Category Archives: Weight Loss

Starting The Year Off Right (or Spinning Away)

Posted on January 3, 2014 | Comments Off on Starting The Year Off Right (or Spinning Away)

I was very lucky to have New Year’s Day off from work. Again, nobody wants to be making phone calls on a holiday. So I tried to make the most of my day.

I did sleep in pretty late. I had gotten home just around 1am but I stayed up a bit later trying to get some work done while I felt awake.

I knew that I wanted to go to spin class on New Year’s Day, I just wasn’t sure exactly when I wanted to go. There were some special classes that day that were 90 minutes long (double the length of a normal class), but I didn’t think my body would be up for that.

Fortunately, Patrick was teaching one of the regular length classes in the early afternoon. That gave me time to get some food in my stomach and relax before sweating out all the fun I had the night before.

The class was great and exactly what I needed. I got in a great workout and according to my heart rate monitor, I burned more calories in this spin class than I had in any previous class! Part of that may be due to the fact that during the weights portion of class, I got heavier weights than I’ve ever used. But I’d also like to think that is has something to do with me getting fitter, stronger, and able to push myself harder.

I left the class super sweaty, but I look at the sweat marks on my clothes as something to be proud of. I don’t even mind walking back to my car in my sweaty clothes without covering up. If people think I look weird all sweaty, who cares? I did an amazing workout.

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I got home and ended up taking a nap after class. I was still pretty tired from the day before and the class wiped me out. The rest of the day was spent hanging out at home and reading a book, which helped to make the day a perfect day off from my day job.

But I did do some of my goals for 2014. I got in my spin class and I tracked every single calorie that I consumed that day. I was under my calorie goal and made lots of good choices for the day. It’s tougher for me to plan my meals when I don’t do spin class first thing in the morning, but I’m proud of the job that I did with my food choices that day.

I’m definitely off to a good start this year.

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Default ThumbnailA Spin And A Spa (or More Spinning!) Default ThumbnailSpinning Machine (or Continuing My New Healthy Addiction) Default ThumbnailMy SoulCycle Anniversary (or 1 Year Of Spinning) Default ThumbnailSweating Away 2014 And Into 2015 (or Starting The Year Off The Right Way) Default ThumbnailStarting The Year With A Lot Of Transformation (or Who Will I Be By Next Year?) Default ThumbnailNew Year’s Workouts (or Ending 2016 and Starting 2017 With Orangetheory)

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Posted in Fitness, Food, Fun Stuff, Weight Loss

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Looking Back At 2013 (or Where Did The Year Go?)

Posted on December 31, 2013 | Comments Off on Looking Back At 2013 (or Where Did The Year Go?)

I can’t believe it’s the last day of 2013! As the title says, where did the year go? I know that when I was little my mom joked how time moved faster the older you got, but this is ridiculous!

2013 was a year of highs and lows. I wanted to look back today at the year starting with my goals that I posted a year ago.

My goals that I had for 2013 were to continue on my weight loss journey, continue paying down my debt, do 5 5Ks, do my first 10K, find alternative income, take an improv class, and keep blogging.

I did continue on my weight loss journey. I’m not as far as I would like to be, but I’m going in the right direction. While I did pay down my debt, I also spent on that credit card which didn’t allow me to pay off as much as I could have (I need to work on that). I did 9 5Ks this year. But I didn’t do a 10K. And I don’t know if I ever will do one. But coming to that realization was a big step for me. I looked for alternative income and haven’t found it yet. But I’m getting closer to finding what else I can do that fits into my schedule. And sadly I didn’t get around to taking that improv class. But I was looking at the schedule for 2014 and I’m trying to decide which day the class would be best for me. And as you all know, I’ve been blogging 5 days a week every week (and plan to continue that).

While I didn’t accomplish all the goals I had, the lessons I learned about those goals and what I really want was much more important to me.

This past year had some amazing highs and some very low lows.

