Tag Archives: breast cancer

A Screening At The Walt Disney Studios Lot (or “What The F@#- Is Cancer And Why Does Everyone Have It?”

Through WIF, I was invited to an amazing screening this past week. It was for the film “What The F@#- Is Cancer And Why Does Everyone Have It?”.

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Immediately, I was interested in attending the event. I was even more excited when I found out that it was held on the Walt Disney Studios Lot (which I have never been on before).

When I got my ticket for the event, I found out that I got to bring a plus one with me. I asked my Evil Twin, Shey, to come with me. Her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer many years ago and Shey was one of the people who really helped me deal with my mom’s diagnosis and what it meant for me. I knew that this would be a movie that both of us would enjoy and have a deep connection to.

When we got to the lot, we were both so excited to be there. The lot has not changed a lot since Walt Disney was there and it was so cool walking around to see all the different buildings and the signs of what departments they were on our way to the theater.

When we got there, there was a giant poster of “Frozen” to greet us.

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The theater was gorgeous and amazing. The seats were super comfortable and Shey and I got there early enough to get some great seats.

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The quick summary of the film is when the filmmaker, Allison W. Gryphon, was diagnosed with breast cancer, she looked for a movie to help her understand what it all meant. She couldn’t find what she was looking for, so she asked around to her friends to help and they created this wonderful documentary.

I wish I could explain how amazing this movie was, but I know that my words won’t do it justice. I wish that I had seen this when my mom was diagnosed (I think it would have been great for her to see it when she was diagnosed as well). It was such an honest viewpoint of cancer (mainly breast cancer) and answered so many questions that are either not answered online or are way too scary to look up online.

I know for sure that if I hear of anyone else being diagnosed with breast cancer, I will send them a link to this movie immediately (it’s available on iTunes and you should all watch it).

After the screening, there was a Q&A with the Allison.

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The Q&A ran a little long (it was over an hour), but it was all very informative. The fact that Allison was able to create the documentary while she was going through treatments for breast cancer is so inspiring. And it proves that anything can inspire you to create a movie.

After the Q&A, I went up to talk to Allison briefly. She was so kind and generous with her time and all I wanted to say was thank you. This really was such a great experience seeing the movie.

Then, it was time for Shey and I to head out. But before we went back into the parking garage, I really wanted to get a picture of the building on the lot that has all of the Seven Dwarfs on it. We saw a security guard near where we were walking and we asked him if it would be ok to take a picture. Not only was it ok, he walked us to where the best view was!

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While Shey and I were taking photos and just being in awe of the fact that we were there, the security guard told us some amazing Disney history. He explained that the Seven Dwarfs are holding up the building because the building was made with the profits of “Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs”. He also showed us where Walt Disney’s office was. Shey and I both assumed that that office wasn’t in use anymore and was preserved as a dedication to Walt Disney. Nope, they rent it out because it’s the best office that gets the most rent money.

We then said goodbye to the awesome security guard (whose name I never got), and then went back to my car.

I wish I could express how amazing seeing the movie was, but I’m really still taking it all in. It was one of those experiences that I know will stay with me for a long time. There are screenings still happening so if there is one near you, I highly recommend going.

And while I hope that nobody reading this has to go through a breast cancer diagnoses, if you do, watch the movie.

Long Layover Visit (or Celebrating With My Mom In Person)

This past Thursday my parents had a couple of flights. The first flight brought them to LAX where they had about a 10 hour layover. So when my parents knew that this was the situation, they asked me what my plans were for the afternoon. And of course, I immediately cleared my schedule so I could get them and spend some time with them.

The first thing we did at my house was a project (of course). A drawer on my dresser broke and my dad said that he would work on fixing it. We were finally able to create a fix, but we really need to work on it when my dad has the time to go to the hardware store and get some proper things (right now, the drawer is fixed with tape).

Since it was a nice day out, we also took a walk around my neighborhood. My parents haven’t really walked around my neighborhood that much. Usually when they are over at my house, we are working on something and then driving to another activity. But since we had all the free time in the afternoon, we took a very nice walk.

It’s fun to see my parents seeing more about where I live. My mom grew up in LA, but not near where I live. So it’s interesting to see them discovering why I love my area so much.

