a 100-meter row and increased 50 meters each round. And the second block started at a 250-meter row and decreased 50 meters each round. And between each row, we had squats with medicine ball front presses. And the last block matched the treadmills with a 30-second all-out, 30-second recovery, and 30-second all-out. And for that last 30-second all-out, I was finally able to get my wattage above 100. That’s been a challenge for me and I was so happy that I had a few moments when I was able to make that happen.

And on the floor, it was a lot of burpee work. The first block had burpees with hop overs, step-ups with weights (which I did as lunges with weights), and mountain climbers. The second block had rolling burpees (which I split into sit-ups and regular burpees), full thrusters with weights, and power sit-ups. And the last block, which was 90-seconds, was just all burpees. I did all the burpees using the bench, which helped a bit, but there were a lot and they were tough!

Wednesday’s workout was a benchmark workout: the 2,000-meter row. This is probably the hardest benchmark for me to do and I knew that I was going to struggle a lot. I didn’t look at my past times for the benchmark and I knew that there was no chance I would randomly PR. I just wanted to do what I could and take it from there.

Before the benchmark, I had cardio. But they kept the cardio a bit easier to make sure we weren’t too tired by the time we were on the rower. It was a single block where the treadmills had .25 mile runs (for me on the bike, it was 1 mile each time). And then we had a minute to recover after each time. I know I could have gone harder or faster, but I also didn’t want to burn out before the rower.

When I got to the rower, I had a few goals in mind. My biggest goal was to see if I could do the entire row without taking a break. My slightly easier goal was to only take breaks every 500-meters. And my easiest goal was to complete the row before the block ended (but I knew I could keep going if I wasn’t finished in time). I knew that doing the entire row without a break was going to be close to impossible, but I was proud of myself that I waited until I passed the 500-meter mark before taking my first break. But after that, I couldn’t maintain only taking breaks every 500-meters. I honestly took more breaks than I would have liked. But I was struggling so much and I needed to get myself together before rowing some more. In the end, I did finish before the block was done, so at least I met that goal. I was about 2 1/2 minutes off of my PR, which I don’t think is that bad. I was away from the rower for over a year and only back for a few weeks. I don’t know if I could have expected much more than what I did.

And on the floor, things weren’t too crazy (since some people had the floor block before rowing). We had lunges with weights, alligators on the straps, plank taps, sit-ups, and side lunges with upright rows. I was really tired after the benchmark, so I was taking a lot of breaks on the floor too. But I tried to take breaks only after I finished all the reps for one exercise. And I was able to do that so I consider that a win too.

Friday’s workout was a struggle. I was feeling really lightheaded and had a stomach ache. I wasn’t sick, but I wondered if maybe I had eaten something the night before that didn’t agree with me. But between that and feeling like I still needed to recover from the 2,000-meter row, I took the workout a bit easier than normal. Each section of the room had 4 blocks. 2 blocks were 4 1/2 minutes, 1 block was 1-minute, and 1 block was 30-seconds.

For cardio, the longer blocks had push paces with base paces after. And we had an all-out to end the block. The first 4 1/2 minute block had a 1-minute all out and the second had a 30-second all-out. I didn’t do too much with the resistance levels, but I did increase for the push paces in the first block. The 1-minute block was a 1-minute all out and the 30-second block was a 30-second all-out.

On the rower, the longer blocks were a mix of rowing and squats. The first longer block had timed rows and we did either a 1-minute or 30-second row. And the second longer block had distance rows with either 300-meter or 150-meters. Between each time or distance row, we had squat jacks, which I modified to be regular squats. And just like with cardio, the 1-minute block was a 1-minute all-out row and the 30-second block was a 30-second all-out row. I was having a lot of trouble catching my breath on the rower. I was coughing a lot (something I’ve dealt with for several years now) and I took breaks when needed when I was feeling a bit more light-headed. I also made sure to drink more water than I normally do in a workout in case I was dehydrated.

And on the floor, the first long block had lateral lunges with either a single-arm thruster or a hop plus plank punches. And the second long block had goblet squats, regular squats, and plank rotations. The goblet squats were probably my favorite because I know I can use a heavy weight for those. It wasn’t my best weight for those squats, but I did get to pull the weight from the heavy weight rack. And the 1-minute block had frogger squats and the 30-second block had jump squats. I modified both of those to be calf raises instead of the jumps.

Saturday’s workout was a mix of power and strength. Whatever issues I had on Friday were gone so I was able to push myself a lot. And I had multiple opportunities to do that for cardio.

The cardio block was pretty much on our own. We were supposed to start at an incline/resistance level and then bring it down each round. And each round was a mix of all-outs and recoveries. We started with a 30-second all-out and 30-second recovery. Then we had an all-out for as long as we could hold it before another 30-second recovery. Then one more all-out for as long as we could go before having a 1-minute recovery and then bringing down the incline/resistance. I did start the resistance level higher than I normally do for my all-outs when I use the resistance for them. And when I did the all-outs for as long as I could go, I typically went about 45-seconds before needing to recover. I think that’s pretty good and it was nice testing out a lot of different resistance levels on the bike.

