Tag Archives: friends

My First Big Social Event In Over 2 Years (or This Was Overwhelming In A Good Way)

Posted on May 24, 2022 | Comments Off on My First Big Social Event In Over 2 Years (or This Was Overwhelming In A Good Way)

As I wrote last week, I’ve been trying to be more social when I can do so. It’s not easy and I’ve become more of a homebody and introvert in the past 2 years, but I am working on finding ways to get my old life back. I know I will never have the same life I used to have because I may always have an extra bit of fear about getting sick. Even if Covid is eradicated, I might still worry about catching a cold or the flu more than I did before. But I also know that I miss being out and seeing friends, so I push myself to do that when I can and it feels safe. And I had that opportunity this past weekend.

It was a friend’s birthday and they were having a casual get-together at a bar that has a seating area and has food and not just drinks. When she invited me, I wasn’t sure if I could make it because of my schedule, but I was free so I decided to push myself a bit and go even though I hadn’t been at a big gathering since the beginning of 2020. Almost all my socializing since then has been one on one or maybe with 2 friends. I haven’t been to a party or somewhere I could meet a lot of new people in a long time. But I knew I needed to go out, plus I wanted to go. I know it was a risk I was taking, but I decided it was worth it and I was going to try to be as safe as I could be.

It did feel weird to be inside a bar since I haven’t really done that in a while. And almost all the meals I’ve had in the past 2 years have been outside, so eating inside was almost a novelty. But I could tell that most of the people around me were taking things seriously too. Not everyone was wearing masks, but a lot of people were. And people seemed to be aware of how close they were to others. But the weirdness of being out went away pretty quickly for me. I still was more cautious than I would have been before, but I wasn’t as scared as I have been of other things I’ve done in the past 2 years.

And I’m so glad I went. It was awesome getting to celebrate my friend and her birthday. I got to meet some really nice people that I wouldn’t have met otherwise. I got to see someone who I knew about a decade ago through a friend group and reconnect with her (and she’s now married and pregnant so that was something to celebrate too!). And I just got to have fun. I know I’m not having as much fun in my life as I used to, and I need that. I crave fun. I just don’t seem to have the opportunities to do things like I used to do and it’s hard to make new friends as an adult and find people to go out and do things with. But this was a way to ease into meeting new people since not everyone there was new.

I did have some moments of being overwhelmed with so many people around me and I could feel some really minor panic attacks come from time to time, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it could be. I think it helped that I spent most of the time that I was there talking to the same small group of people and I didn’t have to track multiple conversations at once. I was with a lot of people but it felt like a smaller gathering at the same time.

I do worry now a bit that I might have been exposed and could get sick, but I also know that could happen to me anywhere. I could get exposed and sick by going to the grocery store (even though I wear a mask, a lot of people don’t anymore). I could get exposed by being at the mailboxes if another neighbor is next to me when I’m getting the mail. I think for so long, I saw some things as necessary risks and other things as risks I needed to avoid and I haven’t been able to merge the idea that they might be the same thing now. Everything is at a similar risk level if they are similar activities (being inside a grocery store versus a restaurant are probably the same risk level now).

I don’t know if I’ll have another chance to be in a big gathering like this again soon, but I’m glad I’m over the hurdle of being scared of doing it now. And hopefully, the fear decreases each time I go out and things just start to feel a bit more normal to me again. I know we aren’t in a post-pandemic world yet, but we are also not in the same world we were in 2 years ago.

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Default ThumbnailStill Not Feeling Like We Are Post-Pandemic (or Continuing To Struggle Being Social) Default ThumbnailCelebrating A Friend’s Birthday (or Not Letting Feeling Gross Stop Me From Being Social) Default ThumbnailBeing Social Feels A Bit Cold (or Another Realization About The Pandemic) Default ThumbnailHaving More Virtual Movie Nights (or Still Trying To Be Social) Default ThumbnailAnother Union Holiday Celebration (or Being Social And Working Social Media) Default ThumbnailA Chill New Year’s Eve (or Getting To Have A Little Celebration)

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Still Not Feeling Like We Are Post-Pandemic (or Continuing To Struggle Being Social)

Posted on May 19, 2022 | Comments Off on Still Not Feeling Like We Are Post-Pandemic (or Continuing To Struggle Being Social)

For over 2 years now, I’ve had a very limited social life. I didn’t have the craziest social life before the pandemic, but I know I was going out and being around other people way more often. Even if it wasn’t for a social event, I feel like I had something related to the union at least once a month. Plus going out with friends and having fun adventures throughout the month. I also think that before the pandemic, I had a slightly better schedule for going out and doing things, but I think that is not that big of a change and just something I need to be more used to.

