Posted onJune 15, 2018|Comments Off on I Guess I’ve Been Very Lazy (or I’m Sorry This Isn’t That Interesting)
I’ve had times in the past where I’ve struggled with what to write on here. My life isn’t always super interesting and I do try to schedule stuff from time to time because I know they will make a good blog post. And I really felt like I had been doing things lately that were fun, but this week I’ve really struggled with topics to write about on here.
I don’t know what I’ve been doing with my time that feels like I’m busy but I’m really not. I’ve been doing a lot of work stuff lately and doing some random side projects for friends (I’ve recently been doing some graphic design work and am finding that I’m able to do more than I thought). I’ve had some dates recently, but nothing too crazy that it needs to be a blog post on here. And I think I’ve just been very focused on getting better and that has been tricking me into thinking I’m busy.
And I know I’ve spent a lot of time just being lazy. I want to use the excuse of trying to get better as the reason for my laziness, but I know that’s not really it. I’ve just been in a low spot physically and mentally and I think that being lazy is the way I’ve been recovering from it all. I do feel so much more like myself, but I still am having moments where things feel overwhelming and I need to take some time to decompress. But those moments are getting less frequent so I’m happy about that.
It’s also been getting hotter in LA lately. I was hoping we’d still have more June Gloom to help keep the temperatures down. But it’s been getting hotter and that means it’s been hotter inside my house all day while I’m working. I’m so grateful that I have my A/C so I can keep it cooler. I would love to use the A/C as little as possible, but it’s very tough for my house to cool down even when I open up all the windows. For example, as I’m writing this it is 71 outside and 84 inside after running my A/C. And if I opened up the windows, I know that it wouldn’t be getting much cooler inside by the time I go to bed. I know that because I dealt with that for so many years. It’s just the way that my house was build and how the insulation works.
The heat adds to my laziness, but I can’t completely blame it for how I’ve been feeling lately. But because of everything that I’ve been dealing with lately, I’m just trying to be extra gentle with myself and not trying to feel guilty for being lazy. I do have some things planned coming up that will be fun, but I’m not going to push myself to schedule more just so I could have better blog posts. I’ve said it before, but showing how boring life can be sometimes is an important part of this blog. I don’t love having to admit it, but I also don’t want to be only posting the best parts of my life and having a fake online persona. This is the real me and this is really what I’m dealing with.
I do feel bad when my posts on here aren’t as interesting because I know that you all reading these don’t necessarily find them interesting either. But I did make a commitment to myself that I was going to blog every weekday and I’ve been doing that for so many years now. I’m not going to let a lag in my social life ruin that streak I’ve been having.
At least the weekend is almost here and I know I’ve got some fun things next week happening. That doesn’t mean I won’t necessarily have some boring days, but I am looking forward to having something fun to write on here!
Posted onJune 14, 2018|Comments Off on It Can Be Tough To Get Help (or Trying To Be A Good Friend To My Friends)
It wasn’t that long ago that I wrote about depression and how a few of my friends were going through very tough times. I had some friends who had tried to kill themselves and fortunately they were no successful in it so they could get help. Even though I always have made myself available to my friends if they need someone to talk to, they didn’t necessarily reach out to me before they tried to end their lives. I know this is a very selfish thought, but I was angry at them for not calling me so I could help them.
With the recently celebrity suicides in the news, a lot of people are wondering why Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain wouldn’t have asked for help. They had so many people in their lives who cared about them and would have been there for them. Everyone is always saying that if you need help that you should ask for it. But I’ve learned from what my friends experienced that it’s not that simple. If they are in a head space to ask for help, they will do that. But because mental illness can make you think untrue things are fact, they sometimes have said that they believed that they weren’t worthy of getting help or that none of their friends would have helped.
As much as I want to convince them that those statements aren’t true, I know that I can’t necessarily change their minds. I can tell my friend every day that they are a worthy and amazing person and they might still have the voice in their head saying that I’m lying to them and that they’re worthless. I can’t force mental illness to go out of someone’s mind by my positivity, despite how hard I try to do that. I wish I could make that true, but it can’t always be true when someone is in a deep depression.
It can feel like there is no way to help a friend if they won’t reach out to you when they need the help. I have struggled with figuring out how to be a good and supportive friend when it feels like the support isn’t enough or doing the trick. But after the suicides last week, more and more people are being open about their battles with mental illness and there have been some commonalities with the stories with what has helped.
So many people have shared how they were very close to killing themselves when a friend randomly called or texted them. Sometimes people were reaching out to them to make plans, and sometimes it was just to share a stupid story or meme they found online. Whatever it was, that contact was enough to snap them out of the mental illness fog they were in and realized that they needed to get help because they weren’t safe. I’ve personally experienced that with a friend. They were about to kill themselves when they got a text from another friend. I don’t know what the content was of that text, but my friend ended up calling me while they were driving to the hospital to be checked in. They snapped out of it and were able to be admitted to the hospital to get the help they needed.
