Tag Archives: pandemic

Taking More Steps Back Out Into The World (or Isolation Feels Like My Normal)

Posted on April 2, 2021 | Comments Off on Taking More Steps Back Out Into The World (or Isolation Feels Like My Normal)

We are almost 13 months into the pandemic. There are so many things that we have been different for over a year and just feel normal to us now. Wearing a mask is something I don’t love because it makes me feel a bit claustrophobic, but is a habit to me now. The few times I’ve been around others without a mask almost feel weird. Shopping for some basics before I run really low is another thing that I used to not do but is normal to me now. I don’t hoard things, but I also don’t let myself get to where I really need to get something within a day or two. For example, I used to not care if I ran out of contact lens solution because I’d just go to the store the next day. Now, when I see it’s getting low, I plan a trip to get that and other things within the next week. I’m not necessarily scared of not being able to get something, but I like to not feel like I really need it immediately.

But there are a few things I’ve gotten used to that I’m not as ok with. I have become a bit more of a germaphobe in the last year (just like so many others). I’m not fearful to the point of not leaving my house ever, but I do plan when I’m going to be out in public so I don’t have to do it as often and I can combine errands so I do a lot in one day and not one thing each day. I do miss having my errands more spread out since it’s a great way to feel like I’m done with one part of my day and moving on to the next (like what I want in my challenge this month). And maybe soon I will feel better about going out more often. I’m considered fully vaccinated this weekend, so that’s making me feel a little more protected even though I will still be doing a lot of the same precautions.

But I am taking a few more chances that before seemed like unnecessary risks. They are silly things that I’m doing, but it’s helping me ease back into what my life was like and not always feeling like I need to be as isolated as I’ve been. For example, it had been a while since I took my car to the mechanic. I wasn’t worried about it at all last year. I didn’t really drive that much the entire year. And I probably wouldn’t have worried about it just yet except that I got an alert on my car about my tire pressure. This is something I know I can do myself, but I’m also going to be going to Santa Barbara this weekend and I wanted to make sure my car didn’t have any other issues before I drove (I have too much history of car issues in my old car on longer drives). So earlier this week, I went to the mechanic after work.

My plan originally was to wait there for my car to be done since I could just wear a mask and read my book. But they thought it might take a bit longer so they offered to drive me home and they’d come to get me when it was done. While I have been in cars with friends and family over the past year, this was the first time I was in the car with someone I didn’t know. Not something I thought about too much before, but something I also wouldn’t have done even a month or two ago. Even though we were both wearing masks and had the windows open, it only felt ok to me since I’m almost considered fully vaccinated. I know I’m probably overcautious and paranoid, but that’s how my thinking went.

I want to feel ok doing things like going to stores for clothes and other errands instead of doing deliveries. I’ve only gone into a few stores in the past year (I can honestly only think of 1 CVS, 1 Vons, and 1 Trader Joe’s). I know it will take time for me to feel ok going to restaurants or movies again, but I still want to find things that push me out of the isolation bubble I’ve been in. Once I go back to Orangetheory (which hopefully will be soon), I think that will help me a lot. It’s going to be slow steps forward to getting back into being in the public again. A stark contrast when compared to how suddenly everything shut down.

I’m grateful that I’ve had the ability to stay home and isolated for the past year. I know not everyone could do that and many were not able to stay healthy. And I’m also lucky that I live in a state that seems to be having fewer cases and not seeing an increase (at least for now). And while I do still need to be careful and safe because things aren’t back to normal yet, I’m also making sure that I get out of the habit of being so isolated and start getting used to the possiblity of being out and about again.

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A Very Fast Vaccine Appointment (or I Still Am A Bit In Shock)

Posted on March 26, 2021 | Comments Off on A Very Fast Vaccine Appointment (or I Still Am A Bit In Shock)

When I had my first vaccine appointment 3 weeks ago, I didn’t believe it was going to happen until it did. And there were a lot of reasons why I felt that way. Getting my appointment was much easier than what many of my friends experienced. I was worried I’d get turned away for some reason or told they made a mistake letting me have an appointment. But I think the biggest reason why it didn’t feel real was this was something we had all been waiting on for a year and I couldn’t believe that it was finally happening. It wasn’t going to change much for me, but it was still a big deal.

I had my second vaccine appointment this past weekend, and it was a very different experience for me. First, I wasn’t worried about not being able to get my vaccine this time. Once you get the first vaccine, you are promised your second appointment. I know there have been issues with some vaccine locations having to cancel appointments because they didn’t get the vaccine delivered, but they always rescheduled them and it seemed like a very simple system. I also knew that I didn’t have to have any of the paperwork from my job like I brought with me the first time. And I knew much more about what to expect with the appointment so it wasn’t a big unknown for me. And I’ll admit it was nice to feel less stressed about going into my appointment.

I was still worried about passing out and all the other concerns I have with needles, but having normal worries was nice compared to all the extra worries I had before.

When I went in for my first vaccine, it was a pretty easy process. When I arrived they did a temperature check, I got some paperwork to fill out, they made my second appointment before I got the first vaccine, I went to the waiting area for them to call my name and had some time to play games on my phone to calm me down, and then after the vaccine I waited in a different waiting area for 15 minutes. I think from the time I arrived until I left was about an hour.

This time, things started the same. I got there and had a temperature check. They handed me the paperwork and asked me if it was my first or second vaccine. I told them it was my second and that I got the Pfizer vaccine. They walked me over to a desk where a nurse checked me in while I finished working on the paperwork. Last time, I was checking in for a few minutes but it took a little longer to do the paperwork, so I finished filling it out in the waiting area. This time, I asked them where the waiting area was so I could finish filling it out and they told me they were ready for me to go back for the vaccine!

