Tag Archives: health issues

A Month Full Of Doctor Appointments (or I Guess This Is A Health-Focused Month)

Posted on October 11, 2022 | Comments Off on A Month Full Of Doctor Appointments (or I Guess This Is A Health-Focused Month)

For most of my adult life, I have tried to spread out doctor appointments so I had them throughout the year and not bunched up together. For once-a-year appointments, I know they say to make them around your birthday so you don’t forget, but I would do various holidays to remember to schedule them. It’s rare that I have a lot of appointments at all once unless they are all for the same issue. For example, when I had blood work for my MRI one week, my MRI the next week, and my follow-up appointment the week after. Even during the pandemic, I’ve been trying to keep things spread out when I have the option to do so.

But for some reason, this month is going to be filled with various doctor appointments. Some of these were scheduled already, some are ones I have been waiting for a referral for, and some are ones that I realized I needed to do and just scheduled as quickly as possible. And last week, I kicked off a month of appointments with one that I tried to schedule as quickly as I could. And that was to get my eyes checked.

The last time I got my eyes checked, it was at the beginning of the pandemic. It was right after everything in LA had shut down, but I still had my appointment to go to. It was very weird and eerie because I knew we were supposed to be staying home, but I also needed this appointment because I was out of contact lenses and couldn’t get more without seeing a doctor. If I didn’t need to go for that reason, I would have stayed home. And I remember how everything just seemed off. There weren’t cars on the road because people were staying home. I’m used to seeing a ton of people in the waiting room and there was nobody there. Everyone was being hypervigilant and I was worried that being out for that appointment was maybe too risky.

That appointment was over 2 years ago, and contact prescriptions are only good for 2 years at a time. So when I realized I was almost out of contact lenses again, I knew it was time to schedule my next appointment. I know that I probably should be a bit better about trying to go 2 years apart instead of something like 2 years and 6 months, but I also know that these appointments are mainly to confirm my vision hasn’t changed. Of course, it’s important to have other eye health checked out, but the appointments I schedule are mainly vision checks.

Even though the pandemic is very different now than it was in March 2020, a lot of what I experienced at this appointment was the same. I scheduled it to be very early so I could go before work and not be late to log in. There weren’t too many cars on the road and there was nobody else in the waiting room. But I think the lack of patients in the waiting room was more about how early my appointment was and not because people aren’t going in for their appointments.

I expected my vision to be the same and for there to be nothing much to discuss with the doctor, and I was right. I did have a little trouble with the vision test because wearing a mask while doing it meant the little lenses in the machine would fog up quite a bit. I was having to wipe them off every time I looked through them to say if version one or two was better for me. It wasn’t too annoying because the doctor and I both were laughing a bit about how ridiculous it was. It did make the appointment take longer, but not by much.

When the eye exam was done, I went to order new contacts and I got a spare pair of contacts that were a different brand because I had told the doctor that I was wearing my last pair. I didn’t intend to let things get like that, but I didn’t realize I was out of contacts until I put in my last pair. I thought I had another box left and panicked a bit when I realized I was wrong. But at least now I have some backup ones I can use if necessary. But the ones I ordered should be arriving in another week or two.

I’m glad this appointment went well. Some of the other appointments I have coming up this month are a bit more stressful or I’m worried about how things will go. I know everything will be ok, but I still get stressed about the possibility of finding out something weird at an appointment. But at least for this first one this month, it was very routine and easy and I’m hoping this is a trend that will continue throughout the month.

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Default ThumbnailWorking On More Regular Doctor Appointments (or Catching Up On What I Missed) Default ThumbnailBack To Focusing On Health (or Back To Back Doctor Appointments) Default ThumbnailMy First Doctor Appointment In A While (or Not Everything Can Be Done Over The Phone) Default ThumbnailGetting Back To Normal (or Friend Hangouts And Doctor Appointments) Default ThumbnailMental Health Month (or There Is No Shame In Therapy) Default ThumbnailSurprises At The Dentist (or Guess I Have A Few More Appointments)

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A Recurrence Of Pain (or I’m Not Sure If I Should Worry Now)

Posted on October 7, 2022 | Comments Off on A Recurrence Of Pain (or I’m Not Sure If I Should Worry Now)

The back pain I was dealing with last month was pretty awful. I’ve had back pain from time to time, but it was nothing like what I dealt with recently. The scariest moments for me were when I realized the pain was preventing me from being able to turn in my sleep and I would wake up in pain because I was moving in my sleep. I’ve only experienced that one time before and it was right after my hip surgery. That feeling of not being able to move terrified me back then and I still remember how helpless I felt. So having a similar feeling to that scared me as well.

