Tag Archives: friends

Friends Helping Friends (or Not Being Afraid To Ask For Support)

Posted on September 19, 2018 | Comments Off on Friends Helping Friends (or Not Being Afraid To Ask For Support)

This is a bit of an update on my friend, but it goes a lot further. My friend who was getting inpatient treatment is now home and all of us who knew what was happening are so happy for them. There are still a lot of uncertain things and some things that are stressing them out about the help that they need, but it is moving forward and I have a strong feeling that things will work themselves out. A lot of things are still in the works and are not necessarily a straight path to success, but they have gotten so much help so far and so many things are much better than they were before.

I mentioned in my previous post that I was able to share what happened with a small group of friends so they could help me out. Doing that was such a huge relieve for me because I could feel like not everything was dependent on me. As much as I always want to help friends and see what I can do, I know I can’t do it alone. I do feel like I show people how much I care by helping them when I can and being there for them. It’s not the only way I show that I care, but it is a bit one. And it also makes me feel needed when I can help someone. So passing it off to another person makes me feel like I’m not doing enough. But I’ve been trying to get better about asking for help because I know that most of the time it is the right thing to do.

But at the same time, asking for help is a difficult thing for me. And it’s a difficult thing for my friend as well. I completely understand the feeling because you don’t necessarily want to put yourself out there. If you ask people for help and nobody gets back to you or can do it, what does that mean about you? What does that mean about your friendship? I understand thinking that you aren’t important enough to people if they can’t help you, even though I know that it’s not the truth. But putting yourself out there is also opening yourself to rejection which is a very scary thing.

After my friend came home, I talked to them and we decided to create a new message group that included all the people from before as well as my friend. That way, they could ask for help from people who know what happened (they have not told everyone yet and I didn’t want them to feel like they needed to do that to ask for help). So we have our new message thread going on where my friend can ask if people have recommendations for things or if they can bring them food. People have been able to step up and help out and I know that my friend really has appreciated it all.

I admire my friend for being strong enough to ask for help when they are in such a vulnerable state. It’s also something that they have struggled with in the past so working on it is such a big step. I hope that asking for help and receiving it will help them know that they are loved and that asking for help can be a good thing, but I also know that feeling that can take a long time. I don’t have the same worries that my friend has, yet I still worry about asking for help because of the feeling of needing something and not getting it. I don’t like to feel like I’m not able to get what I need so I don’t like to rely on someone else.

I should take a note from my friend and work on doing steps to being better about asking for help. I could probably use the same message group that we created for my friend to ask for help for private matters. And I’m trying to be more active about asking for help on social media, even if it’s a silly thing. For example, I needed a tripod holder for my phone and I knew I could easily buy one. But because I’m working on not shopping online, I didn’t just go to Amazon and get one. So I put it on Facebook to my friends to see if anyone could loan me one, and a friend reached out and said I could borrow theirs when I needed it. It was such a simple ask, but it also isn’t what I normally would have done before.

While I continue to encourage my friend to ask for help and to work on being there for them when they need it, I really also want to work on taking my own advice and doing the same thing for myself. I know I have friends who wouldn’t mind helping me if I just asked them to. And if they feel the same sense of being needed by helping others that I do, I should allow them to help me.

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Default ThumbnailI Know The Holidays Can Be Tough (or Trying To Give Support To My Friends) Default ThumbnailFinding Time For Friends (or Busting Out Of My Routine) Default ThumbnailContinuing To Support My Friend’s Place (or Learning New Ways To Help Others) Default ThumbnailFriends Are The Best Mood Booster (or The Difference A Day Makes) Default ThumbnailIt Can Be Tough To Get Help (or Trying To Be A Good Friend To My Friends) Default ThumbnailThe Sorority Nobody Wants To Belong To (or Getting Support From Strangers)

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Cooking At Hipcooks (or Remembering Cooking Doesn’t Have To Be Hard)

Posted on September 12, 2018 | Comments Off on Cooking At Hipcooks (or Remembering Cooking Doesn’t Have To Be Hard)

I’ve written about my struggles with cooking on here several times before. I will probably never understand why cooking is something tough for me to prioritize and do more often, but realizing it may be a struggle for forever has helped me feel a bit better about it. I don’t think I’m a bad cook and I do like cooking, I just don’t do it.

Even though this has been something I’ve struggled to do more often, I’ve never really taken a cooking class to help to motivate me or make cooking more fun. So when my friend Dani asked me if I wanted to join her at Hipcooks for a class, I said yes to see what cooking classes are like there. Dani is a volunteer at Hipcooks, which means that she helps clean up during classes. But she can still participate and she earns free classes by volunteering. And for the summer cocktails and infusions class she was also told that she could have a friend come with her. So I got to check it out for free!

The location is actually very close to my house. I could have walked over if I wanted to, but I decided to drive so I didn’t have to walk home in the dark. And as soon as I got there, I noticed that everything was set up to have everyone work together. I imagined it would be individual stations where people learn to do things, but it was a much more collaborative class. Where we did most of the cooking was around a semi-circle station where the teacher was in the middle and we were all around.

And the table where we would be eating and making cocktails was a big square table. It has the feeling of being a party more than a class.

There was also a menu with all the food and drinks we would be making in class.

While I’m not a big drinker (and I hadn’t really had a drink since my birthday party last year), I was excited to learn how to make different cocktails. I knew that even if I didn’t drink for a long time, a bunch of the drinks could probably be made without alcohol. And they would be new skills that I was going to be learning.

