Tag Archives: acting

A Goodbye Dinner (or My Friend Is Becoming A Georgia Peach)

Posted on March 25, 2016 | Comments Off on A Goodbye Dinner (or My Friend Is Becoming A Georgia Peach)

While I love celebrating all of my friends‘ accomplishments, sometimes those accomplishments are a bit sad too. My friend Brandi announced recently that she and her family are moving to Atlanta and she had her goodbye dinner the other day. I’m happy for the new adventure that she’s going on, but I’m sad that a friend is moving away.

Brandi and I have been friends for a while. I actually can’t remember exactly how we met. I think it might have been through The Actors’ Network but we’ve known each other so long that I can’t be sure. Ever since we met, she’s been an amazing friend to me. She’s the one who started our Girls Night Out group and because of that I met so many of my other friends. She’s helped out with the Inside Acting 200th episode celebration by making custom cookies for us, and then she inspired so many of us with her amazing story when she was interviewed on the podcast. She has accomplished so many things in her career and I only hope that I can have similar successes to her some day.

With Brandi

Brandi’s move is going to be a really good thing for her. She’s got family near there and there are so many opportunities for actors there. I’ve already told her that I’m expecting that it’s just a matter of time now before she is cast on “The Walking Dead”. While I wish that she was staying in LA, I know that her move to Atlanta is the best thing for her and her family. Plus, I know she’ll be making trips to LA every so often (and this gives me an excuse to go to Atlanta for the first time)!

Brandi’s dinner was technically also a Girls Night Out gathering, but since Brandi wanted to invite some of her guy friends too we made it co-ed. It was the same night as the rock opera screening, so I was a bit late arriving to the dinner but that was ok. As soon as the screening was done, I got into my car and drove over. I was only about an hour late, but because there was horrible traffic everyone was late too.

The dinner was held at Kitchen 24. Originally I was totally going to stay there for dinner and hang out with Brandi and everyone else as much as possible. But because I got there late and was exhausted that evening, I was only able to be there for about an hour an a half. All the food there looked amazing, but it was a bit late for me to eat and I knew that I needed to be out of there by a certain time. I wish I could have ordered something because when everyone else started to get food, it smelled so yummy. So I guess I’ll have to go out there another time to try it out.

Since I wasn’t eating while I was there, I spent my time chatting with my friends. Some of them I haven’t seen in a long time, but since we are friends on Facebook it always seems like I know what they’ve been up to. It actually shocked some of us when we realized it had been over a year since we had seen each other! So even though we were virtually caught up, it was nice to catch up for real. And we all started planning our next Girls Night Out since it has been almost 2 years since our last real one. So we are working on scheduling the next one (and making sure that we FaceTime Brandi in so she can be a part of it) and hopefully we get a good turnout for it.

Before I knew it, I had to head back home. I’ll see Brandi one more time for sure before she moves because I am giving her some of my old suitcases to use for moving. So it wasn’t a big goodbye when I said goodbye, but it was still sad. I know with Facebook, twitter, Instagram, and other technologies that it won’t be that hard to stay in touch when she moves; but it won’t be the same. And I think having to say goodbye was also a lesson to the rest of us that we have been slacking on seeing each other in person and we need to remedy that now.

But for now, it’s bon voyage to Brandi and the amazing adventure she’s going on. I have no doubts that this move is going to benefit her career so much and before we know it she’ll be back in LA again accepting an amazing award or something!

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Reflection (or I’m Totally Living My Dream)

Posted on March 18, 2016 | 1 comment

The other night, I went out to dinner with my friend Erin. Erin is pretty amazing (she’s created a spoof series/rock opera) and she and I have been hanging out lately. First, we started hanging out because of our mutual love of “X-Files” (and me having a DVR when she doesn’t have cable), but we also are now working on putting together a project together. After we had an official meeting, we went to dinner to kill time during rush hour before she went home.

It’s seriously so inspirational to have friends who are really living their dream and doing exactly what they want to do with life. Sometimes I feel like I’m the farthest away from doing that, but nobody makes me feel less than or puts down the fact that I’m working multiple day jobs.