The pain was more severe than any other time I had dealt with back pain and it lasted longer. I really started to worry that it was more about my hip than my back and that I might need to see a doctor. Fortunately, the pain was getting better over time even though it took a lot longer than I would have liked. But it felt like it was finally gone last week. I was still being cautious and careful because I didn’t know if the issue was still there even if the pain was gone. And I didn’t want to injure myself again if that was the case. Even though I’m used to dealing with pain, this was more than I’m used to and I didn’t want to experience it again.

And unfortunately, since Wednesday evening I’ve been dealing with very similar back pain again. As of right now, it hasn’t been as severe as it was before. And I’m doing all the same pain management things that I did last time. I have no clue if it will get worse and feel like it did last time or if it’s just going to be another slow process to get better. And I also don’t know if this is technically a new injury or if I aggravated the old one. I don’t know if those really matter that much, but my guess is that I aggravated the old one. I had a crazy workout on Tuesday and then that evening I went out to a place that had very uncomfortable seating where my legs dangled. And I know when I can’t rest my feet properly, it can bother my hip. So by having those two things back to back, I think I would have been shocked if I didn’t have a little pain. But I wasn’t expecting something like this.

I am worried that this isn’t my back and it’s really my hip, but I’m trying to be optimistic. I guess I will need to wait and see if this pain gets better over the next few weeks or if it doesn’t have much change. If it stays the same, then I might need to schedule an appointment to try to get a referral to orthopedics again. I know that the timeline for me to get my hip replacements done was to be at least when I’m 40. And even if that still feels a million years away, in reality, it is less than a year away for me. This pain is on the side that wasn’t operated on yet, so I haven’t really experienced what a slow uptick in pain is like yet. The side that was operated on wasn’t in pain one moment and I was in extreme pain the next. It was a very different process and maybe this is what things are like when it’s not drastic like that.

I’m trying to not keep thinking of the worst-case scenarios, but it’s hard to not think of them when I know that my body has a lot of issues that still need to be fixed. And I’ve almost hit the goal of when my orthopedic surgeon wanted me to wait to have the surgeries he knew I would need one day. But I’m just going to take this one day at a time again and hope that the pain decreases a bit each day so I don’t have to think about making plans for some sort of medical intervention. And hopefully, it’s just bad luck that I had this happen two months in a row and after I get over the pain this time, I won’t have to worry about it again for quite some time.

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Default ThumbnailEnding Some Pain and Starting Other Pain (or At Least I’m Stocked Up) Default ThumbnailFiguring Out My Pain (or Staying Calm While Stressing Out) Default ThumbnailPain Distracts From Other Pain (or The Rain Isn’t Too Bad This Time) Default ThumbnailJust Some New Pain (or I Guess This Is A Sign Of Getting Old) Default ThumbnailDoubling Up On Pain (or Physical and Mental Pain Together) Default ThumbnailFeeling New Aches And Pains (or Working On More Pain Management)

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Finally Feeling Better (or Just In Time To Feel Bad Again)

Posted on September 16, 2022 | Comments Off on Finally Feeling Better (or Just In Time To Feel Bad Again)

I wrote earlier about how I have had some health-related things to deal with every week for the past month. I think it affected my mental health more than I wanted to admit because I really have been down this week. There were other things that caused me to be in a bad mood, but feeling sick or off always seems to make things worse. But I knew that all the physical health stuff I was dealing with would get better even if it seemed to be taking longer than I would have liked.

And finally, I’m feeling normal again. Dealing with the side effects from the booster shot seemed to be a bit more than what I’m used to, but looking back now I don’t think it was as bad as I sometimes go through with the flu shot. I think it might have just hit me harder than I’m used to, but it didn’t last as long as it can with the flu shot. Almost all of my severe side effects were gone within 48 hours. The only real things that lasted longer were my swollen lymph nodes and feeling a bit weak in my workouts. I think I’m still feeling a little weak in my workouts, but I can finally do a lot of things that I was struggling with at the beginning of the week. And I’m sure that my lymph nodes are still a bit swollen, but they are no longer swollen to the point where you could see them and it was affecting how much I could lower my arm. I know I saw reports online about not getting a mammogram for 1-2 months after getting the vaccine because a swollen lymph node could be mistaken for something else. So I think it’s very possible that I could still have them swollen for a while, but I don’t really mind if it’s not affecting what I can actually do day to day.

