Tag Archives: anniversary

A House Anniversary (or A Decade In One Place)

In my life, I have had times that I haven’t moved homes a lot and other times where I was moving constantly. Growing up, my parents bought their house before I was born and that is the house that they still have. So my first time moving was when I went to college. I lived in dorms for my first 2 years and I sublet a room in an apartment for the summer between my freshman and sophomore years.

But housing was only guaranteed for freshmen and sophomores, so I had to enter a housing lottery in my college to get housing after that. And my group got such a bad number that we knew there was no chance for us to get campus housing. I don’t remember exactly why we didn’t find an apartment off-campus together, but for my junior year of college, I got my first apartment. I lived there alone and I hated how isolated I felt. There were probably a few different reasons why I felt so lonely, and it didn’t help that the apartment never really felt like home to me.

So after that lease was up, I got an apartment with a friend. I only had 1 semester of college left, but I knew I was going to stay in LA so I didn’t think twice about signing a lease for a year. Since I had been moving every year, I probably thought at the time that I would be there for a year and then move on to another apartment. But my roommate and I renewed our lease and we gained another roommate. Then the original roommate moved out and I was back down to 1 roommate again. Then that roommate left and I had a few different roommates over the next few years. I was in that apartment for about 5 1/2 years and had more roommates than I can remember. And when my last set of roommates said they would be moving out, I knew I had to find a new place because I couldn’t keep searching for roommates all the time. And that’s when I found the house that I currently live in.

I lucked out when I found my house because it’s in a great location and the price was really low. I was suspicious about it when I found it, but I think the small size was stopping others from wanting to rent it. But it was perfect for me to be on my own and the price was less than what I was paying for a portion of my old apartment. So there was no question that it was the right house for me.

I was hesitant about living alone again because I really didn’t like it when I lived alone in my first apartment. And there was an adjustment period for me to be used to not having roommates around. But as time went by, I discovered how much I love living alone. I think part of why I hated it before was that so many of my friends were still living on campus and there was so much community around them. I didn’t have that. But when I moved into my house, I was several years out of college. I wasn’t feeling left out or missing something that my friends were getting. And the more comfortable I got living alone, the more I wanted my house to feel like home to me and not just a place I was renting.

And I feel like I have accomplished just that. I have made several changes to things in my house over the years to make it feel more adult or more like me. And there is no question that it feels like my home to me. And that’s good because I literally cannot afford to move. The rents in my neighborhood are significantly higher than what I pay. It can be double or triple what I pay to get a 1 bedroom apartment. And yes, those apartments may be bigger or have more features than my place has, but I can’t afford anything that expensive. I love my little house and I love how it is affordable for me to be here.

And it’s a good thing that I love where I live because this past weekend marked 10 years since I moved into my house! That’s a lot longer than so many people live in a rental. That’s the longest I’ve lived anywhere except in the house I grew up in. And for some reason, I have always thought about how often I’ve moved because of how much I moved in my first years in LA. But I’ve been in my house for 10 years and my apartment before that for over 5 years. So the majority of my time in LA has been in 2 places. The other 4 places I lived were just condensed into a very short amount of time.

I don’t expect to be living in my house for another 10 years, but I also don’t see myself moving out any time soon. I’m here until I can afford to buy a place or until I move in with a significant other. Even if I got a huge raise and had a lot more money, I wouldn’t leave my place until I buy something because I don’t see the need to spend more on rent than I currently pay. Yes, there are things that I would love to have where I live (a dishwasher and in-home washer/dryer top that list), but I have lived for 10 years without those things and I can keep living without them. And the things I would love to have are going on my list of what I want in a place when I buy it. But because I haven’t had as many amenities as I have in the past, that list is much shorter now and I have realized what I really need to improve my quality of life and what would just be fun and nice.

So here’s to 10 years in my current house and now I’m just curious how long I will end up living here until I move to the next place I hopefully can stay for at least a decade.

Another LA Anniversary (or I Kind Of Already Celebrated This Once)

This week marked 18 years since I moved to LA. As I’ve mentioned in my other LA anniversary posts, I moved out here to go to college and I’ve never left. It’s always felt like home to me and I’ve been happy here. I never thought about leaving and I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. It feels like I was always meant to live here.

