Category Archives: Food

Learning Lessons (or What Being Sick Taught Me)

Posted on October 28, 2016 | 1 comment

I’m finally feeling almost 90% better now. This past week seemed to drag on as I felt off, but I’m glad that I almost feel like myself again. I’m questioning if the residual uncomfortableness is related to my liver, but I won’t find that out until I meet with the surgeon in a week and a half. And I think that going to Disneyland was good for my mental health and that helped me to feel better.

I’m still being very careful with what I’m eating and trying to take things easier than I normally do. I don’t want to do anything that will make me feel horrible again and being cautious makes me feel a bit in control in a situation that feels very out of control to me right now.

Now that I’m almost over whatever stomach thing I had, I’ve been reflecting a bit on what good things came out of this. Obviously, discovering that there may be a cyst on my liver is something good to learn about. If I didn’t have the stomach pain, I wouldn’t have known until it was worse and it may have been a more urgent situation. And I’m starting to wonder if my stomach pain was my body telling me to get checked out. I know when my mom found out she had cancer, it was because of a suspicious bruise that wouldn’t go away. The bruise had nothing to do with cancer, but it was what got her to the doctor and to do all the medical testing. Maybe my body was doing the same thing.

I’ve been on a pretty restricted diet since last Wednesday. At first, it was just clear liquids (chicken broth and jello) and has moved to soft foods. I’m starting to eat more normally now, but I’m still keeping things a bit restricted. This doesn’t feel like a weight loss diet, but that’s what it is. I’m eating mainly fruits and some vegetables with very little meat. This is not the most restrictive diet I’ve been on, but it’s up there.

But because of these restrictions I’ve been rediscovering foods that I love or that I forgot could be just fine for a meal. I’ve rediscovered cream of wheat (although the exact packets I loved before don’t seem to be in stores anymore). I make it with water and have a banana with it and it’s a pretty filling breakfast or lunch. I’ve had cheese and crackers for dinner one night when I was feeling a bit full and knew I still needed to eat something. And I’ve been looking at making the sautéed vegetables again that I used to have a lot when I was on the cleanse I did last year.

All of those foods are things that I could have had before, but I either forgot I enjoyed them or was so focused on other things that I wanted to eat that they just didn’t come to mind. These are all good and healthy things for me to eat and I need to work on keeping them in regular rotation. While I’m still a believer that a calorie is a calorie is a calorie, there is a difference in how you feel when your calories are from a variety of foods versus a binge of one food.

I’ve also learned how to be gentle with myself. It’s not easy to take things easy, especially when you know you have so much you need to get done. I don’t want to be lazy and sit on the couch all day because that reminds me of myself when I wasn’t working hard at bettering myself. But sometimes, you need to have those days on the couch doing nothing. It was important for me to do that so I could get better and if I had pushed myself I know I wouldn’t be feeling as good as I do now.

And finally, I’ve learned to accept the out of control feeling again that I really hate. Right now because my liver isn’t healthy, I can’t take any painkillers. I hate the idea that I might be in pain and can’t take something to make it better. But I have to deal with that now and it’s been a good thing for me. I may have been taking too many painkillers for what I really need (I usually took 3-4 a week so it wasn’t close to what the maximum I could take would be). I’ve had to tolerate a bunch of needles lately. In the last month I’ve had 3 blood draws, 3 shots, and 1 IV for an MRI. And I’ve got at least one more IV coming up next week. It’s not fun, it’s not easy, and I can’t do anything to change it. So I have to learn how to accept something I can’t fix and make it the best situation I can.

While I wish I could have learned all these things without getting sick, at least knowing something good came out of it makes me feel a bit better about the situation. I know that I may need this positive thinking to continue as I do more tests on my liver and find out what a surgeon thinks needs to happen. Maybe I will learn more lessons from this whole liver situation to make it even seem more worthwhile that I had to go through something that isn’t that great. I know how easy it can be for me to get sucked into feeling sorry for myself (I had that happen when I got sick last week) and I am refocusing my energy on learning what I can from the circumstances I’m in.

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Default ThumbnailMy Cold Caught Up With Me (or I Guess I Was Due To Get Sick) Default ThumbnailAvoiding Something I Should Be Doing (or Scared Of What I’ll Find Out) Default ThumbnailLosing Some Weight (or Confused If This Is Good) Default ThumbnailYup, I’m Sick (or Trying To Take Care Of Me) Default ThumbnailFinishing Up The Cleanse (or Some Lessons I’ve Learned) Default ThumbnailAnother Attempt At A Reset (or Feeling Sick Got Me Into A Bad Routine)

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Magic Castle Fun (or Girls Night Out)

Posted on October 20, 2016 | Comments Off on Magic Castle Fun (or Girls Night Out)

I’ve been fortunate to be able to go to Magic Castle twice in the past. It’s a really fun place to go to and since you need to be invited it’s not something that everyone gets to do. I don’t know members, so it’s not something that I can be invited to that often. But through a friend of a friend, I was able to get an invite to Magic Castle and I organized another girls night out there!

