Honesty Time (or Going Backwards)

I haven’t talked about weight loss on here for a while. And it’s because things are going so great for me right now.

In fact, I’ve gained a decent amount of weight. I haven’t gained everything that I lost, but I gained back a good chunk of it.

And I haven’t wanted to share that on here because I don’t want to disappoint you all. But then I realized that everyone who is going through weight struggles has this moment. I’ve had it before and I’m sure I’ll have it again.

What makes this different is I stopped it (or at least realized it) before all the progress I had made disappeared. And I’m trying to take steps to go back in the right direction.

Why the weight gain? Well, lately both my food choices haven’t been great and I’ve been skipping workouts. So of course I should expect weight gain.

The thing is, I didn’t realize how long it had been since I last worked out. When I finally looked at my history at SoulCycle, I realized that I haven’t been there in a month. And my last workout was the blogger event at FlyWheel. But that was several weeks ago.

Since realizing this over the weekend, I have had a big workout (but that will come in another post). But missing workouts was only part of the picture. Food is always going to be a battle for me and I don’t want it to beat me. So I downloaded several books onto my kindle about eating disorders (mostly on binge eating but some on eating disorders in general).

I starting with a book that I saw recommended on another blog that I read. I’m about a third of the way done with it and it is eye-opening to see that other people have the exact same struggles that I do. Somehow it feels like eating disorders are a very lonely thing and nobody understands how you feel. But when you are really open and honest about it you find that there are other people who get exactly what you go through.

I’m hoping to get myself back on the right track quickly. I have another 5K coming up in less than 2 weeks and I don’t want to be unprepared for it.

But if nothing else, at least I recognized that I was slipping before I got back to the start line.

One response to “Honesty Time (or Going Backwards)

  1. Yay for you for posting! Obviously, we never enjoy sharing our failures with people – but in addition to commiserating with others who are going through or have been through the same stuff as you (*raises hand*), it also makes you accountable. I realized when I wouldn’t write about my failures on my blog, or in my FB updates about my workouts, that what I was doing was pulling away. And pulling away is SO dangerous, because that’s (for me anyway) the worst place to be. I’m more likely to overeat, or skip workouts, when I don’t connect with people. I tend to overeat when I sneak it – so when my boyfriend is out of the house working a job, that’s when I tend to binge. So, while I need to figure out how to be around food when I’m alone, I also know that I need a strong network, so pulling away, even about my failures, is a bad idea.

    Thanks for the book recommendation, though. I’m going to check it out. While I’ve just started therapy to start digging into the food stuff, I’m curious about what this book lays out.

    BTW – lemme know if you ever wanna talk about this stuff (or work out with me!). 🙂 I’m always down!

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