My friend Rayshell’s birthday just passed. Instead of doing another big birthday party, she decided that she wanted to do a couple of one-on-one dinners with her friends. Since Rayshell and I do fairly regular happy hours, we combined our happy hour gathering with a birthday dinner!
We usually alternate meeting on my side of town and Rayshell’s side of town. But since I had to be on my side of town pretty late in the afternoon, Rayshell was awesome and agreed to stay on the westside.
We met up at Bossa Nova. It’s a Brazilian place that I’ve passed a million times but have never gone to. I thought at first it was a Brazilian steakhouse, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was more sandwiches, salads, and pastas.
We started off with some yummy cheesy bread (that we ate so fast that I didn’t get a photo of it) and we each got a sandwich.
It was a nice chill hangout. Of course, we talked a lot about her wedding planning. I really loved hearing about what she’s got set for her wedding so far. I already know that it’s going to be an amazing event and I’ve been trying to plan what I want to wear even though it’s months away!
Beyond the wedding discussion, we really had what most people would consider a boring conversation. We discussed our day jobs (we both have had a slower summer at work). We talked about random acting stuff like new headshots and a film that Rayshell just booked (that wasn’t boring to hear about!). And we talked about random stuff that is happening in our lives.
While it is fun to go out and do adventures with my friends (I’m going on one with Rayshell this weekend), it’s also so nice to just have a simple dinner and chat with a friend as well. I feel like these chats are what help keep my friendships grounded and strong. We all live such crazy lives and it’s easy to either let a ton of time pass without connecting or forget that we haven’t had a catch up chat in a while.
I know that I need to make this effort with more of my friends (especially my LA based friends). There are some friends who I feel like I’ve seen lately because we are connected on social media but when I look back at my calendar I haven’t seen them in months or even close to a year! I know that this isn’t their fault or my fault, it just happens. But now that I’m aware of it I’m going to work on fixing that.
I had another appointment with my therapist this week. Last time I was there, he gave me homework to do over the next 90 days (the number of days between my appointments). I was to make a checklist of 10 things that make me happy and track how many I do each day. The goal wasn’t to do all 10 every day (I don’t think I ever did that), but it was to try to make sure that I at least do some every day.
I did this for 90 days (my appointment ended up being on day 89 so I finished it the day after my appointment). And my checklist looked pretty full.
I brought my (almost) completed checklist with me to my appointment to show my doctor. It was the first thing we discussed and honestly I think he was pretty surprised that I did it. He said that many patients start one and only keep it up for a couple of days and others never actually do it. But I wanted to prove that I’m taking this seriously and I’m not just going to therapy to get medication (although that is what started this process).
He told me to continue my checklist for the next 60 days (again, it’s the length of time between my appointments). I had to make a new checklist and I was allowed to keep any or all of the previously happiness items on the list. I decided to keep all but one of them. I changed shopping/beauty because while that does make me happy, my financial situation prevents me from doing it as often as I’d like. Nothing else on my list is restricted by money so I figured that that one was meant to go. In place of shopping/beauty I put binge free day. It’s a bit controversial that I listed lack of eating disorder symptoms as something that makes me happy, but hopefully my therapist will be ok with this.
After going over my checklist, we discussed how I was doing on Vyvanse. I’ve been very torn about the medication. It has helped a tiny bit (I’d say I’ve had many a 5% improvement) but I don’t want to take something if it isn’t making a significant change in my life. There are side effects that can be dangerous and I want to be in a place where the benefits outweigh the side effects.
My therapist seemed to understand my feelings and how I don’t want to give up on Vyvanse but I don’t know if continuing to take it is the right choice. So we are going to try changing up my dosage to see if that helps. I’m now going to take one pill in the morning and another pill right before lunch time. I just started this yesterday so I have no idea yet how it will really affect me or if it’s going to work a lot better. But I am very hopeful. I have to be since I know that many things can be affected if you are positive or not. So I’m going to remain positive about this and give it the best shot I can.
