Category Archives: Health

It’s Not Really A Transformation Challenge Fail (or Trying To Be Less Competitive With Myself)

Posted on April 6, 2018 | Comments Off on It’s Not Really A Transformation Challenge Fail (or Trying To Be Less Competitive With Myself)

I wrote previously about how I had signed up for the Transformation Challenge at Orangetheory but how I was debating about continuing it. I was at a pretty low point with my weight loss journey where I had been taking on lots of water weight and my body was puffing up. I was thinking about going to get some blood work done to see if it was my thyroid, but many of the symptoms I experienced (feeling cold, more hair loss than normal, the water weight gain) finally started to go away so I’ve postponed going to the doctor.

But because I was dealing with those medical issues, I pretty much gave up on the transformation challenge. I was feeling a bit depressed about how high the number on the scale was even though I knew that it wasn’t all “real” weight. But when you are a part of a transformation challenge that is based on weight loss, there’s no way to determine what weight I might have lost when the scale is actually higher than where I started.

I’m so competitive with myself and I thought it would be difficult to give up on this challenge. But the timing worked out well for me because the last part of the challenge was when I already started working out at the Culver City studio. And that studio wasn’t doing the challenge (new studios don’t do challenges right away) so I wasn’t facing it all the time and that helped keep it out of my mind. In fact, when the final weigh-ins happened for this challenge, I wasn’t at the Brentwood studio any of those days. I could have gone in just to weigh in, but I didn’t worry about it. And the staff there understood my reason and nobody there made me feel bad about it.

Of course, even though others didn’t make me feel bad about it, I still did. I know that I didn’t do anything wrong necessarily, but I still blame myself a little bit. And I would have loved to have won or placed in the challenge because I could always use that boost of confidence. But this time just wasn’t my time and I am working on understanding that. My stubbornness and competitiveness can be good things, but they can also cause me to be upset when there is no reason for me to feel that way.

So while I am feeling a bit down about not completing (or kicking butt in) a challenge, I am trying to think about what various therapists have said to me and focus on the positives. I knew that I wasn’t in the best place mentally or physically and made the smart decision to not continue the challenge. I think that if I did continue the stress may have made a lot of the symptoms I was experiencing worse. I also didn’t use the setback as an excuse to not work as hard. In fact, I think I was working harder to prove to myself that I wasn’t giving up in general but just giving up on this temporary challenge.

Being kind and gentle to myself isn’t something that comes naturally to me. It’s a skill that I’ve been working on for so long and it may be a struggle the rest of my life. Whenever something doesn’t go my way or the way I hoped, I automatically assume it is my fault or I was not worthy of something. It’s rarely the case that it is and I want to try to work on not having the negative reaction as my default. I’ve had enough good stuff happen to me that I should believe that I deserve good and I don’t deserve the bad, but as I’ve said before I think some of the things I heard as a child are just stuck in my mind and will always be demons I need to fight.

But for now, I’m not mad at myself for not completing the challenge. And for me, not being mad is a pretty big victory. And I am choosing to focus on that victory as the big win I had for this transformation challenge.

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Default ThumbnailAnother Weight Loss Challenge (or Getting Back On Track) Default ThumbnailWeight Loss Challenge Time (or Not Worrying About Winning) Default ThumbnailDoing A Transformation Challenge (or Maybe I Need To Change Things Up) Default ThumbnailSkipping A Transformation Challenge (or This Was An Easy Choice For Me) Default ThumbnailGetting Weighed In (or A New Orangetheory Challenge) Default ThumbnailEnding My Challenge Early (or I Guess I Made A Mistake)

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A Quick Vyvanse Update (or I Guess Forgetting Helps Time Pass)

Posted on March 30, 2018 | 1 comment

I’ve been on my new dosage of Vyvanse for a couple of months now. Even though I built in a transition period to the new dosage (as well as taking all my medication in the morning instead of splitting it up), I struggled for a long time with the dosage. I was feeling some similar symptoms to what I had when I started like a racing heart rate and some light-headedness. And when I had the phone call check up with my therapist, we discussed these issues since I was feeling a bit concerned.

My therapist encouraged me to keep taking the new dosage because I might just be having a longer adjustment period than I’m used to. While I’d like to say that I trusted her opinion, I felt pretty certain that she was wrong and I would need to go back to a lower dose. But I told her that I would give it until I needed to refill my prescription before I judged anything too much. I wasn’t that far into my prescription when I had that phone call, but I also knew that there could be an adjustment period and I had to see what would happen. Because I am monitored while taking Vyvanse, I knew that even with the side effects I might be feeling I wasn’t doing anything harmful to my body. I just had to see if things would eventually feel right again with me.

The other day I finished the first pill bottle and moved on to the second (my prescription is split into 2 bottles because of how many pills there are in a single refill) and I realized that I’m halfway through trying this dose before needing a refill. And I haven’t had any side effects for a little while either. It’s so weird because I really can’t remember the last time I felt my heart race issues unless I look at my workout blog posts and see when I wrote about it. Time just kind of went by and I didn’t even think about it.