I mentioned in my birthday post that this pretty much splits my life into half. With half my life being in the Bay Area and half my life in LA. I think technically it will be a few more weeks before it’s really half and half, but that’s just a technicality at this point. I do see my life as half in one place and a half in another. But at the same time, I still can’t believe that I have been in LA for half my life. It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long and at the same time, it’s hard to remember when I didn’t live here.

It feels like I’ve lived a million different lives since I moved here. I started out as a pretty typical college student. I think that only lasted my first year of college because by my sophomore year I was taking a lot of acting classes outside of college. By doing that, I earned college credits and was able to graduate early. Then I had a few different day jobs before taking a “real job” for a while. I was miserable at that job and was going to quit when I found out I would be getting laid off in a few months (my boss was awesome and let me know when I told him I was thinking of leaving). After that, I lived off unemployment for a while and tried to focus completely on acting. Then I had to try to find a balance with day jobs and acting. Doing that took several years and more day jobs than I would like to remember. Finally, for the past few years, I’ve had a sense of stability and have been able to try to find a few other things in life to focus on because I need to have more of a life than just work.

In the 18 years I’ve lived here, I’ve seen a lot of friends move here and leave. Some left because they got an amazing job offer somewhere else. Some of them left because they hated LA. Some moved here to pursue acting and gave themselves a very strict timeline and refused to budge if they didn’t reach the level of success they felt they needed by their deadline and left. I’m proud of myself for sticking it out because it’s not easy. I’m not judging the people who have left because they all had valid reasons for leaving. They wouldn’t be a reason I would leave, but the reasons I stay wouldn’t be reasons they would stay either. I am sure I could have a much easier life living somewhere else and doing something else, but I don’t think it would be a happier life. And I have realized that my happiness, at least for now, it more important than having an easy life.

Just like I’ve said in other timeline or milestone posts, this is not where I thought my life would be at this point. I had no clue where I would be after 18 years in LA. I don’t even think I thought about it. But to think about the friends, adventures, and memories that I have gained in those 18 years is pretty amazing and I am proud of what I have accomplished. It hasn’t all been positive, but the positive definitely outweighs the negative.

Just like I didn’t think 18 years ago where I would be now, I’m not going to try to predict where I will be in 18 years. The only thing I will hope is that I will still be happy (and hopefully still happy in LA). Life has taken so many interesting twists that I can’t even try to guess where things will be in 18 months (or at this rate, 18 days). But I know that as long as I keep moving forward and making sure that I am staying true to myself and focusing on what makes me happy, things will turn out the way they should and hopefully I will have dozens of more LA anniversaries.

Another Blog Anniversary (or When Will This Stop Surprising Me)

It’s the anniversary of Finding My Inner Bombshell! 7 years ago I posted my first post on here and I haven’t stopped since. I know I sound like a broken record because I say this every year, but I still can’t believe that I have been able to keep this up. I have blogged 5 days a week since I started. I have written over 1800 posts which is insane to me. I don’t know if this will ever seem easy or normal to me, but maybe it’s good that it doesn’t. Having this feel special and hard makes me work to make it better and I don’t go easy on myself with writing posts. There are plenty of times I have nothing to write about, but I have learned to be honest when that happens and I think that is much better than making up something to write about.

The benefits I have gotten from writing on here are more than I can count. I have become a much better person because of this blog. I have become more honest with myself and with others, which I think has made my relationships with my friends and family stronger. I feel like I am more of myself than ever before and that allows me to bring people into my life that add to it and end friendships with those that take away. I didn’t have the confidence to do that before and I know I kept toxic people in my life much longer than I should have because I was scared of losing people in my life. But as I have written about myself on here, I have become so much clearer in what I want out of life and the type of people I want in it.

And some of the amazing people that I have added to my life have been because of this blog. There are things I have written about that made an acquaintance of mine become a friend because we connected on something that we both kept hidden before. And I’ve been introduced to others because a mutual friend saw a post about something and knew someone else who would love to read the post and talk to me more about it. I’ve pushed myself to meet new people more and go to more events because I wanted to be able to have things to write about. And going to those events has led me to some of the most incredible people that I have ever met.

