Posted onNovember 11, 2020|Comments Off on All My Plans Didn’t Happen (or Vertigo Knocked Me Down)
I’m sorry if this is a short or rambling post. But I hope you understand.
I was all prepared to see my family this past weekend, but that didn’t end up happening. I got struck by a horrible case of vertigo.
I’ve had vertigo since I was a teenager. But it’s usually not that bad. I might have a quick severe case, but it’s done in minutes. This time, it’s been severe and lasting a long time. As I write this post, I’m at 72 hours and counting.
Saturday, I knew I was having mild symptoms pretty much when I woke up. But it didn’t affect my workout or getting some things done. I still knew something wasn’t right, but I hoped it would pass. But it didn’t. It only got worse. By the time I was supposed to start getting ready to drive to Santa Barbara, I could no longer stand. The room was spinning. And even laying down, everything was spinning around me. I could only make it stop by laying down on one side.
Obviously, there was no way I could drive and I was upset that I had to cancel my plans with my family. Sunday, I only got out of bed a few times. And when I did, I had to crawl to do things. I couldn’t even walk to the bathroom, which is about 3 feet from my bed.
Monday and Tuesday, I was able to start walking a bit, but I had to hold on to walls to hold myself up. It was tough to sit up, but I could do it.
I have no clue how much longer this vertigo will last, but it is finally starting to get better. It’s so frustrating because I want to get back to my life, but doing some of the smallest things is exhausting me. Just walking to my kitchen feels like a marathon.
But hopefully, it won’t take that much longer before I can do normal things again so I can get back to my life.
Posted onNovember 6, 2020|Comments Off on Being Social Feels A Bit Cold (or Another Realization About The Pandemic)
I’ve been making more of an effort to try to be social over the past month. I know that I’m very isolated at home and I can’t keep doing that. But it can be hard to find the balance between being social and being safe. I don’t want to go out where there will be a lot of people and I really don’t want to be out somewhere that a lot of people aren’t wearing masks. And I keep being fearful that I will take a slightly higher risk than I have and that’s what will get me sick. So I have to make sure that whatever I choose to do, I pick things that are safe.
I think that’s one reason why I’m happy to go see my family. I’m sure I would have seen them just as often without a pandemic. But when I’m with my family it’s the one time I can be social and not scared. Before we see each other, we take precautions to make sure that we aren’t going to get each other sick. When I’m around my family, I do still have a little hesitation because of the new fears in my head, but I know I don’t have to worry as much. If anyone in my family thought for a moment that they had been exposed, we wouldn’t be seeing each other.
My social time outside of my family has been very limited. Most of the time, it’s virtual socialization. I’ve rarely seen a friend in person and when I have it’s been at a distance and wearing masks. And thinking about that has been making me sad and I couldn’t figure out exactly why. But earlier this week, I finally was able to put a word to the feeling.
All the social interactions I’ve had (outside of my family) have been very cold. You can’t hug your friends. You can’t be completely comfortable because you have to be cautious. With very few exceptions, you have to be wearing a mask. And wearing a mask almost takes away some of the human element of being social. It’s hard when you can’t see the bottom half of someone’s face. It is like a barrier between you and your friends (and yes, I know it literally is) that keeps you from connecting the same way you are used to. There is a degree of separation that we aren’t used to having when we are out with people.
I think having virtual hangouts has the same issues. There is something that isn’t quite right and feels normal. You aren’t getting the same connection that you get when you hang out together in person. I know that everyone is trying to make it feel like it’s not weird, but there’s something that will never feel the same when you are looking at someone on a screen and you aren’t in the same space.
I don’t know how to fix this feeling. I know that some of my friends have been working on creating bubbles where they know that they are only seeing each other. Many of my friends don’t have the luxury of not having to go out to work, so it’s not easy for me to find someone that I could be in a bubble with. I know that we could try to find things we could do outside and if we sit far enough away we wouldn’t necessarily have to wear masks, but that still feels a bit too risky for so many of us. Again, it’s all about finding what risks we are willing to take. And I know that my group of friends is probably more cautious than most, but it’s for good reason. I’ve known too many people who got sick. One of my friends had only been leaving their house to go to the grocery store (where everyone is wearing a mask) and they still got sick. Fortunately, most of my friends have made full or almost full recoveries. But some are still dealing with issues months after they were told that they were over it.