And my back has been an issue for a few weeks now. It was slowly getting better, but it also felt like I was taking 2 steps forward and 1 step back every day. I would see improvement one way but then discover another way that things might have been worse. I have just been doing everything I could to take care of myself. I was making sure I was taking pain medication when things were getting worse so I didn’t compensate for pain with bad posture and have more issues later. I used topical pain relief throughout the day to help the pain but limit how much medication I took every day. I was trying to do stretches when I could, but I also noticed that they sometimes would hurt me more.

The worst of my back pain seemed to be when I was in bed. I don’t know why laying down was so painful for me, but it really was a struggle. And as I mentioned, I wasn’t sleeping well because every time I moved, the pain woke me up. And this has been an issue since my back started to hurt. But 2 nights ago, I noticed I moved while laying in bed and reading and I didn’t have searing pain in my back. I didn’t keep moving around to test if things would hurt since I didn’t want to jinx myself. But then last night, it continued to be somewhat ok while I moved in bed. I wasn’t waking up all night because of the pain, which was so nice. I do still have some back pain, but it’s really mild now compared to how it was even at the beginning of the week.

I’m so grateful that I’m feeling better with these two things. Although now, I’m just waiting to see how bad my pain and nausea will be this month. Normally, it would have kicked in by now but it hasn’t yet. I’m glad it hasn’t started since I’ve been dealing with other things, but I’m also worried that this could mean that next week will be even worse. I know I can’t think that and I just have to keep hoping this month won’t be bad. I also know that getting the booster shot might be throwing off my cycle a bit so maybe things are just late and that’s why I haven’t had those symptoms kick in yet. I’m not too worried if things are off by a day or a few days since I know that’s a normal side effect of any vaccine. But it’s also making me feel a bit antsy to see when things will kick in and when I will need to work on managing those symptoms.

After having a month of back-to-back health issues, I’m really ready to be over them. I know I still need to get through the pain and nausea when it kicks in, and because of the timing, that means I will be dealing with health issues for 5 or 6 weeks without a break. But hopefully, after I’m through that in a week or two, I will finally have some weeks with no health issues and I can just relax and enjoy my time.

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Default ThumbnailFeeling Sick And Unmotivated (or Trying New Things To Feel Better) Default ThumbnailFinally Feeling Healed (or Recovery Took Longer Than Expected) Default ThumbnailFinally Feeling Normal Again (or These Side Effects Surprised Me) Default ThumbnailFinally Getting My Booster (or Feeling A Little Safer) Default ThumbnailSometimes I Feel Cursed (or At Least I Think I’m Feeling Better) Default ThumbnailFinishing Up At The Dentist (or This Is Even Harder When You Feel Bad)

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Sometimes It Feels Like One Thing After Another (or Having To Miss Things For My Own Good)

Posted on September 14, 2022 | Comments Off on Sometimes It Feels Like One Thing After Another (or Having To Miss Things For My Own Good)

I’m used to having a bad 1-2 weeks each month. It’s an annoying reality of my life, but it’s just what I have to deal with. The ways to avoid it are either not options for me or things I don’t want to do just yet. But it feels like since my last bad week, it’s been one thing after another and it’s not stopping. And I feel like it’s starting to affect my life a bit.

I’m glad that I didn’t throw out my back while also having a regular bad week because that pain would have been really difficult to deal with. My back is doing a lot better now, but when it started I was really worried that something serious was wrong with me. I am used to bad pain with my hips, but this was another level. And when I was trying to sleep, the pain sometimes got worse. I do move quite a bit in my sleep, and every time I moved the pain woke me up. And almost worse than that pain, sometimes I wasn’t able to move and I felt trapped and that woke me up. I don’t know how to explain my lack of ability to move, but I just couldn’t turn over the way I normally do. I needed to wake up, sit up, and use my upper body to move me. It was really odd.

I’m glad that things are better now and I’m not in severe pain and it’s becoming less frequent. I still feel pain when I move certain ways and I do still have some issues moving while I’m laying in bed. But it’s nothing like what it was just a week ago. And I think that every day things are getting a bit better and I should hopefully be back to normal soon enough.

