Monthly Archives: June 2020

Another Santa Barbara Day (or A Little Bit Of Social Interaction)

Posted on June 30, 2020 | Comments Off on Another Santa Barbara Day (or A Little Bit Of Social Interaction)

I’ve been in isolation for about 3 1/2 months now. I haven’t left my house much. My biggest adventures in the world have been going to urgent care and seeing my family for a day. I rarely leave my house for errands and have been relying on delivery services (and yes, I do tip generously for the deliveries). Isolation has been tough on me. It’s very lonely. I’m used to being alone, but not lonely. And the lack of social interaction and physical touch is very hard to deal with. But fortunately, last week I got to change that up a bit.

My parents were down in Santa Barbara visiting my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew. And since they were there for a few days, they asked if I wanted to come up to see them all. And of course, I said yes! Besides feeling lonely and wanting to be around people, I wanted to see my family!

And I will give this disclosure like I did when I saw my family again. I only went because I had been isolating myself for a length of time without going out for errands. My family is all in medicine and I followed all of their guidance and rules. I didn’t do this without thinking it through or ignoring the fact that we are in a global pandemic. I didn’t know how close I could be to my family or if I was going to be required to wear my mask the entire time. I was prepared for whatever they said.

When I got there, I wasn’t wearing my mask while hanging out with my family because we were able to sit far enough apart. Plus, none of us have really been going out in public at all so we’ve all been pretty isolated for a long time. And it was so good to get to see my family and talk to them in person! I’m grateful for phone calls, texts, and video chats; but there is no replacement for in-person interaction.

And Rory had gotten so big since I had seen him! And his little personality was really coming out. He was very clear in what he liked and what he didn’t like. He had this really adorable look of frustration from time to time. I hated that he was frustrated, but I loved that you could tell that he had so much he wanted to say and express to us. I have a feeling that he will be very chatty as soon as he can talk.

And I got to hold him again too! Because I have been isolated for so long, I was able to hold him without wearing a mask. He’s pretty wiggly and was looking at everything around the house, so it hard trying to get a photo with him looking into the camera. This was the best that I could do.

We spent a lot of time at my brother and sister-in-law’s house, but we also went out for a walk. One of the main streets in Santa Barbara has been turned into a pedestrian-only area, so there was a lot of room to walk around without being too close to anyone else. I hadn’t really been out like that in months, and it was so nice to get to do that. I still was wearing my mask, even without people being that close to us. I have to be careful and cautious and it was an easy thing to do to stay safe.

Once we got back to the house, we had family dinner and then I had to head back home because I had something I had to do early the next morning. But I had gotten to spend a while with everyone and it was exactly what I needed. I needed to feel connected to people again to get ready to go back to being lonely.

I know that I am lucky that I got to do this. Not everyone is close enough to family to go to see them for the day. Not everyone can isolate the way that I’ve been able to so that they can be safe around others. And I am so grateful that I got to do this again. I don’t know when I’ll be back to see family again, so I am just grateful for the opportunities that I have had to see them. And when I can go again, I know that I’ll feel so happy that I can go.

You Might Also Like

Default ThumbnailA Little More Time In Santa Barbara (or Hanging Out With My Sister-In-Law) Default ThumbnailSanta Barbara Weekend (or Family and Friends Time) Default ThumbnailA Santa Barbara Afternoon (or Celebrating My Future Nephew!) Default ThumbnailSanta Barbara Wedding (or Dancing The Night Away) Default ThumbnailSanta Barbara Engagement Party (or Sunburn and Rain) Default ThumbnailA Bridal Shower Celebration (or My Morning In Santa Barbara)

Comments Off on Another Santa Barbara Day (or A Little Bit Of Social Interaction)

Posted in Family, Fun Stuff

Tagged , , ,

Not The Workout Week I Planned On (or Starting To Prepare To Go Back)

Posted on June 29, 2020 | Comments Off on Not The Workout Week I Planned On (or Starting To Prepare To Go Back)

This past week of workouts was not what I expected. I thought it would be a pretty decent week for me, as far as my health goes. I wasn’t expecting to feel any nausea until the end of the week if I felt any. I was excited to see what I’d be able to do.

But my body had other plans.

I wrote about how I got my period very early, so the entire week ended up being pretty rotten. I will say that it was better than it usually is, but this was not what I thought the week would be like. The pain and nausea were there, but I was able to manage it with medication and other remedies I have. The fatigue hit me really hard and that wasn’t easy to get over. I had some serious struggles with the workouts each day, but because I knew what was causing the struggles I wasn’t too frustrated with myself. I wished I could have done better, but I also accept the reality of it.

And I did try to celebrate the workouts that I did do because this past week I completed my 100th Orangetheory class for the year! I’m on track for my goal for the year. Of course, I didn’t expect that I would spend several months doing classes at home. But those still count to me, so I’m excited that I’ve been making steady progress toward my goal for the year.