I had a great group of friends with me when we went this past week. In that group, I had my friend Shey (my Evil Twin), my workout buddy Dani, and my friend Camber who I met through my WIF mentoring group. Shey also invited her roommate and one of her roller derby friends to round out the group. I think it was a really great group and we were all so excited to be at Magic Castle.

red-carpet

The rules are that you cannot take photos beyond the lobby, but the entire place was decorated for Halloween and I totally loved that! The only photo of the decorations I could get was in the lobby, but you can see the fun stuff that they put out to celebrate.

magic-castle

We arrived at Magic Castle a bit before our dinner reservations, but they opened the dining area a bit earlier than expected so we were able to get in for dinner pretty quickly. And it turns out that our server was a friend of Shey, so that was fun! The dinner that they serve is pretty delicious and I was excited to have a nice splurge meal. I didn’t drink any alcohol (I wanted to save the money and calories for food), but I didn’t miss drinking at all. For my dinner, I had a steak (and it was cooked perfectly!) and I got some banana pie for dessert. It was a bit more food than I’m used to, but it was really good and I was glad that I didn’t try to restrict my food too much!

All of us had a great dinner and we enjoyed discussing tons of random stuff over dinner. Considering that most of the people in the group didn’t know each other before that night, it was awesome to see everyone get along so well. You never know when you create group outings like this if things will go well, so I’m so grateful that it turned out perfectly!

After dinner, it was time to see the main stage show (we get tickets to guarantee seats with our dinner). We got there a bit close to showtime, but we found 3 seats in one row and 3 seats right behind it toward the front of the room. We were off to the side, but we had a great view and the tricks that the magicians did were pretty incredible! I knew how a few of them were done because of a show I’ve seen on how to do magic, but there were so many tricks that I couldn’t figure out how they were done!

After the main stage show, our next stop was the close up magic room. We ended up being in the front row for the show so we were super close to everything happening. Usually the close up room is my favorite, but the magician that we watched seemed to be a bit nervous and their hands were shaking really hard. It started to make me nervous, but he was still able to do some great tricks and everything was impressive.

Our next stop was to try to see the last stage show at Magic Castle, but we missed the show we were hoping to see. We figured we’d wait an hour to see the next showtime and were trying to figure out what to do. All of a sudden, a man at the bar asked us what we were doing and we said we didn’t know. He responded that we were his audience for the show he was about to do. There was a card table near the bar where we all sat down and he did a bunch of different tricks.

He was so impressive! The fact that he didn’t have time to prepare since he just found us while he was eating at the bar was amazing. And the tricks blew all of our minds! We kept trying to figure out what was happening or how he could do it, but none of us could figure out anything! I’m so glad he was willing to put on a show for us because it ended up being the best show of the night!

We made it to the last stage show after our private show, and that was really fun too. There were some great rope magic tricks as well as some disappearing money ones. And the magician was very animated and kept everyone’s attention even though it was close to midnight on a weekday when we were at the show.

By then, we were all pretty tired (we had been there for over 6 hours) and most of us had to work the next morning. So it was time to say goodnight and for all of us to head home.

This was just a really great night out with my friends and I’m so lucky that I was able to get to Magic Castle again. I’m hoping that I might be able to get another pass at some point next year because there were a lot of friends who wanted to come but couldn’t due to scheduling. I’d love to have a chance to share this amazing place with more people soon!

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Default ThumbnailGirls Night Out (or How to Find a Cute Dress When You Are Bigger Than a Size 18) Default ThumbnailA Night Of Stand Up (or Just Having Fun With My Friends) Default ThumbnailJust A Fun Dinner Out (or Remembering To Have Fun) Default ThumbnailA Night Of Magic (or Not Quite A Musical) Default ThumbnailMargaritas and Mexican Food (or Girls Night Out!) Default ThumbnailA Tasting And Theater Night (or Enjoying A Fun Night Out)

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An Overdue Friend Hangout (or A Medical Discussion Dinner)

Posted on October 19, 2016 | Comments Off on An Overdue Friend Hangout (or A Medical Discussion Dinner)

There have been some friends that I haven’t gotten to see in a while. It’s a lot of issues with scheduling with all of our crazy schedules, but also time flies by and we forget how long it’s been. So when a friend of mine invited me to dinner recently and I realized it had been months since we had seen each other, I said yes right away!

This friend is someone who I used to see pretty much every week, but our schedules haven’t been matching up lately. She also had some medical things to deal with that prevented her from doing too much stuff. But we’ve stayed in touch through texting so when we got together, it felt like almost no time had passed!

We went out for Mexican food and I was a little nervous about it. I’ve been doing really well with my food lately and I didn’t want to eat too much or something that I shouldn’t (there was also another dinner coming up that I knew would be a splurge). Fortunately, neither of us cared to eat chips and salsa, so we didn’t get any for our table. Not having the chips in front of me made me feel a bit better about things since I didn’t have to stare at them or try to figure out if I should eat some. And I ordered fajitas, so I felt pretty confident that I made a good food choice and started to relax more.