I know there are a lot of people talking about how we are in a post-pandemic world, but I do disagree with that idea. Things still aren’t great. People are still getting sick and dying. Treatments are available, but they aren’t perfect. And I’m still at a higher risk for getting really sick so I do have to be careful. But things are better than what they were before. Even if people are still getting sick, the death rate is lower. It needs to be even lower than this for me to feel like we are out of the pandemic, but I do agree that we are not in as bad of a situation as we have been before.

And I don’t regret how seriously I took the pandemic. I’m so grateful that I was able to stay safe and healthy. That’s a luxury that not everyone had. And for a long time, it was a struggle to be as isolated as I was. I had some really tough moments where I felt like I was left alone in the world. I’m used to being alone, but I was learning how to actually be lonely. And being lonely is something that I don’t think I ever truly experienced before. But now, I’m finding it a struggle to come out of the isolation that now seems normal to me.

I don’t want to live in serious fear, but I am still cautious. I don’t want to avoid the people that I know taking things as seriously as I do. I know being around others is a risk, but it’s an acceptable risk for me when I know they are not going out and doing things that will put me at even more risk of getting sick. And when I see friends, it still is a bit weird and awkward with figuring out if we need to try to space ourselves out, if people are ok with hugs again, and explaining if you have a cough that you know you don’t have Covid (something I have to explain so often since I have had a persistent cough for a majority of my life).

So as scary as it can feel sometimes to say yes to something a friend invites me to, I know I need to push myself a little bit more now. I still will take into consideration what the event is and how safe I can be. But if someone who takes things seriously is having something that is outside, that is safe and I shouldn’t be scared to go. But I still get that little voice in my head asking if I should go or not. And I do say no to some things if I feel like it’s just too much of a risky situation or an unknown for me. I haven’t been invited to too many things since so many of my friends have moved away in the past 2 years, but that also has given me an opportunity to reconnect with older friends or turn acquaintances into friends.

Maybe because I’ve had to rebuild my social life before, I’m ok with having to rebuild it again this time. But the last time, I didn’t have to worry about health and safety while rebuilding it and that is the roadblock that is still really difficult for me to get past. But I’m hoping that as it gets warmer and there are more outdoor things I can attend, I will slowly have more of my social life back and feel less like I’m still living in the middle of a pandemic.

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Default ThumbnailBeing Social Feels A Bit Cold (or Another Realization About The Pandemic) Default ThumbnailTaking Acceptable Risks (or Feeling Odd About This Stage Of The Pandemic) Default ThumbnailScheduling And Joy (or Continuing To Plan For When Things Are Coming Back) Default ThumbnailHaving More Virtual Movie Nights (or Still Trying To Be Social) Default ThumbnailMore Thoughts On Pandemic Dating (or I Wish I Didn’t Miss Dating As Much) Default Thumbnail2 Years Into The Pandemic (or Still Seeing What Is The New Normal And What Has Returned To Normal)

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Getting More Moving Help From My Friends (or Seeing Things Come Together)

Posted on April 19, 2022 | Comments Off on Getting More Moving Help From My Friends (or Seeing Things Come Together)

I know I’ve seen memes about how you know you are getting old when you are willing to pay for movers to do your entire move and you don’t ask friends for help or do it yourself. For the most part, I do agree with that idea. I’ve always had movers whenever I have moved since moving big and heavy furniture isn’t something I have always wanted to do. But in a way, I have used movers less and less with each move.

This time, since I’m only moving 3 blocks, I’m doing a lot of the moving myself. I’ve been bringing a few boxes over every day and I don’t have to worry too much about packing things properly. For example, with my dishes and glassware, I put things into banker boxes and didn’t put any bubble wrap or protection around them. I didn’t fill each box that much and I used the handcart to move them from the car to my condo. I know this isn’t the way it’s normally done, but it’s worked for me so far. I did a similar thing when I moved from my last apartment to the place I’ve been in for the last 12 years, but I did let the movers move more things that time since it was a close move but not as close as this time.