My therapist said that the best plan is to take the medication and forget about it. I shouldn’t make it the focus of my day (I wonder how he feels about me writing an entire blog post about it?). So if I’m supposed to forget about the medication, I’m going to focus on the happiness checklist and seeing how much I can get checked off in the next 60 days.
Posted onJuly 8, 2015|Comments Off on Fabulous 4th Of July (or Fireworks!)
My 4th of July was spent at Chris and Marie’s house (my favorite party house!). The party didn’t start later in the day (some people had earlier parties to attend), so I spent some time relaxing during the day so I could try to stay at the party as late as possible.
I also made something to bring with me to the party. I made Drunk Fruit Salad.
Super easy recipe. Cut up fruit and soak in liquor (I used tequila). I soaked it for about 2 days, but right before the party I realized that I forgot to add margarita mix, so it was a bit stronger than I planned. I also made “sober” fruit salad for people who didn’t want to have alcohol.
I also tried to work on some sort of patriotic outfit. I was drawing a blank and then I remembered that I had gotten a headband to wear at Disneyland that would be perfect!
The party had a lot of the usual crowd. It’s so much fun to catch up and hang out with everyone. It also helps to keep a relaxed atmosphere at the party.
As always, there was lots of good food. Since parties like this aren’t all the time, I didn’t stress about what I ate and enjoyed myself. But I really don’t think I did that badly. I may have overdone it a bit with the desserts because there were so many yummy things, but again this was a special occasion.
Last year at 4th of July, it was so hot that a couple of us ran through the sprinklers to cool down. This year wasn’t as hot, but we decided to recreate the photo (minus the sprinklers).
We’ve already decided that this photo will be an annual tradition!
Once it got dark, a couple of us headed up to the roof to watch the fireworks. There were shows all around us and we kept turning around to catch them.
As we were on the roof, we saw a truck race into the alley behind the house. They stopped and then sped off. They had left a box and before we knew it fireworks were shooting out of the box! It was so close to the house and that made the fireworks look huge! But with them being so close to the house, the sparks were coming down right by us. One of the sparks got me on the ankle, but it only stung for a second.
We got down from the roof after that and the alley fireworks drop off happened 2 more times (it wasn’t as scary when we were on the patio versus on the roof).
As much as I wanted to stay late at the party, I always have to time out when I leave based on traffic and potential drunk drivers. Since bars close at 2am, I didn’t want to leave close to then. So at about midnight, I headed home (and only had to stop at 1 DUI checkpoint).
This was such a perfect low-key 4th of July. While I know that there will be plenty of parties before next 4th of July, I’m already looking forward to next year!
Posted onJuly 1, 2015|Comments Off on Santa Barbara Engagement Party (or Sunburn and Rain)
Rayshell had her engagement party over the weekend! It was at her parents’ house again (where her birthday party was) so I knew it would be a great backyard party again. Plus, Rayshell and her mom are both wonderful party planners. I wish I could be as good at doing house parties as they both are!
I took that day off of work, and I’m glad I did. The drive is usually about an hour and a half, but the traffic was so horrible that day that my drive was twice that! I was a bit late for the party, but that was ok.
My first stop when I got there (after saying hello to everyone) was to get some food. Rayshell’s parents hired Gaby’s Tacos to do a taco/burrito/nacho station. They did the catering at her birthday party too and I had been looking forward to the delicious food again.
I decided to get carnitas nachos because it just looked too tempting not to get!
I sat down with a couple of friends and relaxed after my drive and enjoyed the wonderful food.
It was a nice and casual party. I actually pretty much stayed at that table chatting with friends the entire time I was there. There were also some wonderful desserts (I forgot to get a photo of those), but the company was what made the party for me.
The only downsides were the weather. When I got there, it was really sunny and there wasn’t a shady spot left for me to sit in. So I ended up getting a little sunburnt (nothing like my pastburns, but still some redness). Then, just as I was leaving the party, it started to rain! I know it’s supposed to be good luck if it rains on your wedding day. I wonder if it’s good luck to have it rain at an engagement party too?
