Feeling A Bit More Like Me (or A Little Bit Of Pampering)

For almost a year now, I haven’t done a lot of things that I’m used to doing on a regular basis. Some of these things are more social events, which I miss more than I ever thought I would. But another part of this is not being able to do things that make me feel good about myself. And most of those things are related to beauty routines that used to be a consistent part of my life.

I know that beauty things can seem frivolous, but when they help boost your confidence they can mean a lot. And when I’m feeling down because of being isolated or any weight gain I might have had, it’s hard when I don’t have other things that I know make me feel good. Some of these things I have been doing better skipping than others. For example, even though I didn’t get pedicures on a regular basis, doing that was an easy way to make my day better. But missing those hasn’t been too bad. Getting waxed is another one that I’m doing slightly better with. For my upper legs, because of my autoimmune condition, shaving isn’t a good option. So getting waxed is one of the best options for me (although I’ve since learned that laser hair removal is better and I’m looking into it in the future).

But there are 2 beauty things that really affect my confidence a lot. The first is getting my eyebrows done. This was something I was doing usually every 6-8 weeks. My eyebrows aren’t as bad as they used to be as a teenager (the benefit of regular waxing), but they still look scruffy to me if I don’t take care of them. And I’m not good at doing my eyebrows myself because I know I will overdo it. So having someone else do them for me is what I choose to do. I know that some places have reopened and I could get my eyebrows done, but I’m not ready to take that risk yet.

And the other beauty thing that affects me a lot is my hair. Mainly, my hair color. I have gotten hair color from my friend who does my hair a few times so I can dye my hair at home, which has been nice. I started going gray when I was in my early 20s, and it’s only gotten significantly worse in the past few years. And I know there are so many people who rock having some gray hair, but it’s just not for me. At least not for right now. I don’t like how I look with gray hair and when it’s showing a lot it just makes me feel a bit down about myself. Dyeing my hair myself has been a big help. I also have different products I can use to cover up gray hair, and I use them when I want to cover them up. Even though I typically wear my hair back these days because I’m just at home, I still want my hair to feel like me.

So last week, I got my hair dyed again. My friend who recently has done my hair isn’t at her old salon right now, so she said she could do my hair color at her house (which is something I’m used to from before). And I know that this isn’t necessarily the safest thing to go and do, but we tried to take every precaution we could. The door to her balcony was open to there was airflow going through her place. We were both wearing KN95 masks the entire time. When we were waiting for the hair dye to be done, we stayed across the room from each other so we weren’t always super close. And she has been doing regular COVID tests and has been testing negative. So even though the safest thing would be to not do this, since I made the choice to have my hair done I think we did the best that we could.

And yes, after getting my hair dyed, I felt much better about myself. Having someone professional dye my hair is better than me dyeing it on my own. I didn’t get my hair cut because I am not too worried about how long it’s getting (and it was a way to save a little bit of money). So even though my hair isn’t perfect, it’s much better than what it was like before. And I do feel a bit of guilt about how much better I feel just from something superficial. But I also know that this is something so many people feel, so I don’t feel as bad about it.

Hopefully, soon I can do more of the beauty routines that I’m used to and it will be safe to do so. I would love it if the next time I went to get my hair dyed I wouldn’t have to worry as much as I did this time. Any time I can get a bit of my old life back, I notice how much it improves my mood. So I just want to be able to do that more and more. And I know that eventually, that will be possible.

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