The class had 8 people not counting the instructors and Dani so it felt small but we could also have little groups to work on different things. The cooking at Hipcooks is a collaborative effort and everyone gets to work on different things. For example, I was working on the bruschetta with another student in class while other people worked on a salad and a tart.

The bruschetta was an easy process. The instructor toasted the bread and I took a clove of garlic and rubbed it on the bread. Then we covered that in mascarpone cheese and layered sliced figs and prosciutto on it. It was so easy to do but looked impressive which is the best!

What I loved the best about this class was that there were no recipes and no measuring tools. The idea is that cooking is fun and doesn’t have to be perfect and I love that idea! When we were making wontons we were filling them with goat cheese and avocado. We were just told to fill them and as long as we could seal them closed it was fine. We didn’t have to worry about making sure everything was measured out and precise. It made everything easy and relaxing.

Since the class was a mix of cooking and cocktails we went back and forth between the cooking area and the table where we mixed drinks. The square table had different stations for us to work in for making cocktails and we all worked with a partner. I was partnered up with someone who was in class alone as well and we worked together making the different drinks.

We learned how to do a proper pour of alcohol, how to muddle herbs and fruit, and how to shake a drink using a shaker. I took sips of everything we made and some of them are drinks I know that I would totally make another time.

While we were having our drinks, we also got to eat some of the food we made. The instructor did some of the finishing work or baking things that needed to be baked, but most of the work was done by the students in class.

We went back and forth between cooking and making drinks a few times, but I liked that because it split things up nicely. I never felt like we were making drinks for too long or cooking for so long that I forgot what we made. The class was 3 hours long, but it really felt like it flew by. And although I wasn’t in the most social mood while in class, I did chat with everyone who was there and had a great time. I had a lot weighing on my mind while I was there, and it helped me to put that out of my mind for a bit and have some fun.

I also loved how the group came together over the course of the class. While 4 people in the group were friends and there was another group of 2 friends, but we didn’t all know each other when we started. But at the end of class, it really felt like we were one big group and that we weren’t a collection of strangers in a class together. It was really nice and exactly what I needed when I was not in the best head space.

I seriously loved this class! Not only were the things we made awesome, it really proved to me how flexible cooking can be and helped to take away some of the feelings of needing to be perfect that I know I’ve had when cooking in the past. I’m looking at taking some other classes there since they have so many different types. And I’m also looking into maybe volunteering there so I can do some free classes!

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Default ThumbnailBaby Steps Back To Cooking (or My Check In Kicked My Butt Into Gear) Default ThumbnailAnother Night At Hipcooks (or I’m On Fire!) Default ThumbnailStill Cooking (or It’s Almost A Habit) Default ThumbnailHome Cooking (or Getting Used To Making What I Eat) Default ThumbnailDoing More Cooking (or Maybe It Does Save Time) Default ThumbnailCooking Routine (or Adding Flavor)

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I’m So Glad My Friend Called Me (or Forcing Someone To Get Help)

Posted on September 11, 2018 | 1 comment

As I shared yesterday in my workout recap, something happened in the middle of the week. I have previously written about how I have had some personal experience with depression and some friends who have considered or attempted suicide. These are not easy things to talk about, but it is important to talk about them. There is no reason to be embarrassed if you are struggling and reaching out to get help. But I also know that reaching out to someone to ask for help is not easy. And on Wednesday night, I had a friend reach out to me for something else that turned into me forcing them to get help.

The story of what happened to my friend is not mine to share so I will not be very detailed in what happened. But they called me saying how frustrated they were with work and they actually walked out of work that evening. It was very impulsive and not the behavior I was used to from my friend. A few minutes later in that call, they said they kind of wanted it all to end and to cut their arms.

While this friend has had suicidal thoughts before, I have never heard them share a specific plan they had in mind. They also recently got a new therapist and I didn’t think they would be able to reach them (plus it was late at night). I honestly went into a bit of a panic. Was this someone just being frustrated and venting or was this a cry for help that I needed to take seriously. I realized that I had to do something and I got very forceful with my friend.

I told them that they had 2 options. Either they would drive to a hospital right now and go to an ER or I would call the police on them to have them taken to a hospital. I got very mean to my friend and said I didn’t care which they picked but they were going to have one or the other. And I told them if they picked the hospital that they had to keep me on the phone so I could have proof they went to an ER. I realized after saying that if they decided to hang up on me and go somewhere other than their home, I couldn’t do anything. My friend didn’t talk for a few moments and then told me they were driving to the hospital.

While they were driving, we didn’t talk much. I was trying to stay strong on the phone, but I was crying hysterically. I kept thinking that things could turn so wrong in a moment if my friend decided to do so. I just had to have some faith and trust that they were really driving to the hospital and that I would soon hear the voice of someone in the ER confirming they were there.

After my friend parked, they found a security guard to help them find the ER. I was on the phone, but there was no talking happening. And what felt like forever later I finally heard the voice of a woman in the ER confirming my friend was there and safe. My friend had to hang up the phone to check in, and when the phone call ended I completely lost it.

I knew that this was a risky time for my friend and I’m so lucky that not only they called me and admitted what they were thinking but I am lucky I didn’t miss their phone call. I have been thinking of the alternative scenarios in my head and I know they are all bad. I tried reaching out to friends to talk to but it was very late at night and most people were asleep. My friend called me from the ER asking if I could drive to where they were to move their car because they parked in the wrong area. Fortunately, before I had to make that drive, another friend got back to me and was able to do it. I didn’t feel like I could drive 30 minutes each way with how upset I was. I am so grateful for the friend who lived closer to the hospital to do it.