For the rower, it was all about sprints and recovery. We had rounds of 10 all-out pulls on the rower before having 5 pulls of a recovery. After doing that a few times, we had either overhead presses or front presses with the medicine ball. I really tried to go hard with my all-outs rows since I knew they were going to be over really quickly. I didn’t go as hard as I would have liked to, but I was getting better at making sure I focus on pushing back with my legs and not using my back as much.

And on the floor, we had 2 blocks that each had 2 exercises. The first block had rows with weights and then chest presses on the straps. And the second block had chest presses with weight and rows on the straps. And for both blocks, the exercise with the weights was done until we couldn’t do them anymore. We were supposed to push ourselves and then take a little break before pushing some more. I was trying to go a bit heavy with the weights, so I usually had to stop after 5 or 6 reps. But I felt really good about what I did because I pushed myself with the weights.

Even though I feel like I’m in a good routine again with my workouts, just like it always happens, my routine is going to have to change. The workout times are shifting a bit at the studio, and right now I’m not sure which morning class I’ll be taking. As you all are reading this, I’m trying to see if the morning class that is closest to what I was doing will work for me to get home and shower before work. It’s going to be really close. If that doesn’t work, I may have to start going to workouts at 6am! I’m hoping I don’t have to do that because I don’t want to get up that early. But I will do it if that’s what it takes. I guess I’ll report back next week on how this week goes!

Mental Health Month (or There Is No Shame In Therapy)

May is Mental Health Month. Mental Health Month is all about sharing how help with mental health can be for everyone and that there is nothing wrong with getting help. And I strongly agree that mental health help and therapy are for everyone. I feel even stronger about this now because I have seen how my own mental health has fluctuated during the pandemic. Even someone who was completely stable before could be having worries now that they could get help with. And there are so many ways to get help these days.

I don’t know how many therapists are doing in-person appointments unless someone is having severe issues. But those will be coming back if they aren’t back just yet. But there are other ways to get help. I personally have used phone and video chat visits with my therapist, even before the pandemic. And those visits are so easy to do and require less time than going to an in-person appointment.

I’ve been in therapy for quite a while. While I haven’t continuously been in therapy since I was a teen, that is when I did start going. And I’m pretty open and honest about being in therapy for various issues. I have no shame in the fact that I’m working on getting help and I’m always happy to share what I’m going through.

So when I saw my friend Amir post this tweet, I knew I would have to tweet about it and wanted to go further in sharing my therapy journey.

When I started going to therapy when I was a teenager, I was a little embarrassed that I was going, but I also didn’t necessarily hide it. I also wasn’t as outspoken as I am now. I went mainly for issues like mild depression and anxiety, but I also know now that there is a chance that I was misdiagnosed. This isn’t the fault of the therapist I saw, I know I was misdiagnosed by more than one therapist. But I think it was how I presented at the time and what I was willing to share. I also didn’t go to that first therapist that much, so they really didn’t get to know me.

When I was in college, I had a different therapist that I started to see the summer between my freshman and sophomore years. That was the second therapist that looking back misdiagnosed me. But I know why I was misdiagnosed and I think I gave up on that therapy sooner than I should have because I wanted more immediate results.

I did group therapy for my eating disorder in my early 20’s for a few years. That group was great and I learned a lot about myself and what coping skills I could use. And I still stay in contact with many of the people from that group through social media. I might have stuck with that group longer, but life got in the way and I couldn’t attend. I’ve thought about maybe going back, but I also know the people I knew from the group aren’t there anymore and I don’t know if I want to start with a different group. At least not right now (or when it would be safe to go to a group therapy thing again).

There were several years I wasn’t in any form of therapy until I started again to more specifically discuss my eating disorder. And while I specifically started therapy again to get on Vyvanse (since you had to be seen by a doctor to get it), I also discussed other issues with that therapist. That’s where I really learned more about the mental health issues I have and why I might have been misdiagnosed in the past. I know now that my mild depression and panic issues are related to other things like having OCD. I also understand why some of the medications I was taking in the past might not have worked for me and why sometimes it made me feel worse. And while I didn’t go on any medications besides Vyvanse (I actually stopped taking some), I felt like I was getting much better.

That therapist that I saw to get on Vyvanse moved away, so I have a new therapist working with me on things. But we also both understand in a way that I have reached a stopping point with getting mental help with my eating disorder. Now, it’s more about managing my reactions to setbacks or other tough moments. And I am working on a few other things still, such as managing my OCD and overcoming emotional abuse in my past. But even as I work through these things and feel at times that I’m stuck, I know that I’ve made a lot of progress.

But one of the biggest things that I think has helped me over the years is being open and honest about getting help. Having others in my life know what I’m struggling with allows them to be there for me when I need it. I don’t feel like I have to hide a part of myself or watch everything I say or do. And being open about therapy has also helped to connect me with others going through the same thing. Having people who understand some of the quirks with a specific mental health issue is so helpful. Being able to share resources or have a sounding board is something I know I needed. And while my friends are great about supporting me, sometimes you just want to talk to someone who is going through the same situation. But I wouldn’t have that support from anyone if I wasn’t getting help myself or being open about it.

If you are struggling with any mental health issues, please find someone to talk to. Even if you don’t think things are that bad, you have a chance to make them better. There is no shame in getting help. If you had a broken leg, would you feel shame if you had to go to a doctor and couldn’t fix it yourself? No. Getting help for physical health issues is accepted by everyone. And hopefully, soon enough help for mental health issues will be viewed the same way by anyone and everyone.