I’m still leaving a lot of the heavy lifting for the movers, but there have been a few things I needed to do before the movers. The heaviest thing was getting my bed over there. I wrote about doing that before because it was pretty crazy how heavy those boxes were and I was really proud of myself for being able to do that with my workout coach. But that was only the first part of getting the bed to the condo.

Because of the overlap between my last month in my rental and when the condo was supposed to be done, I’ve had a lot of flexibility regarding when I would actually be moving in and sleeping at the condo. But I knew I wanted to have the bed ready the day I had the movers coming in case I wanted to sleep there that night. I knew I wouldn’t want to build it after a big moving day, so I asked my friends to see who might be willing to help me. I don’t like asking for help, but I knew that there were a few steps with the bed that needed an extra set of hands.

Fortunately, my friend (and birthday twin) Joanna was willing to help me out. I knew this was a big ask of a friend, and I was so grateful she could help me. I knew she was going through some renovation stuff with her place too and I wanted to hear how it was going and I knew she wanted to see my place since she hadn’t been over yet. So after work last week, she was able to come over and help me figure out how to set up my new bed.

It ended up being a little more complicated than we thought (I think most things are like that), so we had to figure out how to do some of the steps differently than how the instructions described. And we had to keep moving different pieces around the room to make space for us to do the work. It was pretty funny seeing all the weird ways we made it work, but we figured it out and I’m happy with how it looks! And then because the mattress I bought is a hybrid foam and spring mattress, we rolled it out and watched it fluff up right in front of us. And when we were done, I think we were both pretty proud of what we did!

I really didn’t think it was going to be as tough to put together as it was, so I was even more grateful that Joanna was willing to help me out. It’s tough for me to ask friends to help me with things, especially when they are tasks like putting together things or moving when I know I could hire someone. But having a friend come by did make the evening more fun and we had a chance to be silly.

And now, my room is really starting to look like a bedroom and not just a blank space. It’s another step closer to making the condo look like my condo and my home and seeing my bed there made me even more excited about living in that space soon!

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Default ThumbnailSome Real World Results From My Workouts (or Only Moving A Few Heavy Things) Default ThumbnailA Few Delays With My Monthly Challenge (or This Month, I Will Be Moving) Default ThumbnailOne Step Closer To Moving (or My First HOA Meeting) Default ThumbnailMoving So Much Yet So Little (or Continuing To Decide What I Really Want) Default ThumbnailA Transition Of What Feels Like Home (or Getting Even Closer To Moving) Default ThumbnailStill Preparing To Move (or Getting Rid Of Some Things And Buying Others)

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Watching The Oscars With Friends (or Another Thing That Is Almost Back To Normal)

Posted on March 30, 2022 | Comments Off on Watching The Oscars With Friends (or Another Thing That Is Almost Back To Normal)

Even though the pandemic started just over 2 years ago, there was only 1 Oscar ceremony that was really affected by Covid. The 2020 ceremony was one of the last “normal” things that happened before everything shut down. Somehow, that feels like it wasn’t really 2 years ago but also so long ago. And I don’t think any of us were that worried about Covid at that time. I know we were all aware of it, but it still seemed so far away from us and not something that would affect us. We really had no clue what was about to come.

The Oscars last year was an odd experience to watch. There was no party to go to but the group that I normally see for the Oscars was together on Zoom. So we all watched on our own and then during the commercials, we unmuted our computers and talked about what we just saw. It was nice to be able to still be a bit connected for something that has become a tradition for us, but it was also a reminder of things that we were missing out on. And the ceremony itself didn’t feel the same as it normally does, so I think the entire evening felt a bit off to me. But I still was grateful that I was able to have something that reminded me a bit of what I used to get to do.

And for this year, my friends did a small gathering to watch the awards. Everyone who was there has been vaccinated and boosted and most of us are somewhat in a pod together or we don’t see others. I know that it would have been amazing to have a big party like we used to, but this was the way we had to do it to stay safe. I just was grateful that I am in this small protected pod so I was able to go. And I think also a bunch of people took Covid tests leading up to the party to be extra careful.

