Another Reminder That It’s Ok To Be Struggling (or We Might Be Isolated But Not Alone)

I’ve written a few posts about struggling during isolation. I think it’s such a common thing to be dealing with right now. Everyone is having difficulties in one sense or another. My friends with kids are trying to figure out how to make school make sense while they are home. I have a lot of friends who lost their jobs and are struggling to find new ones if they don’t think their jobs will be coming back. Anyone who lost a job that will be coming back is also struggling because of how low unemployment payments are (and there is still not a new plan signed that will supplement it). Some people have roommates or partners that they might not be getting along with.

And then there are people who live alone, as I do, who are dealing with extreme isolation. It’s still hard for me to be as isolated as I have been. Missing physical touch like hugs hasn’t been easier either. I think the longer I am without regular contact with others, the harder it’s been to deal with. And I think a big part of this struggle has been related to feeling like I’m losing a year of my life. This year is the year that very little progress will be made in my life. Some of my friends who are single and are my age have been talking about how we already feel like there is a clock with fertility and how tough it is to take away one of the last years they feel like they can have kids. I don’t feel that stress about kids as much as my friends do, but I understand the feeling completely.

And giving up a year of your life is harder when it doesn’t seem like everyone else is doing that. It feels at times that everyone else is out and living their lives while I stay home and do nothing. I know this isn’t true, but it’s tough to remember how many others are isolating like I am. I’ve described this feeling before as being on my own little planet and I think that still describes it. I’m out in the world staying in my house and things are continuing on without me being there. Again, I know this isn’t necessarily true, but it feels like it so much.

Part of being isolated is not realizing how many others are doing the same thing. On social media, people who are isolating are probably not posting about it as much as people who are going out and doing things. So you don’t hear their stories as much. But it doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. The more I talk to my friends, the more I know what they are doing. And the more I post about struggling, the more people who come forward saying they feel the exact same way.

Being alone and isolated doesn’t allow you to see who else is doing the same. We may be alone in our homes, but we are not alone in our actions. And I’m trying to remember that more and more. And I’m trying to remind myself that I’m not isolated for no reason. I’m doing this to keep myself healthy. I’m doing this to keep others healthy. And I’m doing this to help make this end sooner. The sooner more people isolate and stay home, the slower the spread of this will be. And maybe it can be almost eliminated from the area. I don’t have high hopes about it being gone from the country until we have a national plan, but if it can at least be safer to be outside my house, that will be a big step forward.

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