Posted onMay 3, 2023|Comments Off on I’m Picking Some Good Challenges For Myself (or Being Ok Not Being Perfect)
I’ve been doing monthly challenges for several years now, and sometimes I pick really good challenges and sometimes I struggle to figure out what I want to do. It’s ok that it’s a mix, I know they can’t all be exactly perfect with the challenge I pick. But I’m always so happy when I pick a challenge and something just clicks with me and I feel like I’ve started a new habit that will continue for a while.
For April, I set the challenge to have less food waste. I knew I needed to do this challenge because I was getting lazy and wasteful with the food I bought. I might have all the best intentions when I go grocery shopping, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I feel the same way when it’s time to cook things. And while I have no issues eating leftovers, I also don’t want to eat leftovers several days in a row of the same thing so sometimes portions go back. Whenever I throw out food, that’s wasting money and I’ve been trying really hard to improve my spending. So I wanted to see how much I could reduce food waste to save money and be better about planning meals and making sure I don’t just order in if I get lazy.
I was surprised at how well I did with this challenge. I did still have things I had to throw out if they expired, but it was significantly less than what I normally would do. I was very careful about what I was buying from stores and opted to buy more frozen things like vegetables so I didn’t have to worry about things going bad quickly. I also started to make easier meals so they were only one or two servings. So I might make something like meatballs and some vegetables, but only make enough to have something for the next day instead of having it for 3 more days. I did still occasionally order in or go out to dinner, but with what I bought and made at home, I really reduced how much I wasted. And after last month, I feel like this is something I can continue to do and improve upon.
And for May, this challenge I feel has already started for me. This month, I want to work on being ok with not having perfection with things in my life. There are some parts of my life where I’m ok not always being perfect, but there are others where I really stress and get anxious if things aren’t exactly how I feel like they should be. One example of this is the frequency of my blog posts. I know I wrote last week that I was reducing how often I post on here, but I also really debated about doing a post yesterday because it felt so odd not to have something up when I’ve written every weekday for years. But I knew that I wanted to try to post less and had to be ok with the anxiety that brought me. I’m not being perfect with my writing the way I’m used to. I know it’s for the best, but that doesn’t always make it easier.
And there are other things that I know I only want to do if I can do them right. Sometimes the fear of not being perfect stops me from trying and I want to work on that feeling. I know that I won’t fail with everything I try, but I need to remember that it’s ok. I have failed at monthly challenges before and that has been ok. I have had bad workout days and that’s ok. I don’t know why I’m ok not being perfect in those ways but then with other things I just can’t get over it. And it’s not just being perfect, it’s also the fear of starting a task that I might have to split over a few days instead of getting it done in one. If something isn’t accomplished in the way I feel is right or perfect, sometimes I just can’t get started with it. And that’s not a good way to be.
I’m not going to try to deliberately fail at things, but I’m going to try to be more flexible with how I can do things and what accomplishing a task or idea means to me. If I want to get my whole house cleaned in one day but have to split it up in 2 because of time constraints, that’s ok and I need to remember that. I can’t necessarily predict what I will need to let go of the idea of perfection with, but I know that I will encounter that feeling several times over the month.
This is a challenge that I also have to accept will not necessarily be perfect since there will be times I let this feeling stop me. But all I can do is hope that I can overcome it more often than not and see some positive results by the end of the month.
Posted onMay 1, 2023|Comments Off on Another Week Of Some Struggles In My Workouts (or I Probably Should Have Been More Prepared)
Going into this past week of workouts, I knew it could be a tough one for me. The beginning of the week should have been good, but as the week went on I knew that I might be dealing with a lot of pain and nausea. And I thought I was prepared to deal with that, but this past week really took me by surprise and made things even harder than I planned.
Monday wasn’t a bad day and probably the best workout of the week for me. I’m glad I was feeling ok since I struggled the rest of the week.
For cardio, we had rounds of a 1-minute push pace and a 1-minute recovery. Even though we were at a push pace, we were supposed to work on increasing the push pace each time. There were too many intervals for me to increase my resistance level every time, so I came up with a slightly different plan. I alternated between increasing the resistance level on the bike and increasing my speed. So I would do each level twice and try to be faster the second time. I think it worked pretty well for a plan until the end when the resistance level was pretty high.
On the rower, we also had 1-minute intervals. We alternated between a 1-minute row and 1 minute to do an exercise. The exercise alternated between 2 types of lunges, but I did lunges for one and squats for the other. We had to do 12 reps of the exercise and whatever extra time we had we could rest. But usually, I was getting back on the rower with maybe 15 seconds before the next 1-minute row.
And on the floor, we had a single block with 2 mini-blocks. The first mini-block had squats, high rows to low rows with weights, and plank kicks. And the second mini-block had deadlifts, push-ups, and ab rockers. I couldn’t exactly do the plank kicks, so I did plank taps instead. But the modifications for the floor were pretty minimal.