I do think that maybe some of this could be because I’m not working out in the afternoons anymore, but at the same time that doesn’t necessarily make sense because I take my medication in the morning. But maybe since those morning workouts are even earlier, the medication might not be totally in my system yet? I don’t know and I also don’t know why I’m trying to justify anything. I should just be really happy that I’m feeling more normal again.

I think I was so focused on the side effects for so long because I was paranoid that I really didn’t think as much about how much this might be helping me. Of course, I am reminded of that whenever I have a day I don’t take it (like if I have the rare chance to sleep in). It does take the edge off of things and I still have days where food is the last thing on my mind. I struggle on those days to remember to eat even though I do have reminders to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But it’s all baby steps and I’m working on it.

I’m really so happy that the adjustment period seems to be over now. I didn’t express on here how worried I was about it and how often I wondered if I was making a mistake changing things up the way I did. I had so much trust in my old therapist and it was tough to give that much trust to someone new. And having issues with my medications was making that trust even tougher for me to give. But even without fully trusting my doctor, I had to just suck it up and believe that eventually it would get better and she knows what is possibly best for me.

Thankfully now I know that she was right (even though she was willing to admit if she was wrong and readjust things for me if needed) and that I’m over the hump I was dealing with. I want to get back to trying to run but I also know that I’ve lost so much progress over the past few months. I probably will need to start over with my running with running for 30 seconds to a minute at a time. But I know that I have built up my running endurance in the past and I’ll be able to get back there again eventually. And hopefully with the stress of the side effects out of my mind now, I can focus on other things in my life. There are more important and more fun things I’d like to have occupying my mind and now I can do that again without feeling like I’m being fake and ignoring a possible issue.

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Struggling Sucks (or Thank Goodness It Was A Short Workout Week)

Posted on March 5, 2018 | Comments Off on Struggling Sucks (or Thank Goodness It Was A Short Workout Week)

This past week of workouts wasn’t that great for me. I wish I could put a more positive spin on things, but that really is the truth for me. And I’m not one to sugarcoat the truth. I’ve been struggling a lot lately, but this past week took things to a new level and I really wasn’t mentally prepared for it. I had one ok day, one horrible day, and one bad day. Not what I was hoping, but that’s the week that I had.

I didn’t have a workout on Monday because I was in Palm Springs, so I only had 3 workouts this past week. But that ended up being for the best for me. Wednesday was a power day and it wasn’t too bad. I think I lucked out because we were switching between blocks and it was more like a 3 group workout than a 2 group workout. So we never really spent that long in one section of the room. The first round was 3 minutes at each section, the second round was 5 minutes at each section, and the last round was 3 minutes at each section.

For the treadmill, it was pretty much push paces and push to all out paces. I walked everything and was able to do my normal speed and inclines which really surprised me. I thought since I missed my Monday workout it would have been much worse, but maybe doing my hiking helped me not feel too bad. On the rower we had 2 rounds of distance rows with lunges between and one round of counting pulls for the rowing. For counting pulls, we were counting for 200 and 100 meters. The goal for 200 is under 20 pulls, but because I’ve been working on taking my time with these challenges I managed to do it in 13 pulls! And on the floor we had burpees, crunches, hop overs, skier swings, and sit ups.

Friday’s workout was just bad for me. I was dealing with pain and nausea and even though I took my medications right before class they weren’t helping. I thought I could do the treadmill since it was a power day, but after the warmup I was feeling so nauseous that I got off and got on the bike. I’m glad I’ve figured out that being on the bike helps keep some of the nausea away (walking is just too bouncy for me when I feel bad), but it’s still a little bit of a disappointment when I can’t use the treadmill. I’m working on getting out of that mindset, but I think the way I was feeling physically was affecting my mental state.

We had 4 blocks for cardio but we didn’t switch between blocks so we were on it for the first half of class. The first 3 blocks were push paces and push to all out paces. I really worked on my cadence with the bike and trying to work on increasing my gears for the push and all out paces. I did have to take breaks from time to time because of the nausea, but I managed to get through most of the workout on the bike just fine.

On the floor, we had 1 long block that was all Bosu and rowing work. We had pop jacks, sit ups, hop overs, back extensions, lunges, and side crunches all using the Bosu. Those were split into 3 sections and between each section we had a 250 meter row. I really had to take my time with the Bosu work, especially when there were exercises that went from standing to sitting or laying down. My stomach wasn’t doing ok with moving like that so I had to take breaks and go easy. With the rowing, the first time I was on the rower it took 2:21 to row (it should be around 2:15). The second time I rowed it was 2:16. And the last time I rowed it was 2:11. To improve with each row is good and I’m glad I finally got it under the time we were supposed to be within. But again, my nausea was kicking up a lot and before and after each row I had to focus on breathing and trying to feel better.

Saturday’s workout was one that I was very nervous for. I was still feeling pretty horrible (I had some blackout cramps before my workout) and I knew it was going to be a partner workout. I usually love partner workouts because it helps keep me motivated and I want to make sure that my partner isn’t waiting on me to finish so we can switch. But since I was feeling so badly, I didn’t want to let my partners down. When I got to class, it was a 3 group partner workout and it turned out that technically no partner was going to be responsible for the switch on their own.

We had 3 blocks that were each 13 minutes long. And in each block we rotated between the treadmill, rower, and floor. And the switch was determined by whichever of the 3 of us was finished with the work first. So even if I never finished first, my team wasn’t going to be stuck waiting on me. That was a big relief.

