Tag Archives: grateful

Focusing On Gratitude (or This Probably Could Have Been My Thanksgiving Post)

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! I’ll write more about my day later, but I spent the day on my own, which is fine. But being alone for most of the day did allow me to reflect on things in my life. And in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I focused a lot on what I was grateful for in my life.

I write a gratitude list every day at the end of the day. I just write 5 things that I’m grateful for that day. Sometimes I have some really awesome things to be grateful for. On other days, it seems like I don’t have much positive in my day and I have to remember how lucky I am to have some basic things in my life. On the days that I struggle to think of what I’m grateful for, my list usually has things like my job, the books I’m reading, or the tv shows I’m enjoying.

I think focusing on what I’m grateful for every day is important because it always allows me to end my day on a positive note. And it forces me to reflect on the good in my life and what I have that other people wished they had. And I wanted to share some of the big things I’m very grateful for.

I’m very grateful for my family, both my immediate family and my extended family. I know that not everyone is close to their family or knows their extended family. But I am lucky that I get to see part of my family every year. At Fake Thanksgiving, there were 3 generations of the family there. I don’t get to see some of my extended family as much as I would like because they live on the other side of the country. But I am able to stay in touch with them through social media or texting. And I know that I’m closer to my parents than a lot of people are. I’m very lucky that they have always supported me. And yes, they did help out financially before such as with my condo, but I appreciate their emotional support so much too. I know I don’t have the most traditional life or career path, but they have never tried to make me change what I wanted out of life.

And speaking of my family, I’m so grateful for my condo. I know that I never could have had this place without my parents helping me. But it’s not just being able to have this place that I’m grateful for. I have worked on turning this space into my home and I’m so happy with how things look so far. Living in a space that makes you feel happy and you are comfortable is very important. I haven’t always had that in my living space. In my first apartment, it was fine when I moved in but I became very uncomfortable living there due to situations with my neighbors and because the setup made it have no privacy and it was always very hot inside. So I know what it’s like living somewhere that you don’t want to be. But that’s not the case for my place now. It wasn’t the case for my last place either, but I’m even more comfortable here than I was there.

I’m very grateful for my friends. Like many people, I had a lot of friends leave the area in the past few years. But we have been able to keep up with our friendship and I have been able to rekindle past friendships that had slipped into being more acquaintances than friends. I still have times when I feel like I have no friends left here, but those moments are fleeting and I usually have something coming up in my schedule that allows me to spend time with my friends so I’m reminded that’s not true.

I’m grateful for my day jobs. I’m still juggling 2 jobs right now, and I think that’s probably what I will do for the foreseeable future. It’s not an issue with either job (and they both know that I’m working another job) and I think everyone would do the same if it helped them make more money. I am making more than I did before and I’m in a better financial spot. I still have things that I can’t afford and have to save for, but I know no matter how much I make that will be the case. But more importantly than how much I make, I am enjoying my work. I still would prefer to be acting, but to have day jobs that I enjoy is something rare. I don’t love everything every day, but I’ve never enjoyed work as much as I do now. I feel heard and respected and my ideas are considered and not ignored. I have been able to create my own job position at my main day job and it allows me to do work that uses my skill set instead of making me conform to someone who I’m not.

And the last big thing I’m grateful for is a very general thing. I’m just so grateful for my life. I get to do things I enjoy. I mostly spend my time doing what I want to do and not what I have to do. As much as I wish I wasn’t single, I’m grateful that I’m not in a bad relationship or putting up with someone who doesn’t treat me the way I should be treated. I don’t always love getting up as early as I do, but I love working out in the morning and feeling so strong all day. And I am working on some health things still, but I think that I’m healthier now than I’ve ever been. I know I’m not the thinnest I’ve been, but I also know that when I was at my thinnest, I didn’t have the same strength that I do now. I think enjoying your life is a privilege and I know I’m lucky that I feel that way. I still know that I want some things to be different, but I also appreciate my current life situation and know that it’s for the best for me at this time.