Because I was going to go to an in-person party, I had to think of a costume. I know that it would have been ok if I didn’t have one, but I wanted to take advantage of being with my friends and doing something that I used to do before the pandemic. But the problem with thinking of a costume was that I really didn’t see that many movies in the past year. I didn’t even see all the screeners I got for the SAG Awards. I hate how disconnected I have become with movies, but I’ve had other things taking up my time and I just don’t love watching movies at home as much as I do in theaters, and I don’t feel ready to go back to movie theaters just yet.

So I decided to look at a list of movies that came out last year to see if anything inspired me. I was willing to dress as either a character in a movie or something that represented a movie. And as I was looking down the list, I figured out what I should do pretty quickly. Even though I didn’t see this movie, there was a movie that came out last year called “Licorice Pizza”. And I knew I could do a fun thing with that movie name.

In one of my grocery deliveries a while ago, I ordered something that wasn’t available and they swapped it for these microwave french bread pizzas. So I had a pizza box. And it was very easy for me to go to the store and buy some of my favorite licorice. And my friend suggested I should find a way to make it a purse, so I took the strap off of a water bottle holder I had and used a hole punch to make holes in the pizza box.

It wasn’t a crazy or elaborate costume, but I thought it was fun and I was happy with how it looked. And I think other people really liked it and thought it was funny because it got a good reaction at the party! I didn’t place in the costume contest (but I never expect to) but I did get a few votes!

And this party was really so nice. It wasn’t exactly like the pre-pandemic parties, but it was close. I sat in the quiet room as usual to watch the Oscars, and there were only 3 of us who were in there most of the time. In the other viewing area, there were a lot more people watching but I like being in the quiet room. And a highlight of the evening was that one of the people at the party was in a commercial that aired during the awards! That was so much fun and I can’t remember that happening at another party.

Before and after the awards, a lot of us were trying to guess the movies in the pictures that Marie and Chris made. I wasn’t able to guess a lot of them, but that was more about me not knowing the movies that came out. I guessed some of them based on the picture and then was surprised that it was a movie title and I guessed it correctly.

Overall, I had such an amazing time at the Oscar party. It was something that I missed so much the year before and I am so glad that we were able to do something that felt so close to normal. I can’t really forget that we are still in a pandemic and that this had to be an acceptable risk for me, but it was still a bit of an escape from the real world for a few hours. And I just hope that things still keep getting better so that we can continue to have things get closer to the old normal as we did for the Oscars.

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Default ThumbnailStill Watching The Oscars With Friends (or Not Missing This Tradition For Anything) Default ThumbnailWatching The Oscars (or Costumes and Twitter) Default ThumbnailA Night Of Oscars (or Last Minute Costumes and Enjoying The Show) Default ThumbnailOscars Time! (or Inside Out vs. Star Wars) Default ThumbnailIt’s SAG Awards Time! (or I Still Love Watching To See Who Wins) Default ThumbnailOscar Party Time (or Feeling Inspired)

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2 Years Of Movie Club (or Another Pandemic-Related Anniversary)

Posted on March 18, 2022 | Comments Off on 2 Years Of Movie Club (or Another Pandemic-Related Anniversary)

As I said before, there are a few different dates that can be anniversaries for the start of the pandemic. For me, the last “normal” day is a big one. Also, the last date I worked out at Orangetheory before the studios shut down for over a year is something a remember a lot. But I also have a positive anniversary connected to the pandemic. Today marks exactly 2 years since the first movie I watched with online friends through Teleparty which was the start of what we now call Movie Club.

I love that I have a screenshot of the first post that I posted in the Facebook group announcing our first movie together. Things have changed quite a bit since that first movie. Now, we have a separate Facebook group just for Movie Club although everyone in it is still a member of the group it originated from. We do movies on Saturdays and a tv show on Wednesdays. And most of the women who are in Movie Club have become some of my closest friends even though I have never met any of them in real life.

I wish I had been able to meet them this past weekend when the others were able to get together, but I know there will be another opportunity to meet up with everyone. But to think that about 2 years ago I didn’t really know anyone that well and now we are always talking and texting is pretty incredible. Most of us knew each other a bit through the other Facebook group we were in, but we didn’t become close until we were meeting each week in Movie Club.