After walking around, it was time for linner (lunch/dinner). My parents wanted something filling so they wouldn’t be hungry on their next flight, so I took them over to Westside Tavern. I’ve been there plenty of times (it’s right next to one of my favorite movie theaters) but my parents have never been.

And since we were celebrating my mom’s final chemo treatment and her being cancer free, of course she got some champagne.

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We had a nice relaxing dinner and then headed back to my place. We spent some time watching tv and I helped both my parents with iPad questions (which is how I “pay” for the house repairs my dad does) and before we knew it, it was time for me to take them back to LAX for their next flight.

Their layover on the flight back isn’t nearly as long as this one was, but I might get to see them again then. But if not, Thanksgiving will be here before you know it and I’ll see them (and Tucker!) for a couple of days then.

I’m just so grateful that I’m in a work situation right now that allowed me to take the afternoon off so I could spend it with my parents. It was a nice treat for me to get to see them and I’m sure that they preferred hanging out at my house over spending 10 hours waiting at LAX for their next flight.

Orange Goes Pink (or The Week In Workouts)

This past week was another killer week of workouts for me. It didn’t help that on Friday my hip decided to pop out as I was getting out of my car and didn’t want to pop back until after the workout was done. But I did my best given the circumstances.

The Monday challenge was a 2 minute row. And it was as simple as it sounds. Row as far as you can in 2 minutes. The top 5 distances for women and for men would be posted.

I was surprised when I did the Monday challenge. Only myself and one other girl decided to do it after my class. I’m not sure why nobody else wanted to.

But that was fine. She and I rowed next to each other and encouraged each other on (she had a goal to beat the distance her mom was able to do).

I did ok. I went farther than I thought I could, but I knew that I wasn’t going to be in the top 5 (there were more than 5 people who had done the challenge in the morning classes with farther distances than mine).

But what I thought was the coolest part of my week in workouts was the support that was going on because of October being breast cancer awareness month.

I think most of you reading this know what breast cancer means to me and my family. I am happy to report that I did get the results of my mammogram back and everything is fine. The only thing that makes me nervous is that the type of breast cancer that my mom had is not really detectable on a mammogram. So even though my doctor is advising me to do annual mammograms now, my mom suggested that I see about doing mammograms and MRIs on alternating years (my mom’s cancer was found on an MRI).

Anyway, back to how OrangeTheory is support breast cancer awareness. This past Saturday there was an event at the gym (sadly I couldn’t make it). For every calorie burned during class for the entire day, they were going to donate a penny to breast cancer causes. So for example, I typically burn about 500 calories in class. They would donate $5 for that. Between the calories burned over the day and some other donations that came in, they were able to give a nice donation to the charity.

They have also decided to make the orange zone on the heart rate monitors pink for the month.

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So instead of striving to be in the orange zone for 12-20 minutes in class, you want to be in the pink zone.

Not only is it a nice way to show support, I think it’s pretty fun too.

Beyond that, my workouts have been pretty normal. I’m getting used to the schedule and have been able to maintain my M/W/F workouts. I’m getting a little nervous about Thanksgiving and how I will keep up my workouts then, but I’ve got plenty of time to figure that out.

But I keep thinking to myself that the fact that I’m trying to plan my workouts for something that is a month away is a major step for me. I have never been this dedicated to working out without a goal date (the only other time I was this dedicated was when I was losing as much weight as possible before my hip surgery). While the food plans are still tough on me, now that working out is seeming to be normal and expected, I’m getting better and better.

I’m excited for my next 5K (which is less than 4 weeks away). I’m curious how much progress I will have made now that I’m doing treadmill training 3 times a week.

Getting A Mammogram (or I Guess This Was A Rite Of Passage)

When my mom tested negative for the breast cancer gene mutation, I figured that I didn’t have to do anything. My only concern was if she tested positive to get myself tested to see if I had the mutation.

But my mom’s geneticist did say that I needed to still be monitored a bit more carefully throughout my life. While my mom’s cancer is most likely a post-menopause cancer, the extra monitoring started this past weekend.

Earlier this month, I had my annual appointment with my gynecologist. She was actually one of my dad’s residents (have I ever mentioned that my dad used to be an OB/GYN and he was in charge of training all the residents in his department?) so she’s known my family for a long time. And when I saw her last year, it was right after my mom’s surgery but before too much else was done. So she knew that I would be coming in to this appointment with a lot more information.

