Monthly Archives: January 2022

Another Week Of Weekday Workouts (or A Week Of Painful Workouts)

This past week of workouts was another week where I didn’t do my workout on Saturday but added a Thursday class instead. I did this because of something that was supposed to be a scheduling conflict for Saturday that ended up being canceled. But by the time my Saturday opened up again, I had already completed all my workouts for the week. So even though I didn’t have to get all my workouts in before work, I’m still glad I did them all. But I had an added challenge for most of my workouts this week with some extra pain.

Monday’s workout was a strength day. It was also a bit of prep work for a benchmark row that I knew I wouldn’t be doing, but it was still a lot of incline work for cardio.

For cardio, we had 2 blocks that were similar. We started with a base pace hill climb (or decreasing incline for the second block) before having a base pace without incline. Then we had 3 rounds of all-outs at inclines with walking recoveries between each all-out. The inclines weren’t the highest we do, but because we had a lot of time at incline and not much time without, I think they felt higher than they actually were.

For the rower, we also had 2 blocks that were similar. The first block had rounds of a 200-meter row. Between each row, we had overhead presses with the medicine ball. For the second block, instead of a distance to do on the rower, we had stroke drills with 15 strokes each round. And the medicine ball exercise was bicep curls to overhead presses to tricep extensions. Doing a distance goal and doing a stroke drill on the rower are very different types of rowing, and we were supposed to make sure they each were focused on that particular type of rowing. Even though the rower is still a challenge for me, I think focusing on the different types of rowing is something I’m good at.

On the floor, we also had 2 blocks but we had not as much weight work as we normally do for a strength day. For the first block, we had deadlifts, pop jacks, and bird dogs. For the deadlifts, we had 2 sets of them each round. We had heavy deadlifts for 4 reps and regular deadlifts for 12 reps. I did increase the weight I used for the 4 rep set since I knew we were supposed to challenge ourselves. And the second block had pike sit-ups (which I did as regular sit-ups) and mountain climbers.

For the rest of the week, my workouts had the extra challenge with my foot hurting after my dermatologist appointment. I’ve done this several times since my appointments are always on Tuesdays, but I know the pain was worse this time compared to before. I really struggled every day for the rest of my workouts in each section of the room, but my rowing was the hardest.

Wednesday’s workout was a mix of endurance, strength, and power. And for cardio and rowing we had one long block for each.

For cardio, we had 30-seconds of an all-out at an incline, 30-seconds of walking recovery, an all-out at that incline as long as we can go, another 30-seconds of recovery, and another all-out at the incline as long as we can go. Then after that, we had 1-minute of recovery before doing the entire thing again but with the incline one level lower. I’m glad this was the cardio workout because I needed a lot of breaks on the bike. Even though it was only my heel that was hurting, the way my foot moves while on the bike was putting pressure on my heel a bit and making it very painful. I didn’t get that far into this workout because of the breaks I took, but I was ok with that.

For the rower, we started with 3 rounds of a 10 stroke drill with 5 strokes of recovery rowing in-between. After 3 rounds, we had overhead presses with a medicine ball. Then we repeated the same 3 rounds of rowing with a front press with a medicine ball. Because of my foot, I’m glad we had stroke drills and not a distance to get done because it would have taken me so long to get any sort of distance on the rower. The medicine ball exercises were supposed to be single-leg ones, and I didn’t do that since I knew I couldn’t stand on just my left leg.

And on the floor, we had 2 blocks. Each block had 1 cluster set and then 1 regular exercise. A cluster set is similar to what we did with cardio. We had 3 rounds of the exercise. For the first round we had 5 reps and then for the next 2 rounds we did as many reps as we could do. The first floor block had a cluster set of seated low rows and also scaptions. And the second floor block had a cluster set of chest presses and also hip hinge reverse flys. Fortunately, these exercises weren’t too horrible with my foot being in pain.

Thursday was an endurance day, and while I was still in a lot of pain it was a little better than how I felt on Wednesday. I think Thursday felt more like how Wednesdays feel when I’ve had the freezing treatment done in the past. So while I could put my heel down a bit more, it was still difficult for me to do that and I had to make accommodations to not be in too much pain.

For cardio, we started with a 3-minute push pace and then a 1-minute base pace. We then decreased the push pace by 30-seconds each time and ended with a 1-minute all-out. Just like with Wednesday, I had to take a lot of breaks on the bike because of my heel. It wasn’t as frequent as Wednesday, but still a lot. And while I did want to keep them to when we had a base pace, that wasn’t possible with the longer push paces. But I tried my best and I was ok with that.