But just as my back was doing better, I got my booster shot and had to start dealing with those issues. I’m glad that I timed it out well so the worst of my side effects occurred over the weekend when I could rest and recover. But my lymph nodes are still swollen and my arm still hurts. And I have been feeling pretty weak in my workouts, which I should have expected but I wasn’t. Feeling weak when I don’t feel sick anymore is such a tough thing to deal with.

And now, I’m just about to start up another round of regular bad weeks. So I feel like I haven’t had a break. And this isn’t my normal, so it’s been hard for me to deal with this mentally. I’ve been trying to keep up with my normal plans, but this week I will have to skip something that I really was planning on.

I have done the Dri-Tri at Orangetheory almost every single time that it’s been offered since I started working out there. I missed the first one because of my schedule, and of course, I missed the ones that happened when the studios were shut down. But I did do the Dri-Tri at home, even though that’s not exactly the same. And this weekend, it’s the Dri-Tri again. I had every intention of signing up and just going for it. I know I wouldn’t get a PR or do something amazing, but that’s not the point for me. I just like to do them to prove to myself that I can.

But between how weak I’m feeling and the issues with my back, I know it wouldn’t be smart for me to try it. I have to be careful with what I do, and I know that some of the exercises wouldn’t be the best options for me to try. I do push myself, but I’m aware of my limits and what adrenaline can do. And I think that if I did the Dri-Tri, I would probably push myself too much and not realize until after it’s done that I did something that set me back with my back recovering. I wanted to wait and see how I felt and make a decision at the last minute, but I know now that there’s no way I could do it in a smart way and I just have to accept that’s what will happen.

I’m still thinking I will go to the studio to cheer people on, especially if any of my friends decide to go for it. But I also know that it will probably be a bit sad and frustrating to watch others do something I wanted to do and know I just can’t join in. I know this won’t be my last chance. They do the Dri-Tri every 6 months or so, so I just need to focus on being ready to do it then and not missing out on the one now.

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Time For A Booster Shot (or Getting Through My Normal Side Effects)

Posted on September 13, 2022 | Comments Off on Time For A Booster Shot (or Getting Through My Normal Side Effects)

I’m never excited to get a shot or have anything done that involves needles. Needles are probably always going to be something that is tough for me to deal with and I always hate how fearful I get going to the doctor or having blood drawn and knowing what could happen. I’m lucky that I’m not fainting the way I used to, but I do still have this weird blackout thing where I tense up my body and hold my breath. It only lasts a few seconds, but it’s still exhausting to go through. And with vaccines, I have the added annoyance of always having a reaction to them. I can’t remember the last vaccine I got that didn’t give me some side effects. I don’t mind since I know it means I’m building immunity, but it’s something else I have to think about when I time getting a vaccine. 

I think the only time I had a bit more excitement for a shot than fear was for the first Covid vaccine. But that was because I was so tired of being isolated and alone and that vaccine felt like the light at the end of the tunnel. And it was a big change for how I feel being around others, but it wasn’t the ending I think so many of us had hoped for. Because of vaccine hesitancy for whatever reason, not enough people were vaccinated to prevent new mutations from popping up. And those new mutations were able to get around the vaccines. I know that the vaccines still work because they don’t necessarily prevent illness but prevent serious illness and death. And I have had multiple friends test positive for Covid since being vaccinated and they all had very mild cases. So I have been staying on top of the news about vaccines and boosters. 

I got my first Covid booster in November last year. And I became eligible to get a second booster over the summer, but I actually waited on getting it. I knew that there would be a new booster soon that helped with the new varients, and I didn’t want to get the old booster and then need to wait longer for the new one. So I just have been very careful about who I have been around and making sure that I’m wearing a mask when I’m in large gatherings. 

But the new booster finally became available this past week, so I went about getting myself an appointment as soon as possible. I have only gotten vaccinations through Kaiser for my entire life. Even for the flu, I get the vaccine at a hospital or medical center. It’s just easy to do that since it’s automatically on my medical record. But when I looked into getting the booster at Kaiser, they didn’t have it available just yet. And since I didn’t want to keep waiting, I decided to look at the CVS near my house and found out that not only did they offer it, they had appointments available. So I booked one for this past Friday, knowing that I would probably have a reaction to the vaccine like I always do and would have the weekend to recover. 

