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Another Medical Afternoon (or At Least This Was Easy)

Posted on August 3, 2018 | Comments Off on Another Medical Afternoon (or At Least This Was Easy)

It was just about a month ago that I went to the doctor for some recurring medical issues I had been dealing with. When I went to the appointment originally, I thought I’d still have to go back for another appointment for all my annual things. But my doctor was able to fit everything into that one appointment. I still don’t have an answer for the recurring issue, but it didn’t happen this past month when I expected it to so I’m hoping whatever it was resolved itself.

I got all my medical tests back quickly and they were all normal. But then my doctor realized that one of the tests I had to do was either lost or they forgot to test it. So I had to go back for that test this week (just like I thought I would when I didn’t think the last appointment would count as my annual one). Fortunately since this was a lab screwup I didn’t have to pay a co-pay. And I’ve had the same insurance since I was born and this was the first time any of my tests were lost. So while it was a minor inconvenience I wasn’t mad or upset. I also realized after my last appointment I forgot to ask for a prescription refill on a painkiller so this worked out for me just fine.

Because my doctor is a family friend, it was easy to get the appointment scheduled. She booked me to be the last appointment of the day so she wouldn’t have to feel rushed with me. We also spend part of my appointment time catching up or talking about random stuff so the extra time was appreciated. But because I was the last appointment of the day, I also knew that the appointment would probably not be on time. I’m fine with that and it was only a few minutes behind. But when I was waiting in the exam room I just kept staring at this chart.

This chart is usually used for other things like cervical dilation, but to me I always look at it and am in shock over how big 10cm (the largest circle) is. That’s how big my biggest liver tumor was when it was discovered. I still can’t believe that I had a tumor that large and had no idea it was in my body! Every time I see that chart I can’t stop looking at it and just be in disbelief over the tumor situation. But it’s also a good way to kill a few minutes while waiting for my doctor.

When she came into the exam room, we went over some of the previous tests I had done and the recurring issue I had. I am a bit paranoid that the issue will come back again this month and last month was just a fluke, but if that’s the case I’ll just come back and we will keep working on finding out what’s wrong with me. We also discussed my tumor a bit because I was telling her how the chart is so shocking to me. She confirmed that my next MRI order is set to happen in October (I can schedule it when it’s ordered so it will probably be the end of October or beginning of November) so I’ll have an update on my tumors then.

When we were talking about my tumors, I did have a funny story to share with her. I recently had a first date with a guy who works in medicine. We ended up talking about weird medical conditions we both have (it’s a strange first date conversation but it came up naturally) and I told my doctor how this guy was so fascinated by my tumors. He even asked if I had any photos of it because he wanted to see it and I showed him my MRI. My doctor and I joked that only I could find a guy to go on a date with that would be interested in learning about my medical weirdness.

The test that had to be redone only took a minute and I should have the results in a week or so. I’m not too stressed about it. The worst case scenario is that I’ll have to go back another time for an additional test, but it would only be a test to confirm I don’t have any pre-cancerous cells (which was already proven to be fine by another test). I know I need to get that additional test if it’s ordered, but it’s really more of a precaution and not to really test to see if there is anything wrong with me. But I do like to be on top of all my health issues so I’m glad I understand what’s going on and what steps are possibly coming up.

I’m sure I’m more aware of health issues or possible complications than a lot of people are aware of. Part of it is my upbringing with being raised in a medical family and part of it is that I always seem to have weird things and I like to be educated as it removes a lot of the fear that can happen when you are told that not everything is perfect. And I’ve said it before, but I am so lucky to have such amazing doctors as a part of my medical team. They really do care about me and understand why I want to know the answers to so many things.

Hopefully I don’t have to go back again for another test, but if I do then I guess it will be an interesting blog post when it happens.

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Default ThumbnailHoping For Some Normal (or Fingers Crossed That This Was This Easy) Default ThumbnailA Medical Afternoon (or Getting In All My Regular Checkups) Default ThumbnailMore Medical Stuff (or My First Biopsy) Default ThumbnailSome Random Medical Tests (or At Least Getting Blood Work Was Entertaining) Default ThumbnailA Non-Surgery Anniversary (or Another Year Of Being A Medical Miracle) Default ThumbnailTaking Back A Medical Miracle (or Getting My Eyes Checked Again)

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Getting Another Mammogram (or This Is Getting Easier)

Posted on July 18, 2018 | 1 comment

Because I am now considered high-risk for breast cancer (even though my mom’s cancer was when she was a little older), I get more cancer screenings than most women my age. About 4 years ago I had my first mammogram. And 2 years ago I had my first breast MRI (my mom’s type of breast cancer is only seen on an MRI). Because of my mom’s age when she was diagnosed and my age now, it’s been a bit up in the air of how often I need to get screenings and what types of screenings they will be. But I do trust my doctor and I go with the plan that she feels is best for me.