The big lows for me include my mom finding out that she has breast cancer. But she is over 1/2 done with this second chemo and is doing amazing. We have high hopes that she will be declared cancer free at the end of treatment and this will just be a memory for us. Also, the losses of Dante and Chaucer were very tough for me. I don’t know anyone who could go through losing 2 dogs in 6 days without having a breakdown. While I still am very sad about these losses, I’m able to share what happened without crying now.

One of the highs for my family was my brother’s wedding in September. It was a great event and the first family vacation my immediate family has gone on in a long time. And for me, a huge high was discovering SoulCycle and how much I love the class! I never thought I could love a workout like this and since it is low-impact, it is good for my hips.

It’s tough sometimes to focus on the positives that 2013 had since it is ending with a lot of sadness. But I know that 2014 will be a better year and I look forward to all the great things that are in store for me!

Tomorrow, I’ll share my goals for 2014!

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Default ThumbnailMy 2013 Goals (or I’m Not Calling Them Resolutions This Time) Default Thumbnail2014 Goals (or Hoping To Get More Goals Done This Year) Default ThumbnailReflecting Back On 2014 (or How I Did With My Goals) Default ThumbnailWhat I Plan To Do This Year (or 2015 Goals) Default Thumbnail5K Update (or Why It’s Not A Goal For This Year) Default ThumbnailStarting The Year Off Right (or Spinning Away)

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Posted in Family, Fitness, Fun Stuff, Health, Saving, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

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Recovering From Thanksgiving (or As Always It’s Back To The Grind)

Posted on December 4, 2013 | Comments Off on Recovering From Thanksgiving (or As Always It’s Back To The Grind)

I was back to work as usual on Monday after Thanksgiving. It was very nice to have 5 days off from work (it was almost like being unemployed again!), but it’s nice to be back and making money too.

Since there are still holidays coming up, the next few weeks at work will be a bit weird. We have time off for the holidays, odd shifts because of the shows going on, and a work holiday party. So even though I’m back at work, I think I only have one week this month that is a normal work week.

I’m also getting back to my usual food and exercise plan. I gained more weight than I expected over Thanksgiving. I knew I would gain some because of the extra food, but I was still a bit shocked when I got on the scale on Monday. I think some of it was random water and stress weight because when I weighed myself yesterday I was already down 3 pounds.

My focus for the last few weeks of this year are to continue my routines that I’ve worked out. I’m finding spin classes that fit into my schedule a bit better (including a free class at SoulCycle on Fridays right after my shift ends so I can go straight from work). I’m trying to stay good at bringing my lunches to work (good for helping me lose weight and save money). And I’m working on just being happier with myself in general.

I know that I didn’t lose as much weight this year as I thought I would, but I’m on track to be down about 40 pounds this year. To some people that may seem like a lot, and to some people that may seem like nothing. It’s only a portion of what I need to lose, but even if I only lose that each year, I’m still heading in the right direction. And I need to keep that in mind. As much as I’d like to have lost all my weight this year like I did the two times I did the RFO diet, it’s not realistic for me anymore.

But as I spent some time before writing this looking back at my older posts, I’ve realized how far I have come this year. And as I start thinking about my goals for next year, I’m getting excited about what my life might be like a year from today.

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Default ThumbnailStarting The Year With A Lot Of Transformation (or Who Will I Be By Next Year?) Default ThumbnailWeight Loss Update (or Why I’m Trying Not To Get Frustrated) Default ThumbnailGetting Weighed In (or A New Orangetheory Challenge) Default ThumbnailPre-Burning Thanksgiving Calories (or Working Out In LA and San Diego) Default ThumbnailWorking Out While Sore (or Still Recovering From My Weekend) Default ThumbnailThanksgiving Prep (or So Little Time)

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Posted in Fitness, Food, Fun Stuff, Health, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

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Busting Out Of A Funk (or Controlling My Happiness)

Posted on September 27, 2013 | Comments Off on Busting Out Of A Funk (or Controlling My Happiness)

For some reason on Wednesday evening, I was in a very bad mood. It didn’t have anything to do with the game show, but I’m wondering if that triggered something in me. It was such high energy at the taping and then I came home to an empty house. And I was very hungry because my last meal was before leaving in the morning for the taping (there were snacks for sale there, but it was all junk food).