On the rower, we also had 1 long block. We started with an 800-meter row and then we had squats to bicep curls and tricep extensions with a medicine ball. Then the row decreased by 200-meters and we repeated the same medicine ball exercises. I was just starting on the 400-meter row when the block was done, which really showed me how slow I was on the rower.

And on the floor, another long block but it was split into 2 mini-blocks. The first mini-block had single-arm high rows, Y raises on the straps, and bicep curls on the straps. We had 2 rounds of that and then moved to the next mini-block with shoulder presses, chest flys, and good mornings to tricep kickbacks. A lot of these exercises needed me to stay balanced on both feet, which was tough. I tried to see if I could put more pressure on my toes than my heel, but I was losing my balance. So I just had to go slowly and take my time.

Friday was another strength day. I was still hurting, but I was glad that each day I was slowly feeling better. I knew this past week of workouts would be tough with the pain I’d be in, but I really wasn’t prepared for how bad it would be.

For cardio, we had 2 blocks. Each block had a push pace, base pace, base pace at incline, regular base pace, and an all-out. With only one incline section for each block, I put my focus more on just trying to keep pedaling as long as I could. I was able to decrease how many breaks I needed in the cardio blocks, but I knew I wouldn’t be back to normal just yet.

On the rower, we had 2 blocks. The first block had rounds of 300-meter rows with medicine ball overhead presses between each round. And the second block had stroke drills for 15 strokes with the overhead presses between each round. For the medicine ball work, it increased by 2 reps each round. Just like most days this past week, I struggled with rowing since I couldn’t press down with my heel. That’s especially tough for stroke drills when you are supposed to explode back on the rower each time. But I did better than I expected even if I wasn’t doing great.

The floor had 2 blocks. In the first block, we had goblet squats, lateral lunges, and crunches on the Bosu. And in the second block we had push-ups, deadlifts, and hip dips. The hip dips were supposed to be on the Bosu, but I knew I couldn’t do that. But for the other exercises, I was able to keep the modifications to a minimum which was an improvement!

I’m hoping that this week I will be in less pain, but I think my heel is going to be hurting through at least the beginning of the week. It’s not fun to hurt this much, but I also know that this is a treatment that could be more painful if I put it off so I just have to be ok with it. But just like always, even in pain I fully expect to get my 4 workouts in this week again!

Another Podcast Appearance (or Sharing My Dating Stories Again)

A while ago, I mentioned how I did an interview for the Secret Life podcast. I actually did 2 different interviews. I did one where I talked about my eating disorder and that episode came out at the end of 2020. That episode was a bit more serious and I think the idea of it was a pretty stereotypical idea of someone keeping something a secret. But the second interview I did was something that a lot of people who know me might not realize. And that episode came out this week.

I did an episode about how much I hate online dating. I don’t know if everyone who knows me how much I hate online dating because I use apps and that’s pretty much where I meet anyone I go out with. But it’s the truth.

I got onto dating apps with the idea of wanting to be off of them. I don’t enjoy the game of dating. There is a meme about how single people want to find someone and get married but they don’t want to date. And I feel like that is accurate. The process of dating, especially online dating, is really tough and can be annoying. I’ve wasted so much time talking to guys on different apps to have it lead nowhere. Or if I do go out and meet them, I’ve found out a lot of them are not who they say they are. Sometimes it’s a lie such as them exaggerating their height or claiming they don’t smoke when they do (or they don’t consider vaping the same as smoking). Other times it’s them lying about being single or they use photos that are very old or are of someone else so you are not meeting who you are expecting to meet.

If the first guy I met from a dating app ended up being the perfect guy for me, I would have been happy deleting all the apps after that. I never wanted to use dating apps for an extended time. And I never imagined I would be on them as long as I have (although I don’t know if the past 2 years really count since I didn’t date much). But as much as I hate online dating, I also don’t know how else I will meet someone. So it’s a necessary evil for me.

Even though I hate online dating, I try to stay hopeful and not give up. I try not to assume the worst of someone when I start talking to them or when I’m going to meet them. It’s not always easy because I have been let down so many times, but I think the hope that I still have is what keeps me going on the different dating apps.

This podcast episode is definitely sillier than my first one. I shared a lot of stories from dating and dating apps that I know are funny. They might not have been funny when they happened to me, but I can look back at them and see the comedy in those moments now. And sometimes I think that the bad dates and stories are worth it if I can entertain other people with them. I still wish I didn’t have all these stories, but I’m trying to see the positive side of things.