We can’t always be constantly checking in with our friends when we know they are struggling, but we can all make more of an effort to be better friends and to remember to just say hi via text to friends every so often. That’s a good thing to do for friends with mental illness as well as friends who don’t. It helps you stay connected to friends when it’s so easy to let months go by without talking to a friend. When you see them posting on social media, it can seem like you’ve been in touch when you really haven’t. I’m guilty of this quite a bit and I’ve been working on fixing it. And now I have a bigger reason why I need to fix my bad habits.
Of course, if you need help and know you need it, there are many ways you can do that. If you have a friend you can reach out to so you can make sure that you can be safe, do that. If you don’t have that or can’t do that, you can call 911 or drive to a hospital to get help. And there is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline that you can call or text to talk to someone.
While this might not sound like good news, but the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline has reported a significant increase in calls in the past week. But that is good news because people are getting the help that they need by a trained professional. Hopefully they are able to find all the resources that they need to continue to get help and they will be able to get through this. It takes such a strong person to not only admit they need help but are able to take action to get the help they need.
My body has been such a mess lately. It seems like something has been wrong with me for several months (when in reality it’s most like 5-6 week) and I just can’t be healthy. I’m aware that the cold I got is going to stick with me for a bit longer and that’s a little annoying. But I do see progress every day that I’m getting a bit better. I just can’t wait until I am not coughing all day and I feel like I can breathe normally again.
Right before I got sick, I had a bladder infection (which came right after feeling nauseous). It was cured pretty quickly with antibiotics and I was grateful that I don’t get them that often. They are pretty bad and because I didn’t want to have to take unpaid time off work I had to wait several hours after my symptoms started to get to the doctor for the medication. I had to wait until getting to the doctor to take any over the counter medications that make things less painful so I could be properly diagnosed, but as soon as I finished at the doctor I took everything I could to make it go away.
But then the other day, I was feeling off and couldn’t place what was wrong. Then I started feeling like I needed to go to the bathroom constantly and was terrified that I had another bladder infection. I thought it would be so strange to have another one but I was not willing to take the risk and wait it out. So I called the nurse line to talk to someone and see if I could get a prescription quickly.
With the nurse line, they can call you back when it’s your turn so you aren’t on hold for a while. The wait time was about 2 hours and the entire time I was waiting I was drinking as much water as I could. I know that you can’t always flush it out of your system, but I was going to try it because that’s all I could do while I was waiting. When I finally spoke to the nurse, my symptoms were slightly better but she still felt like it would be best for me to take the antibiotics again.
So I got into the car and drove to Kaiser. As I drove there I realized that I felt pretty much normal again and that maybe I overreacted. But I still wanted to get the prescription in case this was just a temporary break. I went to the pharmacy to order them and then walked into the hospital to use the bathroom. And when I walked in, I will say I was super creeped out by how empty it was inside.
I’ve never seen the lobby with no people inside. There was nobody waiting, no staff at the desks, and nobody walking around. The hospital was open and I have no clue why there was nobody inside. But since I was weirded out I quickly used the bathroom and headed back to the pharmacy to pick up the medication.
By then, I was feeling totally normal and a bit silly for doing all this. If I had just waited it out, I would have been fine. Of course, there was no way to know that when I called to talk to the nurse and I’d rather overreact and not do anything and make the situation much worse. I know a bladder infection can turn into much more serious conditions and I don’t want to cause that to happen.
While I did get the medication, I’m not going to take it right now. I’d rather not take antibiotics that I don’t need. I’m going to keep them because I still am a bit paranoid that this is only a temporary break from the issue and that it’s going to come back and get worse. I feel the same way about my tumors. When I found out they shrunk, I was so sure that it wasn’t real and that they would grow again. When I had my scan last October, I was certain that I wasn’t going to get good news. Fortunately I was wrong about that.
I think that it’s just my nature to be paranoid about things like this when I’ve already had to deal with them. I’m not really worried about medical conditions that I haven’t had personally (or have had close family have). I’m not worried about all the new diseases and conditions you read about in the news. I’m only worried about repeats of what I had or that something that is supposed to be getting better is really getting worse. I’m glad that I was wrong this time and I was fine, but I’m still worried that in a week I’ll be writing about how this post was wrong.
Posted onJune 12, 2018|Comments Off on 4 Years Of Orangetheory (or Some More Reflection)
Last week when I was on Instagram I saw that the Orangetheory LA account was announcing what celebratory things would be happening at different studios to celebrate 4 years since the first Los Angeles Orangetheory location opened. It’s crazy to think that it’s been over 4 years since my first class! It feels like I’ve been doing the workouts for forever (in a good way) but it also doesn’t feel like 4 years have passed since that first class where I struggled so much.
Since they were celebrating 4 years, I figured I should celebrate a bit too and I worked on a photo collage of some of my favorite OTF memories. There were way too many photos to include without making them too tiny to see, but I think I came up with a pretty nice collection.
Those photos only show a small representation of all the incredible things I’ve done in my workouts. And while I was going through my photos to pick what I was going to include it really made me reflect on all the things I had accomplished in the past 4 years.