I ended up eating a dinner that I know that I should not have had. It was not within my calorie goal for the day and it was extremely high in sodium. I regretted it immediately, but what was done was done.

On Thursday morning, I weighed myself to own up to my mistake. My scale was up 8 pounds. Now I know that there is no way I gained 8 pounds with that meal (that would mean my meal was 28,000 calories). But even though I knew that with my head, my heart said something different.

So I spent Thursday morning in a bit of a funk as well. I stayed in bed late reading but I couldn’t get myself into a better mood.

Finally, I decided that I couldn’t wallow all day long. I thought about ways to make myself feel better, but nothing was making the memory of my scale go away.

I was playing with some of the new features on my phone when I thought of something. I had not taken measurements of myself since March. First of all, as an actor it is extremely important to always have updated measurements of yourself. You never know when you will be at Disneyland enjoying the rides when you get a text message from your agents asking for your exact hip measurements (true story). So I have my measurements on my phone in a note app.

But those measurements were done so long ago that I thought maybe they would have changed. So I got my tape measure out and did my measurements again.

And they all have changed! Since March I’ve lost half an inch off of my arms and legs, 1 inch off of my bustline, 1.5 inches off of the largest part of my stomach, and 2.5 inches off of my waist and hips! I know I’ve got a way to go, but it’s something! And while I feel like my scale might lie to me all the time, measurements are pretty accurate!

I will not be giving up on weighing myself. It’s something that I need to do to feel like I’m in control. But I will be trying to do measurements more often. Perhaps once a month. I need to do it for my acting career to give to potential jobs, but more importantly I need to do it to keep things in perspective. While I’m not getting smaller as quickly as I have in the past (or would like to), I am getting smaller!

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Posted in Food, Fun Stuff, Health, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

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More Computer Frustration (or Trying To Let It Go)

Posted on August 28, 2013 | 1 comment

After yesterday’s craziness on my computer, I went to bed and hoped I could figure it out tomorrow. That did not work.

I finally got the trash emptied on my computer, but then my external hard drive disappeared. So after spending a couple of hours fixing that, I thought everything was good. Until I saw that everything I deleted in the trash was back in the trash again! So I tried to empty the trash again, but weird things kept happening. Like as the trash emptied, the count went into negative numbers. How can you have a negative number of the items that need to be deleted?

I googled and YouTubed solutions but really haven’t seemed to be able to find one.

Then I took a step back. Maybe I can’t fix this right now. I did successfully delete some files that allowed me to have more room on my computer to update the programs I needed to update. And there are a few more programs like Garage Band that I don’t use that I could get rid of.

I’m making this problem more than it really is. I have a tendency to do that.

Then I tried to relate what’s going on to my weight loss (as I tend to do as well). I’ve done more research on weight loss than most people. I’ve read hundreds of diet books. I know the science behind weight loss and the numbers to track. I’ve had medical testing done to see if there is anything wrong with me so I know what symptoms to look for that could mean that my weight issues are something else.

But with all the research in the world, it hasn’t helped me. Because I need to find my solution to the problem. Just because I have a weight problem doesn’t mean it’s anything like anyone else’s weight problem. Just like the crazy problems with my computer aren’t necessarily the same as the problems I’m researching (maybe it is since the computer isn’t as individualized as a person, but just go with me on this).

What I’m saying with all this craziness is that I need to step back from the big problem and start focusing on the little things. Because fixing each of those little things can add up to one big thing.

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Default ThumbnailReality TV (or How Losing 200 Pounds Can Be Something That Is Booed) Default ThumbnailTrying To Cut Back On Clutter (or Why Won’t My Computer Do What I Want It To Do?!?) Default ThumbnailHoping To Fix My Computer (or Can The New MacBook Pros Please Come Out Soon?) Default ThumbnailA New Computer (or Out With The Old And In With The New) Default ThumbnailRestoring My Computer (or Glad For A Backup) Default ThumbnailThe Frustration Of Looking For A Day Job (or Why Is This So Difficult?)