I hope that you all will check out this episode and the rest of the Secret Life podcast. I haven’t been on many podcasts as a guest, but I had the best time with Brianne when we did the interview. She really is a great host and I think you can tell that from listening to any of the episodes. But I can also say that being someone she is interviewing is really an easy and relaxing experience. It felt like just chatting with a friend and I didn’t have many nerves while recording it because she put me at ease. And I have been listening to all the episodes of her podcast and they are all amazing! I feel honored that I got to be a part of this podcast twice!

One day, I hope I won’t have to hate online dating anymore because I won’t need the apps anymore. But until then, I just have to tolerate dating, get some good stories out of it, and try to enjoy things until I find the one who gets me to delete all my dating apps.

Another Doctor Appointment Afternoon (or Not Seeing The Results Yet)

I’ve been going to my dermatologist regularly for a while now. Originally, it was for my autoimmune condition and seeing how to get things into remission. And while I was there I did bring up a few other concerns and questions I had. Most were able to be resolved quickly, but a few others have become things that are recurring issues that I work on each time I see my doctor. And when I saw my dermatologist earlier this week, working on the ongoing issues is exactly what I was there for.

We first went over my autoimmune condition. Things are still better than they were before we started working on it, but they aren’t as good as when I was on the other medication that I had to stop. But any improvement is a good thing for me and I am happy seeing that things aren’t as bad as they were when I was at the worst. I still hope that things will keep getting better, and that’s exactly what my doctor and I are working on.

This part of my appointment was easy. The only change we are making is increasing the medication that I’m currently taking to try to put me into remission. I was taking it twice a day before, and now I’m going to be taking it three times a day. This medication is easier on my body, so I’m not too worried about adding another dose. I do have to eat when I take it, so this will also force me to remember to eat lunch. So I guess that’s a good thing too.

And the other ongoing issue I’ve been working on with my dermatologist is a very stubborn wart I have on the bottom of my foot. This time, we know for sure that’s what it is (unlike the one I had on my face that turned out to be a benign tumor). And it can be tough to treat and have it disappear. But one of the reasons I see my dermatologist as often as I do is to get treatments closer together and not waiting months between each one. And right now, the only treatment we have been doing has been to freeze it.

Freezing a wart isn’t fun, but I seem to tolerate it better than a lot of people. I don’t get that because I seem to have a lower pain tolerance than others, but maybe I’m just used to this. Normally, I don’t feel pain while the freezing is happening, but my foot is very sore for several days after. But going into this appointment, I had mentioned how my foot was actually sore a lot longer after the last treatment. And then when my doctor started to freeze it, it was some of the worst pain I’ve felt. I was shocked at how bad it was hurting me. My doctor did take a few breaks so I could let some of the pain subside before continuing. But he had to do the maximum time to hopefully make this treatment work as well as it could.

These warts can take lots of treatments to fully go away. He thinks I might be about halfway done with the treatments it will take for me. But at the same time, he has some other concerns about my foot that he thinks might be preventing the freezing from working as well as it could. So he recommended a few products I could get over the counter that might help my foot in general and maybe make the treatments more effective in the future. But he also wants me to see a podiatrist to make sure there isn’t another issue with my foot causing me this much pain now and making the treatment process take so long.

This might be nothing or there might be something I need to do so that this wart will finally be gone. I’d rather get checked out by a specialist and find out it’s nothing than waste time when there’s no way the current plan will work. So my dermatologist put in a referral for me so I can schedule that appointment. And my next appointment with my dermatologist is a bit further away than normal to give me time to get in to see the podiatrist and work on a plan with them.

It is frustrating that this process has taken as long as it has, but I also know that if I wasn’t in the middle of it I would just be doing this all later. So I just have to keep seeing my doctor and going through this and hopefully it will be in my past soon.

Still Preparing To Move (or Getting Rid Of Some Things And Buying Others)

The exact timeline for when I will be moving to the condo is still a bit unknown right now. The renovations haven’t been able to start yet, but we are hoping they will start this week (we are waiting on one thing from the HOA before we can start). And once things start, they might move quickly because we have already planned out things. We have picked out the materials and ordered them. And most things are already in stock and waiting for us or will be arriving soon. So once the work actually starts, hopefully, it won’t take that long.

Ever since I knew for sure I would be moving, I have been working on cleaning my current place and seeing what I can get rid of. It’s been coming along slowly, but I don’t have to rush since I still have some time. But I have worked on going through my closet and seeing what clothes and shoes I won’t be moving with me to a new place. I’ve also started to go through my desk and filing cabinets and trying to see if I can scan in papers that I’ve been holding onto. And lately, I also have been going through my kitchen because even with the limited space I have in there, I have been holding onto things that I know I don’t need to keep.