When I look back at my past, especially the negative part of my past, I wonder how much better I could have made my life if I focused on what I was grateful for. I know that even in some of my lowest times, there were positives in my life. But thinking back at those times, I really can’t remember any because my memories are just the negatives. But I’m glad that is not how I live my life anymore. I know that things aren’t perfect, but I can always be grateful and appreciate everything that I do have going on in my life.

Really Being Grateful (or I’m Lucky To Have Support)

While I am a pretty independent person in a lot of ways, in many ways I need to have support. Sometimes that is emotional support and sometimes that is something concrete like financial support. And even while I’ve had a lot of time being isolated for a while, having support and help has really been essential for me.

I am very lucky that I have a lot of friends that I can reach out to when I need help with something. Not all of my friends are able to help with everything, but I have different friends who can help with different things. Some friends are good for helping me figure out a serious situation. Other friends are good for supporting me when I’m really low and need a boost. I have a lot of friends who are great to turn to when I have something annoying happen with me in the dating world and can either give advice or laugh at the ridiculousness that I encounter. Honestly, my friends keep me sane when I feel like some things are out of control. Most of them don’t live near me, but knowing I could text or call someone at any time is reassuring.

And even if I just need a friend to listen to me while I rant and talk something out, that can make a huge difference when I’m having a tough time. Sometimes I just need to say things out loud and know someone is listening to figure out what I want to do. And I’ve learned since the pandemic that I also sometimes just need a reminder that I’m not on my own planet all alone and there are other people around me even if they aren’t in the exact same space as me. I do prefer to hang out with friends in person, but this time has taught me how to find support in other ways and I know that I wasn’t using those skills before.

But for some of the more concrete support I get, I rely on my parents a lot. And I’m aware that I am coming from a place of privilege and this is not something that everyone has. But I am so grateful for all the support they have given to me lately. With the condo search, while they were not able to look at most places with me, they still helped a lot. My mom made sure she was available on FaceTime if I wanted her to see a place that I was looking at. Once we started to do paperwork, they helped me understand a lot of what I was signing (my realtor helped too, but I also didn’t want to bother him with all of my questions). And now that we are planning potential renovations, my mom is helping me plan what I want to do and interviewing contractors.

Honestly, if I was doing this without my parents’ help, I think it would be impossible. Even taking out the financial aspect of it, I have no clue what I’m doing. I’ve only been a renter and even finding a new rental hasn’t been something I always do alone. But with buying a place, there are a million more things to think about and plan for. And if I didn’t have help from my parents, I can see so many ways things could go wrong or that I could make a mistake. Even planning for things like property taxes isn’t something I fully understood. I knew enough to know they happen, but planning for the timeline for the payments and the options for payment aren’t things I thought about before. There are some things that I know I’m doing in a slightly more complicated way than other friends who have bought property, but there are reasons that this will work out better for me in the long run. So I know I could have done this in an easier way, but it might not have been the best way for me.

For all of the times since March 2020 that I have been upset that I feel so alone and isolated, I don’t know if I appreciated the support that I do have. While most people didn’t have the same type of isolation that I had with no physical contact with other people for months at a time, there are people who had total isolation who didn’t have the support that I was lucky enough to have. And I need to remember how lucky I am. It’s not always easy to remember that when things are so low, but I’m getting back into a better time where I can reflect on the positives that I do have in my life. And when I think about it, the luckier I realize I am.

Happy Thanksgiving (or My First Time Celebrating Solo)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I know there is a lot of hard stuff going on in the world right now, but there are still things to be grateful for. I’m very grateful for my health and the health of those I care about. Even though I’ve had multiple friends get sick, most of them have been able to fully recover or almost fully recover. I know that I am very privileged and lucky that this is the case, and I know that this can change at any time. But for now, that’s the biggest thing that I’m grateful for this year.

For my entire life, I have celebrated Thanksgiving with my family. It’s always been 3 or 4 generations together and it’s our big family time each year. This year, we are all celebrating with our own households. So for me, that means I’m celebrating alone.

