Category Archives: Health

How My Goal Setting Is Going (or A Spark Planner Update)

I’ve officially been using my Spark Planner for a full month now and I have to say that I’m loving what I’m getting done with it! While I still use my phone/computer for my scheduling (things overlap and change too often to handwrite everything), I’m using the goal setting sections of the Spark Planner and finding my own ways to customize it to work for me the best that I can. So I figured that a month in would be a great time to do an update!

First of all, I’m still using the weekly calendar feature for blog scheduling. Since the weekly planner has 3 sections for each weekday (morning/noon/night), I use the morning section to write what I want to write about here for that day. It’s so helpful for my Monday posts about Orangetheory because now I write down what I did for each workout after I get home so I don’t forget about the workout (I hope that you’ve noticed that change on here!). It also helps me see where I’m missing an idea or where I have too many posts scheduled for that week so I need to move something to the next week. I’m hoping to make Finding My Inner Bombshell bigger and better this year and planning out my posts will be a big part of that!

For the beginning of January, I didn’t really do much else with the weekly planning section. I sometimes put a to-do list in the noon section so I had it there to check off, but that’s not a daily thing. Then, about a week ago I saw something about making gratitude lists each day to help stay in a positive mindset. So I decided to put a list of at least 5 things I’m grateful for in the night section of the weekly planner now. I’m loving this routine but I need to create an alarm for my phone to remind me to do this in the evening (sometimes I get in bed and realize I forgot to do it, so I have to get up and write them out quickly). I’ve actually made my gratitude lists my 29 day challenge for February!

Speaking of the monthly challenge, I’m so excited to share that I was very successful in my 31 day challenge for January! I decided to challenge myself to do 100% accurate food tracking for the month and I did it! This may be the first time that I did 100% tracking for an entire month and I know that I will be able to keep it up now. The big change I found while doing this challenge is that I’m not loving My Fitness Pal as much as I have in the past.

While I have loved seeing the exact numbers for my calories and knowing I’m under my calorie goal, that also created anxiety when I was over my calorie goal. So I stopped tracking on days where I was going over or when I had a binge. I didn’t want to see what I had done and the number of calories I ate. And that was creating avoidance for me. So I’ve been using Recovery Record now and I love it! There are no numbers on the tracker. You just write what you wrote and how you feel. That’s all. And there are meal reminders so even though I don’t always remember to eat lunch, I at least have the alert that I should eat then.

I’m also loving the monthly/weekly goal setting pages. I don’t hit all my goals at the time, but it gives me something to work toward and each day I look at what the goals are so I can make sure that I’m on track to check off as many of them as I can. It also has made me think more about what goals I want to track and what is really important to me. I never thought that maybe I had some bad goals in mind, but I’m now reconsidering some of them (don’t worry, I’m happy with my 2016 goals I announced on here).

I’m still not sure what I want to do with the monthly calendar or if there is something I want to do regularly with the noon section of the weekly planning pages, but the beauty of this planner is that there isn’t something that I feel has to be there. It’s freeform and I can do what I want. I’m thinking about some ideas with meal planning or maybe workout tracking. I’ve been seeing some awesome inspiration on the Spark Planner instagram page. I know I’ll think of something soon and then that will be what I keep up for whatever time remains in the year.

No matter what else I do with my Spark Planner, I can’t believe how much this planner has influenced and changed my life in the first month. I’m so excited to see how amazing it helps to make my year and how much I’ll be able to get done.

A Full Workout Week (or Sticking With My Plan)

I had a 4 workout week this past week and I feel really great about what I did in my classes! This was my second workout week after making the decision to use the bike on the 4th workout of the week and I’m glad that I made that choice. This week was tough, but I don’t feel totally exhausted from it.

Monday was a bit of an odd day. After the warmup (which was about 5 minutes) we all gathered on the floor and did a core blast for our abs. It was partnered work and used regular sit-ups and some with the medicine ball. It was tough and my abs were so tired after it was done, but that was only the beginning of the workout. After the core blast, we all stood around while our coach Brendon counted us off and split up the group. I almost always do my cardio work first, but this time I didn’t have a choice and I had to do my floor work first. I wasn’t too happy about that, but it is what it is and I got through it the best way that I could.

Once I did get to the treadmill, we had some speed training blocks. Normally during speed training the power walkers just work on incline training. But since I’m still struggling to get past 8 or 10% incline, I didn’t want to push the incline work too much. So I decided to try the speed training with the runners. For the runners, they were supposed to increase their speed by .3 or .5 miles an hour each time, but I knew that it would be too much for me. So I did my increases by .1 miles an hour and got pretty fast (at least pretty fast for me). I know that I can’t do the really fast speeds for more than a minute at a time, but just proving to myself that I can do little sprints made me feel awesome!