Tuesday was the toughest day for me. It started fine, but things went downhill pretty early on and I struggled for the rest of the class.
We had 2 blocks for each section of the room. For cardio, the first block was mainly 30-second intervals. We had some push paces to all-outs and some push paces that went into a base pace before an all-out. And after each all-out in the block, we had a 30-second recovery. The second block had the same intervals as the first block, but everything was at an incline instead. During that second block, I started to feel a bit of nausea. This wasn’t unexpected, but it hit me a lot harder than it normally would which took me by surprise. And toward the end of that second block, I could tell the nausea wasn’t going away like it normally does and I needed to leave class. I’ve only had to leave class to be sick a few times before, so it’s rare for this to happen to me. And this was the worst it’s ever been. I was in the bathroom sick for a few minutes and I started to wonder if I would need to leave class. Eventually, I was able to keep down some water and some of the nausea passed, so I returned to class. I know that probably sounds crazy, but I figured I could just go easy for the rest of the workout and see what happened.
Because I was in the bathroom, I missed the very beginning of the rowing work. But I tried to get into it as quickly as I could. The first block was timed with the cardio with 30-second intervals. I was grateful the intervals were short because that helped me continue with the workout. I also didn’t row as hard as I know I can with the all-outs, so that probably helped too. The second block was rounds of a 30-second all-out row with lunges between each row. This was a little harder since I didn’t have as much time to recover, but again I was grateful the intervals were short.
And on the floor, the first block was timed with the rest of the room for the first block. We had 30-second intervals of exercises with rests when cardio and rowing had their recoveries. We had lunges, shoulder presses, hammer curls, and bicep curls. We repeated the exercises throughout the block and I was glad that none of the exercises were things that could make my nausea worse. The second block was timed on our own. We had marching in place with weight overhead, step-ups, and bird dogs with toe taps. I put the bench lower so I could do the step-ups since I do try to do those whenever I can. Again, I was grateful that none of those exercises made me feel worse but I wasn’t feeling great for the entire floor block and just tried to get through it.
Whatever nausea issue I had on Tuesday eventually went away, but by Wednesday I was dealing with the normal nausea that I was expecting to have. But I was prepared and took all my anti-nausea medications before class which helped to take a bit of the edge off.
We had 2 blocks for cardio. The first block was really tough for me on the bike. We had 1-minute intervals and the incline/resistance level went up every minute. I didn’t start quite as high as I should have, but I knew that I was going to be working my way up. The second block was a little easier but still tough. We had 30-second all-outs at an incline with recoveries between each one. And the recovery got longer each time. Because I was dealing with nausea, I only increased the resistance for some of the all-outs. If I knew I was in the middle of a nausea wave, I just used my normal all-out resistance level.
On the rower, we had one long block and the row focus was doing 500-meter rows. This is usually a really tough distance for me to do since there is a lot of endurance necessary with it, and being nauseous didn’t make it any easier. But I just tried to not take breaks unless I really needed to and I was able to only take a few for nausea and none for endurance issues.
And on the floor, we had one long block which focused on 2 back-to-back exercises that were about strength for one and power for the other. We had woodchoppers and plank pull-throughs, skier swings and deadlifts, and uppercuts and arm raises. The woodchoppers were supposed to be with lunges, but I did them as regular ones. Those as well as the skier swings were adding to my nausea, so I had to rest in the middle of those exercises a few times. But considering how I was feeling, I was very happy with how I did.
Thursday was what I expected for a bad day for me with pain and nausea. It wasn’t unbearable, but it made everything a lot harder for me.
Cardio and rowing worked together for this workout. Every interval was 4 minutes long. If you started the block on cardio you did 1 cardio interval, 1 rowing interval, and 1 cardio interval. And if you started the block on the rower you did rowing for the first and last interval and cardio for the middle one. So in the end, you had 3 intervals for each. Each cardio block was the same, we had a 4-minute distance challenge. And on the rower, we always started with a 10-stroke drill and then rested before increasing the stroke drill by 5 strokes each time. I struggled a lot with the longer stroke drills, so I pretty much kept it to 10 or 15 each time and just alternated between those.
On the floor, we focused on cluster sets with the exercises. So we did a set number of reps first and then go heavier with the weight and do as many reps as possible. The goal is to try to get usually between 6-10 reps with the heavier weight. We had cluster sets of a squat to calf raise, low rows, and bicep curls. And between each exercise, we had either mountain climbers or skater lunges. I used 15-pound weights for my lighter sets and 20-pound weights for my heavier sets for all exercises. I know I probably could have done better, but I was just really nauseous on the floor and didn’t want to risk getting sick as I did on Tuesday again.
This really wasn’t my best week for workouts, but I think considering everything I was dealing with, I did pretty decently. And I know that this week is probably going to be another rough one, I just hope that I don’t have the bad extremes like this past week had.
