So many people have been putting off things during the pandemic. I’m guilty of that for sure. There are some doctor appointments that I typically do at the end of summer or beginning of fall that I haven’t done yet. Right now, I want to try to avoid going to the hospital if I can. But I also know that putting things off can make any issues worse. People who are putting off their mammograms might not catch breast cancer at the earliest stage. People who are putting off care for on-going conditions might find things getting worse. I’m not putting off anything that is urgent (for example, I was supposed to go to the dermatologist for an annual mole check, but I also haven’t been going outside much this year), but I also know that I can’t put things off forever.
That’s kind of what happened with the dentist. Earlier this year, I was supposed to go in for my cleaning. I have shared several times that I have genetically bad teeth. I can do everything right, but things can still go wrong. I initially put off the appointment because they were closed for everything except emergencies, and my cleaning wasn’t an emergency. When they reopened, I wanted to see how the cases were going before making an appointment (since you can’t wear a mask at the dentist), but then I ended up having an emergency with my crown. So I went in for that to be fixed as well as my cleaning, and I found out things were worse than they normally were for me because I waited a few months for the appointment. It’s not necessarily my fault, but it’s a sign of why I need to keep up with my cleanings on the schedule that I normally have.
So after that last cleaning and major work, I made sure I set up my next cleaning appointment and I told myself I had to keep that appointment unless something really crazy happened. And that appointment was yesterday and I went. When I originally set that appointment, I was hoping I’d be back at work by now. But since I’m not, I was able to change my appointment time to be a bit earlier. That was better for me so there was less time that I was worried about stuff before I went in.
But my panic attacks about the dentist came back yesterday morning. I was a bit surprised by how bad it was. I wasn’t going to cancel the appointment, but I knew things were not going to be easy for me. I was trying to think through why I was so panicked, and I realized that I probably was experiencing my normal panic about the dentist and then had the panic about being somewhere without a mask on top of that. I know my dentist is cleaning their office really well between patients and they are keeping it limited to 1 patient at a time. But it’s still hard to feel calm about being somewhere without a mask right now, especially when there is no distance between me and the dentist (who was in a mask and a face shield). And as soon as I saw the dental chair, things got even worse for me.
The dentist knows how hard being there is for me and she was very patient with me and tried to keep me calm. I asked her to do things a bit out of order and check my teeth for any major issues before anything else because I know that will help bring my panic down. I’m grateful that she did that and she was able to tell me that there was nothing wrong with my teeth or any of my previous dental work and that this would just be a regular cleaning and that’s it.
Things went as well as I could have hoped except for one part of the cleaning. Normally, they use an ultrasonic cleaner to do some of the scraping work. That makes it go by so much faster and it’s much easier on me. You don’t feel the same tugging on your teeth with that cleaner and in my head, it’s less stressful on my teeth (I have no clue if that’s true or not). But because 0f the way that cleaner works, it can create an aerosol mist/spray that might have some saliva in it. So it’s not safe right now to use that. So the dentist had to use the regular scraper, which I hate and I ended up needing a few breaks during the cleaning to get my breathing back under control.
I’m sure I sound super dramatic about this all, but it’s hard when you know you have to go somewhere that makes you so nervous and panicky. But I know I have to do this in order to not make things worse for me. And in under an hour, I was done with the appointment with clean teeth and no more feeling of doom and dread.
My next dentist appointment is in 4 months, which is my normal schedule. Again, I’m hoping that maybe things will be a bit more normal by then, but I’m also realistic that it might be just like it is now. Hopefully when I go in, I’ll be a bit more prepared for both the dentist and being without a mask. But if not, I will just have to keep reminding myself that I will be ok and that it’s a minor blip in my day that will be done quickly.
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