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Posted in Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

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Reality TV (or How Losing 200 Pounds Can Be Something That Is Booed)

Posted on August 8, 2013 | 1 comment

I’ll admit that reality tv is one of my guilty pleasures. I love “America’s Next Top Model”, “The Amazing Race”, and “Food Network Star”. But I also watch a couple of weight loss related reality tv like “The Biggest Loser” and “Extreme Weight Loss”.

One reason that I enjoy the weight loss reality shows is because most of the time, the people at the beginning are in a worse place than me. I know this is a horrible thought, but it’s nice to see that I’m not the most out of shape person in the world. And it gives me a bit of hope that maybe I can win this battle eventually.

But there are a lot of negative things about these shows. First of all, they are extremely unrealistic. The contestants on them typically aren’t working their jobs (and they get a small stipend from the show for participating). Also, they are working out sometimes 5 or 6 hours a day. If you have a job, you probably don’t have the time to do that. Sometimes contestants on these shows also have either a chef or food delivery service so they don’t have to worry about their food.

Another negative thing about these shows is how the contestants feel about weight loss. On “The Biggest Loser”, when a contestant loses 7 or 8 pounds in a week, they feel like they are a failure. Sometimes the other contestants mention how that person isn’t doing enough. Seriously?!?!?! If I lost 7 pounds in a week I’d be so excited!

But something that really ticked me off happened on this week’s “Extreme Weight Loss”. If you don’t watch the show, it takes place over 1 year and each episode follows one person’s journey. This week is was a girl name Alyssa. She weighed over 400 pounds when everything started. The show gives weight loss goals for every 3 months. She met her first weight loss goal and then started to struggle with the second. And in her struggle, she started to have anorexic and bulimic tendencies. The host of the show did offer her help and had her do a blind weigh in (this is something I have to do at the doctors because I don’t trust their scale).

At the final weigh in for Alyssa, they did it in front of all her friends and family (this is the format for the show). She weighed in and had lost over 200 pounds in one year! But she was a few pounds short of her overall weight loss goal, so when the final number came up, the crowd booed. My mouth dropped open when I watched that. Since when is losing 200 pounds something to boo about? They should be cheering her on no matter what.

But I guess that wouldn’t make good reality tv.

Will I still watch these weight loss reality shows? Yes. They do have good tips in them and they do help motivate me. But I really hope that other people watching can see how what they see on tv isn’t always the most helpful thing when trying to lose weight.

While it may be reality tv, it isn’t reality.

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Posted in Fitness, Food, Health, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

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Staying Under (or Does It Really Matter What I Eat?)

Posted on July 31, 2013 | 1 comment

I’ve been having some battles with food lately. Nothing as bad as it’s been in the past, but it’s not as good as it’s been lately either.

I’m making crap choices with my food. I’m still logging them in to My Fitness Pal so I’m able to keep track of my calories, and that’s helping me a lot. When I’ve made bad choices, I’m still trying to stay under my calorie goal for the day. I’m not sure if this is a good plan or not, but it’s what’s happening and I figure I might as well share it.

I remember when I was in group therapy at the UCLA RFO program and we would discuss calorie goals. I remember the group leader saying that it doesn’t matter if you eat 1,200 calories of fruits and vegetables or 1,200 calories of Dove bars. It’s still 1,200 calories and if you are below your calorie goal for the day, you will lose weight.

And I’m totally aware that eating 1,200 (or whatever your calorie goal number is) calories of good food is better for you. You will be able to eat more, feel fuller, and have a more nutritious day.

But sometimes, all that practical reasoning doesn’t matter.

So on Monday, for example, I ate a relatively healthy breakfast (at 11am since I worked a late shift that day), but in my craziness of getting ready I forgot to pack my lunch. There aren’t a ton of healthy choices that I can get in my 30 minute lunch break (7-11 for fruit and yogurt is one of my best options), but I didn’t feel like doing that. So, I went through a drive-through. I got food that normal people eat on occasion and nothing too crazy. I didn’t get fries or a soda. And I planned it out so that I was still under my calorie goal for the day.