Last week, I wrote about how I was debating again about reducing how frequently I write blog posts. It wasn’t the first time I was thinking about doing that, but for some reason, it felt different to me. I’m not sure what is making this time different, but I’ve just had a lot of thoughts and reflections on how I’m spending my day each day and what I’m sharing with the world.
I’m so glad that I have shared a lot of things here and I know that it has helped other people, but I also feel weird sometimes knowing that I’m out doing something and I will be writing about it later. I do try to keep things private as far as other people go, so I don’t usually say names unless that person has given me the ok to do so. And I don’t share a lot of details that others tell me because those aren’t my stories to tell. But it’s still a weird feeling being on a date or something and knowing that will make a good blog post and not feeling like I can tell my date about it. And then there is always the fear that they will find my blog and see the posts I’ve written about them. It’s not just with dates, doing things with my friends usually have become blog posts and I don’t like that I always have that mindset. It takes me out of experiencing things as they are happening and makes me think about how I can craft the story I want to tell. Even with some things about my health, I don’t necessarily want to share everything. It’s not because I’m ashamed or gatekeeping anything, but health issues really can vary from person to person so I don’t want to say something that happened to me and have others feel like that’s how it is for everyone.
And when I’m struggling with what I want to write, I feel like I have to take more and more from my life and turn them into posts. Even if I wasn’t planning on writing about something, if I’m really stuck for what I want to write I feel like that’s the only option I have. That pressure hasn’t been horrible, but it does happen from time to time, and I have to decide if that idea is worth writing about, if it’s interesting, or if I’m sharing something that I really want to keep private for now. I don’t necessarily regret any of the posts I’ve written, but I do feel like there are some that I don’t really love. Writing 5 days a week for over 10 years is a lot and my life really isn’t that interesting. I do have some interesting days, but to come up with that many posts means that there are a lot of boring or repetitive posts.
And after I wrote that post last week, the idea of changing my post frequency really just stuck with me. I normally write a post about thinking of doing that and then it leaves my brain. Almost like I just needed to put it out there and then I’m fine. But this time, I couldn’t get the idea out of my mind. And it doesn’t help that I really don’t have anything planned for a while for posts outside of my Monday workout recaps.
So I’ve decided that for May, I want to see if I feel comfortable writing less frequently. I’m torn between wanting to have 2 or 3 posts a week, but it will likely be one of those. And my plan is to still do a workout recap on Mondays and then I’ll do either 1 or 2 other posts during the week. I’m not sure which day or days I’ll post the other ones. It may depend on what I have to write about.
As much as I feel like this is the right move, it’s hard not to think that somehow I’m failing because I take a lot of pride in the fact that I’ve written 5 days a week for over 10 years. But at the same time, the person I was 10 years ago or even 3 years ago is different from who I am today. When I started this blog, I couldn’t have even imagined that I’d still be writing over a decade later. So the ideas I had for myself back then don’t have to be what I hold myself to now.
I also know this might not be the right move for me and I might change my mind. But I want to give it a try and see if maybe I will have a bit less stress since I won’t be spending as much time thinking of ideas and writing. If it works, then I’ll continue with the new plan until I think I need another change. If I hate writing less often, then I can go back to my old ways. This change doesn’t have to be permanent, but I do think it’s a good move going forward.
And no matter what ends up happening with this blog and the frequency of posts, I am so proud that I was able to maintain this schedule for as long as I did. It was a real challenge for me at first since being so public was foreign to me. But for a lot of the struggles I went through over the last decade, having this outlet to write out my feelings has really benefitted me. And I think even with less frequent posts, I’ll still be able to have that same benefit for myself.
Posted onApril 27, 2023|Comments Off on Forgetting A Medical Miracle Anniversary (or It’s Nice That This Isn’t Something I Think About)
I completely forgot to celebrate the anniversary of my not needing to have liver surgery! I’m usually pretty good about remembering dates and anniversaries, even the weird ones, and somehow this one just slipped my mind. I know it’s not something that I have to remember every year, and with my liver, there are a few different dates that are milestones. But I usually seem to remember to celebrate mid-April when I found out the tumors were shrinking and when I was supposed to have surgery but didn’t need it. I don’t always celebrate on the same date, but April 20th is when the surgery was supposed to be so that date usually sticks in my head.
I’m not too upset that I forgot to celebrate this. I do like to celebrate how awesome it is that this all worked out this way for me, but it’s also nice that it’s not something that dominates my mind anymore. From when I found out about the tumors until the surgery was canceled, this really was a huge focus of my life. I tried to not always think about it, but it’s hard not to when you are preparing for a major surgery and staying in the hospital for an unknown amount of time. Even just planning things out with my parents and where I’d be recovering took a lot of time and organization. And after we found out the tumors were shrinking, I still thought about the tumors a lot because I was always worried that my next scan would show that they grew or something else was wrong.
