Feeling Normal and Less Anxious (or Sorry I Keep Writing About The Same Thing)

A year ago when the pandemic started, I worried so much about what I would blog about. I wondered if I would have to cut back on how many days I’d have posts to go live. I wondered if every post would be the same and I’d have nothing to write about. I’m still surprised that I was able to maintain my regular blogging schedule even at the worst points of the pandemic.

But what I didn’t think about as much is how often I would write about things being normal again and how happy it makes me. Maybe it’s because things shutting down was such a shock that it seemed so different and the idea of things coming back seemed normal and boring. But I feel like I’m constantly writing about how happy I am as things come back into my life and things start to feel more like my life before.

Of course, I’m still being very cautious about what I do and where I go. I do have some anxiety as I go into a new place or am around a new person because I have to judge how safe things are. I know I’m pretty safe between being fully vaccinated and staying masked (except the few moments I am not masked in certain places). But I still need to be careful with my own safety and the safety of those around me.

But that anxiety about staying safe is easing as I get to do more things in my life. It’s not that I forget to be anxious or I don’t care. But my anxiety isn’t the primary emotion in my life anymore. I have other things to focus on so my mental health is in a much better place. My baseline isn’t where it was before, but it’s much closer to that than how low I was feeling during the worst of it. And as I add more and more back into my life, my baseline is getting to a better place.

I think having Orangetheory back into my life is a big thing that has made me feel better about everything. That routine and that workout helps me in so many ways. Even though it’s still tough to struggle with things I didn’t struggle with before, I’m feeling so much better about myself. I don’t even mind that I have to wake up so early to go to class. I’ve always appreciated Orangetheory and what it did for my body and mind, but I appreciate it at a whole new level now. And as I go to each class, I notice that working out in the studio is helping me feel better and better. I’m sure at some point that will level off, but for now it’s making a huge difference in my life.

Going out to eat was another big thing that has helped make me feel more normal and less anxious. This was a little harder for me to do since going out to eat means you aren’t wearing a mask. But going to Wood & Vine felt a lot safer than so many places I’ve been going in the past year. I knew I could trust the management and staff to be doing the right things to keep people safe, and I was right. I have seen some restaurants doing outdoor dining and the tables seem really close together. But Wood & Vine really was careful with how they set up the space, even when that meant they couldn’t have as many people there as they wanted.

Just going out to eat with a friend felt so normal and even though we were very aware of things, it also allowed us to forget that we were still in a pandemic for a little bit of time. And having any time where the pandemic isn’t dominating my thoughts is a nice escape. I spent far too long since last year thinking of nothing but my safety and health. And just like how Orangetheory is helping my mental health, having another focus is doing the same. Going out to eat is going to have to be a rare treat because I do want to be careful how much I go out, but it’s nice that it’s an option again in my life.

And even my dating life is starting to feel a bit more normal again! I’m still doing some video/virtual dates, but meeting up in person is getting a bit easier to do. Coffee dates are much easier now than they were for most of last year. I feel safer hanging out outside with someone new. Being on a date without a mask is still something I think I’m only ok with if the other person is vaccinated (and most people who are vaccinated are happy to show their vaccination cards to prove it) and there are still not a lot of options to have creative dates. But as things reopen again, there will be more places I can go on dates. And hopefully, just like with so much else, things will continue to feel safer for me and I won’t be as worried about my health.

My life is still not fully back to normal, but in the past month I have been able to have a lot of things back. And I’ve been feeling more calm and relaxed and home, which is having a lot of positive effects. I’m able to sleep better. I’m more focused. I am enjoying silly little things again. I feel like the doom and gloom feeling is still in the background, but it’s not taking over my life. And I needed this happiness back.

Just like with so many other posts where I have written about things being closer to normal, I had no idea how much I needed this until I had it. I knew I wasn’t doing great last year, but I had no clue how bad it had gotten for me until it got better. And I’m trying to stay hopeful that it is only going to continue to get better from now on.

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