I think everyone has a lot of negative thoughts about what happened during the pandemic, but many also have a few bright spots of what the past 2 years brought. Some people had the opportunity to spend more time with their families. Some lost their jobs but ended up finding their dream job or even creating their dream job. I think almost everyone can say they were able to find things they valued in their life and tried to focus more on that and less on the things that didn’t matter. Everyone had to reevaluate a lot about their lives since 2020, and I’m glad that a lot of people got positive things out of that. And I was lucky enough to not only have that chance but also have all the wonderful things that Movie Club has brought into my life.

I have said many times that making friends as an adult is tough, but this was the perfect way to form friendships. I don’t know if we would have been able to do this if we created Movie Club during normal times when we weren’t all isolated from others. There was something special that came together and allowed us to find a way to come together. We have all talked about how lucky we are and how this might not be able to have been done if we had tried any other time. Everything had to be aligned for it to work out the way it did and I’m so grateful for that.

I have a feeling that Movie Club will continue to have our movie and tv nights for a while. We may eventually have them less frequently (we have been skipping a few Saturdays and might go from every week to every other week one day), but I think they will still be a regular part of my life for a long time. And even if the official group eventually ends, there is no doubt in my mind that I have made lifelong friends from Movie Club that will always be a part of my life.

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Default ThumbnailHaving More Virtual Movie Nights (or Still Trying To Be Social) Default Thumbnail19 Years In LA (or The LA Anniversary Between Two Big Milestone Anniversaries) Default Thumbnail2 Years Into The Pandemic (or Still Seeing What Is The New Normal And What Has Returned To Normal) Default ThumbnailFriends Are Living All Over (or Another Thing Because Of The Pandemic) Default ThumbnailSo Many Virtual Movie Nights (or Thank Goodness For Technology) Default ThumbnailAlmost Forgot My Hip Surgery Anniversary Again (or 15 Years Down)

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Missing A Trip (or I Know There Will Be More Chances In The Future)

Posted on March 11, 2022 | Comments Off on Missing A Trip (or I Know There Will Be More Chances In The Future)

This weekend, I was supposed to go on a trip. This was going to be my first trip in quite a long time. I don’t get to travel that often to begin with, but for the past 2 years, the furthest I’ve been from LA has been Santa Barbara. And this was a trip that I had been looking forward to for a while.

I’ve written about the Movie Club I started at the beginning of the pandemic with a Facebook group that I’m in and how a small group of us have gotten very close. Even though I have been chatting and texting with this group for about 2 years, we have never met in person. And this weekend, we planned a trip to finally get to meet each other.

One person in the group is housesitting at a farm where there is enough room for all of us to go there. And I was so excited for this trip and really was doing my best to try to find any way to be there. But the biggest issue for me was trying to make it there. Everyone in the group except me is on the east coast. And this weekend was going to be on the east coast of Canada. I wasn’t as worried about getting into Canada even with the different travel protocols. But getting to the east coast quickly looked impossible.

The first setback I hit was finding flights I could take. I know that getting on a plane is not the safest thing to do, but I wanted to make it as safe as I could. So I was only looking at flights that wouldn’t require a stop or a layover. Those turned out to be pretty limited. And when I opened my search to ones that did have stops, so many had stops in cities I didn’t want a layover in (mostly due to weather) or they had extremely long layovers. If I was going away just for a weekend, I didn’t want to spend 10 hours traveling when I could do it in 5. I looked at flights into other airports that would be cheaper, but then that still made my travel day extra long because I would be flying for 5 hours and then driving for 2 or 3.

As much as I could tolerate the idea of traveling for so long just for a weekend to finally meet my friends, the thing that stopped me was looking at ticket prices. Even the cheapest options were going to be close to $1000 for me. That’s a lot of money for a weekend and I have had a lot of expenses lately that made me hesitate to spend that much on another thing. I was checking flights every day for over a month, but I finally had to admit defeat and tell the group that there is no way for me to make it this weekend.

Everyone understood, especially since I was the one who was traveling the furthest. And I know they wish I could be there but it just isn’t possible. There is one other person from the group who won’t be able to make it due to a work conflict, and while I’m glad we have each other to talk to about how sad we are that we are missing out, I wish there was a way that all of us could be there.