I know that this probably isn’t the most exciting party recap, but to be honest it was just such a calm event. Sometimes I’m so focused on doing something really awesome that I forget that some of the best times are when you are just sitting around talking to awesome friends. And that’s exactly what I got to do for several hours this past Saturday. It was perfect and I’m so glad that not only I could take the time off of work but that I was invited to be a part of the celebration.
My drive back wasn’t nearly as bad as my drive in, but even if it was it would have been totally worth it! I love getting to celebrate my friends and their special moments like this. And I know that there will be more wedding events to look forward to leading up to their wedding in April. I can’t wait!
I went to Disneyland on Monday with my friend June. She and I both have annual passes that are blacked out for the summer starting at the end of this week, so we wanted to get in one more Disney adventure before we can’t go back until the end of August.
We got down to the parks around 1pm (we both had workout classes that we went to in the morning), and we started things off right away.
Our first stop was at the Haunted Mansion. The Hatbox Ghost was recently brought back to the Haunted Mansion after disappearing soon after the ride opened in the 60’s. I hadn’t had a chance to see him yet, so I was beyond excited to check him out!
As we were getting close to his spot in the ride, I mentioned to June that it would be so amazing if the ride broke down or stopped right in front of him so we could check him out even longer. And about 3 feet before we got to him the ride did break! But it was just before we would have been able to see him, so our view was of the bride instead of the Hatbox Ghost.
Once the ride got started again we finally saw the Hatbox Ghost, and he was totally worth it! I wish we could have ridden that ride over and over again, but we had more Disneyland things to get done.
Next was a stop to get my favorite treat: Dole Whips!
It was the perfect refreshing treat on such a hot day and we were able to find a bench in the shade to relax on while we ate.
After our snack, it was time for another ride that was recently updated. The Matterhorn!
I don’t love the Matterhorn because of how bumpy it is and how it hurts my hips while riding it, but they just added a new animatronic on the ride and I had to see how it looked. I had seen some videos online so I had an idea of what to expect, but June hadn’t and she got a good scare on the ride. And since I decided not to put my hands up like usual, I was able to brace myself a bit better and only hurt a little after the ride.
After those two upgraded rides in Disneyland, we headed over to California Adventure to see the newly upgraded Soarin’ Over California. They had upgraded the screens and cleaned up the film (which desperately needed it). The upgraded ride looked very nice, but we did have a bit of a scare at the beginning of the ride. When the ride was moving up into the screen area, our seats jerked forward and we all had a little moment of panic. But the ride was smooth sailing after then.
After those 3 rides, we had checked off all the rides that we really wanted to do before we were blacked out for the summer. So we just did some fun rides after that. We checked out The Little Mermaid (mainly for the air conditioning) and then watched the Aladdin show (again for the air conditioning).
Our final ride for the day was Tower Of Terror. We tried to do a silly yawning photo this time and I think it came out pretty cute.
After those rides, we walked through Downtown Disney to the Disneyland Hotel for dinner. We got dinner somewhere where I’ve never gone before, Trader Sams!
They don’t have a huge food menu, but I got a really delicious pork sandwich. June got a fun drink (that came with the zombie mug that she got to take home) but I was just drinking water.
After our fun dinner, we did a couple of silly things around the parks like take advantage of the fun photo ops.
And take photos in front of the decorated castle.
And finally a little bit of shopping. We found this ceramic Dole Whip and I knew I had to have it!
And since it was getting close to the fireworks time and there were a couple of spaces right in front of the castle, we decided to suck it up and wait about 2 hours for the new fireworks show.
We got a pretty awesome spot to watch from. Where we were, you were required to stay seated, so that was almost better than having to stand and watch (and hope that you aren’t behind a really tall person). The new show has lots of cool projections on different spots in the park like the castle, the Matterhorn mountain, Main Street, and It’s A Small World.
Sorry for the random Cast Member in my photos. He was there the entire time making sure that nobody stood up or went under the rope. The fireworks were a bit shorter than I expected, but I’m glad that we waited it out. I rarely do that and when I do, I usually am much farther back. So being almost right in front of the castle was a real treat for me!