First, I’ve done hundreds of workouts in that time. It still surprises me that I have been able to keep up such a regular workout routine for this long. It was something I never was really able to do before so to have this regularity in my life is amazing and makes me so happy. And while I don’t always look forward to every workout and I sometimes have to drag myself there, I am always happy that I did the class and feel very accomplished. Sometimes I’m tired and sore, but accomplished.
I’ve also brought friends and family to class with me. Some of my friends have become regular workout buddies and some have just done an occasional class with me. But it’s always nice to have a familiar face with me. And while none of my family is nearby or does OTF workouts regularly, we do have our Thanksgiving tradition of going to a workout. We plan on continuing this tradition again this year, but we don’t know who will be joining us. But even if nobody else wants to workout, I know that my dad and I would go. My dad has done occasional classes in LA with me too. And I’ve told him that whenever I make it back to the Bay Area that we’ll have to do a class there too.
But not only do I have friends in class that I brought with me, I’ve made amazing friends in class. When you see the same people every week, you start to form a friendship. It’s so nice to have the support of people I know in every class and it also helps to make me look forward to a workout even if I’m not necessarily looking forward to the exercise part. And not only do the friends I’ve made in class make me feel that way, but the coaches I have do that too. Several of the coaches have been my coach since I started and they’ve seen my progress and the setbacks I’ve had. But they always support and encourage me no matter what’s happening.
I’ve also accomplished some fun things in this last 4 years. That includes doing 4different HellWeeks (in my photo, I thought I had only done 3 but I was wrong), severalDri–Tris including a relay, and a running class. I never thought I could do any of these things before and I can’t wait until I can do more of them to see what progress I’ve made. And the progress isn’t just in class for me. I’ve made huge improvements in my 5Kraces. Once I’ve gotten better and can be on the treadmill again, I want to start making a plan to do another 5K race. The race might not end up being in 2018, but I want to have a plan in place so I can create a training schedule and have some goals in mind.
The last 4 years of workouts has really been life-changing for me in so many ways. The physical changes have been awesome, but the mental ones have been even better. I’ve become more confident, more comfortable with myself, and have discovered how strong I really am. And I’ve realized that despite what I might look like, I am an athlete and there’s no denying that. It’s an empowering thought to have and I never knew that it would be something I thought about myself.
4 years of workouts have changed me and have flown by. And I can’t wait to see where I am physically and mentally after the next 4 years.
Posted onJune 11, 2018|Comments Off on Continuing To Get Better (or Still Finding Wins In My Workouts)
I’ve been using the bike for my workouts for a while now and I’ve finally started to be able to find my groove as far as challenging myself goes. I’ve had a few different ideas with challenges on the bike and this past week I was able to try them out in my workouts.
I was feeling excited for Monday’s workout with how things went the previous week. I did still have to fight the little voice in my head telling me to try the treadmill because I knew that I shouldn’t. But it was extra tempting because not only was it a power day (which means short push or all out paces), but it was a 3 group workout so the time on the treadmill was shorter than a 2 group class.
I ended up started the workout on the rower and the rower and treadmill workout were actually the same. There were 5 little blocks within the block that were push to all out paces with walking recovery in-between. All of the all out paces were 30 seconds and the push paces started at 30 seconds and went up 15 seconds each time. And for the rower, we did push to all out rows with recovery rows in-between. That meant we would be rowing for 14 minutes. I would have loved to have been able to do that without stopping, but that just wasn’t going to happen. I did limit my breaks to when we had recovery time, but I did have to take a break during each recovery. I had a goal in my head for how many meters I would have liked to have rowed (which was much lower than what I know I could do normally), but I didn’t make it to that goal.
For the treadmill time, I was on the bike and all I wanted to do was see if I could go a majority of the time without needing a break. I stuck with my normal resistances for the push and all out time and during the recovery time I was at my base resistance. Doing that made me realize that I probably could work on increasing my resistance on the bike. I haven’t been doing that since these levels were what I had been using before I was sick, but before I was sick I wasn’t working on the bike as often as I have lately. So this is proof that I’m getting stronger even if my endurance is still down a bit. During the 14 minutes on the bike, I only took 2 breaks and that was because I needed a drink of water. I’m not coordinated enough to drink water and pedal at the same time, but maybe I’ll get there one day!
And the floor was one long block with pull ups on the straps, squat swings using weights, lunges, and squats using weights. I was using my normal weights for the weighted work but it was a little bit of a struggle. I know that I push myself harder on the bike to prove that I’m getting better and that is causing my floor work to not be as strong. I could try doing the floor work first, but to be honest I love my routine and I really don’t know if I want to change it. But even with the floor work not being excellent, it was still good and I was using what I used before I was sick. Using my normal floor work weights is awesome and I don’t have to prove to myself right now that I could do better than that. I do need to keep working on increasing my weights to get stronger, but it doesn’t have to be my focus while I’m also focusing on getting my endurance back.
Wednesday was Global Running Day and Orangetheory had a workout designed for that. It was a 23 minute run for distance and as much as I would have liked to have seen if I could get anywhere close to what I was able to do in the past, I knew this was not meant to be my first workout back on the treadmill. So I decided to use this workout to see what I could do as far as endurance goes on the bike. We also had distance goals to hit that corresponded to various ribbon colors, but based on what the distance was I pretty much knew even before starting what ribbon I’d be at so I wasn’t too worried about that. I just wanted to see how long I could be on the bike before taking a break.