We’ve been in this pandemic for about 8 months now. I am still learning so much about how to survive in such isolation and what I feel like I need to feel better. New things are discovered all the time. A month or two ago, I probably would have said that I didn’t care if I was seeing people in masks because it was being social. Now I know that doing that helps but it still leaves me feeling sad and like I’m not fully experiencing my time with my friends. But I don’t know if I can do anything to change that for now. I just have to continue to find ways to manage right now and hope that soon enough we will be through this pandemic and I won’t have these concerns anymore.
Posted onNovember 3, 2020|Comments Off on Election Day (or Just Vote)
I’ve written about the importance of voting on here the other day. I’m not going to go into those same discussions again in this post. But since today is Election Day, I’m asking all of you again to please just vote.
I’m sure many of you have already voted either by mail or early in-person. And thank you for doing that. Voting is always important, but I think most of you would agree that this election is critical. There are so many things happening in our country that could be fixed or worked on if our elected leaders wanted to do so. But right now, many elected leaders do not see those issues the same way. For example, the extra unemployment could have been extended but the politicians in charge did not see that as something they needed to do. In fact, they have said they wanted to wait until after the election. So they felt like people getting a few hundred dollars a week was more than enough and it didn’t matter (for example, I’m only getting $200 a week right now which doesn’t even cover my rent).
There has been a lot of stress leading up to this election. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to feel after it’s all done. I didn’t do as much as I could have to help get the vote out, but I did as much as I could handle. I wish I had the ability to do phone and text banking like many of my friends did. And I looked into writing postcards. But honestly, my mental health couldn’t take it. And I had to be ok with that. I focused on what I could do, such as reaching out to my friends and posting on social media and amplifying voices that were more informed than mine.
And because so many of us haven’t been working, we’ve had more time than ever to worry about this election. While I don’t expect us to know who won by the end of tonight, by tonight there will be very little that we can do. All that is left is making sure that all the votes are counted and that the courts don’t stop counting ballots that arrived on time because of an arbitrary deadline. I think everyone would love to know for sure who won tonight, but that’s never really the case. So I’m mentally prepared for several days of uncertainty.
Since there will likely be uncertainty, I am doing things to make the time a bit easier on me. And one step I can do is to write these blog posts in advance. I have the next few days planned out and will likely be writing them before this post goes live. So I want to explain that the next few days will probably not mention the election or current events. I might re-write posts or move things around if I feel up for it, but I’m allowing myself to not have to worry about blogging for the next few days. I do have some fun things to write about and I’m looking forward to sharing them. And when we have more news about the outcome of the election and I can put my thoughts together, I will write about it then. But I don’t want to write a bunch of posts saying I don’t know what’s going to happen or speculating. So until there is something to write about, I don’t think I will be writing much about the election again.
So this is my last time asking you all to please vote. Being apolitical or not voting is not a sign of anything other than that you are perfectly fine with how everything is happening right now. You don’t have to have a perfect candidate to vote for them. You just have to vote for the one you feel would do a better job running our country. If you aren’t registered to vote, please check your state as many states do allow Election Day registration. If you haven’t voted in multiple elections and are embarrassed to be a first-time voter, don’t be. It doesn’t matter what you have done before now, it matters what you do this time. So vote. That’s it. That’s all you have to do. And let’s hope that this election will be one that helps our country move forward and start to improve.
Posted onOctober 29, 2020|Comments Off on Almost Election Day (or I’m Asking You All To Please Vote)
We are less than a week away from Election Day. Honestly, I’m ready for the presidential campaign to be done. It feels like it’s been going on since the last election. And that’s partially true since Trump started his re-election campaign right after he was elected. And this election has been very overwhelming. There are so many things we are all aware of as a country with what happened that might not need to have happened. We have seen how other countries have worked with slowing the pandemic and it’s frustrating to see that our national leadership isn’t doing the same. And since so many of us are out of work, we all have more time to be informed about the news each day.
