Last week, I was at urgent care on Monday. I hadn’t planned on being at the hospital for any doctor’s appointments any time soon, so that was something that broke up my routine a bit. But the next day, I had a scheduled appointment. This time, it was another appointment with my therapist. But it had already been planned to be a virtual one, so I knew I would be able to stay home for it.
When I scheduled the appointment, I was still working my normal hours. So I had a lot of free time before my appointment. Also, this appointment was originally about the new medication that I was put on, but I had already stopped that medication (after emailing with my therapist). So I had a lot of time to think about what we would discuss.
I was still in a lot of pain and discomfort from the cellulitis, but I knew that wasn’t something I necessarily had to discuss in my appointment. But it still made me laugh a bit when my therapist opened our appointment by asking how I was doing. My only response was that was a loaded question. I explained that mentally I was doing the best that could be expected and if I was not stressed or worried that maybe that would be concerning. Fortunately, she understood exactly what I meant. Her main concern was that I wasn’t having any symptoms that were concerning me or that I was doing significantly worse than before.
We did discuss the medication I was briefly on and I explained that the reaction I was having could have something to do with the state of the world, but I wasn’t sure. And I wasn’t willing to risk trying it because the symptoms were concerning (I was having some panic attacks and I felt my OCD getting worse). And I think she agreed with me that it would be very difficult to know if a new medication is helping me. And if I tried something new and it did help, maybe it only helped because of how crazy everything is and in normal circumstances, it wouldn’t be helping. It’s weird to feel like I’m putting things on hold, but that’s the best case right now. I want to try some other medications to see if they help, but I don’t feel ok doing it right now.
I’m glad that my therapist understood how I felt and didn’t think I needed to worry about trying anything new right now. She agrees that my focus should just be on being ok and feeling safe with how things are. And when things start to normalize a bit, then I can start working on seeing if another medication can benefit me or not. I have another virtual appointment in a few months, and maybe by then, we will be in a new phase of reopening. I’m guessing the appointment will stay virtual, which is fine with me because I do prefer those. But it would be nice to get to a point where I can start working on bettering myself and not just getting through this.
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Some More Virtual Therapy (or Trying Another Medication)
Another Isolated Therapy Session (or My Anxiety Is Normal)
Another Virtual Doctor Appointment (or Planning Some Next Steps)
Following My Doctor’s Instructions (or Days Off From Vyvanse)
Having A Lot Of Repeat Days (or More Organizing and More Virtual Hangouts)
A Super Easy Therapy Appointment (or Just Doing A Check-In)