It’s still tough for me to let go of a lot of things because I don’t want to get rid of something I might want. But most of the things I have trashed or donated have been things that I know for sure I won’t need. Those were easier choices, and now I’m getting to some of the tougher ones.

But while I have been trying to move to my new place with less stuff, at the same time I have also been looking at new things I want to get. Some of the things I’m looking at are because the new place will be bigger and I will need things that fit that space better. For example, my coffee table is very tiny because I have such a small living room. I always wanted a bigger one, but I didn’t have the space. So now, I can get one that I have been looking at online because I will have the room. But I’m also looking at what things I currently have that I can refresh with a new look.

A lot of the things in my current place are things that were handed down to me. I love this because I have gotten some great stuff without having to find it. And some of these things are older which also means they are made better than things are made now. And maybe because they were handed down to me and free, I feel a bit more open to replacing them. My headboard came from my parents over a decade ago. It was something that was in a condo in Tahoe they bought, and they didn’t want to keep it there. So they offered it to me and I took it. And it’s great and I’ve loved it, but I want to find a different-looking bed for my new place. Fortunately, most of the things I’m looking at replacing tend to not be that expensive. I do have to still be mindful of spending, but I’m glad I’m not looking at huge expensive purchases except for maybe one or two things. And almost everything I’m looking at getting are things I can always wait on. It would be fine for me to move into my new place with the things I have now and replace them later. But it would be easier if I didn’t move something that I was going to get rid of shortly after.

Maybe I’ll feel more of a push to get things going once the renovations start and the moving date seems to be more of a set date than an abstract one in the future. But for now, I’m still slowly getting ready to move and hopefully, this prep work will make the actual move a little easier for me when it happens.

Taking Acceptable Risks (or Feeling Odd About This Stage Of The Pandemic)

Right now, things are so odd in the world. I have said that a lot over the past 2 years. I never thought everything would shut down the way they did at first. I never thought things could last as long as they have. Even though I know success isn’t a straight line, I didn’t think things would go back and forth as often as they have. And I never realized how much things would affect me as they change.

In some ways, we are better off than we were 2 years ago. We have vaccinations that seem to be keeping most people out of the hospital and alive. We have treatment options that look more and more promising. Most of us knew that vaccines weren’t a perfect fix, just like how any vaccines aren’t perfect, but I think many of us thought more people would be vaccinated so there wouldn’t be as many unvaccinated people getting severely sick.

And even with the advancements and advantages we have now, we are also doing worse than the rest of the time we’ve been in a pandemic. The number of people testing positive is higher than they ever have been. Right now, hospitalizations where I am aren’t as bad as they were at the peak, but we know that can be a bit delayed. I know that the number of people testing positive isn’t always the best thing to judge by, but it’s still not a good sign when we went from under 1,000 people a day to 30,000 people a day.

But with things seeming so bad right now, it’s weird because we aren’t shutting down the way we did before. I honestly don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Either way, I haven’t made a lot of changes in my life since the pandemic started. I haven’t been inside a restaurant to eat, I wear my mask everywhere, I rarely do any type of shopping in a store versus online, and I don’t go out and do much. I have done more since being vaccinated such as going to Orangetheory and eating at restaurants outdoors, but I’m still really limiting what I go and do.

And everything that I go out and do has to be an acceptable risk for me. Especially with the variant right now, you never know when you might be exposed to someone who will test positive. But whatever you choose to do, you have to be ok with that risk. And what you are ok with is such a personal choice. I have several friends who have gone to movies in the past few months. They are trying to take precautions like picking times that aren’t as crowded and they usually don’t get snacks so they are keeping their masks on the entire time. But one of my friends was alerted that they were in close contact with someone who tested positive and they know based on the timing that it was from when they went to a movie. Fortunately, they tested negative and are fine, but it’s still one of those personal risks that we have to be ok with.

I recently went to get my hair done. I’ve been pretty good about being able to keep a regular schedule with my hair, even if I haven’t been able to do the same with any other beauty routines. I do want to get back to the other things that make me feel more confident in how I look, but it seems like every time I’m ready to do it there is another reason why I shouldn’t. Maybe I’m about to go see someone who is at a higher risk and getting my eyebrows done isn’t as important as making sure I’m safe around them. More recently I put it off because of this new variant and how close someone would be to my face. Even with both of us wearing a mask, it seems a bit too risky right now for me. When I get my hair done, we are both masked and she doesn’t have to be too close to my face. So in my mind, that feels safer. I have no clue if it really is safer, but again, this is a personal choice with what risks I’m willing to take.