When I was at my appointment recently, we went over the cancer screenings I’ve had before and she felt like I should get a mammogram this year. I don’t think anyone looks forward to getting a mammogram, but I was fine getting one because I know that it is important for me to be monitored. I am not scared that I will have cancer, although that is always a possibility because I have friends my age with no family history who found out they had breast cancer. But it’s always a bit nerve-racking whenever you do a medical test for something that is a bit more serious than just checking cholesterol or other more routine tests.

When I called to schedule my mammogram, they happened to have an opening the next day right after I was done with work. That was pretty convenient and there was no need for me to drag things out so I took that appointment before someone else did. And because you never know how late appointments will be, I went there prepared to wait and had my book with me.

I ended up being a bit stupid and mixing up the time I needed to be there. I thought they said I had to be there at 3:15 (for a 3:45 appointment), but they actually said to be there 15 minutes early. But I guess getting there early is better than late. So I got checked in, got my medical bracelet, and headed down to the room in the radiology waiting area that is specific for mammograms. I didn’t get a photo of the waiting room because there were other people in there, but I have to say that they have a much nicer waiting room now! And it’s better than the MRI waiting room too! I kept looking around and checking things out so I didn’t end up reading my book that much before I was called to go back.

I really wanted to get some photos while I was in there, but right after I took a photo of the machine I was told that there are no photos allowed, even if they are only of yourself.

I’ve had a few mammograms before so I knew what I was in for and was prepared for it. I bruise easily and because of some of the positioning for the machine I knew that it can hurt a little bit (not the squeezing part but having my shoulder pressed up against the machine) so I had taken a painkiller before my appointment to prepare. You do get a gown to wear, but I almost wondered why you just aren’t topless because you always have to keep taking the gown on and off for the different images. But I was trying to just be an easy patient and do exactly what the tech was asking me to do.

I don’t know if it was because I was more prepared this time or if things were just different but this mammogram went much easier than the other ones I’ve had. I still had bruising on me after it was all done, but that was to be expected with me. But it wasn’t as painful feeling pressed up against the machine. And the tech was really good at getting me in the position that they needed me in quickly. We only had to redo one of the images but it was my fault they had to do that. In the middle of one I was trying to hold in a cough and I know that I was shaking a bit.

I’m not totally sure how long the appointment took, but it was pretty fast and they were taking off my medical bracelet and telling me I could get dressed and leave before I was expecting it. I was glad I did it and it wasn’t a bad experience. None of the mammograms I’ve had were really bad experiences, but I think the more that I have the easier they will be. I know what I’m going to have to do and I can mentally plan better.

Even though I was expecting there to be nothing wrong with me, it was a nice relief when I got this email from my doctor a few days after the mammogram.

I’m not sure if I’m going to be doing them every year now that I’m closer to the recommended age for women to start getting them or if I will alternate between mammograms and MRIs, but I’m fine with whatever the plan is. I know that some people avoid medical testing because they are scared of what they will find out. For me, I’m more terrified of not knowing something is wrong with me (like my liver tumors). So getting these done makes me feel better and more sure that I am healthy.

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A Medical Afternoon (or Getting In All My Regular Checkups)

Posted on July 5, 2018 | 3 comments

I’ve been dealing with some female health issues lately. Some of it I’ve discussed on here, and some I haven’t. The things I haven’t shared on here are nothing too bad, but I’ve just been dealing with some recurring issues with my body not reacting normally when I have my periods each month beyond the nausea. I’ve joked to a friend that my body is allergic to when I have my period because my skin freaks out a bit and I have some other weird symptoms. But I know that’s not it. And I was managing it and handling it on my own until recently when I realized that I needed to stop treating myself and actually get checked out.

I usually schedule annual appointments around my birthday so I don’t forget about them, but I didn’t want to have to wait another month or so to figure out what’s happening with me. So I went in to see my OB/GYN (who does almost all my annual health checks and orders the tests I need to do) this week and it ended up being a longer appointment than I expected.

I’m very lucky that I have an amazing doctor. She was trained by my dad so she’s known my family for a while. And besides her being super educated and a great doctor she is also really easy to talk to. I don’t have to feel shame about any concerns I have or feel like she is going to judge me. More often than not I am comfortable enough around her that we can joke about things that others might feel like they could be judged for. It is so helpful to have a doctor you can be totally open with and know that you are going to be taken care of.

First, I did bring up all the nausea issues I’ve been having and what other options there are out there. I was prescribed a new anti-nausea medication that I can try when things are really bad, but I also got a refill for the medication I’ve been on since on the not-so-bad days it does help. It would be amazing if I never needed the stronger medication, but it’s nice to know I have a new option if I do need it.