And yes, I have gotten to have some great opportunities because of this blog that I wouldn’t have had without it. My introduction to Orangetheory was because I was in a blogger group that was hosting the preview class I went to. Maybe I would have discovered Orangetheory on my own, but I don’t know because I never went to Brentwood much before. I probably would have found it when they opened the Culver City studio last year, but that was several years after I started. But I am forever grateful for that first class I went to over 5 years ago and the progress I’ve been able to make in my physical and mental health. And I’ve been invited to other random and fun events that I know is a privilege and I am so grateful for each and every one that I get an invitation to. I do want to start getting invited to a few higher-level events because I would love to be able to review and share them with you all. But even if I never get to that level, I still am so lucky with what I do get to do.

7 years ago, as much as I wanted to believe that I could keep this up I was also having doubts how long I could blog. I was scared to be open and honest and I didn’t know how long I could keep going without oversharing. Now, I think oversharing is the least of my worries (and I probably do overshare, I just don’t care about it). Even in my wildest dreams, I never thought I’d be doing this still 7 years later. But now, I can’t imagine my life without this blog and having this outlet. So I guess here’s to the next 7 years and seeing what it brings for me!

A Non-Surgery Anniversary (or Another Year Of Being A Medical Miracle)

Tomorrow will be the 2 year anniversary of when I didn’t have surgery. I know that sentence sounds really weird, but that’s exactly what it is. 2 years ago tomorrow, I was supposed to be having some of my liver tumors removed along with a portion of my liver. But because by some miracle my tumors decided to shrink on their own, that surgery didn’t happen. And I feel like that is something to celebrate!

I’ve had some things to work through mentally with all this. When my surgery was canceled, I didn’t know how to feel because this was something I had been preparing for and all of a sudden it wasn’t happening. Some people thought I was acting disappointed that I didn’t have surgery, but that’s not it. It was just an overwhelming feeling of confusion and a disconnection with things. I’ve gotten over that feeling as I have been able to identify it, but it’s still a bit of a weird spot for me.

I do also still have a little fear when I have another MRI because I don’t want to discover my tumors have decided to grow again. My next scan isn’t for another 6 months, but I’m already a little nervous because of the gallbladder attack I had recently. My surgeon and I have discussed that it’s possible my attacks stopped when my liver stopped being distorted by the tumors. That’s not something we know for sure, but it’s something we have thought is possible. So to know I just had another attack does make me a bit fearful that maybe that means my tumors are growing and making my liver misshapen again. There’s no point in me worrying about it right now, but I know that I won’t get the idea out of my head until after my next scan.

Even though I do have some weird feelings about the non-surgery anniversary, I have way more feelings that are positive about it. I wasn’t necessarily looking forward to the surgery even though I knew I needed it because I didn’t want to have to deal with the recovery. It would have been a very tough and potentially long recovery and I didn’t need that in my life. While your liver does regenerate so I would eventually have had a full sized liver again, during the time that it’s regrowing there are a lot of other issues that can come up. Leading up to when I was supposed to have surgery I was trying to stay optimistic about what side effects I might have, but I was also realistic. I’m so grateful I didn’t have to find out what would happen.

From the time I discovered I have liver tumors to the time my surgery was canceled was a pretty hectic time. It all happened in under 6 months and there was so much we had to do in that time to get my life prepared for such a major surgery. Once I had that out of the way, I was able to focus on things I enjoyed in my life again. I feel like this really was a turning point in my life to stop putting things off and to really work on finding what I want to do and not what I have to do. This is still something I am working on, but I know that the past 2 years have been filled with much more enjoyable stuff than the several years prior to discovering the tumors. I don’t want to say that this experience made me re-evaluate my life or make me have a new outlook on how I was spending my life, but I guess that’s kind of what it was.

