I’ve been on a few podcasts to talk about my dating experiences before. I love getting to share stories, especially since I seem to have so many crazy ones! Some of the crazy stories are positive and some aren’t so great, but there is usually some comedy involved in my stories since I try to make the best of a situation as much as I can. I think because things could be so negative with what has happened on dates, I would be overwhelmed if I didn’t see the silly side of what has gone on before. For example, when I was walking from dinner to a movie with a date, he decided to unzip his pants and pee on the street. I was shocked and speechless, but I just decided to walk straight to my car and ignore him. I could talk about how disgusting that was and how horrified I was, but instead, I share about how ridiculous it was that a guy thought that was appropriate behavior.
But despite how I try to turn things into positive situations, there are some situations with dating that really can’t be made into something good or a funny story. I think most people, especially women, have stories that aren’t always easy to share or talk about. I hate that this is the reality for so many people, including myself, but it is. And some people choose to talk about those situations and others don’t. Whatever someone decides to do is the right decision and I would never pressure anyone to share a story that they don’t feel comfortable sharing.
I have shared some of the more negative stories before, both here and on social media. I just don’t like to always focus on them. But sometimes it is important to share so others know that they aren’t alone in what may have happened to them. And I recently had that chance on a podcast where I discussed dating again. I’m not going to share too much about this podcast since it was done anonymously. I wouldn’t have minded putting my name to my story, but it wasn’t done that way and I’m totally ok with that.
I’m lucky that I haven’t had more really bad experiences with dating. Or maybe I’m a bit jaded and don’t always realize some experiences are as bad as they are. Either way, I know that most of the time, dating isn’t too horrible. I might not love being ghosted or having guys tell me one thing and do another, but those are small annoyances compared to some of the bad things that could happen on dates. I do take a lot of measures to be safe, but that doesn’t always protect someone. One of the bad experiences I had was while sitting in a public bar with people around me. The other time was someone who I had met up with multiple times and thought I could start to trust, but I was wrong. I know that in those situations, I didn’t do anything wrong. There is nothing I did to cause things to happen to me. These men chose their own actions and behaviors and they are not a reflection of me and my behaviors. And that’s the main point I wanted to get across when I was interviewed for this podcast.
There are some things that I blame myself for, but I know I’m not really to blame. Maybe I could have tried to leave the situation sooner, but I can’t see the future so I had no way of knowing what was ahead. There are times when I know that trying to leave would make a situation worse, so I have had to be careful about my choices. But I never felt like my choices were to blame for someone else’s behavior. There have been times I have put more blame on myself than others or I start to go over every detail to see what I could have done wrong, but every time I do that it just confirms that I didn’t do anything that would make something my fault.
Hopefully, when people listen to this podcast, they will not feel alone. Too many people have had similar stories, but because not everyone shares about it, people can feel like it might just be something that affects them. But I also hope that people listening will also know that these experiences are not representative of dating as a whole. Most of the time, the guys I go out with are decent people. I might not want another date with them, but that doesn’t mean they are a bad person. Sometimes you just don’t click with someone or you realize you don’t have chemistry or things in common. And that’s totally fine and doesn’t make me think differently of them in any way more than maybe a superficial level.
It’s never easy to share stories that aren’t positive, but I also do feel empowered and a bit more in control when I’m able to share what happened to me because it is my story to tell and I have every right to do so.
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Another Podcast Appearance (or Sharing My Dating Stories Again)
Doing Another Podcast Interview (or I Guess People Enjoyed My Stories)
Continuing To Share My Experiences (or This Is Going To Be Vague)
Reaching A New Audience (or Laughing At My Dating Adventures)
More Ridiculousness In Online Dating (or I Think I’ve Been Ghosted)
Not Blaming Myself (or Still Learning From Online Dating)