On Wednesday, the treadmill block was a solid 30 minutes without floor work in between the blocks. Each block was 5 minutes long (which felt long when we were in the blocks) and I kept all my push paces at 3.6 miles per hour because they weren’t too long. That’s still feeling almost too fast for me, but I know that the more that I do them in short bursts the more normal they will feel. So I’m glad that I was able to push myself a little bit more this time. And I felt even better about my work because I was exhausted that day! I know that going to the Pantages the night before didn’t let me sleep as much as I’m used to. But those Tuesday night shows are a rare thing for me so I’m not too worried about them.

Friday was another 30 minute treadmill block day (I really don’t love those but I’m working on tolerating them more). We had a bunch of pushes that were 3 minutes long which are a big challenge for me. I kept my speed at 3.5 miles an hour for those. And while I did have to take some breaks during the pushes, I tried to go as long as I could before taking a break. 3 minutes is a long time to do a push and having multiple pushes like that really tested my limits. I think I was pretty tired from the workout by the time that I got to the floor. I think I could have used 20 pound weights for a lot of my work, but I just couldn’t lift them so I stuck with 15 pound weights. I regret not trying the 20 pound weights more, but at the time it just didn’t seem possible.

And finally on Saturday I did my cardio on the bike. My heart rate really can’t get that high on the bike (I’m not sure if it’s because of the bike or because my heart rate monitor doesn’t work as well when I’m hunched over on the handlebars), so I don’t stress about what the heart rate screen shows (unlike how I am on the treadmill). Our blocks were about 6 minutes each and we switched between cardio and the floor between the blocks. My legs did get tired on the bike because I was pushing it with the resistance, but I know that my legs and hips were grateful for the break from the treadmill. And getting that break helped my floor work because I was doing a lot of work with the 20 pound weights this time! Those 20 pound weights felt like 100 pounds weights at times, but I pushed through and am so glad that my body doesn’t hurt as much as I would expect after working so hard.

I’ve got another 4 workout week coming up this week and I’m really happy about the plan that I’ve made for myself for that 4th workout of the week. I’m still pushing my limits, but I’m pushing them safely and not hurting my hips as much as I have been in the past. And that’s good because my hip pain has been increasing lately. I have no idea if it’s random or if I have done some additional damage lately (which is expected and I’m almost waiting to have happen before my next surgery), so I want to be cautious. But I think with the mixture of the bike and the treadmill I’m protecting my body while pushing myself at the same time. And that’s exactly what I need to do right now.

I Support Depression Screenings (or Why Must People Shame Others?)

There was an announcement made the other day about the idea that pregnant women and new mothers should be screened for depression. When I read this, I loved the idea right away. 10% of new moms will have some sort of depression and I know that there isn’t always a lot of help that is offered right away. My friends who have had babies have said that the first few weeks after birth can be lonely because they are in their own bubble with the new baby. And if they are depressed and in that isolation, it can be a horrible combination.

I think we are all familiar with some of the horrible stories of when postpartum depression is undiagnosed and new mothers do something drastic like hurt themselves or their children. While screenings can’t prevent all of these incidents, they can help limit them. And knowing that everyone is being screened for depression may help take some of the stigma off of it for new moms.

I don’t have any children, but the idea of postpartum depression has been something I’ve thought about. I have been diagnosed in the past with depression (I still debate if that was the correct diagnosis or if it was really my panic/anxiety disorder being misdiagnosed). While I was being treated for depression my doctor asked me if I was on birth control. When I told her that I was she seemed relieved. I was told that the hormonal changes that come with pregnancy could be pretty bad for me and could make my depression worse. I did some research on postpartum depression and it seems like it’s manageable if diagnosed and treated. Now that I’m not sure if I’ve ever had depression I’m not as worried about it as I was before. But it will be something I bring up when I have kids in the future.

But if people aren’t too familiar with depression and have postpartum depression, they might not know that this is something that can be helped or fixed. And having this screening for new moms will help make sure that everyone is ok.

But after this new announcement, an author shared on Facebook her thoughts about it and it made me pretty mad.

PPD

This is a horrible statement to make. Being diagnosed with depression doesn’t automatically mean getting medication. When I was diagnosed with depression I didn’t get medication. I only got medication after I was diagnosed with panic/anxiety disorder and then it’s only medication that I take when I need it (which isn’t often). Medication is not the only way to treat depression and in fact it’s rarely the first option.