Election Day feels like a very different thing this time. Normally, it felt like most people would go out to vote on Election Day. I always voted by mail, but I know a lot of people who never did that before. This year, people are calling Election Day the deadline to vote, not the date to vote. I can’t think of any of my friends in California that are voting in person. Everyone is voting by mail and almost all of us have been dropping off our ballots in a ballot box instead of mailing them back.
And I think most of us are aware that we probably won’t know who won by the end of Election Day. The projections that the various news agencies put out are just projections, not totals. Typically, it takes a few days (if not longer) after Election Day to finish counting ballots. And this is because, in most states, they cannot start counting ballots until the morning of Election Day. I don’t think states should be counting and announcing what is happening with the mail-in ballots before Election Day, but I do think it makes sense to allow states to start going through them and counting. Especially because some politicians are starting to say that they do not believe ballots should be counted after Election Day. I’m not even talking about ballots that are mailed before Election Day and arrive after. This is about ballots that are ready to be counted on Election Day but because of time they are not counted before midnight. Let’s say there are 10 million mail-in ballots but only enough time to count 7 million before midnight. Should those 3 million votes not count? Should your vote be a luck of the draw if it’s considered? No. Every vote should be counted. And there is no need for us to know who won immediately. In the last several elections, we didn’t know right away. So why do we need to know that night now?
And for ballots that are mailed back before Election Day, there are issues with those too. Many states have decided that if a ballot is postmarked before Election Day but does not arrive on time, it is not valid. And considering how slow the mail is these days, I think a lot of ballots that are mailed won’t make it in time. For example, when I mail things to my family it’s usually there within a day or two. The last time I mailed something to my parents, it took almost 3 weeks. The slow mail is the reason I used a ballot box this time. And I’m lucky in LA that we have so many ballot boxes. Other states are making it very difficult to return a ballot. For example, in Texas, they are restricting ballot boxes to 1 per county. Some counties have millions of people or are very large and people have to drive miles to get to the box. And if you mail your ballot back, it can only arrive the day after Election Day to count, so many people are dropping them off. That has lead to lines at the ballot boxes that can take hours to get through. And not everyone can take the day to drop off a ballot (or wait in line to vote in person). So making it harder to vote is also potentially preventing people from voting.
But even with all the difficulties that there might be voting this year, I want to encourage you all to vote. Actually, because of the difficulties I want people to vote. We can make voting easier for everyone if we have politicians in office who believe in doing that. Texas didn’t have to make things difficult. They made that decision and said it would be fine. Hopefully, those who are upset with these new policies will vote in people who want to make voting accessible to all. It’s not just about voting for the president (although that is important). It’s about voting for the people who will be making the decisions in your state, city, and district. You want people in office who represent you and that you agree with. And that only happens if you vote. If you don’t take this chance, you are silencing your voice for what you want.
If you have a mail-in ballot, please do not mail it back. Even if you have to drive a bit to a ballot box, it’s the only way now to guarantee your ballot will arrive on time and can be counted. If you are voting in person and if your state has early voting you may want to do that to avoid the lines that might be happening on Election Day. I know the lines for early voting are happening too, but you can time early voting around your schedule so hopefully, you can go on a day that you have more availability.
And I hope that no matter what way this election turns out, that we can find a way to come together again. The split in our country has gone too far and we need to find a way to work on supporting each other. Just because people might not have voted for a politician doesn’t mean that politician can say they aren’t going to help them. Just because you didn’t vote for someone means you should be protesting anything they do and threatening them. We are stronger when we are united and together. And we need to be stronger than we have been in the recent past so we can regain what we have lost this year.
Posted onOctober 23, 2020|Comments Off on An Outing To The Dentist (or Doubling Up On The Panic)
So many people have been putting off things during the pandemic. I’m guilty of that for sure. There are some doctor appointments that I typically do at the end of summer or beginning of fall that I haven’t done yet. Right now, I want to try to avoid going to the hospital if I can. But I also know that putting things off can make any issues worse. People who are putting off their mammograms might not catch breast cancer at the earliest stage. People who are putting off care for on-going conditions might find things getting worse. I’m not putting off anything that is urgent (for example, I was supposed to go to the dermatologist for an annual mole check, but I also haven’t been going outside much this year), but I also know that I can’t put things off forever.
