Tag Archives: gratitude

Focusing On Gratitude (or This Probably Could Have Been My Thanksgiving Post)

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! I’ll write more about my day later, but I spent the day on my own, which is fine. But being alone for most of the day did allow me to reflect on things in my life. And in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I focused a lot on what I was grateful for in my life.

I write a gratitude list every day at the end of the day. I just write 5 things that I’m grateful for that day. Sometimes I have some really awesome things to be grateful for. On other days, it seems like I don’t have much positive in my day and I have to remember how lucky I am to have some basic things in my life. On the days that I struggle to think of what I’m grateful for, my list usually has things like my job, the books I’m reading, or the tv shows I’m enjoying.

I think focusing on what I’m grateful for every day is important because it always allows me to end my day on a positive note. And it forces me to reflect on the good in my life and what I have that other people wished they had. And I wanted to share some of the big things I’m very grateful for.

I’m very grateful for my family, both my immediate family and my extended family. I know that not everyone is close to their family or knows their extended family. But I am lucky that I get to see part of my family every year. At Fake Thanksgiving, there were 3 generations of the family there. I don’t get to see some of my extended family as much as I would like because they live on the other side of the country. But I am able to stay in touch with them through social media or texting. And I know that I’m closer to my parents than a lot of people are. I’m very lucky that they have always supported me. And yes, they did help out financially before such as with my condo, but I appreciate their emotional support so much too. I know I don’t have the most traditional life or career path, but they have never tried to make me change what I wanted out of life.

And speaking of my family, I’m so grateful for my condo. I know that I never could have had this place without my parents helping me. But it’s not just being able to have this place that I’m grateful for. I have worked on turning this space into my home and I’m so happy with how things look so far. Living in a space that makes you feel happy and you are comfortable is very important. I haven’t always had that in my living space. In my first apartment, it was fine when I moved in but I became very uncomfortable living there due to situations with my neighbors and because the setup made it have no privacy and it was always very hot inside. So I know what it’s like living somewhere that you don’t want to be. But that’s not the case for my place now. It wasn’t the case for my last place either, but I’m even more comfortable here than I was there.

I’m very grateful for my friends. Like many people, I had a lot of friends leave the area in the past few years. But we have been able to keep up with our friendship and I have been able to rekindle past friendships that had slipped into being more acquaintances than friends. I still have times when I feel like I have no friends left here, but those moments are fleeting and I usually have something coming up in my schedule that allows me to spend time with my friends so I’m reminded that’s not true.

I’m grateful for my day jobs. I’m still juggling 2 jobs right now, and I think that’s probably what I will do for the foreseeable future. It’s not an issue with either job (and they both know that I’m working another job) and I think everyone would do the same if it helped them make more money. I am making more than I did before and I’m in a better financial spot. I still have things that I can’t afford and have to save for, but I know no matter how much I make that will be the case. But more importantly than how much I make, I am enjoying my work. I still would prefer to be acting, but to have day jobs that I enjoy is something rare. I don’t love everything every day, but I’ve never enjoyed work as much as I do now. I feel heard and respected and my ideas are considered and not ignored. I have been able to create my own job position at my main day job and it allows me to do work that uses my skill set instead of making me conform to someone who I’m not.

And the last big thing I’m grateful for is a very general thing. I’m just so grateful for my life. I get to do things I enjoy. I mostly spend my time doing what I want to do and not what I have to do. As much as I wish I wasn’t single, I’m grateful that I’m not in a bad relationship or putting up with someone who doesn’t treat me the way I should be treated. I don’t always love getting up as early as I do, but I love working out in the morning and feeling so strong all day. And I am working on some health things still, but I think that I’m healthier now than I’ve ever been. I know I’m not the thinnest I’ve been, but I also know that when I was at my thinnest, I didn’t have the same strength that I do now. I think enjoying your life is a privilege and I know I’m lucky that I feel that way. I still know that I want some things to be different, but I also appreciate my current life situation and know that it’s for the best for me at this time.

