Everyone right now is learning how to do things in a new way. There are so many people who have never worked from home that are trying to figure out how to manage things (and they are learning that it’s not as easy as it might have seemed). We are trying to figure out better and safer ways to get the supplies that we need in our daily lives and reevaluating what is necessary and what is not. And we are working on figuring out a new normal and seeing what we can continue doing.
And yes, figuring out our new normal includes some frivolous things. Not everything right now is serious and it’s ok to focus on something that isn’t as important as others. For example, I have a few friends that have had to cancel their weddings because of everything. It’s ok to be upset that it’s canceled even though they know it’s for the best. Or for kids to be upset that they can’t see their friends. I’m figuring out some things that I know are not that important and being upset that I’m not able to do things the way that I’m used to. Everyone is working through this right now and we each have different ways of dealing with it.
In one of the dating related Facebook groups that I’m in, the discussion about dating right now has been a very active topic. There are the obvious things like how we all know that we cannot go out and go on a date with someone. Some people have discussed temporarily moving in with someone that they weren’t super serious about yet so they would still be able to see each other during isolation. Honestly, if I was seeing someone regularly right now, I’d probably be doing that too. Isolation seems to be the make it or break it point for a lot of people. Either they are trying to find a way to be together right now or they realize that they don’t care enough about the other person so they end things.
And then there are lots of people who aren’t seeing anyone regularly or seriously and are debating if they should just temporarily give up on dating right now. There is a lot of reason why this makes sense. In my dating profile, I have a statement that I’m looking for something real and not just a pen pal. I hate messaging back and forth on the apps. I would prefer to meet someone right away because I have had amazing chemistry with someone over text and no chemistry in person. But now, messaging is really all we can do.
But at the same time, I’ve been looking at this as a moment to change up my dating strategy. Maybe not getting to know someone without being in person could be a good thing. It’s not like I have another option. I have to find ways to connect with someone without being together if I want to keep trying. And at the same time, I still want to protect some of my personal details like I always have. For example, I don’t feel comfortable giving out my phone number until I’ve met someone because I like to know they are real and not a scammer.
Some apps are making things a bit easier than others. For example, on Bumble they have a built-in phone and video chat feature. So you can talk to someone on the phone or have a video call without having to give out your number. That’s a nice thing and I wish other apps would have that feature (at least for right now). And I have been using those features with guys that I have matched with in the past week. It’s still not as good as getting to meet someone in person, but it is an improvement over texting.
I have no clue if I will actually connect with someone right now. Or if I do connect with someone that it will last until whenever we would be able to meet up in person. In normal times, I’m not on dating apps just to talk to people. I am on there for the purpose of trying to find someone. But now, I’m relaxing on that idea a bit. I still would love to find my person, but I also am craving any human interaction and dating apps do help to provide that. I’m not just swiping right on everyone to match with anyone and everyone. I still have my standards with who I would want to spend time. But it’s feeling a bit looser and I’m open to talking to people I might have rejected before. Maybe this could help me find someone better than who I have been meeting or maybe not. I have no idea. All I know is that this is one part of my life that I’m not giving up on just because things are changing in the world.
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