I’ve never been alone for Thanksgiving before. I think the closest I’ve had to this was the year my parents couldn’t make it for Thanksgiving due to my mom having chemo and I was the only person from my immediate family there. But I was still with aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. I’ve never been without a member of my family for Thanksgiving, but I also know that this is how it has to be. Being separate this year will hopefully allow us all to be together next year and for many years to come. It’s been tough to be ok with this idea, but I know it’s for the best.

I am going to attempt to make a little Thanksgiving for myself today. I’ve never made Thanksgiving food before, so I can’t guarantee that I won’t ruin it and will end up eating a microwave burrito or something. But I’ve decided to try to make a few things. I’ve got sweet potatoes so I can make a sweet potato casserole with pecans and marshmallows, green beans so I can make them with shallots and bacon, and a half turkey breast to roast. I don’t have stuffing or a lot of other things that my family usually has at Thanksgiving (and I don’t think I’ll be making gravy since the only thing I would maybe need it for would be the turkey). I also don’t have any Thanksgiving dessert, but I have some other dessert stuff I can have instead. Hopefully, I can make this food without ruining it and I will feel like I have a taste of Thanksgiving.

I hope that you all are safe and enjoying today. I know that it’s not easy to be happy when many of us are spending today alone when we normally are with family. But I’m trying to spend today focusing on the good and positive and the idea that I will be with my family again soon. And when we are together again, I know we are going to appreciate it so much more than we ever have. If this year has taught us anything, it’s to not take the smallest things for granted. I always assumed that being with my family each year was a guarantee. Now I will appreciate it more and never just think that it’s automatically going to happen.

And maybe next year I’ll have some funny stories to share with my family about how my first attempt at making Thanksgiving on my own goes. If I ruin it, it will be a good story. If I’m successful at it, it will still be a good story and maybe I’ll be able to help out more. No matter what, I’m sure I’ll have something to share with everyone and it will be entertaining.

Happy 4th (or Taking The Day To Be Grateful For What I Have)

For those of you in the US, Happy 4th of July (Happy Thursday for anyone outside of the US)! I’m very lucky that I have today off of work so I’m spending the day relaxing and enjoying a nice day off. I’ll be sharing more about what I do today next week, but I wanted to have a quick post today about being grateful for today and this holiday.

I know that I am very lucky to live in this country. I can enjoy freedoms that not everyone has and I know that I am privileged compared to many others even if I feel like I struggle. I have a wonderful house, a job, food in my fridge, running water, electricity, and many other things that so many of us forget are not standards for everyone around the world. I do have to remind myself about how lucky I am sometimes because I forget that when I’m in a low moment. But most of the time, I do appreciate everything that I have.

It does feel like some of the freedoms we have are under attack right now, but I’m grateful that so many people continue to fight for them. I am trying to be an advocate for others to have the right to choose what they feel is best for their health or their political representation. Even if someone disagrees with what I think is best for me, they have the right to make that choice for themselves and I want them to have every opportunity to make that choice. And I am grateful that we live in a country where we can have these political differences and for the most part live in peace.

I’m so grateful for the community that I surround myself with. I have the most amazing friends in my life and they do make so much about my life better. Even if I’m not always the most social person, they make my life awesome. Just the text messages I get from my friends make me smile and always help to turn around any bad moments I’m having. I know that sometimes I’m not the best friend when I’m having a tough time, but they are still there for me when I need them. And I try to return the favor to any of them when they need a boost or some cheering up.

Hopefully, all of you have some things to be grateful for as well. Even if you don’t have today off or are having a rough time in life, there should still be something good happening. And it’s nice to have holidays and moments like this to be able to reflect on those and remember how lucky we all are.