But soon, I might not be working out at home. As I’ve shared before, the studios are getting ready to reopen. The reopening date is a week away. And while I’ve been hesitant about if I’d go back right away, I spoke to my family who is in medicine and they think it should be fine with the precautions that the studios are taking. Classes were posted in the app at the end of the week last week so we could start booking classes, and I got myself into a few of them.

The class times aren’t the times that I usually go. They are doing a different schedule because they are allowing 30 minutes between classes to disinfect everything. And I have the flexibility with my schedule right now since I’m not working much. So I’m not doing classes as early as I normally go. But I probably will also need the extra time to get ready since I’m so used to only having to walk into my living room to work out.

My regular workout schedule is Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday. And that’s the schedule I’ve kept while working out at home. But because I know things will be harder in the studio, I have decided to start with 3 days in the studio and 1 day at home. Hopefully, this helps me ease back into my workouts and I don’t get too overwhelmed or too sore.

I will have some new struggles when getting back to the studio besides being weaker than normal. Some of it will be the stress and anxiety about being back and being worried if I’m making the right choice. But I feel pretty comfortable that I am and I know that if anything changes that I can cancel the classes I booked and just do the workouts at home. But the thing I think will be the hardest will be working out in a mask. I did order some fitness-specific masks (I don’t want to use a cotton one as it will be gross when I sweat). And I have heard from people that it isn’t too hard working out in a mask, but you never know. Hopefully, the masks I ordered get here soon so I can do a workout at home with them first.

Since I plan on being back in the studio in a week, this week I’m really hoping to push myself. I want to be in the best place possible when I get back to the studio. I want to be proud of what I was able to do at home, even when I struggled. But no matter what, I am seriously proud of myself for not giving up when it would have been very easy to do so.

You Might Also Like

Default ThumbnailAnother Mixed Motivation Week (or I Might Be Almost Done With At-Home Workouts) Default ThumbnailI Hate Not Having As Much Motivation (or A Week Of Workout Struggles) Default ThumbnailFirst Week of Workouts After The Challenge (or Weird Workout Times) Default ThumbnailA Planned 3 Workout Week (or Medication and Workouts) Default ThumbnailA Short Workout Week (or I Would Have Ended On A High Note) Default ThumbnailAn Up And Down Workout Week (or I Love Having Workout Buddies)

Comments Off on Not The Workout Week I Planned On (or Starting To Prepare To Go Back)

Posted in Fitness

Tagged , , , ,

Still Wondering About The New Normal (or Baby Steps Back)

Posted on June 26, 2020 | Comments Off on Still Wondering About The New Normal (or Baby Steps Back)

I’ve written several posts about my curiosity about what the new normal will be like or my fears about things reopening. It’s a very weird time and I think many people have the same thoughts that I do. In some ways, I want things to be back to feeling normal, and in other ways, I’m terrified about it. I think I was feeling a bit better about it before we started reopening things in LA because it did seem like the number of cases each day was doing down. Now, we are increasing again and that’s not what should be happening.

I know that they said that there may be an increase in cases as things open and that there are other numbers to consider. Some people say the number of people hospitalized is a better thing to track. Some say to only look at the number of people who passed away. I have been watching all the numbers because I really don’t know what is best and I’d rather have a good overall idea of what is happening. And even though I am staying informed, I still am very confused about things and really can’t tell if I should be more or less worried than I am right now. So for now, I’m pretty much not changing what I’ve been doing for the past few months. I don’t really leave my house for anything except essential errands and I try to limit those to once a week. I will have a few other outings happening, but I’m not doing a lot (I’ll write more about those outings soon).

Staying home is really the safest thing, but I know I can’t do this forever. And since I will have to start living my life again eventually, I’ve been trying to plan how to live a bit more normally. I have gotten a lot of masks in different styles because I expect masks to be a part of normal life for a while. I do have some that I think I can use for workouts if I do go back to Orangetheory. I might look into some that seem to be designed for working out. I have some that I feel are cute because I don’t want to just have boring masks. If I’m going to wear them for a long time, I want to make it as fun for me as possible.

For a while, going to get groceries was very stressful for me. Seeing the lines at the stores, worrying about what I would or wouldn’t be able to find when I get inside, and just feeling like I’m experiencing something very weird made me so uneasy. I have been doing a lot of grocery deliveries because it made things a bit easier for me. But I can’t get all the stores I might shop at delivered to me. So I’ve been doing a bit more grocery shopping on my own. And while sometimes I have still had to wait in line, the last 2 times I went to one store I was able to just walk right in. And they had everything in stock so I was able to get everything I wanted. It’s odd that being able to get things I want feels so special. I need to stop thinking like things are scarce and I might not be able to make a plan for shopping. I want to get back into making real shopping lists to work on making meals and not just shopping to see what I can find.

I haven’t done a lot of stuff outside of my house so I don’t know what it’s like to go shopping in stores or eating at a restaurant. I don’t need to do either of those things so I’m fine waiting. But I have been paying attention to the new rules and policies so that I have a better idea of what might be expected if I do venture out to something like that.