That’s kind of what happened with the dentist. Earlier this year, I was supposed to go in for my cleaning. I have shared several times that I have genetically bad teeth. I can do everything right, but things can still go wrong. I initially put off the appointment because they were closed for everything except emergencies, and my cleaning wasn’t an emergency. When they reopened, I wanted to see how the cases were going before making an appointment (since you can’t wear a mask at the dentist), but then I ended up having an emergency with my crown. So I went in for that to be fixed as well as my cleaning, and I found out things were worse than they normally were for me because I waited a few months for the appointment. It’s not necessarily my fault, but it’s a sign of why I need to keep up with my cleanings on the schedule that I normally have.
So after that last cleaning and major work, I made sure I set up my next cleaning appointment and I told myself I had to keep that appointment unless something really crazy happened. And that appointment was yesterday and I went. When I originally set that appointment, I was hoping I’d be back at work by now. But since I’m not, I was able to change my appointment time to be a bit earlier. That was better for me so there was less time that I was worried about stuff before I went in.
But my panic attacks about the dentist came back yesterday morning. I was a bit surprised by how bad it was. I wasn’t going to cancel the appointment, but I knew things were not going to be easy for me. I was trying to think through why I was so panicked, and I realized that I probably was experiencing my normal panic about the dentist and then had the panic about being somewhere without a mask on top of that. I know my dentist is cleaning their office really well between patients and they are keeping it limited to 1 patient at a time. But it’s still hard to feel calm about being somewhere without a mask right now, especially when there is no distance between me and the dentist (who was in a mask and a face shield). And as soon as I saw the dental chair, things got even worse for me.
The dentist knows how hard being there is for me and she was very patient with me and tried to keep me calm. I asked her to do things a bit out of order and check my teeth for any major issues before anything else because I know that will help bring my panic down. I’m grateful that she did that and she was able to tell me that there was nothing wrong with my teeth or any of my previous dental work and that this would just be a regular cleaning and that’s it.
Things went as well as I could have hoped except for one part of the cleaning. Normally, they use an ultrasonic cleaner to do some of the scraping work. That makes it go by so much faster and it’s much easier on me. You don’t feel the same tugging on your teeth with that cleaner and in my head, it’s less stressful on my teeth (I have no clue if that’s true or not). But because 0f the way that cleaner works, it can create an aerosol mist/spray that might have some saliva in it. So it’s not safe right now to use that. So the dentist had to use the regular scraper, which I hate and I ended up needing a few breaks during the cleaning to get my breathing back under control.
I’m sure I sound super dramatic about this all, but it’s hard when you know you have to go somewhere that makes you so nervous and panicky. But I know I have to do this in order to not make things worse for me. And in under an hour, I was done with the appointment with clean teeth and no more feeling of doom and dread.
My next dentist appointment is in 4 months, which is my normal schedule. Again, I’m hoping that maybe things will be a bit more normal by then, but I’m also realistic that it might be just like it is now. Hopefully when I go in, I’ll be a bit more prepared for both the dentist and being without a mask. But if not, I will just have to keep reminding myself that I will be ok and that it’s a minor blip in my day that will be done quickly.
Posted onOctober 22, 2020|Comments Off on Another Reminder That It’s Ok To Be Struggling (or We Might Be Isolated But Not Alone)
I’ve written a few posts about struggling during isolation. I think it’s such a common thing to be dealing with right now. Everyone is having difficulties in one sense or another. My friends with kids are trying to figure out how to make school make sense while they are home. I have a lot of friends who lost their jobs and are struggling to find new ones if they don’t think their jobs will be coming back. Anyone who lost a job that will be coming back is also struggling because of how low unemployment payments are (and there is still not a new plan signed that will supplement it). Some people have roommates or partners that they might not be getting along with.
And then there are people who live alone, as I do, who are dealing with extreme isolation. It’s still hard for me to be as isolated as I have been. Missing physical touch like hugs hasn’t been easier either. I think the longer I am without regular contact with others, the harder it’s been to deal with. And I think a big part of this struggle has been related to feeling like I’m losing a year of my life. This year is the year that very little progress will be made in my life. Some of my friends who are single and are my age have been talking about how we already feel like there is a clock with fertility and how tough it is to take away one of the last years they feel like they can have kids. I don’t feel that stress about kids as much as my friends do, but I understand the feeling completely.