During our dinner, we did talk about what our ultimate dreams are (for me, it’s a series regular role on a sitcom-style tv show). And I really started to think about where I am in my life and how far I’ve come.

Yes, I’m still working multiple day jobs and I don’t make a living by being an actor. But honestly, I’m living everything that I dreamed of from when I decided to be an actor.

I moved to LA when I was 18 (to attend college) and have never moved away. In a couple of years, I will have lived in LA longer than I lived in the Bay Area. I have a really cool house that I rent and I’m able to afford my rent and bills. I have a working car and it gets me everywhere I need to go. I can go to the beach, see the Hollywood sign, and go to famous landmarks whenever I have the time if I want.

I am pursing acting. I have amazing agents who I love, casting directors who believe in me, and a community of fellow actors who are super supportive. I don’t audition as often as others may, but the auditions I get are usually for higher level parts than I would expect (series regulars versus auditioning for a 1 line part). I have acting coaches who I can work with when I need to prepare for a big audition. I’ve taking acting classes with amazing teachers and have more classes that I want to take. I have headshots that represent me and get me into auditions that are right for me and my type.

I have amazing friends in LA and in other parts of the country. There was a time when I wondered if I was going to be friendless for a long time (and it did feel like a really long time before I really built up my friends circle), but fortunately that changed. My friends are actors and non-actors, but everyone is equally supportive. I have friends who support me at my workouts, friends who support me at my auditions, friends who are helping me creating acting work, and friends who support me when times are tough. I know that if I needed something or someone that I could find a friend who would come to help me anytime day or night (and I would do the same for any of my friends).

I get to go on a bunch of fun adventures. A lot of adventures are local, but all of them are amazing. I can go to Disneyland whenever I have free time, I’ve been to secret clubs in LA, and I get invited to screenings year-round. When I do get to go out-of-town, there’s always something really awesome planned. While I’m hoping to be able to travel internationally again in the near future, there’s enough great stuff in California alone to keep me happy.

While I’m still battling my eating disorder, I’m now viewing it as a battle and not something completely out of my control. I know that one day this will be in my past and those demons will be gone from my life. But thinking of it as a battle has helped me make more progress this past year than I have in my entire life. And the fact that I have a regular workout routine is helping me in my battle and the workouts are making me so happy. I feel like I’m taking control of my health and that is awesome.

When I was hanging out with Erin, we talked about some of these things. Sometimes, I do have to remind myself that this is my life. There are times that I meet celebrities that I was obsessed with as a teenager at an event and get to chat with them for a bit. If the 14-year-old me knew that this was in my future, I’m sure that I would have been much less stressed about school. Honestly, things have happened in my life that I never would have believed would happen to me. It’s awesome that this has been my life so far, and I know that it’s only going to get better.

I already know that this year is going to be better than last year. I have some really amazing things coming up and in the works and I know that they will lead to bigger and better things. And with this year only being about a quarter of the way done, I’ve got plenty of time to make this year even more awesome!

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Being Proactive (or Bringing Acting To Me)

Posted on March 10, 2016 | Comments Off on Being Proactive (or Bringing Acting To Me)

It’s really tough as an actor when you feel l like you aren’t making any momentum in your career. I haven’t had an audition in a while and that’s a bit frustrating. Right now there are no improv classes at a time that works for me, so I can’t enroll in the next level of classes. I’m not really losing weight so I don’t need new headshots or other things like that. And there’s not too much I can do about those things.

I know that so many people say that actors should focus on creating their own roles and projects, but I’m not a writer. I can write on here and on other blogs, but it doesn’t translate to writing a script. I’ve tried writing even little sketches and even those are difficult for me and I get really annoyed I can’t translate what I want to say to paper.

But I’m lucky that I’ve got several friends who are writer types and want to collaborate with me. And over the past week I’ve been able to find time to meet with a couple of them and now I finally feel like I’m moving forward again

I hate that I have to be really discrete on these projects, but they are all in the super early stages so I don’t want to say too much. I’m not trying to be cool by not sharing things.