Doing Even More Organizing and Redecorating (or Continuing To Change Things In My House)

About a year ago, I did a lot of work around my house. I wanted to keep myself busy with all the craziness going on in the world. But I also realized I was going to be spending a lot of time inside my house and I figured it was the perfect time to change things up in my house. While I do change things up from time to time in my house, there were a lot of things that have stayed the same since I moved into my house in 2010. And because I was spending a lot of time inside, I wanted my house to be the best set-up that I could.

I got some new decor things for my house, changed up some artwork, and reorganized a lot. I didn’t spend a ton of money and tried to do things for free or with what I already had if I could. But I did spend money on getting a few new things and gadgets to help me organize. Making it feel like everything had a good place to live in my house gave me a small sense of control in a world that felt like it was in chaos.

And throughout the past year, I have changed a few things but I haven’t done a big project as I did at first. That was partially due to realizing how much I had spent before, but I was also feeling satisfied with how things were looking around my house. And lately, I’ve been getting the itch to do some more projects.

I think this feeling is because of being bored in my house, but a lot of the projects I’m considering are things I’ve thought about doing for a while and just didn’t do it before. For example, I wanted to change my bedding again. It’s not a crazy change to get a new comforter, but I just haven’t picked out something I like. But I really want to change it up soon because I feel like I’ve been putting it off. I also have tried for a while to find storage for my bathroom because it’s very tiny with limited space. And I saw on a random list online about a new slim storage tower and I got it and it fit perfectly! Of course, getting that led to me buying other things to organize other parts of my bathroom, but I haven’t gotten all of that in yet.

There are other little things I’d like to do and haven’t done because I wanted to go into a store to find what I want. That’s finally something I feel like I could do and still feel safe. But I’m trying to do the projects that are being shipped to me first before I go into a store. I might change my mind about what I want, so I want to wait a bit. I also want to try to be careful about how much I spend. I am in a better financial situation now than I was for most of last year, but that doesn’t mean I can spend whatever I want without worrying.

It took me a long time between moving into my house and when I did all the projects last year. I wasn’t expecting to feel such a push to do more projects so soon and to change up even more. But maybe being home so much for a year has made me think more about everything I have in my house and what I have wanted. I will always be limited by space and money, but I can still make my house feel more like what I want. If I’m going to be spending a lot of time at home (although, hopefully less than this past year), I should make sure that I’m happy with everything I have and change things I don’t like if I can.

And if adding silly little things or new ways to organize stuff makes me happy and even more like my house is perfect, then that’s what I should do when I can.

A Little Of My Old Life and A Little Of My New Life (or Yet Another Thing To Balance)

When the pandemic started, everything shut down very quickly. I have said it was like a light switch. One day, things were open and seemed normal. The next day, I didn’t know what do to or what I would be able to get done. And while it was a little tough to go from feeling safe and able to live my life to feeling locked in my house, I think that transition also was easier because there was no thought necessary. I didn’t leave my house unless I had to. Most places I would have gone weren’t open anyway. So I just stayed home and went to the grocery store when I had to (if I wasn’t getting my groceries through a delivery service).

And I got used to my isolated life. I didn’t necessarily enjoy it, but it became familiar and easy enough to do. I didn’t have much in my life, but I also didn’t think too much about things since I didn’t have many other options.

I’ve shared on here before how it’s been tough for me to feel ok going out and doing more. Even though I’m fully vaccinated, I still am nervous about being out and about. The more that I do it, the better I feel. I think seeing how careful so many other people are has been helping me. I have only seen people throw a fit about wearing a mask a few times, and they were either removed from that location or left when they realized that nobody else there was on their side. And every time I add something back into my life, I am reminded about how much joy those things bring to me. For example, going out to dinner was amazing and made me feel more like myself again. Going to the grocery store more often than using delivery services is something I didn’t know how much I’d appreciate until I’d do it again.

But there are new routines and habits that I have started over the past year and I’m not necessarily giving them all up. There are some things that were almost an even switch. Such as no longer working out at home because I’m back at Orangetheory. That was easy for me to decide to do and I didn’t think twice about it and didn’t think about trying to do both the studio workouts and the home workouts. I would have done it if I needed to, but fortunately, I haven’t had to do that yet.

Then there are things like how I am dating. That’s not an even switch. Even with me going out for in-person dates again, I’m not completely giving up on virtual dating. I do still have the goal of meeting someone in person, but it is nice to almost have a pre-date to see if I want to take the time to meet them in person. I’ve joked to friends that with virtual dates, you don’t have to wear pants and you can make sure you just look good on camera. Much less effort than going to an in-person date. But dating in real life is still the plan for the guys I actually want to date, but I’ve been mixing up what I did before and what I’ve been doing this past year.