Making the appointment was super easy, but when I got there I guess it was the first day that they were offering the new booster because there was a decent line. It went quickly and I was only waiting for about 45 minutes, but it took me by surprise since I thought not too many people would get a vaccine in the middle of a weekday. But I guess everyone had the same thought and did it during their lunch break. 

Since I know I have my blackouts, I warned the nurse there so she wouldn’t freak out. She made another nurse come to stand there in case I fully passed out, but fortunately, I didn’t and I just had my blackout for a few seconds. But they told me afterward that it was really crazy to see it happen and if I hadn’t warned them they would have been frightened. I’ve never been told that before, but I guess it does look odd. 

I had to wait at CVS for a bit to make sure I didn’t have any severe reactions, but I wasn’t worried about that since I’ve never had a severe reaction. And when I was home, I felt pretty ok for a few hours. But then a few hours later, some of the side effects started to kick in. At first, it was just a foggy head and some body aches. Nothing too severe and actually pretty mild compared to some other vaccines. But on Saturday, I got a bit worse. This felt much more like what happens when I get a flu vaccine. I had a fever, more body aches, and my head felt like it weighed a million pounds. But I only had to work for a few hours that day and then I spend the rest of the day resting. I slept a lot and on Sunday I was starting to do better.

I still have swollen lymph nodes and a bit of a headache, but I think I’m finally over the hill with side effects. And while they are annoying to deal with, I know that getting Covid would be so much worse. This is the smart thing for me to do to protect myself and to protect those around me. I will still keep my same habits of wearing a mask and being selective when I’m in big crowds for now. I want to see how the numbers look for cases as it gets colder here and it’s when more people seem to be getting sick. I’ll be getting my flu vaccine soon too, so I’ll be protected against that as well. And hopefully, with both these vaccines, I will continue to stay healthy and the weekend of side effects will be totally worth it. 

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Default ThumbnailFinally Feeling Normal Again (or These Side Effects Surprised Me) Default ThumbnailLooking Forward To Another Shot (or Ready For A Booster) Default ThumbnailFinally Getting My Booster (or Feeling A Little Safer) Default ThumbnailGetting Ready For A Booster (or I’m So Glad Vaccines Are Starting To Be Required) Default ThumbnailSome New Medication Side Effects (or At Least I Know How To Handle This) Default ThumbnailGuess Stopping The Medication Was The Right Choice (or Maybe I Should Have Read More Into The Side Effects)

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Ending Some Pain and Starting Other Pain (or At Least I’m Stocked Up)

Posted on August 31, 2022 | Comments Off on Ending Some Pain and Starting Other Pain (or At Least I’m Stocked Up)

I was just starting to feel better after dealing with monthly pain and nausea at the beginning of this week. The type of pain I feel each month is very specific pain and it’s not like any other pain that I feel. I might be lucky that I only deal with that pain for part of the month every month, but unfortunately, I pretty much deal with pain on a daily basis in other ways.

Even though my hip pain is so much better than it was before I had my hip surgery, I’m still in at least a little bit of pain every day. Some days the pain is more like a dull pressure and that’s really easy for me to deal with and I don’t worry about managing it. Other days, I worry that this could be the start of things needing to be operated on again because the pain is so severe. I’m lucky that I have been dealing with this pain for over a decade so I have some great tools I can use to manage it. I don’t always take medication as the first option because I know that doesn’t always work and often I have to be really on top of scheduling when I can take things. I have different stretches that can help and usually that will take the edge off of things. I also have some over-the-counter things I can use.

Because pain is a daily part of my life, when I’m dealing with pain every month I can try some of the methods I use for my hip pain. It doesn’t always work, but it’s good to have options. And when I have other random pain that comes up, I usually have some good ideas of what I can use and try.

And as the monthly pain was easing up at the beginning of the week, I did something to my lower back or hip and it’s pretty painful. I’ve dealt with this before and it’s likely some sort of pulled muscle or spasm. I know it’s different from my hip pain because joint pain and muscle pain feel very different to me. It doesn’t mean it’s not painful, it’s just a different type of pain. But pain is pain and I’m lucky that I’ve been working through pain for so long so I’m pretty prepared.

I am still going to my workouts, but I just have to be careful and make sure that nothing I’m doing will make me hurt worse. I’m good about paying attention to my body when it comes to pain, so this isn’t too tough for me to do. And while I’m working, I’ve been using different pain creams and heat pads to help make sure that sitting for several hours won’t cause more pain. So far, it’s only been a few days of dealing with this new back pain and I know it will probably take a few more days before it’s gone. But I’m hoping that it continues to ease through the next few days so it won’t be as severe.

