Tag Archives: doctor

A Just Ok Doctor Follow Up (or These May Be A Part Of My Routine For A Little While Longer)

Even though I have multiple ongoing health issues, seeing my doctors on a pretty regular basis wasn’t a part of my life until earlier this year. Most of my health issues are things that only require one or two doctor appointments a year. But earlier this year I started seeing my dermatologist regularly for a few different issues I was trying to get under control.

The main thing I’ve been working on with my doctor is my autoimmune condition. I go back and forth with calling it autoimmune or inflammatory, because it can be classified either way. But no matter what it is, it’s annoying and can be very painful. And this year, I’ve been trying new ways to try to get it under control and possibly in remission.

I have tried a few different medications this year, but there’s one that I’ve been on for most of the year. But you can’t be on it forever, so at my last appointment, I had to stop the medication and just try one other one I’ve been on. So when I went in for another follow-up appointment last week, it was to see how I’m doing and continue working on a plan for helping me.

Unfortunately, my condition has flared up significantly since my last appointment. It’s not as bad as it was before I started working with my doctor, but it was worse than last time. I told my doctor that if before starting medications I was at a 10 and at my last appointment I was at a 1, I was probably at a 4 or 5 right now. And I also am dealing with a bit of stress right now, and stress can make everything worse. I’m still doing better than I was from the start, but it’s frustrating to have such a setback.

But I was reminded that my body is also getting used to coming off a medication I was taking for about 10 months, and there can be a bit of a reaction to that. So that did make me feel better.

And my doctor and I did discuss next steps. There are a few treatments that were discussed before that he doesn’t think would be a smart choice for me anymore (including one that would put me in an immunocompromised state). We discussed one medication I was on before and I didn’t like the side effects, and he understood why I wouldn’t want to try it again. And then he discussed surgery with me.

Surgery doesn’t necessarily make my condition go away, but it would treat the parts of my body that are affected by it and it can be a permanent fix. Because the places on my body where I have flares would essentially be turned into scar tissue, I wouldn’t have the ability to have the same issues. But this is not an easy surgery. There would be weeks of recovery and allowing my body to heal very large wounds. I know this could have the best results for me, but I’m hesitant to do it since it wouldn’t stop everything. It would just make the spots that are the worst on my body no longer be like that.

But there is no need for me to rush to decide anything about surgery. I will have another follow-up appointment in about a month and a half to see how I’m doing. And maybe there will be other treatment options we discuss then or maybe my doctor will recommend I at least have an initial appointment with the surgeon who could operate on me. I’m not sure what the next steps will be, but just like I’ve been doing this year, I’m just going to continue to try to work on this and get my body and my autoimmune condition in a better place.

More Health Work (or An Afternoon Of Dealing With Needles)

I’ve been slowly catching up on the health things I didn’t do last year when things were a lot scarier with the pandemic. It’s a process to catch up, but I think I finally am seeing the end of what I need to do. And some of the things that were on my catch-up list were things that I put off for a bit so I could combine appointments. I especially wanted to do that when it came to doing blood work.

I knew I would need to have my blood drawn now so I could get my liver MRI (they have to check kidney function before an MRI since I have to be able to process the contrast they use without issues). But when I went in for my regular check-up recently, my doctor mentioned that I hadn’t done just the regular check-up blood work in several years. In fact, the last time I did it was right before my liver tumors were found. The blood work showed something wrong with my liver and I was about to do another blood draw when the tumors were found and we realized that was the reason. So along with some of the specific blood work I needed, she added in all the regular tests too.

I put off doing my blood draw until I knew I needed to do my kidney function test. There’s no point in me doing those on different days. And I also figured I might as well get my flu shot and torture myself with more needles (I couldn’t get my Covid booster at that time, or I might have done that too). And I did it on a day that I knew I’d have lots of time since I never know how I will react to needles. I’ve been doing better lately, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t faint in the future.