And then there are things that are new to me because of the pandemic that I’m still doing and plan on trying to keep in my regular routine. A big one is still doing things with my Netflix Party group. We’ve been watching things together for over a year now. And we have a good routine down. We watch a tv show together as a group on Wednesdays and movies on Saturdays (although we have watched some of the MCU mini-series on Saturdays too). This was started so none of us would feel too alone or isolated when things were at their worst with the pandemic. But it’s become something I look forward to every week now! And even though I can go out and do things with others in person, I want to prioritize my schedule so that I can still join on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

I know that this transition is going to be something I need to be aware of so I don’t overwhelm myself. I know that if I have too much on my schedule, I can almost struggle to do anything. But I also feel like I have to make up for lost time from this past year. But I know that at some point, I will find a balance of what I want to do from before and from now and it will make things in my future feel like a really amazing and full life.

Trying A New Type Of Virtual Date (or Having A Trivia Night)

For most of last year, it was very difficult to try to date. There were so many concerns about the pandemic and needing to trust someone who you don’t necessarily know to make sure you were being safe. I rarely met anyone in person, and the few time I did, it was usually outside while wearing masks. It’s not easy to date that way and get to know someone. There is a weird disconnect when you can’t see someone’s full face.

So I tried a few different virtual dating options. I did virtual movie nights using Netflix Party (now called Teleparty). I did phone calls and video dates and was grateful that so many of the apps incorporated these features into the apps so I didn’t have to give out my phone number to someone I haven’t met. And at least with video dating, I could see what someone looks like outside of just the photos they post. Seeing someone move around on the screen shows a better idea of their look.

And recently, I’ve been venturing into in-person dating again. It’s still something that makes me a little nervous as far as pandemic safety goes, but as things are getting better I feel better about going out to date. And as more places start to open up, it at least gives me some options for where I can go for a date. It’s still not easy, but I’m glad it’s an option now when I didn’t have it before.

But there are still plenty of reasons to do a virtual date before an in-person date. I do look forward to when I can quickly and easily suggest to someone that we should meet up for a drink or coffee since in-person chemistry is so important to me. But there are still people who are high risk for getting sick or haven’t gotten the vaccine yet. And there are other guys that I’m matching with that aren’t super close to where I live. I don’t mind having to go to the valley for a date, but it’s not something I always want to do if I’m unsure about a person. So I continue to do virtual dates.

And it seems like some of the apps are trying to make virtual dates more than just a phone or video call. Having something to do on a virtual date makes it a little less awkward (which is part of the reason why I like doing virtual movie nights). A little while ago, I noticed that Bumble added a new virtual date option for a trivia game called Night In. I hadn’t had a chance to use it when it was released, but I did finally have a virtual date with it over this past weekend.

Night In is a trivia game that has 3 rounds and each round has 5 questions. You are in a video call with the other person and you work together to answer each question. You both have to press on the answer to see if you are right or not. You aren’t competing against anyone else, it’s just a way to have an icebreaker for a virtual date.

And I have to say that it was a really fun way to move beyond just texting with someone and getting to know them a bit. You learn about what random things they know about or how they try to solve a question they don’t know the answer to. We didn’t do that great with the trivia. We usually got either 2 out of 5 or 3 out of 5 right. There were a few that we disagreed on, but the answer the other person wanted was right. But again, it wasn’t a competition with anyone else, so it was ok that we didn’t get that many correct.

The only downside to using this for a virtual date was that there was a time limit to answer each question. I think it was about a minute for each one. So there wasn’t a ton of time to chat while we were playing or to discuss why we thought an answer was right. But after we completed all 3 rounds, we did continue our video call and got to know each other a bit more. I’m not sure there will be an in-person date or not, but I did get to know him better than I had over text. And there wasn’t a long time waiting for an answer to a question like there is with text.

I know that eventually, I might not do any form of virtual dating. I do see the benefit of a phone or video call before meeting in person because I have decided I didn’t want to meet someone from a call. But at the same time, I usually just prefer to meet in person. I know it has the potential to be a waste of time, but I don’t have such a crazy schedule that wasting an afternoon messes too much up for me.

But at least for now, I’m grateful for the options I have. Dating is hard to begin with, but it’s been so much harder since last year. So anything that gives me options and the ability to feel safe while dating is appreciated and something I’m glad I have to use if I feel like it’s the right first step.

Some Big Workout Wins (or I Was Expecting This To Happen So Soon)

I’m very happy with how this past week of workouts went. Not all of my workouts were great, but I had some really great moments. And I honestly thought it would take a lot longer before I felt like I had some accomplishments or that I was feeling more like my old self. There are still a lot of moments when I feel my lack of strength or endurance, but it was wonderful to also have some moments when I felt very powerful.

I was finally starting to feel a bit better for Monday’s workout. I still was dealing with some pain and nausea, but I was over the worst of it. And I’m glad I was starting to get better because this workout was a tough one! It was considered an endurance/strength/power workout, but for me, it felt like it was a lot of endurance.

For cardio and rowing, we had 4 blocks that had similar ideas but they were each a little different. For cardio, we started with a 3-minute distance challenge. I was actually impressed with myself with how far I could get in 3 minutes. I know that it’s not my best, but it’s very close! The second block was 5-minutes long and the goal was to beat our 3-minute distance. But the challenge was that we had all incline work. I think I might have set the resistance level a bit too high to start, but I lowered it a bit. And every minute of the 5 minutes, we decreased a bit more. I was able to tie my original distance. The third block was a 90-second distance challenge and the goal was to beat half of what the 3-minute distance was. And the last block was a 45-second distance challenge, and we were supposed to beat half of the 90-second challenge. I managed to beat my distance goals for both of the last distance challenges.