I really can’t wait until I don’t have to keep thinking like this and I can just go and do something because I want to. But that time isn’t here just yet. And until it is, I just have to keep considering each thing that I do and making sure that I’m comfortable with doing it and I accept the risks that may be involved. It’s not an easy or carefree way to live (and I miss how that was my life before), but it’s keeping me safe and healthy. And even though this is a longer time than I think anyone predicted, I have to remember that this is a temporary time and soon we will be past it.

Back To What Feels Like A Normal Schedule (or Sometimes Having A Normal Week Is Exactly What I Need)

This past week of workouts was what felt like a normal workout schedule to me. I was working my normal hours again, I did the workout times and dates I have been doing for a long time, and things felt like a bit of a reset to normal in a time that isn’t really normal because of the pandemic. It was nice to have this type of reset week at the beginning of the new year and I’m glad that this new year had workouts in the studio (unlike the first week of 2021). And overall, it seemed like a normal workout week to me. The only thing a little unusual was that some of my workouts were 2 group classes instead of the 3 group ones I was thinking they would be.

Monday’s workout was a 2 group class and it was a power day. I was still a bit nauseous that morning, but I was doing significantly better than the week before so I was able to do a bit more in class than I thought I would. Because it was a power day and a lot of the intervals were short, we had 4 blocks on each side of the room.

For cardio, blocks 1 and 3 were the same and blocks 2 and 4 were the same. For blocks 1 and 3, we had a 1-minute push, 90-second base, 45-second push, 45-second base, and a 1-minute all-out. And for blocks 2 and 4, we started with a 30-second push and then and 30-second all-out and 30-second recovery intervals. I was trying to not only increase the resistance on the bike but also pedal a bit faster for the all-outs, especially in blocks 2 and 4 since that’s all the work we really had. I know I didn’t do my best, but I was doing more than the week before and I consider that a win.

On the floor, we had 3 regular floor blocks and 1 rowing block. For each of the floor blocks, we had 3 exercises. The first exercise we only did once and then we just went back and forth between the other two exercises for the rest of the block. For the first block we had 1 round of dead bugs and then did skier swings and pop jacks (I did the pop jacks as regular squats). For the second block we had 1 round of side plank crunches and then had single-arm neutral thrusters with rotations and lateral hops. And for the third block we had 1 round of hip bridges and then had single-arm snatches and frogger squats. And for the last block on the rower, we did the same 30-second intervals that cardio had. I was struggling a lot on the rower, as I often do when I’m nauseous, but fortunately we had a lot of recovery time so I never felt too bad.

Wednesday was another day that ended up being a 2 group class. It was an endurance day and I’m so glad I was finally feeling better since this class would have been extremely tough to do when I’m nauseous and in pain.

For cardio, we had 1 long block. We had a 3-minute push pace, 1-minute base pace, 90-second push pace, and 90-second base pace. And we repeated this for a total of 3 rounds before ending with a 2-minute distance challenge at the end. We were encouraged to try to do a bit of an all-out at the end of the distance challenge, but I didn’t have it in me to increase the resistance on the bike at the end. But I did try to pedal a bit faster. But it was a lot of work with no recovery time, so I was exhausted. I did have to take little breaks so I could sip water, but I tried to keep those to when we had base paces.

On the floor, we had 7 little blocks. 4 of those blocks were on the floor and 3 were on the rower. We had 2 exercises for each of the floor blocks. We had shoulder presses and hip hinge low rows, bicep curls and rollouts on the straps, hip hinge tricep kickbacks and upright rows, and plank and squat holds. And every time we were on the rower, we had a 90-second all-out row. I really enjoyed this workout on the floor because it felt a bit more like a power day than an endurance day because we were switching things up so often. So while I was exhausted and I know I worked hard, I wasn’t feeling as sore as I sometimes do in an endurance workout.

Friday was a power day and it was also a 3 group class so I knew I’d have more rowing. I still have a bit of a love/hate relationship with the rower. I know how good it is for me and I know how I can do some really great work. But I also have struggled the most with getting my rowing back after being away from the studios. I know I need to be patient and I have made good improvements this past year, but it’s tough when I still feel like I’m not back to where I was before.

For cardio, we had 1 long block. We started with a 1-minute push pace, 1-minute all-out, and 30-seconds to recover. The push and all-out stayed at 1-minute but for the rest of the rounds we added in a base pace (starting at 30-seconds and increasing by 30-seconds each round) and the recovery increased by 30-seconds each round. The first round might have been the hardest, even though it was the shortest, because we only had the 30-second recovery.