I think this year celebrating not having surgery is a bit different from last year. I’m still excited about recognizing how amazing and incredible my body was to be able to shrink the tumors. But the focus this time seems to be less about not having surgery and more about the new start point of things. I don’t split my life up as before surgery and after not having surgery or anything, but I do see not having surgery as a fresh start of figuring some things out about myself. I’m not 100% where I want to be or who I want to be, but I’m significantly closer now than I was before.

I’m sure eventually one day I won’t be celebrating the non-surgery anniversary anymore, but for now I still feel like it is something to celebrate and acknowledge. It’s a big part of my recent history and has been something that changed the plan of my life. I feel like that’s important to remember.

Another LA Anniversary (or Almost Half My Life Here)

17 years ago, I moved to LA. It’s so crazy to think that I’ve been in LA that long! It doesn’t feel like I just moved here, but it also doesn’t feel like 17 years have passed since I started college. Then again, I also don’t feel like I’m really 35 yet. When I’m trying to remember how long ago something was, my default thing is to think something was 10 years ago when it was really 20 years ago.

I was lucky with my move to LA. I have a bunch of friends who moved here after college and they seemed to have a bit of a shock when they got here. Between the traffic, high rent costs, and the energy of the city they were overwhelmed. But I moved here at 18 and spent my first 3.5 years here in college so I had a nice transition between growing up in the Bay Area and living in LA.

Even though it’s been 17 years, I do remember a lot about my move down here. My parents drove in their car and my best friend Kate joined me and was the passenger in my car.

Yes I had leopard print seatbelt covers. I also had a leopard print steering wheel cover at one point but I don’t think I used that for longer than a week or so before it felt weird. But leopard print car accessories were all the rage when I was in high school so of course I had to have some too.

We really needed 2 cars because I might have had a bit too much stuff when I moved here. My mom’s car was packed full with clothes, books for school, bedding, and a dorm refrigerator that we bought before moving down to LA!

The drive is about 6 hours long and I remember it going pretty easy. We had a stop for gas and I don’t remember any crazy traffic moments. The only weird thing I remember is that we had walkie-talkies to talk between the 2 cars. But we also had cell phones so I really don’t know why we thought the walkie-talkies were thought to be a better idea. I do remember that Kate and I were having fun with them, but it’s still a weird things that we did. I also remember the exact exit and roads we took off the freeway to go to the hotel we stayed in the night before I moved into the dorm, and I now know that we actually took the longer way to get there from the freeway. That still makes me laugh a bit when I drive around that area again and realize that we didn’t know better since it was our first time in that area.

Moving into my dorm room was quick and easy because I moved in about a week before most people did because I was doing a program for new students to have fun in LA before school started. I remember moving in the dorms for my sophomore year and it was so much more hectic because everyone was trying to move in at the same time. I’m glad my first dorm move-in was when it was calm and we didn’t have to feel like there were so many people around also trying to get all their things into their room. And when my parents and Kate left, they called me to make sure I wasn’t too sad to be left in LA. Even though it was weird to think I was living away from my family, I was so excited to be in college and in LA!

In my 17 years in LA, I haven’t lived that many places. I had 2 dorm rooms (and I sublet an apartment my first summer in LA), I had an apartment on my own for a year, I had a 2 bedroom apartment with a rotating cast of roommates for just under 6 years, and I’ve lived in my house for about 8 1/2 years. I’m not big on moving and I’m happy staying where I am right now.

It’s been fun thinking for the past few weeks about how my LA anniversary was coming up again, but then I also realized something very crazy to me. Next year when I celebrate 18 years in LA, I will have lived half my life in the Bay Area and then half my life in LA. And right after that anniversary, I will be able to say that I’ve lived a majority of my life in LA!

That idea seems so odd to me. It still seems like I lived in the Bay Area significantly longer than I have lived in LA. But as of right now, it’s only a year difference. I’m sure that this happens for other people as well, but the only other people I have heard say things like this have lived in multiple cities as an adult. Then it makes a bit more sense to me since you are comparing living in one place to adding up the time you lived in multiple places. But right now I lived 18 years in one place and 17 years in another.