On the rower, we also started with a 3-minute distance challenge. This was the longest I’ve rowed since I have come back, and I wasn’t able to make it the entire time. I did make it for about half of it before I needed my first break, but once I took that first break I felt like I lost a lot of my endurance. I didn’t get as far on the rower as I hoped. The second block was 5-minutes and we were supposed to be our distance, just like we had on cardio. But this time, we rowed for 30-seconds and then had jump squats between each row. I did squats with calf raises instead. And just like with cardio, we had a 90-second and 45-second challenge. But for those last two, I was able to beat my distance goals.

On the floor, we had 1 long block that was split into 3 different mini-blocks. We were supposed to do each mini-block for 3 rounds before moving on to the next one. The first mini-block had squat jacks and push-ups to plank jacks. The second mini-block had ground to press and burpees. And the last mini-block had triceps with weights and pull-ups on the straps. I did struggle a bit with the exercises that had me face down, so I got the bench out to use so I wasn’t all the way to the ground and that helped a bit. But I think some of the struggling was also because this was a really tough workout! I loved how tough it was, but it also was a reminder of where I want to be able to get back to.

I was finally feeling better in time for Wednesday’s workout. It’s always a relief when I get past when I feel nauseous and can focus on the workout again. And for this workout, I knew I wanted to work hard because I was going to have a tough class on Friday.

Wednesday’s workout had the same timing for cardio and the rowers. Everything was in a 2-minute chunk. For cardio, we had push to all-outs that changed in length (but always equaling 2 minutes) with different inclines/resistance levels. And the rower was also the idea of a push to all-out on the rower for 2 minutes and while cardio was doing a walking recovery the rowers had medicine ball work. The medicine ball work was bicep curls, shoulder presses, and overhead triceps. I did pretty decently on the cardio. I’m noticing that I’m getting back to what I was able to do before on the bike a lot faster than everywhere else. But on the rower, I really struggled to row for 2 minutes without stopping. I know I’ll get there eventually, but it’s hard when it seems so far to be where I was.

On the floor, we had one long block that was split into 3 mini-blocks. And we were supposed to do each mini-block for 5 rounds before moving on (it was a Cinco de Mayo theme). The first mini-block had deadlifts and plank Spidermans. The second mini-block had chest presses and squats. And the last mini-block had low rows with weights and plank shoulder taps. I didn’t make it through it all and never really got to complete a round of the shoulder taps. But that was ok because for all the weight work, I was trying to go heavier than what I was using before. I sometimes could only do half the reps and then had to switch weights, but it still is progress!

Friday’s workout was my first signature workout back. And this time, we had Orange Everest! I have done this a few times and I think I’m having a better time doing it on the bike than I did on the treadmill, but it’s still a tough one. And since I only started back a few weeks ago, I wasn’t going to look at what I was able to do before and try to beat it. I only wanted to be able to finish it.

For Orange Everest, every minute the incline or resistance level goes up for the first 7 minutes. And for the last 7 minutes, we bring it back down one minute at a time. I knew the resistance levels were going to get really heavy for me on the bike and it would feel like I was biking in Jello or concrete. And it did feel that way for some of the highest resistance levels. But I managed to make it through with minimal breaks (I have to stop in order to sip water). And I did take a photo to remember what I did because we weren’t able to enter things into the tracker during class. But when I had a bit of a break, I looked at the app to see what I had done with Everest in the past and I realized that I PRed! The one below in my photo that says PR is my old PR. The distance I got done in this workout is the screen of the bike.

I wasn’t expecting this at all considering how far it seems I have to go before I’m as strong as I was. I was so shocked that I managed to do this and I asked my coach if there was a way to add it into the tracker because I want my PR there, so he was going to work on doing that for me.

On the rower, we had decreasing rows. We started with a 500-meter row and it was going to go down by 100 meters each time. And between each row, we had lunges with a medicine ball. I knew that rowing for 500-meters without stopping was a big challenge for me. I struggled to row for more than 90-seconds and I knew a 500-meter row would take at least 2 1/2 minutes. But I decided to go for it and not focus on the wattage on the rower or how long it took me. And I was able to row the entire thing without a break! This gave me a huge confidence boost because I’ve been worried a lot about the 2,000-meter row challenge coming up. I know that will still be really hard, but to know I can row for 500-meters without stopping is a great sign that I am making progress. I only got to work on the 300-meter row when the block ended, but I did also do the 400-meter row without stopping too!

And on the floor, we had a focus on upper body (since a lot of people were going to be doing the floor before Everest). We had low rows with weights, tricep extensions with weights, leg raises, chest presses, hammer curls, and bicycle crunches. I wasn’t lifting anything super heavy, but they were close to what I used to use for all the exercises. I was a little tired from Everest and my rowing to test out using heavier weights for a bit, but I figured that was ok. I was still able to do a lot of good work on the floor and I left this workout feeling so amazing!

Saturday’s workout ended up being a bit of a recovery day for me. I didn’t want to take the day off, but I was a bit sore from Friday and the work I had done in that workout. So I went a little easier on myself while still pushing a bit.