Saying that all hormonal changes are normal will make women who are suffering from postpartum depression think that they can’t get help or that doctors will ignore their symptoms. Saying that meditation, prayer, nutrition, or love will fix it will make women who don’t see results from those things feel even worse about their depression. Sometimes you need to see a doctor, sometimes you need talk therapy, and yes sometimes you need medication.

As far as I know, none of my friends with kids have had postpartum depression. But if they did, I would have supported them in any way I can. I know that mental illness is not something that you can just wish to go way. You need to get help and there’s nothing wrong with that. And hopefully anyone affected gets the help they need and get through this. Depression is something you can overcome, even if sometimes it feels like you can never get out of the hole you feel trapped in.

If you or someone you know has postpartum depression or is struggling, please reach out and get help. Help is out there for you.

Less Panic At The Dentist (or Am I Finally Over This?)

I had to go in for one of my regular cleanings at the dentist on Monday. I’ve talked about my issues with the dentist before and I hate that I’ve had this problem for so many years. I wish I could be someone who doesn’t think twice about going to the dentist and just shows up and gets the cleaning done with.

But instead, I get horrible nightmares relating to my teeth for the week or so leading up to the appointment (usually they are about my teeth falling out or having massive holes in them). And the morning of the appointment my stomach is horribly upset and my heart is racing. I feel sick until after the hygienist (who is awesome and knows how to deal with my panic attacks) tells me that there is nothing that concerns her. Then I just deal with minor stress through the rest of the appointment (she could always change her mind and see something bad with my teeth) and don’t feel stress free until I’m paying the bill (which I think is what most people get stressed about).

This appointment had to be rescheduled from earlier this month and the only time they could fit me in was in the afternoon. I usually like morning appointments so I can get it over with, but it wasn’t going to work that way for me. So I did my best to get through my day (including a morning workout at Orangetheory) and tried to not freak out too much.

Because I’m on Vyvanse (which is a stimulant), my panic medication (which is a depressant) isn’t as effective as it could be. If I was smart that day, I would have used that day as a day off of Vyvanse and just taken my panic meds. But I didn’t think things through. I took both my morning and lunchtime Vyvanse before my appointment and made sure that I was properly panic medication medicated before going to the dentist.

On a random note, I found out that one of the dental assistants at my dentist’s office isn’t there anymore. She was the one who would always call me before an appointment and remind me to take my medication. She saw me before I started taking it and she joked that she never wanted to see that crazy side of me again. I was pretty out of control at one major appointment and I know it isn’t fair for anyone there to have to deal with me when I’m in the middle of a horrible attack. But I’ve always properly medicated myself since then so I saw her reminders as just something funny and a joke between us.

When I got to the office, my heart was racing and I was shaking and sweating. It wasn’t pretty. And I had to wait a bit for my appointment which seemed to make things worse. Thankfully, when I sat in the chair I was able to relax a bit.

It does help that the hygienist changed the order of the cleaning so that it’s easier on me and my panic attacks. It’s all minor stuff she did, but it’s made a major difference for me.

And I’m shocked to report that even with the higher dosage of Vyvanse plus having taken both pill prior to my appointment that this was the easiest appointment I’ve had in years! I don’t know what changed, but I stopped panicking within a few minutes of the cleaning starting. I usually have bruises on my wrists or arms from where I pinch myself to not focus on the cleaning, but I’m bruise-free! And I’ve had appointments where after I’m done my body aches from shaking through the entire appointment. But this time I don’t know if I was shaking at all!

I don’t get why things are easier on me now. It really should be the opposite. And I’m not over my issues with the dentist because my morning was just as bad as it’s ever been. I just was able to feel normal again much sooner than I usually can.

I really hope that this is a new trend for me. If I can get to the point where I’m only panicking before arriving at the appointment, that would be a huge victory for me! I know that if I need major dental work again in the future that the panic attacks may come back stronger than ever (it was a major dental work appointment that started the attacks). And because genetically I have bad teeth it is very unlikely that I won’t need major work in the future.

But for now, I’m thrilled with the progress I’ve made so far and I’m glad that I don’t have to be back at the dentist for 4 months!

Another Try At The Fit Expo (or Finding My Place)

I’ve written about the Fit Expo that I went to over the summer. I think it was pretty well understood that I felt so out-of-place while I was there and I didn’t really have a great time. I know that there were a lot of things working against me at that event. It was a bit of a drive to get there. Parking was not cheap. I had the torn calf and was in a lot of pain. And I’m sure that all of those things combined put me in a pretty bad mood.