I’m trying to not be too down on myself about this all because there just wasn’t a good way to make it happen. And the group is already planning a trip to come to LA, so that will obviously be easier for me to plan out. But it’s tough when this is something I have been looking forward to for a while. I’m trying to make the best of this weekend at home when I was thinking I’d be away and I’m already working on planning what we will do when the group comes to LA. Even though I am missing this first group trip, I know it’s only the first of many and I will have so many other opportunities in the future to travel with them.

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Default ThumbnailTrip Planning (or Keeping Panic To A Minimum) Default ThumbnailBack To LA (or Reflections On The NYC Trip) Default ThumbnailThe Rest Of My Maryland Trip (or More Family Time) Default ThumbnailA Plane Ride And A Mini Road Trip (or My Adventure To Get To Lake Tahoe) Default ThumbnailTrip Prep (or How The Earthquake Made Me Super Productive) Default ThumbnailA Day In Joshua Tree (or The End Of My Trip To Palm Springs)

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Another Random Friend Hangout (or So Happy For In-Person Time)

Posted on February 24, 2022 | Comments Off on Another Random Friend Hangout (or So Happy For In-Person Time)

Seeing my friends in person has been a rare occurrence since the pandemic. And for the most part, any time I’ve seen someone in person has been a planned out thing. Sometimes it’s planning to see a show or going to a meal. But it usually is something I know is coming so I can be excited about it. And while I miss some of the spontaneity of how life used to be, I’ve also gotten used to planning on when I can see friends. But this week, I was so lucky to get to have a random friend hang out that I didn’t plan for.

A friend of mine posted online that they were wondering if anyone had a paper shredder they could borrow. A few of us offered, but I happened to be the offer that was closest to his house so he asked if he could use mine. I don’t use my shredder that often and I never have anything that needs to be done urgently, so I don’t mind letting someone else use it for a while.

When he was coming over to get it, I didn’t know if he would just come by and pick it up or if he had some free time to chat. I was so happy that he didn’t have anywhere to rush to so he could hang out with me and we could catch up in person. While we have been on a lot of phone and Zoom calls over the past two years, we hadn’t seen each other in person. And as I’ve said before, seeing a friend in person is so different from seeing them virtually. So I was so grateful for this time to catch up and feel connected again to a friend.

And just like so many of my friend hangouts since the pandemic, this one had a pretty big variety in our conversation. It makes sense since it seems like we have to catch up on 2 years of information. It can make things be a bit disjointed, but I love getting to hear all the random things that have been going on that I haven’t heard about yet. And my friend has been busy working on set, so hearing about how that has been going was really interesting. I’ve had a few friends book roles since the pandemic, but nobody that has been working as regularly as this friend. And hearing him talk about all the different precautions being taken and how safe the sets have been. I have no clue when I might book something, but just hearing how things have been going made me feel better about the potential of being on a set soon. There are so many things we have to worry about these days, and I don’t want to have to question anything if I’m lucky enough to book an acting job.

And he was asking me all about the condo and I was showing him photos of the different things I’ve picked out and some of the progress photos. I wish we could have gone over there so I could have shown him my new place, but I was finishing up so work so I couldn’t leave and I didn’t want to bother any workers that might be busy over there. Since I usually only go over after work, I haven’t seen the workers too often. But staying out of the way is probably best.

He was able to stay and hang out for over an hour before he had to head out to work on some more errands. But I know I’ll get another friend hang out with him soon since I’ll have to see him when he returns my shredder. And that time we will plan for it and maybe get to do something other than just catch up while hanging out in my living room. But if that’s what we do end up doing, I know I will be so happy about that since any in-person friend time is so special and precious to me.

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Default ThumbnailHaving An In-Person Co-Worker For Once (or Work Plus A Friend Hangout) Default ThumbnailAn Unexpected Friend Hangout (or Helping Out And Getting Social Time) Default ThumbnailA Friend Party (or A Casual Hangout And Catchup) Default ThumbnailThis Felt So Normal (or I’ve Missed Having Really Random Friend Hangouts) Default ThumbnailA Santa Barbara Friend Hangout (or Meeting Another Baby) Default ThumbnailAnother Friend Happy Hour (or We Both Know We Need To Do This More Often)

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A More Normal Cheesecake Outing (or Still Savoring In-Person Hangouts)

Posted on January 19, 2022 | Comments Off on A More Normal Cheesecake Outing (or Still Savoring In-Person Hangouts)

It’s been a tradition for a long time for me to go out to dinner with my friend Joanna to Cheesecake Factory around the new year. Some years we are closer to January 1st and other years it can take us a bit of time to plan when we can meet up. But just like our birthday dinner tradition, this is one that we have been able to keep up for quite a while.