The cardio was one long block with no recovery time in it. We started with a 3-minute push pace to a 3-minute base pace. Then we had a 2-minute push and 2-minute base. And we ended with a 4-minute distance challenge. I went a bit easier for the 2 push paces than I did for the distance challenge. But for those last 4 minutes, I really tried to go hard and see how far I could bet. I set my goal based on doing a little less than I knew I was able to do before in that time. And I was able to beat that distance! I really felt like that this completed an amazing week on the bike. The bike has been the place I have felt like I have come back the quickest, and I think this workout proved me right.

On the rower, we had rowing with dumbbell exercises between each row. The first set had 300, 200, and 100-meter rows with single arm deadlifts with a weight. And the second set was also 300, 200, and 100-meter rows but we had split stance low rows with the weights. I got through all of the first set and completed the 300 and 200-meter rows for the second set before time was done with rowing.

And on the floor, we had 2 blocks. The first block had squat to reaches on the straps, squats to I-raises on the straps, and low rows with a medicine ball. And the second block was a core blast. We had crunches, plank punches, and mountain climbers. And for the last minute, we were supposed to hold a plank. I wasn’t able to hold my plank for the full minute, but I tried to stay up as long as I could before taking a bit of a break.

Even though I didn’t get amazing things done in every workout, I feel like I’m really seeing progress. I was so worried it would take a long time for me to feel like I’m getting back to the old me, and I’m glad I was wrong. I do still think it will take at least a few months to be back to where I was before the pandemic, but I’m happy to see that I will notice progress as I get there. I can still celebrate the accomplishments even if it’s not quite what I was able to do in the past.

Feeling Normal and Less Anxious (or Sorry I Keep Writing About The Same Thing)

A year ago when the pandemic started, I worried so much about what I would blog about. I wondered if I would have to cut back on how many days I’d have posts to go live. I wondered if every post would be the same and I’d have nothing to write about. I’m still surprised that I was able to maintain my regular blogging schedule even at the worst points of the pandemic.

But what I didn’t think about as much is how often I would write about things being normal again and how happy it makes me. Maybe it’s because things shutting down was such a shock that it seemed so different and the idea of things coming back seemed normal and boring. But I feel like I’m constantly writing about how happy I am as things come back into my life and things start to feel more like my life before.

Of course, I’m still being very cautious about what I do and where I go. I do have some anxiety as I go into a new place or am around a new person because I have to judge how safe things are. I know I’m pretty safe between being fully vaccinated and staying masked (except the few moments I am not masked in certain places). But I still need to be careful with my own safety and the safety of those around me.

But that anxiety about staying safe is easing as I get to do more things in my life. It’s not that I forget to be anxious or I don’t care. But my anxiety isn’t the primary emotion in my life anymore. I have other things to focus on so my mental health is in a much better place. My baseline isn’t where it was before, but it’s much closer to that than how low I was feeling during the worst of it. And as I add more and more back into my life, my baseline is getting to a better place.

I think having Orangetheory back into my life is a big thing that has made me feel better about everything. That routine and that workout helps me in so many ways. Even though it’s still tough to struggle with things I didn’t struggle with before, I’m feeling so much better about myself. I don’t even mind that I have to wake up so early to go to class. I’ve always appreciated Orangetheory and what it did for my body and mind, but I appreciate it at a whole new level now. And as I go to each class, I notice that working out in the studio is helping me feel better and better. I’m sure at some point that will level off, but for now it’s making a huge difference in my life.

Going out to eat was another big thing that has helped make me feel more normal and less anxious. This was a little harder for me to do since going out to eat means you aren’t wearing a mask. But going to Wood & Vine felt a lot safer than so many places I’ve been going in the past year. I knew I could trust the management and staff to be doing the right things to keep people safe, and I was right. I have seen some restaurants doing outdoor dining and the tables seem really close together. But Wood & Vine really was careful with how they set up the space, even when that meant they couldn’t have as many people there as they wanted.

Just going out to eat with a friend felt so normal and even though we were very aware of things, it also allowed us to forget that we were still in a pandemic for a little bit of time. And having any time where the pandemic isn’t dominating my thoughts is a nice escape. I spent far too long since last year thinking of nothing but my safety and health. And just like how Orangetheory is helping my mental health, having another focus is doing the same. Going out to eat is going to have to be a rare treat because I do want to be careful how much I go out, but it’s nice that it’s an option again in my life.

And even my dating life is starting to feel a bit more normal again! I’m still doing some video/virtual dates, but meeting up in person is getting a bit easier to do. Coffee dates are much easier now than they were for most of last year. I feel safer hanging out outside with someone new. Being on a date without a mask is still something I think I’m only ok with if the other person is vaccinated (and most people who are vaccinated are happy to show their vaccination cards to prove it) and there are still not a lot of options to have creative dates. But as things reopen again, there will be more places I can go on dates. And hopefully, just like with so much else, things will continue to feel safer for me and I won’t be as worried about my health.

My life is still not fully back to normal, but in the past month I have been able to have a lot of things back. And I’ve been feeling more calm and relaxed and home, which is having a lot of positive effects. I’m able to sleep better. I’m more focused. I am enjoying silly little things again. I feel like the doom and gloom feeling is still in the background, but it’s not taking over my life. And I needed this happiness back.