So when I was given the opportunity to go to the Fit Expo and Evolution Fitness Conference in Los Angeles, I knew I had to give it another chance. I actually knew a lot of people who were going to be going. The women behind Tone It Up were going to be leading a class and a lot of the friends I’ve met through that workout program were going to see them. But since I had worked out with Tone It Up before, I decided to see what else I could try.

I went through all the class offerings and while there were a lot of things that sounded awesome, only a couple of things worked around my work schedule. So I decided to pick the 2 classes that sounded the best to me. One of those two classes was a POUND workout class. And my Disneyland buddy June happens to be working toward becoming a POUND instructor! So I sent her a message to see if she wanted to come with me, and she bought a ticket so she could join me for the classes!

Since the event was downtown, June and I took the light rail there. It was so much better than the drive I had to do to Anaheim before (and it was much cheaper than the parking near the convention center). June and I were at the check in table less than 30 minutes after we left!

The first thing we did was walk around the expo. It was just as crowded and overwhelming as it was last time. I think that I’m just not an expo type person. We did walk around and check out a bunch of different booths (I found some of my favorite water bottles there!) and we got a couple of food samples. We even ran into the Tone It Up trainers as we were walking in (they were hurrying over to take photos at their booth so we didn’t say hello). I really wanted to learn lots of stuff at the expo, but the noise and crowds didn’t make that easy for us.

So after doing a lap or so around the expo, it was time for us to take our POUND class. We actually saw 2 of the POUND instructors heading over to the class area, so we followed them so we wouldn’t get lost. It was nice walking over to the class area with them because they got to know us a bit (and find out that it would be my first POUND class and that June is in training for becoming an instructor), so by the time we were at the room for the class I was feeling better and less nervous.

They handed us our Ripstix and we had to wait for the class to start. Of course, we took a pre-class non-sweaty photo.

Pound Class

The class was really great! It had some elements that reminded me of SoulCycle (like how all the movements were to the beats in the music). June was next to me in class, so she was there in case I needed her. But fortunately, we got spots toward the front of the room so I was able to see the instructors really easily (there aren’t verbal cues in class, just visual).

It was a great workout, but it was a bit tough on my hips for me. There were a lot of sustained squats and lunges, and those aren’t the easiest for me. But I was sweating, having fun, and time flew by! I’m so glad that we went to that class because to be honest, I wasn’t sure I was going to like it. But now I know that I want to take some classes from time to time. There is a class near my house, but I am thinking about maybe getting the at-home kit so that I can do the workout when it’s a good time for me.

After the POUND class, June and I got some lunch (nothing too healthy because we stayed inside the convention center) and then headed to our next class: The Roll Model. I had signed up for this class because I used to do foam rolling, but I’ve definitely fallen off the foam rolling wagon. This class wasn’t necessarily foam rolling, but it had a lot of the same benefits and I was curious what would be said.

We all got a set of the rubber balls that we were going to use in the class when we walked in.

The Roll Model

Of course in my head, I said that I wouldn’t be buying them but that was before we took the class. The class was definitely designed for trainers and coaches, so some of the technical things were a bit confusing. But I don’t need to know the muscular system and the technical benefits to rolling to be able to do it.

The instructor guided us through the different ways we can use the balls and the reasons why some of them are better than others. And within the first few minutes of the class, I turned to June and said that I knew that I had to buy these because my body was feeling so great after using them! We did some work on our gluten as an example and then were told to walk around. I was shocked to find out that my hips felt more aligned than they had in a long time and my stride was much more normal! I couldn’t believe that doing this made that much of a difference, but there was no denying it!

After the class was done (it was about 90 minutes so we got a lot of rolling work done), I got in line to buy the set of balls we used so that I could do this work at home. I’ve already been doing it at home and I wish I had known about this sooner! My pain is not gone, but it’s different in a good way. Hopefully over time things will just keep improving!

After The Roll Model class, we were ready to head home. We had been at the event for several hours and we were both tired and relaxed after the classes we took. So we walked back to the light rail station and headed back to our side of town.

I’m so glad that I was offered the chance to go to the Fit Expo and Evolution Fitness Conference again! Clearly, my second experience was significantly better than my first! I’ve learned that while I might not be an expo type person, the classes were so wonderful and I wish that my schedule would have allowed me to do more of them. Maybe next year, I’ll be able to go both days and do 4 or 5 classes over the weekend!

Thanks again to the Evolution Fitness Conference for inviting me to the Los Angeles event. You have changed my mind on what these events are all about and how so many people can benefit from attending!