Fortunately, when I went, the hospital was pretty empty so I didn’t have to wait a long time to get my blood drawn. Unfortunately, between all the blood work I needed to have done, I needed 6 vials to be drawn. That’s just a long time to make sure I don’t faint. I got very lightheaded and I was worried a few times I was about to pass out, but I made it through. But I must have looked horrible because the doctor who did my blood draw didn’t want me to leave right away and asked if I needed to be seen by anyone. I knew I’d be fine (plus if I had doctors come to look at me, it was probably going to be expensive and take several hours). But I waited about 10 minutes before I left so he knew I’d be ok.

After that, I had to go to urgent care to get my flu shot because the tent they do flu shots in was already closed that day (I didn’t think about it having reduced hours on the weekend). But that was pretty quick too since they were able to get me into a room within a few minutes. That went a bit better than the blood work and I didn’t have any moments I felt like I was going to faint. I just had to deal with the reaction I usually get from flu shots (just feeling a bit run down and a sore arm, but it’s worth it).

Spending my day doing work with needles isn’t my ideal way to spend a day off, but I needed to do this. And I’m glad I did because almost all my blood work has improved since the last time I got it done! There are a few things that are a little out of the ideal range, but they were out of the range in the past and I’m much closer to normal now. There’s nothing in my blood work showing I’m at a higher risk for anything. I know some people might assume I’m pre-diabetic or have high cholesterol, but both are in the normal range and everything seems to show that I am healthy! Even though I was pretty certain that would be the case, it’s nice to have real concrete proof of that too.

Now I just have 2 more things involving needles that I know I need to do: get the IV for my MRI and get my booster shot. And I hope both of those go as smoothly as this all did.

A Fast And Easy Doctor Appointment (or A Simple Follow-Up)

I think most people know that when they schedule a doctor’s appointment that there is a good chance it will run late. I do try to book the first appointment of the day or the first appointment after lunch since that is usually the best chance for things to be on time. But with my work schedule now, I can’t really do that as much. So I have been booking them toward the end of the day to limit how much work I have to miss.

This time, it was for another follow-up with my dermatologist. I have had these on a pretty frequent basis this year, and it’s mainly to monitor progress with a few different issues. I have something on my foot that my doctor tried to freeze off and we are seeing how to get my autoimmune condition to be in remission or to just be less severe. For my foot, it’s a simple check-up with seeing if I need another treatment. With my autoimmune condition, it’s a bit more complicated. I’ve tried a few different medications this year, and the first choice one is something you can’t take forever. So I knew going into this appointment that I was going to have to stop that medication. And because I was doing follow-ups on two things and was going to discuss a medication plan going forward, I assumed this would be a longer appointment.

But I was so wrong. I arrived 15 minutes before my appointment to check in, and I was taken back within minutes of arriving! And I didn’t even have much of a chance to put things down before the doctor came in! Normally, I have to change into a gown, but this time I didn’t which was fine since there would have been no time to do that anyway.

And even though we were doing two different follow-ups, it was actually very simple. For my foot, it was an easy decision to do another treatment. And that only takes about a minute or two. And for my autoimmune condition, since I already knew that we were ending one medication it was just a reminder that I should stop taking it now and only continue the other medication I’ve been taking for it. He did check my skin and agreed that things were looking better, so there was no need to discuss much more than that. Over the past few appointments, we have discussed surgical options (which is still something I am considering) and what medications or other methods to try to get me into remission. But this time, the plan is simple. I’m going to stay on the one medication I’m taking for my autoimmune condition and we are going to see how it goes.

And because I have to be back for another follow-up in 6 weeks for my foot, we can reevaluate things then and if I seem to be getting worse I can figure out a new plan with my doctor. I am hopeful that I won’t get worse because the medication I’m on now was only something I started at my last appointment and I’ve had significant improvement since starting it. So I think it’s from this medication and not the one I’ve been taking for a while.