Just like with so many other posts where I have written about things being closer to normal, I had no idea how much I needed this until I had it. I knew I wasn’t doing great last year, but I had no clue how bad it had gotten for me until it got better. And I’m trying to stay hopeful that it is only going to continue to get better from now on.

A Return To Wood & Vine (or Feeling Even More Like Things Are Normal)

There are so many things that I haven’t been able to do for the past year. Sometimes it’s because I didn’t feel safe doing them and sometimes it’s because the place was closed or there was no way to get there. But recently, things are starting to slowly open up and I am feeling a bit safer about going out and not being just in my own little bubble at home. And one of the things that I haven’t really been able to do in the past year was to go out to dinner at a restaurant.

I’ve gotten takeout and delivery from restaurants, but I haven’t been going to restaurants to eat there. I know so many places have outdoor seating and have even been able to expand their seating to fit more people, it’s just something I haven’t done. But when I got an email from the manager at Wood & Vine that they were going to reopen, I knew I had to make a reservation to eat there!

Wood & Vine had been closed since things shut down. Even though they have a great patio space, they decided to stay closed until they knew that they could make it safe for both the guests and the staff. I really did respect that choice. If they had opened before I felt safe to go back, I would have supported them by buying a gift certificate or getting take out if they had offered it. But the timing worked out perfectly for me being fully vaccinated and their new opening date. So of course, I was going to go!

My friend Dani came with me since she and I were usually there together before a show at the Pantages. The theater isn’t open yet (right now, it’s looking like they will be back in October), but I was excited to have a nice dinner out at a restaurant I love and making that the main event of the evening.

While Wood & Vine was closed, they did some renovations on the restaurant. We were seated on the patio and they did a beautiful job making it look amazing! And even though it meant they had to reduce the number of seats available, they really made sure that the tables were at least 6 feet apart to keep everyone safe.

We made our reservation for right after they opened since neither of us mind eating on the earlier side. Plus, we knew we were in for a great meal and didn’t want to feel rushed.

The menu has changed a bit since they closed. There were still a lot of favorites that we recognized, but there were some delicious-sounding new things too. And they currently have a welcome back special that includes a drink, fish tacos, short ribs, and dessert. While the special sounded great, Dani and I decided to pick a few things out from the menu.

We ended up getting more food than we ordered because the manager sent some things over to us! We had ordered the fried ricotta, spinach and artichoke dip, short ribs, and scallops. And we were also sent over the fish tacos and 3 different desserts! We were so spoiled!

Everything was delicious. Even just writing about it now is making me crave the food again! I wish I was a better writer so I could describe the food better. But it was perfectly cooked and with the perfect spices to make each bite so full of flavor. And all the desserts were so luxurious. The butterscotch is something we’ve had many times before and it was just as good as I remembered it. And the mousse and poundcake were so chocolately. I was so full after dinner, but it was beyond worth it.

And it wasn’t just the food that was amazing. You could tell how happy all the staff is to be back. I know that people were ready to get back to work, but you can tell that they are happy that things are safer now than if they had opened up sooner. And knowing how happy they are made me feel much better about going to dinner. If I go out to dinner any time soon, I think I might try to make it at Wood & Vine even though it’s not super close to me. I love being able to support a restaurant that really does care about its customers and staff.

And of course, throughout dinner we got to chat with the manager, Wally. Getting to catch up with him was amazing and he was telling us all about the renovations to the space and the changes to the menu. You could tell how proud he was that the restaurant was open again. And while we were there, we could see that all the customers were just as excited to be there for dinner as we were.

Wood & Vine has been a regular part of my routine for so long, and it was wonderful to be able to have that back in my life too.

A Dermatologist Follow-Up (or I’m Not Always The Best Judge Of Progress)

3 months ago, I saw my dermatologist to discuss a really bad flare-up with my autoimmune condition. Of course, at the time I finally got to my appointment, my flare-up wasn’t as bad as it had been. But even when it’s not bad, it’s still seen on my skin. So even though I had been previously diagnosed and done some one-off treatments in the past, the appointment earlier this year was the first time my current dermatologist had confirmed the diagnosis and started to help create a plan to see what will work for me.

There are a lot of options to try to treat this condition, but none of them are guaranteed to work. Some people react well to one medication or another. Some people need surgery. Sometimes one medication will work well for a while and then it won’t work anymore. And some of these medications can make you immunocompromised. That’s something to worry about in normal times, but now it’s even scarier. Even with me being fully vaccinated, I don’t want to be on anything that would make me at a higher risk for being a breakthrough case.

So at my last appointment, I was put on 2 different medications. One was a broad-spectrum antibiotic that I’ve been put on before. When I went to urgent care about a year ago for a bad flare, that’s what they put me on to make things better. But I usually have only been on that antibiotic for maybe a week or two. And this time, I was going to take a higher dose and take it twice a day. The other medication I was put on was to help with some side effects that the antibiotic can cause, so even though it wasn’t something that would necessarily help my autoimmune condition, it was something new to add to my medication routine.

And I’ve been following my dermatologist’s instructions to the letter these past 3 months. I wanted to give this the best chance I could because it would be the easiest solution for me. And it would be amazing if it ended up being the first thing we tried that got me into remission or as close to remission.