Things do change a lot and quickly, so the steps I’m seeing now to the new normal might not be the steps that happen. Being an observer of these policies does help me feel better and since I’m not directly worried about them the changes don’t bother me too much. I just stay on top of knowing what is going on so I am prepared. The new normal is starting and I have no clue how long it will take until I feel like things are really normal again. It might take years until I feel like I can be as comfortable being out of my house as I used to. I hope it doesn’t take that long, but then again I never thought I’d be staying in my house like this for over 3 months.

You Might Also Like

Default ThumbnailSome Of The New Normal (or I’ll Need To Get Used To This) Default ThumbnailFaceTime Repair (or Baby Steps To Prepare Me For Home Ownership) Default ThumbnailBaby Steps (or Trying To Be Proud Of The Little Victories) Default ThumbnailBaby Steps Progress (or Surprising Myself) Default ThumbnailBaby Steps Back To Cooking (or My Check In Kicked My Butt Into Gear) Default ThumbnailBeing A Bit Of A Show-Off (or More Baby Steps)

Comments Off on Still Wondering About The New Normal (or Baby Steps Back)

Posted in Health, Tough Stuff

Tagged , , ,

Another Successful Livestream (or Fixing Issues And Working On A System)

Posted on June 25, 2020 | Comments Off on Another Successful Livestream (or Fixing Issues And Working On A System)

After the first You Are The Union livestream, Amir and I knew we had room to improve. It went really well, but not everything that we were hoping for happened. Mainly, we had technical issues with trying to get the livestream up on YouTube at the same time. And then after we were not able to save it so we could have a replay. We want these livestreams to be available at any time, so we knew we had to work on fixing it.

Once we had our next one scheduled, we took extra time to make sure we were clear on the process of how to make the livestream work. We did multiple test runs and made a checklist of every step that we have to take each time to make sure that it works. It’s not the easiest process, but it’s worth it to make it happen so we are willing to do the work. Plus, I have a feeling that as we do these more often, they will get easier and easier for us to set up.

We also wanted to make sure that things just ran smoothly and easily once the livestream was started. This mainly was stuff I needed to be able to do. Since Amir is hosting live, I want to run all the behind the scenes stuff so he doesn’t have to think about it. We tried a system of me texting him the questions from the guests the first time, and that didn’t exactly work. This time, we decided on a Google Doc where I could change the list of questions if we were getting a lot about the same topic or if something needed to be next instead of another question. So on my end, I needed to have a lot of windows open to keep it all together. I had the Google Doc with our questions, the Zoom window with the Zoom chat and participant lists popped out, the YouTube page to make sure the video was still streaming there, and the YouTube chat popped out. This is what my screen ended up looking like while we ran the second livestream.

It was a bit crazy, but it really worked for me in the end. I did switch between windows a lot, but it was easy enough to monitor everything at once. I monitored the chats on Zoom and YouTube to pull questions, looked at the participant list to see our Waiting Room, and tracked any raised hands in Zoom if someone wanted to ask a question on video. The first livestream, we didn’t have many people interested in asking questions on video so we debated removing that option. But this time, more people wanted to do that so I’m glad we allowed for both video and text questions.

Our second livestream was about diversity, inclusion, and Black Lives Matter. We had Tiffany Yvonne Cox and Michelle Hurd as our guests and it was so incredible. I was thrilled that the livestream went so much better than the first one did, but I was even more thrilled about the conversation that happened during it. This was exactly what we hoped would happen and I’m so glad that our audience seemed to feel the same way.

And because we were able to run everything smoothly this time, we also were able to create a replay of the livestream. The replay is pretty much the entire livestream, we just edited 1 minute at the beginning and 1 minute in the end when we were still getting things set up. But all of the discussion, questions, and conversation was kept in. We didn’t want to censor or edit our guests in any way, and I’m glad we were able to keep the full thing up for anyone to watch at any time.

I’m so proud of this livestream. I was crying at times while it happened because this is exactly what Amir and I dreamed of creating. And we never thought we would have exactly what we wanted by the second livestream. We thought we might have some more things to work through. But I think all of our practice runs and preparation paid off and helped us make all the improvements we were looking to make.

We are working on planning our next one. We have had a bit of a delay due to some timing issues, but we are hopeful we will have another one happening in a week. And we have a few topics in our lineup that we are considering, so we should be creating a nice schedule over the next few months. And we do want to do another one on diversity because we know this is not a one and done topic. This is an evolving discussion and we want to create a space for people to discuss it and get answers. That is so important and being able to provide it makes me so happy.

I’m still so excited that I have helped to create this livestream and how quickly it has been embraced by so many people. So many of the viewers were people who are not currently involved in union service and it was a great way to get to meet new people and to hear what they are hoping to see from the union. And we have a few people who have expressed interest in union service and asking what steps they can do. That is amazing and not something I expected. But like I’ve always said, all I want to do is to educate other union members and to make sure they understand what is going on. And maybe that does mean getting more people involved in union service so they are an active participant and able to help educate others in their social circles.