I used the bike again instead of the treadmill but I was able to use the rower and could do the floor work. The cardio was all short intervals (some of it was on an incline on the treadmills) and I was usually able to get the bike work done in about 3 minutes. On the rower, we had rows that were between 200-600 meters. And on the floor, it was the same work each block but we changed the number of reps each time. We had lunges, squats, crunches, and plank punches.

Even though I didn’t have to worry about my partners waiting on me, I didn’t want to be too slow with my work. And a few times I was actually the person that initiated the switch. I tried to take my breaks on the floor since that section was repeating each block, but there were a few times I had to stop on the bike to let the wave of nausea pass. It’s sad that I’m getting used to dealing with this, but since it’s possibly going to be like this for a long time I guess it’s a good thing that I’m learning to manage.

Overall, while this wasn’t a great workout week for me it was better than not showing up. It sucks to struggle and to feel like you can’t do anything to fix it, but I’m proud of myself for at least going to class. Working out won’t make things worse (except maybe walking making my nausea worse) and there is always a chance that it could be better after a workout. So I have to take the chance to see if it will help and if not, at least I’m keeping my commitment to myself to do at least 3 workouts each week.

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Default ThumbnailAn Off Workout Week (or Just Trying To Do My Best) Default ThumbnailAn Up And Down Workout Week (or I Love Having Workout Buddies) Default ThumbnailA Very Short Workout Week (or Having Some Sick Days) Default ThumbnailA Short Workout Week (or I Would Have Ended On A High Note) Default ThumbnailShort and Sweet Workout Week (or Taking It A Bit Easy) Default ThumbnailAnother Short Workout Week (or Still Can’t Believe My Milestone)

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Getting Back To Stretching (or My Body Is Telling Me What Monthly Challenge To Do)

Posted on March 1, 2018 | 1 comment

The first two months of 2018, I had some abstract monthly challenges. I’m so glad that I did those challenges because they have been so beneficial for me. But I’m getting back to more concrete challenges now. But first, a quick recap on last month’s challenge.

In February, I challenged myself to work on not saying “sorry” as often, especially when there is usually a better and more appropriate thing to say since I don’t need to apologize. I normally say sorry instead of excuse me, like when I’m trying to get past someone at a store or when I am trying to get someone’s attention. It’s a habit that I have been wanting to break but it’s difficult because I’ve been doing it for so long.

I don’t know if I haven’t had as many opportunities when I usually would say sorry or if I haven’t been saying it as much for a while, but I was surprised when I noticed how easily this change was. I wasn’t finding myself saying sorry and then thinking I should have said something else that often. Mainly, I thought about it at stores trying to get past someone and I was very conscious of trying to say excuse me instead.

I’m sure that this will be something I need to think about a lot in the future to make sure I don’t slip into the habit again. But it just surprised me that I didn’t really have that many times that I said sorry in the past month. It was weird. But I also thought that it could have to do with my challenge from January when I worked on being a bit selfish. I’ve been putting myself first when I can and I think that has just given me more confidence. So maybe having that confidence stopped my habit of saying sorry earlier than I thought.

Since I have been focused on mental and abstract challenges, I really wanted to get back to a physical one for March. There were a few ideas that I was thinking about, but one thing was sticking out for me. I’ve always been a very flexible person, but I’ve noticed that my flexibility has been getting worse lately. I’m still more flexible than many people, but there is a noticeable difference. Also, I’ve been waking up with more muscle pain than I’m used to.

This could be attributed to a few things. I have been working out a lot and haven’t been doing the yoga that I was doing previously. Or it could be due to me getting older and needing to take more care of my body. Either way, I want to gain flexibility back and to help keep my body healthy.

I thought of a few things of what I could do to help gain my flexibility. I debated about doing another yoga challenge but that didn’t feel right to me. And I looked at a few different fitness related challenges but those didn’t seem to be what I needed. And finally, I found the idea of doing a stretching challenge and that seemed perfect to me! Stretching would be a good thing for me to do no matter what as it can help get my body moving throughout the day. I don’t move a ton while I’m working (I walk from my bed to my desk and then I’m sitting down) so getting in a stretch either before or after I’m done working would really help.

I looked into a few stretching ideas, and I found an app that I’m going to try out. It has 9 different stretches that it guides you through and each stretch lasts 30 seconds. So it will only take about 5 minutes for me to do the full circuit and that’s not too bad. And if that app doesn’t seem to be right, there are a ton of other options for me to find stretching routines to use. No matter what, I want to get stretching into my daily routine because I know my body needs it.

I’m not expecting this stretching to necessarily get my flexibility back. There are some specific things with flexibility that I know I want to work on and I will be working on those separately. I used to be able to do the splits easily. I can still do them, but I have to work much harder at it. I also can still reach my toes when I stretch, but in the past I could get my hands beyond my feet. That would be nice to be able to do again too. But for this month, I really want to work on general flexibility first and then start looking into more specific things. And even if I don’t regain all my flexibility back, I know that I will be helping my body and it will be good to have a little extra movement in my day when I know that it’s lacking.