When I had my last liver MRI, which was exactly 5 years to the day since the first one, the tumors didn’t show any growth or change and my liver surgeon agreed that I no longer need to be monitored. I will always probably have at least one of the tumors (only one is visible but the other two might still be there but too small to be seen), but they are no longer a health risk for me. And since I don’t have to be monitored, I’m not really thinking about it anymore. I don’t have to be scared that something will happen because of how big the tumors are or the various risks that I was warned about when they were found.
This is different from how things are with my hip. I’m frequently reminded of the pain and the fact that I still need surgeries in the future. I can’t ignore that this is still an ongoing health issue for me. I guess the tumors can be considered an ongoing health issue as well, but it’s not something I have to confront on a regular basis. I’m not ignoring the fact that I have them, so I’m still not really drinking since that can stress my liver and I won’t go back on hormonal birth control since that would likely make the tumors grow again. There are a few things in my future that might require me to be monitored again, but they aren’t things that I need to worry about or that would happen unexpectedly.
And the more I’m removed from thinking that I need to have surgery, the more likely it will be that I forgot to remember about it. I’ve had so many random health things I’ve had to deal with over the years, and it’s not a bad thing to not always remember all of them. And yes, celebrating something awesome like not needing surgery is good. But not having to spend time thinking about a stressful time in my life is probably better.
Posted onApril 26, 2023|Comments Off on Finding The Perfect Piece (or I’m Glad I Didn’t Buy Just Anything)
As I’ve said multiple times about getting everything set up in my home, I have a lot of things I still want to get but I’m not rushing into buying things. I want to find the right things and not just get something to have a new item. I’m also more willing to spend a bit more on things since I want to get nice pieces and something that will last. I have been lucky with a few of the things I have gotten that were cheap, but I know that’s not always the case.
I have a few different websites that I look at from time to time to search for what I still want to find. I know things online don’t change that often, but you never know when they will update what they carry and when you might find exactly what you want. It is a bit hard since I don’t know what I want for everything, but it’s usually pretty clear whether something has potential.
One of the categories I’ve been looking at online has been outdoor furniture. I have an outdoor table because it is made from extra material from my kitchen counters placed on top of 2 cheap tables. It’s a nice piece and probably fancier than what I would have bought if I was looking in a store, but I like it. But besides from broken plastic chairs that came with my condo, I didn’t have any seating for my patio. So when I wanted to sit outside, I had to bring a towel with me and sit on top of that. It’s not the worst option, and it’s better than having no outdoor space, but I knew I wanted to find some seating. I had an idea of what I would want, but I also knew that would depend on what I found and the sizes of those pieces.
I was looking at the IKEA website recently and noticed they added a few new outdoor couches and chairs. And I found a set that looked like it could be perfect! It came as a loveseat as well as a chair, and I thought that those 2 could be exactly what I’ve been looking for. A lot of outdoor furniture is wood, and I had been warned that there could be a lot of maintenance with wood and needing to stain it every year. But this set was a metal mesh, so it wouldn’t have that same concern. It was more expensive than the wooden pieces, but not too unreasonable compared to what I had been looking at online.
But I wanted to make sure they were comfortable before buying, even though I knew I could always return it. So I went to the big IKEA with my friend Robert this past weekend to check them out and see if these were what I wanted. And he also had some things he wanted to look at, so it was perfect for us to go together.
We found the loveseat and chair pretty quickly and tested them out. And they were so comfortable! They are very deep, but I have the space on my patio for them (which is one of the advantages of having a patio versus a balcony). I had shown my parents these pieces before I went, and I wanted to send them a photo of how nice they were, but I only got one of the chair. But you can tell how big the chair is and can imagine what two of those side by side would be for the loveseat.
I wanted to measure my patio again before ordering, so I knew that I would be ordering them online when I got home. But I was glad that I confirmed that they were comfortable and I liked how they looked. Robert and I continued with our shopping, but I didn’t get anything other than an Icee when we were done. But he found what he needed so I considered it a very successful outing.
When I got home, I realized that I probably wouldn’t have the space to do both the loveseat and chair. I talked to my parents some more, and we figured that I should just get the loveseat and see how things look. I can always buy the chair another time if I think it would be right. And my parents said that they would buy the loveseat as an early birthday present for me!
I’m so excited to be able to use my patio more this summer. I really didn’t get much use out of it last year, but once I can build the loveseat I can enjoy my evenings and weekends out there just reading and relaxing. And I still want to probably get a few more things for my patio, but just having somewhere to sit other than on the ground is a great start!
Posted onApril 25, 2023|Comments Off on A Delayed Annual Review (or Thankful For Some Job Security)
Normally, annual job reviews come at the end of the year or just after the new year starts. Because of a few different things happening at my main day job, our annual reviews were delayed so that they would be a bit more accurate. The executive team knew that looking at our performance during a time when things are not normal and we were doing different tasks wouldn’t be the best way to review us. So we were told in January that our reviews would be delayed until April.