Maybe I need to do some more reflection about what I did in those 17 years in LA so far. I am sure that I am skipping over important things in my head that help to make my time in LA seem more significant and longer. But even if it never feels that way, it’s not a big deal. I don’t care if it feels like so much more of my life was in the Bay Area even if it’s not really accurate. I guess it’s just a weird way of how time goes by so quickly as you get older.

I guess for now I should enjoy the last year I have where I can say a majority of my life was in the Bay Area before that changing to a majority of my life has been in LA in a year!

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6 Years In (or Being Ok With Where I Am)

Yesterday marked 6 years since my first blog post on here. I know I say this every time I get to a milestone on this blog, but I’m still so surprised that I’ve not only been able to keep this up but still blog 5 days a week like I set out to do when I started. It’s been over 1500 posts and they haven’t all been interesting, but they have been the proof of my journey. And I have been on quite a journey since I started this 6 years and a day ago.

When I started, I had no idea what I would really blog about or how much of myself I would be open about. I still don’t always know what I’m going to blog about sometimes, but the blog has motivated me to make sure that I keep my life as interesting as possible so that I can have fun things to write about. It doesn’t always happen, but it is some motivation for me when I feel like I don’t have anything fun in my life. I know that life will be boring from time to time and that will result in some boring posts, but I think that my life has gotten more interesting in the last 6 years.

And I still surprise myself but how much being open about tough things in my life on here has benefitted me. I was terrified when I revealed some things about myself that I wasn’t very public about because I didn’t want negative reactions from anyone. I have had some people comment about how I am lying about my eating disorder to make an excuse for my weight, but those are rare. A majority of people have been very positive toward me about these issues. Some have admitted that they have the same struggles or have reached out to me asking for how they can help someone they love who struggles with things. Being able to help others or encourage others to be open has been a really positive experience for me and I’ve tried to do that more often when possible.

There was no way for me to know 6 years ago the craziness that my life was going to have in the coming years. I’ve had some crazy health issues and fortunately they have all either worked themselves out or are not things I really need to worry about right now. I feel like I’ve had dozens of different day jobs since starting this blog, but I know it hasn’t been that many. My job situation has actually been more stable in the last 6 years than it ever has been for me. I haven’t traveled as much as I would have liked to in the last 6 years, but there are a few factors preventing that and I’m hopeful that in the future I’ll be traveling more.

And in the last year I’ve written more about dating than I ever thought I would. But if I’m being honest with myself, I think that this past year (or year and a half) of dating adventures has been the thing that has changed me the most over the course of this blog. It’s made me more adventurous in trying new things and taking chances on meetings guys who I wasn’t totally sold on from their dating profile. Sometimes they are just as bad in person, but there have been a few guys that I really wasn’t looking forward to meeting in person that ended up being really awesome. I’ve also learned to stand up for myself more and to not allow guys (or anyone for that matter) walk over me because I think I am not worthy of asking for more. I still struggle with that, but I’m getting better. And I’ve had to be more honest with myself on what I want in a potential partner, what I want in the future, and be willing to lose a great guy because we don’t want the same thing. Just like so many other things in my life, this is a work in progress, but the progress I’ve made has been so much more than I ever expected it to be.

Just like how I had no idea 6 years ago where I would be today, I have no clue what the next 6 years of this blog will bring. I have ideas of what I hope will happen, but I also have learned that nothing seems to go exactly how you hope. I can just have goals and work as hard as possible to accomplish those goals. But plan A rarely works and I’ve gotten used to working on plan M or Q. I do hope that I will still be blogging and still be blogging as regularly as I have been. I know that eventually I’ll miss a day or something will happen that prevents me from blogging (I thought my liver surgery would be that thing), but I do have every intention of keeping this up as long as possible.

Thank you for following my journey for the last 6 years and I hope that things continue to take twists and turns so I have fun things to write to you all about.

4 Years Of Orangetheory (or Some More Reflection)

Last week when I was on Instagram I saw that the Orangetheory LA account was announcing what celebratory things would be happening at different studios to celebrate 4 years since the first Los Angeles Orangetheory location opened. It’s crazy to think that it’s been over 4 years since my first class! It feels like I’ve been doing the workouts for forever (in a good way) but it also doesn’t feel like 4 years have passed since that first class where I struggled so much.