Peak Performance Week (or Getting Closer To Some PRs)

It was another Peak Performance Week at Orangetheory! The last Peak Performance Week was back in November and it was a bit tough for me. I had really wanted to beat what I had done in the previous Peak Performance Week, but since I had my calf tear I’ve been trying to work my way back to where I had been before. It’s tough to know that I had been doing things better/faster/stronger before, but I’m trying to thing of my pre-injury time and post-injury time as two different things (I also have separated my life into pre-hip surgery and post-hip surgery).

So this time, I wasn’t necessarily trying to beat my best time, but just beat what I had done last time. Also, some of the challenges I would be doing were different from last time, so it made it easier not to compare myself to my former self.

Peak Performance

Monday was the 500 meter row. This was going to be a lot easier than the 2000 meter row I did last time (I was going to be missing the 2000 meter row day this time), but just because it was going to be easier didn’t mean that I wasn’t going to push myself like crazy to do something awesome.

It was a 3G day, so we didn’t really have a lot of time at each station. We rotated around a bunch and when it was time for me to do my 500 meter row, I wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted my goal time to be. You are supposed to do at least 100 meters every 30 seconds, so if I followed that I would do it in 2:30. As much as I wanted to see if I could do it under 2 minutes, I knew that wasn’t realistic for me right now. So after I had done about 250 meters, I decided I wanted to come in under 2:15.

500 Meters

It was close, but not quite there. I know I could have done it if the straps around my feet hadn’t loosened so much that I had to stop to tighten them, but I can’t let that get to me. It’s still a good time for me and I know that the next time I have to do 500 meters that I’ve got a good benchmark to try to beat.

Wednesday’s class got off to a bit of a tough start for me. There were so many accidents on the road while I was trying to get to class that I ended up being a few minutes late. Normally, I start my workout on the treadmill because that seems to be easier on my hips. But because I was late, I had to start on the rower first. Fortunately, we switched between blocks so I didn’t have to do 30 minutes on the treadmill at the end of class.

This day’s challenge was 1 minute of burpees. I definitely have a love/hate relationship with burpees, but they are getting easier for me to do. In my 1 minute, I was able to do 10 of them (and we had to go all the way down to the ground each time so it was like having to do a pushup with each one). I didn’t have a goal in mind for this challenge, so to me 10 sounds pretty awesome!

Besides the rough start to my Wednesday workout, the rest of the day went pretty well. My treadmill work was feeling easier than it had in a long time and I was using only 15 pound weights for my floor work (I’m working my way to using those 20 pound weights, but it’s a big jump).

Friday was the day that I had been waiting for. The 1 mile challenge. I think those of you who read this blog regularly know that this challenge is a big deal for me. I do use it as a benchmark for my progress. I’ve had mile times in the past that were over 20 minutes. My ultimate goal is to get down to a 15 minute mile. I know that my mile times on the treadmill versus on a race day aren’t always the same, but I still compare them against each other all the time. Sometimes I’m faster on the treadmill because it forces me to walk faster and sometimes I’m faster at a race because it’s a real flat road and I’ve got adrenaline going. So in my mind, they can be interchangeable.

I’ve had one 1 mile challenge since my calf injury. And while it was slower than my past 1 mile challenge, it was progress compared to my 5K mile time. So I was pretty happy. This time, I knew that it would be close to impossible to beat my 1 mile PR so I didn’t go into this with that mindset. I wanted to beat my last 1 mile challenge time (which was 17:08) and ideally be under 17 minutes.

Technically, at Orangetheory power walkers only have to do half the distance for any treadmill things. So I only had to do half a mile. But I wanted to do a mile no matter what, and I’m glad that my coach Bruce put all the treadmill blocks back to back so I would have enough time to complete it (otherwise, there would only be 14 minutes for me to finish).

When I started my mile, I was off to a great start. I was at 3.5 miles an hour for the first minute or so and then bumped it up to 3.6 miles an hour right after that. I hit the .25 mile mark and was going strong. But then, my shin splints came back. I slowed back down to 3.5 miles an hour hoping that maybe that would help make them feel a bit better. They didn’t and I started to hurt quite a bit.

At the half mile mark, I debated ending my treadmill challenge and just being ok with doing that half mile. But I knew that I would be regretting it later so I kept pushing on. It wasn’t an easy mile and I’m sure it didn’t look pretty. But I did it. And in the end I reached my goal.

1 Mile

My official time was 16:57, which is 11 seconds faster than what I did back in November. It’s 27 seconds slower than my PR, so I’m getting closer to being back there.

I’m so glad that I didn’t give up at the half mile. While I wished that the shin splints hadn’t come back during the challenge, they did and I did the best that I could in the circumstances. I’m sure that if my mile was pain free, I would have been maybe 15 seconds faster. But I met my goal and I’m proud of myself for that.