I didn’t mind the delay since I wasn’t worried about how my review would go. I know I’m not perfect, but I have been feeling more secure about my job as changes have happened and I’ve been given more responsibilities. I handle a lot of things now that were done by someone higher up than me. I also have created a lot of different projects of things that I have noticed needed to be done. And I’m always being trained on new procedures so I can take that task off of someone else’s agenda. I know that being given extra responsibilities doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t have to worry about your job being safe, but it is a reassurance that things are going well and that the people higher up than you have trust in you.
Before my annual review, there was a self-assessment that I had to fill out. It was almost the same as past assessments I had to do for this job. Most of the questions were about how I felt like my work was going and if I felt like my time was being used efficiently. There were also questions about how communication was going with those higher up, but I tried to focus more on questions that I had more control over such as how I was doing. I tried to be as honest as possible about where I had setbacks or difficulties. I didn’t say that I was doing everything right, but I also tried to problem-solve a bit when mentioning a problem such as what steps I was waiting on from others to be able to do my work. I had to turn in my form a few days before my review, but I finished earlier since I used some free time I had to get it done.
And when I had my official review, it went pretty much how I expected it to go. My main concern was if my boss felt my self-assessment was accurate or if they felt like I was too hard or easy on myself. Fortunately, she said that she agreed with everything that I wrote and that I had a good grasp on how I was doing with my job and as a part of the company. Even though I felt pretty certain this would be how my review went, it was a relief to hear her say that. I’ve been doing better about not being worried about being fired whenever I have a meeting coming up, but I still have that fear in the back of my head from time to time. I’ve been lucky that it’s been a very long time since I lost a job randomly, but I will probably always worry a little bit that it will happen again. But I just try to tell myself that I wouldn’t be doing the things I’m doing within the company if I was going to be fired soon.
Because I’ve had some job responsibility changes recently, there weren’t a lot of other things to go over in my annual review. My job title isn’t changing since I’m already at a senior staff level and right now we aren’t getting raises because that will hopefully be coming at the end of this year. But last year I had more than the average number of raises, so that makes sense to me. And I know that I’m making more than I did before the pandemic with my other jobs, so I’m happy. Of course, I think everyone would like to make more, but I’m lucky that I’m comfortable right now.
I know that things can change quickly, but after my review, I feel even better about being in a good spot with my job. The higher ups recognize the work I’ve been doing and they have been happy with the results. And hopefully, when I have my next review, things will be just as positive as they were this time.
Posted onApril 24, 2023|Comments Off on Some Fun Workouts For The Week (or Having A Really Good Week)
I had a really good workout week this past week, which made me so happy. I had a bit of a challenging week with stress and other things weighing on me, but my workouts helped me have something positive throughout the week. And even though I still hate waking up so early, I know that starting off my day with someone good really did help me manage everything else I dealt with in my day.
Monday’s workout was a signature workout. We had the Inferno class, which I’ve done several times. This is a rowing challenge so the other sections of the room aren’t as tough to maximize what you can do on the rower. I almost always start with cardio, so I had my rowing section second.
For cardio, we had 2 blocks. The first block had rounds of a push pace to a base pace. The push pace started at 30 seconds and went up by 15 seconds and the base pace stayed at 30 seconds each time. And that block ended with a 1-minute all-out. The second block was similar, but the push paces stayed at 30 seconds and the base pace increased by 15 seconds each time. And again, we had a 1-minute all-out to end the block. I wasn’t going too easy on cardio, but I also tried to not go too hard since I wanted to do really well on the rower.
For the 3 group class, the Inferno workout is a mix of rowing and a floor exercise. We start with a 100-meter row and then we have 20 lateral hops. I did the hops and side steps, but I think that was a good modification. We increase the row by 100 meters each time and the lateral hops stay the same. And the goal is to get as many meters on the rower as possible. I looked at my past Inferno results before this class, so I knew I wanted to just get close to 2000 meters since that was similar to my past attempts. But at the end of the rowing block, I really went hard so I could get all the meters possible. And when the 14 minutes were up, I had a new PR!
I was very happy with that result and I didn’t really expect to PR. But considering all the work I’ve been putting into my rowing form and endurance, it makes sense that I would be able to accomplish that.
And on the floor, we also had 2 blocks that were designed to not be too difficult for people who had the floor before rowing. The first block had chest flys, lateral arm raises, and step-downs. And the second block had standing rotations on the straps, reverse flys, and push-ups. Since I had already completed my rowing, I did go harder and heavier on the floor. But I was also a bit tired after pushing myself so I didn’t have any crazy increases in what I could do.
Tuesday’s workout was a good mix of endurance, strength, and power. And I was pretty happy with which section of the room had each type of workout because I think it fit what my abilities were that day.