Once we had ordered our food, our conversation became all about medical stuff. I was telling her about my MRI, and she shared all the stuff that she went through recently. She found out that she has the BRCA mutation (the breast cancer gene) and went through some stuff to make sure she stayed healthy. She had a double mastectomy and then reconstruction. I hadn’t seen her since her surgeries, and it was great to see her (also she looked amazing!). I’m not sharing her name because I don’t want to share her story for her, but she knows who she is and I’m so grateful that she is my friend.

She has been so open about everything that she has done so far and has always been more than happy to support me and share advice and tips. When I knew I’d be getting my MRI, she was one of the first people I contacted for advice and to find out anything I should be prepared for. She told me it wasn’t that big of a deal and let me know that I’d be fine. When she’s done additional genetic testing, she let me know so I could see if my mom did that testing. She’s not afraid to tell the truth about what she’s going through and I really appreciate that honesty.

I’m curious if anyone at the tables near us at dinner could hear our conversation. We were talking about a ton of medical stuff like surgeries, IV issues, scars, and other things that most people wouldn’t usually discuss. I’m totally used to it since growing up I heard lots of medical stuff over dinner when my parents were talking. I love that I have a friend who is able to be as chill about talking medical things over food as I am.

We did discuss other stuff besides cancer and medical stuff like my workouts at Orangetheory, other mutual friends of ours that neither of us have seen in a while, and random comments about the people watching we were doing from our table. It was a really nice dinner and it made me realize that I should do dinners with friends more often when I can.

While we had a pretty quick dinner, it was the perfect thing for me that night. I needed to have some positivity in my week, and my friend did just that for me. I have been very set in my ways with my food, and I needed the push to go outside what I’ve been feeling have been safe foods (even though I splurged a bit at dinner, my weight wasn’t affected the way I was scared it would be). And I got some great advice about the cancer screenings I’ve been doing lately and how normal they really are so I shouldn’t be too worried about them.

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Posted in Food, Fun Stuff, Health

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Still Figuring Out Meal Planning (or Will Food Ever Be Easy For Me?)

Posted on October 7, 2016 | 4 comments

I’ve been doing pretty well lately with food stuff. It’s not something that I don’t have to think about any more, but I’m definitely spending less time every day thinking about what I want to eat or what I should eat than I used to. It’s nice not to have my thoughts always consumed by food (no pun intended), but I’m still figuring out what is right and best for me.

I know that I can cook and that I can use pretty much all fresh ingredients, but that’s not always easy for me. There are plenty of times that I realize it is dinner time and I don’t have something that I can make easily. I don’t want to risk going to the store because then I will grab everything that looks good to me at the time. So it’s important to me to have prepared meals in my house that are easy for lunches and dinners.

I’m still really loving the salads I can get from Trader Joe’s and I eat those pretty regularly for lunch (it’s easy to talk to customers and eat a salad). But I do need variety from time to time and some of my old standbys (like peanut butter and jelly) just aren’t doing it for me anymore. So I have to find other easy things to make and a lot of those things end up being frozen meals.

When I was younger, I did eat the frozen diet meals on a semi-regular basis. But honestly those meals aren’t that tasty, they have a lot of chemicals to cover up for things that are missing, they are expensive, and they aren’t a lot of food. So I’ve been exploring more frozen food options including ones that I used to consider not healthy options in the past.

I’ve been working on tracking my foods carefully and I can find ways to make the higher calorie meals work into my day. And I’m discovering that it isn’t as hard as I thought in the past. I’m not eating that high of calorie counts for my breakfasts and lunches, and if I’m not having a binge episode I do have lots of calories left for my dinner. So making stuff that I used to consider off-limits are now perfectly fine for me.

Taking away the stigma of bad foods and good foods has been really good for me. I’m exploring more food options that I never thought I could enjoy (like frozen tempura shrimp) and I’m really liking it. I’m getting more variety in my meals and that is helping to keep things from getting too boring too quickly. There are still some things that I’m trying that I know can’t be a regular part of my diet, but it’s ok to find things that are good splurge meals from time to time.

I’m eating more frozen foods than I would like, but considering the alternative for me I think this is ok. I still want to find a good balance between prepared and frozen foods and cooking from scratch and that just isn’t coming easily to me. I still get annoyed that my food issues aren’t going away as quickly as I would have liked them to, but I’m seeing progress and trying to give myself credit for it.

The baby steps of progress aren’t always easy to notice on my own, but when I reflect back on my meals for the past month or so and realize that my days under my calorie goal are outweighing the days over the calorie goal, I realize that I’ve been making progress without thinking about it or noticing. I’m still not ordering delivery food and that’s something I’m proud about as well.