Even though I knew I did the right thing, I still questioned it. What if my friend wasn’t really going to harm themselves and I was overreacting? What if I just forced them to do something they didn’t need and they will have a huge hospital bill to deal with now? I was able to talk to a friend that night to talk this out with and they just tried to keep telling me that I will never regret helping someone if they didn’t need it but I would regret not helping if they did need it.

I didn’t sleep much that night because I just couldn’t stop thinking. But I had to come to the conclusion that my friend might be very upset with me for various reasons but I would be ok having a friend alive and angry with me and not ok with a friend who was dead. I knew intellectually that I made the right decision, but emotionally I struggled with it.

I heard from my friend later that day. They were being released from the ER and being sent to a mental health facility for a few days to get treatment. They didn’t go into the specifics of what was happening and I don’t know if they knew them at the time. They just sounded scared and confused but called me to update me. They also told me of some other things they might need help with and gave me permission to talk about it with a few of our mutual friends to see who could help.

Being able to tell other people what was happening helped me a lot. The weight of everything was no longer on my shoulders and I could talk things through with others. I know that what my friend was going through was much more intense than what I experienced, but I was surprised how drained I felt. You think that making a friend get help when they are in trouble would make you feel good. But for me, I felt good and awful at the same time. But being able to talk to others really helped me feel more reassured that I did the right thing.

I felt even better about it when my friend reached out to me to update me on when they were thinking they would be coming home and in their text message to me they thanked me. I also got a message from my friend’s mom who said I saved my friend’s life and they were grateful for me. I know I shouldn’t have to hear it from outside sources, but hearing my friend’s mom say that really solidified in my mind that I did the right thing and that there was no other option that would have had as positive of an outcome.

As I’m writing this, my friend isn’t home yet but should be soon. Another friend of ours has talked to them on the phone and said they sounded good. And I am hopeful that my friend will be ok and not angry or upset with me. But I have also accepted the possibility that they might be distant or not as friendly to me for a while. I will have to wait and see what happens, but as long as they are alive I am ok with whatever happens.

Even though I have had to talk friends down before when they were not in a good mindset, this was so different. But even though this was a tough thing for me to do and I was very upset about what I had to make my friend do, I don’t regret it for a second. I could not imagine my life without this friend and I would be devastated if they weren’t here. And if they harmed themselves after talking to me on the phone and I didn’t make them get help, I would never forgive myself.

But this isn’t about me. This only had this result because my friend was brave enough to share what was happening with me. They could have lied and said they were fine even though they weren’t. They felt like they needed help and knew they needed to say something. And I was just the person who happened to be listening and telling them what to do.  I cannot say how unbelievably proud I am of my friend for getting the help they needed. It is not easy, but hopefully in the long run they will be grateful for it.

While my friend felt comfortable enough to tell me what was happening, I know that isn’t always the case for everyone. I know some people don’t want their friends to know what is going on. And if that is the case for you and you are struggling or having thoughts of harming yourself, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. There are people there 24/7 who can help you find help. And if you hear someone you care about expressing thoughts of harming yourself, you can also call the Lifeline to get advice on what to do.

I know that when someone is in the depths of depression it can feel like you aren’t worth getting help. Please know this isn’t true. Everyone is worthy of getting help and being able to be happy in their life. Please reach out to someone if you feel helpless. There is always hope.

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Default ThumbnailFriends Helping Friends (or Not Being Afraid To Ask For Support) Default ThumbnailA Friend Party (or A Casual Hangout And Catchup) Default ThumbnailWorld Mental Health Day (or Seeing So Many People Be So Open) Default ThumbnailMaking My Friend Try On Wedding Dresses (or I’m So Glad She Found The Perfect Dress!) Default ThumbnailBeautiful Wedding For A Beautiful Friend (or I’m Glad I Wore Waterproof Mascara) Default ThumbnailRemembering A Year Ago (or Still So Grateful My Friend Got Help)

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Baby Shower Fun (or I Love Celebrating My Friends)

Posted on September 6, 2018 | Comments Off on Baby Shower Fun (or I Love Celebrating My Friends)

Even though I’m the age where a lot of people are having kids, not that many of my friends have kids yet. But more and more of my married friends are starting families and I am so excited for all of them! Some of them haven’t been having baby showers or other parties to celebrate a baby until the baby is here, but last weekend I got to go to a baby shower for my friends Erin and Ace.

Erin hasn’t had the easiest pregnancy so I was so glad she was doing better and they were able to have this celebration before their son is born. He should be born next month so she’s almost to the end of being pregnant (and I think both she and Ace are ready for their son to be here).

Even though I haven’t been to a lot of baby showers, I’m familiar with a lot of baby shower games. But Erin and Ace aren’t really game people, so I figured there wouldn’t be any games and it would be more like a regular party. And that’s exactly what it was like! The shower was held at a Mediterranean restaurant right on the beach in Venice. Since the shower was on a Saturday and on the beach (and it was a gorgeous day), it was a little tough to get there. But I was able to find a parking lot a few blocks away that had some spots open. So I parked and walked over to the party.

And I was right, this baby shower was more like a fun party with awesome people it was so much fun! I didn’t know many people at the party so I tried to be social and get to know who else was there. And before the food came out, I went over to the onesie decorating table to decorate one for the baby. With many of the people at the party being creative people, so many of the onesies were really amazing. I was drawing a blank on what to do, but then I remembered a onesie that I had seen online once and I copied it the best I could.