You Might Also Like

Default ThumbnailYou Are The Union (or Finding More Ways To Educate Other Union Members) Default ThumbnailSeeing Actors Supporting Actors (or An Awesome Union Working Project) Default ThumbnailBack To Union Working (Elections, Contracts, and More) Default ThumbnailFinal Union Working Meeting For 2017 (or A Commercial Roundtable) Default ThumbnailUnion Working Support (or Celebrities And Middle Class Actors Unite) Default ThumbnailAnother Amazing You Are The Union Livestream (or Learning So Much About Being A Better Ally)

Comments Off on Another Successful Livestream (or Fixing Issues And Working On A System)

Posted in Acting, Fun Stuff

Tagged , , ,

I Guess This Makes Me Feel A Bit Better (or A Physical Explanation For My Emotional Symptoms)

Posted on June 24, 2020 | Comments Off on I Guess This Makes Me Feel A Bit Better (or A Physical Explanation For My Emotional Symptoms)

The past week, I’ve been struggling more than normal. I haven’t been sleeping well. I have been feeling off. I had some body aches and pains that I couldn’t explain. And I just had a general feeling of uneasiness. I assumed that this was due to isolation and my mental health. I know a lot of people are dealing with a bit of depression right now and it made sense to me that I might be dealing with the same. I would almost be worried if I didn’t have a bit of depression right now. I don’t want the current state of the world to be normal to me.

So I had been trying to do things to make me feel better. I’ve been especially focusing on my sleep because I know when I’m tired it makes everything harder for me. I just couldn’t seem to sleep well even if I was going to bed early. I was tossing and turning a lot, and some of that was due to hip pain. I also couldn’t reach deep sleep and when I did I had some really weird dreams that made me wake up feeling very unsettled. Again, I assumed this was all due to the circumstances with the world and didn’t think too much about it.

And then, I ended up getting my period almost 2 weeks early. Sorry if this is TMI, but I write about this plenty. I write about how much pain and nausea I deal with and how much it affects my life. And usually, I deal with a lot of symptoms for 5-7 days before my period starts and I am pretty miserable. For some reason, because I wasn’t dealing with nausea, I didn’t even consider that everything I was dealing with could be this. Also, since I’m usually pretty regular I never would think that I would get my period 2 weeks early.

There are so many reasons why this happened. I am guessing a lot of it is stress and nothing more than that. I know there can be medical reasons for this, but that’s usually when you have irregularity happening more consistently and this was just random for me. Or at least I hope it’s random. I track things so I will know if it’s happening a lot before my next doctor’s appointment.

And now, I’m dealing with the pain and nausea that I usually have. That’s really annoying because I just got over nausea about a week and a half ago. I thought I would have more freedom from it. I’m used to having more time without it. But I can’t do much now except try to take care of myself with my usual remedies and medications. It’s not as bad as it has been before, so that is a good sign. Of course, it could get worse as this week goes on. But I’m going to be grateful that it’s not bad now and I didn’t have the week of nausea before this that I was expecting.

As frustrating as it is to have my period be 2 weeks early, in some ways, it’s also a relief. I never thought all these issues I was dealing with could be related to my period since I wasn’t expecting it. But now that I know my cycle was thrown off, almost everything makes sense. The weird pains I was experiencing can almost all be explained by this (except my hip pain, but that might be a weather thing). Moodiness and fatigue make sense. The issues sleeping make more sense, even though that’s not something I normally have it’s something I occasionally have. The general feeling of uneasiness makes perfect sense now. And while I can’t feel certain that everything I’ve been experiencing will end when my period does, I do have a bit of hope that it will. I don’t have to worry as much that this is just how I’m mentally doing because these issues did come on suddenly. I hope they will go away just as suddenly.

I know that if I googled irregular cycles that there can be a lot of reasons to worry (especially when you consider my age). But since this is a one-off thing for now, I’m not going to think too much about it. Hopefully, things regulate in my body for the next cycle. And if they don’t, then I can discuss it with my doctor when I go in for my next appointment. But for now, I’m just grateful that I have a better idea about why I have been feeling so off for the past few days.

You Might Also Like

Default ThumbnailBack To Back Medical Issues (or I Guess My Body Gave Me A Sign) Default ThumbnailLA Is Shut Down Again (or Somehow This Makes Me Feel Better) Default ThumbnailA Low Key Post (or I Guess Things Come In Threes) Default ThumbnailSorry For A Quick Post (or Going Through A Tough Day) Default ThumbnailHappy Birthday To Me (or Why Social Networking Makes Me Feel Fabulous) Default ThumbnailI Feel Like My Body Is Playing Tricks On Me (or Trying To Beat My Nausea)

Comments Off on I Guess This Makes Me Feel A Bit Better (or A Physical Explanation For My Emotional Symptoms)

Posted in Health, Tough Stuff

Tagged , ,

Being Grateful To Have A Bit Of A Schedule (or Trying To Not Waste My Days)

Posted on June 23, 2020 | Comments Off on Being Grateful To Have A Bit Of A Schedule (or Trying To Not Waste My Days)

With everything pretty much being shut down for the past several months, my daily routine and schedule have taken a serious hit. While I didn’t necessarily love my schedule before, it kept me busy but allowed for a decent amount of free time. I had an idea of what to expect day to day and it allowed me to plan. And in some ways, I have been lucky compared to some of my friends. Many people went from having fully scheduled days to having nothing happening at all. I had a bit of a step down from my schedule, but it was still a shock to me.