With one of my friends, she and I are working together on a non-acting idea. We’ve got an idea for an event we want to do that is somewhat entertainment industry related, but it’s not an acting thing. We came up with this idea super randomly and it snowballed from there. We are coming up with plans and logistics and I really think that this could be something really cool and easy to accomplish this year if we get the right people working with us. Even though it’s not acting specific, because it’s something that seems fun to me it still activates the same creativity side of my brain. She and I are also talking about how we should work on an acting project together, but that’s not the first priority right now.

I also met with a writer friend of mine recently. She and I have discussed doing a project with a bunch of friends in the past and I think that we can finally start working on that idea more. We don’t have an idea for a script or characters, but I think this would be the type of project that we need to be inspired to do and not just write it because we want to write something. Hopefully something soon will inspire us and we will have something fun to work on together this year.

And finally I’ve got a friend who is a writer and just wrote us a short film. He and I had talked on the phone and I guess he got inspired to write a 2 person short film and had me in mind for the other character (he wrote it for me so there are aspects of it that fit me perfectly). He sent me the script as soon as he wrote and I read it, loved it, and emailed him back with a couple of notes. He sent me another version and we decided to meet up to work on it together.

We met on Tuesday after work and discussed ideas and plans for the short film (I’m always a “think big” person so I’ve got big ideas for it). There are a couple of things in the script that could be changed to make a bit more sense (they are all minor things) and we came up with some really funny ideas for the beginning and end of the film to make it a more well-rounded script that would be a great showcase piece for both of us as actors and for him as a writer. If he and I could find a crew to help us shoot this short, I think we could have it done and edited by the summer to share with everyone.

It’s so nice that I’ve been able to have so many friends who are self-motivated like I am but are in the parts of the industry that I’m not so great at. If I had to write my own projects, it would never happen. I would be endlessly frustrated and never finish anything. Or I would just make little improv-based movies which can be fun, but they aren’t always that great without a decent outline to keep the plot on track. Having friends who are strong where I am weak and want to collaborate really is awesome.

I’m hoping that by the end of 2016, whether or not I have another audition, that I’ll have at least 2 projects that I’ve been in this year. It’s totally possible, but I need to just focus on who I know who can work with me and not the fact that I can’t write. If I focus on the positives and work on creating work with others, there’s no reason why I can’t have new credits to my name this year.

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Tax Time (or Happy To Owe The Government Some Money)

Posted on March 8, 2016 | 1 comment

I just had my taxes done last week and it was a totally different experience than I’ve ever had. So I wanted to share it with all of you in case you are still looking for a tax preparer.

In the past, I’ve always had my parents’ accountant do my taxes. When I lived at home (when I was working in high school), my parents just brought him what I made and to be honest I have no idea if I ever owed anything. Those jobs were pretty part-time and if I did owe something, maybe my parents helped me out. Once I moved to LA, I got a tax preparation packet from the accountant in the beginning of each year. I’d fill it out, make a list of my deductions, and stick all of that plus my W2 and 1099 forms in an envelope and mailed it to my parents. They brought it in for me and everything was done. I’d get a letter in the mail a few weeks later either saying how much I owed or how much I’d get back.

It was fine, but I realized last year that I needed to be a much more active participant in my taxes. 2015 was the first year that all of my income was 1099. And while I did pay estimated taxes (although I’d learn not enough so I still had a penalty), I knew I’d owe more money. I was prepared to owe money and had been saving about 1/3 of every paycheck I got. But I was still worried that it wasn’t enough.

So many of my actor friends recommended going to Chuck Sloan and Associates for taxes, so I made an appointment there. They are cheapest if you go in January or February (although they are always pretty affordable), so I made my appointment for the last day of February. Even before my appointment, I became a fan of the office. I had to change my appointment time a couple of times due to conflicts that came up, and they never seemed annoyed or bothered by that. They just gave me a new time and seemed happy that I’d be coming in.

Since I work from home, I wasn’t sure what the rush hour situation would be like on the freeway (the office is in the valley). I gave myself a little over an hour to get there, but made it in 20 minutes! So I sat in my car and listened to podcasts while I waiting for my appointment time.

Chuck Sloan

I was assigned Daphne as my tax preparer. And even though I know I was assigned to her randomly, I felt like it was fate that she was helping me. She totally got how nervous I was about everything and we chatted a bit about our mutual love of podcasts before getting down to business.