They had changed things up a bit compared to a few weeks ago so they split up patients based on the vaccine they were getting. And that day, only a handful of us were getting the Pfizer vaccine, so they were pretty much ready for us the moment we walked in. I wasn’t expecting that and it was a bit of a whirlwind. But within 5 minutes of me arriving I was already in the post-vaccine waiting area!

I didn’t completely pass out for the shot this time, but I was really worried I would. Things happened so quickly and I didn’t have time to calm myself down. I’m glad that I was ok, but I’ve also learned how important it is for me to have the time to relax before a shot or IV.

Waiting in the post-vaccine waiting area was easy. You just have to be there for 15 minutes and then you can leave as long as you haven’t had any reactions. I didn’t have any immediate reactions (nor was I expecting to have any) so I was able to leave after the 15 minutes. And within 30 minutes of me parking my car, I was back in my car and ready to drive home! I was shocked how fast everything happened that I forgot to take a post-vaccine selfie in my car! And by the time I got home, I wasn’t feeling up for a photo so I only took a photo of my vaccine card.

And I did experience some side effects from the second shot, but nothing too horrible. I was very fatigued for about 2 days and needed to take some naps (although I’ve also been having other sleeping issues so I can’t guarantee this was just because of the shot). And I did get a bump that itched on my arm that lasted a little while. While it was not fun to have the bump on my arm, I didn’t consider it that big of a deal. Even if I had a fever or flu-like symptoms, it would have been worth it.

I’ll be considered fully vaccinated in about a week. But just like I wrote after my first vaccine, I’m not going to change my behavior too much. I might be more open to meeting up with a friend one on one without worrying as much as I’ve worried for the past year. And I’m looking into doing the OTF Outdoor workouts or the studio workouts when they reopen. But I’m still not going to go out that much and when I do run errands I’ll be wearing a mask. Things are finally starting to turn around a bit and we don’t want that progress to end or go back to how they were when things were much worse.

I do know I’m very lucky that I was able to get my vaccines done. But for others in California, it looks like they will have the same chance soon too! Vaccines are going to be opening up a lot in April. Starting on April 1st, everyone 50 and older will be eligible. And starting on April 15th, everyone 16 and older will be eligible! I know that it will still take time for everyone to get their vaccines, but this is still a great step forward and will just continue to make things safer for all of us!

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A Year Into The Pandemic (or This Is Still Such A Weird Time)

Posted on March 16, 2021 | Comments Off on A Year Into The Pandemic (or This Is Still Such A Weird Time)

We marked 1 year of this pandemic recently. The past week or so has been a lot of 1-year markers for many of us. 1 year since people went to their office. 1 year since they went to a gym. 1 year since they’ve socialized with friends and family. 1 year since things seemed “normal”.

I’ve had a lot of those thoughts recently. I remember the last normal feeling day. I just wrote about the last time I went to Orangetheory in the studio. The last musical that I went to was just over a year ago. The last big social event I went to was over a year ago and I remember us all talking about COVID and being grateful that it wasn’t affecting us too much. If only we knew what was coming for us.

And I remember when everything shut down. I was terrified about what was happening and I didn’t know what to do. There was so much fear in those first few weeks of the pandemic. And while I wasn’t trying to hoard supplies or anything like that, I know that I did a little bit of panic buying. But I also was hoping to find a way to only need to get groceries every 2 weeks. That didn’t last too long for other reasons and now I’m doing grocery delivery about once a week and then going to Trader Joe’s maybe once or twice a month for other things I can’t get delivered.

Even though things are a bit calmer with grocery shopping, I do still have some anxiety from over a year ago. When I’m running low on something that was harder to get a year ago, I start to worry. I am buying refills for things sooner than I used to because I want to allow time in case I can’t get what I need. Going to the grocery store still makes me anxious. I’m grateful that at least there aren’t big lines at the stores anymore, so I can do my errands a bit quicker. But it’s still an errand that I am not always happy to do because of the anxiety.

So many of my friends have been sharing recently about how a year ago their work life was so different. This is one thing that doesn’t feel too different for me. I did lose one job and get another one, but I’ve been working from home for a long time now so it doesn’t seem like a huge change. I have had more changes recently with work because of some new responsibilities and other things connected to my work, but these are also things that I was hoping would happen so it feels much more like I’m finally getting closer to where I want to be with work.

So much has changed in my life when I look back at a year ago, but I think the biggest change has been the feeling of isolation. I still struggle so much with feeling like I’m on my own little planet and that there’s nobody out there doing what I’m doing. I know that isn’t true, but the isolation makes me feel that way. And I have been working on being a little less isolated. I still am not really going out or seeing that many people, but I have allowed myself to see friends who I know are taking the same precautions that I am. I’m less than 3 weeks away before I can feel safer seeing friends one on one, even if they aren’t vaccinated. And I can’t wait for that time. A year ago, I never really knew how lonely I could feel. I was fine having alone time, but loneliness is so different and something that I wasn’t mentally or physically prepared for.

I know we are getting closer and closer to the end of this pandemic. More people are being vaccinated every day. Case numbers are going down and hospitalizations have been going down even faster. I know there is a goal to have an almost normal 4th of July this year, and that would be amazing.

A year ago, I know that we were told that we were going to be isolating for 2 weeks to make things safe. I had a feeling it wouldn’t just be 2 weeks. But if someone told me a year ago that we’d still be doing this a year later, I wouldn’t have believed it. I also don’t know if I could have handled it knowing I had a year of loneliness ahead of me. But I have made it through this past year, and I’m very lucky to be able to say that. And I will make it through whatever time left we have to do this.

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