It was also a great opportunity to take a castle picture at night with nobody behind me in the photo.
After the fireworks, it was time for us to head home (I had to work the next morning). The funny thing was that it took us longer to walk from the fireworks spot, get a tram, and get to my car than it did for us to make the entire drive home!
And as soon as I got home, I found my Dole Whip a place in my living room to live.
Both June and I kept saying on the drive home how perfect this Disneyland day was. We got everything done that we wanted to and we really maximized the air conditioning opportunities and stayed out of the heat and sun for a good chunk of our time there.
I’m sad that I can’t go back until the end of August because of my blackout dates. Especially because the Peter Pan ride is supposed to open in a week! I have to wait it out for my time to go back. But June and I are already planning our return to Disneyland in August and hoping that it will be just as epic as this visit was!
Posted onJune 11, 2015|Comments Off on Getting Back To Better Food (or Finding My Own Balance)
After having so many days of “bad” food days, I knew I needed to get myself back in gear. If I didn’t, I would easily regain all the weight I had worked so hard to lose (plus some). I’ve been in this cycle for years (or decades) and I know that it won’t end on its own. I have to be proactive.
I’ve been trying to figure out what would be the best way to get back on track. I tried doing the diet plan from the cleanse again but that wasn’t working. I was feeling really sick and I couldn’t figure out what was causing it.
I also tried going back to my weekly meal prep, but whenever I did I felt like I wasn’t totally into it and found that I wasn’t satisfied with my meals. So I would eat something else (like take-out) or after my meal I would still eat something else.
I think that it is so hard for me to find a “normal” diet because I’ve never really had one. Even as a kid and teenager I had food issues. So normal is completely abnormal to me.
But I have to find my own normal. So I’ve been working on that this week. I’ve been doing research on food options and seeing what seems most likely for me to follow.
Basically, I’m back to a similar plan to the cleanse with many modifications. I’m trying to just have fruit for breakfast. I was hungry at the beginning because I’ve gotten used to bigger breakfasts (usually a waffle with peanut butter), but I’m starting to feel more comfortable just having fruit in the morning. On Mondays when I have a morning workout I might have something more substantial, but on non-workout mornings I’m good with just fruit.
Lunches are a bit more varied. I’ve had sandwiches, apples with cheese, or a microwave meal (I’m trying to stick with the more organic ones even though I know those still aren’t ideal). Basically lunch needs to be something that is quick to put together and easy to eat. And hopefully something that I can put down and continue eating later if I get a call from a customer at work.
On workout days, I sometimes have a snack after work. Usually those are pre-packaged individual serving bags of cashews. Those help keep me from feeling too hungry or light-headed during my workout.
Dinners are still a struggle. I know better options for take out that I can get if necessary, but I’m really trying to make more dinners at home (especially on nights that I’m not working out or going somewhere). I’m doing a lot of rice bowls with either beans and veggies or a veggie burger on top. Those aren’t bad options, but I’m hoping to figure out something else besides rice bowls that I like to make for dinner (and don’t make me wish I had something else).
These are baby steps in the right direction, but at least they are on the right direction. I’m hoping that I’m finally able to find a balance that works for me in the long-term and doesn’t just feel like a quick fix (like everything has in the past).
Why does it seem like whenever I make progress, something comes that sets me back?
Once again, my weight loss progress has stalled. And I know it’s my fault. I’m not doing so great with my food (again).
I tried to go back to my cleanse plan, but my body wasn’t happy with that. I was getting nauseous and dizzy throughout the day, especially during workouts. And those symptoms would last for an extended period of time where I didn’t feel safe driving or sometimes even walking (I ran into several doors in my house and got lots of bruises). So I tried to just say with a good “normal” diet plan with trying to stay in my calories each day.
It’s just not working. I’m finding that I’m screwing up almost on a daily basis. It’s  not as bad as it’s been in the past, so that is some progress. But these little slip ups do add up and they really are effecting my weight loss.