I had explained to Daphne that while I had saved money and paid estimated taxes that I was so worried that I would still owe more than I could afford. So instead of doing everything at once, she entered all of my income, unemployment information, and health insurance information to show me the absolute worst case scenario I could be in.

And even that was less than what I had saved!

I was so happy that I wouldn’t have to figure out where to get extra money to pay my taxes that I burst into tears. I was crying out of relief from the stress I had felt from the past year and from the joy knowing that the first time I tried to be more involved in my taxes that I did do something right.

Daphne was happy to explain all the deductions that she entered for me. I was terrified to put down a home office because I’ve heard that is often a red flag for the IRS. I do work my jobs from home, so it is totally reasonable for me to put down a home office on my taxes. It still makes me a bit nervous that I did that, but Daphne reassured me that when you work as a virtual employee (like I do), it’s expected to have a home office on your taxes.

After everything was entered, explained, and double checked; Daphne showed me my total tax bill. And it ended up being less than half of what I had set aside to pay my taxes! While I wish that I was getting a refund or owing even less than that, anything less than what I had saved is awesome! I don’t have to worry about borrowing money or figuring out a payment plan with the IRS. I just sent in my checks and it’s done.

I really cannot thank Daphne and the rest of the employees at Chuck Sloan and Associates enough. They worked together as a team to make sure that I was getting all the deductions that I deserved and that everything was perfect before it was sent it. They dealt with my craziness, my stress, and my tears without looking at me weird. And they made me excited to get my taxes done! I doubt most people could say that.

When Daphne was working with me on my taxes we went over a couple of ideas of how I could organize things better for 2016, and I’m working on implementing those now. It mainly has to do with organizing things by type and not by month since the IRS doesn’t care about when things were purchased or paid for, just what category all of that money goes into.

I know that I’ll be going back to Daphne next year for my taxes since she was the first financial type person I’ve worked with who didn’t look down on me for how little money I had, got the weird things I spend my money on for work, and totally got my organizational system. And having someone like that on my team is invaluable for me.

Taxes By Daphne

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The First Mentee Meeting Of The Year (or Catching Up On Life)

Posted on February 25, 2016 | Comments Off on The First Mentee Meeting Of The Year (or Catching Up On Life)

Even though we think that our official time as a mentoring circle is done, my fellow mentees and I have made plans to keep our meetings continue. We are hoping to stay on an every other month schedule, and we just had our first meeting this week.

I was a bit stressed out about this meeting because I was out-of-town until the day before. While my house wasn’t crazy dirty or anything, I really wanted to be able to clean before everyone arrived. And I had to figure out a time to get to the grocery store to get food for the group, but I had limited time. Fortunately, I had planned ahead and went to the grocery store late on Monday night after flying back home. And my job wasn’t too crazy on Tuesday, so I had some time to do quick bursts of cleaning between customers.

It ended up being another small meeting because some of the others ended up getting last minute conflicts (I’m working on planning future meetings better to hopefully prevent this so more of us can make it). But it is nice having a small group. The small gatherings always seem more like a hangout and less official, but that can be nice from time to time and I think that has allowed me to become really great friends with my fellow mentees.

Of those of us at the meeting, most of us said that we didn’t really have much of an update to share. I was one of those people. In the past 2 months, I really haven’t done a ton for my acting career. I did complete my UCB class and got new headshots, but beyond that I haven’t really done much. I’m still self-submitting for acting parts and I’ve got a couple of things that may be in the works soon, but that’s not really an update. I did end up sharing some of the things that are hopefully going to be in the works and got some great advice on them. But the main part of the advice was I couldn’t do anything until things are progressing.

But even with non-updates, I love hearing what everyone else is doing. I think all of us think at a time that everyone else is further along in their career than them, but it’s nice to see that that’s not the truth. Everyone has leaps at their own pace so there’s no real way to tell who is further in their career than others unless there’s something very concrete to compare to. It’s great to hear what people in other creative jobs other than actors are doing to get ahead in their careers and to learn more about that particular job path. The better educated I am in all aspects of the entertainment industry, the better in my mind.