But if it sticks around longer or is severe longer, I do know I’m prepared for this. If I have to take some painkillers, I have options because of what I take for my hip. Even though my hip pain is joint pain, dealing with it can cause muscle pain on the other side when I’m compensating for things so I do have a lot of over-the-counter muscle pain options. The plug-in heat pad I use for cramps is the perfect size to have against the back of my chair and I can plug it in at my desk and not worry about it losing the heat.

It does suck that I had a new pain start just as another type of pain ended, but at least I know I’m prepared to deal with this and it will pass. This is temporary and I know I can tolerate it. And hopefully, soon enough I will only have my normal pain to deal with and I can feel much better than I do now.

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First Therapy Appointment At My New Home (or Seeing What Other Options Are Out There)

Posted on August 17, 2022 | Comments Off on First Therapy Appointment At My New Home (or Seeing What Other Options Are Out There)

Because I only see my therapist every 6 months or so right now, my last appointment was before my move. I knew I was going to be moving and the renovation had started when I had my last appointment, but I didn’t know when I’d be moving in and didn’t know that the renovation would take as long as it did.  Realizing that the last appointment was before I moved makes it seem like it was forever ago, but it was only 6 months ago. But a lot has changed in those 6 months.

I don’t know if this will ever change back, but my appointment with my therapist this week was another video appointment. I’m actually ok with keeping them video appointments so I don’t have to worry about taking time off of work to drive there and back. And since they are pretty basic check-in appointments, I don’t think I need to be there in person for anything.

And as always, my appointment this time went pretty smoothly. We talked a bit about my move and the renovation. I also showed off my office space a little since it’s very different on camera than what my living room looked like before. And she agreed that even if you are only moving a few blocks away as I did, moving is still very stressful and exhausting. I feel like I’m finally recovering from moving, but I also still feel like I have so much more work to do.

And I was honest with her that my food wasn’t so great during the stress of moving. I think she understood and I explained that I have been working to get things back to normal for me and not let the stress get to me the way it did during the move. I don’t have a scale right now, but I can tell with how my clothes are fitting that I’m back to what my weight was before or perhaps a bit lower. I am debating about getting a scale again because I do see the pros and cons of having one. For now, I’m ok without one and I think that’s ok since I’m using clothes to be mindful of things.

As always, the main part of my appointment was to discuss my medications. I’m good with the medication that I’m currently taking and I do feel like it still makes a difference. It’s not a miracle cure that makes everything easier for me, but it is a helpful tool. But I wanted to ask about some other medications that I’ve been hearing about more that can help as well. I know there are always new medications out there and some are weird off-label situations, but the ones I’ve been hearing about are FDA approved to help. The main downside to them is that they are medications that have to be injected. They come in injection pens, so that makes it easier, but I still hate needles no matter what and I don’t love the idea of having to give myself shots. But I’m also willing to try what is out there to see what might work.

So I brought up the new medication options out there and my therapist agrees they might help. But because they are more focused on weight loss or weight management and not treating an eating disorder, she could not prescribe it to me. It would need to come from another doctor who specializes in that. So she put in a referral for me to meet with someone in the bariatric department. I know they will probably discuss weight loss surgery with me, but I’m really not interested in surgery. I’ve heard too many negative side effects and I don’t know if there would be anything that changes my mind. But this department also deals with medications that help with weight, so whether it would be one of the medications I heard of or something else, maybe I’ll start something new soon that will help me more. As I said, I just have to try and see what works for me and this is another step to do that.

After my therapist set up the referral for me, we set my next appointment with her for 6 months from now. Maybe I’ll have some big updates or changes if the referral appointment goes well. Or maybe I’ll have progress another way in 6 months. I’ll just have to wait and see what happens and continue to try the best that I can as long as I can.

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Unexpected Help From Having Better A/C (or Surviving Another Gallbladder Attack)

Posted on August 16, 2022 | Comments Off on Unexpected Help From Having Better A/C (or Surviving Another Gallbladder Attack)

I used to have gallbladder attacks pretty frequently. I’ve been lucky that they have decreased quite a bit and I haven’t had surgery to take it out. I was planning on having it removed when I had my liver surgery, but when that got canceled I decided not to look into still having surgery just for my gallbladder. I would have kept my liver surgery date and had my gallbladder out at that time (and have the smaller tumors removed), but I didn’t want to do a surgery if I could avoid it. And after discovering about my tumors, my attacks weren’t happening as often.