Since all the treadmill blocks were back to back and I took longer than everyone else to finish their mile (I’ve realized that I might have had the slowest mile of everyone at Orangetheory, but I’m ok with that), by the time that I had walked and recovered it was time to move from the treadmill to the floor work. I missed the run/row that everyone else got to do, but I was glad that the treadmill time was done because I didn’t know how much longer I was going to be able to stand the shin splint pain. I know that pushing through the pain isn’t always the right choice, but I knew it was right for me then.

Overall, I’m very happy with how I did during Peak Performance Week. I always tried my best no matter how I felt and I think that the results show that. I’m happy with all 3 of my challenges and I love that I have new challenges that I can track in the future.

Fit2Fat2Fit (or A Book and TV Show That Get It)

I while ago, I heard of the book “Fit2Fat2Fit“. It was the story of a personal trainer named Drew who gained 75 pounds so he could understand what it was like for his overweight clients to lose weight. Immediately I was interested and got the book to read. I read it so fast and loved the message that the trainer shared.

Fit2Fat2Fit

So many trainers and coaches out there have never had to deal with a weight problem. They don’t understand the mental and physical toll excess weight puts on a person. They see someone overweight and think that the person is uneducated and just needs to be taught how to work out and eat better. They think it’s just as simple as that.

But that’s not the case at all.

Compared to most of my friends who have never had a weight issue, I’m possibly more educated about nutrition. I can guesstimate calories with the best of them. I know what is good, what is bad, and what is ok as a treat. Every bite I take I know if I should be ok eating it or if it’s something that I need to think of as an ok indulgence. I know the food pyramid, how many servings of each thing I should have each day/week, and how many calories my body takes to be alive. I might not be the most educated on what workout routines I should do, but I’ve got nutrition and food down. I may have an eating disorder, but I don’t have a lack of education.

Lack of education may be the issue for some people, but it isn’t for the majority. We know what we should and shouldn’t do, but there is something else in our bodies saying otherwise. And unless you have been there, you don’t get it. I try to explain it the best I can on here, but I know that the voice in my head is so much louder and more persuasive than I could ever explain.

That is why I loved the book so much. Drew didn’t understand at first that when you are heavy, you might not have the same motivation or energy to work out. Or if you are used to eating fatty foods that your body craves them and that eating healthy doesn’t give you the same joy that food has given you in the past (and you have depended on that joy from food). Once he gained the weight and tried to immediately get back to his old routine, he realized that it was not as easy as that. People don’t need to be educated, they need to be understood and guided to a healthy lifestyle.

I’ve been lucky at Orangetheory that none of my coaches have judged me or have tried to talk down to me because of my weight (that has happened with coaches/personal trainers in the past). They understand that I have an eating disorder and am working my way toward recovery. They get that I need support but not lectures. But I know that not everyone has that experience. As much as I think that all trainers should do this experiment to understand what their clients go through, I understand that it isn’t realistic. But I think reading the book can help them get it.

I’ve loved the book for a while, but I discovered last week that now there is a TV show on A&E with the same name about the same concept. A trainer takes 4 months to gain as much weight as they can and then work with an overweight client to take the weight off together. I’ve seen the first episode so far, and I really enjoyed it (and didn’t hate-watch it like I do with other weight loss shows). The trainer didn’t quite understand that things would be hard when he gained weight at first. But once it was time for him to get back into his regular routine and try to lose the weight, he got it. He understood the food withdrawal and the exhaustion of exercise. He became more empathic about what clients might be going through and saw the journey from the client side instead of the coach side.

I’m sure that all the episodes will follow a similar format, but I think that it is an amazing show to watch. I know that people will still judge me and other’s based on appearance, but hopefully they can understand the issues we face just a little bit more.

Balancing My Workouts (or Doing Some Planning)

It was another week of highs and lows in my workouts. I had to do some real thinking about how I can continue this lifestyle long-term and I think I’ve found some great ideas to help me.

Monday was a bit of an odd day for me. I went to an afternoon workout instead of a morning one because of filming my friend’s project. I do afternoon workouts most days, so it wasn’t too bad. But it seemed to throw my day off a bit and I had trouble with figuring out when I should eat because I ate breakfast so early and didn’t want to eat lunch too late and get sick in my workout. But I managed to figure out something that almost worked for me (I didn’t eat enough before my workout so I was getting a bit light-headed).

Monday was a run/row day (those really are my favorites) and because the run segments were short enough, I was able to do my push paces at 3.6 miles per hour for the entire class. I’m hoping that I can get my base pace up to 3.5 miles an hour, but that’s still a struggle for me. But I’m ok with getting my push paces up. And as I mentioned before, I’m focusing on my speed on the treadmill instead of increasing the incline. I feel like that is making things a bit easier on my hips and calf so I’m happy to continue doing that.