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Doing A Transformation Challenge (or Maybe I Need To Change Things Up)

Posted on February 20, 2018 | 1 comment

I’m currently in the middle of a transformation challenge at Orangetheory. This time, the challenge is 8 weeks long instead of 6 weeks and it is the same as how the weight loss challenges worked. You have to work out a minimum of 3 days a week during the challenge and there are official weigh-ins at the beginning, middle, and end of the challenge. Sometimes the winners are based on fat percentage lost, but I think this challenge is based on weight loss (I’m not 100% sure).

I pretty much always sign up for challenges. Most of the time it’s pretty much what I would be doing normally and there is the potential to win. I was in 2nd place during one challenge. And I love having a goal in mind to work toward and having the support of others. Whenever there is a challenge there is always some camaraderie between those in the challenge and we encourage each other.

But this challenge things seem to be different for me. I still get the camaraderie between people in the challenge and I love to support others who are doing in. But my heart doesn’t seem to be in it this time.

I’m definitely struggling with food and weight loss right now. My new medication dosage is helping a lot, but there are other factors I have to consider now. I do still have binge episodes even though they are less severe and less frequent that before. But I also am not able to work out as hard as I used to because of the medication. Also, while I am adjusting to things I am being a bit easier on myself and indulging from time to time on foods I love. I’m not necessarily going crazy, but I’m not on a strict plan either like I have tried during other challenges.

I’m also dealing with massive weight fluctuations right now. I’m guessing these have to do with hormones but I had one week were my weight went up almost 20 pounds and then I went pretty much back down to where I was. That is frustrating when I am trying to see if I have made any progress. And when I try to use things that aren’t the scale to see progress, like clothing, I have issues when I am bloating and none of my clothes fit. I wanted to have a breakdown the other day when everything in my closet was too small even though I know it shouldn’t be that way. But then a few days later the bloat went away and everything fit again.

I don’t think it is bad for my mental health to be in this challenge, but it can’t be great that I am currently focused so much on the challenge. If I just tried my best and wasn’t focused on numbers and food, I think I would be a lot happier. And now that I’m halfway done with this challenge, I think that’s exactly what I’m going to try to do. I will still track food like I have in the past because the way I track food isn’t numbers-based. And I’m still going to make my best efforts to do what I know I should be doing.

But at the same time, I’m not going to be tracking my weight anymore. I’m taking a vacation from the scale. This will only be a temporary vacation because I do like having the scale to help keep me accountable, but right now I don’t think it is the best thing for me. If I feel like I need to step on the scale to see what it says, I will do it. But I’m not going to obsess about weighing myself every day and tracking it. Eventually I will be tracking my weight again, but I think I want to start over with a fresh slate on weight tracking so I don’t see the recent fluctuations.

I really doubt this plan will help me win the transformation challenge, but that’s not really a focus of mine. The only time I thought I might win is when I was doing the cleanse at the same time as the challenge. That was awesome and I’m glad I did it, but I can’t put myself into that same obsessive mindset again. There are so many other things I need to focus on right now outside of this challenge and I need the mental freedom to do so. And if I happen to place in this challenge, that would be awesome. But I think I’ll be much happier assuming I won’t place and just seeing what I can do over these last 4 weeks.

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An Easy Therapist Check-In (or Virtual Appointments Make Things Easier)

Posted on February 8, 2018 | 1 comment

Yesterday I had a check-in with my new therapist. This check-in was mainly to see how I was doing with the new medication dosage. I explained how I had been taking the increases slowly and that I am still adjusting to the new dosage, and she seemed to be pretty happy with the plan. It’s hard to tell what the correct dosage will be, so it will be a lot of trial and error. This is a different process than what I was doing with my old therapist, but I do like this new plan. I feel like it is more collaborative and that we are more of a team than a doctor telling me what to do.

This appointment was so much easier than what I’m used to because it was a phone call appointment. Yesterday morning, we had a time that my therapist was going to call me and we were going to talk over how things went. Of course, if I felt like I needed to meet in person I could have done that. But my therapist suggested a phone appointment for a check-in because it is easier to schedule and wouldn’t take up as much of my time. It was nice not having to drive to and from the appointments and being able to get it done early in the morning before I started work. I felt much more relaxed while talking because it didn’t feel as formal.

I don’t know why my old therapist never suggested phone appointments. I know that with him, he was much more into seeing if there was any more talk therapy that I wanted to do. Even though we came to the conclusion that I don’t really have issues to work through, I just have some sucky circumstances that I need to not rule my life. But those circumstances aren’t things I need to figure out, we know what they are and what they are doing to my mind. But he still liked to talk things through much more than this new therapist. This new therapist understands that in a way I only go in for appointments because I’m on a medication that requires it. She understands that talk therapy might be something I want in the future, but right now it’s not the priority in getting me into recovery. It’s a very different mindset, but I’m glad I had my old therapist in the beginning and this new therapist now.

In my phone call, I did discuss my issues with my workouts. It is frustrating to not be able to do cardio the way I want to, but I also need to give myself a decent amount of time to adjust to things. We did discuss brining my medication back down to a lower dosage (either what I started on or the middle dosage I was doing), but we both agreed that I haven’t had enough time yet on this new dosage to see if it will allow my workouts to get back to normal. I do like how I am feeling on this new dose and I feel like the medication is working much better, so I want to give it as much of a chance as possible. And I do have options if I need them and those won’t be going away so I can take my time.