Hopefully more baby steps happen to me this way and that recovery is in my future soon. It will be nice to spend even less time focusing on food when that happens and I’m excited to see what the next baby step I make will be.

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Posted in Food, Fun Stuff, Health, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

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Another Mentee Meeting (or Beach Brunch)

Posted on September 21, 2016 | Comments Off on Another Mentee Meeting (or Beach Brunch)

I had another meeting with my Women In Film mentoring group this past weekend. Even though we haven’t met with our mentors in a while, all of us mentees have been happy to continue meeting every other month to keep each other accountable and to catch up. I’m so happy that most of us are still able to get together and these women have truly become my friends. I know if I need any advice that I could ask any of them. Which makes these meetings a really great and educational time.

We are continuing to meet for brunch, and this time we tried a new place for us. It’s called Beach Nation and there is actually a sand pit in the middle of the seating area that you can sit in! We got a table so we didn’t get sandy, but it was still fun to see. They aren’t necessarily known for their brunch selections, but they had a good variety on the menu and I think all of us were pretty happy with the options.

beach-nation

Since we got there soon after they opened, we were able to get our orders in quickly so we could start the more official part of the meeting. The format we have stuck with for the meetings is going around the table and each of us updates the others on what has been happening since their last update. Everyone else can chime in with support and advice, but it’s really the time for the person giving the update to talk.

This time, I didn’t have as much to update everyone about. They already knew about “Single Parent Date Night”, but I did share that I saw an edit of the film and we are getting close to being done with the post-production on the movie. I really hate watching myself on screen, but I’ve watched each edit that we’ve had. And while I’m super harsh about my performance (I think I can do better but I know I did a good job), I think the movie is super cute and I think when we are ready to screen it that people will like it.

I also updated everyone on the day job juggling. It’s not easy to have multiple jobs, but I’m getting a balance going with it and things have continued to take a turn for the better with that situation. I think that things also seem a lot better because I’m been working really hard on budgeting and I think I’m getting my spending down and that is making it feel like I’m making more money. I still have debt to pay off and I know I’ll have some big purchases coming up soon (I need new tires on my car and I will be getting a new computer when a new model is released), but I don’t think either thing will be a huge financial hardship for me now.

Everyone else had some pretty awesome updates as well. Some people have new day jobs, some are in new classes, and some are working on some major productions right now. Even though we are all at different stages in our careers, it’s been nice to see how we have all progressed since we had our first meeting. I think all of us have taken huge strides forward and I love that we are all super motivated and dedicated to continuing our careers in the entertainment industry. I’ve had a lot of friends either give up or decide they don’t want to try anymore so it’s cool that all of us have been sticking with it.

After we all got to do our updates, our food arrived. I ordered the breakfast burrito and it was really good!

brunch

While we were eating our meeting turned a bit more into social time (as it usually does) and we were talking about fun events coming up that the others may be interested in. I signed up for a couple of new email lists based on recommendations that I heard at our meeting so I could potentially go to some more screenings than the ones I go to now.

We will have our next meeting in about 2 months, and I really hope by then that I can have some more substantial updates to share with everyone. I’m not feeling stuck in my career like I was last year, but when you have some progress you just want to continue doing that and that’s exactly how I’m feeling now.

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More Eating Disorder Research (or Reading About HDE)

Posted on September 13, 2016 | 3 comments

I’ve been keeping up with my monthly challenge to read a book about recovery every day. I’m pretty much doing the 10 pages a day (sometimes a few extra pages in a day) so that I’m not overwhelmed or feeling like I need to do a ton of reading each day. I think this was a really great challenge to set for myself and I’m happy that I’m not finding it too difficult to continue doing it each day. I think that it can only be a positive thing for me and I’m excited to see what I’ll learn with each book I read.

At the rate that I’m reading, each book takes a little more than a month to finish. So I’m getting close to finishing my second recovery book now and I’ve been learning quite a bit. The book I’m reading now is called “How To Have Your Cake And Your Skinny Jeans Too”.

hde

I’ll admit that I didn’t love the title when I saw it the first time (I’m not a fan of gimmicky books), but there was something about it that caught my attention and it was on sale as a Kindle book so I got it. Since each book is taking me so long to read, I have to buy them instead of getting them from the library (I only get 3 weeks with library books), but I’ve got quite a few that I’ve already bought and I’m sure that buying 1 book a month or so won’t be too expensive.

When I started to read the book, I wasn’t quite sure where it was going with how it was going to discuss achieving recovery. But after a few days of reading and getting into it I discovered that it is all about hunger directed eating (or HDE). The idea of HDE is that you will eat what you want because if you don’t it may turn into a binge later. If you deprive yourself of something for too long you will go crazy when you have a chance to eat it.

The idea of depriving myself and then going crazy with the food is not a foreign concept to me. I’ve had that happen and it’s not fun at all. But the idea of eating everything that I crave and want is terrifying because I know that when I do that in the short-term it ends badly for me. But the idea of HDE is that while the short-term may be a lot of “bad” foods, eventually you will get sick of just eating those and your body will start to crave the foods that you should eat and your diet will have more variety in it.