Wednesday was a bit of a tough day for me. I’m not sure if I was getting shin splints again, but my legs didn’t feel right. It wasn’t the same as the usual shin splint pain. It was more toward my ankles and didn’t start until the end of the treadmill segment, so I didn’t stress out about it too much. As soon as I got off the treadmill I focuses on my weight works and was successful in only using 15 pound weights (no 12 pound weights at all that day!). We also ended the day with a 3 minute row and I felt like my form was a bit straighter than it has been in a long time (when I bend my legs on the rower, they go more out like a butterfly than bending like a squat). I did take care of my legs after class, so I didn’t have any pain on Thursday like I have in the past with shin splints.

Friday was a crazy day for me. I wasn’t thinking that it was the start of a holiday weekend and I was late for class for the first time ever! Fortunately, my friend Dani was there and saved me a treadmill. I was only 3 minutes late, but it did throw me off. It was another run/row day, so I was pretty happy about that. I was mainly doing 3.6 miles an hour, but I tried to increase it to 3.7 for the last 30 seconds of each treadmill block. My legs were feeling fine, so that was a relief. And Friday marked the start of the Orangetheory weight loss challenge so I’m glad I got the challenge off to a good start with a great workout.

I also added in a 4th workout on Saturday. And this is where I’ve made a decision that I think will help me out. While I don’t love using the bike instead of the treadmill, I’m terrified of overdoing it on the treadmill. So I’ve decided that on weeks that I do 4 workouts, I’m going to do that 4th workout on the bike (or the 1st workout of the week on the bike if that’s on a Sunday). It’s hopefully going to help my hips take a bit of a break without having to take a break completely with the workout. So on Saturday this past week, I was on the bike. I wasn’t able to get my heart rate up as high as I’d like, but I’m wondering if that may be because of how I’m hunched over on the bike and how the heart rate monitor fits in that position. But I was pedaling a lot faster than I have in the past and that made me very happy.

My weight work on Saturday was great. I was doing deadlifts with 25 pound weights and my bicep work with 15 pound weights (although I’m thinking now that I could have done 20 pounds weights). I also had some great improvement on my form on the work on the TRX straps. I don’t know what clicked for me this week with form, but there was something that just made everything easier to do so I could push myself even more than I was before.

I’m not sure when my next week of 4 workouts will be (maybe in 2 weeks), but I’m liking the idea of taking a bit of a break with that 4th workout being on the bike. Knowing that is my plan, I might start doing more 4 workout weeks if my schedule allows. I’m hoping that one day, that will be what my normal weeks will be like. But for now, I’m happy with only sometimes doing that 4th workout.

My Word Of 2016 (or I’m Going To Be Strong)

I did my first word of the year last year, and I’ve decided to continue the tradition of that this year. I started thinking about what I wanted my word for 2016 to be at the beginning of December and it was tough to figure out what I wanted it to be.

I loved that my word last year was “bold” because it could mean lots of different things in different parts of my life. I wanted another word that was more on the positive side (I think that’s what everyone wants their word to be like) and I wanted it to match and enhance my word from last year.

I spent a lot of time brainstorming and scribbling out ideas. There were a lot of words that seemed good, but for some reason or another they just didn’t feel right to me. Or they might have been awesome, but I could only see myself using the word as a focus on one part of my life. But after a lot of thought, this is what I’ve come up with for my word for 2016.

Strong

I think “strong” is a perfect word for this year. It does go as a nice companion word to “bold” in my mind. And it can have a couple of different meanings for lots of different things that I have in my life.

In my acting career, I want to be stronger in my auditions and meetings. I want to make strong choices and show that I can be a strong actor. This is very similar to being bold, but I think I like strong better because you can be meek but strong at the same time. Sometimes, I need to be a meek performer in the audition room, and I can still feel like I’m honoring the word “strong” while doing that. It doesn’t feel like an act that I’m trying to put on (like bold felt at some random times). This just feels much more natural and achievable to me.

I like having “strong” as a focus word for my workouts for some pretty obvious reasons. I’m trying to focus on getting stronger versus losing weight. I feel like losing weight is such a weird journey and has so many ups and downs (literally). But focusing on getting stronger is much more linear for me. I know when I’m able to use heavier weights for different things and I know when my rowing is at a higher wattage. And I can use that as a focus word for my speed training on the treadmill too. Being strong has become a priority for me in my life, and having it as a focus word for the year is perfect.