Over the past 3 months, I’ve stayed hopeful but I really didn’t think things were getting better. It’s not easy to tell, but I didn’t notice a huge difference in the flares I was getting. And the pain caused by the flares seem to stay at the same level no matter how bad things are, so I can’t really judge by the pain.

So when I went into my follow-up last week, I told my dermatologist that I didn’t think things were that much better for me. He asked me to guess how much better, and I said I thought it was maybe 5% better. But he took a look at the area that has the worst flare-ups and he said that it looked significantly better than that. He said he would guess maybe 25-30% improvement! The worst area isn’t the easiest for me to look at (it’s on my upper thighs) and I didn’t think of taking photos to see progress so I really had no clue it was improving that much! But because of how this antibiotic works, a lot of the improvement would have been right away so if that was all I needed to take I should have seen much better results.

But since this medication is helping, my dermatologist wanted me to stay on it (plus the medication I take for the side effects). And he said he wanted to add another medication to the plan. The new medication is usually used for very different issues like high blood pressure (I actually have very low blood pressure) or kidney issues. But it can also affect some hormones in your body that can make the flares not as bad (different hormones than regular female hormones that fluctuate every month). Just like any medication, there are side effects, but from what I have been able to look up they aren’t too bad. The biggest one is that you can get dehydrated easier than normal because it can pull water from your body. I used to overhydrate myself, so I think this might not be too much of an issue for me.

The only downside to this new medication is that it will take a while to know if it helps me. It usually will take 3-6 months before you know if it’s working. That’s a long time, but at least I’m already able to manage the flares a bit with the antibiotic that I’m on. So I’m not as desperate to see results. So the plan is for me to come back in another 3 months for another follow-up to see if there are any results and to make sure that any side effects I’m having aren’t causing me too many issues.

While I would have loved a better result, I think this is still a pretty good step in the right direction. And hopefully, it’s just a matter of time before things get even better. There is still a surgery that my dermatologist feels is a very good option for me, but if I can get things under control a bit more I might have a better result. And I’m not in any rush to get surgery. The only reason I would want to do it soon would be if I was told that was the only thing that would help me. But for now, I’m just continuing to take the medications I was prescribed and hope that my next follow-up will have even better results.

Still Doing More Planning (or Yet Another Almost Repeat Challenge)

Maybe it’s because I’ve been doing monthly challenges for so long or maybe it’s because the pandemic almost feels like a restart, but I’ve been doing a lot of repeat challenges lately. I’m ok with repeating them because it’s clear that I still have work to do on a previous challenge. And it seems like each time I do a repeat challenge, there is a little bit that is different from any other time I challenged myself to do it.

In April, I had a challenge that was similar to past ones. My challenge was to figure out what my real free time was each day. Because I had been working on scheduling things, I started to feel like I wasn’t having free time in my day even though I knew it was in my schedule. So I focused even more on making my schedule clear to me and easy to access so I could tell when I could step away from work things for the day.

I wasn’t sure exactly how I was going to accomplish this, but I actually found a tool at the beginning of April that has been a huge game-changer for me. It’s a little calendar app called Itsycal. It syncs with different calendars you might have and adds a little calendar with a daily schedule breakdown to your computer toolbar. I know that I could just open up the calendar app on any of my devices to see what my schedule is that day, but having it so easy to access has been great for me. I review it several times a day to make sure that I’m planning ahead for my day. I’m able to see when I’m done with scheduled work each day very clearly. And even though I do have things that I have to do each day that are not on my calendar, it still is so helpful to see all the things that have to be done at a certain time.

I do still need to work on feeling like I can step away from my computer when I know I’m done with work. But I’m getting better about being very clear about what I have to do and what I can wait to do if I’m feeling like I need a break.

And just like I’ve been doing a lot, this month my monthly challenge is another one that I’m bringing back from the past. I’ve had a lot of different monthly challenges about meal planning and cooking. I have gotten better about cooking because of the pandemic and that is something I am proud of. But meal planning is still something that overwhelms me a bit. The idea of planning for every day in a week at once is a lot. But I recently saw something online that inspired me to try meal planning in a different way.

This person had created weekly meal plans to pick from each week. They designed a full 7-day meal plan (their plan may have just been dinners, which is probably what I’d do too) and added it to their collection. Yes, it’s a lot more work upfront than regular meal planning, but after they created all these different weeks it was easy from then on. When they were getting ready to grocery shop for the next week, they picked one of the weekly plans they already created. Other people commented saying they had 6 or 8 weeks planned out and they just rotated from one week to the next so they didn’t even have to think which week to use.

It might still be overwhelming to create weekly meal plans, but I do like the idea of having them ready to go when I’m done with that initial work. I don’t know if I’m going to create enough at first to just rotate through them without needing to make more, but that is a nice goal to have in mind.

So my challenge this month is to at least get started on creating weekly meal plans. I want to see what I can pull together that will make grocery shopping easier and that will allow me to plan a bit more in advance. I don’t feel like I have to be super strict if I create these plans because I do want to have some room to get delivery food or go out to eat with a friend. But to me, the goal of a meal plan isn’t to be perfect but to have a plan in mind. I don’t want to be looking into my fridge or freezer with no clue on what I want to have for dinner.

Hopefully, I can take advantage of some of my newfound free time and get at least a few weeks planned out and maybe start implementing this idea!