Even without having much of a game plan going forward or any changes right now, I’m happy with these next steps because I want to see what happens. I don’t love being on a ton of medications and removing one from my day is a good thing. And maybe I won’t need to add something else back in.

This was a pretty easy follow-up with minimal stuff needed. The longest part was the treatment on my foot, but fortunately, I’m used to them so I can tolerate the pain and not need breaks. And before I knew it, I was ready to leave my appointment and by some miracle, I made it home in time to work a little extra time so I didn’t miss out on any pay that day! I think that makes this appointment a total win for me!

Working On More Regular Doctor Appointments (or Catching Up On What I Missed)

Like so many people last year, I didn’t make it to a lot of regular medical appointments for most of 2020 because of the pandemic. I obviously did what I had to do when things weren’t great and I started regularly going to the dentist again after having some issues, but a lot of my routine appointments were put off and I figured I would do them when things were safer. And even though I have been vaccinated for about 6 months now, I didn’t get a chance to start planning routine appointments again until recently.

I might have forgotten to schedule them for longe but I did get an email alert from my insurance about some routine tests being due. They aren’t things I do every year, but it made sense I might be due for tests since I knew I skipped last year. So I tried to work on scheduling appointments around my work time (which isn’t easy now since I’m full-time and have to take time off to go). And I got a couple of things set up that started this week.

I had my regular well-woman checkup this week, which was one of the alerts I had gotten from my insurance. I found out when I got to the appointment, I wasn’t actually due for another year, but I figured I might as well do it all since I was already there. And while it’s not a fun appointment, it’s necessary to make sure I’m staying healthy and I don’t discover another random thing that is wrong with me. I’ve been feeling pretty ok lately, outside of some mental stress due to the pandemic, so I think everything is ok with me. But it will be good to know for sure.

I’ve got a few medical tests that I should have done last year but it was ok to push them off another year, so when I was at my appointment my doctor was able to start the process for me to schedule them. For example, my last liver MRI was supposed to be last year, but I was told to wait on it due to the pandemic. So hopefully when I do it this year, this will be the last one I need. But because it’s been almost 2 years since my last one, I needed a new order to get scheduled for the MRI. Normally, I call my liver surgeon so he can order it, but my doctor was able to put in the order for me so I could save that time. I still need to schedule it, but I’ll probably have it in the next month or two. It just depends on the time options. I also got an order for my next mammogram, which was something else I skipped last year. I don’t have to do regular ones just yet, but it’s good for me to do them.

Also, since my last regular appointment, I had my appointment with the geneticist so I could get breast MRIs covered by my insurance as a cancer screening. The geneticist said that I didn’t need to start doing those MRIs just yet, but I wanted to confirm that with my doctor. And she agrees, so I have a few more years before those MRIs are regular screenings for me.

And the last thing I set up were some regular blood tests that I haven’t done in a few years. This wasn’t just skipped because of the pandemic, but because I don’t always do them regularly. But they are all just boring things like blood sugar, liver enzymes (which I know were really off before, but it was because of my tumor), cholesterol, and things like that. I probably should be better about checking these things regularly and I need to see how often I really should do them.

Considering that I missed last year’s annual appointment and a few other doctor appointments that I usually would have, I think this appointment went really smoothly. Obviously, I don’t have test results from any tests I did yet, but there’s nothing I’m worried about and nothing my doctor was worried about. Honestly, the most worrisome thing during my appointment was the burst blood vessel in my eye. I know it still looks pretty bad, but as soon as my doctor walked into the room I reassured her that I was safe at home and nothing bad had happened to me. And she’s known me for years, so she knew I was ok and didn’t have to question me too much about it. And I think we both had a good laugh over the fact that I have had a few different suspicious-looking injuries that could look bad but they are actually from something innocent.

Hopefully, I can get the rest of my regular appointments in soon. I have almost all of them scheduled, but if things get really bad again with the pandemic I might have to put them off. But I’m hoping this appointment this week was me kicking off getting back on track with staying on top of my health.