Since they were celebrating 4 years, I figured I should celebrate a bit too and I worked on a photo collage of some of my favorite OTF memories. There were way too many photos to include without making them too tiny to see, but I think I came up with a pretty nice collection.

Those photos only show a small representation of all the incredible things I’ve done in my workouts. And while I was going through my photos to pick what I was going to include it really made me reflect on all the things I had accomplished in the past 4 years.

First, I’ve done hundreds of workouts in that time. It still surprises me that I have been able to keep up such a regular workout routine for this long. It was something I never was really able to do before so to have this regularity in my life is amazing and makes me so happy. And while I don’t always look forward to every workout and I sometimes have to drag myself there, I am always happy that I did the class and feel very accomplished. Sometimes I’m tired and sore, but accomplished.

I’ve also brought friends and family to class with me. Some of my friends have become regular workout buddies and some have just done an occasional class with me. But it’s always nice to have a familiar face with me. And while none of my family is nearby or does OTF workouts regularly, we do have our Thanksgiving tradition of going to a workout. We plan on continuing this tradition again this year, but we don’t know who will be joining us. But even if nobody else wants to workout, I know that my dad and I would go. My dad has done occasional classes in LA with me too. And I’ve told him that whenever I make it back to the Bay Area that we’ll have to do a class there too.

But not only do I have friends in class that I brought with me, I’ve made amazing friends in class. When you see the same people every week, you start to form a friendship. It’s so nice to have the support of people I know in every class and it also helps to make me look forward to a workout even if I’m not necessarily looking forward to the exercise part. And not only do the friends I’ve made in class make me feel that way, but the coaches I have do that too. Several of the coaches have been my coach since I started and they’ve seen my progress and the setbacks I’ve had. But they always support and encourage me no matter what’s happening.

I’ve also accomplished some fun things in this last 4 years. That includes doing 4 different Hell Weeks (in my photo, I thought I had only done 3 but I was wrong), several DriTris including a relay, and a running class. I never thought I could do any of these things before and I can’t wait until I can do more of them to see what progress I’ve made. And the progress isn’t just in class for me. I’ve made huge improvements in my 5K races. Once I’ve gotten better and can be on the treadmill again, I want to start making a plan to do another 5K race. The race might not end up being in 2018, but I want to have a plan in place so I can create a training schedule and have some goals in mind.

The last 4 years of workouts has really been life-changing for me in so many ways. The physical changes have been awesome, but the mental ones have been even better. I’ve become more confident, more comfortable with myself, and have discovered how strong I really am. And I’ve realized that despite what I might look like, I am an athlete and there’s no denying that. It’s an empowering thought to have and I never knew that it would be something I thought about myself.

4 years of workouts have changed me and have flown by. And I can’t wait to see where I am physically and mentally after the next 4 years.

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1500 Posts (or This Really Is Just A Part Of My Life)

While I do have my blog anniversary marked in my calendar, I really don’t think too much about blog milestones much anymore. I actually missed acknowledging my 1,000th post because I didn’t think about it. And the only reason why I knew this would be my 1,500th post is because 2 weeks ago someone asked me how many blog posts I’ve done so far. I looked up the number and realized this milestone was coming up. While I knew I had written a bunch of posts since my last milestone post, I honestly had no clue that I was about to get to another milestone.

If I hadn’t been asked about it, I could have gone several months without checking to see how many posts I’ve done. When I started, it was such a big deal when I realized how many posts I had done because it was proof of me following through with a goal to keep this blog. But it’s become so normal for me now that I don’t really know what a milestone really means for me.

On the days I don’t write a blog post (either I don’t need one for the next day or I’m blogging in advance and don’t need to write), it almost feels weird and that something is missing in my life. I’m so used to having the time most days to reflect on a specific event or subject that when I don’t have that moment I miss it. I almost crave the time I take to write my posts. I don’t crave it enough to try to blog every single day (5 days a week is enough), but it really has become almost a part of my self-care work. It would be nice if other aspects of my life could feel so needed to me like meal planning, cooking, or stretching. But for now, I can be happy that blogging feels so natural and normal.