“Strong” is a good word for my hopes of getting into recovery with my eating disorder too. I need to be strong to win the battle. I need to be strong in my efforts to track my food, track my feelings, and track my episodes. It’s easy to not track things when the day isn’t going so great, but I need to be stronger than that and track things anyway. I’ve found a new app that I’m using together with My Fitness Pal that is helping. When you track food, you don’t have to see the calories. All you put down is what you ate and you track other things like feelings and other thoughts as well. I’m not switching to that app totally yet because I do still like tracking calories on My Fitness Pal, but I’m open to the idea in the future of not having calories as a focus at all.

I’m really looking forward to making 2016 my strongest year yet in so many parts of my life. I’m really feeling good about the progress I’ve been making lately and I hope that I’m able to maintain what I’ve been doing and just keep moving forward. I’ve got my word up as the background of my computer so I’m reminded of it every day. And I’m looking forward to sharing with you in a year about how my year of being strong went.

My 2016 Goals (or I’ve Got Some Big Ideas This Year)

Happy New Year! I hope that you all got to spend New Years Eve last night with people you love and had a great time (and hopefully not feeling it too much today)! As I’ve done the past few years, I’m sharing what my goals are for this year and what I hope to accomplish.

First is my big workout goal. I want to do 180 workouts in 2016. It’s only 5 more workouts this year than I did last year, but I wanted to make the goal not too much of a stretch. I’d love to pass this goal and do closer to 190, but I also know that life can get in the way and I don’t want to stress out about reaching my goal like I did in 2015. I think it’s very doable and I’ll be tracking my workouts using the same app I did last year (it made this very easy for me). So hopefully in a year I’ll be telling you all how I got this done!

My next goal is to have a new PR for my 5K. This one is going to be difficult for me because I’m still dealing with calf pain, but I think that maybe I can do it. Right now, I have 2 5Ks that I’m planning on doing (the same ones as last year) but I might add another one in there. So there aren’t a ton of opportunities to get a PR, but I will have a ton of time on the treadmill at Orangetheory to work on my speed training. I still have an ultimate PR goal for my 5K (15 minute miles) so I can feel comfortable doing a Disney race, but I know that this goal is very possibly a few years away.

Next on the list is a money goal. Or more like money goals (but I’m combining it into one goal). I want to get my debt down farther, budget better, and even maybe start having more savings than just what I’m saving for my taxes (as a 1099 employee, I will probably owe a lot in taxes). This is not an easy goal. Money is tight and while I wouldn’t say that I have a spending problem, it’s hard to not spend like some of my friends do at times. And those friends sometimes make 4 or 5 times what I make. I’ve been using You Need A Budget for a budgeting app and I think I’ve gotten budgeting close to what I want it to be. However, YNAB just launched a new version and it’s a subscription payment model. I can still use the old version and not have to spend money on the app, but I’m also looking into new apps to use because I don’t want to spend $50/year on a budgeting app when that money could go to something better. I do have an amount in mind as far as reducing my debt goes, but that’s something that I’m going to keep to myself for now.

Next is a fun one. I want to travel more and find more ways to spend time with my friends. While I’m ok with saying no to going to parties and things, I like going on adventures and fun outings. So I want to work on figuring out adventures to go on with my friends so that we can have more fun. And for traveling, I’ve got one trip planned for February with my mom and I’m hoping to do a trip with my sister-in-law in March or April. So that’s a step in the right direction.

I’d also like to do another acting class this year. I think it will probably be the next level at UCB, but I’m open to acting classes that fit into my schedule and my budget. While it’s important for me to keep working on my acting skills, I want to be in another class for other reasons. It’s great meeting new actors, it makes me happy because I get an opportunity to act, and I feel like I’m making progress in my career even if I’m not auditioning. So I feel like this is important for me to do and I feel pretty confident that I’ll be able to get this done.

And finally, I want to be either in recovery from my eating disorder or on my way to recovery. I’m starting to look at my eating disorder as something to research and educate myself on instead of an emotional thing. I’ve been doing reading, listening to podcasts, and using apps for my eating disorder over the past week and I’ve already felt a difference. It’s still a battle that I lose sometimes, but I’m feeling much better about how I’m approaching things this time. And hopefully in a year I will be posting that I’m either in recovery or I’m getting very close to recovery. That would be such a wonderful thing I could accomplish in this year and if it happens I know that it will change my life.

So that’s it for my goals for this year! I think that I’ve got some good plans in mind. And while they won’t be easy to get done, they are not completely out of my reach. I’d love to hear some of the goals that you have for the coming year and hopefully we can keep each other on track!

Happy 2016!