Then we went over the normal things that are discussed in an annual appointment. I got all the standard tests that I needed plus a few others to see if we could figure out what’s been wrong with me. Some of the tests had a quick turnaround, but there are others that are going to be much more detailed and those may take a month or so to get the answers. Nothing is so bad that I can’t wait for the answers and I’m willing to wait because I do want to know what’s going on.

Finally I got all the other tests that I needed ordered put into the system. My OB/GYN works out of a medical office and not the big hospital, but they do have a lab and a few other departments there. So after my blood work tests were ordered I was able to just walk down the hallway to do that. I didn’t faint (yay!), but because we were doing some more tests than just my standard ones there were 5 vials of blood taken instead of the usually 2. I just kept my eyes closed while I was there and focused on breathing while the vials filled.

I also had a mammogram ordered since I didn’t have one last year. I’m still younger than the age when you need to start getting them each year and my doctor and I haven’t really figured out the best plan for me since I will also probably need MRIs as well, but we are working on the plan together. I also am not as high of risk as other people with a family history of breast cancer since my mom was older when she was diagnosed. But I’d rather be on top of screenings than not get them and realize there is something wrong when it’s too late. I could have scheduled my mammogram at the medical offices, but the hospital is actually closer to my house so I’m going to be going there again.

And after all that, I still had one more stop at the pharmacy at the office to get all the prescriptions filled. I had 4 different things I was getting and because that was considered a large order they had to take a while to get everything together. I didn’t mind since I had my Kindle with me and I could just wait there reading. They originally told me it would take an hour, but it was only about 35 minutes until everything was ready for me.

Since my appointment, I did get a call from my doctor saying that all my tests (except the few that will take time) came back normal. That’s good and bad news. I’m glad there is nothing wrong with me, but I know there is something up and we just don’t know what it is. The more detailed tests won’t necessarily give us an answer because they are testing for more specific things that the quick tests tested for. But you never know so I can still wait on those. But now the plan is to see if the symptoms return and if they do my doctor is going to find a way to see me that day so she sees me when things are affecting me. There is also the possibility that whatever was in my body has left naturally and I won’t have any issues soon. But that will just be a wait and see game.

While it can be frustrating and annoying to have things wrong with you and to spend an afternoon doing medical stuff, I’m not too bothered by it. Obviously I would love to be in perfect health and not have any medical mysteries, but at least I have a great doctor who wants to help me and is willing to order different tests to figure out what is happening. To me, knowing that I’m working on figure it out is a relief and I’m glad that I have the ability to see my doctor when I need to. And at least now I’ve got all the other annual things my OB/GYN would order so I don’t have to worry about those for another year.

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Being A Bit Paranoid (or Trying To Believe I’m Not Having More Health Issues)

Posted on June 13, 2018 | 1 comment

My body has been such a mess lately. It seems like something has been wrong with me for several months (when in reality it’s most like 5-6 week) and I just can’t be healthy. I’m aware that the cold I got is going to stick with me for a bit longer and that’s a little annoying. But I do see progress every day that I’m getting a bit better. I just can’t wait until I am not coughing all day and I feel like I can breathe normally again.

Right before I got sick, I had a bladder infection (which came right after feeling nauseous). It was cured pretty quickly with antibiotics and I was grateful that I don’t get them that often. They are pretty bad and because I didn’t want to have to take unpaid time off work I had to wait several hours after my symptoms started to get to the doctor for the medication. I had to wait until getting to the doctor to take any over the counter medications that make things less painful so I could be properly diagnosed, but as soon as I finished at the doctor I took everything I could to make it go away.

But then the other day, I was feeling off and couldn’t place what was wrong. Then I started feeling like I needed to go to the bathroom constantly and was terrified that I had another bladder infection. I thought it would be so strange to have another one but I was not willing to take the risk and wait it out. So I called the nurse line to talk to someone and see if I could get a prescription quickly.

With the nurse line, they can call you back when it’s your turn so you aren’t on hold for a while. The wait time was about 2 hours and the entire time I was waiting I was drinking as much water as I could. I know that you can’t always flush it out of your system, but I was going to try it because that’s all I could do while I was waiting. When I finally spoke to the nurse, my symptoms were slightly better but she still felt like it would be best for me to take the antibiotics again.

So I got into the car and drove to Kaiser. As I drove there I realized that I felt pretty much normal again and that maybe I overreacted. But I still wanted to get the prescription in case this was just a temporary break. I went to the pharmacy to order them and then walked into the hospital to use the bathroom. And when I walked in, I will say I was super creeped out by how empty it was inside.