A Super Fast Therapy Appointment (or Having Therapy On An Insanely Stressful Day)

My therapy appointments are usually 6 months apart, so it’s been a while since I’ve had one. I mostly have therapy as medication check-ins and not to talk things out, so there isn’t a big need to go often unless I am testing out a new medication. Even though they are only medication check-ins, I do still discuss how I’m feeling and how I’m doing, but they don’t go as in-depth as they did when I was attending therapy more often.

And I was doing video appointments before the pandemic, but I appreciate having video appointments even more now. It’s so much easier for me not to have to leave my house, especially when I have such a full work schedule. And when I booked my most recent appointment, I was basing it on the idea that my work schedule would be close to what it used to be before the pandemic. I was hopeful that things would be coming back, so I figured that was a smart decision. I didn’t consider that I’d be working more hours so the time that used to be right after work would be during work. But since it was a video appointment, I figured I could multi-task a bit for a quick appointment.

What I wasn’t expecting was to have my therapy appointment on the most stressful day of my customer service job. Without going into too much detail about how things work at my company, it was the day that our clients were informed about the start of some things for August. And while most were happy and were messaging us a quick thank you, this also had a lot of clients who thought they had canceled or changed their service reach out questioning what happened. Most of the miscommunication was through a partner company we work with, but it still created a ton of work for me. And right now, I’m pretty much the only person doing the customer service work. So when I had to log into my video appointment, I was in the middle of the craziness of responding to people.

I’ve said this before, but I’m grateful my therapist knows me. I’m sure I looked frenzied and in a panic because I was trying to get work done. But I explained to her about the number of messages I was trying to respond to and she understood. So she helped to make the appointment go quickly. She asked if I was ready to start testing other medications, but I think she agreed with me that it’s still not the right time since I will want to know if any side effects are due to the current circumstances in the world or the medication. I do think a change might be in order, but waiting feels right to me for now.

And we did discuss my current stress levels but I explained how it was a very temporary situation and likely only for that day. In the recent past, I discussed stress related to the pandemic and not being vaccinated yet, but now that’s not as big of a concern for me. I’m still being careful and I’m glad that I will be eligible for a booster shot soon, but I think now that I know I’m at least a little protected has helped to bring down my fear a lot. And the stress being unvaccinated caused me was very different from what I was feeling due to work. My work stress wasn’t really in my control, but it felt more in control to me.

After a bit of a check-in so she knew I was doing ok, my therapist agreed that keeping my medication the same was a good plan and she set me up for another 6 months through the pharmacy and booked my next appointment in February next year. And I know that if I need to contact her for any reason before my next appointment, I can do that and get another appointment sooner. Or I can email back and forth with her if I have questions or concerns.

I have no clue what the world will be like in 6 months. Maybe I’ll finally be ready to discuss changing up my medications. Maybe it will be better in the world but I won’t be ready to change things up. I really have no clue. But at least for now, I’m sticking with the plan that has been working for me and continuing to do the other things I need to do to get into recovery with my eating disorder.

And Another Dermatologist Check-In (or Having Changes Be Routine)

I’ve been working with my dermatologist on my autoimmune condition since the beginning of this year. It’s not the first time I’ve worked on it, but it’s the first time I’ve had a doctor who understands the condition and is really working on a plan with me. And while I’m so grateful to have someone working with me on it, it’s frustrating when it’s not a simple solution. You don’t just take one medication to make it get better. It’s not even one type of medication. It’s testing out a lot of different options that can improve things, but not necessarily cure them. And I know it can be a long process, but I still wish it wasn’t like this.

So far, I have tried one medication I’ve been on a lot that is usually used as an antibiotic and I actually took after getting cellulitis. Then at my last appointment, another medication was added that can help make things better and is usually prescribed for blood pressure issues. The antibiotic one does bother my stomach, but it’s not that bad and I have figured out ways to make it more tolerable. So I was fine with that one. But the new one that was added last time was a bit of a wild card. I naturally have low blood pressure, so taking something that could lower it more had the potential to cause some side effects.