The one thing I will say is that no matter how bad I feel after eating “bad” foods, I’m still going in for my workouts. In the past, if I had a binge episode I would spend the next day or so recovering from it. And that recovery usually meant laying in bed or the couch waiting for my body to stop hurting. But now, even if I’m hurting or feel sick I still work out. I might not work out as hard as I know I could, but something is better than nothing.
And with this setback with my food, I’m also having a problem for the first time with water intake. I’ve always been someone who drinks too much water. In fact, I’ve had to monitor my water to not drink too much (that can cause issues). I’m still getting in close to 100oz of water every day, but that’s less than I’d like to drink. I’d rather be closer to 125oz.
I just bought a new water glass for my house online and it should be delivered in the next week or two. This one is a 24oz tumbler that is double-walled so I can have it next to my computer while I’m working and I don’t have to worry about the water sweat. Hopefully that will help me get more water in while I’m working (that’s been one of the toughest times for me to hydrate).
Even though I’m having these setbacks, acknowledging them is a major step. And stopping my bad habits before I get back to my before weight is progress too. The water issue seems easier for me to fix than the food one. But I’m really hoping that I can slowly get back on track soon.
Maybe all these setbacks and needing to get back on track moments aren’t really setbacks. Maybe this is just what “normal” eating is like. I’ve never really experienced that so it is a foreign thing for me to deal with.
A little later I got a text with a picture of the ring.
It’s such a gorgeous ring and the photo doesn’t do it justice! Rayshell had shown me this ring in a photo before she got engaged and the moment I saw the picture I knew that this was the perfect ring for her. It’s really classic and unique at the same time. And I love that it’s in rose gold since most people have white gold rings nowadays. Even though I know Rayshell told Paul that this was the ring she loved, I think he did a great job following instructions and getting such a great ring (and I think he did it without any help).
So of course, Rayshell and I had to do a happy hour outing to celebrate her engagement. It took a few weeks to get together because I ordered engagement presents online and it took some time getting it to me. But we were finally able to meet up this past week.
Rayshell got to pick the happy hour place and she chose her favorite, El Torito Grill.
I got there first (I gave myself a ton of time in case there was horrible traffic) but Rayshell got there shortly after me and we got to have some really quality catch-up time.
It was so nice to be able to congratulate her on the engagement in person. And I love giving presents to my friends. I got her a wedding planning notebook and a personalized garter (I get those gifts for all my bride-to-be friends). And I think Rayshell really liked both gifts.
Our happy hour hangout was really fun. Technically, we didn’t order anything off the happy hour menu, but I always have fun with getting a dinner out.
Rayshell shared with me the details for the wedding that they have figured out already. They have a really amazing venue on the beach in Santa Barbara picked out and the wedding will be next year in the spring.
I’m super excited for this wedding. I know it will be fabulous and I’m so excited to celebrate Rayshell and Paul with all their friends and family.
I know that some single people dread weddings (I guess it reminds them that they are still single), but I’m not like that at all. I have so much fun at weddings and alltheweddings I’ve been to have been so unique and perfect for the couple that is getting married. So I’m just excited to see how their wedding will reflect them as a couple.
And of course I’m already thinking about what I want to wear to the wedding and hoping I might be able to lose more weight before then. But I don’t want to set a really big weight loss goal again. I feel like when I don’t reach my goal it’s really tough on me and I don’t want to have to deal with that disappointment.
But I’m really going to work hard on my exercise and diet and see where I can be by next spring. No matter what, I’m excited to have another big event to look forward to.
Posted onMay 26, 2015|Comments Off on A Game Filled Party (or Being Competitive With My Friends)
I’ve written before about the epicpartiesthatMarieandChris throw all the time. Honestly, their parties are probably my most favorite ones to go to. They are amazing hosts, everyone brings great food, there are wonderful friends, and I always leave wishing I could stay longer.
For Memorial Day weekend, they didn’t do a party on Memorial Day (because everyone would have to work the next morning), but instead did a party on Sunday. And this time the party theme was “Game Day”.
When I got there, the entire backyard was filled with every type of game out there.