I relayed all the important information to my doctor and then told her how my mom’s geneticist wanted me to get a mammogram this year. Even though my mom’s cancer is post-menopausal, my parents thought (and I kind of agree) that this mammogram was kind of to cover the doctors’ butts and so they could say that they did extra monitoring of me. But my doctor was more than willing to write in the order for the test and I went home that day with the phone number to set up my appointment.

I managed to get an appointment for this past Sunday (who knew they did mammograms 7 days a week?!?), and I was so nervous. I searched the internet for how to prepare for a mammogram and I bugged my mom about how much it was going to hurt. I know that she tried to prepare me the best she could.

When I go to the hospital on Sunday, the first thing I got was my hospital bracelet.

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I didn’t understand why I needed a bracelet, but later my mom said that it was because the person who checks you in for the appointment is not in the same area as the technician who does the mammogram. This way, nobody can pretend to be you.

I waited about 10 minutes and tried to read my book, but again, my nerves were getting the best of me. Finally it was my turn to head back to the room and I faced the mammogram machine.

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I swear that it looked scarier in person.

I then had to undress from the waist up (note to anyone who hasn’t gone for a mammogram yet: don’t wear a dress to your appointment) and then it was time to get squished.

And I’m not going to lie.

It hurt.

I was warned that because I’m young and have bigger breasts, I have more tissue and not only might it hurt more, I might have to go in for a repeat mammogram another time to make sure they get a clear picture.

The pain was not where I expected it. The squishing part actually wasn’t too horrible. But because of how you have to fit into the machine, the skin near my collarbone hurt so badly that my eyes teared up!

The mammogram was 4 different views (2 on each side). And I had to do 3 of them a second time right then and there because they didn’t get a good picture (I still don’t know if I have to go in for an entirely new appointment yet). But after about 10 minutes I was done.

While getting dressed again I noticed that I was starting to get bruises all over my chest (I bruise pretty easily to begin with). They only got uglier looking throughout the day. I’d put a picture of my bruises on here but I really don’t feel the need to post a topless photo on a public blog. Fortunately, the bruises are all almost gone now.

If I have to go in again for a repeat mammogram, I’m supposed to find out in the next week or so. If everything looks good, I’ll get a letter within a month.

I don’t know if I get the letter saying that everything is good if that means I don’t have to get another mammogram for another 9 years. Nobody really seemed to know the answer to that, but I’ll see what comes up as a health reminder on my profile on the Kaiser website.

If I have to go back next year, I’ll do it. It’s so important to be checked out and to make sure everything is ok (even if you don’t have a family history of breast cancer).

But the next time I go, I’m totally taking a painkiller before I go so it doesn’t hurt so much.

Another Mom Update (or Almost All Done)

While my mom has already finished all of her prescribed treatments for breast cancer, there are still a few things that still need to be done.

First of all, my mom is still getting chemo every 3 weeks. This is not something that was part of her original treatment plan. But once my mom was diagnosed, she applied for a drug trial and got accepted. The drug trial is for this other chemo. She has 3 more treatments of it, so it feels like it’s almost done.

Since my mom tested negative for the BRCA mutation, that also eliminates a lot of things that we were prepared to have to go through. My mom is done working with the geneticist now and I only have a few things that the geneticist recommended for me to do. Mainly, I need to go get a mammogram this year, which I will do in the next month or two (I was waiting to see what potential job schedules could be like before scheduling a doctor’s appointment). But that’s pretty minimal. The reason for me to get a mammogram is to have a baseline one to compare future mammograms to, not to necessarily look for cancer (although I’m sure they will do that too).

Finally, my mom had to go through some medical tests to make sure that her body is free of cancer (or at least as far as they can tell it’s free of cancer).

First, a few weeks ago she had a CT where they checked her pelvis, chest, and abdomen. My mom told me that it might take a day or two to get the results from the test, but about an hour after the test my mom got a phone call saying that there are no signs of cancer in any area that they looked in. So that’s pretty awesome news!

And then last week my mom had a mammogram and MRI and both of those came back clean as well!