And giving up a year of your life is harder when it doesn’t seem like everyone else is doing that. It feels at times that everyone else is out and living their lives while I stay home and do nothing. I know this isn’t true, but it’s tough to remember how many others are isolating like I am. I’ve described this feeling before as being on my own little planet and I think that still describes it. I’m out in the world staying in my house and things are continuing on without me being there. Again, I know this isn’t necessarily true, but it feels like it so much.
Part of being isolated is not realizing how many others are doing the same thing. On social media, people who are isolating are probably not posting about it as much as people who are going out and doing things. So you don’t hear their stories as much. But it doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. The more I talk to my friends, the more I know what they are doing. And the more I post about struggling, the more people who come forward saying they feel the exact same way.
Being alone and isolated doesn’t allow you to see who else is doing the same. We may be alone in our homes, but we are not alone in our actions. And I’m trying to remember that more and more. And I’m trying to remind myself that I’m not isolated for no reason. I’m doing this to keep myself healthy. I’m doing this to keep others healthy. And I’m doing this to help make this end sooner. The sooner more people isolate and stay home, the slower the spread of this will be. And maybe it can be almost eliminated from the area. I don’t have high hopes about it being gone from the country until we have a national plan, but if it can at least be safer to be outside my house, that will be a big step forward.
Posted onOctober 15, 2020|Comments Off on Having A Pretty Boring Routine (or This Keeps Repeating)
When the pandemic started, I wrote about how I wasn’t sure how I’d be able to keep up this blog. Honestly, at that time I really was hopeful that the safer at home orders would only last a month or two. I knew it would be longer than we were originally told, but I had no clue that it would last for 7 months with no end in sight just yet. I was worried about how I would manage still writing for those few months I would be stuck at home and thought I might have to change up my blog schedule.
I’m still shocked that I’ve managed to keep things going the way they always have for this long. I don’t have a lot going on every day. I occasionally will have something fun I get to do or I make an effort to go out and escape my house, but for the most part, I have very little to do.
Even though I’m technically not working my customer service job right now, I do log in 3 mornings a week to help out my manager (who is working now) in case she needs it. She did the same for me when I was the only one working, so I wanted to return the favor. And it’s really not a big deal. I rarely have to help her do anything. It’s only if there are a lot of customers she’s trying to help and there is something in our ticketing system she can’t find. Usually, I am logged in but watching random things online or doing other things in my house. Sometimes I’m logged in for only an hour and sometimes I’m working on something else so I stay logged in a few hours. It’s something that helps me keep a schedule and makes me get up on time.
Other days I have a workout in the morning. I’m getting more into making sure my workouts are not boring or too repetitive, but there is only so much I can do at my house. There are more and more options for outdoor workouts and I am exploring those options to see if any of them seem right to me. It would be nice to expand things, but I also don’t want to take risks that could get me sick. I hate that I’m turning into a bit of a germaphobe right now and I’m trying to make sure that I don’t take this to an extreme. But I also know that I have to be cautious and smart and that if anything happens to me that I would have a hard time forgiving myself.
And I have my Netflix Party groups on Wednesdays and Saturdays for a few hours. Technically, it’s now called Teleparty because you can use more services than Netflix now, but I think we are all still calling it Netflix Party. I can’t express how grateful I am for that group because they really are helping to keep me sane and are the best sounding board for so many things.
But those few things only take up a few hours each week. I have so much time that is just filled with nothing. I’ve said it before, but I’m getting very bored. I’m not bored to the point that I want to just forget there is a pandemic and am willing to take risks. I know some people are just over the situation and I understand how they feel. But I am bored and still staying inside.
I’m trying to find things to do so I at least am not just sitting and looking at my walls. I have watched more things online and read more books than I ever have before. But even watching tv and movies and reading books is not as entertaining as they have been before. I’m trying to find more things I can add to my daily or weekly routine that takes up time. Maybe I should look into online classes or something? But besides being bored, I’m also dealing with a bit of a lack of motivation. There are so many things I could do, I just don’t want to. I mean, I could cook super fancy meals every day if I wanted to. But I don’t.