The one thing that I have going for me right now is that 6 out of the 7 days of the week I do have something to do. It’s usually not much, but it’s better than nothing. 3 days a week I work for an hour. 4 days a week I have a workout at home. Only one of those days has both things. So I usually have either work or a workout and I do both of those in the morning. It helps to have it in the morning because it prevents me from sleeping in. I’m still struggling a bit with my sleep schedule, but I am getting better and at least my wakeup time hasn’t been affected much.

I am grateful to have that one hour a day that is scheduled. It does create a bit of a sense of routine and normalcy in my life when so much is not normal. I wish I had more of a schedule and routine, but I just haven’t been able to figure out what to add. I know that my moods aren’t necessarily stable right now so I don’t want to force myself to do something if I’m not feeling up for it. But it does mean that there are a lot of days that I haven’t really done much.

I have learned not to judge my productivity based on what I used to do, but it’s not easy to always remember that. I also try to remind myself that sometimes it is ok if I waste a day or two. If I need a lazy day before getting back to doing more, that’s ok. Being gentle with myself is a constant struggle and being in the middle of a global pandemic hasn’t made that easier on me.

I guess I’m also in a bit of a writer’s block moment too because I don’t know what else to write. I’d love to hear if any of you have had the same struggle with trying to create a schedule and what has or hasn’t worked. I have no clue when things will change for me (or for anyone), so I need to figure out how to maximize this time as much as possible.

You Might Also Like

Default ThumbnailContinuing My Home Workouts (or I Really Am Grateful For Orangetheory) Default Thumbnail3 Movies In 4 Days (or I’m Grateful For Free Screenings) Default ThumbnailScheduling Without A Schedule (or Hoping To Make The Most of My Unemployment) Default ThumbnailMaking Busy Days Busier (or I Guess I Like To Maximize Only Certain Days) Default ThumbnailReadjusting (or I Guess I Forgot What It Felt Like To Work My Work Schedule) Default ThumbnailA Weird Workout Schedule (or Out With The Old And In With The New)

Comments Off on Being Grateful To Have A Bit Of A Schedule (or Trying To Not Waste My Days)

Posted in Tough Stuff

Tagged ,

Another Mixed Motivation Week (or I Might Be Almost Done With At-Home Workouts)

Posted on June 22, 2020 | Comments Off on Another Mixed Motivation Week (or I Might Be Almost Done With At-Home Workouts)

As much as I wanted this past week of workouts to be as good as the week before, it just didn’t happen for me. It wasn’t that I was dealing with physical issues (except that I might have tennis elbow again, but that wasn’t really hurting my workouts). I just wasn’t feeling the workouts. This feeling is something that I have struggled with the entire time I’ve been working out at home.

So much of what I love about going to Orangetheory is being with others. I’ve said this so many times in the past few months, but I crave having my friends and coach cheering me on and encouraging me to keep going or to do more. And it’s not just having the environment of a group workout because I’ve done other workout classes and never felt the same way I feel at OTF. There is something special there and you just can’t replicate it at home.

And I have to repeat again that I know that OTF is doing everything they can to help us with the home workouts. They have created challenges, made sure we had a variety of workouts posted online, and those videos have also been pretty funny with what they use instead of weights (like backpacks filled with things or oversized household objects). OTF was not designed to be done as a video workout, and they have done amazingly well with adapting things and taking suggestions from members and changing the videos based on what we were asking for.

I try to use the idea of going back to the studio as part of my motivation. I don’t want to be starting at square one when I get back there. I don’t think I will be as weak as I was when I started, but I know I won’t be anywhere near as strong as I was when the studios closed. I know my cardio ability is down too, and that’s going to be hard to get used to. So I keep reminding myself about those things to try to push myself harder.

But there is a chance that I won’t be doing all my workouts at home for much longer. I still am undecided about going back right when the studios open, but they do have a reopening date. It’s still 2 weeks away and other gyms are opening sooner, so I should be able to see if there are a lot of outbreaks at gyms. I need to make the choice that will make the most sense for me. For my physical health, I think it’s a coin toss between putting myself at risk and being able to work out better. For my mental health, no question going back to class is better for me.

I know that the studio owners aren’t taking the situation lightly. They have opened studios that they own in other parts of the country so they already had a plan about how to try to make things as safe as possible. I know that there will be empty workout stations so you are never next to someone else. Also, you will be the only person using the equipment at your station. Normally, for example, there is someone on treadmill 1, rower 1, and floor station 1. And when we switch you stay with your number, so 3 people use each thing per class. But when things open, if you are on treadmill 1, there won’t be anyone on rower 1 or floor station 1. They also are adding time between classes so they can do 30 minutes of disinfecting after each class. Originally they said that masks would only be required when you are coming into or leaving class. Now, since masks are required more in CA, I know they are working on changing that policy to be the best policy it can be. But for me, if I return I think I will wear a mask for the entire class. I don’t love the idea of having something on my face getting sweaty while I work out, but if that is what I need to do to feel comfortable working out I will do it. I’m not worried about breathing through the mask, it’s really just the idea of being sweaty that I don’t like.