My next medication refill will be in about 2 months. I will need to call or email my therapist to request the refill due to the restrictions on the medication. And at that point I think I will know what dosage I want to be on. And my therapist seems to agree that the timeline sounds good to her too. Of course, if in 2 weeks I feel like I need to step down to a lower dose, I can call in and she can write me a new prescription. But my plan is to try to take the next 2 months to see how I feel in all aspects of my life. If my eating disorder is significantly better but I can’t run, that might be a sacrifice I want to make. While my workouts are important, my recovery is more important and the priority in my life.

For my first phone appointment, I think it went really well and it reinforced the idea in my head that this is the therapist that I need now. She is much more scientific about things and that is really what works for me right now. My next appointment with my therapist (not counting in 2 months when I get my medication refill) will be in 6 months. I’m on the same appointment timeline as I was in the past, which is nice since I wasn’t sure it would be that way with a new doctor. But the next appointment is going to be unique because it’s going to be my first time ever doing a video chat appointment with a doctor! I’m actually pretty excited to have that option too because again it will save me the time of driving back and forth!

I know that not everyone likes technology, but I love that I have options to do virtual appointments with my therapist! It really helps to make appointments fit into my schedule better and I think that it will give me more options for when I can make appointments in the future. All of these things are good things and make me really hopeful that I’m on the right path toward recovery!

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Fitness and Nutrition (or Reminding Myself Of The Basics)

Posted on February 6, 2018 | Comments Off on Fitness and Nutrition (or Reminding Myself Of The Basics)

About 2 months ago, I shared how I was invited to be a part of the Runner’s Fit and Fueled course. I was so excited to be starting my year off the right way and to learn more about proper nutrition when it comes to fitness. I have studied nutrition a lot (many people with eating disorders know a ton about nutrition and food) but I was worried about how I would do when my fitness level was likely lower than what the others in the group were at.

But now that the official course time is over, I can say that I had nothing to worry about! The others in our private Facebook group were very supportive and most of the focus was on nutrition and not fitness. That was a big relief because I didn’t want to feel like I couldn’t do what was being taught because of my fitness level.

And I had every intention of doing this 4 week course exactly as it was set out and reading each of the lessons and watching the videos as soon as they came out. But of course, best intentions don’t always happen that way. Life took over and I wasn’t able to do the 4 week course when it was all released. I was feeling a bit frustrated because I wanted to do this as my first month of the year, but if I had done that I wouldn’t have been able to give it my full attention and I knew that I needed to do that.

Fortunately, this course wasn’t restricted to just the 4 weeks that it was happening. The Facebook group is still there and I can view any of the videos whenever I want. And I know that I will be wanting to go back to the videos a few times because I know that things will connect with me at different times. And I have all the handouts downloaded on my computer as well. And I have a feeling those handouts are going to be something I use for a while.

What I loved about the way this was taught was something I wasn’t expecting. Because this is a course for runners, there are days that are your hard run days and days that are your easy run days. And of course you also have rest days. And the nutrition was broken down into what to eat for each of those days to maximize what you are doing. For example, what to eat before and after a long run to help your body work at its most efficient. Or what to eat on a rest day to not mess up all the hard work that you put into things on the other days.

While I don’t necessarily have hard or easy run days, I do have days where I have a workout and days when I don’t. And I can look at workout days as hard days and days off as easy or rest days. Each of those types of days has sample meal plans to use with different options. And as someone who struggles with meal planning, this is an amazing resource for me! Some of the things in the meal plan are things I already eat, some are things I have eaten in the past and kind of forgotten about, and others are things I wouldn’t think of as a meal option. So I’ve been going through the meal plans and seeing the best way to implement them in my life.

While the plan has some elements of carb cycling, it’s not necessarily that. It’s more about eating what will make your body work the most efficient way possible and making sure that all your nutrition needs are met. There are so many diet ideas out right now and I’ve been checking out a few of them. But it’s been overwhelming. The Runner’s Fit and Fueled course seems to be more about the idea of getting back to good and wholesome foods and not fitting into a certain diet plan or hitting certain macros each day.

I know that I’m going to keep referring back to everything in this course for a while. While it may seem like basic nutritional information, for me it was almost a reminder that sometimes a meal plan doesn’t need to be something crazy or elaborate. It can just be filled with good options that will help you work out and keep you full. I don’t need to stress about getting into a certain mindset or tracking things like crazy. I just need to get back to basics and make sure that I pay attention to what my body is saying.

If you are interested in doing this course (and I recommend it for anyone who has a regular fitness routine), there will be another round starting on March 5th. I feel like this course really did help me get into a better mindset about what I want to do with food and how I feel about fueling myself. And I hope that if any of you are looking to learn more about nutrition and how it affects how you work out that you will sign up! And you can use the promo code BOMBSHELL to get $5 off!