So like I’ve said many times over the past 7 months, I’m bored of being bored. I know I’m not alone in this feeling, but it’s hard to deal with it. And it’s hard to think I’m not alone when I see so many people going out and not worrying about things. But I’m trying to stay strong and focus on doing what I can to keep myself busy and entertained. And hopefully, something will click with me that I could add to my routine and will make things more interesting for me.
Posted onOctober 13, 2020|Comments Off on Reflecting Back On Last Year’s Convention (or Photos Bring Back So Many Memories)
I know I’ve written before how sometimes I forget that it’s the anniversary of some important moment in my life until social media reminds me of it with an “on this day” post. Sometimes that reminds me of something good and sometimes it reminds me of something not good. But whatever it is, that post or photo brings back a ton of memories. This time, I almost reverse-engineered that idea. I knew something was coming up and I searched for the photos that would show me the date.
One year ago, my grandma passed away. The one year anniversary of her passing was actually this past Sunday. And I knew exactly what date it was because it was the same night as the National ConventionGala. I know I wrote a little about things in both of those posts, but I didn’t tell the full story of what happened and my memories of it.
I had a feeling my grandma was going to pass away during Convention. There was no reason for me to feel that way, but I did. I knew she wasn’t doing well, but her health had been declining for a while. The first time that I really heard that she might not live that much longer had been last September, but there wasn’t a timeline we were all thinking about. We just knew that she was slipping away and we had to be grateful whenever we could see her. I was hoping that she would make it to Thanksgiving so I could see her one more time, but I knew that it might not happen.
The day she passed away, I spent most of my day doing official Convention stuff. We ended around 5 and then I went to my car to get my clothes to change for the Gala. I changed in a room that was set aside for anyone to get ready in and I walked back to my car to put my day clothes and makeup away. And when I was walking back to the hotel to hang out before the Gala started, I saw a text from my dad. It didn’t say much. It was something like “Text me when you are doing at the Convention”. I think my parents thought that I’d be heading home after things were done, not that I had the Gala. But I knew I couldn’t wait until after the Gala was done. So I found a couch in the lobby and called my dad.
I knew it had to be one of two things. Either my grandma died or something happened with my sister-in-law (she was pregnant with my nephew then). But right before I called my dad, my brother and sister-in-law texted me to let me know they were having a boy, so I knew it was about my grandma. My dad and I didn’t say much on that call. He said that she passed away that afternoon. My grandma was in her room taking a nap after lunchtime and she passed away in her sleep. It was peaceful and that’s all we could have hoped for. I don’t think she was in any pain at the end of her life. I don’t know how aware she was of most things. I’m just grateful that she wasn’t hurting.
After the call with my dad, I was pretty hysterical. A friend of mine saw me, asked what happened, and went to find some tissues for me. He sat with me for a while until I calmed down a bit. The entire night kind of went that way. I randomly cried a lot. People found out what happened and tried to comfort me. I know I could have gone home and skipped the Gala, but I knew that my grandma would have wanted me to be there. And I didn’t want to go home and be alone. I wanted to be around my friends, and that’s exactly what happened at the Gala.
It was a weird night for sure. I was grieving but also trying to have fun. I didn’t want to be crying as much as I did, but sometimes it just hit me really hard. But I was always around a friend and whoever I was around made sure I was doing ok. I was seriously so grateful to my friends that night because I’m sure it was a bit weird for them too. But nobody made me feel bad about being upset or when I needed a shoulder to cry on.
That night was a bit of a blur for me. I know it’s because my brain was processing so much and I was also worried about how the rest of my family was doing. But I tried to enjoy things as much as possible. That’s why I don’t have a lot of photos from the Gala. I didn’t do a red carpet photo because I was still crying so much. I don’t have a lot of photos with my friends because I was not thinking about it. I took some photos of the awards during the Gala, but that’s about it. The only photo I have with my friends was a photo that my friends dragged me into. But I’m so glad they did that because it is one happy memory I have of that night.