When the studios open, hopefully I will know more about things so I can decide if I will go or not. I go back and forth on how I feel about it. But I need some actual numbers and evidence from other gyms being open for me to know which way is best for me. I also know that if I decide to go when they open that I don’t have to go for all 4 workouts a week. I will still have the option to work out at home. So maybe I’ll do 2 workouts there and 2 at home. I really don’t know. This is what I have been wanting but at the same time, I’m unprepared for it and don’t know what to do.

Now that there is a real date for when the studios will open, I hope that I feel a bit more motivated at home this week. I know when I could get back into class, and I want to be ready for that. I know that this might not be enough motivation for me to do exactly what I want to do, but I’m going to use it if I feel low at all this week. And hopefully, in a few weeks, I’ll be able to write about having a mix of studio and home workouts. And one day in the future, I know I’ll be back to writing my normal workout recaps and they will be all studio workouts!

You Might Also Like

Default ThumbnailMaking Home Workouts Feel A Bit More Like Studio Ones (or I Do Still Wish I Was In-Studio) Default ThumbnailWhy Can’t I Just Have A Normal Week? (or Another Bad Week Of Workouts) Default ThumbnailSome Of My Best And Worst Workouts (or A New Type Of Home Workouts) Default ThumbnailA Week Of Tough Workouts (or Frustration As Motivation) Default ThumbnailAnother Week Of Home Workouts (or Still Trying My Best) Default ThumbnailMixed Up Workouts (or Not Knowing What To Expect)

Comments Off on Another Mixed Motivation Week (or I Might Be Almost Done With At-Home Workouts)

Posted in Fitness

Tagged , , ,

Friends Are The Best Mood Booster (or The Difference A Day Makes)

Posted on June 19, 2020 | Comments Off on Friends Are The Best Mood Booster (or The Difference A Day Makes)

My post yesterday was definitely a bit of a downer. As I said, I usually have good days but I have had some bad days too. I heard something on a podcast about how most people are experiencing some signs of depression these days, and I don’t doubt it. I think a lot of my exhaustion is related to dealing with a bit of depression. It’s not bad enough that I am worried about my health or safety and my therapist has said that she doesn’t think I need to be on medication for it as this is not my usual mindset. But it’s something to be aware of.

And part of being aware of it is working on coming out of the funk. Usually, that’s more in my control because I have options of what I can do. But now, I really don’t have the opportunity to go out and feel better. And I can’t really go out to see my friends.

But just because I can’t go out to see my friends, I can still be social with my friends. It’s just in a different way. I have been doing Zoom hangouts, but those can be overwhelming and there is such a thing as Zoom Fatigue (which is the idea of having so much anxiety because you don’t know if someone is watching you or not). So I’ve been trying to have more phone calls (without a video element) with my friends.

When I was growing up, I spent a lot of time on the phone with friends. We did have internet and AOL messenger was a big deal, but I spent way more time on the phone than I did online. I had my own phone line during high school, so I was able to be on the phone without kicking other people in my family off the phone (or off the internet since AOL went through the phone line). I’m sure I did some phone calls in college too, but I know I was doing a lot more texting then. And now, I rarely make phone calls. I call family, but I text a lot more often. And there are lots of friends that I almost never call but wouldn’t think twice about texting.

But texting isn’t enough for me right now, so I’ve been doing a lot more phone time. Even if I’m talking to a friend and just venting and ranting to them, it really helps. Of course, I am happy to do the same for any of my friends and I have been the sounding board for many of them. We all need to be heard these days and I’m so glad I can be there for my friends when they need it and that they are there for me.

I’ve had a lot of phone calls recently with my friends. Some of them are not totally social calls, but we still get some friendly chatting in while doing work too. I’ve been busy getting things organized with the livestreams I have been doing for my slate lately, and my co-creator is my friend Amir. So when we have to be on the phone together dozens of times a day (or for a long hour or two calls), even though we are working for a lot of it, we do get silly too. I’ve had a few other work and union-related calls that turn into silliness, which helps to break up my day.

And even though these are technically just texting or messaging, having regular Netflix Parties with friends helps too. I think it’s the idea of having a communal experience with others. I know that those friends in the party with me are watching the same thing at the same time as I am. We do message about things about the movie or tv show we are watching (like when something crazy happens or when we love an outfit), but a lot of what we talk about in Netflix Party has nothing to do with what we are watching. We talk about stuff happening in our lives and if someone is struggling we are there to support them. It’s crazy how much support I get out of the group because technically I’ve never met any of the friends who are in it with me. We are all just in a Facebook group together. We have created a bond in that group and the smaller group that does the Netflix Party has an even stronger bond. I know if I needed something that I could reach out to any of them and they would be there for me.