When I look back at my past, especially the negative part of my past, I wonder how much better I could have made my life if I focused on what I was grateful for. I know that even in some of my lowest times, there were positives in my life. But thinking back at those times, I really can’t remember any because my memories are just the negatives. But I’m glad that is not how I live my life anymore. I know that things aren’t perfect, but I can always be grateful and appreciate everything that I do have going on in my life.

Happy 4th (or Taking The Day To Be Grateful For What I Have)

For those of you in the US, Happy 4th of July (Happy Thursday for anyone outside of the US)! I’m very lucky that I have today off of work so I’m spending the day relaxing and enjoying a nice day off. I’ll be sharing more about what I do today next week, but I wanted to have a quick post today about being grateful for today and this holiday.

I know that I am very lucky to live in this country. I can enjoy freedoms that not everyone has and I know that I am privileged compared to many others even if I feel like I struggle. I have a wonderful house, a job, food in my fridge, running water, electricity, and many other things that so many of us forget are not standards for everyone around the world. I do have to remind myself about how lucky I am sometimes because I forget that when I’m in a low moment. But most of the time, I do appreciate everything that I have.

It does feel like some of the freedoms we have are under attack right now, but I’m grateful that so many people continue to fight for them. I am trying to be an advocate for others to have the right to choose what they feel is best for their health or their political representation. Even if someone disagrees with what I think is best for me, they have the right to make that choice for themselves and I want them to have every opportunity to make that choice. And I am grateful that we live in a country where we can have these political differences and for the most part live in peace.

I’m so grateful for the community that I surround myself with. I have the most amazing friends in my life and they do make so much about my life better. Even if I’m not always the most social person, they make my life awesome. Just the text messages I get from my friends make me smile and always help to turn around any bad moments I’m having. I know that sometimes I’m not the best friend when I’m having a tough time, but they are still there for me when I need them. And I try to return the favor to any of them when they need a boost or some cheering up.

Hopefully, all of you have some things to be grateful for as well. Even if you don’t have today off or are having a rough time in life, there should still be something good happening. And it’s nice to have holidays and moments like this to be able to reflect on those and remember how lucky we all are.

Day Trip To San Diego (or Driving Disasters)

This past Saturday I went down to San Diego to spend the day with my grandparents. I hadn’t seen them since Thanksgiving, so I was way overdue for a trip down there.

The drive from my house to my grandparents’ place usually takes exactly 2 hours from my door to their door. There’s always a little traffic, but I usually can time out my drives to be when there’s the least traffic.

My drive down was pretty bad. From my house until Disneyland I was going at full speed. Then all of a sudden, traffic was ridiculous. I averaged about 20-30mph for the rest of the drive. It took me 4 hours to get there, and once I did arrive I was pretty exhausted.

As soon as I got to San Diego I picked up my grandpa to take him to the grocery store. That was a very easy and quick errand and we were back to my grandparents’ place within 30 minutes. Then I got to spend some nice quality time with my grandparents just chatting about anything.

We discussed my job situation, Tucker (who my grandparents haven’t met yet), politics, and lots of other random stuff. What I found most interesting was my grandpa talking about his time in WWII and the Korean War. I only learned recently that he was in WWII (it’s not something that’s ever really ever been discussed in my family) and I only learned on Saturday about my grandpa being a part of the Korean War. I know that my grandpa has been working on a book of all of his stories, and I really hope that he gets to finish it. There are so many things about him that I don’t know.

I also got to go to dinner with my grandparents. It was nice, but nothing too fancy. After dinner, it was time for me to drive home.

There was no traffic on the road when I started so I figured I’d be home in 2 hours.

Wrong.

After about 30 minutes of driving, my car chimed and in the dash it had a warning that said something like “Hot Engine Temperature”. I’ve had this warning once before and it went away after a minute of driving a little less aggressively. So I thought it might be the case again. Instead, after a few minutes of driving, the car chimed again and the warning now said “Stop Car Now”.

It’s never a good sign when your car says to stop. I pulled over to the shoulder of the freeway and then my car shut off by itself. The first thing I did was call my parents. I’m not sure what they could have done from a distance, but that’s my reaction when anything bad happens.