Following HDE does seem like it could be something for me, but like I said the idea scares me so much. All of my fears are things that are written about in the book, so that does make me feel a bit better. Nothing I’m afraid of isn’t discussed in one of the chapters with a solution or explanation of how it will work out. So since it seems like I have totally normal fears of HDE I’ve been testing it out a little bit.

I’m not going 100% with HDE yet because I don’t want to have the days of endless eating of foods that I crave. Those will cause my workouts (and probably my work at my day jobs) to suffer and I can’t afford that right now. But I’m trying to follow my cravings more than I normally do and see where it takes me. Along with those cravings, I try to meal plan around it so that I can get my 3 meals in for the day but staying as close to my calorie goals as possible.

It’s not going too badly. Once I started to plan around the cravings I have, I’m starting to see how they can fit into my every day life. The issue I’m still having is the volume of the foods I’m craving that I eat. This is something discussed in the book and it is similar to the mindful eating that I’ve been working on. I need to start paying attention to how I feel while eating things (and not going into a trance) and see when my body is saying that it is ready to be done with the food I’m craving.

This is something that is going to take time and I don’t know if HDE is going to work for me in the long run. What I do know is what I’ve been doing hasn’t been working and I need to start trying other things (even if they scare me or seem like it could never work) to see what will work and what will be right for me. I’m just glad that I’m at a point in my recovery that I can try things out like this and not feel hopefully when I have a set back and just view it as a learning experience.

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Posted in Food, Health, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

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A Very Full Disney Day (or Finally Able To Get Back To The Parks)

Posted on August 31, 2016 | 2 comments

I haven’t been to Disneyland in a while. Mainly, it’s because the type of annual pass I have doesn’t allow me to go during the summer (which is fine with me). The last time I was there was on Father’s Day so I could ride the new Soarin’ ride, so I was antsy to get back and have a real Disney day.

My pass type was finally able to go back this week so my friend June and I had made plans to get back to the park on Monday. We were discussing that at my birthday party, and my friend Dani wanted to come with us too! Dani is a big Disney person too and she’s never been to the parks with us. Plus, she was going to be getting her first annual pass so she’s getting ready to have a full year of Disney adventures too!

Our day didn’t start super early. I had a workout in the morning and none of us cared to be there as soon as the park opened because we knew we were going to be staying there late. Once we arrived, we got through security and Dani got her pass (she paid in advance and just had to pick up the card at the ticket booth) and we were off to California Adventure.

Our first stop there was Soarin’. Even though I got to ride it twice back when it opened, neither June nor Dani had been on the new version. I was super excited to see what they thought about it and I was ready to see what new things I noticed and saw while watching it for the third time. I think the ride actually got a bit better because the scents that are used are more distinctive and I wasn’t as overwhelmed by the newness of it all. And June and Dani agreed that it was a good new movie and totally worth going on again another time.

We were going to do some more rides at California Adventure, but the Tower of Terror was down that day and we didn’t feel like waiting in the long line for Radiator Springs Racers because we had lunch reservations. So we headed across to Disneyland where we spent the rest of the day.

Our first stop in Disneyland was to ride Indiana Jones. This is always a fun ride for me and this time was no different. I know that other people have mentioned to me that some of the effects have been down in the ride, but I thought pretty much everything seemed to be working. We did have 2 times where the ride stopped (once in the dark and I was feeling a bit panicky when that happened), but other than that it was a pretty good ride.

The next stop was our lunch reservations. Since we heard that the Paint The Night parade and the current fireworks show were going away soon, we wanted to make sure we could see them one more time (and for Dani, for the first time). We decided to splurge and go to the Blue Bayou for the Paint The Night deal where you got a 3 course meal and reserved seating for the parade and fireworks!

Blue Bayou

As soon as we were seated, we experienced what we considered one of the most awesome and magical things we’ve seen at a restaurant lately.

Blue Bayou Menu

The menus had LED lights in them so you could read them! It is pretty dark inside of the restaurant and I was totally ready to use the flashlight on my phone to try to read it. But when we opened the menu and saw that it lit up, we all were so excited and amazed! We may have loved them so much that we had our server take a photo of us with the menus lit up.

Menu Lit

We did have a small problem when we got our menus. They didn’t say they were for the Paint The Night deal and when we brought that up to our server she said that the Paint The Night thing was only for dinner. I was really confused because when I made the reservation I was very specific in what we were trying to do and I guess something got mixed up when the reservation was put into the computer. Fortunately, our server was able to get us the special menu for lunch (just a few items weren’t available) and we were ready to enjoy a very special lunch.

Paint The Night Menu

We each had our 3 courses (I had shrimp for an appetizer, steak for my entrée, and creme brûlée for dessert) and it was really delicious! This wasn’t a cheap meal, but we enjoyed it and I think it was totally worth the cost. Plus, non-alcoholic drinks were included so I decided to get a lemonade with my meal too (I usually only drink water). We relaxed while we ate, and it was a nice grown-up meal!