And my smile in that photo is real. I was having a good time at that moment. And I’m glad I have that moment to remember that night by. Not all my memories are sad ones, even though that photo does remind me of some sad things too. But it also reminds me that I have amazing friends who were there for me and made sure that I was ok and had a good time at such a weird moment.
I remember so many things when looking at that photo. Even though I have a few other photos from that night, that one, in particular, is the one that brings so many memories back. I looked at it again on Sunday and took some time to remember my grandma. It was a bit of a sad day because of everything else going on in the world. But I’m glad that when she passed away, I didn’t have to be alone and I was able to be supported by so many people.
Posted onOctober 9, 2020|Comments Off on Another Night Of Debate Watching (or Trying To Have Some Fun With This)
Just like with the Presidental Debate, I had a plan to watch the VP Debate. And my plan was pretty much the same for both debates. I was going to watch it through Crooked Media‘s YouTube channel so I could see their Slack conversation and I had my own FB Messenger group to message with during the debate. I find it so helpful to have people to talk to while watching debates. Sometimes for making jokes and being silly, but sometimes for asking if someone knows if something is true or not.
Also, debates can be frustrating and upsetting, depending on what they may say. If someone is saying a complete lie, it’s hard not to react to it. If someone says something that you know is against everything they said before, you want to call them out. Having people to chat with, even over text, really helps me get out whatever emotions I might feel during the debate.
For the VP Debate, there was a good mix of getting out frustration and telling jokes. Hearing Pence say that Trump has taken this pandemic seriously since January when he was calling it a hoax well beyond then was frustrating. Whenever Pence was asked about his administration, he seemed to ignore that question and just say that the American people are doing the right thing. For example, when he was asked about wearing masks, he didn’t say anything about anyone in the White House wearing masks and only that the people will do the right thing. That’s also ignoring the people claiming that wearing a mask right now violates their rights or is discrimination.
And Pence kept interrupting Harris and the moderator. My messaging group is all women, and we all have experienced men interrupting and talking over us. We were all so frustrated watching it happen. Thank goodness Harris did try to explain that she was speaking so he shouldn’t be interrupting her. But I know that so many women online were posting about how we have experienced this so much and how we wish men wouldn’t do this to us.
Even though there were a lot of things to be frustrated at, I think our message group had a lot of silliness going on too. You have to find comedy in these things otherwise you will be overwhelmed watching them. And there were a lot of moments to laugh at. But nothing was a bigger moment than the fly on Pence’s head.
I don’t know why everyone found the fly so funny, but it became one of the biggest moments of the debate. There were so many jokes being posted and I was enjoying all of them. I kept seeing a lot of posts about how the fly had been on the screen long enough to be eligible for SAG-AFTRA (even though that’s not how it works), and I decided to create something to go with that.
I lucked out that I found an image of a union card that didn’t have a member name or number on it, so it was really easy for me to come up with this tweet.
I posted it in a few places and everyone seemed to get a good laugh out of it. I also saw posts saying that the fly should be up for a SAG Award now or asking if the fly will be in the In Memorium segment at the next SAG Awards since flies don’t live that long. I know that having a fly on someone’s head wasn’t the most important thing we heard, but it was the moment that stuck with most of us and gave so many of us a much-needed laugh.
There is supposed to be another Presidental Debate in a week, but I don’t know if it will be happening. Because Trump was diagnosed with COVID, the group organizing the debates said that they would be doing it virtually for the next one. Trump has said that he will not be participating because the debate is only trying to protect Biden, which they are because Trump shouldn’t be wanting to expose others to this disease. But I know that Trump also changes his mind a lot so even though as I am writing this he says he will not attend and will do a private rally instead, that can change by the time the debate is supposed to happen (or by the time this post goes live).
I don’t know if I hope there will be another debate or not. The last Presidental Debate wasn’t good. There was no information really shared because of how often there were interruptions. It was not a good moment for this country. And I don’t know if any other debates would be better. But if there is another one, at least I have a good system figured out to make them a bit more entertaining.