I’ve never seen the lobby with no people inside. There was nobody waiting, no staff at the desks, and nobody walking around. The hospital was open and I have no clue why there was nobody inside. But since I was weirded out I quickly used the bathroom and headed back to the pharmacy to pick up the medication.

By then, I was feeling totally normal and a bit silly for doing all this. If I had just waited it out, I would have been fine. Of course, there was no way to know that when I called to talk to the nurse and I’d rather overreact and not do anything and make the situation much worse. I know a bladder infection can turn into much more serious conditions and I don’t want to cause that to happen.

While I did get the medication, I’m not going to take it right now. I’d rather not take antibiotics that I don’t need. I’m going to keep them because I still am a bit paranoid that this is only a temporary break from the issue and that it’s going to come back and get worse. I feel the same way about my tumors. When I found out they shrunk, I was so sure that it wasn’t real and that they would grow again. When I had my scan last October, I was certain that I wasn’t going to get good news. Fortunately I was wrong about that.

I think that it’s just my nature to be paranoid about things like this when I’ve already had to deal with them. I’m not really worried about medical conditions that I haven’t had personally (or have had close family have). I’m not worried about all the new diseases and conditions you read about in the news. I’m only worried about repeats of what I had or that something that is supposed to be getting better is really getting worse. I’m glad that I was wrong this time and I was fine, but I’m still worried that in a week I’ll be writing about how this post was wrong.

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Can’t My Body Have A Break? (or Back To Back Issues)

Posted on May 3, 2018 | 3 comments

While it is annoying to be nauseous for about 2 weeks each month, I’m starting to get used to it. The medications I take now help to manage them better than what I could take when I was a teenager. And maybe I’m also just stronger and able to tolerate things better now. I know when I should be getting nauseous and when it will be ending. It’s not always exactly on schedule, but it’s pretty close so I’m able to prepare myself mentally for it.

My nausea ended this Monday (after I was at the dentist) and I was so happy to have it go away. I was hanging out with a friend and joking that I finally can start my 2 weeks of freedom now before I forget how bad it can be sometimes and feel sick again. But joking aside, I do look forward to the 2 weeks that I know I won’t be feeling as badly. I hate feeling nauseous and even as I get used to it, it’s never a fun feeling.

While I was hanging out with my friend on Monday, I could almost feel the nausea slip away from my body. But as I started to relax, I was feeling another off feeling coming on. I couldn’t figure out what the feeling was and just figured it was some nausea or maybe a bit of a cold. So I didn’t worry about it too much and just went on with my day.

Unfortunately, by Monday evening I was feeling worse and I knew something was wrong with me. I didn’t figure it out until the middle of the night that night when I was having to get up to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so.

I know that bladder infections and UTIs are pretty common for women, but I’ve been lucky. I only had one before and that was about 5 or 6 years ago. I actually didn’t know what it was at first and suffered for a few days before figuring it out. But this time, I knew that night what was wrong and I knew I’d need to go to the doctor in the morning.

Tuesday morning I managed to get an appointment with a nurse over the phone (it saves me the $50 co-pay) and she agreed that my symptoms seemed to be an infection so she wrote me a prescription and told me to come in for some lab work. I wasn’t able to do it until after I was done with work, so I went through my over the counter medications to find what I took last time to help the pain.

The good thing about not having bladder infections that often is that you don’t have them that often. The bad thing is that when you look at your medications, you discover they expired 4 years ago. I wasn’t going to take medications that expired that long ago, so I just had to suck it up while I was working. I’m lucky that I work from home because I was always only a few steps away from my bathroom. And I was drinking so much water to try to flush this out of my system.

As soon as I was done with work, I went over to the hospital. I went for my lab work first, and it was nice to be there and not have to give blood. Although I will say that having to give a urine sample while having a bladder infection (which makes it very difficult and painful to pee) is pretty awful too. But I got it done and then headed to the pharmacy to get my prescriptions and to get some more of the over the counter things I take.

The pharmacy was a bit crowded, but I was done in under 15 minutes which was nice since I was getting more and more uncomfortable. I forgot to bring some water with me to the hospital and I don’t love taking medications without water or using a drinking fountain, so I quickly drove home to take the pills and wait to feel better.

I was in a lot of pain through Tuesday evening, but yesterday I was feeling significantly better. I know I’ll keep getting better over the next few days too. Just knowing I’m getting better and that there is an end in sight does help with how uncomfortable and painful things can be.

Of course, medications have side effects and the antibiotic I’m taking is making me feel nauseous. It’s not nearly as bad as how I feel from hormonal changes so that’s good. But to have nausea for 1 week out of the 2 that I know I don’t have nausea is almost a mean trick. I haven’t had to take my anti-nausea meds yet and I’m trying not to take them if I can help it. And hopefully the nausea decreases each day I take the medication.