But for our cheesecake outing at the beginning of 2021, we knew we couldn’t go in person. It just wasn’t safe for either of us, especially since neither of us were vaccinated at that point. So we decided to each order delivery food and we ate together over Zoom. It wasn’t the same as our normal dinners, but it was a way for us to keep our tradition going.

This year, it’s debatable if things are better or worse. And as I’ve said before, it can be tough to know which risks are acceptable and which ones are just too much to do. So we tried to find a way to make our cheesecake dinner happen but be as safe as possible.

Instead of going to dinner, we went for lunch. We knew it might still be crowded, but we thought lunch would hopefully be better. We also agreed we would only be willing to eat outside. We normally sit outside, but we were going to let the host know when arriving that we would be willing to wait for an outside table instead of being seated inside. And of course, both of us are vaccinated and boosted plus we had our masks for when we weren’t eating. I also had forgotten until we showed up that you also have to now show proof of vaccination in order to eat there, so we know the others there were vaccinated as well.

And I think we made some smart choices. Normally, we do have to wait a bit to be seated when we go, but this time we were able to be seated immediately. And even though it was right as lunchtime started, the patio didn’t have too many people on it. I also think they reduced the seating on the patio so the tables weren’t as close as they normally are. While these are all good things, I also know I was a bit more on edge than I normally am when we’ve gone to get cheesecake. I have rarely gone out to eat in the past 2 years, and it has gotten a bit easier each time. But it’s still something that makes me nervous and I know that feeling will probably last for a while.

But even though I was a bit nervous, going out to hang out with a friend made me so happy! I know Joanna and I try to see each other more often, but it usually doesn’t happen (even in non-pandemic times). So having our traditions twice a year are really special for us. And I also just enjoy any time I get to see someone in real life instead of on a screen.

We both ordered a lunch special (instead of me getting my usual salad) and then we had a lot of time to catch up on life. Both of us are going through renovation stuff with our places (although hers is due to a leak at her building), so we shared stories of what we’ve both been going through. And this was the first time we had hung out since I bought the condo, so she wanted to know all about it! And because we were seated outside and the Grove had quite a few people there, we also had a great time people watching and noticing all the interesting things happening around us. I never realized how much I could miss something as simple as people watching, but it’s something I haven’t gotten to do much in the last 2 years.

And of course, any outing to Cheesecake Factory has to include cheesecake. Normally we get 2 slices and split them in half so we each get half a slice of both flavors. But we were both full after lunch so we only got one piece to split (which honestly is more than enough).

I know I’ve said this almost any time I’ve seen a friend in real life, but I needed this time. I want to try to be better about seeing my friends, but it’s not easy. It’s not easy in normal times when I’m tired after work, but it’s that much harder when we have to consider how safe certain things may be to do. But I am trying to be better about it and I’m glad Joanna and I were able to schedule our cheesecake outing so we got to have this time together.

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A Chill New Year’s Eve (or Getting To Have A Little Celebration)

Posted on January 7, 2022 | Comments Off on A Chill New Year’s Eve (or Getting To Have A Little Celebration)

Most of the time for New Year’s Eve, I’m at a party with friends. I don’t like to go out to big events, but celebrating with my friends is the perfect way to celebrate with others but also have a low-key evening. There is no pressure to dress up, things are casual, and I always have fun. When the pandemic started, I don’t think any of us thought it would last through the end of the year. But it did, and I spend the end of 2020 home by myself and alone. I didn’t like spending a night that is normally a celebration alone, but that’s what needed to happen so everyone could stay safe and healthy.

By the end of 2021, things were better and worse at the same time. There are vaccines and treatment options to help, but the numbers are very high and people are still getting sick and dying. So being at a big party with friends wouldn’t have been a safe or smart choice. Fortunately, I was invited to a very small gathering with friends for New Year’s Eve and this group was all people who take things seriously. For example, one person invited found out they were in close contact with someone who tested positive the day before. Even though they didn’t test positive, they didn’t come because they didn’t want to risk getting everyone sick. Knowing that we all were taking the pandemic that seriously made me feel better about meeting up with a few people.