After a huge meal like that, we decided to go on the Pirates ride since it wouldn’t be too much movement after eating. And it was fun to see where we were just eating lunch from the ride side. We ended up sitting in the front of the boat, which I don’t think I’ve ever done before. It was nice with the extra leg room and having an unobstructed view of the ride, but we did get splashed on a lot during the 2 drops.

After Pirates (and our food had settled a bit) we were ready for some more exciting rides. We went over to Tomorrowland and went on Hyperspace Mountain. It’s still one of my favorite rides in the park and I always have so much fun riding it! I love the Star Wars overlay and I’m really hoping that they keep it because I think it adds so much to the ride! And of course, we had to try for a silly ride pose. Since there were 3 of us, we went for “hear no evil, say no evil, see no evil” and I think we really succeeded at it.

Hyperspace Mountain

What ended up being our last ride of the night was Star Tours. Again, none of us were chosen to be the Rebel Spy, but it’s still fun and Dani hadn’t been on it since they changed the ride to be in 3-D. We had originally also planned to go on Big Thunder Railroad after Star Tours, but the ride was down when we got over there and we didn’t want to wait to see how long it would be until it opened again.

Since we had some time before we needed to line up for our reserved seating for Paint The Night, we decided to get some character photos with the Star Wars characters that were out. Our first character stop was Kylo Ren, and I think this may be the greatest character photo I’ve ever been in. When it was taken, none of us knew the photo was being taken. Dani was being silly with Kylo Ren, June was pretty much laughing at Dani, and I was posing for a photo that I thought would be happening soon. I think I look like a total goober in it, but I seriously love this photo so much!

Kylo Ren

As soon as we saw the photo after it was taken, we all laughed so hard. It’s so perfect and completely not posed that we are all doing something totally different.

The other character out was Chewbacca, and we tried to go for a classic Charlie’s Angels thing, but Chewbacca decided he wanted to show off his muscles instead.

Chewy

Finally, it was time to head over to Main Street for our reserved seating for the parade. There was a line when we got there of people who also had reserved seating, but when we were finally let into the section we were able to sit on the sidewalk right behind the people sitting on the curb. We had a pretty great view and I was just so happy that we could sit down to watch the parade. Plus, we had a gorgeous view of the train station while we were waiting.

Train Station

The parade was really fun to watch and I enjoyed it just as much as the other times I had seen it. While I’m sad to see it go because it’s a good parade, I’m glad we are getting the Main Street Electrical Parade back soon! Since this was the last time I’d get to see this parade, I tried to get some great pictures, but I also just focused on enjoying it and having fun.

Paint The Night Belle

As soon as the parade ended, we made a mad dash back toward Main Street to get a great viewpoint to see the fireworks. I loved it when I got to see the fireworks from the castle last year, but I had never seen them from farther back before.

Main Street Viewing

While we couldn’t see the projections on the castle that well from how far back we were, we were able to see all the projections that were on the buildings on Main Street. That was pretty amazing and it was a beautiful show.

Main Street

And as always, the fireworks were great too.

Fireworks

I tried to get some great fireworks pictures, but I think that Dani wins with the one she took that had the Mickey fireworks in it!

Mickey Fireworks

After the fireworks ended, even though we had been at Disneyland for 10 hours already, we weren’t ready to go home. We walked over to the Disneyland Hotel to try to get some food at Trader Sams, but it was just super packed and there were no tables for us to sit at. So we walked back to Downtown Disney and we got some sandwiches at Earl Of Sandwich (even with the big lunch we had, we were all hungry at 10pm).

After our late dinner, we walked back to the car (the tram to the parking lot had already stopped for the night) and headed back home.

It was a full Disney day, even though it wasn’t the most ride-filled day. I had such a great time with June and Dani and I know that we are going to continue to have some amazing Disney days coming up as we don’t have to worry about summer blackout dates anymore!

Castle

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Having Bad Days (or Did I Make Myself Sick)

Posted on August 25, 2016 | 1 comment

This week, I was supposed to attend the book launch for “Tacocity”. I was so excited to go and I really do love Rob’s book! I haven’t seen Rob in person for a while so this book launch was going to be my opportunity to see him in person and catch up somewhere else than online.

But of course, things don’t always go as planned and the night of the party I got sick. I’ve been pretty lucky with not getting sick too often. I was much worse off before my tonsils came out about 8 years ago (I was getting strep throat 2-3 times a year) and I’m grateful that my health is doing much better now. But when I get sick, it seems to take me down quickly and harshly.

I ended up skipping the party and I know that Rob totally understood. Nobody wants me to be there when I’m sniffling like crazy and look like I should be in an insolation room. But it still made me a bit mad because I was wondering if it was my fault that I got sick.