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Default ThumbnailRunner’s Fit And Fueled Course (or Planning On Starting 2018 The Right Way) Default ThumbnailMy Fit Foods (or Looking At Some Post Cleanse Options) Default ThumbnailWhat Fitness Goals Are Next? (or Continuing To Impress Myself) Default Thumbnail3 Workouts In A Row (or Using Fitness To Beat A Cold) Default ThumbnailIt’s A Fitness Challenge (or Being Calm and Plank Time) Default ThumbnailActing Like A Duck (or Reminding Myself That Positivity Is Important)

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Still Managing My Expectations (or Still Able To Surprise Myself)

Posted on February 5, 2018 | Comments Off on Still Managing My Expectations (or Still Able To Surprise Myself)

It was another workout week of needing to take things a bit easier. It is frustrating because I will feel so ready to be pushing myself when I walk into the workout and then as soon as I start it I feel like I can’t do it. This is something I do need to talk to my doctor about when we have our phone call because I don’t know if maybe I do need to go back to a slightly lower dose. I don’t want to have to struggle with my workouts like this for a long time because I can feel my progress slipping, especially with my running. But even with those issues, I did still manage to kick some butt this past week.

Monday was an endurance based workout. I had to start on the rower and I knew it would be a tough workout because it was my first morning workout on the new dosage. The rower I was on was acting up (for example it said I did under 200 meters in 3 minutes when it should have been more like 600 meters), but that might have been the best for me. I knew I was struggling on the rower and not knowing how much I was really struggling was helping me not feel as horrible about it. We had timed and distance rows, but for the distance rows I just rowed for the time it should take me to complete them. For example, the 200 meter row would have been probably about 3.5 minutes according to the glitchy rower, but normally that takes me about a minute. So I rowed for a minute.

Next I was on the floor. The first block was a pretty standard block. We had deadlifts, pull overs, and single arm rows using the weights. But the second block was when things got interesting. Orangetheory just started using strength bands in the workouts and Monday’s workout was the introduction of them.

I’ve used workout bands in the past, but not anytime recently and my experience with them was limited. For this workout, we had weighted squats, squat walks, and ab twists using the bands. I struggled with the bands, especially getting them on me without them twisting and feeling uncomfortable. I figured out that I could use them lower on my legs (which would make it a big harder, but that could be good) and I wouldn’t have struggled as much. But I tried my best and I’m looking forward to using the bands again.

And I was on cardio last and I was feeling pretty exhausted by then. I also knew I’d be going to Disneyland after the workout so I stuck with being on the bike. I’m glad I went with the bike because we had 5 minute distance challenges. If I was on the treadmill, I probably would have tried to run and possibly hurt myself. But since I don’t really have an idea of what I can do in 5 minutes on the bike, the pressure was off a bit. For the first distance challenge I did 2 miles on the bike and for the second one I did 2.1 miles so I was happy with the small improvement between the two attempts.

Wednesday’s workout was a power day. It was a bit frustrating to still not be able to run especially because when I got to class I was so sure I’d be working on running. But even walking was getting my heart rate up pretty high so I had to stick with walking. All the blocks were 4.5 minutes long and they were all pretty much the same pattern with a push pace, base pace, and push to all out pace. I was doing my normal walking speed and inclines and I tried not to focus on my desire to run. By the way, the fact that I have a desire to run is still a bit of a novelty for me and I think it’s pretty funny.

Things were more back to normal when I was on the floor. Again, all the blocks were 4.5 minutes long so things moved pretty quickly. The first block was full thrusters using weights and plank low rows using weights. The second block was snatches with weights and plank Spiderman. The third block was the toughest for me because it had full burpees but the other move was squat reverse fly with weights which was a nice break from burpees. And the last block was rounds of 100 meter rows with skier swings. With the rowing, I was able to get my wattage up pretty high, but I still couldn’t PR which was a bit frustrating. You’d think by having the best wattage on the rower I would get a better time, but it wasn’t happening that day.

Friday’s workout was a struggle for so many reasons that I’m just glad I survived. First, I was still dealing with adjusting to the new medication dosage. Also, I was dealing with horrible craps and nausea. And finally I ate too much at lunch that day (my friend Dani brought sandwiches over and we were hanging out before the workout). All of those things combined just made the day so difficult. It was an endurance day and I really didn’t think much about it. I just tried to get through it. There were 3 blocks on the treadmill and they all had longer push paces with going back to base paces. I was able to do my normal speed and inclines, but I did have to take a ton of breaks in the middle of each block.

On the floor the first block was a longer one. We started with an 800 meter row (I was done in just under 4 minutes) and then we had a bunch of exercises. Those included chest presses on the straps, lateral lunges, side plank leg raises, and sit-ups. Then it was a 400 meter row and the same exercises again. I was just getting through the exercises again before time on that block was done. Then we had a quick block with static lunges, bicep curls on the straps, and bicycle curls. The floor work was a bit better for me than the treadmill, but it was still a bit of a struggle.

Saturday’s workout was an endurance, strength, and power workout and it was a 3 group workout as well. I was still feeling off when I got to the class, so I used the bike instead of the treadmill. Each block started with a longer push pace and then had decreasing push paces with base paces in-between. With the bike, I’m not as familiar with my abilities (although I should be) so I don’t know if I was doing more than I normally could. I was getting my heart rate up and I was sweating, so I figured that was pretty good.