So besides the 3 remaining chemo treatments (and me getting a mammogram), the cancer journey is almost over. It’s been over a year since my mom was diagnosed and it feels like it flew by in an instant and has been going on for years at the same time.

I’m excited for my mom to be done with everything. For almost the entire time during this journey my mom has pretty much been able to do everything that she has always been able to do (she’s a rockstar that way). One of the last things to get her back to her “old” self is that she will be dyeing her hair back to blonde next week (when it grew back it came in brown). Once that’s done, even when she choses not to wear the wig, people who didn’t know what had happened will have no idea.

I’ll still blog occasional updates on things (and you all know that I’ll totally be blogging about my first mammogram), but it really feels like the journey is coming to an end. I’m so grateful that my mom has really kicked butt through all of this and that it looks like the end of this journey will really be the end.

500 Posts! (or A Reason To Celebrate!)

Today’s post is about a lot of good things that have happened lately.

First of all, like the title of this post says, this is my 500th post on Finding My Inner Bombshell! That’s so bonkers to me! I write 5 days a week so that means I’ve been writing for 100 weeks. So yes, that also means that my 2 year anniversary of the blog is coming up soon as well.

I’m still in shock how this blog really has become an important part of my life. When I started, I hoped I’d be able to keep it going. Now when I’m not writing on the weekends, I feel like something is missing. I’ve made new friends because of the blog and I’ve become closer to old friends because of my honesty here. It’s just awesome.

The next part of my awesome news is that my mom got her BRCA test results back and she doesn’t have the gene mutation! When my mom texted me with the news, I cried in relief. This is a weight lifted off my shoulders (and I’m sure the rest of my family feels this way). When I talked to my mom that day, she said that getting these results have allowed her to relax and she can go on and enjoy life. And for me, it means that while I still have a higher risk of getting breast cancer in my life because my mom had it, it’s not nearly as high of a risk if I had had the gene mutation.

I’m still going to be monitored much closer and I’ve already talked with my gynecologist about setting up a mammogram appointment after I see her (I’m sure I’ll be writing about that appointment when it happens because I’m still crazy nervous about it).

The third, and technically, final good news is that I’m finally starting to get back on track with losing weight. I’ve lost about 10% of what I had gained recently. It’s not a lot, but it’s totally a start. I’m working on my eating and I’ve been working out again. My journey is still going to be a long one, but I’m happy to be moving in the right direction again.

And in other celebratory things (but not technically good news), today is my friend Kate’s birthday! I’ll be seeing her next week, so we’ll get to celebrate her birthday then, but I wanted to acknowledge how amazing of a friend she is. She was the first person I talked to when my mom was diagnosed with cancer. She kept the news a secret for a while until my mom was ready to go public with the news. And she was there to listen to me whenever I was freaking out or having a tough time. Not many friends would or could do that and I’m so insanely grateful that she was willing to be there for me.

So to recap: yay for 500 posts, yay for my mom not having the BRCA gene, yay for me losing some weight, and happy birthday to Kate!

I love how my life has become so wonderful and positive!

A Phone Call Can Change My Future (or Making Plans)

A few weeks ago, my mom did her genetic testing for the breast cancer gene mutation. This Wednesday, my mom gets a phone call and will find out the result.

My family has been very open about discussing what either a positive or negative result means for everyone in the family. And I’ve talked about it a lot with my mom.

She has her own ideas of what she wants to do in both cases (and it’s not my place to discuss what she wants to do until she tells me I can share it). And I’ve had to make my own plans.

Since I’m all about honesty here, I figured I would share my plans openly. While I really do believe that my mom will test negative for the gene mutation, everything I’ve read has said to be prepared for the worst case scenario.

First of all, no matter what the results are, I’m going to start being monitored much more carefully for breast cancer now. I’ve got a much higher risk of getting it now since my mom had it. My mom’s doctors believe that I will probably have to get my first mammogram this year when I go in for my annual exam. I always schedule my annual exam to be around my birthday (harder to forget to schedule it that way), so I need to talk to my gynecologist about whether or not she wants me to have a mammogram soon and if she’d like me to do it before I see her. I’m a little nervous to get a mammogram since I’ve never had one and I’ve heard that they are pretty unpleasant. Also, I’m a little worried that this isn’t going to be enough monitoring because my mom’s cancer wasn’t found on a mammogram.