And it did do just that. I stuck it out for the past 2 months, but I’ve been dealing with having lightheadedness and some dizziness. And I would usually feel it more when I was working out. There are other things that I thought could be side effects, but I wasn’t too bothered by them. But I really wanted to try this new medication out the entire time to see if it got better.

So when I had my follow-up with my dermatologist this week, I told him what I was experiencing and he wanted me to stop taking it. He actually said I probably should have emailed in and he would have told me to stop sooner, but I really wanted to give it a chance. But I’m also glad to be no longer taking it since it was annoying to have side effects that felt so similar to the vertigo that I had a few months ago.

Since the new medication didn’t work, I’m now trying another one. This one is usually given to regulate blood sugar (something I don’t need to worry about) but it has shown to also help the condition I have. Just like any other medication, it does have side effects, but most of them seem to be things I already deal with such as nausea. I just have to be careful with timing when I take the medication so that I’m taking it with food. Not too hard of a thing to do and I’m already decent at doing that with the other medication I take.

But then, I got some news I wasn’t expecting at my appointment. The antibiotic that I’ve been on (that I do see helping now) can’t be taken for a long time. I’m already close to the limit of taking it and when I go for my next follow-up, I will need to stop. While I knew the medication wasn’t a permanent fix, I guess I didn’t think about when I would have to stop taking it. And there is a chance that this new medication will work (and it can be something I take for a long time) so it won’t matter. Or maybe I’ll hit a level of remission and I’ll be fine in a few months. You never know.

Before I left my appointment, my dermatologist went over a few of the other issues we discussed last time (everything is fine and I’m looking like I’m having progress). And we discussed a bit about the surgery I can get for my autoimmune condition. Right now, I don’t want to do surgery. There are still other medications I can try and surgery would have a long recovery time. It is the only permanent solution, but if I can be in remission that works for me too. I just have to see if that’s possible. So I have to continue testing out medications until I’m out of options, then I’ll think more about surgery.

I guess I’ll see in about 3 months what the new plan is. The only thing I know for sure is that the plan I’m doing now will be changing then since it has to. But as long as I’m working on it and have a doctor who is willing to do that too, then I’m finding ways to be ok with this frustration in not having answers just yet.

A Dermatologist Follow-Up (or I’m Not Always The Best Judge Of Progress)

3 months ago, I saw my dermatologist to discuss a really bad flare-up with my autoimmune condition. Of course, at the time I finally got to my appointment, my flare-up wasn’t as bad as it had been. But even when it’s not bad, it’s still seen on my skin. So even though I had been previously diagnosed and done some one-off treatments in the past, the appointment earlier this year was the first time my current dermatologist had confirmed the diagnosis and started to help create a plan to see what will work for me.

There are a lot of options to try to treat this condition, but none of them are guaranteed to work. Some people react well to one medication or another. Some people need surgery. Sometimes one medication will work well for a while and then it won’t work anymore. And some of these medications can make you immunocompromised. That’s something to worry about in normal times, but now it’s even scarier. Even with me being fully vaccinated, I don’t want to be on anything that would make me at a higher risk for being a breakthrough case.

So at my last appointment, I was put on 2 different medications. One was a broad-spectrum antibiotic that I’ve been put on before. When I went to urgent care about a year ago for a bad flare, that’s what they put me on to make things better. But I usually have only been on that antibiotic for maybe a week or two. And this time, I was going to take a higher dose and take it twice a day. The other medication I was put on was to help with some side effects that the antibiotic can cause, so even though it wasn’t something that would necessarily help my autoimmune condition, it was something new to add to my medication routine.

And I’ve been following my dermatologist’s instructions to the letter these past 3 months. I wanted to give this the best chance I could because it would be the easiest solution for me. And it would be amazing if it ended up being the first thing we tried that got me into remission or as close to remission.