With the non-updates, we spend most of the time just chatting about random fun stuff. We talked about travel, workouts, dogs, classes, and living in LA. It was a great evening to center myself after a crazy weekend and to help get my mind and career back on track. It was a reminder that even if you haven’t done anything for your career in months, you still have wonderful things to update people about and you shouldn’t discount what you have to say or share. And it was a great night getting to know my friends better and to realize that even though the mentoring circle ended officially, it’s just beginning for real.

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Grease Live (or A Fun Night In With Friends)

Posted on February 4, 2016 | Comments Off on Grease Live (or A Fun Night In With Friends)

Since almost all of us use a DVR or watch tv online now, it’s so rare for me to watch something live. Unless it’s an awards show, I’m usually watching a recording of it. I know that most people also watch sports live, but I rarely watch sports (I do watch the Super Bowl for the commercials).

But when NBC started to do live musicals (even though they are taped delayed for the west coast), I got really excited to watch them. While I didn’t love The Sound Of Music or Peter Pan, it was still really excited to live-tweet along with others about what was happening and feel like I was a part of something special. And when The Wiz ended up being so great, I got really enthusiastic about live musicals on TV.

FOX did Grease Live this past weekend and for the first time I decided to have a viewing party at my house. I figured it could be really fun whether the musical was amazing or was a bit of a disappointment. So I invited a bunch of my friends and said that I would provide the drinks if they wanted to bring snacks.

My friends Rayshell, June, and Amanda (who I know from Orangetheory) came over to watch on Sunday. And even though none of my friends had met each before, it ended up being the perfect group (and all of them ended up bringing dessert treats to share!).

As soon as Grease Live started, I made a joke about how the green screen wasn’t that realistic looking. But as soon as the camera pulled away and I saw that they were acknowledging that this was a live event happening all over the Warner Bros. backlot, I knew that this was going to be something special. For all the other live musicals, they never really seemed to treat it any differently than having a play being taped. But Grease Live really did seem to want to show off all the hard work that they did.

After that initial joke about the green screen, there wasn’t much joking among the group. We did joke about funny moments and character choices, but it was all in a very positive way and more enjoyment than snark. I didn’t even end up live-tweeting because I was so enthralled by the show.

I loved seeing them all over the backlot (I know it well from working there as an actor and back in 2005 as a tour guide and being there for the SAG-AFTRA Gala) and shared fun facts about the backlot with my friends. And I loved seeing them use the tour guide golf carts to get from one stage to another (they even drove my favorite cart, #9)! I did have a moment where my heart felt like it would stop when the golf cart started to tip in the end of the show (I know how unstable those golf carts are), but fortunately the cart didn’t tip over.

It didn’t feel like a live production because of all the hard work the cast and crew had done over the past few weeks. They had everything perfectly choreographed and timed out so that the audience only saw what they wanted us to see and nothing was delayed. I mean, look at how perfectly the associate director did the camera moves for just part of a song! I know that every cast and crew of a live production work hard, but this one just took things to another level. And since the sets were full rooms (not just the set facing a wall of cameras) it felt so different from all the other live musicals (although I did say that in a way that made it feel less like a live production at times)

My friends all agreed with me that this was the best live musical that we’ve seen on TV. There was very little that we would have changed about the show and we all had a great time watching it. And I think that getting together to watch the live musicals will be a new tradition (another adventure with friends to add to my goals list!) and we are already planning on trying to be together for the one happening in March.

I really went into watching Grease Live thinking I wouldn’t love it, but I’m so happy that I was wrong and it ended up being such a fun thing to watch and experience with everyone.

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SAG Awards (or Watching After Knowing The Winners)

Posted on February 3, 2016 | 2 comments

I really love the SAG Awards. All awards shows are amazing and I love watching them, but this one is so special. Part of it is that it is the only awards show that I get to vote for (at least, the only one I can vote for so far). And part of it is because these are my peers being nominated and one day I could be too. I take my voting seriously and work as hard as I can to see everything nominated (I don’t always succeed, but I make a big effort to see them all).

I usually watch the show live on TV and try to live-tweet my excitement over the winners. It’s fun to live tweet those sort of events and see what everyone else has to say about things. Even if I can’t watch with my friends, I still get to be connected with them while watching.