I know that both Ace and Erin will be amazing at taking care of their baby, but I figured decorating a onesie was the time to be silly. And they both seemed to love it and think it was funny. But some of the other ones (which sadly I didn’t take photos of) were extremely creative. Some of them had to do with “Game Of Thrones”, some of them had cute puns, and one of them was decorated to look like the baby had made a huge mess all over everything. It was fun watching other people decorate them and I was happy with what I created.

After that, the food came out. It was some delicious Mediterranean food like salad, chicken, pitas, and hummus. There was also a dessert table with cupcakes, fruit, and sweet treats. I got a plate of food and found a table to sit at with some new people. So we all went around saying how we knew Erin and Ace and sharing random stories about being in the entertainment industry (most people at the party were actors).

When we were done eating, Erin and Ace went up to give a little speech about how grateful they are for everyone who was there and how we are their LA family. Neither of their families live super close to LA so they have created their own family out of their friends. And I’m so honored to be one of those people. Both Erin and Ace have been amazing friends to me and I really have gotten to know each of them really well in the past few years. And they are both people I know I could count on if I needed something. So I would be willing to help them out in any way I could and I know that everyone else at the party feels the same way.

After everyone had eaten and decorated onesies, the party started to wind down a bit. I went over to Erin and Ace to say goodbye and to let them know how much fun I had and how honored I was to be invited to the baby shower. And they looked so adorable that I had to get a photo of them.

They are seriously such a great couple and I know their baby is going to be awesome! And I have seen all the incredible people they have in their LA family that will help them out and make sure that their son is loved so much. And I’m excited for them to have the baby so I can celebrate them even more!

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Default ThumbnailBaby Shower Saturday (or Celebrating Baby Allen) Default ThumbnailI Do Enjoy Valentine’s Day (or Celebrating All Love In My Life) Default ThumbnailAn Evening Out With Friends (or An Excuse To Dress Up) Default ThumbnailEnjoying Valentine’s Day (or Celebrating The Love I Do Have In My Life) Default ThumbnailA Night Of Stand Up (or Just Having Fun With My Friends) Default ThumbnailA NextGen Mixer (or Just Having Fun With My Friends)

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A Belated Brunch (or Just Enjoying Supporting Each Other)

Posted on August 22, 2018 | Comments Off on A Belated Brunch (or Just Enjoying Supporting Each Other)

It has been a while since my last brunch with my mentoring group. This is pretty much my fault since I am the one who organizes these for our group. But I’ve had a lot of things happening in life that have distracted me or just put scheduling this in the back of my mind and not having me take action on it. Fortunately my group understands and everyone is just appreciative that we do these meetings when we can even if they aren’t every other month.

Half of our group was able to meet for brunch this past weekend and I was so glad to get to see everyone. As it has been for a lot of our meetings lately, I knew I wouldn’t have a ton of updates to share with the group. But for me I get just as much from hearing everyone else’s journeys and the advice that they get from everyone else. And sometimes I am able to give advice to someone else that really works as advice for myself as well. Sometimes you don’t know what you need to hear until you hear you say it to a different person.

We had our brunch at Rush St. which really is now our go-to brunch place. We have tried meeting at other places, but they just haven’t worked out for one reason or another. We all love the food and the service is quick and efficient there. Plus, they have booths that can fit the entire group if we are all there and it makes it easy for us to hear each other. It can be noisy, but being in our booth makes the other noise a bit muffled so we can focus on the conversation within the booth.

Since that is our usual brunch location (and I’m there so many other times as well), we all were able to order quickly. I usually get either an omelet or the 2 eggs any way for brunch and I got my 2 poached eggs which were perfect.

When our group started meeting several years ago, we were a bit more organized and worked on giving everyone equal time to talk and get advice. But since we’ve been doing this for so long, things are much more casual. We had been talking about random things before we ordered our food and once we ordered we naturally went into hearing what one person in the group has been up to since our last meeting. And things naturally and easily went from one person to the next.

My update was very limited. I haven’t done much as far as acting work goes in the past few months. I have still been involved in the union and learning as much as I can, but that’s not really an update to my career. I did talk a bit about my book about online dating (more on that another time) and some other things I have been doing that are beyond my day jobs. I know I need to take more control over things and seeing what else I can do, but I know I was in a bit of a slump lately. Between being sick and just feeling off, I haven’t been as motivated as I have been in the past. But I know I need to take some time to myself to see where I can be more proactive with things since I don’t want to just sit and wait for others to have projects for me.

But everyone else had fun things to share. One person has been busy directing lots of projects including a short film for HBO. Another person has been working on a one-woman play she wrote and now it looks like it might end up on Broadway. And another writer in the group has finished a script and has been submitting it to people she knows to get feedback before working on the next draft. And we heard little updates from other members of our group via email that couldn’t make the meeting and everyone seems to be doing so well.

I know that I could be feeling down on myself and feeling like everyone else is making huge strides in their careers and I’m not. But I also know that everyone else has the same struggles that I do and I don’t necessarily know about them. Even I really only share the positive things happening in my life when we are at the meetings. I did share that I had been sick and some health updates, but besides those everything was a positive update. So I can’t compare knowing everything happening in my life with the little bits I know about everyone else’s. And I think our group shares that we all struggle so nobody has to feel like they aren’t doing as much or accomplishing as much as everyone else.