Over the past 3 months, I’ve stayed hopeful but I really didn’t think things were getting better. It’s not easy to tell, but I didn’t notice a huge difference in the flares I was getting. And the pain caused by the flares seem to stay at the same level no matter how bad things are, so I can’t really judge by the pain.

So when I went into my follow-up last week, I told my dermatologist that I didn’t think things were that much better for me. He asked me to guess how much better, and I said I thought it was maybe 5% better. But he took a look at the area that has the worst flare-ups and he said that it looked significantly better than that. He said he would guess maybe 25-30% improvement! The worst area isn’t the easiest for me to look at (it’s on my upper thighs) and I didn’t think of taking photos to see progress so I really had no clue it was improving that much! But because of how this antibiotic works, a lot of the improvement would have been right away so if that was all I needed to take I should have seen much better results.

But since this medication is helping, my dermatologist wanted me to stay on it (plus the medication I take for the side effects). And he said he wanted to add another medication to the plan. The new medication is usually used for very different issues like high blood pressure (I actually have very low blood pressure) or kidney issues. But it can also affect some hormones in your body that can make the flares not as bad (different hormones than regular female hormones that fluctuate every month). Just like any medication, there are side effects, but from what I have been able to look up they aren’t too bad. The biggest one is that you can get dehydrated easier than normal because it can pull water from your body. I used to overhydrate myself, so I think this might not be too much of an issue for me.

The only downside to this new medication is that it will take a while to know if it helps me. It usually will take 3-6 months before you know if it’s working. That’s a long time, but at least I’m already able to manage the flares a bit with the antibiotic that I’m on. So I’m not as desperate to see results. So the plan is for me to come back in another 3 months for another follow-up to see if there are any results and to make sure that any side effects I’m having aren’t causing me too many issues.

While I would have loved a better result, I think this is still a pretty good step in the right direction. And hopefully, it’s just a matter of time before things get even better. There is still a surgery that my dermatologist feels is a very good option for me, but if I can get things under control a bit more I might have a better result. And I’m not in any rush to get surgery. The only reason I would want to do it soon would be if I was told that was the only thing that would help me. But for now, I’m just continuing to take the medications I was prescribed and hope that my next follow-up will have even better results.

Going In For A Doctor Appointment (or Making A Plan With My Dermatologist)

I had mentioned before that I had a really bad flare-up of my autoimmune disease. I’ve dealt with flare-ups since I was a teenager, but the one that I had recently was the worst it’s ever been. And despite hoping I could be prescribed something over the phone to help it, I also knew that there was almost no chance that would happen and I’d have to go in for an appointment. I was right and I had the appointment this past week.

In the past year, the only times I’ve been to the hospital were for urgent care, getting my flu shot, and picking up prescriptions that couldn’t be mailed. I don’t want to have to be there if I can help it right now. And of course, when I had to go, we were experiencing some of the worst numbers we’ve ever had. Fortunately, where my dermatologist is located is a side building next to the main hospital. So it wasn’t that crowded and I only saw one other person in the waiting room.

Even though my dermatologist has seen me before (he’s the one who did the small surgery on my face) and he technically confirmed I had this condition, he still wanted to make sure that he evaluated me correctly and properly put in a diagnosis from him. The autoimmune disease I have is called Hidradenitis suppurativa (or HS). Basically, it’s an inflammatory condition that causes me to have these bumps under my skin that can be extremely painful. Sometimes, they can come to the surface of my skin and it can look like acne or ingrown hair. So a lot of people are misdiagnosed for a long time. I wasn’t properly diagnosed for about 8 years. For me, it’s always been somewhat minor. I didn’t have severe flare-ups as some people have. And I still don’t have it nearly as bad as most. But it can still be extremely painful and I feel like when I have a bad flare-up I usually have other issues like fatigue.

There’s no real cure for HS, but there are treatment options. And the one I was most familiar with was an injectable medication that can help. But it can also make you immunocompromised, so I knew I didn’t want to try that (at least not now). But my dermatologist is one of the few doctors who is very familiar with HS and how to manage it. So I was ready to hear what he had to say when we discussed this more seriously.