Happy Thanksgiving! (or Time To Be Grateful)

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope that all of you are having a great day celebrating with whoever you choose to celebrate with. I am with 4 generations of my family (plus the dog) and I will post a recap of my Thanksgiving next week. But for today, I just wanted to do a short post of things I’m thankful for this year. Things have been so negative lately in the country (and the world) so I just wanted to put a little bit of positivity out there.

I’m so grateful for my family. I don’t get to see them that often, but spending time with them at Thanksgiving is very special to me. And this year, I also got to spend time with my dad’s side of my family. I don’t get to see them that often (because they are on the east coast) so it was really wonderful to spend any time I could with them. I’m hoping I can see them more often, but I know that with the difficulty for me to go back east (or for them to come out there) it might be a few more years before I see them again.

I’m beyond grateful for my friends. This year so far could have been a very difficult one for me, but because of my amazing friends that didn’t happen. I’ve had more fun adventures this year than I ever could have imagined and I know that more crazy outings are coming up for the end of this year and through next year.

I am grateful for my health. I’ve had a couple of health setbacks this year (I’ll have an update on my liver tumor next week after I see my liver surgeon again) but they are not life-threatening. Having a tumor isn’t great, but it is far from the worst thing that could be happening to me. And I know that whatever my surgeon says next week about what needs to happen next, it will be ok and I will not have any problems getting through it.

I’m grateful for my eating disorder recovery journey. The journey is not as easy as I would like, but I am seeing progress and things are getting better and easier over time. While I really wanted to be fully in recovery by the end of this year, I know now that it’s not realistic to have a timeline set in my head for recovery. It is coming to me when it comes to me and I just need to keep working on building my recovery skills so I can use them when I’m recovered.

I’m grateful for my fitness. This year, I started to run again. Not only did I start running at Orangetheory, I was doing a really great run/walk interval in my last 5K. And that run/walk plan got me my new PR! But it’s not just running that makes me grateful for my fitness. I’m lifting heavier weights and I’ve noticed that the strength I’m gaining has made more of my day-to-day stuff easier. This is just going to keep improving and I can’t wait to see what’s coming next.

And finally, like I say all the time, I’m grateful for this blog and my readers. This has been a great sounding board for me and I’ve gotten some incredible advice from you all. Thank you for joining me on my journey and hopefully you are all excited to see what the future will bring!

Now go and enjoy your Thanksgiving however you chose to celebrate the day!

What I’m Thankful For (or Happy Thanksgiving!)

I hope that you all are spending Thanksgiving exactly how you want to be. Whether that is with your actual family, with your chosen family, or just hanging out by yourself.

I’m with my family in San Diego right now celebrating but I just want to share with you all what I am thankful for this year.

First of all, I’m very thankful for my family and the fact that I get to be with so many of them today. We are celebrating with 4 generations of the family (plus the dog) and we are only missing a few people who couldn’t make it. We all live crazy lives so it’s a miracle that we can all get together as a family once a year. I’m glad that I have this tradition in my life.

Beyond being thankful for my family in general, I’m so thankful for my parents. We’ve had our fights from time to time, but almost all of the time our relationship is unconditional love. I didn’t realize how lucky I am to have that until an adult when I learned that many people I know didn’t have the same relationship with their parents. I know that they don’t get why I don’t have a “real job”, but they try to understand my passion and they support it.

I’m also super thankful for my friends. So many of my friends have become my family over the years and I don’t know what I would do without them. When I’m having a bad day, they remind me why things are really good in the world. When I need to rant about something stupid, they are there to listen. And when I need to celebrate even the tiniest thing, they are celebrating as much as I am. I try so hard to be as good of a friend to all of my friends as they are to me, but they are all so awesome that I’m not always sure that I can compare.

I’m grateful for my day jobs. Both my day jobs are from referrals and for the most part they are both exactly what I need. I could use a bit more flexibility in one of my jobs, but it hasn’t really caused an issue for me lately. But to be able to work from home and pretty much make enough to get by is such a luxury that I know that many of my actor friends don’t have. So I’m grateful that the friends who got me these jobs considered me when they knew of the job openings.