It would have been nice to have my full 2 weeks off of nausea this month, but I guess that wasn’t in the cards for me. And I am grateful that I have health insurance so I could get treated right away and that this is something pretty easy to treat. There are so many worse things I could get and I’m a relatively healthy person. But while I’m grateful, this is just one of those moments where I wish I had a little bit of better luck and not back to back issues with my health.

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Medical Miracle Anniversary (or A Year Of My Liver Being A Badass)

Posted on April 20, 2018 | 1 comment

1 year ago today I was supposed to have my liver surgery to remove my tumors and about 30% of my liver. And as you know if you’ve followed my blog for a while, that surgery didn’t happen. Even though the research shows that the type of tumors I have don’t typically shrink on their own, somehow mine did. The tumors were caused by hormonal birth control and I guess going off of it made the tumors smaller. I’ve done some research on my own and it seems like even though this situation is still very rare, it is a bit more common than we previously thought.

For my hip surgery, it’s easy to know what the anniversary is because it happened on a certain date. For this medical situation, it was a bit tougher to pick what my anniversary date would be. There was the date when my OB/GYN called me to tell me my MRI results were in and the tumors shrank. At that time I only knew the tumors shrank and that it was almost unheard of that happening. She didn’t know what was the next step and I assumed I might still be having surgery. Then there was the phone call I had with my liver surgeon that happened 2 days before I was supposed to go in for my pre-op appointment. That was when my surgery was officially cancelled and I knew that I was a medical miracle.

But to me, I think I want to consider my non-surgery date as my medical miracle anniversary since it is the anniversary of my surgery not happening. It’s also an easier date to remember because I have to look back at a calendar to figure out what dates I got the phone calls from the doctors. And the surgery date was ingrained in my head while I prepped for it so it will be hard for me to forget it. So that mean today marks my 1 year anniversary of being a medical miracle.

It’s weird to think that 1 year ago I would have either still been in surgery or in a recovery room recovering from a major surgery. While I was looking forward to the surgery because I knew that I needed it, I’m much happier that I didn’t have to deal with a very long recovery from a major surgery. While I’ve had a few surgeries in my life, this would have been the biggest one and the first time I would have been in the hospital overnight (I would have been there for multiple days and nights to recover before going home).

When my surgery was initially cancelled, I did have a bit of a struggle because it felt like something in my life was unfinished. I also felt a bit out of control and disconnected because I had no sense that this was happening with my body (both the tumors existing and the tumors shrinking). It took a while for that feeling to go away, but now I’m just so grateful that I was lucky enough to not need a major surgery. As much as I prepared for that recovery, I know that there really isn’t a way to prepare and I was worried about how painful it might be and what my body may not be able to do for a while. I’m glad I didn’t have to have those worries but instead just got to enjoy a long visit with my parents instead of being in the hospital.

Since my medical miracle, there has been very little I’ve had to do with my liver. I am still limiting my drinking since I know alcohol can stress my liver (and I doubt stress is good for it). I’m taking some supplements for liver health because I figured it can’t hurt to do that and it’s not expensive to take them. And while I don’t have to worry about the tumor breaking off and causing me to bleed internally as much as I did before, I’m continuing to be cautious of not bumping my stomach into anything and avoiding any trauma I can to my abdomen.

I had an MRI 6 months after the miracle because my surgeon had no idea what really would happen with the tumors. The hope was that they would continue to shrink, but there was the possibility that they would either stay the same or grow and that would have led to me needing surgery. Fortunately, they did shrink a bit more (but not nearly as significantly as they did previously) and my surgeon and I went over what the plan would be. The plan is pretty limited as this is not the normal path, but basically I’m just continuing doing what I’m doing and then I’ll have another MRI in October (1 year from the most recent MRI).

Even a year later, I still think I’m a bit shocked about how this all turned out. Discovering I had a tumor was pretty dramatic with a full day at the hospital. Discovering what type of tumor I had and how large they were was pretty crazy too. And then being a medical miracle and having my surgery cancelled is something I never believed could happen. Even though my family always believes in the best for medical situations, my tumors shrinking to the point of my surgery being unnecessary didn’t really enter any of our minds. Hopefully the dramatics with these tumors is done now and my next MRI and all future ones will show the tumors shrinking. I guess I’ll find out in 6 more months.

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A Quick Vyvanse Update (or I Guess Forgetting Helps Time Pass)

Posted on March 30, 2018 | 1 comment

I’ve been on my new dosage of Vyvanse for a couple of months now. Even though I built in a transition period to the new dosage (as well as taking all my medication in the morning instead of splitting it up), I struggled for a long time with the dosage. I was feeling some similar symptoms to what I had when I started like a racing heart rate and some light-headedness. And when I had the phone call check up with my therapist, we discussed these issues since I was feeling a bit concerned.