He quickly confirmed my diagnosis (which I knew would happen) and talked to me about a few different treatment options. He knew my issues with the injectable medication for now, so we didn’t really talk about that. But he did discuss some surgical options. I didn’t realize I would be a good candidate for surgery, but it was interesting to hear how it can be a permanent solution for a specific area. I don’t want to do surgery just yet, but I’m glad he brought it up so I could do some research on my own so I can be more familiar with it if it comes up again as a good option for me.

There are a few things I already do, like using specific soaps, but I knew there were other topical options as well as medications I could try. And my dermatologist decided that trying a daily pill would be the best one for me to start with. This isn’t a cure and it won’t make it go away forever, but it has the possibility to make my flare-ups not as frequent or severe. There’s no guarantee it will work, but I’m willing to give it the time to work. So for the next 3 months, I’m testing out this medication and will go back in for another appointment when I’m done. Then we will take it from there.

Maybe this medication will work and maybe it will fail. I will say that it’s almost been a week and my pain isn’t as bad. I still have a lot of flare-ups, but they are getting smaller. But that could just be the regular lifecycle of them. I’m trying to stay optimistic because at least I’m trying something. And if this doesn’t work, I’m just grateful that my doctor is going to keep working with me on this. I’ve had doctors in the past who didn’t understand how HS worked and the treatment options and they were offering solutions that I knew wouldn’t work. Having someone on my team who gets it is a huge victory on its own.

All I can do for now is continue to take the medication and hope for the best. And in 3 months, we’ll see what the next step will be. But it’s still more of a plan than I’ve had in a long time, which is giving me a lot of hope.

My First Doctor Appointment In A While (or Not Everything Can Be Done Over The Phone)

Last year, I didn’t go to a lot of doctor appointments that I was planning on having. Because of the pandemic, I didn’t want to have to go to the hospital more than I needed to. And while some of my appointments were regular ones, the ones I skipped weren’t urgent and I knew I could put them off for a little while. If any of my doctors told me I had to go to an appointment, I would have gone. But nothing was needed and I think all my doctors understood why I was postponing them.

One of the appointments I skipped was with my dermatologist. That appointment was going to be for a regular annual checkup and most of what is done at those appointments are things like skin checks for skin cancer. Since I didn’t really go out in the sun at all last year, I didn’t think having my skin checked for sun damage was really necessary. I also had some other questions I wanted to ask my doctor, but again, nothing was urgent so I was fine putting it off.

But then my autoimmune condition flared up really badly and I knew that I needed to get some more help than what I can do on my own. My dermatologist wasn’t the one who diagnosed me (that was another doctor), but he was the most recent one to discuss treatment options with me so I figured he would be the right person to reach out to. I started with just an email to my doctor and he wanted to set up a phone appointment to talk about what’s going on. I was hoping somehow a phone appointment would be enough for me to get some help even though this was discussing something with my skin.

I had my phone appointment the other day and it went ok. I discussed the pain I was in and what options I knew I was ok with and what I wasn’t ok with (there is one medication I could try but it would make me immunocompromised so I don’t want to do that). But like I suspected, this type of appointment wasn’t really able to be done on the phone and my doctor said I needed to come in.

Fortunately, I was able to get an appointment for next week, so things should be better for me soon. And I am lucky because my dermatologist is familiar with my autoimmune condition (it’s not something that all doctors understand or have experience treating). He wants to go over a few options that I have for treating things and he didn’t seem too worried about my concerns with some medications. So I’m hopeful that after next week I will have a good idea of a treatment plan I can work with.