If my mom tests positive for the gene mutation, I’ve already made the decision that I want to be tested immediately. I don’t see any reason not to know. If I’m positive, I can make plans that help reduce my risk. If I test negative, I will still have to always be monitored more than most people, but I won’t have to take as extreme of measures.

And those extreme measures do include having  double mastectomy. I know that if I do test positive for the gene mutation, I will eventually take this step. I won’t do it until I have kids (whenever that ends up being), but to me, not taking this step is just asking to be a ticking time bomb. I know that many people who do test positive don’t want to do this or have to go through such a tough surgery, but in my mind, if I don’t I will be paranoid all the time. I would also probably have my ovaries removed (since that cancer is normally not detected until it’s very advanced), but again, I wouldn’t do anything until after I have kids.

I have told a couple of friends my plans as well and I think that talking openly and honestly about it has made it all seem less scary. I really am prepared for the worst case now. But every time my mom and I have talked about this on the phone, we both agree that the chances of her testing positive are so slim that we both feel pretty confident that it will be negative.

If any of you have gone through this, I’d really appreciate any advice you can give me. My family is still going through the unknown here and I like hearing the advice and stories of people who have gone through this. Hearing other’s stories has helped me make my plan and feel confident that what I’ve decided will be the right choice for me.

Happy Birthday Mommy! (or The Past Year In Review)

Today is my mom’s birthday. I know I’ve written a birthday post to her in the past, but I think that since this past year has been quite a year, she deserves a new birthday post to celebrate everything from the past year.

Since my mom’s last birthday she was diagnosed with breast cancer and kicked ass while completing all her treatments. While my mom was going through her treatments, I got to see her a few times.

The first time I saw my mom was after her surgery but before she started chemo. This was on my trip to Tahoe. And during that trip, not only did we hike a lot, my mom took me off-road driving and drove so aggressively that I had a seatbelt bruise for days afterwards!

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I also got to see my mom when we all went to Maui for my brother’s wedding. That was a great week filled with lots of adventures.

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After the wedding was when my mom started her chemo treatments, and I have to say that she was able to still be her usual ass kicking self through all of it. I’m still amazed that she still played tennis (and usually won) ever week. She even scheduled chemo around her tennis matches.

Usually, my parents are in Tahoe a lot during the winter (so my dad can fulfill his dream of being a ski bum), but because of the treatment schedule, they didn’t get to go too often. That’s ok since Tahoe had a horrible winter as far as snowfall goes.

Somehow, the universe must have known that my mom was done with all her treatments because there was a good snowfall the other day. So my mom, dad, and Tucker are all up in Tahoe this week celebrating my mom’s birthday.

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While thinking back at this past year, I think my family has become much more grateful for the little things. I don’t think we were ever ungrateful people, but we make more of an effort to be grateful now.

I’m so grateful for my mom (and dad) for so many reasons. While they don’t completely understand my desire to act, they support it as much as they can. I’m grateful that my parents are willing to pay for me to fly home so I can see them (and Tucker). I know some friends who don’t have that opportunity so they don’t get to see their family very often. I’m also really grateful that my mom is almost as much of a Disneyland nerd as I am, and we are going to try to get my dad to enjoy Disneyland as well when the 3 of us go to celebrate my mom’s birthday/the end of her treatments later this month.

I know that my mom is going to have an awesome birthday today. I’m sure she, my dad, and Tucker are going to go on some sort of adventure in Tahoe. I’ll just have to wait to celebrate with her in a few weeks.

The End, Kind Of (or My Mom Is Seriously A Rockstar!)

Yesterday was my mom’s last radiation appointment. Technically, she is officially done with all the treatments that her doctor prescribed to her to beat breast cancer. I say technically because she is in a drug trial right now and still has to finish that, but it wasn’t part of the original treatment plan.

I can’t believe that my mom is done. It seems like it’s been forever and super quick at the same time. Since July, she’s gone through a mastectomy, 2 different types of chemo, and a full course of radiation. And through it all, she’s kicked so much butt.