I’m thankful for my acting class. It’s been tough to get back into improv classes, but each week things are getting better and better for me. I’m feeling more comfortable and like I’m doing the right thing at the right moment for me. I’m still trying to plan out what the future will bring as far as more classes go. But each week I’m leaning more and more toward taking the next level of classes. I’ll just have to see what my schedule looks like in the new year and what my money situation is like.

Finally, I’m thankful for the communities that I’ve been welcomed into or that I’ve created. I’ve had an acting related community around me for a while. But now I have a blogging community and a workout community that I can turn to for support and advice. Those have been so invaluable to me and I know that within those communities I’ve made some lifelong friends.

I’ll do my Thanksgiving recap next week on here. Tomorrow, I’ll be sharing with you all the big gift that my immediate family will be presenting to my extended family at Thanksgiving dinner tonight!

No Guarantees (or A Lesson From “2 Broke Girls”)

The episode of “2 Broke Girls” that aired this Monday was the episode that my mom, my aunt, and I saw being filmed at the taping we went to. And it reminded me of a truth in the entertainment industry: even if you book the job, you never know if your work will ever be seen.

There are always little cuts made to a TV show after they are done taping. Some things need to be cut for time, some things need to be cut due to Standards and Practices, and some things are cut out because they just don’t work in the storyline any more. I’ve always known this reality. TV shows don’t try to hide it. In fact, you can normally see deleted scenes on the DVD extras of a TV show or movie.

But for this particular episode of “2 Broke Girls”, 2 guest star actors had their parts completely cut out. They were both extremely funny, and one of them had an eating gag, which I can related to due to my experience with pizza on the set of this show (yup, that’s me at the end).

But there must have been some reason that that scene had to be cut out of the final product. After watching the episode, I’m not sure what they could have cut in other scenes to include it.

But I can only imagine how sad it was for those actors to see the episode and find out that they were not in it. I’m sure they told their friends and family to watch it. And I know that if it was me, my friends and family would all be watching to see me (they’ve done that sometimes when I’ve done background).

But this is the way that things are in this industry. There are no certainties for anything. You are never guaranteed the audition, the callback, the job, making the cut. I’m still nervous that I might get cut out of the music video that I shot recently. Until that video is released, I’m going to be worried about it.

But those actors who were cut out of the episode were still able to spend a week doing what they loved (and they still got paid in case you were worried about that). And I’m sure after the initial disappointment they were still happy that they got to be chosen to be a part of the show and work a dream job for that week.

I guess part of having no guarantees on anything is making sure that you are grateful for every step that you are given. Be grateful for all the auditions and callbacks even if you didn’t get the job. There are a ton of people who would love to have been given “just” an audition.

I know that I still need to work on being grateful for all the steps that I get to take,  and this was a good reminder for me to stay in a gracious mindset.

Having an Attitude of Gratitude (or What I’m Thankful For)

On Facebook and twitter this month, people are posting one thing every day that they are grateful or thankful for. As much as I would love to put something online every day for 30 days, it’s already the 8th and I’ve never remembered to do it until after the day was over.

So instead, here’s a bunch of things that I’m grateful/thankful for in one lump post.

I’m grateful to have such an amazing family. We have 4 generations on my mom’s side and I’ll get to see almost everyone at Thanksgiving this year (this picture is from last year).

I’m grateful for having such amazing friends who love me no matter what size I am. And they are all so supportive of me in all of my endeavors.

I’m thankful that I’m able to do these things.

I’m thankful that my meals don’t look like this anymore.

I’m super thankful that I can find shoes that don’t hurt my body (these are from Easy Spirit).

I’m thankful that I’ve been able to share a passion project of mine with the world.

I’m so grateful that I have amazing agents who literally have stuck with me thick and thin and get me fun auditions and jobs (this was a PSA I did last year).

And I’m unbelievably grateful and thankful that I live somewhere so beautiful and can enjoy moments in life like this.

What are you thankful and grateful for?