As with all of these brunch meetings, I felt so great while I was there and after leaving. I love having these check-ins and supporting my friends and having them support me. It makes me feel so amazing having such incredible people in my life and I am always so grateful for their advice for me or hearing their advice for someone else.

I’m hoping the next brunch we do won’t be as delayed and I’ve been making efforts to make sure that doesn’t happen. Our next brunch is supposed to be in 2 months and I’ve already sent and email out to the group to see what dates work for everyone. Hopefully we can find a date that works out for all of us and we can all be together in 2 months. But if that doesn’t happen (and there’s a good chance it won’t since we all have crazy lives and schedules), I know that whenever we are able to meet up again it will be just awesome as it always is.

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Default Thumbnail4 Years Of My Mentoring Circle (or Celebrating With Brunch) Default ThumbnailLast Mentoring Group Brunch For The Year (or Switching Things Up For Next Year) Default ThumbnailAnother Mentee Meeting (or Beach Brunch) Default ThumbnailAnother Brunch Check In (or Wishing I Had Done More) Default ThumbnailBrunch Celebration (or Everyone Has Awesome News) Default ThumbnailAnother Business Brunch (or A Delayed Mentoring Circle Meeting)

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It Sucks To Say Goodbye (I Don’t Like It When My Friends Move Away)

Posted on August 17, 2018 | Comments Off on It Sucks To Say Goodbye (I Don’t Like It When My Friends Move Away)

I’ve lived in LA for almost 17 years (more on that next week when it’s my anniversary of moving to LA), and in those 17 years most of the friends I’ve made here have stayed here. In college, I didn’t have a ton of friends who were in school with me. And a few of them have moved away from LA after college or after a few years of working in LA. And the friends that I have met outside of school have almost always stayed here.

I understand it can be tough to live in LA. It’s not easy for me. If I wasn’t pursing acting and didn’t love LA I could have a much better financial quality of life living somewhere else. The money I make at 1 job would possibly be enough to support myself on instead of having to hustle and find random jobs to fill in the gaps. But I love living here and the struggle is worth it. But I’m also single and don’t have kids so I only have myself to think about. And when my friends have had to move away, it has always been for a reason that makes perfect sense and I know they are doing the best thing for themselves and their family.

Because it’s not that often that I have friends who move away, it is tough when I have to say goodbye to a friend who is leaving. And unfortunately, that was the case this past weekend. 2 of my friends (who I know through the group that I attend all the epic parties with) and their kids are moving back east. They  have family there and it will be awesome for their kids to be raised near family. I know they don’t want to leave LA, but they have to do what is the best thing for their family and right now moving away is the best thing.

Of course, there was a party to say goodbye to them. It was a smaller gathering than most of them because they wanted to focus on saying goodbye to each person who attended. And it was nice to have time to talk to them and the other friends of mine who were there. We were all enjoying watching their kids play with all the other kids at the party (one day kids are going to outnumber the adults there!) and we were saying how there are so many ways we can stay in touch even though they will be living far away.

Social media has made it easier when people move away. You can stay informed on what is happening in their lives and still feel connected. And since karaoke is such a big part of these parties, we realized we could do Skype karaoke while they are back east! We could project them on Skype on the wall of the garage (where the karaoke lyrics are usually projected) and they can participate. I brought that idea up to Marie and Chris and I think they love it. I can’t wait to see the first party that involves Skype karaoke and I think that maybe more people who can’t attend the parties in person are going to take advantage of it!

Everyone was trying to stay upbeat, but you could tell there was a bit of sadness with everyone not wanting to say goodbye. Like I said, it’s not something I have to do that often and it’s not an easy thing to do. I cherish my friends so much and it’s never easy to know that I won’t be seeing one of them as often as I like to. But I also am happy that they are going to be moving to be closer to their family and that their kids are excited about it (although I wonder if they understand it since they are little). And I also know that a move doesn’t have to be forever and there is a chance they will move back to LA one day.

Also, I have a feeling that eventually they will come back to LA for a visit since they have so many friends here. And if it’s around a party that normally happens they will be at the party like normal. And if it’s not around a party, I know that a party will be created for them because having them back in town will be a reason to celebrate! And when we have a reunion of our party group, it’s going to be an epic party and I can’t wait until that happens!

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Default ThumbnailRinging In The New Year (or Being With My Friends) Default ThumbnailBaby Shower Fun (or I Love Celebrating My Friends) Default ThumbnailA Night Out With Friends (or Emmys and Elopements) Default ThumbnailA SAG-AFTRA Party (or Finally Getting Photos With My Friends) Default ThumbnailBeing Socially Anti-Social (or An Observer At Game Night) Default ThumbnailHow I Spent My Actual Birthday (or Friends, Friends, and More Friends)

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An Almost Free Meal (or Amazing Food And Crazy Dating Stories)

Posted on August 16, 2018 | Comments Off on An Almost Free Meal (or Amazing Food And Crazy Dating Stories)

I don’t have a ton of birthday traditions, but one that has been a part of my life for quite a while has been getting my free birthday meal at Truxton’s. I have been doing the free birthday meal pretty much since the restaurant opened in 2006 so I’ve been doing it for 11 or 12 years. And it has been a tradition with my birthday twin Joanna for about a decade now (we aren’t totally sure when we started going together).