But when the show happened this past Saturday, I was babysitting. So I didn’t get to watch live this time. I don’t mind babysitting, but I was a bit sad that I wouldn’t get to watch the show when it happened. But I needed to babysit and I had my DVR set to record the show (plus an extra hour in case they ran late). So it wasn’t that horrible that I didn’t get to watch live.

Fortunately for me, twitter and various news sites online kept me posted on who the winners were throughout the evening. I was finally able to see who all the winners were when the kids were asleep at the babysitting job and was pretty happy with who won (a majority of the people/shows I voted for won) and I was anxious to hear all the speeches.

I got home from babysitting super late, so I didn’t get a chance to watch the awards until Sunday morning. Since I knew who all the winners were, I was able to fast forward a bit on my DVR. I watched all the introductions and speeches, but I skipped when they announced the nominees and the moment the announced the winner. But even with skipping those parts, there was so much good stuff to watch.

I loved all the speeches. Everyone seemed so grateful and gracious when they won. I knew that some of the winners were people who had almost given up on acting or had been trying to make it for years and seeing them win gave me hope that I will be there one day. And of course there were some random funny moments and I loved those as well.

Plus, I loved getting to see my friend Woody’s name in the credits at the end.

SAG Awards

All in all, it was a really great show. It did feel a bit weird not watching it live and not being interactive with people while watching. It was almost like it was my own awards show viewing and not something that everyone else watched. But even without being online and tweeting with people while it was happening, it still made me have so much pride to be a union member.

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Helping Out A Friend (or Getting To Act)

Posted on January 15, 2016 | 1 comment

I didn’t get to do as much acting as I would have liked in 2015. I had some really great auditions and got to take class, but there weren’t any bookings. And as much as I love the brief moments that I get to act in the audition room or in my classes, I missed working on a fun project. There’s something special about working on a project that you don’t get in auditions or in class. It’s like how being on a studio lot feels magical somehow. I don’t know how to explain it, but it just is that way for me.

I had been really excited about an audition that I got the first week of January, but right after I got the audition notice I got an email from my agents that the audition was now for a non-union project. And as a union actor I agree to not work any non-union things. I was so excited for a second and then felt really sad that the audition wasn’t something I could go to. I don’t blame my agents at all because they don’t always find out something is non-union until the audition is scheduled. I’ve even had to leave auditions in the past because they lied about the union status. But that’s just the way it is sometimes.

So I was feeling like my year wasn’t getting off to a great start for my acting career. But then a friend of mine asked me if I’d like to play a small part in a new media project that he was doing. And of course I said yes! He sent me the script right away and I got prepared to work with him.

We shot the project this past Monday (I’m so glad that it was on my day off from my day job!) and it was really fun. My part wasn’t too big so it was a pretty easy shoot for me. I got to where we were all meeting at 8am and it was my turn to film at about 8:30, so I didn’t have to wait that long (sometimes you are on set for hours before it’s time for your scene).

My scene took place in my car and my character had been pulled over by a cop. It was really funny and I had a great time performing. We did each setup maybe 2 or 3 times and there were a couple of different shots that they needed to get. But after it was all said and done, I maybe only worked for an hour. Easy peasy.

It was so wonderful to be in front of a camera again. I love getting direction from the director and knowing that my work is being captured and others will be able to see it (in auditions, the directors might get to see it but it’s not seen by that many people). I got some really great feedback from everyone working on the project and that was a nice little confidence boost for me.

This wasn’t a paying project, but that doesn’t matter to me. It was a union project (my friend made sure of that so I could be a part of it), I got to act, and eventually once it’s edited it will be out in the world for people to see. That’s all I really need (getting paid occasionally would be great too). And that hour of acting made me crave acting even more.

That’s how I know that this is the right career path for me. I love getting to audition, I love ever second I get to act, and I love anything I get to do that feels like I’m furthering my career. Nothing feels like a chore or a task. It always feels like a reward and a benefit.