My therapist encouraged me to keep taking the new dosage because I might just be having a longer adjustment period than I’m used to. While I’d like to say that I trusted her opinion, I felt pretty certain that she was wrong and I would need to go back to a lower dose. But I told her that I would give it until I needed to refill my prescription before I judged anything too much. I wasn’t that far into my prescription when I had that phone call, but I also knew that there could be an adjustment period and I had to see what would happen. Because I am monitored while taking Vyvanse, I knew that even with the side effects I might be feeling I wasn’t doing anything harmful to my body. I just had to see if things would eventually feel right again with me.

The other day I finished the first pill bottle and moved on to the second (my prescription is split into 2 bottles because of how many pills there are in a single refill) and I realized that I’m halfway through trying this dose before needing a refill. And I haven’t had any side effects for a little while either. It’s so weird because I really can’t remember the last time I felt my heart race issues unless I look at my workout blog posts and see when I wrote about it. Time just kind of went by and I didn’t even think about it.

I do think that maybe some of this could be because I’m not working out in the afternoons anymore, but at the same time that doesn’t necessarily make sense because I take my medication in the morning. But maybe since those morning workouts are even earlier, the medication might not be totally in my system yet? I don’t know and I also don’t know why I’m trying to justify anything. I should just be really happy that I’m feeling more normal again.

I think I was so focused on the side effects for so long because I was paranoid that I really didn’t think as much about how much this might be helping me. Of course, I am reminded of that whenever I have a day I don’t take it (like if I have the rare chance to sleep in). It does take the edge off of things and I still have days where food is the last thing on my mind. I struggle on those days to remember to eat even though I do have reminders to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But it’s all baby steps and I’m working on it.

I’m really so happy that the adjustment period seems to be over now. I didn’t express on here how worried I was about it and how often I wondered if I was making a mistake changing things up the way I did. I had so much trust in my old therapist and it was tough to give that much trust to someone new. And having issues with my medications was making that trust even tougher for me to give. But even without fully trusting my doctor, I had to just suck it up and believe that eventually it would get better and she knows what is possibly best for me.

Thankfully now I know that she was right (even though she was willing to admit if she was wrong and readjust things for me if needed) and that I’m over the hump I was dealing with. I want to get back to trying to run but I also know that I’ve lost so much progress over the past few months. I probably will need to start over with my running with running for 30 seconds to a minute at a time. But I know that I have built up my running endurance in the past and I’ll be able to get back there again eventually. And hopefully with the stress of the side effects out of my mind now, I can focus on other things in my life. There are more important and more fun things I’d like to have occupying my mind and now I can do that again without feeling like I’m being fake and ignoring a possible issue.

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An Easy Therapist Check-In (or Virtual Appointments Make Things Easier)

Posted on February 8, 2018 | 1 comment

Yesterday I had a check-in with my new therapist. This check-in was mainly to see how I was doing with the new medication dosage. I explained how I had been taking the increases slowly and that I am still adjusting to the new dosage, and she seemed to be pretty happy with the plan. It’s hard to tell what the correct dosage will be, so it will be a lot of trial and error. This is a different process than what I was doing with my old therapist, but I do like this new plan. I feel like it is more collaborative and that we are more of a team than a doctor telling me what to do.

This appointment was so much easier than what I’m used to because it was a phone call appointment. Yesterday morning, we had a time that my therapist was going to call me and we were going to talk over how things went. Of course, if I felt like I needed to meet in person I could have done that. But my therapist suggested a phone appointment for a check-in because it is easier to schedule and wouldn’t take up as much of my time. It was nice not having to drive to and from the appointments and being able to get it done early in the morning before I started work. I felt much more relaxed while talking because it didn’t feel as formal.

I don’t know why my old therapist never suggested phone appointments. I know that with him, he was much more into seeing if there was any more talk therapy that I wanted to do. Even though we came to the conclusion that I don’t really have issues to work through, I just have some sucky circumstances that I need to not rule my life. But those circumstances aren’t things I need to figure out, we know what they are and what they are doing to my mind. But he still liked to talk things through much more than this new therapist. This new therapist understands that in a way I only go in for appointments because I’m on a medication that requires it. She understands that talk therapy might be something I want in the future, but right now it’s not the priority in getting me into recovery. It’s a very different mindset, but I’m glad I had my old therapist in the beginning and this new therapist now.