Each section of the room had 2 blocks. Both of the cardio blocks were focused on doing incline work at 45-second intervals. For the first block, we started by increasing the incline/resistance level every 45 seconds for 4 intervals and then we decreased the incline/resistance level to get back to a flat incline before doing an all-out. In the second block, we started at the top of the hill and worked our way down before working back up and then going back to a flat road for our all-out. The resistance levels didn’t have to get too high, but I made sure that I did them so I was working above my usual all-out level for the 2 highest levels. That meant I was pedaling very slowly, but I enjoyed the challenge.
Both of the rowing blocks focused on an endurance row. We started and ended each block with a 30-second exercise and we rowed for distance the rest of the time. In the first block, the exercise was squats and in the second block, the exercise was in and out steps. It was about 5 minutes of rowing in each block, and I was hoping to not need to take any breaks during the row since I proved to myself during the Dri-Tri that I could do that. But I think the cardio blocks tired me out a bit so I did take a little break in the middle of each row. But I still did better than expected.
And on the floor, we had 2 exercises for each block. In the first block, we had single-arm high rows and step-ups. And in the second block, we had single-arm chest presses and step-downs. The step-ups and step-downs were supposed to be done with weights, but just doing the exercises instead of doing lunges is a challenge for me and I knew I couldn’t add weights to either one. I just took my time with those exercises since I do still lose my balance from time to time. But even without a weight and going slowly, I felt how tough both exercises were for me.
Wednesday wasn’t anything unique or crazy, but it was still a good workout and I was pushing myself since I was having a good week.
We had 3 blocks for cardio. The first block had 2 rounds of a 1-minute push pace and a 30-second base pace with a 1-minute all-out at the end. The second block had 1-minute intervals with increasing speed for a total of 4 minutes. And the last block had a 3-minute push pace with a 1-minute all-out at the end. The goal was to match or beat your distance from the first block in the last block. I didn’t track my distance since that’s not very easy to do from block to block on the bike, but I felt like I was doing a lot more in the last block so I think I was very close to my first distance if I didn’t beat it.
On the rower, we also had 3 blocks. Each block had a specific distance to row and an exercise to do between each row. The first block was a 200-meter row and pogo hops. I did my best with the hops, but they were a bit more like calf raises with a little bounce. The second block was a 150-meter row and side-to-side steps. And the last block was a 100-meter row and twisting hops, which I did as squats. Since it takes me a bit of time to get on and off the rower, I didn’t get in a lot of rounds each block, but I did my best.
And on the floor, each of the 3 blocks had 2 exercises. The first block had lunges to hops and plank taps. The second block had single-arm clean-to-press and plank jacks. And the last block had single-arm snatches and hip bridges. I went very heavy with my hip bridges since I know I can do a lot of weight for those. And for the lunges to hops, I balanced against the wall and did my best with getting the full exercise done.
Thursday’s workout was a themed workout because it was National Squat Day. So of course, the workout had a ton of squats in it. As much as I know squats are a good exercise, they are tough for me to do with my hip issues. So I knew I’d have to take some breaks throughout the workout to not hurt myself too much.
Fortunately, for cardio, we had no squats and it was just cardio work. The first and the last blocks were the same. We started with a 1-minute all-out followed by a 30-second recovery. We continued that pattern with the all-outs decreasing by 15 seconds each time. And we ended each of those blocks with a 15-second all-out, which we never really do. I didn’t change my resistance levels for the shorter all-outs, but I did really try to pedal faster as they got shorter. And for the second block, we spent most of the time at a push pace. But every 30 seconds, we had a 15-second surge where we were supposed to go faster. The idea we were given was if we were in a race and trying to overtake a competitor. That was something different and I liked trying to do short bursts of faster pedaling since that is close to what I like to do during the Dri-Tri.
On the rower, blocks 1 and 3 were similar. We started with an exercise for 6 reps and then did a 100-meter row. Then we did the exercise for 8 reps and another 100-meter row. That pattern continued through the block with the exercise increasing each time and the row staying the same. In the first block, the exercise was goblet squats. And in the third block, the exercise was sumo squats. And the second block matched cardio with the push pace and surges. I did have to take a few breaks in that row, but I was happy that I was able to do the surge rows each time with increased wattage on the rower.
On the floor, again blocks 1 and 3 were the same. We were timed with cardio for those blocks and it was all different types of squats. When cardio was in recovery, we had those 30 seconds to get 10 squats to calf raises done and if there was any time left we could rest. And when cardio was in an all-out, we had different exercises. For the 1-minute intervals, we had step-out squats. For the 45-second intervals, we had sumo squats with weights. For the 30-second intervals, we had kneeling squats to stands which I did as a squat hold. And for the 15-second intervals, we had speed squats so we just did as many squats as we could as quickly as possible. Those floor blocks were really hard on my hips and I just had to listen to my body and rest if I knew I couldn’t keep going. I tried not to be too frustrated when I took breaks since I knew those breaks allowed me to do more than if I hurt myself. And in the middle block, we were on our own timing with side-to-side step-out squats and bicycle crunches. This block was a little easier since we could rest more, but those side-to-side squats were a lot harder than they looked!