It was a very low-key night. We hung out and played some silly card games. And of course just talked and enjoyed being with other people. Most of us are staying pretty isolated or with very limited contact with friends in real life, so it was a nice break from that. There was still a sense of needing to be careful and cautious while we were together, but we did relax a bit more than I normally would around other people. And I needed this after not seeing many friends for so long. While the state of the world and pandemic never left my mind, I didn’t think about it as much as I usually do and that was a nice break for me.

However, I was dealing with a lot of pain and nausea over New Year’s Eve, so I wasn’t sure how long I’d be staying at the gathering. I was hoping I would make it until midnight, but I also knew that if I was feeling horrible that I might have to leave sooner. And I also thought that leaving before midnight would probably be safer when thinking about crazy drivers on the road. So I went to see my friends knowing that I might leave early and that’s exactly what I did. I tried to stay as long as I could, but I really wanted to just lay in bed and try to feel better after a few hours. I left just after 11pm and was home in bed when it was midnight and 2022 officially started.

Somehow, having half of a party night and half of a night at home alone seemed perfect to spend this past New Year’s Eve. We are not back to the old normal, but we are not in the same place we were in 2020. We are somewhere in the middle and that’s what my evening was. It was between what my normal is like and what the last year was like. Maybe by the start of 2023, we will be able to have a party the way we normally do. I want to be hopeful and think that, but I’ve also thought that so many times and have been wrong before. But at least things are slowly progressing toward normal and I didn’t have to spend the entire evening alone again.

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Some Secret Santa Fun (or More Virtual Social Time)

Posted on December 21, 2021 | Comments Off on Some Secret Santa Fun (or More Virtual Social Time)

As I’ve mentioned on here a few times before, I have a group of friends that I met through a FB group that I watch movies and tv shows with over TeleParty. And from that group, a smaller group of us have become close and have a text group between us. We share a lot of random things in that text group, but we share serious things too. And because we are pretty much always talking over text on a daily basis, we have gotten very close. It’s still crazy how close we have gotten even though none of us have met in person yet, but I think a lot of people have experienced that over the past two years.

We’ve done Secret Santas within the FB group we are in before, but this year we decided to do one just within our group. We used a website to set it all up so it figured out who we would give gifts to and it allowed us to put wish lists on there too. I had a bit of a hard time figuring out what to put on my wish list, but I took my time and thought about some things I would normally buy for myself and some things that I might not get for myself. I don’t normally put practical things on a wish list, but it made sense this time.

Because of delays with the post office, we set this all up in November with the idea that we would have a few weeks to get things shipped to each other. And to open gifts, we set up a Zoom hangout.

We’ve been on Zoom together as a group, but only a handful of times over the past 2 years. And it had been a while since we had been on Zoom together, so it was nice to see each other’s faces and hear everyone’s voices. Texting is good for handling a lot of communication, but hearing and seeing people makes it feel more real.

We ended up being on Zoom together for about 3 hours. Most of that time was us being silly and sharing random stories or updates from our lives. There are 3 of us getting ready to move, so that was a part of the chat. But I think all of us craved this social time since most of us are still pretty isolated. All of us are aware of how the pandemic is having a surge so we are all being careful with how much we go out and do things. So having our time on Zoom was a much-needed break from being alone.

And of course, we had to open our gifts together! For the person I got to give gifts to, I sent them 3 things on their list and 1 random thing that I thought would be funny. And I think most of us had that idea because most of us got some things we put on our lists and one or two little things that we didn’t have on our list.

For me, I got 2 things from my list and 1 extra. I got new workout gloves (which I need and hadn’t had a chance to buy myself) and a ring that I saw online that I liked that is a pretty basic ring. And the person who got me my gifts also painted me a little cute square canvas that I know I will put somewhere in my office space when I move to the condo.

I don’t think any of us expected to be on our Zoom for so long, but I’m so glad we got to have this time together. We’ve been trying to plan a group trip somewhere for almost a year, but we keep having to put it off because of the pandemic. We do still hope that we can have a group trip soon so we can finally meet in real life, but we just have to wait until it’s a bit safer. But at least we got to give each other gifts and spend some virtual time together that wasn’t just texting.

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