I’ve also had some phone call dates recently. While those don’t help me as much as calls with my friends all the time because sometimes the guys I’m talking to aren’t the best, it’s something. And I’m not staying on bad calls or on calls with guys I don’t see myself dating just to be on the phone. If I’m spending time on the phone with someone, it’s because I want to talk to them. And I do hope that in the future those calls turn into real dates (socially distanced or not). But I am aware that some people are just looking to talk to someone and it might not go the way I would hope it would go. But when I’ve been messaging with guys before when I could go out on dates, I would have the same issue. So finding people who have no intentions beyond virtual hangouts isn’t a new issue.

It’s not always easy to plan or schedule calls for when I’m in a bad mood. And I can’t exactly plan when those bad moods will happen so I can’t figure things out ahead of time. And when I’m in a funk, I don’t always reach out to others. I know that I need to, but it’s not easy. I am lucky that I have people in my life that reach out to me just to check-in, so that is good. And if I try to have a somewhat regular schedule of when I talk to people, hopefully that helps to keep my mood a bit better and more even. And there is a chance that by the time I figure out how to do all this that things will be normal again and I won’t need to worry about it as much. But it’s always good to have a plan in your life when you aren’t doing so great.

Even though I really don’t have many plans for the weekend, I am looking forward to it and seeing what I am able to get done. I don’t have any crazy projects that I’m working on, but I’m sure I’ll find something to do and I’ll hopefully be a bit busy. And I know I have a Netflix Party on Saturday and that is always a highlight of my weekend.

I hope that all of you are doing ok. This is not an easy time for anyone. I know it’s not easy to reach out if you are struggling, but if you can please do so. People are more than willing to help and listen. And just having a friend there for you can make such a difference.

You Might Also Like

Default ThumbnailIt Can Be Tough To Get Help (or Trying To Be A Good Friend To My Friends) Default ThumbnailSo Many Virtual Movie Nights (or Thank Goodness For Technology) Default ThumbnailStill Figuring Out Dating During COVID (or Phone Calls, Video Chats, And Social Distances Meetups) Default ThumbnailMaking Friends As An Adult (or Am I Weird?) Default ThumbnailHow I Spent My Actual Birthday (or Friends, Friends, and More Friends) Default ThumbnailFriends Helping Friends (or Not Being Afraid To Ask For Support)

Comments Off on Friends Are The Best Mood Booster (or The Difference A Day Makes)

Posted in Fun Stuff

Tagged , ,

I Keep Hitting Little Moments Of Writer’s Block (or Not Sure What To Say)

Posted on June 18, 2020 | Comments Off on I Keep Hitting Little Moments Of Writer’s Block (or Not Sure What To Say)

3 months ago, I wasn’t sure what I’d be able to do with this blog. I questioned if I would be able to maintain my normal posting schedule if I was isolated and not doing much. I didn’t know if my life would be interesting. I didn’t know if I would feel motivated to keep writing. And it has been a journey with trying to keep this up.

I think I have found the motivation to keep writing because it’s one of the only things in my life that hasn’t changed because of the pandemic. I am not writing at the same time I did before the pandemic, but there isn’t much that has changed about blogging besides maybe having more options for when I write. I still am doing my workout posts, even if they aren’t really recaps about my workouts and more about how I’m adjusting to working out at home. I don’t have much to write about that is outside my house since I’m not going outside. My posts are much more about mental health or things about me and not about fun things I am experiencing. I do prefer the types of posts I can write when I am able to go out and do things, but this isn’t the worst trade-off.

But the issue that does still hit me from time to time is what to write about. Sometimes things do come up so I have an idea about what to write. And sometimes, like right now, I have no clue what to write about. Nothing has really happened this week for me. I have had a few days where I wasn’t doing as great as I have been, but I got out of that funk. I’m not doing much with my days and I don’t know what I can do to change that. I am trying to find a purpose and be productive, but my options are really limited.

I don’t feel like there is much change from day to day. I have some days that I do a workout in the morning and some days that I work in the morning. Beyond that, there is much variety in my life. And without variety, there isn’t much to write about.

I do still want to write every day, even if I don’t know what to write about. I’ve hit these moments of writer’s block more than once during the past 3 months and I have always gotten over it. And I will get over this one too. I will have something to write about soon. I have a few things planned out over the next few weeks to write about, but I can’t write them yet as they are things that haven’t happened. But it is good to know that there are days coming up that I don’t have to worry about what to write about.

Sorry for not having an interesting post today. I really don’t know what to share. If there are things that you would like me to write about or if you want me to share what I have been reading and watching, let me know. I don’t know if anyone is interested in reading that, so if you let me know that you are then I will write those posts.

I’ll get over this writer’s block. I know it. But right now, it’s hitting me hard and all I really can think about writing about is how much I’m experiencing it. Hopefully, tomorrow I’ll have something better to share.