Since we’ve been doing this I don’t think we have missed a year. It’s too good of a deal to skip! In the beginning it was a free entrĂ©e and a free dessert for each of us. That was a ton of food but we had fun with it. Then a few years ago it changed to $20 of free food for each of us but they would combine them on a single bill so it was easy for us to plan to spend under $40. Then it had to be on separate bills and we had to be strategic. We realized that it was going to be too difficult to have a totally free bill, but we still only ended up owing a dollar or two.

Going into our birthday dinner this year, we had every hope that we could go for a totally free meal. We went to dinner the day after our birthday and I was so excited to have a great dinner and to hang out with an awesome friend!

Since now we aren’t restricted to a free entrĂ©e and dessert, we usually get an appetizer to share, an entrĂ©e for each of us, and a dessert to share. And for our appetizer we almost always get Monkey Bread because it’s so good! Since we knew we’d be getting that plus a dessert, we picked out our dessert to figure out how much money we would have for entrees left over.

While we could have gotten things cheap enough to make everything free, nothing that we wanted was in that range so we had to decide if it was worth getting things we weren’t totally wanting in order to have a totally free meal or if it would be better to get what we want and owe a little bit of money. We both agreed that we would rather have a meal we wanted and owe a little bit. We both were craving burgers so we got those with the parmesan garlic fries that I love!

The Monkey Bread was awesome too and we got a churro sundae to split as our dessert. We were both pretty full when we were done but it was so good and we were so happy to have a great meal together.

We also took a while to eat because we were busy catching up on life with each other. We both have had some crazy dating stories lately and we were going back and forth sharing some of the weirder ones. She was telling me a story of a guy who seemed like he was trying to gaslight her but was making it so obvious that he just sounded insane and confused. I was telling her stories of some of the guys who have ghosted me recently and how odd it was that someone could go from texting me every day to disappearing and not feel like they should say they aren’t interested. I will never understand guys who ghost, but at least we were both having a laugh in sharing our stories.

When we got our bills, we knew we would both owe a little bit. But we owed so little for our dinner that it was like we had a free meal!

Plus, we had free parking at meters since we had a later dinner so we saved money there! If we had to pay for parking, it would have been more than the cost of the dinner! And another one of our favorite things about this free (or almost free) birthday dinner is that we can leave a bit tip and feel like we are doing something great. Our bill was basically $40 before the discount and we each left $10 for a tip. So we were able to tip our server almost 50% on our meal! I know that some people don’t tip well when they get a discount, but we want to do the opposite since we know how much servers depend on tips. It also makes us feel like badasses because we can say we tipped 50%.

We stuck around after dinner chatting and catching up some more (we didn’t feel bad because there weren’t people waiting for the table and our server seemed fine with us hanging around). It was nice just to chat and have fun with a good friend. And I really did like that we were sharing dating stories because sometimes it feels like the crazy things only happen to me. While I don’t wish that anyone else has to deal with what I deal with, it does make me feel less weird and alone when I hear a friend has similar situations with the online dating world.

Joanna and I don’t really get to see each other in person that often because our schedules are crazy and we aren’t usually in each other’s part of LA. But I’m glad we have this tradition as well as our holiday time tradition so we do get to see each other at least twice a year. And I know that in a year we’ll be doing our almost free birthday meal again!

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Default ThumbnailFabulous Free Food (or Why I Love My Birthday Twin!) Default ThumbnailBirthday Twin Dinner (or Zero Dollar Bill) Default ThumbnailContinuing The Birthday Celebrations (or A Birthday Twin Adventure) Default ThumbnailBirthday Twin Tradition (or An Almost Free Meal) Default ThumbnailStill Figuring Out Meal Planning (or Will Food Ever Be Easy For Me?) Default ThumbnailBelated Birthday Dinner (or We Don’t Mind It’s Not Totally Free Anymore)

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The Last Show Of The Season (or Ending On A High Note)

Posted on August 7, 2018 | 1 comment

This past weekend was the last show of the current season at the Pantages for my group. It’s been a pretty amazing season and I’ve loved having these Sunday adventures with my friends. The next season for us will be starting in 5 weeks, so it’s not that much of a gap between this season and next. But one of the members of our group won’t be joining us next season. She is going back to school to get her doctorate so she won’t have the time to commit to the season. We do have another friend who will be joining us, but it was still a bit sad to know that this was going to be the last show for this group that has been together for 2 seasons.

We started our evening out at Wood & Vine like we have for so many shows. We love going there for dinner because it is always great and the staff spoils us there. But they also just got a new menu (they change the menu seasonally) and we really wanted to see what the new offerings were and checking out what some of our new favorites would be.

I had looked at the menu before going and had picked out a few things I knew I wanted us to get, but I still took a look to see if my mind had changed. And our group quickly decided that we wanted all 4 main dishes that were on the top row of the menu plus the street corn. We thought all 4 of those main dishes were new ones, but it turns out the lamb burger has always been on the menu and we just never got it!

Our veggies came out first. We ordered the corn but the manager also wanted us to try the salad.

The salad was nice and fresh, but the corn tasted so luxurious! It was perfectly seasoned and the creme on it was delicious! We quickly ate it all and were excited to get the main dishes we ordered.

The 4 things we got were the pork belly tacos, the lamb burger, the pasta with prawns, and the tequila chicken.

Without a doubt, our absolute favorite was the tacos. The pork belly melted but was also nice and crispy. It was so good that I wish I was having it again right now because my mouth is watering! The lamb burger was a bit spicy so I only had a small taste of it, but my friends said that it is a must-order for the next time we have dinner. And the pasta with prawns and the chicken were amazing too! We all were tasting everything and most of the time we were eating we were much more focused on the food than talking.