Besides board games, there was ping-pong and other larger games set up as well.
At first, I wasn’t sure if I was going to play games. I was there for the good company and good food. But of course Chris was a good host and wrangled me into a game quickly.
I’m not sure what the game was called, but it was a mix of Charades and Pictionary but we were all working on the same team against the clock. We played 2 rounds. The first round wasn’t so great, but we finally got it figured out and we won the second round.
There were so many people playing different games and I kind of just wandered around to watch everyone else play. It was fun, but since we are all so competitive the games were pretty intense.
Since Memorial Day is the unofficial start of summer, there was also some hot dogs and other BBQ style foods. And of course lots of good drinks (but I stuck to water since I knew I’d have a morning workout the next day).
After the sun went down, we decided to play an epic all group game. It was called Time’s Up and we played in 2 teams with half of the party in each team.
Time’s Up is similar to Charades. You have 30 seconds to get your team to guess what the word or title is on your card. After one is guessed, you keep going until the timer runs out. Then the other team goes. You keep the cards your team gets right until all the cards have been guessed.
Then the next round, you go through the same cards again but the clue givers can only say 1 word and your team can only give 1 guess before you move on to the next card. It was good that we had some of the previous answers memorized.
The last round you can’t use any words, just gestures, and your team still only has 1 guess per card.
It got pretty crazy. I chose to only guess and not be one of the clue givers, and I did ok with guessing the cards. I was able to get quite a few in the second and third round (not so much in the first round when I didn’t know what the answers already were).
My team ended up losing (we were 4 point behind in round 1, and tied in rounds 2 and 3), but it was a really great time.
After that game, it was time for me to head home so I could get a decent night sleep. It does suck sometimes that I don’t live that close to Marie and Chris so I have to leave earlier to drive home. And if I had planned things better I wouldn’t have scheduled an early workout the next morning so I could have stayed a bit longer. But for the time I was able to be there, it was a really amazing party and a great way to kick off summer (even though it was actually pretty chilly).
My second mentee only meeting with my Women in Film mentoring group was this past week. I offered to host again because it’s pretty convenient for me to have the meetings in my house. Plus it seems to be centrally located for the rest of the group.
Only about half of our group was able to make it, but I was still excited to catch up with those who were going to be there. I took the opportunity to use my new serving dishes I got from my grandparents and they were perfect!
Since the group was smaller this time than in the past, we only spent about an hour catching up on the goals that we have gotten done and what our goals for our next meeting will be. It still inspires me every time when I hear what everyone else is doing with their careers. I’m so lucky that I was matched with this group who are all very motivated and are dedicated to getting as much out of this mentoring group as possible. This is exactly what I was hoping to get out of doing a second mentoring circle.
I hate that I feel like I’m trash talking my old mentoring group. I’m not. But with that group our mentors weren’t as tough on us about attending meetings and they never told us to meet on our own between the meetings with them. And the other women in the group were mostly absent from the meetings. I really only got to know 2 of the other women because they were the ones who showed up for the meetings.
After our hour of catching up, we ate some dessert and started to me less formal and more social as a group. It’s not that we haven’t been social in the past, but this time we really relaxed and started to share fun and silly stories. I got to know the ladies much better and I feel that we got to bond a bit more as a group. I’m hoping that if we try to stay to time limits with our personal catchup and goals discussion that at future mentee only meetings we can continue to be more social and not just about business. It was a really nice touch and I think that everyone else enjoyed that too.
We will have another meeting with our mentors next month (the date isn’t set yet), and I’m hoping to have fun news to update everyone with. Since everyone else always seems to have such great news and stories to tell everyone, I feel almost a bit competitive and want to have some awesome news of my own.
So I’m trying to work on my career much harder than I have in the past just so I can feel like I can keep up with everyone. But I think that is one of the reasons you get into a mentoring group like this. You get motivated by everyone else to better yourself and you have a great group to lean on and ask for help.
I’m working on some ideas about what will push me farther in my career, and I’ll be sharing one of those things with you all tomorrow!