Since it was 23 minutes straight, my original idea was I wanted to wait until at least 10 minutes went by before taking a break. I felt pretty certain that I could do this as far as needing a breathing or coughing break, but since I need to take a break to drink water too I wasn’t totally sure I wouldn’t need water in the first 10 minutes. But since I set that goal in my head, I made it just past 10 minutes before taking my first water break. I went another 8 minutes before my next one. And the entire 23 minutes I never needing a breathing or coughing break. I was really happy with how well I did and when I finished I totally forgot that I set the resistance to be at my push pace resistance at the beginning and never changed it! So I did the entire thing as a push pace!
The floor was 3 blocks and I knew that they would be a bit tough after the cardio. The first block was using the mini-bands for plank work as well as hammer curls plus bench sit-ups to squats. The second block was a 4 minute distance row. I did get over 800 meters which was what we were supposed to at least get to, but I know that in better circumstances I could have done much better. And the last block was upright rows using weights, ab dolly knee tucks, lateral arm raises using weights, and rollouts using the ab dolly. The last block got really tough and I was coughing a lot, but I just took the time I needed to recover before moving on with the workout.
After a big endurance workout on Wednesday, I was glad that Friday was a power day. I’ve got it in my head that I’m going to stick with the bike for at least a little bit longer so even though this could have been a good day on the treadmill I was on the bike. Every block was 4.5 minutes and there were 4 blocks on each side.
The first 3 blocks on cardio were a similar format with a push pace, a base pace, and then a push to all out pace. The difference was that the first push got shorter and the second push and all out pace got longer each block. It was pretty easy for me to not worry about taking a break during each block since they were short and I tried to keep my water breaks between blocks short so I wasn’t taking too much time away from pedaling. The last block was 4 all out paces with walking recovery between and that was the block that I struggled with. I was having a pretty horrible coughing fit during that entire block and it wasn’t getting better with drinking water. I did have to take breaks during each recovery to try to get whatever was caught in my throat out, but whatever it was wasn’t leaving and I finished cardio still coughing up a storm.
The floor was also 4 blocks, but the last block was a rowing one. The first block was single arm snatches with weights and speed skater lunges. The second block was pull-ups on the straps and sit-ups with rotations. And the third block was high rows on the straps and bench hop overs. My coughing was continuing during the floor and I was having to take breaks to let it pass. I started to cough so much I was getting a bit nauseous, but it was mild compared to what I normally have to deal with. The last block was rowing with the same pattern as the treadmills with the 4 all out rows with recovery rows in-between. My rowing was ok, but it wasn’t that strong and my form was getting a bit sloppy. I was trying to slow down to make sure my form was better and not worrying about the distance, but I just struggled. It wasn’t the best way to end a workout, but I was glad I got through it considering how much difficulty I had with all the coughing and the issues with breathing.
Saturday’s workout was endurance, strength, and power based and I had my friend Elizabeth in class with me. We hadn’t been in a class together for a while so it was nice to have her there. And she decided to try using the bike with me so that was an added bonus for me since it’s sometimes a bit lonely being alone on the bike. There were 3 blocks on the treadmill and the first and third blocks were both challenges for distance. Both blocks had some push and all out paces plus a 3 minute distance challenge. For the distance challenge, I used my push pace resistance and was just able to beat my distance the second time I did it. I biked further during this class than I had in any other class and that was awesome. I’ve gotten used to the patterns I have on the bike so I can see when I’m making improvements.
On the floor, we had 3 blocks as well. The first two blocks had a focus with using the BOSU ball. We had running men, kneeling shoulder presses, crunches, plank jacks, sit-ups, and hip bridges using it. I wasn’t able to use the BOSU for the plank jacks, but I did for everything else. I usually don’t try doing hip work on it because I like having more stability for hip work, but I tried it and while it did take me longer to do the set I was able to do it. The last block was a 750 meter row which I did just under my time goal and then chest presses and rollouts using the straps.
Overall, this past week of workouts had a lot of successes for me. There were moments where I had moments of wanting to skip the bike and test myself on the treadmill, but I’m glad I didn’t because I still struggle with getting over this cold. And being forced to use the bike for as long as I have is really giving me an idea of goals to have when I use the bike in the future. I am looking at reorganizing how I track workout records on my own and I think I really do need to add a bike category so I can track my progress.
Posted onJune 8, 2018|Comments Off on Feeling Blindsided (or Being Tricked Into Believing Some People Are Good)
I’m not necessarily someone who likes surprises, but when they are good things they can be fun. But I’m also a bit of a control freak where I would like to know everything that is going on. Even with medical procedures or at the dentist, I make them tell me step by step exactly what is going to happen so I can mentally prepare. I make sure I have control when I can in my life, but I also know that this isn’t the best quality to have.
But being surprised and being blindsided are totally different to me and I think everyone could agree with me that being blindsided is a horrible feeling and not one that anyone would wish another person would feel. Unfortunately, I’ve been blindsided a few times recently and it’s still something I’m working through.
