My random online dating adventures have continued. It’s so weird right now because I’ve dated lots in the past, but this feels very different from it has before. Maybe I’m putting myself out there more. Maybe I’m realizing that I’m 34 and if I want to have a baby one day I need to start dating more seriously (and this is a big thing because I cannot use fertility treatments because of my liver tumors). Whatever the reason, this is very different from it has been in the past and that brings new and sometimes annoying situations.
I’m glad I’m having more luck with online dating. I’m having fun meeting new people and most of the time the guys I meet are good people. There are still some times that I’ve met some not-so-great guys, but if I’m getting to the point that I’m meeting them in person, usually I’ve vetted them a bit and I know they aren’t completely weird. Although there was a guy that I was supposed to meet and I technically stood him up after seeing him. He was looking very suspicious where we were supposed to meet and his photos were probably 10-15 years old. I didn’t feel comfortable meeting him and left. I messaged him after leaving and never heard back. So I’m guessing that something wasn’t right and listening to my gut was the right thing.
I’ve caught a few more cheaters recently and while those situations are horrible I’m getting better at catching them. And I’m getting smarter and taking screenshots of conversations because I have been sending them to their significant others because I feel like they should know that their guy is cheating. Most of the time they haven’t seen my messages because they are going into their filtered Facebook messages, but at least I know I’ve tried. And I’m hopeful that by calling out the guy for being a cheater (and sometimes using his significant other’s name in the conversation) that they will take a step back and hopefully not cheat on them. While I don’t have fun catching cheaters, I do take a bit of pride for being able to figure it out since that wasn’t always the case in the past.
When I share my dating stories online, it makes it seem like I only have negative experiences because that’s what I share online. But the positive ones aren’t as interesting unless it’s to say that I’ve met someone who has gotten me off of online dating. But there have been some great guys I’ve met and now dealing with another issue with modern dating.
I met a guy about a month ago. We have had a handful of dates and until recently we were texting each other every day. He was fun and I was having a good time texting him and seeing him. I didn’t know if it was going to lead to anything, but I was trying to stay open to the possibilities and let things happen. And now, I haven’t heard from him in a week. I don’t know what happened, but we were texting last week and he didn’t text me back after a question. I sent him another text this week just seeing how things are going and still no answer.
I’m not necessarily upset, more annoyed by this. I know that ghosting is a thing, but I don’t get it. If someone isn’t interested in seeing someone anymore, you should tell them. That’s what I’ve been doing with guys I’ve met that I don’t want another date with. And I’m aware that there can be reasons for someone to not text back for a week, but I also don’t care to play games. I don’t have the time for that and I’m not holding my breath for anything. If he texts me again, I’ll probably see him again because we have had fun. But I also will be cautious because I don’t want to be kept on the hook for anyone.
I’ve done online dating plenty in the past, but this is really the first time that I would consider myself ghosted. There are guys who have disappeared after the first date or before I’ve had the chance to meet them and that’s totally different. I still think that’s a stupid thing to do, but it’s way more common than disappearing after a month. But I guess I’m lucky because there are stories of people who have been ghosted after months or years of dating. And this guy was just a guy that I was seeing and we hadn’t had “the talk” of what we were. So I guess it’s more of a mini-ghosting? I have a feeling that as soon as this post goes up, I’ll hear from him or something just because timing is funny like that. I don’t think he knows my blog, but I guess he could always google me and find it.
Despite my ghosting, I’m still optimistic and hopeful. There are other guys that I’ve met that I’ve continued to talk to. For some reason or another it hasn’t turned into anything more than just sporadic dating. And that’s fun, but I’m still hopeful to find something serious. And I have to just keep putting myself out there and taking chances for that to happen. There doesn’t seem to be another option besides that and at least I’m enjoying the ridiculousness online dating has brought to my life at times.