Next I was on the rower. We started with a longer row and then we had sprint rows with medicine ball squats in-between. We were doing 100 meter sprints and I decided to see if I could PR. I hadn’t checked my records before class, but I was pretty sure I knew what my best was. I had my coach stand on my rower (sometimes when you go really hard the rower can jump a bit) and I rowed what felt like the hardest I had ever rowed. I was really disappointed when I was done because I was sure it wasn’t a PR. But I knew it was my best average wattage for a 100 meter row so I took a photo of it for my records.

To my surprise, when I got home and checked my records, I actually did PR! I took 4/10ths of a second off of my 100 meter row! I wish I had known that in class because I think I would have been happier with things instead of feeling annoyed that I couldn’t PR even with trying the hardest I could. I’m glad the hard work did pay off though! And I finished up on the floor where the first block was clean to press with weights, triceps with weights, and half squat swings. And the last block was a core blast with sit-ups and superman extensions.

I know I’ve said this the past month or so, but I don’t know how much longer I will need in this adjustment period. I know that my workouts are suffering a bit because of this but it will be worth it in the end. I’m working on my patience with myself and it does seem like it’s paying off in my strength and rowing work. And hopefully soon enough it will be paying off in my cardio and I’ll be back to running.

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Default ThumbnailBack To Balancing (or A Pretty Routine Workout Week) Default ThumbnailRunning And Walking (or Accepting My Limits) Default ThumbnailA Week Of Walking and Biking (or Getting Through Some Low-Key Workouts) Default ThumbnailMaybe Not That Much Running (or Training For Thanksgiving) Default ThumbnailManaging My Setbacks (or Taking My Time With Adjustments) Default ThumbnailMy First Dri-Tri (or Beating My Expectations)

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Another Week Of Taking It Easy (or Feeling Strong While Not Working As Hard)

Posted on January 29, 2018 | 1 comment

Even though I’m continuing to increase my medication and it’s affecting my workouts, I’m starting to get used to having to be a bit easier on myself. It’s not easy to do it because I always do want to push myself, but I’m more accepting that this is a temporary issue and that I’ll be done with increasing my medications soon and I’ll get used to this new dosage.

Monday was a bit of a tough workout for me. It was the first time on the increased dosage that I had a morning workout (which meant I worked out about 90 minutes after taking my medications) and I really felt it. It was a strength based workout so I was fine with walking on the treadmill. And since it was a 3 group class, I was only on the treadmill for about 1/3 of the class and not 1/2 of the class. I was able to do my normal speed and kept my inclines at my normal inclines. I did have to take more breaks than normal, but overall I was pretty happy with myself.

On the rower the first block was decreasing rows starting at 500 meters with bicep curls using the rower between each round. My times were never that great, but they weren’t that horrible. I did have to take some breaks on this rowing block because of my heart rate going up too high, but it wasn’t anything unmanageable. The second block on the rower followed the same pattern as the second block on the treadmill with doing base, push, and all out paces. The idea was to not stop rowing for the entire block (which was about 5 minutes) and to get to 1100 meters. By the end of the block, I was just at 1100 meters. And on the floor we had squats with weights, triceps with weights, knee tucks using the ab dolly, lunges with weights, hamstring work, and roll outs on the ab dolly.

Wednesday was the first day on a higher dosage of Vyvanse (and what should be the dosage I’m sticking with so hopefully the last increase). It was difficult being on the higher dosage and my body felt it. I dealt with a little bit of light-headedness (I don’t think I drank enough water before class either) and my heart rate was getting super high. I knew that this would happen on the first day of the new dosage but expecting it didn’t stop me from being a bit frustrated at times that I wished I could be doing more. The treadmill format would have been a good one for me to do some running in normal circumstances, but I had to stick with walking. I did my normal speed but only used 4% and 6% inclines.

The floor was one long block. We had sumo squats, skier swings, triceps on the straps, push up to plank jacks, and knee tucks. And after doing all of that we had rowing. The first row was 1200 meters and I managed to do it in 5:45 and didn’t have to take any breaks. That seemed like a huge accomplishment considering how I was feeling. I then had the second round of the moves on floor and then a 600 meter row. This was at the very end of class and my rowing wasn’t my normal speed or intensity. I had to take a few breaks and just as I finished the row class ended so I never made it to a third round on the floor.

Friday ended up being a much better day than Wednesday. I was feeling more adjusted to the new dosage and the workout was a partner day so that helped to keep me motivated and focused. My friend Grace was in class that day so she was my partner. It had a bit of an odd format, but I liked it. Blocks 1 and 2 were the exact same thing. One partner was on the rower and one was on the treadmill. The person who started on the treadmill was the pace setter and did .25 miles on the treadmill (I walked so I did .13 miles) and then tagged the person on the rower. Then they rowed 400 meters and tagged the person on the treadmill. The other partner just ran and rowed for distance. One of us was the pace setter for the first block and the other was the pace setter for the second block.