The first time I was blindsided recently was with the guy I was dating on and off for a while. When I got the random message that said he had a girlfriend, I didn’t want to believe it at first. But as time went by without him trying to explain anything I had to come to the realization that it was true and I tried to start moving on. But when he contacted me and he and I had the phone call, it was like a kick to the gut. It really broke my heart to get confirmation of what I thought I already knew. I’m glad I had that call because I am able to move on more than I could before, but it still was awful and I hated the feeling of loss of control in knowing what was happening around me.
And earlier this week, I had another blindsided moment that is so much worse. I use a babysitting app to get random babysitting jobs. I haven’t been that active on the app lately because of a few reasons, but I’ve still been active with the Facebook group that was created for babysitters using the app. It’s been a great way for us to share advice, give support, and just laugh about the silly things that happen when we are working. I do know some people in the group in real life too, but mainly we are just online only friends. But for the people who are posting and commenting a lot, they have become more than just strangers and I love hearing the updates they post about their life.
But on Tuesday in our Facebook group, someone shared that one of the most active members of our Facebook group was arrested. I think most of us thought it was a joke at first but I looked it up and sadly it was true. This person was a male babysitter who always was sharing advice with other men in the group since it can be tough for them to find jobs. Many people believe that men who babysit are doing it because they are predators and that’s not true. Yes, there are horrible people out there, but there are plenty of people who are good people and work with kids for totally harmless reasons.
But while this guy had been posting about how he wanted to eliminate the stigma of male babysitters, it turns out he was a monster. He was arrested for lewd acts with a minor, indecent exposure, and when they arrested him at home they found child pornography on his computer. It’s sickening and I can’t wrap my head around how this all happened. At first I think everyone who saw the story wanted to believe that it couldn’t be true, but we’ve come to the realization that it’s looking like it must be because his bail has doubled twice since he was arrested (starting at about $1 million and as I’m writing this it is over $4 million). With bail that high, they must have a lot of evidence against him and I’m glad that he was caught.
With this news. everyone in the Facebook group has been feeling pretty shocked. This was someone who we thought we knew (and there were people in the group who knew him outside of Facebook as well) and none of us saw this coming. Looking back at older posts of his online, we now see some things that could be viewed very differently knowing who he really is. But there was no way for any of us to suspect him of doing anything wrong.
People in the group blaming themselves for not seeing this sooner has been a common discussion between us. We all have a bit a guilt that somehow we didn’t predict this and make sure he was stopped. As of right now there are 2 victims that were victimized relatively recently, but of course we are all terrified that there are more victims that will be coming forward. And of course we would have wanted him to have been stopped before the 2 victims we knew about, but there were just no signs for us to see.
In our group we’ve all been trying to support each other. Most of us are feeling tricked, feeling numb, and not sure what to do. This feeling of being blindsided is something that I feel in my body as well as in my head and I know I’m not alone. We are doing our best to share information about this situation because we want to see if there were warning signs that we missed because we didn’t know they were warning signs. But at the same time we are all coming to the conclusion that this person was just a monster who was really good at hiding his true self.
While this more recent situation is so much more horrible and disgusting than what happened to me last month, I am grateful that this time I have other people going through the same thing that I can lean on for support. My default is to believe that people are good, and I know that it’s not always the case. But I refuse to believe that people are bad until they prove me otherwise. I need for my own sanity to believe that most people are good and that the monsters are the rare ones. And with believing that I guess I have to accept that sometimes I may be blindsided by situations like this and that I will need to find ways to work through them.
Posted onJune 7, 2018|Comments Off on Having A Book Nerd Moment (or The Little Things That Make Me Smile)
I’ve shared on here before about how I am a giantbooknerd. I’ve loved to read my entire life and I never seem to be able to get enough reading. Thank goodness for the library because if I had to pay for all the books I read I would be spending thousands of dollars a year. I don’t read as much as I would like to every day, but I do read every single day at least in the evening before bed. But there are also days where I spend the entire day lost in books.
Because I read all the time, I read lots of books every year. Some of them I read and forget about because they aren’t super memorable, but fortunately most of the books I find are ones that connect to me somehow and they stick with me. I revisit books I’ve read previously from time to time because I always find something different in them. I also love the comfort I get from reading a familiar book when I’m not having the best day.
I do have some fun stories about book twists that have shocked me or books that made me cry when I wasn’t expecting it. But most of them are normal stories. But there has been one story that sticks out in my head when I think about funny stories about reading a book.
Years ago, when trying to find a book to read I would wander bookstores and find books that stick out to me. I literally was judging books by their covers, but it seemed to always lead me to fun books that I might not have picked out otherwise. I could spend hours looking at all the books and taking notes on what I wanted to read. And one of the books I found because the cover looked interesting was “Body Movers” by Stephanie Bond.
I brought this book with me to Tahoe to visit my parents (back when I had to pack my suitcase with actual books instead of having my Kindle) and I very clearly remember reading that book on that trip. I remember being close to the end of the book and reading on the couch while my dad was reading next to me. And without giving much away about the book, it ended on a cliffhanger and I was not expecting that. I had no idea that this was the first book in what was going to be a series and I couldn’t believe that I would have to wait to read the next one. I think it was about a year until the next book would be released.
