For this year, I decided to do a word for the year for the first time. I was inspired by my fellow bloggers and decided to go for it. The word that I had decided on was “bold” and I really felt like it was the perfect word for me to use for 2015. Now that the year is about done, I’m looking back at my year and trying to think if I was bold.
I worked hard to remind myself to be bold when I could. I used the word as the background of my computer and used a similar graphic without the word as the background on my phone and iPad. So I was constantly reminded of it. There are still times that I feel like I can’t or won’t be bold, but I think I made a good effort at it.
The place where I think I was the boldest in 2015 was my acting career. I took new risks in my auditions and wasn’t afraid to make a wrong choice. I know that making an incorrect choice is really better than no choice at all. I decided that I was going to make each character strong in my mind and go with it full force. I know that not all my choices were right (and I didn’t book much this year), but I know that casting directors will remember me for being prepared and taking a risk. So many auditions of mine are in offices that I’ve been in before, so I know that they like me as an actor. It just might have been in the past that the part wasn’t right for me.
Not only was I being bolder in my auditions which allowed me to leave the audition room feeling better, I was bold in my actions outside of performing in the acting world. I never would have thought of running as a SAG-AFTRA delegate in the past, but this year when I was asked to do so I said yes before I could talk myself out of it.
Running as a delegate wasn’t always easy (some of the hate messages I got still are stuck in my head), but I’m so glad that I did it. I met some amazing people and I really had the best time at the National Convention. I’m actually sad that the National Convention isn’t every year. I don’t know if I’ll run for local or national board in the next elections (I’ve got plenty of time to think about that), but there’s no question that I’ll be running as a delegate again. The education that I got about the union during the convention was invaluable and I know that it will make me a better union member for it.
I was also bold in working on overcoming my eating disorder this year. I got a new therapist and I’m now trying medication to help me win this battle. I’m still in the depths of my battle and it feels at times that I will never get over my eating disorder, but I’m done being a victim of it. I’m working hard at it and hopefully sometime soon my hard work will pay off.
Finally, I think I was bold in my social life. Not in the sense that I was bold as a person at events but in the sense that I stopped being scared of saying no to an event and staying home. While I’d love to go out every time that someone has a fun event, sometimes I need to be at home for the evening. I might be tired or not feeling well or I might just not feel up for it and don’t want to force myself to go. But I don’t care anymore about missing things. Sometimes I wish that I could go, but I’m not feeling like I’m missing out on things as much as I did in the past. So saying no is a bold choice.
I’m still finalizing what my word for 2016 will be and I’ll be sharing that next week. But I’m really happy how I embraced bold as my word for 2015 and the results that I got from it!