Posted onOctober 7, 2020|Comments Off on Please Wear A Mask And Stay Home If You Can (or This Shouldn’t Be Political)
When the pandemic started, I think most of us thought that maybe it would take a month or two but that it would be under control quickly. Yes, it was a lot of unknown stuff, but we were being told things to help us try to not get sick. I know that there was confusion at the beginning about if you should wear a mask or not and if this was airborne or on surfaces, but a lot of information hasn’t changed. Yet, here we are, almost 7 months later. And at least in some parts of the country, things have been shut down for that entire time.
I don’t know why this pandemic became a political point. Maybe the president thought it would blow over enough and he wouldn’t have to take a lot of action. Maybe that’s why he was telling people to not worry. I don’t know what he was thinking and I don’t need to know. All I know is that it has become so political and polarized if you believe things are bad or not. And I honestly don’t get it.
There’s no denying in my opinion that there is a pandemic that has killed more people than the standard flu or cold. Over 200,000 people have died. I have not known anyone personally who has died, but I have so many friends who have lost someone. They have lost parents, spouses, kids, family, and co-workers. I have known so many people who have gotten sick and recovered. Some of those people were getting very sick and I worried they wouldn’t make it. Many of them are still dealing with health issues. And we have no clue what the long-term effects will be if you had this at one point or not, even if you had no major symptoms.
What we are being asked to do is to wear a mask when you go out, stay at least 6 feet away from others, and stay home if you don’t have to go out. That’s not a lot. And yes, it is hard to stay home and the boredom and isolation are real. I’m experiencing that so much.
But boredom and isolation are so much better than being sick. My friends who have been sick have shared stories about how they felt. Some of them thought they were dying. Some of them felt like they couldn’t breathe and wondered if they were about to end up on a ventilator. The pain in their bodies that some of them described is worse than anything I have ever experienced, even on my worst pain days. I wouldn’t wish this disease on anyone as it sounds truly horrendous and scary.
And I know the president just said how this was not that bad and we shouldn’t let our lives be taken over by the pandemic. But we don’t know if he’s completely healthy yet. I don’t believe if they have said he has tested negative yet. But keep in mind that the treatment he got was very different from what anyone else can get. He has a full medical staff in his home that monitored him before he went to the hospital. He was taken to the hospital in a helicopter. He was in the hospital for observation and not because he was seriously ill. He was given medications that no other person has gotten for this disease. When he went home, he still has a full medical staff taking care of him. And for all this treatment, he will have no medical bills. That’s not anything that anyone else could have.
I’ve seen so many stories of people who were very ill and turned away from the hospital because they didn’t need to be on a ventilator. There was just no room in the hospital for them or the medical team wanted to only have the sickest people there. They had to go home and either be alone or be with people in their homes who didn’t have medical training and were also terrified of getting sick since they didn’t have the PPE needed to be safe. And even if they were in the hospital, the medications and treatments the president got are not available at all hospitals. Some have said they would have no way to give a patient those medications because they were not available to them. So even if everything the president is saying is true and that this was something very easy for him to recover from, unless you have the same privileges that he has you might have a harder time getting over this.
I wish the president would have said something about how he feels very lucky that he had an easy recovery but he understands that is not the case for everyone. I wish he acknowledged how many people have died because they were sicker than he was or didn’t have the same medical advantages as he did. He seemed to feel like this is nothing and nobody should worry. But from my friends who have had this or have lost someone because of this disease, I know that we should be careful and worried that we might get sick.
Wearing a mask is not a sign you vote for one political party or another. It is a sign that you understand that there is a pandemic and that a mask can protect you and others. You might be asymptomatic and not know you are getting others sick. Or someone else might not know they have it and the mask will protect you. Understanding why some businesses can’t open just yet isn’t saying anything more than that you know that they cannot open and keep their customers and staff healthy and protected. I’m just as frustrated as anyone that things are closed. But I also know that we have ways of slowing down this disease so they can reopen. And all it takes is to wear a mask and stay home when you can.
It’s frustrating to see that the people who are protesting for things to open are the ones who won’t do what it takes to make it happen. But I will still do what I need to do in order to stay healthy and try to slow the spread. And hopefully, others will stop acting like a mask is a political button and will do the same so we can get this under control.
Almost Giving It A Full Try (or Ending Things Early)