What we think happened was when my tumors were big, they were compressing other organs so my gallbladder had less space and the attacks could be triggered a lot easier. But now that my liver isn’t pressing on other things, my gallbladder is a normal size and shape and while I still have gallstones they aren’t causing attacks the way they used to. I think every follow-up MRI I’ve had included a note about having gallstones. But as long as it’s not bothering me, I’m ok for now.

I have had a few attacks in the past few years, but they really don’t happen that often and I have found that they aren’t as severe as they used to be. They are still awful and there are moments I feel like I’m dying, but instead of lasting half the day, they are usually over within an hour or two. And I do have ways I can try to manage the pain and just get through the attack.

I had a random attack over the weekend and it’s been months since my last one. I really was trying to think of the last time I had one and I couldn’t remember it. But there’s no way to forget the pain, especially when it hits again. I don’t know what caused it because I hadn’t eaten anything that should have triggered an attack. But I had all the horrible symptoms and just tried to lay down and rest so I could get through it.

One of the symptoms I have when I’m having a gallbladder attack is feeling like I’m having a heat flash or fever. It feels like I’m burning up and I can’t stop sweating. I have always had a fan next to my bed, and whenever I have had an attack I put the fan on high and have it right next to me to cool me down. But this was the first time I had an attack since living at my new place and I have central a/c instead of a little window unit. I’ve already been loving having central a/c, plus the way my condo is situated, things don’t get as hot as they did in my old place. And as I was laying on my bed with my fan next to me, I lowered the thermostat on my a/c to make sure it went on and stayed on for a bit. And as soon as the a/c started and cooled down my room, I started to feel a lot better. The pain was still really intense and I was dizzy and feeling like I would pass out (which is normal for me with a gallbladder attack), but not feeling like I’m burning up really did help. I don’t know if it was really making me feel better or just giving me something else to focus on with cold air hitting my body. But it made getting through this recent attack a lot easier.

This attack I had only lasted about an hour, which sounds like a long time when you feel like you are dying. But compared to what my attacks used to be like, this was much easier. I was able to recover from the attack pretty quickly and get a few more things done with my day instead of needing the rest of the day to recover. I did still feel weak for a few more hours, but it was much more manageable compared to what it’s been like before. I know that it could be that this attack just wasn’t as bad as others have been, but I really do think having the a/c helped me. And I never expected that to be something I could have used when I’ve been having attacks before. I knew it would be nice, but I underestimated how much it would help.

Hopefully, I won’t have another gallbladder attack for quite a while. I would love it if I only had them maybe once a year or less. I do try to eat things that I know won’t cause attacks, but I think some of the ones I have had are just random because I can’t figure out the trigger. But even if I have another one soon, at least now I figured out something else that hopefully will help me get through the attack and make it a bit more tolerable.

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Still Panicking More At The Dentist (or Working On Staying Calm When I Can)

Posted on July 28, 2022 | Comments Off on Still Panicking More At The Dentist (or Working On Staying Calm When I Can)

My panic issues at the dentist have been happening for as long as I can remember. But it seemed for a while that things were finally getting better. I still hated having to go and would be very fearful of what bad news I might hear, but I was managing things a lot better and didn’t feel like I was having a big panic attack like I used to. For a while, I think the fear of getting sick combined with my usual dental concerns were making things worse. But I can never be sure and I just had to tolerate things the best that I could.

I was back at the dentist this week. I had my normal cleaning plus I needed to do the x-rays that I didn’t do the last time I was there. I should have made a note in my calendar that I was doing x-rays as well because I honestly forgot that I was going to do those until I got there. Doing x-rays always adds to my panic because that’s when the dentist can really see if there are any issues that need to be fixed. But they have to be done and I know avoiding anything at the dentist just means that it will be worse for me down the line.

I was quickly brought back to do my x-rays and the process was ok. I don’t like the devices you have in your mouth while doing them, so I always ask the assistant to tell me when I can take them out of my mouth so I don’t have to wait on them. There were a few issues with some of the x-rays needing to be redone, but it wasn’t that bad. Then I was supposed to see the dentist to review the x-rays and start the cleaning.