After those blocks, we had the last block that lasted about half of class. It was a bit more complicated but basically the partner on the treadmill or rower was the pace setter while the other partner on the floor did exercises until they were tagged (so we rotated throughout the block who set the pace). The floor exercises were squat thrusters, upright rows, froggers, high rows on the straps, and mountain climbers. The pacer had .5 miles on the treadmill to start (I walked .25 miles). The next round was 800 meters on the rower. And the last round was .16 miles on the treadmill (.08 for me) and a 260 meter row. Grace and I each were able to complete all the cardio portions before time was called which was awesome! I didn’t want to be the slacker partner and I think that I was able to hold my own.

Saturday’s workout was a bit more like Wednesday’s. I was struggling a bit with the medication dosage and I felt it in the workout. So I just took things nice and easy and did my best. And it helped again that it was a 3 group class. I started on the treadmill where we had rounds of push paces that decreased as the block went on. I was at my normal speed and used all my normal inclines. I was tempted a few times to try running for the 30 second all out paces, but I knew that this was just the beginning of the workout and I didn’t want to overdo it.

Next I was on the floor where we had 2 blocks. The first block was weighted lunges, plank work, good mornings to tricep kickbacks with weights, and pop jacks. The second block had squat jumps, side plank hip dips, squat jacks, and sit ups. And I was on the rower last where we started with a 200 meter row followed by 10 squat jacks. Then it was a 30 second all out row followed by 10 squat jacks. Then 15 pulls on the rower followed by 10 squat jacks. Then we started back at the top again with the 200 meter row but had 15 squat jacks between each rowing segment. I took quite a few breaks and none of my rowing was what I know I could do, but it was the end of the workout plus I was dealing with everything else.

I’ve debated if I should have gone down to 3 workouts a week instead of 4 while I was adjusting to new medication dosages, but I’m glad I didn’t. I did struggle at times but I like staying in this good habit. And now that my dosage won’t be increasing again, I can focus on getting things back to normal and being able to do my workouts the way I want. It still may take another week or two, but I know I’ll get back there eventually.

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Default ThumbnailManaging My Setbacks (or Taking My Time With Adjustments) Default ThumbnailRowing And Partners (or Enjoying A 4 Workout Week) Default ThumbnailA Week Of Progress (or Feeling More Like Me) Default ThumbnailAnother Week Of Pushing Through (or Feeling Strong Before Feeling Sick) Default ThumbnailShort and Sweet Workout Week (or Taking It A Bit Easy) Default ThumbnailWorking Through Physical Challenges (or Not Letting Feeling Bad Ruin My Workouts)

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Figuring Out Some Self-Care (or Working On My Physical And Mental Health)

Posted on January 19, 2018 | Comments Off on Figuring Out Some Self-Care (or Working On My Physical And Mental Health)

I’ve been a bit too stressed out lately. A lot of it had to do with just being overwhelmed and trying to schedule myself, but that didn’t explain all of it. Reflecting back on it, I think that it’s possible that my panic and anxiety disorder came back. It wasn’t enough for me to feel like I needed to take medication or call my new therapist, but it was something I was aware of.

Like with so many other things in my life, being aware is a huge step for me and I consider that to be a win. But of course I wanted to make the stressed out feelings go away and not just be aware of it. Part of what I’ve been working on is related to my monthly challenge this month. I’m being a bit selfish and turning down invitations to things I don’t want to go to. I’m not committing myself to things that aren’t what I want to do socially and I’m not going insane when there is an event I want to go to but it doesn’t fit into my schedule. I’ve had to miss some fun things like birthday parties and baby showers because of work, but I’m not feeling guilty that I have to work because my friends understand.

Being selfish is a bit of self-care and I never really thought of that before. I think it has been a big step in my mental health although it isn’t fixing everything. But giving time to myself does allow me to think through the stress I’m feeling and figuring out what is causing it and what I can do to make it a bit better. And I know I’ve said this probably a million times, but I am also working on time management to work on my stress. I hate when I get to the end of the day and I still have so much to get done. I’m trying to work on doing stuff throughout the day and not just after work or after my workout.

But this time, I’m also working on my physical self-care too. I love to look at different beauty products, but I’m not always someone who uses them. But I decided to get a set of sheet masks from Amazon (they were pretty cheap) so I could work on my skin care. They are nice, but I look pretty creepy when I’m using them!

I’ve only used one so far so I don’t see a huge difference in my skin, but I think the mental break I get when I use those masks help too. It is time that I have to be still and relax, which I probably don’t do enough. I also found a nice new body cream at CVS on sale that I got that feels a lot more luxurious than my normal body lotion. Sometimes, it’s the little things like those that make a big difference.

I’ve been working a lot of doing these self-care things this week and I really have noticed my stress levels go down. I still need it to go down a bit more before I feel totally like myself, but I’m glad it’s getting better. I didn’t need to turn to medication (which I’d rather not use since it will make my Vyvanse less effective) and I’m not waiting it out and suffering. I’m taking action and figuring out what works. Or at least what works for me right now. I know that things will change all the time and what is working now might not work later this year. But at least I was productive in figuring out what I needed to do.

I know that this self-care is a positive step, but I still am working on how to stop the stress from getting to this level. I want to be able to stop it before it gets this bad and I start feeling overwhelmed. But as I’ve learned I have to look at the baby steps I take and not get frustrated. I can’t be expected to figure out everything right away so I need to appreciate that I figured out one small step toward figuring it all out. And hopefully next time, I’ll figure out the next small step.

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