You Might Also Like

Default ThumbnailHitting Some Writer’s Block (or This Is What I Thought Would Happen) Default ThumbnailHitting Writer’s Block (or This Is Going To Be Me Rambling) Default ThumbnailFeeling Weird About Blogging Other Stuff (or Posting Silly Posts Just Feels Wrong) Default ThumbnailAnother Downside To My Bad Week (or Just Doing Nothing) Default ThumbnailVulture Festival (or TV Writers and A Sing-A-Long) Default ThumbnailI’ve Got Writer’s Block (or I Might Have Taken Too Many Pain Meds)

Comments Off on I Keep Hitting Little Moments Of Writer’s Block (or Not Sure What To Say)

Posted in Tough Stuff

Tagged , , ,

What I’ve Done Over A Quarter Of A Year (or Feeling Ok With What I’ve Accomplished)

Posted on June 17, 2020 | Comments Off on What I’ve Done Over A Quarter Of A Year (or Feeling Ok With What I’ve Accomplished)

I’ve said this a few times already, but we have been doing isolation/quarantine for a quarter of a year now. When it all started, I know some people thought it would only be for 2 weeks, but I felt like it would be at least for a month. And if things were locked down more or cases were tracked and managed better, maybe we would have been in a better situation after a month. But things weren’t as strict as many they needed to be. And I know that if things were stricter, people would have been more upset. It can’t be easy to find the balance of protecting people but allowing them to not feel like they are trapped or not free. I wish that more places would require masks since that seems to be the way to manage this. But so many people are protesting against them (which I really don’t understand).

Even though things are reopening here, I really do fear that they will need to be shut down again or that more people will be getting sick and we will run out of hospital beds. That’s why I’m pretty much staying home all the time even though I don’t need to. I do have other reasons why I’m doing almost a full quarantine, but the main one is that I know that limiting my exposure to others is one thing I can do to manage the spread.

But being home almost 24/7 for 3 months hasn’t been easy. I’ve talked about the isolation and toll on my mental health it has taken. I’ve been working on finding ways to handle that and I do have more good days than I did before. But I do still have days that I struggle. I don’t worry too much about those bad days because I know I’m not alone in them. And when I’m feeling down, I do try to think of good things I have accomplished by being home.

Sadly, that list of things I have done is pretty short. I have done a lot of cleaning and reorganizing, but at the same time, I have spent money that I didn’t expect to spend. I know I’m saving money on other things so it should balance out, so that’s good. And I am happier with how things look in my house. Even though I haven’t changed much, it does feel like a refreshed home and that does make me feel like I’ve been able to make my home feel even more like me.

Another good thing I try to remind myself about is how I am cooking more. I have a few recipes that I feel very comfortable with that I don’t really need a recipe. I know what ingredients I need and I can put them together quickly. They aren’t anything fancy, but it does feel good that I know I can make a meal quickly and easily if I make sure I stock the things I need at home. I still want to branch out more with my cooking, but it’s much better than it was before.

I’ve also been working on trying to be better about what I am eating. I still am struggling and I’m not going to hide the fact that I have gained weight (the combination of not eating the best and also not working out as hard hasn’t been good for me). But I do want to try to pick healthier things when I can. And while I don’t avoid fruits and vegetables, I want to make sure I add more to my day. One way I’ve been doing that lately is making smoothies each morning.

I’ve had a good blender with an individual cup attachment for a while. But I just never used it that much. But I decided now is the time to do it. And the smoothies I’m making aren’t anything too crazy. I use a frozen banana, some fresh spinach (which I do freeze to keep it good longer), some Greek yogurt, almond milk, and peanut butter powder (I started with using real peanut butter, but the powder is healthier). So I’m getting in a serving of fruit and vegetables with each one plus some protein. They look just like any other green smoothie and they taste like one of my favorite smoothies from Jamba Juice.

I’m usually not a big breakfast person, but this is easier on my body to tolerate in the morning. I don’t know yet if this helps me enough with my food choices for the rest of the day, but I know it probably can’t hurt. The calorie count isn’t that high and it’s healthy. So I figure it’s a good thing to have most mornings and hopefully, it will have more benefits as I get used to having them.

I don’t feel like I’ve gotten much else done while staying home other than watching a lot of TV and reading a lot of books. I don’t feel as productive as I would like to, but I also know that the productivity that I had before isn’t necessarily feasible right now. I can’t compare myself now to what I was able to do last year since I don’t have the same options. So while I might not have done much over the past 3 months, I have stayed healthy. And I have gotten a few random things done or new potential habits started. And I should be grateful for those little things because they are victories for now.

You Might Also Like

Default ThumbnailHow Is This Year Almost Over? (or Doing A Check In On My Goals) Default ThumbnailUnder 90 Days Left In The Year (or Doing A Bit Of Reflecting) Default ThumbnailHow Is This Month/Year/Decade Almost Over? (or I Think Everyone Is Shocked It’s Almost January) Default ThumbnailOne Year (or Actually One Year And A Couple Of Days) Default ThumbnailStarting The Year With A Lot Of Transformation (or Who Will I Be By Next Year?) Default ThumbnailNew Year’s Eve Fun (or Making Sure 2014 Is A Lucky Year)

Comments Off on What I’ve Done Over A Quarter Of A Year (or Feeling Ok With What I’ve Accomplished)

Posted in Fun Stuff, Tough Stuff

Tagged ,