This meant that I couldn’t eat dinner when I got home from work, so my last meal of the day was at 3:30pm.

Was I hungry when I got home? Yes. Did I eat a small dinner? No.

I didn’t want to go over the calorie goal for the day. And in a twisted way, I wanted to punish myself for eating the crap food at lunch.

My plan did work a bit. I gained a portion of a pound, but I’m pretty sure that’s from the excess sodium in my lunch. It helped me feel more in control that I knew I was under my calorie goal.

Yes, I realize how crazy I must sound, but in the years that I got therapy for my eating disorder, I learned that I’m probably going to battle this my entire life. I’m going to have moments where I’m weak and eat things I shouldn’t. But part of winning the battle is how I react after. I didn’t give up for the day on Monday and eat more crap for dinner. I said that I was done with my meals and went to bed a little hungry. And the next morning, I was back on track with better eating.

That’s how I know I’m getting better.

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Posted in Food, Health, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

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Baby Steps (or Trying To Be Proud Of The Little Victories)

Posted on June 19, 2013 | 1 comment

For some reason, I can’t get it in my head that little victories are the steps that I need to take to get to big victories.

I should be ecstatic that I did my last 5K 10 seconds faster than my previous one. But all I can think about is how I am still over a minute slower than my goal time. But when I’ve talked about this with friends who run races, they talk about how they want to be 3 seconds faster or something like that. So 10 seconds (or 26 if you are counting how much faster I am now than my first timed one this year) is amazing.

I have the same issue celebrating my weight loss. I saw a friend online who mentioned that she lost 15 pounds since January and is now only 5 pounds away from her goal weight. That’s amazing! But for me, losing 20 pounds since I set my goal last year is not impressive at all. It’s a drop in the bucket for what I’m trying to do.

I know that in the past in my life, I’ve seen these victories as setbacks. Why have I only lost 20 pounds and not 60? Or 80? It’s a failure. This is why I hesitate to set goals for myself. If I don’t make it, I’ve failed. I haven’t had a partial win.

I don’t know how to change this mindset. I’ve discussed it in the past in therapy (I’ve stopped going because my new insurance doesn’t cover it and my therapist and I agreed that I was ok to stop). One of the things my therapist suggested doing was to not have goals for things related to my weight or health at all. That way, I’d never seem to fail.

But clearly, setting goals does work for me because I did my 5 5Ks in 6 months! Maybe I need to set goals that I can control more, but what counts as control? I should be able to control my weight, but it doesn’t work that way. I should be able to control my speed for my 5K, but again that doesn’t seem to happen for me.

I don’t know if I’m trying to get answers by writing this on here or what, but I needed to let it out. I know that I should be celebrating my 10 second victory this week, and I’m going to try to. I just wish that I didn’t feel like I was faking my happiness.

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Posted in Celebrations, Fitness, Health, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

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Seeing Signs (or How A Smurf Put Me In A Good Mood)

Posted on June 14, 2013 | 1 comment

This week hasn’t been the best week for me. I’ve been in a bit of a funk. My eating hasn’t been that great. And I haven’t worked out in a while. Part of the lack of working out was the fact that I didn’t have a sports bra for a while, but I’ve had a new one for 2 days and I still haven’t done anything.

As much as I want to get out of the funk, something is holding me back. I don’t know what. I do have a 5K this weekend, and I will do that no matter what, so hopefully that will turn my attitude around.

But this week, I had an encounter that made me smile. First, a little back story.

I studied with my acting coach, Kip King, from 2002 until he died in 2010. I had a very special bond with him (our birthdays are 2 days apart so he called me his birthday buddy). He knew how to push me but not go too far. One of Kip’s big acting jobs was being Tailor Smurf on “The Smurfs”. So when Kip was sick and in the hospital, I brought him Smurf things I found at various stores, like a Smurf Christmas ornament.