I’m sure I looked crazy to my dad because I was ranting about how it sucked that this book was so awesome and then it ended on a cliffhanger. I couldn’t get over it and as soon as the next book came out I immediately got it and read it. Then I got the next one when it came out and the next one. Until last week, there were 9 books in the series (there were 8 main books and then a novella that fit into the story but wasn’t furthering the plot). And every time a new book came out, I was prepared that there would be twists and cliffhangers but that made me happy because then I knew there would be another book coming out.
Last week, the most recent book in the series came out and of course I read it right away. I was sucked back into the story right away and it was difficult to put the book down. Even that night when I was reading at bedtime I couldn’t stop reading. I really try to not stay up all night reading, but sometimes I can’t help it. And this book was one that was keeping me up.
And even though I had read so many other books in this series, when this book ended on a huge twist I was shocked. It was after 1am and I screamed out loud “are you kidding me?!?!?”. Of course, I immediately worried that I woke up one of my neighbors because I screamed pretty loudly. But I think everyone who lives near me was sound asleep and I didn’t wake them. I did have a good laugh because of how strong my reaction was. That’s clearly a sign of how good this book series is and how connected I am to it.
I couldn’t believe the twist and now I want to go back and reread all the previous books because I can read them with a different perspective on the story. And of course now I’m just waiting for the next book in the series to come out to see what happens next. While reading is one of my favorite things, to have a reaction like I did with these books is special and unique. And that just makes me so happy!
Posted onJune 6, 2018|Comments Off on Checking Out Face Haus (or Making Skincare More Routine)
I’ve been on quite the self-care kick lately. This is a good thing and I’m glad that I’m doing it. I wasn’t necessarily neglecting myself before, but doing all these things does make me feel better. And while feeling better is a very important thing, I also want to look better which is why a lot of my self-care has been skincare stuff. Pretty much all of the skincare things I have been doing have been at home, but this week I had the chance to change that.
My friend Michelle is an esthetician. Previously she worked at Burke Williams and I went there for a facial with her last year. But I hadn’t done one since then. It wasn’t that I was necessarily putting it off, but going to Burke Williams was kind of a full day experience (or at least a half-day). Not only would you go there for whatever treatment you were getting, you also would wander around and use the different amenities there. It was awesome to do that, but it felt like a special treat.
But now Michelle works at an amazing new place called Face Haus. The idea of Face Haus is that it is a skincare bar where you come in for your facial and then go on with your day. It makes facials much more affordable and something that feels like a part of a routine instead of a splurge. I was so excited when Michelle got the job there and I couldn’t wait to come in to see her! And I had that opportunity to do so this week before the Santa Monica location (where she works) officially opened. I was so excited about this and knew that my skin needed it.
Walking in, it was immediately a totally different vibe. Everything is open and bright as opposed to spas where it is dark and in a private room.
At first I was curious about the idea that everything was one big room, but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. If I was coming in for skincare and just skincare (compared to going somewhere for a day of relaxation), why should it be in a cave? This way just made sense for the idea of Face Haus and the concept that getting a facial should be a routine part of life.
I also loved that with the no-frills set up the price was no-frills too! All of the facials there are $65 and there are add-ons that you can pick if you’d like. Some of the add-ons include peels, microdermabrasion, eye treatments, and LED light treatments. Since this was before the official opening, the staff there were working on getting all the kinks worked out and I was able to get a lot of add-on treatments. I trusted what Michelle felt like I needed and went with all her recommendations.
She started with the standard facial by cleansing my skin. I wasn’t taking notes during my facial so I’m sure I’ll get the order of the next few things wrong, but I believe next was my first add-on of microdermabrasion. I’ve never had that before and she started on the lighter setting so I could get used to the sensation, but it didn’t hurt at all so she could work with the regular setting. Next I believe was cleansing again to get any of the leftover debris off of my face. And then I had the LED treatment.
I really had no idea what the LED treatment would be like. They use a combination of 3 different lights. The blue light kills bacteria that causes acne, the red light is anti-inflammatory, and the amber light helps skin produce more collagen and elastin. The treatment was about 20 minutes but Michelle was sitting next to me and we were chatting so the time went quickly. And of course I made her take a photo of me getting the treatment because I wanted to see what it looked like. And it was way crazier looking than I expected!
It was bright when I was getting the treatment, but nothing too crazy. And they do offer goggles to help block some of the light, but then the light is also blocked from helping the skin around your eyes. I decided to start the treatment without the goggles and see if I needed them, but I never did.
After the LED lights the rest was pretty much the standard facial steps with a mask, moisturizer, and oxygen blast. My skin felt incredible when it was all done (I didn’t take an after photo because it was a bit red from all the treatments like it always is after a facial) and I felt really refreshed and relaxed. The facials take about an hour, but I thought it would be much longer with the add-ons, but it was still pretty much only an hour. That is perfect to fit into a regular day without needing to do it on a day off!