I’ve had this issue for a long time and have tried a few different treatments in the past, but I’ve never really worked with one doctor who was very familiar with it and was willing to work on a long-term plan with me. I’ve had other doctors who wanted me to temporarily try one medication or another to see what it would do, even though the studies say those medications don’t work. That’s why I never have stuck it out with one doctor or a treatment plan. But now, I feel good about going forward with this and I’m hoping that in a week or so I will have a better idea about how I can get out of pain and maybe make it so I don’t have to deal with this as often as I do. I know it’s not likely to be resolved right away, but feeling like I’m on a path to figuring it out will be helpful.

I am a little nervous about having to go into the hospital for this appointment, but the medical offices are not the same building as the main hospital. So I won’t be around as many people and those who are going in for more serious things will be in a different building. And I’m sure there is some sort of plan so that there aren’t too many people in the waiting room at one time.

Even if I feel totally comfortable after this appointment with how things go at the hospital, I still think I will be waiting on some other appointments for a little while. Unless I have something come up where I need to be seen sooner or my doctors tell me they want me to come in, I want to wait until I am vaccinated and the case numbers are a bit more under control. And then I can go in and take care of everything I skipped.

Hopefully, next week goes just as smoothly as I hope it will be and I will have a good treatment plan in the works and out of the pain that I’ve been in for a while.

Another Isolated Therapy Session (or My Anxiety Is Normal)

Yesterday, I had my regular appointment with my therapist. Like my appointments often are, it was another virtual appointment. I’m always grateful that I can have my appointments over the phone or video chat because it saves me the drive (and the cost for parking). And nowadays, it’s pretty much a requirement to have virtual appointments to be safe. I have other doctor appointments that I need to do soon that cannot be virtual, so having one where I feel safe at home is really nice.

The main point of these appointments is to confirm my medication is ok and to make sure I’m doing alright. At my last appointment, we added a new medication but I stopped taking that already. It was something I started right when the pandemic started and my anxiety was getting really bad. I even started to notice some of my OCD tendencies were coming back. I don’t know if the medication was the only reason why I had those, but it was a variable that I could easily take out. My OCD seems to have gone back to where it was before, but my anxiety is still higher than normal. But in these times, I think being a little extra anxious is normal.

And after I confirmed with my therapist that my medication is still a good dosage and that I’m doing ok, I did mention that I’m a little anxious but I also understand that it’s normal. There was a post I’ve seen on social media a few times that says something like “I feel like I hallucinated the pandemic. I’m staying home, scared of getting sick, and taking precautions. And other people are just out there living their lives like normal.” And that’s really how I feel. Combining that idea and the idea that I’m alone on my own little planet with nobody around me is the best way to explain what isolation has felt like for me. I know that I’m doing the right thing and making small sacrifices will pay off in the long run, but it’s not easy when I’m in the middle of it.

But just like before, my therapist completely understood how I am feeling and reassured me that this is normal. I know that there are options for medications that I could take to make these feelings go away, but I’m really not feeling like trying medications right now. The last medication was stopped because I couldn’t be sure what was causing the side effects. I feel like trying something new would do the same. Maybe I would feel better, but I also won’t know when I could come off the medication because the world isn’t making me anxious and not the medication. I know right now I can work through these feelings. If anything changes, I can reach out and get help. But for now, I know that I’m not to the point where I need more help to be ok. I have been in that place before and am able to recognize if I get there again.

Just like so many of my recent appointments with my therapist, this was an easy one and it confirmed that I’m doing the right things for myself right now. I know that my eating disorder is a bit harder to deal with right now and I’m really working hard at that, but I also am going a bit easy on myself because I am going through something that none of us have ever experienced in our lifetimes. I can’t expect to have normal reactions in an abnormal situation.

I hope that by the time I have my next appointment, things will be starting to get better in the world. I will still be grateful to have a virtual appointment, but I would love it if I could feel like I have a bit more control and power over what I can do each day. I want to get back to the routine that I had been working on and helped to keep me on track. I have no clue if that will be possible by my next appointment. I keep hoping that something will change in this country so we can get the pandemic more under control and that will be a huge step forward. But for now, I just have to keep doing what I know will be keeping me safe, and working through the feelings being isolated brings up.