Still Wondering About The New Normal (or Baby Steps Back)

I’ve written several posts about my curiosity about what the new normal will be like or my fears about things reopening. It’s a very weird time and I think many people have the same thoughts that I do. In some ways, I want things to be back to feeling normal, and in other ways, I’m terrified about it. I think I was feeling a bit better about it before we started reopening things in LA because it did seem like the number of cases each day was doing down. Now, we are increasing again and that’s not what should be happening.

I know that they said that there may be an increase in cases as things open and that there are other numbers to consider. Some people say the number of people hospitalized is a better thing to track. Some say to only look at the number of people who passed away. I have been watching all the numbers because I really don’t know what is best and I’d rather have a good overall idea of what is happening. And even though I am staying informed, I still am very confused about things and really can’t tell if I should be more or less worried than I am right now. So for now, I’m pretty much not changing what I’ve been doing for the past few months. I don’t really leave my house for anything except essential errands and I try to limit those to once a week. I will have a few other outings happening, but I’m not doing a lot (I’ll write more about those outings soon).

Staying home is really the safest thing, but I know I can’t do this forever. And since I will have to start living my life again eventually, I’ve been trying to plan how to live a bit more normally. I have gotten a lot of masks in different styles because I expect masks to be a part of normal life for a while. I do have some that I think I can use for workouts if I do go back to Orangetheory. I might look into some that seem to be designed for working out. I have some that I feel are cute because I don’t want to just have boring masks. If I’m going to wear them for a long time, I want to make it as fun for me as possible.

For a while, going to get groceries was very stressful for me. Seeing the lines at the stores, worrying about what I would or wouldn’t be able to find when I get inside, and just feeling like I’m experiencing something very weird made me so uneasy. I have been doing a lot of grocery deliveries because it made things a bit easier for me. But I can’t get all the stores I might shop at delivered to me. So I’ve been doing a bit more grocery shopping on my own. And while sometimes I have still had to wait in line, the last 2 times I went to one store I was able to just walk right in. And they had everything in stock so I was able to get everything I wanted. It’s odd that being able to get things I want feels so special. I need to stop thinking like things are scarce and I might not be able to make a plan for shopping. I want to get back into making real shopping lists to work on making meals and not just shopping to see what I can find.

I haven’t done a lot of stuff outside of my house so I don’t know what it’s like to go shopping in stores or eating at a restaurant. I don’t need to do either of those things so I’m fine waiting. But I have been paying attention to the new rules and policies so that I have a better idea of what might be expected if I do venture out to something like that.

Things do change a lot and quickly, so the steps I’m seeing now to the new normal might not be the steps that happen. Being an observer of these policies does help me feel better and since I’m not directly worried about them the changes don’t bother me too much. I just stay on top of knowing what is going on so I am prepared. The new normal is starting and I have no clue how long it will take until I feel like things are really normal again. It might take years until I feel like I can be as comfortable being out of my house as I used to. I hope it doesn’t take that long, but then again I never thought I’d be staying in my house like this for over 3 months.

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