In an ideal world, I would get a facial every month. I’m going to try to do that but for sure I’m going to go at least every 3 months. I want to make sure my skin continues to look amazing and I know that I need to do more than what I can just do at home. I almost started to compare this to going to the dentist. You brush your teeth every day but you still go to the dentist for a deep cleaning. I wash my face every day, but I should go to a professional for a deep cleaning too! Of course, getting a facial is 1000% better than going to the dentist.
If you are in LA, I highly recommend going to Face Haus! If you can go to their Santa Monica location, make an appointment with Michelle! But they also have a location in the valley and they are opening more around the city. And I have a feeling that people are going to love this concept so much that they will be expanding even more!
For the next few months, it seems like I’ll be going to a musical every few weeks! The way this season is set, each musical is having a shorter run than what we’ve seen before. So each new show comes pretty quickly. But I’m not complaining. I love my nights at the Pantages and they are such a bright spot in my life.
And this week, the musical that my group went to go see was “The Color Purple”.
I read the book and saw the movie when I was in high school, but I don’t think that I read it or saw it since then. And high school was a little while ago for me so I was a bit worried that I wouldn’t remember enough of the plot and would get lost trying to figure out the story. Sometimes I can get so lost in watching a show that I don’t pay attention to the dialogue or songs and then get pretty confused. I didn’t want that to happen with this show. So I looked at a quick summary of the book online before we met up to get dinner before the show. And a few things seemed familiar to me and there were several plot points and characters that I had forgotten about, so I was glad that I did this.
Our dinner was pretty casual at Green Leaf Chop Shop and somehow we ended up being really early for things! A lot of times we are getting to the theater 5-10 minutes before the show should start, but this time we were inside 30 minutes ahead. So we took our time getting to our seats and continued to catch up while we waited for the show to start.
Even though I wasn’t too familiar with the story since it had been so long since high school, I thought I remembered little bits and pieces of it and that seemed to be confirmed by reading the summary online. I thought this was going to be one of the sadder musicals we saw because I remembered it being a very sad story. But I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t the case!
While there are a lot of sad and upsetting parts of the story, that is really not how the musical felt. Obviously when you are watching the characters being hurt you are sad, but it seemed like more often there were moments of overcoming those issues and that was so positive. There were so many empowering moments in the show and the entire audience was buzzing with excitement when those were happening. It was just not at all what I was expecting but exactly what I needed to see.
With feeling down and working on trying to get back to myself, I know that I do need to work on feeling empowered and not a victim to circumstances. And that’s exactly what the characters in this musical were doing. Their circumstances were very different from mine, but that didn’t matter. Having the examples of watching people do this gave me stuff to think about and try to see where I can have that same attitude in my life.
I love when something that I have scheduled to do or attend just happens to fit in with exactly what I needed to see or hear. It doesn’t always happen that way and more often than not the musicals we see are just a fun night out. And there’s nothing wrong with having a fun night out because I know that they are important to my mental health. And I can forget to have fun sometimes and having musicals scheduled help me to not forget about it. But when the show we see hits me much deeper and has such a great impact on me, it feels so special and precious to me. And that’s exactly what “The Color Purple” did for me and I’m so glad that this was the musical we had this week.
Our next show is 3 weeks away and it will be a musical that I’ve seen before, which will be fun. Even though I’ve seen a lot of shows recently, it’s been rare for me to see something that I already have seen. And seeing a show for a second time (especially when it’s a different cast and production) is really fun for me because I love to see how things are made unique with that combination of cast and crew. But I did realize that the next season (which starts this fall) will be so many shows that I’ve seen at least once before and I’m getting super excited for that to happen!
Posted onJune 4, 2018|Comments Off on Finally Gaining Endurance (or Finding Little Victories)
Mentally, I’ve been ready to get back to the treadmill in my workouts for a while. But physically, I’m just not there yet. I feel like I could do it, but then on the bike I realize that I’m still struggling a bit. I know this all comes down to my endurance. Between taking time off for being sick and the fact that I haven’t really done any running since the beginning of the year, my endurance is significantly lower than where it was before this all happened. Fortunately, I think it’s still much better than it was when I started, but I have to work on getting it back and that’s what I focused on this past week.
Even though Monday was a holiday, I still wanted to do my same morning workout. The workout schedule was a bit different so my class was a little earlier than I’m used to, but since I’ve been going to earlier classes on Wednesday and Friday it was fine. The class was pretty full (even for a 3 group class), but it was nice to see a lot of the regular Monday morning people.
The idea for this workout was kind of choosing your own adventure for the treadmill and rower. You had 3 different options to choose from on each side to work on during the 15 minutes that we were there. For the treadmill, it was 3 different distances to choose from with different recovery times. I was on the bike and I just decided to try to bike the entire time with my push resistance. I was doing a bit better as far as how long I could go without needing to take a break, but I could still tell that I was lacking in endurance. But biking for that time did feel good and I wasn’t feeling too tired by the time I was on the rower.