But I guess there was an issue with another patient taking much longer than expected because there was some juggling around to put people in the right place and I had to wait a bit longer than normal to meet with the dentist. This was a bit different than what it’s been like recently since they haven’t had multiple patients in the office at one time due to the pandemic. But there was only one other person so it wasn’t like it was crowded.  And fortunately, because my dentist knows how bad my panic attacks are, she looked at my x-rays and came over to tell me that there were no cavities or anything else to worry about before she went back to finish up with the other patient. That was a nice thing for her to do so I didn’t have to keep waiting and freaking out that I would be told something horrible. It also didn’t help that I had an extremely creepy bad tooth dream the night before and that was freaking me out.

Once it was finally time for my cleaning, the dentist confirmed with me again that everything was looking ok with my teeth. Nothing needed to be repaired and there was no damage that was concerning. I still have the same issues with my teeth that I always do and that makes my cleanings a bit more intense than a normal cleaning, but it wasn’t worse than what my cleanings are normally like. And even though I was shaking and panicking throughout the cleaning, I just tried to focus on breathing and I do other things to try to distract my mind. I knew that there was nothing wrong with my teeth, but I still worry that something will be discovered that wasn’t seen before. I don’t think my panic goes away until I’m getting up from the chair and heading to the front to pay.

I don’t know if or when my panic attacks at the dentist will start getting better again. I don’t know what it will take to put me at ease again because I think I will always fear that I will need something major done. And that is my reality because when you have genetically bad teeth, it’s not if but when that will happen. But I do know that I’m doing pretty much everything I can to prevent that or to make sure that the major work isn’t worse than it needs to be. I guess I will see in 4 months before my next appointment how bad my panic attacks are and continue to do what I need to do and hope for the best!

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Feeling More Like Myself (or I Know Getting Back On Track Takes Time)

Posted on July 22, 2022 | Comments Off on Feeling More Like Myself (or I Know Getting Back On Track Takes Time)

As I wrote a few days ago, I was dealing with some really bad days with my eating disorder. They were rough and I really felt low, both mentally and physically. I knew that my eating disorder could affect me in really extreme ways, but I really hadn’t dealt with those issues until this past weekend. And even though I recognized that I was dealing with some bad days and working my way out of them, I knew it would likely take some time because things can’t always bounce back quickly.

Getting back to eating regularly was something I could start working on right away, but the effects of having a few days without eating well are still with me. I’m feeling weak from time to time and my food schedule is still off. I have used alarms in the past to remind myself to eat, but I don’t always use them. But I knew that I needed to set them back up now so I wouldn’t go through the day without thinking about it. I still don’t always eat when I know I should, but at least I am being reminded about mealtimes. And I do try to figure out something I could eat either when I should eat or have something ready to eat in an hour or so. I am lucky that I never had issues with remembering to drink water, so I haven’t had the side effects you can get from dehydration. But not eating well really takes a toll on your body and I am still feeling some of them.

I knew that feeling more rested would take longer. You can’t really catch up on missed sleep, plus I don’t have that many days I can sleep in each week. I really can only sleep in a bit on Tuesdays and Sundays, but because I get up so early every other day I rarely sleep in that late. But I have been making more of a conscious effort to get to bed sooner and not stay up late watching tv or doing other things. I know that my tv shows can wait until the next day or later that week, so if it’s time I should start getting ready for bed and I’m in the middle of a show, I’m better about just pausing it and turning off the tv. I can get back to them later and I know that getting more sleep will benefit me more in my life. And fortunately, the issues I was having with not being able to sleep or stay asleep have almost gone away. I do still wake up during the night occasionally, but I am not struggling as much as I did at the beginning of the week with falling asleep or going back to sleep. So even if I’m not getting as many hours of sleep as I should, it’s now more consistent sleep during the night.

But what I think is the most important part about getting back to feeling normal is that I am not being hard on myself. I can’t expect perfection, especially when I’m working on getting over some tough days. As much as I would have liked for it to be like a light switch and for things to instantly get better, I am being patient with myself and not looking at these lingering issues as reasons to give up. I know that I will get back to feeling normal eventually, but it will take time. And being upset with myself wouldn’t make things faster, so there’s no point in feeling that way.

Hopefully, I will just continue to feel more and more normal again and I don’t have any new setbacks, but I also know that additional setbacks are always possible. But I’m working on staying optimistic and doing what I can to get over the rough days I went through earlier this week so I can move on to better days.

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