Ok, back to the regular story. I was in Babies R Us the other day getting a gift for a baby shower that I’m going to this weekend. I was walking around the aisles looking for the perfect gift when in the middle of a diaper aisle I saw this.

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It was a set of Smurf toys that said Happy Smurfday! on them. Technically, none of these Smurfs are Tailor Smurf (who has a needle through his hat), but it still felt like a sign to me. Why would there be a bunch of birthday Smurfs in the middle of the diaper aisle (and yes, I know the reasonable explanation is that a kid put them there)?

I saw those toys and I smiled. I thought about Kip and how much he believed in me no matter what. He saw me lose and gain weight all the time and loved me no matter what. He said that he knew that I would make it as an actress as long as I was patient enough to wait my turn.

Maybe I need to have that same mentality to my weight. I’m not going to sit around and not do anything, but I’m not going to let myself get this upset and in these slumps again like this. Right now might not be my turn to lose weight, but if I keep working at it like I do with my acting, eventually it will be my turn and things will fall into place. If I’m willing to work hard and be patient with my acting career (which I’m more than happy to do), why am I not allowing myself to have that same mentality to everything else in my life?

So thank you to Kip (or the kid that stuck those toys there) for helping me to see things a little differently when I was in a low spot.

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Posted in Acting, Fitness, Health, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss

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Setting Myself Up To Win (or More Preparation)

Posted on April 24, 2013 | Comments Off on Setting Myself Up To Win (or More Preparation)

I do a lot of things to try to make my life easier. When I have late shifts at work, I try to get some extra sleep (because I really do function better on more than 5 hours a night). I know that when I don’t remember to prepare a lunch or a dinner one day, I can always find something at Subway or some salad places near my house. And I try to get things done on my day off so I don’t have to try to squeeze them in before or after an 8 hour work day.

But just because these things are easier doesn’t mean that they are good for me. I’m trying to look at things now as better options, not easier options.

One thing that I’ve been able to do is figure out when I can fit in spin class into my work schedule. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I have a shift that starts at noon. In the past, I used the late start to catch up on sleep. On Monday nights, there are times that I don’t get home until 10pm and then I still need to have dinner and get work done. But now I’m making going to an 8:30am spin class a priority. I know that this won’t happen every Tuesday/Thursday (yet), but I’m working towards it.

Also, I’m trying (again) to be better at having food prepared so I don’t have to think about what I’m going to do for lunch or dinner. I’ll admit that this week I haven’t been good. I’m going out-of-town this weekend and didn’t want to go to the grocery store if I didn’t have to before my trip. But no matter what I eat, I am tracking all my calories on my app on my phone. I’m holding myself accountable for my good and bad choices.

Finally, I’m allowing myself to make mistakes. I really am an all or nothing sort of person. I didn’t want to start this blog until I knew I could maintain doing it 5 days a week (there’s no way to get yourself ready for that). So when I’ve had slip ups in the past, I’ve allowed myself then to continue slipping up until a determined date/time that I was going to “start over”. There’s no starting over in this now, just continuing on. I’m not letting a speed bump stop me completely.

I’m hoping with this new mindset not only will I be moving towards my goals a bit faster, but I’m hoping that I will not feel so over worked and stressed about being at my day job 6 days a week. I need to allow myself time to have a life and do things that are good for me and I enjoy. I didn’t allow myself that freedom last year.

Of course, I could completely change my mind about all of this next month, but I’m giving it a shot for now.

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Default ThumbnailReadjusting (or I Guess I Forgot What It Felt Like To Work My Work Schedule) Default ThumbnailFitting It All In (or Getting Better At Time Management) Default ThumbnailBack Into The Groove (or Staying On The Right Path While At Work) Default ThumbnailScheduling Life (or Trying To Remember What Day Of The Week It Is) Default ThumbnailWorking On Figuring It Out (or I Wish This Was Easier) Default ThumbnailA Weekend Catchup Post (or Maybe The Craziness Made Me Get Sick)

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Posted in Fitness, Health, Tough Stuff, Weight Loss, Work

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