I really feel like this past week of workouts represented what I wish each week could be for me. I did push myself hard, even though I had moments when I couldn’t quite accomplish everything. But I left each workout feeling like I had some really great moments and I didn’t think I held myself back too much. If only every week for me was this great!
Posted onApril 21, 2023|Comments Off on 1 Year Of Living In My Condo (or I Do Feel Settled In)
1 year ago, I had a moving truck move most of my furniture from my rental to my condo. This move was one that felt like it took months, and in a way, it did take months. I moved things very slowly into the condo, starting from when I got the keys. I didn’t move much into my place until most of the renovation was done, but the renovation also felt like moving in since I was picking appliances and other items to have here. And once the renovation was getting close to being done, I started to move a few boxes of stuff over almost every day until I had officially moved out of my rental.
When I had the moving truck move my stuff, that was when I really felt like I had moved in. My bed was already here since I got a new bed for the condo, but having my couch, tv, and desk really made the condo somewhere I could live and work. Even though a lot of the furniture I moved over here has been replaced or will be getting replaced, I made things liveable for me as soon as I could.
I didn’t give up my keys to my rental until the last day of April last year, but those last few days there were only for me to finish giving away some things I had there and for doing a big cleaning so I could make sure I get my deposit back. Once I was sleeping and working at the condo, my old place stopped feeling like home to me. It’s crazy how quickly things switched from it feeling like my place to feeling like it was just a random place. But it took longer for the condo to feel like it was my home.
I had things in boxes for a very long time. I am the type of person that likes to unpack and get organized as soon as possible, but it wasn’t that simple for me after my move. I needed to get a lot of things to be set up, so keeping things in boxes was the best solution until I had what I needed. And I do still have 2 boxes of things, but those are mainly things that I want to have in my office when I eventually buy the bookcase Murphy bed that I will hopefully get in the near future. But I’m able to keep those boxes in a closet, so they aren’t sticking out and obvious anymore. Once I finally got rid of the boxes that I was seeing all the time, I felt so much more settled.
The condo felt like a space in flux for a long time, and I think that was preventing me from fully feeling like I’m home. I also had things that I was still trying to figure out where I wanted to put them and I knew that once they were displayed, I would feel more like it was my place. I also think getting some new furniture that fits the size of my condo better really helped because my old living room furniture really made me feel like I was just using furniture temporarily here and that it wasn’t meant to be what I had permanently. It’s weird how getting furniture that fits properly like a new tv or tv stand really can make things feel more grounded.
All of the things I want to replace or buy now are things that I don’t necessarily need or will make the condo feel more like home. I can’t wait until I get the bookcase Murphy bed because that just looks incredible. I also will be getting a new desk that will be much more functional for me. My current desk isn’t bad, but I know I can get something that fits my needs better. And I’m looking at getting a new dining room set because what I currently have starting to show a lot of signs of age (but it is 50 years old so it’s not weird that it’s starting to fall apart a bit). I also need to get some outdoor furniture so I can really enjoy my outdoor space, but it hasn’t been easy to find what I want at a price I can afford. But I keep looking and don’t feel like I need to rush to get something so I’m waiting for something perfect.
This last year has really been a year of getting settled into my new home. It wasn’t easy leaving a home I had been in for 12 years, but I’m so much happier where I am now. I’ve also learned so much about what I need to feel like I’m home and what I need to do to feel like I’m living in a space. And this is just the first year of hopefully a long time here, so I have plenty of time to keep working on new projects, finding new pieces that fit in here, and really making this place my perfect home.
Posted onApril 20, 2023|Comments Off on Doing My Best To Stay Calm (or At Least I’ll Have A Longer Break Between Appointments This Time)
I honestly can’t remember a time when I wasn’t dealing with a lot of anxiety around going to the dentist. I’m sure as a kid I wasn’t as bad as I am now, but I don’t think I’ve ever really been ok going in. I know I do what I should do for my teeth, but genetics really haven’t been on my side and I’ve had so many issues with my teeth. And combining that with a few really bad dentist appointments that really went wrong, I think my anxiety is never going to fully go away. I’ll admit that it has gotten better over time, but I’m always so stressed as I’m going into an appointment.
My last appointment didn’t go as well as they normally do. It wasn’t horrible, but things just took longer and things weren’t as easy as I’ve gotten used to. There are a couple of reasons why this might have happened, but after that appointment, I really told myself I needed to be better about making sure I do everything I could for my teeth. I mainly use a water flosser because I do better with that than normal floss, but I knew I needed to try to use regular floss more often. And I’m not always good about brushing my teeth after eating lunch, but I made an effort to try to do that when I could. Sometimes when I don’t really eat lunch, but instead I eat a snack over a long period of time, that’s not as simple to do. But even a little extra effort can always make a difference.