On the rower, we also had 1 long block. We started with a 300-meter row and then we had squats with rotations using the medicine ball. Then we did another 300-meter row and had squats with front raises using the medicine ball. After those 2 rounds, the row decreased by 50 meters and we did 2 more rounds with one medicine ball exercise in-between each row. Getting on and off the rower is always a bit hard for my hips, so I was moving slower than I would have liked. So I didn’t get that far down the row before the rowing block was done.

And on the floor, we had 2 blocks. The first block had single-leg deadlifts (which I did as regular deadlifts), hip hinge swings, lateral lunges, and skater lunges. And the second block had hip bridges, toe reaches, and pop jacks. The floor work after the row block was really hard because my hips were hurting a lot. So I had to do more modifications than I would have liked. Besides switching the deadlifts, I had to do the skater lunges with steps instead of jumps. I also did the upper body/core part of toe reaches but I kept my feet on the ground instead of in the air. And I didn’t do the pop jacks at all and just went back and forth between the two other exercises in the last block.

Saturday’s workout was a 2 group class, but I expected this one to be a 2 group one (I’m not sure if my weekday classes will stay 2 groups or will go back to 3). And this workout was a mix of endurance, strength, and power. We had 3 blocks on each side of the room to represent each type of workout focus.

The first block for cardio was the power block. We started with a 1-minute push pace into a 30-second all-out with a 45-second recovery. Then we just had intervals of a 30-second all-out and 45-second recovery for the rest of that block. The second block was the strength block. We had rounds of 45-second push paces with base paces in-between. But each time we had a push pace, the incline/resistance level went up by 1 and the base pace got 15-seconds longer. And that block ended with an all-out at an incline. And the last block was the endurance block and we had a 3-minute push pace, 1-minute base pace, and 2 1/2-minute distance challenge. It was a great mix of all the types of workouts, and I was able to focus on different goals or ideas for each of the blocks. I really enjoyed this one!

For the floor, each block again represented each type of workout. The power floor block had single-arm low rows and overhead tricep extensions. After 2 rounds, we had one 200-meter row before going back to the exercises. For the strength block, we had single-arm clean to presses, high rows on the straps, and chest presses on the straps. And again, after 2 rounds of those exercises we had a 200-meter row. But this time, the row was supposed to be between 20-24 strokes per minute which is slower than most people naturally do so we had to focus more about pushing with our legs. And for the power block, we had front raises and hip hinge reverse flies. And after each round of the exercises, we had a 200-meter row.

I really did enjoy this past week of workouts. Even with the struggles and challenges I had, it was a great week for me. And I felt like I was back into the groove of things after having a lot of variety during the holidays. I needed this past week and I’m glad it went as well as it did. I’m still playing around with the idea of only doing weekday workouts, and I likely will have that type of week this week. But I also don’t feel pressure to decide one way or another because I can always switch it up based on how I feel or what my week looks like. And I guess I’ll see how this week goes before I make any other decisions about it.

A Chill New Year’s Eve (or Getting To Have A Little Celebration)

Most of the time for New Year’s Eve, I’m at a party with friends. I don’t like to go out to big events, but celebrating with my friends is the perfect way to celebrate with others but also have a low-key evening. There is no pressure to dress up, things are casual, and I always have fun. When the pandemic started, I don’t think any of us thought it would last through the end of the year. But it did, and I spend the end of 2020 home by myself and alone. I didn’t like spending a night that is normally a celebration alone, but that’s what needed to happen so everyone could stay safe and healthy.

By the end of 2021, things were better and worse at the same time. There are vaccines and treatment options to help, but the numbers are very high and people are still getting sick and dying. So being at a big party with friends wouldn’t have been a safe or smart choice. Fortunately, I was invited to a very small gathering with friends for New Year’s Eve and this group was all people who take things seriously. For example, one person invited found out they were in close contact with someone who tested positive the day before. Even though they didn’t test positive, they didn’t come because they didn’t want to risk getting everyone sick. Knowing that we all were taking the pandemic that seriously made me feel better about meeting up with a few people.

It was a very low-key night. We hung out and played some silly card games. And of course just talked and enjoyed being with other people. Most of us are staying pretty isolated or with very limited contact with friends in real life, so it was a nice break from that. There was still a sense of needing to be careful and cautious while we were together, but we did relax a bit more than I normally would around other people. And I needed this after not seeing many friends for so long. While the state of the world and pandemic never left my mind, I didn’t think about it as much as I usually do and that was a nice break for me.

However, I was dealing with a lot of pain and nausea over New Year’s Eve, so I wasn’t sure how long I’d be staying at the gathering. I was hoping I would make it until midnight, but I also knew that if I was feeling horrible that I might have to leave sooner. And I also thought that leaving before midnight would probably be safer when thinking about crazy drivers on the road. So I went to see my friends knowing that I might leave early and that’s exactly what I did. I tried to stay as long as I could, but I really wanted to just lay in bed and try to feel better after a few hours. I left just after 11pm and was home in bed when it was midnight and 2022 officially started.