In my phone call, I did discuss my issues with my workouts. It is frustrating to not be able to do cardio the way I want to, but I also need to give myself a decent amount of time to adjust to things. We did discuss brining my medication back down to a lower dosage (either what I started on or the middle dosage I was doing), but we both agreed that I haven’t had enough time yet on this new dosage to see if it will allow my workouts to get back to normal. I do like how I am feeling on this new dose and I feel like the medication is working much better, so I want to give it as much of a chance as possible. And I do have options if I need them and those won’t be going away so I can take my time.

My next medication refill will be in about 2 months. I will need to call or email my therapist to request the refill due to the restrictions on the medication. And at that point I think I will know what dosage I want to be on. And my therapist seems to agree that the timeline sounds good to her too. Of course, if in 2 weeks I feel like I need to step down to a lower dose, I can call in and she can write me a new prescription. But my plan is to try to take the next 2 months to see how I feel in all aspects of my life. If my eating disorder is significantly better but I can’t run, that might be a sacrifice I want to make. While my workouts are important, my recovery is more important and the priority in my life.

For my first phone appointment, I think it went really well and it reinforced the idea in my head that this is the therapist that I need now. She is much more scientific about things and that is really what works for me right now. My next appointment with my therapist (not counting in 2 months when I get my medication refill) will be in 6 months. I’m on the same appointment timeline as I was in the past, which is nice since I wasn’t sure it would be that way with a new doctor. But the next appointment is going to be unique because it’s going to be my first time ever doing a video chat appointment with a doctor! I’m actually pretty excited to have that option too because again it will save me the time of driving back and forth!

I know that not everyone likes technology, but I love that I have options to do virtual appointments with my therapist! It really helps to make appointments fit into my schedule better and I think that it will give me more options for when I can make appointments in the future. All of these things are good things and make me really hopeful that I’m on the right path toward recovery!

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Tumor Update Time! (or Guess I Won’t Have Another Of These For A While)

Posted on October 18, 2017 | 3 comments

As I mentioned in my post about getting my most recent MRI, I already knew that my liver tumors had shrunk again. That’s awesome news and I was so happy to hear that since if the tumors had grown or stayed the same I might have needed surgery. While I was mentally prepared for surgery since I thought I was having it earlier this year, I really don’t want any surgeries if I can help it. But even though I already had that good news, I didn’t know too much about what was happening which is why I met with my liver surgeon this week.

I actually hadn’t seen my liver surgeon in almost a year. I didn’t realize it had been that long, but the last time I saw him was after my second liver MRI (when we determined what type of tumors I had). After my MRI in April I didn’t see him since we had a phone call instead of me spending money for an appointment. He didn’t have a ton of answers for me then except that we should not do the surgery then because my case is pretty unique. So I was happy to see my surgeon again to discuss the plan and see what he thinks is going on.

I seriously have an awesome liver surgeon. I was randomly assigned him after it was discovered there was something happening with my liver, but I couldn’t have picked a better doctor. He totally gets that I want photos of my tumors, sends me the full radiologist report, and doesn’t mind that I always come in with a list of questions. And he talks to me normally (not talking down like some doctors do) and I think he is honestly entertained by my case since I’m so weird. In this past appointment, he said how he read about a case like mine in school but never thought that he’d get a patient with shrinking liver adenomas. I’m happy that he’s excited about what’s happening too.

This appointment was pretty easy. I already knew that the tumors shrank and he knew I’d want a bunch of photos of the screen showing my MRI so he set it up where we could see a side by side comparison. I did some editing since I know not everyone knows where the tumors are in my scans, but as you can see it’s pretty clear that the tumor is significantly smaller than it was a year ago.

In October last year the big tumor was 10cm, in April this year it was about 4cm, and this month it measured at just over 3cm. The smallest tumor is still gone (or too small to be seen on a scan) and the medium tumor is 1cm (it started at 3cm and measured at 1cm in April). My surgeon said that I’m in a pretty good spot now. He doesn’t recommend surgery for me since the tumor is small enough to not be a risk for me and the placement of it now has improved. There are still risks of it growing if I am pregnant one day, but he said that he isn’t worried about it.

We discussed options to get rid of it. There are some less invasive options than surgery, but because of the placement of my tumor they aren’t things I can do. My tumor is pressed against my stomach so anything like radiation or burning the tumor would risk injuring my stomach. The risks of those procedures outweighs the benefit of taking out the tumor. But we did talk about how there is a chance I’ll still need my gallbladder out one day and he said we could easily do the tumor removal at the same time. So now I know that whatever comes first (needing the tumor out or my gallbladder out) will also make the other surgery happen at the same time. I kind of like the idea of a 2 for 1 surgery.