Hopefully this project will be the start of an amazing year for my acting career. I haven’t had my first audition of the year yet, but the regular start of pilot season is coming up quickly and hopefully I’ll have at least one pilot audition. And of course now that tv is back there are all those co-star and guest star parts I could potentially audition for. While there aren’t as many opportunities for someone of my type as there might be for a super skinny hot blonde girl, I know those opportunities are out there and it’s my job to be prepared for when they come my way.

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Default ThumbnailMaking My Acting Bold (or Feeling Great From An Audition) Default ThumbnailFiguring Out The Next Step (or I Need To Keep Acting) Default ThumbnailBeing Proactive (or Bringing Acting To Me) Default ThumbnailDoubling Up On Friend Time (or It Feels Like We Just Saw Each Other) Default ThumbnailWorking On A New Plan (or Self-Producing) Default ThumbnailAnother Day Another Audition (or This Is The Life I Love)

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A Night Out With Some Awesome Women (or Being Ok Being Awkward)

Posted on January 13, 2016 | Comments Off on A Night Out With Some Awesome Women (or Being Ok Being Awkward)

The other night, a friend of mine invited me to join her at a meeting of women writers. I asked her if it was ok for me to go even though I wasn’t a writer, and she said that the group was ok with it. This group had met before, but not all members had met before so it wouldn’t be like I walked into an established meeting.

My friend and I were the first ones at the bar we were meeting everyone at (after getting a perfect almost free parking space right in front!) and soon after we arrived more people showed up. We got a table for the group and started ordering food and drinks.

In the beginning, I was just listening to what everyone else was saying. They were updating each other on their lives and jobs and I didn’t want to interrupt. It was really cool to hear what all these awesome writers have been doing and not just listening to what other actors are doing (those conversations can be very repetitive and weird for me at times).

But soon after that, more women showed up for the group and our table got pretty full. There were maybe 8 or 9 of us and the bar was a bit loud. I really wanted to hear what everyone was saying and participate in the conversation, but it just got very difficult to hear. I listened to what the people immediately next to me were saying, but I was still not really a part of the group.

My friend (who was sitting next to me) noticed that I was being really quiet and not adding to the conversation and she interpreted it as me being bored. I explained that it wasn’t that I was bored but it was awkward in the group because I really didn’t know everyone and it was tough to be a part of the conversation. I wanted to be a part of things, but I had to be ok with the circumstances and be ok with being an outsider for the night.

It wasn’t the group’s fault at all. The table we had was pretty big, there were a decent number of people, and it was pretty loud. Even our waitress had trouble hearing us from time to time. So it wasn’t the best place to be when I tried to get to know a bunch of new people.

My friend and I left a bit on the earlier side because we had another place we wanted to stop by before it got too late, so we started to say our goodbyes to everyone. And I talked to everyone more while saying goodbye than I had all night. I was talking to people individually while we were standing next to each other. So the noise and number of people didn’t affect the conversation. And everyone in the group was so awesome and I wished that it had been easier to be a part of the group the entire evening. But it just wasn’t meant to be that night.

I’m sure that I will get to see everyone again in the future. Hopefully I’ll be invited to another group meeting and maybe it will be somewhere that is a bit quieter so I can feel like I’m part of everything. But even though I pretty much sat quietly in my chair during the meeting, it felt awesome getting out and getting to meet new people. I’ve been in my own bubble with my set group of friends for a while and I know I need to expand my friend circles. Meeting people who are awesome is always a good thing in my mind. And I learned from those brief conversations that everyone in that group was pretty awesome.

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Default ThumbnailWomen In Film (or Brunch and Ghostbusters) Default ThumbnailMentoring Circle (or Women Who Support Each Other) Default ThumbnailEnd Of The Mentoring Circle (or One Final Lunch) Default ThumbnailMs In The Biz Picnic (or Spending My Day Off With Some Awesome Women) Default ThumbnailFOX Girls’ Night Out (or Getting To Meet Women I Admire) Default ThumbnailA Belated Mother’s Day Post (or The Awesome Women In My Family)

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My 2016 Goals (or I’ve Got Some Big Ideas This Year)

Posted on January 1, 2016 | 2 comments

Happy New Year! I hope that you all got to spend New Years Eve last night with people you love and had a great time (and hopefully not feeling it too much today)! As I’ve done the past few years, I’m sharing what my goals are for this year and what I hope to accomplish.