I felt somewhat hopeful when going into my appointment earlier this week, but I was still shaking as I was walking into the building and waiting in the waiting room. And I wasn’t calming down when I got brought back for my appointment. I feel bad because I know I look mean and a bit rude at the beginning of my appointments, but it’s just me trying to stay calm. I know if I talk too much or think too much about it, my panic attacks will hit me. So I just try to stay quiet and get things started so I can get them over with.
Fortunately, I was right and this appointment went a lot better than the last one. It was easy for me to get through and I had to really focus on trying to not shake too much, but at least I didn’t get any bad news and things went quickly because there wasn’t a lot that had to be done. And because of the timing of when my appointments have been, I was almost due to get new x-rays. But I asked if that could wait until my next appointment because I knew I wanted to be a bit more mentally prepared for that since that can also bring up bad news like fillings that need to be done. Since I’m not experiencing any pain or weird symptoms, my dentist allowed me to wait until just after I’m due for x-rays to get the next set. I know that my next appointment will be a bit more panic-inducing because I know those will be coming up, but I’ll just have to deal with that when it happens.
And I’m a little extra nervous on top of that for my next appointment because I’m actually not going back for 6 months. For a long time, I went to the dentist every 3 or 4 months because of the issues I had. But things have been a lot better over the last few appointments, even with the worse appointment last time, and my dentist said we can switch to me coming in every 6 months. I’m a little hesitant about that since I know that waiting longer could mean that things won’t be as good, but hopefully all the effort I put in at home will continue to pay off and it won’t be as bad as I fear. And if that appointment doesn’t go that well, I can always go back to every 4 months to keep things easier on me.
So I’m excited that I don’t have to deal with being this scared again for 6 months, but I know it won’t be the easiest appointment since there will be x-rays and it’s going to be a bit of an unknown. But hopefully, this last appointment going well is a good omen and things won’t be as bad as I think they might be.
Every so often, I wonder if I should continue writing here or write as frequently as I have been. Sometimes I question it because my life just doesn’t seem that interesting anymore. Sometimes it’s because I know I’m not writing here for the same reasons I did before. And when it was the start of the pandemic, I wondered what I could write about when I was going to be isolated at home. Every time I’ve wondered if I should change things, I usually just decide that I will see how things go and allow myself to change them up if I feel like it’s necessary. But in the end, I never change anything and have continued to write every weekday for almost 11 years now.
I know that these feelings will recur since I will always run into issues like writer’s block or wondering if there is a point to doing what I’m doing. And I’m experiencing those feelings again now. But this time, I can’t exactly pinpoint what’s causing them.
Some of the feelings are probably due to writer’s block since there are so many times that I honestly have to think for a while about what I could possibly write about. I don’t necessarily want to write something just to make sure I don’t miss a day here, but there are plenty of posts that have been written exactly for that reason. I also think I’m feeling very removed from the blogging world compared to how I used to be. I never was super involved, but I used to get invitations to random events or have things that I could potentially go to because I write. I don’t know if all that ended because of the pandemic or if I’m just not famous or popular enough to be included anymore. And I used to love reading other blogs, and I just haven’t been interested in reading them as much anymore. I still read blogs that are written by friends, but I’m rarely reading blogs that are written by people I don’t know personally.
Of the blogs that I still read, I’ve noticed that a lot of people have reduced the frequency of their posts. So many of them used to post every weekday like I do and now post maybe twice a week. But they aren’t on a regular schedule. They just post when they have something to say, which is something that I’ve really considered. I think most of them like not having the pressure on themselves to get something posted 5 days a week and struggling to find content. And while I don’t struggle every week, it’s often enough that I’m thinking if I should make a change as I have considered multiple times.
I also wonder how interesting my life really is. I have a pretty routine and boring life with some random fun things happening from time to time. I write about the same issues with my eating disorder, dating, being in a rut, and health issues all the time. I know these posts are getting repetitive to read because they also feel repetitive to write. But I struggle with the idea of not having a routine with writing since I don’t want to be out of the habit and never write here again.
So I’m back to the same questions I’ve had multiple times over the years. Should I just try to write twice a week and have that as my new schedule? Maybe one post about fitness and one post about something else that happened in my life. And if I have a lot of things happening in my life, it’s not a horrible thing to write about something a few weeks after it actually happened. When I started this blog, I never expected to be writing this long. I’ve written over 2800 posts, which seems crazy that I’ve had so much to say when it feels like so little has happened in my life in the last decade at times. I know I’ve had a few big changes, but overall it doesn’t seem like things are that different from when I wrote my first post.
I’m not going to make any rushed decisions. I have struggled with the idea of changing how often I write several times and I don’t want to make a decision that doesn’t necessarily feel right for me. But the more I have these thoughts, the more I think I need to get out of what is essentially a comfort zone and push myself to do something that scares me. Maybe a change would be good for me. And if I don’t like it, I can always change things back to how they are now. It’s just tough to consider making a change that has been a regular part of my life for over a decade now.
Almost Through A Year Of Monthly Challenges (or Picking A Good Challenge For November)