But even though in a way having a milestone like this doesn’t feel like a big deal because this blog is just a part of my life, it is a big deal and I should recognize that. I have several blogger friends who either just didn’t like blogging or didn’t feel like they could keep up with it. Even friends of mine who were much more successful than I am have decided it wasn’t worth it. Maybe they felt like the money they got wasn’t worth it, but I find this so worth it even though I don’t make money from here (I do have ads and affiliate links, but I’ve made under $100 over the entire lifetime of my blog).

I have had people ask me how long I’m going to keep blogging. For me, I really can’t see myself stopping. I can imagine in the future maybe I won’t be blogging every day (I had that thought last year when I was going to have surgery), but I don’t see an end point yet. Maybe in the future I’ll be done with doing this, but this blog isn’t necessarily about a journey that will have a conclusion. This is the journey of my life and there have been lots of twists and turns that I never imagined when I started this. Obviously I never thought I’d have liver tumors and that took my blog in a new direction. I also never thought I’d be blogging about dating (partially because that felt too personal and partially because I didn’t have much to say), but I’ve written lots of posts about that too. And I’m sure that there will be so many more posts about things in the future that I can’t imagine right now.

It’s funny to think about how worried I was to be a good blogger when I started when in reality I just needed to be consistent, true to myself, and honest. I’m not the most interesting person and I know there are plenty of boring posts on here, but that’s the truth of my life. And even if I feel like I don’t have anything interesting in my life, I’ve got 1,500 posts on here saying otherwise. And while I know that not all 1,500 posts have been the most interesting ones, they are proof of the life that I’m living and that I am making progress in many aspects of my life.

Celebrating Some Anniversaries (or Remembering Awesome Family Moments)

This past week had a couple of family anniversaries. I try to remember to celebrate each one when it happens, but things have been a bit crazy lately for me so my mind did slip a bit. But I figure it’s never too late to celebrate.

The first anniversary that happened recently was my grandparent’s anniversary. We don’t necessarily celebrate this anymore since my grandpa died because we don’t want my grandma to be upset. But I still like to remember it because it is a good reminder of how a marriage can last a very long time. I was lucky that I got to celebrate my grandparents’ anniversary with them several times. For their 50th, they took the entire family on an African safari. That still is one of the coolest trips I’ve ever taken. And for their 60th we had a family party up in Portland.

I also got to be there for what would end up being their last anniversary together. It was their 67th anniversary and it was a pretty simple dinner as a family. But even though that anniversary wasn’t a huge celebration, it’s still a good memory because it was such a fun dinner. Obviously at the time we had no way to know that was going to be the last anniversary my grandpa would be alive for, but I’m so grateful that I was there and got to celebrate with them. Also at that anniversary, my grandpa was telling the story of how he met my grandma. We ended up taking a video of that and it’s something that we all are so glad we have forever now.

I think we all wish that my grandparents would have been able to celebrate more anniversaries together. If my grandpa was still alive, this year would have been their 70th anniversary. I’m sure that they would have done something special to celebrate that. It probably wouldn’t have been a trip, but I bet we would have done a family dinner like we did for their 60th. It’s sad that they weren’t able to make it to that milestone, but to know that they made it to 67 years is pretty special. Not everyone has a marriage that lasts that long and it’s proof that you can stay married that long as long as you work at it. And it’s an inspiration for me even though the chances of me getting to 67 years with someone is a long shot (if I got married this year, I’d be 101 during a 67th anniversary).

Also this past weekend was my brother and sister-in-law’s anniversary. This one is awesome because I’m reminded of going to their wedding in Hawaii. I don’t get to take trips that often and going to Hawaii for a week was such a treat. And of course, I love that Krystle is my sister-in-law because she and I have gotten so close. Celebrating their anniversary is cool, but celebrating the day that Krystle officially became my sister is almost more special to me (sorry Ross!).

And they shared a pretty cute photo from their anniversary this past weekend. They both ended up buying each other the same anniversary card. It was not planned at all, but I think it shows how they are meant for each other.