The few days leading up to the party were some pretty horrible food days for me. It was a bit out of control and I was trying to find a way out of the eating disorder hole that I felt like I fell down. I was trying everything I could, but I couldn’t stop it. I gained back all the weight that I lost last month (although I’m still hoping some of that weight gain is water weight and will go away quickly) and I’m just feeling really horrible about myself.

The sick feeling I get when I’m in an endless cycle of my eating disorder is completely different from the sick feeling I was feeling when I had to skip the party. On the day of the party, I felt like I had a summer cold and just couldn’t shake it. The sick feeling I get with the eating disorder is more about nausea and feeling shaky. But even though those feelings are different, I still wondered if my eating disorder incidents caused me to come down with the cold.

I know that when you are eating better your health is better. When you are getting in the nutrients you need, your body can fight off bugs better. So by eating crap (and I was eating crap), your body doesn’t have what it needs to fight off things. So there is a chance that because of my poor eating I did cause my body to come down with this cold.

And I know that there is a chance that it’s just coincidence that these things happened back to back. I’m not sure if thinking that the eating disorder caused me to be sick would help me in any way in my recovery. The day after missing the party I was feeling really down on myself and having horrible guilt about what I did. I know those feelings aren’t helpful in recovery so I tried to focus on just having a better day than the days I had before. It’s not easy when you feel so awful about yourself, but all I can do is try.

I know that recovery is going to be difficult. Most people don’t have to encounter their issue 3-5 times a day to stay alive and that’s what I’m forced to do in order to live. I have to find a way to create a healthy relationship with food and I’m struggling with it today. Maybe tomorrow will be better, and I hope it will be. But so much of recovery is me learning how to get through the bad days, stop blaming myself, and moving forward.

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The Best Birthday Party! (or Wine Bar and Breakfast Bar)

Posted on August 16, 2016 | 1 comment

This past Saturday was my birthday party and I have to say that it was one of the best birthday parties I’ve ever had in my life! Planning a birthday is stressful for me (worrying about if anyone will show up, if it costs money if people can afford it, hoping that everyone gets along) so while I love having a party I hate having to plan it. But I decided to go for something easy again this year and had a gathering at Bodega Wine Bar where I’ve had my birthday before.

I have to say, the staff at Bodega Wine Bar are amazing! I worked with one of their party coordinators and she was really easy to work with and didn’t require me to do too much. All we had to figure out was how many people would be there so we could figure out what reserved section would be best. I figured that maybe 10 people would be there and I loved the horseshoe section where my party was before so that was set up for me.

I set up a Facebook event for my birthday and about 7 people said they could make it, so I figured it would be a fun and relaxing hangout with my friends. And since it was my birthday, I decided to go with a really fun outfit and wore a tutu I got at Kiyonna a while ago (this picture is from the end of the party so I’m looking a bit wrinkled and my makeup and hair are not as done as they were at the beginning).

Birthday Outfit

A friend drove over to Bodega with me so I wouldn’t be there alone when I arrived. But it turned out some of my friends were already there! And by the time we sat down, even more people had arrived and we were starting to fill up our reserved section.

Usually with birthday parties like this, people arrive throughout the evening and there is a flow of people leaving and arriving throughout the evening. But this time, it seemed like almost everyone was there within the first 30 minutes! We quickly filled all the seats in our section at the bar and started to have to grab more chairs for everyone to sit down!

Most of the people at the party didn’t know the others who were there. But so many of them were people who I wanted to introduce to each other and everyone seemed to be getting alone and having a great time seeing the few people they knew and getting to know the people that they didn’t. Every so often, I just had to sit back and look at how awesome it was to have so many people there to celebrate my birthday and to watch everyone just having an awesome time!

And of course, we had to get a group picture with almost everyone who made it. The picture isn’t the best quality, but you can see that everyone is happy and it was an amazing turnout (I’m all the way in the back).

Bodega

We had some food and drinks but mainly we were all just talking about the most random stuff (like Disneyland or podcasts) and everyone was joining in on the conversation and enjoying being around everyone else.

As we got closer to 10pm, most people were leaving (some had come in from the valley and they didn’t want to be out too late), but there were a few of us who weren’t ready to end the night yet. Then we remembered that Nighthawk Breakfast Bar (which closed down shortly after I went there) just reopened in Venice that week! So we got into our cars and drove over to Venice and hoped that we could get in so we could have some of their amazing food!

Fortunately, there was a table available when we got there and we were quickly seated and checking out the menu to see what we wanted to get.

Nighthawk

My friend Elisa wasn’t able to get to Bodega but was able to join us at Nighthawk. And then I realized that the 4 of us (me, Elisa, Michelle, and Dani) who got the season tickets for Pantages for next season were all together for the first time ever! And not only that, Saturday marked exactly 1 year until we are going to be seeing “Hamilton” during opening weekend in our season! That is something to celebrate and we tried to get a photo to acknowledge that.