Somehow, having half of a party night and half of a night at home alone seemed perfect to spend this past New Year’s Eve. We are not back to the old normal, but we are not in the same place we were in 2020. We are somewhere in the middle and that’s what my evening was. It was between what my normal is like and what the last year was like. Maybe by the start of 2023, we will be able to have a party the way we normally do. I want to be hopeful and think that, but I’ve also thought that so many times and have been wrong before. But at least things are slowly progressing toward normal and I didn’t have to spend the entire evening alone again.

Finding My Worth (or My Word Of The Year)

With the beginning of the year, it’s also time for me to plan my word for the year. Like I mentioned before, I see the word of the year as a theme for me and I like to pick positive words that can also challenge me.

Last year, my word for the year was patience. I think that was pretty self-explanatory with why I picked it and I think it was a good word to have last year when patience was something I needed to have and remind myself to be better about. But when I was going through ideas for words for 2022, I was really stumped. I do try to find words I can get on a bracelet from MantraBand, but this year I was also considering getting a ring. And since you can customize things too, I knew I didn’t need to pick something they already had. But I still like using their options as inspiration for me.

After looking on their website a few different times, I finally settled on a word that seems perfect but also a bit scary. This year, my word of the year is worthy.

And yes, I made a new computer background for this year with my word on it so I’m always reminded of it.

Being worthy is something I know I haven’t been good about in the past. I have allowed others to treat me in ways I know I didn’t deserve to be treated. I have made myself smaller and not spoken up. I have let others dictate too much about my life and my self-worth. And when I challenged myself to speak up more for myself, part of that idea is also knowing my own worth and that I am worthy of things I want.

In some aspects of my life, I am still figuring out what I want and what I’m worthy of. Or I question what I have believed for a while because it may have been influenced by what others have told me. But at the same time, there’s nothing wrong with thinking I’m worth something and then changing my mind. Maybe I think too little of myself and maybe I think too much of myself. But growth and self-improvement are all about recognizing where things need to change. But the most important thing is to stop being scared of asking what I want because I am afraid of how others might react. If they react negatively about something I really feel like I’m worthy of, then that can speak more about them than about me. I have put myself last on the list for too long and I want to work on fixing that.

I don’t know what positive changes will come this year as I remember my worth and remember to not settle, but I know that it will allow me to be more honest with those in my life. And maybe asking for what I want will also bring those things into my life more. I don’t need to waste time putting energy into things I don’t want or that are less than I want. I want to focus on moving forward with the life I want to have and the things and people I want to have in that life.

My 2022 Goals (or Setting Myself Up For Hopefully A Productive Year)

I used to not be a huge fan of setting resolutions for the new year. I felt like those were setting me up for failure more often than not. But for some reason, setting goals for the year doesn’t give me the same feeling. I love setting goals for the year and often they allow me to create a plan for the new year. I’m usually pretty good about setting some goals that I know I can complete or that are easy to measure, so I feel like they are more possible than a general idea. Of course, I do set some more abstract ones too, but I’ve noticed those are the ones I usually struggle to accomplish by the end of the year.

So when I was setting my goals for 2022, I wanted to try to focus a lot on concrete goals that I know will help me make this year great. And I think I’ve found some really good ones.

My first goal for 2022 is a workout goal (as it’s been for the last several years). I want to complete at least 200 workouts. I would say 200 Orangetheory workouts, but I’m worried now that things might shut down again and I won’t be able to go back to the studio. Hopefully that doesn’t happen and all my workouts will be OTF classes, but I had to allow some flexibility in there. This goal should be easy for me to do. As long as I don’t have anything crazy happen to me, doing my regular workout schedule will get me to 200 workouts. I did think about trying to increase this goal, but that would mean having some weeks of 5 workouts a week and I’m not sure if I could do that. At least not yet. So this goal is the one that seems easiest to me, but at least I know I should end this year with at least this goal completed!

My next goal is to move into my condo and get everything set up. I don’t know exactly when I will be moving in, but I hope it will be this spring. And I know when I move in there will be a lot of time needed to get things the way I want them. I will need new furniture and I will probably adjust the stuff I currently own multiple times. But I want my condo to feel like a home to me by the end of this year and feel really settled in. I honestly can’t wait until I start living there. Every time I go over there to do little things, it feels more and more like my home. But I know when my things are there and I’m living there it will feel even more like mine. And knowing it is mine and not just a rental is an awesome feeling that I want to feel more!