The rower had 3 different distances to choose from with jumping jacks. The longest distance was 2000 meters and you only had jumping jacks when you were done. The other distances were shorter but had jumping jacks before repeating the row. Just like with the bike, I decided to just try to row the entire block to see what I could do. Normally, I could do 2000 meters in under 10 minutes, but this time I couldn’t even get it done in 15 minutes. I was taking breaks every 200-300 meters to catch my breath and to cough. I would have loved to have completed the row (even though I didn’t want to do jumping jacks), but I’m glad this format at least let me work on rowing for the entire block without worrying too much.
On the floor, everything we had were timed exercises. In the first block, we had lateral arm work with weights and high rows on the straps. We had 3 rounds of those before moving to the next block where we had plank rows and triceps on the straps. Again we had 3 rounds of that before the last block which was 1 minute of goblet squats using weight. It was a tough workout but I was glad that I had to opportunity to work on my endurance in class.
Wednesday’s workout was a strength based class. Before I knew it was a strength class, I debated about trying the treadmill but ended up on the bike again since I didn’t want to try working with inclines. There were 3 blocks and the first 2 blocks were a similar pattern. We had 1 minute hills (the first block was increasing hills and the second block was decreasing hills) with 1 minute base pace at no incline in-between.
I stuck with my usual plan of having my resistance on the bike at the same number as the incline would be as a power walker and that was working out really well for me. I managed to do the entire first block on the bike without needing to take a break which was a big accomplishment! The last block was 1 minute intervals between base and push paces and I was using my normal resistance. But where I excelled was during the 30 second all out pace at the end of each block. I went even higher with my resistance than I normally do! It wasn’t easy, but I really wanted to do something that challenged me on the bike and doing something for 30 seconds seemed to be a reasonable amount of time.
The floor was also 3 blocks. The first block was upper cuts, deadlifts, and tricep work using weights. We were encouraged to use a weight for the deadlift that we never have before. Usually for deadlifts I’ll use 20 or 25 pounds depending on how many reps we need to do. But I decided to go for it and I tried using 30 pound weights. The only struggle with that was that my hands were hurting a bit with the heavier weight, but my legs were totally fine with it. And the second block was plank work, squat swings with weight, and alligators on the straps. For both of those blocks, we had 3 rounds of the exercises and then a 300 meter row. Both blocks I just finished the row as time was done. And the last floor block was knee tucks, ab roll outs, and hip bridges. With the hip bridges, again I used a weight I never had before and it was fine. So I really did prove to myself that I really should be using some heavier weights from time to time.
Friday’s workout was a mix of endurance, strength, and power. And again I was on the bike to see what I could do. For the cardio, we had a lot of push paces with base paces between. I really did try my best to keep pedaling through the entire block, but I did end up having to take a break during some of the base paces. I did try to get back to pedaling as quickly as possible so I wasn’t skipping the entire base pace so that was improvement. But it did remind me of how much further I did need to go before I was back to where I was.
On the floor the first block was skater lunges, high rows on the straps, and push-ups. I did to the push-ups on my toes instead of my knees because they were lower reps and that felt pretty great. The second block was a 2 minute row for distance and then bicep curls, front raises, and more push-ups. I managed to row the entire time without stopping which did make me happy. And the last block was squats, sit-ups, and more push-ups. This time I did have to do the push-ups on my knees because we had more reps, but that didn’t bring down how happy I was that I did some on my toes.
Saturday’s workout was an endurance one and I really was feeling like I was going to do great work on the bike. It also ended up being a run/row, but it was a bit less traditional than most run/rows. The first block we had a 1/2 mile run (which on the bike is a 2 mile ride) and then we rowed until time was called. I managed to do the entire biking without stopping and even though I was only on the rower for about 2 minutes I rowed without stopping. The second block started with a 800 meter row and then back to cardio until time was called. I finished my row in under 4 minutes and did it without stopping. And the last block used the distance we rowed in the first block and the distance we did on the cardio in the second block to create our own run/row format.
I was so happy with how well I did with my endurance during the workout. I know that the blocks were a bit shorter so I didn’t have to bike or row as long as I’ve had in other classes, but it’s still a victory to me! And with how frustrating it’s been lately with things, I’m taking any victory I can get. But even though I did some great work, I could still feel my lack of endurance at times. It took much longer for me to catch my breath and I felt like I was working much harder than I know I was. But it was still improvement and I’m hopeful that it will keep getting better.
On the floor we had 2 blocks. The first block was low row with weights, skier swings with weights, and Y raises on the straps. We also had different plank work to do after each round. We had plank swings, plank side crunches, and plank hip dips. And the second block had flys with weights, front raises with weights, and sumo squats plus the plank work. I didn’t go too heavy on the weights because the reps were higher plus I was still catching my breath from the cardio work. But it was still easier than it had been in other recent workouts so I focused on that.
Overall, I was really happy with how this past week of workouts went. I know that getting my endurance back is still going to take more time, but it’s getting there. I’m guessing I’ll probably still be using the bike for another 3-4 weeks (I could possibly use the treadmill sooner, but that will be when I typically feel nauseous). But this past week really helped me to refocus my mindset on the positive and it felt much less frustrating than it has previously.
Just A Normal Weekend For Me (or Lazy Days Are Surprisingly Busy)