Hamilton

None of us really wanted to have drinks since we drank at Bodega, but we had to get some food for sure! Michelle and I have both been craving the Benedict Fries since we went to Nighthawk the first time. So of course we got those to share with everyone. And the last time we went we were tempted by the Tower of Bacon, but didn’t have room in our stomachs so we got that this time as well. The fries were better than they were before and the bacon was super delicious, but we wouldn’t have called the bacon a “tower”.

Tower of Bacon

We all enjoyed the food so much and it was the perfect way to end the evening! Even though Nighthawk was not the original plan, it worked out so well and I’m so glad we decided to make a stop there after Bodega! It really made my birthday so amazing and I had the best time!

I’m so grateful for my friends who were able to make it out to celebrate with me and for the ones who couldn’t make it but were celebrating virtually through texts and Facebook messages. I really had the best birthday ever and I’m hoping that this means that this year is going to be the best year ever as well!

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Almost Free Birthday Dinner (or Spending My Birthday With My Birthday Twin)

Posted on August 12, 2016 | 3 comments

My actual birthday was a pretty low-key day for me. I had to work both of my main day jobs (10 hours total) that day and since it was a weeknight I really didn’t have much planned to do that day. I debated about going to workout that afternoon, but I ended up deciding against it. But I still wanted to do something fun on my birthday and it ended up being the day I went to my free dinner with my birthday twin!

We ended up making this plan about a week ago when I got the email about the free birthday meal. I texted Joanna to ask her when she wanted to go for our dinner, and she asked me when I was free. I knew I was free on the evening of the 9th, so I asked her if there was any chance that she was free too. And by some awesome fate, she had also been looking for something to do that night of her birthday! So we decided that it was meant to be that we had our birthday meal on our birthday!

The birthday deal at Truxton’s has changed in the 7 or so years we’ve had this tradition. It used to be a free entrée and free dessert per person. It was easy to plan what to eat then. Now, it’s $20 toward the meal so we have to plan accordingly so that we make sure we don’t go over the $40 we get (we are so set on making sure our meal is totally free).

Free Birthday Dinner

We got to Truxton’s about the same time and headed inside for our awesome birthday meal. As soon as we sat down, we took out the birthday deal emails so we could give them to the waitress. She didn’t seem too upset that she got the table that was there for a free meal (which is what I’m always afraid of) and she totally understood our desire for a free check because it was our tradition.

After we ordered, Joanna and I opened the birthday cards we got for each other. I was thinking that somehow we might each buy the same card, but we got different ones for each other and both cards were perfect!

Birthday Cards

For our food, we did things a bit differently since we weren’t stuck to just doing 2 entrees and 2 desserts. Like last year, we got the monkey bread to start. It was super delicious and we were both so hungry that I totally forgot to get a picture of it before the plate was empty!

And for our food, we were both torn on what to get. We were debating it back and forth (with me checking the total on my phone to make sure we stayed under $40) and we both were thinking about getting one of the sandwiches that was new to us. Since we both were thinking of getting the same thing, we decided to get a big salad and one of the sandwiches and split everything.

Dinner

It ended up being so much food that we couldn’t finish so it was a good plan to split things like this. I have a feeling that this might be a part of the new tradition. And of course we had to get dessert. They always have amazing desserts at Truxton’s so anything we got would have been great. But the giant cookie with ice cream on top sounded super tempting and we decided to go for it.

And even though neither Joanna nor I asked them to put candles on the dessert, they did that for us since they knew it was both of our birthdays. That was a nice touch and we both enjoyed it!

Birthday Dessert

And yes, we pretty much finished that entire cookie between the two of us. It was a big splurge, but totally worth it to me.

When we got our bills, we noticed that there was a slight difference than normal. They had to split the checks because there can only be 1 birthday coupon on each bill, and since things were split up it wasn’t totally free. We were under $40, but because of the split we owed under a buck.

Almost Free

While the tradition of the totally free birthday meal didn’t quite happen, we are still super happy with the deal. We got all that food for under a dollar and we still got to feel awesome leaving a giant tip (we left $30 on what was technically a $37 bill).

We sat around allowing ourselves to rest a bit after eating so much food, and then we decided to walk for a bit before we both had to get into our cars. I checked out my phone to see what time it was (I still had a bit more work to finish up after dinner) and I saw that it was 8:09 on 8/9 which was pretty cool.

8:9

We walked for a bit and then headed back since Joanna had a bit of a drive and I had to get home to get to work. But it was a super awesome birthday hangout and I’m so happy that I got to spend my real birthday with my birthday twin! That doesn’t usually happen so it’s pretty special.

And of course, we had to discuss what our next crazy birthday twin adventure would be. We will have our usual cheesecake outing, but we are also thinking about doing something for our half birthday (which would be in February). So we might be having another amazing birthday twin celebration on our half birthday which would be so much fun!

There’s still more birthday adventures to come. My birthday party is this weekend so I’ll let you all know how it goes next week. And while I don’t have any other birthday adventures planned yet, the month isn’t over so I might think of some more things!

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