Taking Acceptable Risks (or Feeling Odd About This Stage Of The Pandemic)

Right now, things are so odd in the world. I have said that a lot over the past 2 years. I never thought everything would shut down the way they did at first. I never thought things could last as long as they have. Even though I know success isn’t a straight line, I didn’t think things would go back and forth as often as they have. And I never realized how much things would affect me as they change.

In some ways, we are better off than we were 2 years ago. We have vaccinations that seem to be keeping most people out of the hospital and alive. We have treatment options that look more and more promising. Most of us knew that vaccines weren’t a perfect fix, just like how any vaccines aren’t perfect, but I think many of us thought more people would be vaccinated so there wouldn’t be as many unvaccinated people getting severely sick.

And even with the advancements and advantages we have now, we are also doing worse than the rest of the time we’ve been in a pandemic. The number of people testing positive is higher than they ever have been. Right now, hospitalizations where I am aren’t as bad as they were at the peak, but we know that can be a bit delayed. I know that the number of people testing positive isn’t always the best thing to judge by, but it’s still not a good sign when we went from under 1,000 people a day to 30,000 people a day.

But with things seeming so bad right now, it’s weird because we aren’t shutting down the way we did before. I honestly don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Either way, I haven’t made a lot of changes in my life since the pandemic started. I haven’t been inside a restaurant to eat, I wear my mask everywhere, I rarely do any type of shopping in a store versus online, and I don’t go out and do much. I have done more since being vaccinated such as going to Orangetheory and eating at restaurants outdoors, but I’m still really limiting what I go and do.

And everything that I go out and do has to be an acceptable risk for me. Especially with the variant right now, you never know when you might be exposed to someone who will test positive. But whatever you choose to do, you have to be ok with that risk. And what you are ok with is such a personal choice. I have several friends who have gone to movies in the past few months. They are trying to take precautions like picking times that aren’t as crowded and they usually don’t get snacks so they are keeping their masks on the entire time. But one of my friends was alerted that they were in close contact with someone who tested positive and they know based on the timing that it was from when they went to a movie. Fortunately, they tested negative and are fine, but it’s still one of those personal risks that we have to be ok with.

I recently went to get my hair done. I’ve been pretty good about being able to keep a regular schedule with my hair, even if I haven’t been able to do the same with any other beauty routines. I do want to get back to the other things that make me feel more confident in how I look, but it seems like every time I’m ready to do it there is another reason why I shouldn’t. Maybe I’m about to go see someone who is at a higher risk and getting my eyebrows done isn’t as important as making sure I’m safe around them. More recently I put it off because of this new variant and how close someone would be to my face. Even with both of us wearing a mask, it seems a bit too risky right now for me. When I get my hair done, we are both masked and she doesn’t have to be too close to my face. So in my mind, that feels safer. I have no clue if it really is safer, but again, this is a personal choice with what risks I’m willing to take.

I really can’t wait until I don’t have to keep thinking like this and I can just go and do something because I want to. But that time isn’t here just yet. And until it is, I just have to keep considering each thing that I do and making sure that I’m comfortable with doing it and I accept the risks that may be involved. It’s not an easy or carefree way to live (and I miss how that was my life before), but it’s keeping me safe and healthy. And even though this is a longer time than I think anyone predicted, I have to remember that this is a temporary time and soon we will be past it.

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