Something I write about a lot on here is time management or feeling too busy at times. So my next goal is to be more mindful of my time. I don’t know exactly how to organize my time better, but I want to have my work time set up to be more productive and a better difference between my work time and free time. I do think this might change more when I move because my office space won’t be in the same space that I relax in, so I won’t always feel half working and half relaxing. But I also don’t want to waste my free time and feel like I don’t have the time to do what I want to do. I need to find the time to do what I want and I know I waste time in random ways. Setting up a better schedule for myself will help, but just being mindful of where my time goes is really the goal I have for myself so I can be better about planning my life.

The next goal is something that may or may not be possible. It really depends on the state of the world. But I would like to spend more time out of my house. I spend way too much time inside. I do know that this is partially to keep me safe, but I also know I am using that as an excuse too. I could make more plans out of my house that are safe to do. I also need to be ok doing things alone because I have been saying I don’t go out because so many of my friends moved away since the pandemic. I do still have friends here and I need to reach out to more of them to make plans. But there is plenty I can do outside of my house on my own and I need to start doing that. I think in a way, this goal goes with being mindful of time management because I also say I don’t have time to do things. But if I find the time, I need to find things outside of my house to do.

And my last goal is one I’ve done before. I want to work on my budget. This is something I have done from time to time, but lately I haven’t been good about it. And there are a few things that are still a bit odd that make budgeting hard for me to plan for, but that is also a bit of an excuse. I don’t need my budget to be perfect in order to have one. I can get the general idea going and hopefully get more specific from there. I do still have budgeting software I can use, but I’m looking into alternatives in case there is something that fits my life and how I want to budget a bit better.

I think these are some great goals for 2022 and if I’m able to accomplish just some of them I will have an amazing year! I know some of them are harder for me to accomplish than others, but they are all possible. I just have to make it happen. And hopefully in a year when I come back to my goals, I will have at least tried to get them all done.

My First Challenge of 2022 (or Trying To Get Back To Better Habits)

The past few years I’ve been setting monthly challenges, and I’m going to continue doing that this year. I think it’s good to have daily, weekly, monthly, and annual challenges to help me accomplish quite a bit during a year. And I’ll be going over my goals/challenges for 2022 later this week, but I wanted to start with my January challenge since I think this is something a lot of people are doing.

But first, a quick check about my challenge for December. I challenged myself to speak up more for myself. I knew I needed to do this for so many aspects of my life, and I’m proud to say that I feel so much more confident speaking my mind and not fearing things. I do know there can be consequences for speaking up, but the things I’m speaking up about have consequences that I think are ones I’m willing to accept. Like with dating, speaking up means I might not have a date or a second date because I won’t tolerate specific behavior. And while I am trying to be ok with this idea, I at least can speak up more. I might be sad to not have as many dates because of this, but this is about quality over quantity. I don’t need to put up with someone who says something that is offensive or that doesn’t want similar things to what I want.

Obviously I can’t speak up quite as freely in all aspects of my life, but I am finding ways to make sure my voice is heard even when I have to do it less directly. And it’s reassuring to see positive outcomes when I do speak up so I have less fear each time I have to do it.

My December challenge was a bit more of a mental one, and my challenge for January is a bit more about my physical health (and maybe a bit of my mental health). And it’s also a modification on a challenge I did a few years ago. Several years ago, I challenged myself not to order delivery food for a month. And while I would love to say I won’t order delivery food for a month, with my crazier schedule I know that might not be possible. So I had to add a bit more of a challenge one way to reduce the challenge another way.

So for January, I want to try to limit both my delivery food and take out food as much as possible. This means that I don’t want to do pickup or drive thru options either. Sometimes, if I’m out running errands after work and I see a short line at In-n-Out, it’s just easier to get a hamburger than to go home and see what I can make for myself. But I’m slipping into bad habits again and doing this more often than I would like. I am not doing delivery food too often, but I know I need to cut back on that too.

But I am doing things to make this challenge a bit easier on me. I’m making sure I have easy to make meals at home. Frozen dinners aren’t the best, but they are better (and cheaper) than going out to eat or bringing food home. And this is a way to do a little bit of meal planning without putting too much pressure on this idea.

I do want to work on my eating habits and what types of food I eat, but I know I need to do baby steps because I can revert to old habits easily. And if something doesn’t seem too extreme, it’s a little easier for me to maintain. So that’s why I’m going a bit easier on myself and not saying I have to completely eliminate this from my life. I just want to limit it. And I think that is a good way for me to set myself up for success with this first challenge of 2022.