And the dessert menu at Wood & Vine was expanded recently and the manager wanted us to try 2 of the new desserts.

I don’t like pineapple (it hurts my mouth), but I loved the ice cream in the pineapple sundae. And my friends said the pineapple was beautifully grilled and tasted amazing. And I loved the chocolate truffles! They were really rich, but the perfect size to enjoy them and not feel stuffed.

As always, the food at Wood & Vine really amazed us and we were having the best time having dinner there. I have a feeling that we will continue going there for dinner before our shows multiple times in our next season. The manager also told us some ideas they were thinking for the fall menu and we cannot wait to see what they go with and try out all the new things!

After dinner we walked across the street to the theater to go to our show. This time, we were seeing “Waitress” which was one of the shows I was most excited to see this season.

I love the movie “Waitress” and it’s one that I watch over and over. The story behind the writer, director, and one of the actors is a sad one and that makes the movie even more special for me to watch. She created this amazing movie and was waiting to find out if it got accepted to Sundance but was murdered before she could find out it got in. The movie was critically acclaimed and she never got to experience that. And I love that her legacy is continuing with the musical being loved by so many people.

Since I was familiar with the story and characters, I was excited to see what changed they made from the movie to the musical. Sometimes adaptations skip some of my favorite parts or I feel like there is something missing. But this time I was so happy with how the musical took elements from the movie and expanded upon them. I felt like so many characters were built upon and they were even more lovable. And the main story and plot was very true to the movie and that made me happy too.

I’m so glad that this musical didn’t disappoint me since it was something I had been looking forward to since this season was announced. It’s not that often that I am disappointed by a show, but it can happen and I’m always a little worried that something I’m really excited about will do that. But this wasn’t that situation and it really helped to end our season on such a wonderful high note!

I’m already so excited for the next season and the season after that will be announced in a few months. Hopefully that season will be another one that many of us want to go to and the tradition will continue with getting season tickets. I’ve said this pretty much every time I go to a show, but going makes me so happy and I’m just grateful that I have friends who do this with me and make these evenings feel so special.

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Default ThumbnailLast Musical Of The Season (or A Classic Pantages Night Out) Default ThumbnailFunko and Frozen (or The Last Pantages Show For A While) Default ThumbnailAnother Musical Season (or Enjoying A Repeat Musical) Default ThumbnailA Weird Night In Hollywood (or Another Musical In Our Season) Default ThumbnailAnother Wicked Night Out (or Seeing A Show From Up High) Default ThumbnailA Short Workout Week (or I Would Have Ended On A High Note)

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Another Bowl Night (or Not Letting Rude People Ruin My Fun)

Posted on July 31, 2018 | Comments Off on Another Bowl Night (or Not Letting Rude People Ruin My Fun)

Every summer I say that I’m going to try to get out to the Hollywood Bowl more often but it usually doesn’t happen. Typically I’ll make it to one show a season, which is still awesome and I know how lucky I am to do that. And when I went to the “Beauty And The Beast” show I thought that might be my one show this season. Of course I had my eye on a few other shows I might want to check out, but I never made any plans for anything.

Every summer at the Bowl they do one musical. I usually see when those are announced and try to find anyone who might want to go with me. This season they announced that they would be doing “Annie” and I thought it would be a fun show to check out. I’ve seen the different movie versions but I don’t believe I’ve ever seen the musical staged. But after asking around when the season was announced, I didn’t think too much of it again because I had other things on my mind.

But then an acquaintance of mine announced on social media that they had been cast in the show and I was motivated again to see if I could find someone to go with me. My friend Dani was free and I looked online for tickets. It was so close to the date I figured we’d have some not-so-great seats. I was looking in the back sections since we wanted to look at the cheap seats and I happened to find 2 seats in the first row of one of those sections! The first row is the best since you have the concrete barrier to use as a table and I was so excited to find those seats at the price level we wanted to be at!

The day of the show we met at the Bowl Bus location and we each brought different things for our picnic. We had cheeses, meats, crackers, fruit, veggies, desserts, and water. I think we might have brought too much food, but that’s ok. The ride to the Bowl wasn’t too bad, it’s so much easier doing the bus there so we don’t have to think about it and we can just goof off and catch up on the ride. And traffic wasn’t that bad either considering it was rush hour. We were at the Bowl pretty quickly and went up to our seats.

We were in the very back, but our seats were very centered and we were excited about that!

As you can see from my photo, the section in front of ours was almost empty. It was weird, almost all the sections at that level were empty. We thought about just moving down and hoping those seats would stay empty, but we decided to not do it since it would be annoying if we had to move again and for all we knew a ton of people would show up late. We would regret that decision.

Our section seemed to be filled with a student group from a foreign exchange program. They were loud and many of them were playing noisy games on their phone before the show started, but we figured they’d quiet down when the lights went down and the performers came out. We were wrong. A few of them were quiet, but most of them kept talking and it was difficult to hear the performers. We could hear the songs ok, but the dialogue was harder to hear because of all the people around us talking. There was another group sitting in our row who was just as annoyed as we were with the talkers and they tried to quiet them down too. But nothing helped and the frustration just kept building. But as soon as intermission started, we grabbed everything and went down to the empty section in front of ours.

The second half of the show was a much better experience. Not only were we away from all the chatty and rude people, my acquaintance was in the second half! I tried to take photos of him singing, but it was too tough to do that with how far back we were and I wanted to focus on his performance and not on taking photos. But it was so exciting to see someone I know on the stage at the Bowl! I’m pretty sure this was the first time I knew someone in a show there!