First is my big workout goal. I want to do 180 workouts in 2016. It’s only 5 more workouts this year than I did last year, but I wanted to make the goal not too much of a stretch. I’d love to pass this goal and do closer to 190, but I also know that life can get in the way and I don’t want to stress out about reaching my goal like I did in 2015. I think it’s very doable and I’ll be tracking my workouts using the same app I did last year (it made this very easy for me). So hopefully in a year I’ll be telling you all how I got this done!

My next goal is to have a new PR for my 5K. This one is going to be difficult for me because I’m still dealing with calf pain, but I think that maybe I can do it. Right now, I have 2 5Ks that I’m planning on doing (the same ones as last year) but I might add another one in there. So there aren’t a ton of opportunities to get a PR, but I will have a ton of time on the treadmill at Orangetheory to work on my speed training. I still have an ultimate PR goal for my 5K (15 minute miles) so I can feel comfortable doing a Disney race, but I know that this goal is very possibly a few years away.

Next on the list is a money goal. Or more like money goals (but I’m combining it into one goal). I want to get my debt down farther, budget better, and even maybe start having more savings than just what I’m saving for my taxes (as a 1099 employee, I will probably owe a lot in taxes). This is not an easy goal. Money is tight and while I wouldn’t say that I have a spending problem, it’s hard to not spend like some of my friends do at times. And those friends sometimes make 4 or 5 times what I make. I’ve been using You Need A Budget for a budgeting app and I think I’ve gotten budgeting close to what I want it to be. However, YNAB just launched a new version and it’s a subscription payment model. I can still use the old version and not have to spend money on the app, but I’m also looking into new apps to use because I don’t want to spend $50/year on a budgeting app when that money could go to something better. I do have an amount in mind as far as reducing my debt goes, but that’s something that I’m going to keep to myself for now.

Next is a fun one. I want to travel more and find more ways to spend time with my friends. While I’m ok with saying no to going to parties and things, I like going on adventures and fun outings. So I want to work on figuring out adventures to go on with my friends so that we can have more fun. And for traveling, I’ve got one trip planned for February with my mom and I’m hoping to do a trip with my sister-in-law in March or April. So that’s a step in the right direction.

I’d also like to do another acting class this year. I think it will probably be the next level at UCB, but I’m open to acting classes that fit into my schedule and my budget. While it’s important for me to keep working on my acting skills, I want to be in another class for other reasons. It’s great meeting new actors, it makes me happy because I get an opportunity to act, and I feel like I’m making progress in my career even if I’m not auditioning. So I feel like this is important for me to do and I feel pretty confident that I’ll be able to get this done.

And finally, I want to be either in recovery from my eating disorder or on my way to recovery. I’m starting to look at my eating disorder as something to research and educate myself on instead of an emotional thing. I’ve been doing reading, listening to podcasts, and using apps for my eating disorder over the past week and I’ve already felt a difference. It’s still a battle that I lose sometimes, but I’m feeling much better about how I’m approaching things this time. And hopefully in a year I will be posting that I’m either in recovery or I’m getting very close to recovery. That would be such a wonderful thing I could accomplish in this year and if it happens I know that it will change my life.

So that’s it for my goals for this year! I think that I’ve got some good plans in mind. And while they won’t be easy to get done, they are not completely out of my reach. I’d love to hear some of the goals that you have for the coming year and hopefully we can keep each other on track!

Happy 2016!

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Default ThumbnailRecapping My 2016 (or Almost Doing All That I Wanted To) Default ThumbnailMy 2017 Goals (or I Know This Year Will Be Amazing!) Default ThumbnailWhat I Plan To Do This Year (or 2015 Goals) Default Thumbnail2014 Goals (or Hoping To Get More Goals Done This Year) Default ThumbnailReflecting Back On 2014 (or How I Did With My Goals) Default ThumbnailAn Almost End Of The Year Review (or Looking Back At My Goals)

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Posted in Acting, Celebrations, Fitness, Fun Stuff, Health, Saving, Tough Stuff, Travel

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