We also discussed things for my future. Pregnancy is no longer as risky for me as it was when the tumors were larger and I pretty much knew that already. But in the past my surgeon mentioned that fertility treatments and hormone replacement therapies would not be an option for me because of the tumors. But this time, he said since it would be such a small procedure to take the tumor out, if I needed either of those one day I could just have the surgery to take out the tumor and then I could do them. I was not expecting that and it actually was a relief to hear that. I hope that I don’t need fertility treatments, but I’m aware of how many of my friends have issues getting pregnant (and I’m not getting any younger) so it’s nice to know that is an option if I need it. And I know that many women really have relief from menopause from hormone replacement therapy so it’s good to know that could be something I could use if I need it.

Besides discussing those few things, there really wasn’t much else to talk about in my appointment. There is still no medical explanation for why the tumors shrank when they usually don’t. I think it’s my visualization work that is helping do this. But there is nothing that my surgeon can tell me that I need to do or keep doing so my plan is to not really change anything. Since we don’t know what is doing this, I don’t want to change something only to discover that is why things are working.

Since there is no plan to have surgery (at least not until I need my gallbladder out), my surgeon told me that if I didn’t want to do any more follow ups I didn’t have to. While that’s a nice idea, I don’t think I would be able to not be worried about the tumors. So the plan now is that I will do another MRI in a year and we will have another chat about what’s happening. Hopefully the tumors are smaller in a year, but even if they aren’t I know they are an ok size right now.

It was weird enough to not have to do any liver related stuff for 6 months after my surgery was cancelled, but to be able to go a year without anything is even crazier! But I have no reason to worry about anything and now I get to work on hoping to continue to be a medical miracle and hopefully my appointment in a year will go as easily as this one did!

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Back To Focusing On Health (or Back To Back Doctor Appointments)

Posted on August 30, 2017 | Comments Off on Back To Focusing On Health (or Back To Back Doctor Appointments)

In some ways, it seems like I took the summer off from my health. The last big doctor appointment I had been not really an appointment at all but my MRI for my liver back in April. I never saw my liver surgeon after the MRI, we just had a phone call that went over most things plus some follow-up emails with some blood work instructions. And I did get my eyes checked this summer, but that was something I had been putting off and wasn’t that big of a deal.

But now, it seems like doctor appointments are coming quickly for me. Some of them have been normal things. I had an appointment with a dermatologist recently and will be going back for a follow-up in a week. That’s something I pretty much do every year. And yesterday was my annual appointment with my OB/GYN, which is another pretty normal appointment. Although it does seem like I’ve seen her a lot lately since I had my IUD appointment and follow-up for that not too long ago. Again, seeing my doctor every year for my annual appointment is very routine for me.

And I’m assuming I’ll be going in for a mammogram again this year, which isn’t the most fun thing but I know I need to do it. It’s funny how a year ago I was so stressed about having a breast MRI because I hate IVs and don’t love MRIs. But since that MRI, I’ve had so many with IVs so now that seems like the easier option. But it’s much more expensive and not necessary for me to do every year. I don’t know how often I’ll be alternating the mammograms with the MRIs, but that’s something that will be worked out for me by my doctor and a geneticist that my doctor consults with.

But even though it seems like all the routine doctor appointments are coming at me quickly, I also have to add in my liver stuff too. I will be doing my next liver MRI in the next month or so and then I’ll have the follow-up that goes along with that. Obviously, my hope is that the tumors have continued to shrink so that I can just keep doing what I’m doing and hopefully I’ll just have to do another follow-up MRI in 6 months. If they keep shrinking or disappear completely, there’s a chance I’ll still have to do semi-annual or annual MRIs, but that’s not that bad. I could deal with MRIs every month if that meant I didn’t need to have surgery.

But of course, there is always the worry that the tumors have grown or stayed the same. If they are the same, I’m in a weird spot because I still could benefit from surgery but I could also wait longer to see if they shrink again. To me, having them stay the same is the worst case because there’s no clear answer on what I should do. And if the tumors have grown, I need to have surgery and that’s that. I don’t want surgery, but I also don’t want tumors in me that are growing because that can turn life threatening.

I’ve been doing my tumor visualization every day and I haven’t really changed much in my routine since I found out my tumors have shrunk. So I’m really hopeful that the tumors have shrunk. But I’m back to feeling a bit disconnected to my body since there is no way for me to know what’s happening until I have the MRI. I’m not going to stress about it because there is nothing I can do beyond what I’m doing. And if my MRI ends up being in October, I don’t want to spend all of September stressed about it.

It’s interesting how the timing of things worked out where it was pretty much a summer off of medical stuff. Considering how much medical craziness I’ve had lately, it was nice to have a break so I could focus more on my life and not on the what ifs with my body. But it’s time to buckle down and get back to making sure that I’m doing everything I can for my health and to make sure that I’m on top of all the things I need to concern myself about.

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