She never let any of her treatments get her down or set her back in any way. She’s gone through having our beloved dog get cancer (and having to put him down), getting a new puppy (who passed away suddenly), and raising another puppy. That’s more than most people could handle, even without cancer. But she has really been the rock of the family through all of that.

This has been long journey for our family, and there are still some things that are a bit uncertain. We haven’t gone through the genetic testing yet, so I’m not sure what my future looks like in terms of my chances of getting breast or ovarian cancer. We are going to do this, we just having had the chance yet (although my mom and I have both taken an online class required by my mom’s hospital to start the testing).

Also, I’ve learned that there’s no way to know if someone is completely cancer free after breast cancer. There’s not really a test for it. All they can do it be extra vigilant with monitoring my mom. But I really thought before all of this that there was some blood work or something that you could do to prove you don’t have cancer anymore. You can’t do that with breast cancer.

I really do wish that there was some way to guarantee that my mom beat this. Although there really isn’t a question in my mind that she did, I still want some proof and not just a gut feeling. It sucks that that isn’t possible.

But instead of focusing on that, we are going to focus on how awesome my mom is. Yesterday after her final radiation, she went out to lunch with friends. I don’t know what other celebrations she has scheduled soon, but in month I know how I will be celebrating with her.

My mom, my dad, and I are going to be going to Disneyland for 2 days (and staying overnight in one of the Disneyland hotels) to celebrate the end of her treatments. My mom is a Disneyland person like me, but I don’t think my dad has gone to the theme park for maybe 15 years. He has no idea what he is getting himself into by going to the parks with me and my mom. But in my opinion, going to the happiest place on earth seems like the perfect place to celebrate. That’s coming up in a month.

I also wanted to say thank you to all of you reading this. Throughout this journey, many of you have shared your own journeys with me. You’ve said prayers for my family and kept us in your thoughts. There’s no question in my mind that your thoughts and prayers helped my mom do so well in all of her treatments. I know that some of you know me in real life, but for those of you who don’t, I’m so touched that you took time out of your life to think about my mom. It means the world to me that you did that (and I’m sure my mom would thank you too).

This isn’t exactly the end of the journey for breast cancer in my family, but it’s the end of a major part of it. As more things happen, I’ll update you all. If I have to go through genetic testing, I will share all of that with you (and be completely open and honest).

Here’s to my mom: the ultimate cancer ass-kicking rockstar!

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Exciting Weekend Plans (or Finally Meeting The Puppy!)

As you are reading this, I’m on my way to the Bay Area to see my parents and finally meet Tucker! I’m so excited! I’ve been seeing so many videos and pictures of Tucker that my parents send to me, but I’ve been waiting for what seems like forever (but in reality like 6 weeks) to meet him!

And Tucker is no longer a baby puppy. This week he graduated from puppy socialization school (although in the end he ended up being the only puppy to finish all the classes) and my dad texted me this picture yesterday morning.

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It’s hard to tell, but Tucker lost his first puppy tooth (right in the middle on top)! He’s officially becoming a grown up puppy now!

I’m also excited to see my parents. It will be my first visit with my mom since she finished chemo (and by the time I get to the house tomorrow she will be 1/3 of the way done with radiation). And I’m planning a fun trip to the gym with my dad (more on that when we get it done).

I’ll also be seeing my brother and sister-in-law on Saturday. My sister-in-law and I have a lot of planning to get done for our trip, which is coming up in a month, so we’ll be working on that this weekend.

Going home will also be a nice break from being in LA and feeling a little lost without a job. But I will say that after my 2 job trial offers I got this week, my 3rd interview resulted in me getting hired! I’ll be working as an on-call personal assistant. There’s no guarantee with hours and the pay is independent contractor (so I have so save a lot of the money I earn to pay my taxes), but it’s something. And my birthday twin, Joanna, is hired by this company as well so I know that it’s a good and flexible day job.

As I’ve said before, I’m hoping that this round of unemployment ends quickly. While I’m getting by with unemployment money, it’s not enough to pay all the bills (or pay down my credit card). I don’t want to be surviving on that money for too long.

But for now, I’m not focusing on my lack of work but my excitement about meeting Tucker (and seeing everyone else in my family!)! And seeing my family will make my Valentine’s Day a day filled with people I love. I hope that you all get to have the same!