I think that some of my single friends don’t love celebrating other’s anniversaries like I do. Maybe they see it as something that they haven’t achieved yet and they might be jealous. And I can understand that feeling even if I don’t feel it myself. But even with all the craziness I’ve encountered with my online dating, I’m still hopeful that I will find someone one day. So being able to celebrate isn’t something I’m jealous of, it’s something I’m looking forward to having myself in the future.

There are a couple of times a year when family celebrations are bunched up together. My mom’s birthday and my aunt and uncles anniversary are on the same day. My parents’ anniversary, my cousin’s birthday, and my birthday are within a few days of each other. And then there are these two anniversaries only a few days apart. I don’t know if all families have bunches of celebrations like we do, but it’s fun for me. It also makes it a bit easier to remember to celebrate everyone since I’m doing it in batches (except of course this year where I didn’t do things in advance). The next big family celebration will be my grandma’s birthday/Thanksgiving. And it’s crazy to think that November will be here before we know it!

So Many Birthdays and Anniversaries! (or A Month Of Celebrating And Remembering)

August is a pretty amazing month for me. Obviously it’s amazing since it’s my birthday month and I usually have lots of birthday celebrations. I think the birthday month thing started because growing up I wasn’t always able to celebrate my birthday on my birthday. When I was in school I would be out-of-town a lot on my birthday. I spent multiple years at summer camp on my birthday so I’d celebrate at camp and then have my birthday party when I got back home toward the end of the month. So I think it’s just a continuation of that when I have a birthday month now.

It also is such a full month of other celebrations so it naturally feels like I can continue my celebrations as well. I don’t want to steal the thunder at someone else’s birthday, but if I’m at a birthday party in August and it comes up that I just had a birthday usually people will say happy birthday to me as well. That doesn’t always happen, but it has happened a lot. And because I have so many different friend groups and we are all so busy, having multiple birthday celebrations seems required.

And it’s not just me that we celebrate toward the beginning of this month. In my birthday week we have my parents’ anniversary, my cousin’s birthday, a friend’s birthday, my birthday twin’s birthday, and my acting coach’s birthday. All of those things take place within 5 days. It’s a lot and it can be a bit overwhelming. It’s especially overwhelming when I have to get cards for everyone. I write down each person and what they are celebrating so I don’t forget anyone. And I usually mail all the cards off at the same time to make things as easy for me as possible.

I love getting to celebrate the people in my life. It’s so fun getting to do that and I love picking out the perfect present for people. And I know I’ve talked about this before, but this is also a bit of a tough time for me. My friend and my acting coach have both passed away in the past few years. I don’t get to celebrate them anymore the same way I used to and it can put a bit of a damper on everything. I miss all the birthday jokes we had together because of the back to back birthdays. And it’s not the same without those stupid jokes.

I try to not be sad about not getting to celebrate them anymore. I’m trying to focus on the happy memories I had with them and to celebrate their lives on their birthday. It’s still weird and I’m still getting used to it. I don’t know if it will ever feel normal that they are gone. And there are still times I forgot that either of them passed away. I will have something happen to me and my first thought is to call one of them. I can’t seem to erase their contact information from my phone so it’s still in there. And just as I’m about to look up their number I remember and stop. Fortunately it’s not that way on their birthdays, but it’s still a bit heartbreaking when it happens.

It does take me by surprise when it hits me this hard each year that they have passed away. I keep thinking that I won’t remember or that it won’t affect me. But it’s still a hole in my heart and I can’t forget about it. But that’s probably just a sign of how much I loved them and how important they were to my life. I know that both my friend and my acting coach changed my life for the better and I wouldn’t be the person I am today without one or both of them in my life. And I’d like to think that if they were still around that they would be proud of me.

There is so much I feel like I’m celebrating this year on my birthday. I wish that I had everyone I love who usually celebrates around the same time as me still alive and able to celebrate too. But this is the reality of life and I know that while things might keep getting easier it will never completely go away. I will always remember that I’m not able to celebrate them the same way, but hopefully I’ll be able to focus on celebrating all the fun that I did have with them while they were still alive and can make their birthdays a positive and happy day for me.