Excluding the rude people in the section we sat in for the first half, I had a really great time at the show. It was a slightly different take on “Annie” than I expected. Some of that could be due to it being the staged version versus the movies. But also the closing song this time was actually the opening song to the sequel to “Annie”. The only reason I knew that was when I was in high school I thought I bought the CD soundtrack to “Annie” when in fact it was the soundtrack to “Annie Warbucks” which is the second show. It was crazy that I recognized the song since it probably had been at least 18 years since I had heard it.

When the show was done, we made our way back down to where the Bowl Bus picks us up. It was much easier leaving this time compared to other times I have been there because the section was empty and there weren’t a ton of people trying to leave through the same walkway at one time. And as always, the ride home was easy and stress-free.

There are still a few shows I’d love to go to before the Bowl season is over, but I’m not totally sure I’ll make it to any of them. But maybe I’ll luck out with another last minute purchase like I did this time!

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Default ThumbnailAnother Night At The Bowl (or My Parents Got To Rock Out) Default ThumbnailLiza with a Z (or How to Go to the Hollywood Bowl on the Cheap) Default ThumbnailA Night At The Bowl (or Combining Several Of My Favorite Things) Default ThumbnailA Perfect Night At The Bowl (or Checking Some Things Off My List) Default ThumbnailWorking Through Physical Challenges (or Not Letting Feeling Bad Ruin My Workouts) Default ThumbnailA Night At The Bowl (or Movie Music With Friends)

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Remembering To Have Some Fun (or Hangouts Don’t Always Have To Be Events)

Posted on July 25, 2018 | 1 comment

For a while I’ve been working on making more of an effort to see my friends. Sometimes I get too wrapped up in work, or I get sick, or life just takes over and I neglect some of my friendships. I know that I’m not the only person guilty of doing this, but I also know that I can be better about making plans and not letting too much time go by between hanging out with friends.

But at the same time, I feel like I see some of my friends a lot because of things that I have scheduled to do with them. When I have parties to go to, musicals that I have tickets for, or Disney days in the calendar those are events and I make the time to go to them. Those events are usually in my calendar for a while so I don’t really feel like I’ve been making plans. I just am going to something I knew about and they are really fun things I get to do.

But not all of my friend hangouts need to be events like that and big awesome days. I have forgotten about just going to hang out with my friends or doing something easy and casual with them. This may be because I do try to save time for dates and am trying to keep myself available and open, but that is no excuse. My friends should always be a priority to me whether or not I’m dating someone.

So after the last musical I went to, my friends and I were saying that we needed to do a fun dinner or something soon. Normally our dinners out are before the show or at Disneyland and they are a part of a bigger day. It’s so easy to forget that we can just go out and have a dinner and maybe go see a movie or something. I always think that hangouts have to be something amazing and awesome and forget that what makes them amazing and awesome is usually the company that I’m with. So this week we decided to do a dinner and movie hangout.

We had a bit of a snafu with our original dinner idea. We picked a restaurant that normally would be easy to park at with street and neighborhood parking. But the neighborhood parking ended at 6pm and the street parking was a rush-hour tow zone until 7pm. And of course we were trying to eat at 6. So we made a quick decision to switch restaurants and picked one in the same shopping center as the movie we were going to. This worked out fine and I really love the food at the restaurant we went to. I was planning on having a cheeseburger at the original restaurant and got one at the one we ate at.

Dinner was a little rushed so we could make it to the movie, but we still had time to catch up on life. I’ve been struggling with some things lately (more on that later this week) and I really did need to talk some things out. It’s so nice to have friends who relate to what I’m going through and have advice to give. And they aren’t afraid to ask the hard questions or bring up things that I might not want to hear but need to. And I try to do the same for them when they are struggling.

After dinner we went to the movie which was something we were all looking forward to seeing. I’m not going to share what movie it was because I didn’t really love it, but it was fun to go to a movie with friends. I’m so used to going to screenings alone that it is a rare treat to go to a movie with someone else. And it’s pretty rare for me to see a movie that is in a regular theater and it is a different feeling compared to a screening venue. I think that because I go to so many screenings I forget about going to movies with friends. My friends both have MoviePass which I have debated getting. I’m still not totally sold on getting it because I don’t know if I’d use it enough, but it’s something I know I could get one day if I do end up going to more movies that aren’t screenings.

Seeing a movie with friends was so fun. We were chatting about what we liked and didn’t like after it was done and we all had pretty different opinions. One friend loved it, one friend didn’t, and I was mixed (as I put it to my friends, “I have thoughts about it.”). But it didn’t matter that I didn’t love the movie, it was nice just talking to them about it after the movie was done. When I go alone, I don’t get that experience.

I’ve said this a million times (and will probably say it a million more), but I am working on being better at seeing my friends. But this dinner and a movie out was a good reminder that I can do things that don’t take much planning or effort to see my friends and still have a great time.

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Default ThumbnailSuch An LA Night (or Just Having Some Fun With A Friend) Default ThumbnailMore Friends More Fun (or Still Building My Social Circle) Default ThumbnailRemembering To See My Friends (or Actually Scheduling Hangouts) Default ThumbnailJust A Fun Dinner Out (or Remembering To Have Fun) Default ThumbnailRemembering To Have Fun (or Celebrating With Smores) Default ThumbnailFinding A Social Life Where I Can (or Virtual Parties and Distance Hangouts)

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