My dad told me to tell my car cool down for a minute and then to drive to an exit and get a tow back to LA. Fortunately, when my parents renewed my AAA membership they got me AAA Plus. That allowed me to get up to 100 miles of free towing (my old membership only had 5 miles of free towing).

When I called AAA, the guy who answered the phone knew exactly where I was from my description (it was an abandoned parking lot off of an exit near Camp Pendleton) so he could give the tow truck very clear directions for me.

Then I had to wait about 90 minutes for the truck to arrive. I tried to not be too upset or mad because I didn’t know what was wrong with my car but I was pretty sure I didn’t do anything to cause it. At least I had a nice view from the place I was waiting.

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The tow truck finally arrived and I’ll admit that it was a little sad watching my car get put onto the tow bed.

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2 hours riding in the tow truck later (which by the way I had the most awesome tow truck driver, Bob), I was home and my car was being unloaded.

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I was able to drive my car into my driveway and when I did the warnings had all gone away. But I knew that there was something wrong with my car and I didn’t want to drive it until it was fixed.

Fortunately, I found a repair shop close to my house and open on Sunday! It’s called Fix Car Now and they have a couple of different locations. I took my car in Sunday at 8am and the shop gave me a ride back home so I didn’t have to wait there. At 9am I found out that the water pump cooling system for my hybrid motor (the electric motor, not the gas one) was broken. It’s a known issue for my car so they were able to get parts for it pretty easily.

It took until yesterday for them to finish my car, but I did get my car back and it’s running even better than before. My car had issues over the past few years switching from the gas engine to the electric engine. But now that my car was fixed, it’s switching as quickly as it did when I got it!

The lesson in all of this for me was to stay focused on positives and being grateful even when things seem to suck. I’ve owned my car since 2008 (I got it used) and besides having a dead battery once (the normal battery, not the hybrid one), this is the first problem I’ve ever had with this car. And since I’m not working yet, my parents were willing to help me the cost of this repair. And while I was sitting in the tow truck really mad about everything, I tried to find a really good positive about this situation. The one I came up with was technically the tow ride was saving me gas money since I didn’t drive my car home.

Even in the worst circumstances there’s always something positive you can focus on. Even if it’s something small or stupid, that’s what I need to think about and not all the negative things.

Being Grateful (or Maybe I Am One of the Lucky Ones)

I’ve been working very hard at being grateful for things in my life. I’ve never been a really ungrateful person, but I always referred to myself as an unlucky person.

I felt that I was unlucky due to certain circumstances that I can’t change. I inherited most of the bad stuff from my parents. I got my dad’s bad teeth, both of my parents’ bad vision, the obesity gene from both my parents, and it even turned out my hip problem was something I was born with. And the job that I’ve dreamed of doing my entire life is not a job that guarantees success (unlike my brother who has always wanted to be a doctor). A lot of these things have caused me to be in the place I am right now.

But things could be worse. I know people battling cancer and trying to find a treatment that works. I’ve had a few friends recently miscarry their babies. I have friends who don’t have jobs, who have to give up their apartments, who have to leave LA and move back home because they don’t have any other options.

My health issues are here to stay. Those will never change. Eventually, I will have my left hip fixed and then I don’t have to have the idea of surgery hanging over my head, but even when it’s fixed, it will still be a problem.

But outside of the health issues, I’m lucky. I have an apartment that I love (and I can finally afford the rent without struggling too much). I have a great job where I have fun and can make some really decent money. My boss at my job is awesome and is always open to letting me miss work for appointments, auditions, or classes. I have great friends who love me no matter what size I am. I have amazing agents who believe in me and who I consider not only my agents but my friends. And I’m loving writing my blog, and based on my reader numbers and comments, I think people love reading it too.

I never really thought too much about writing this blog, just that I should do it eventually. Now, I’m so happy writing 5 days a week on here. It’s therapeutic for me, and is helping me along on my journey.

Thank you everyone who is reading this. I still can’t believe that I have readers, but I am beyond grateful for you all because you are keeping me honest. Not just honest with you, but honest with myself.