Monthly Archives: April 2021

Taking More Steps Back Out Into The World (or Isolation Feels Like My Normal)

We are almost 13 months into the pandemic. There are so many things that we have been different for over a year and just feel normal to us now. Wearing a mask is something I don’t love because it makes me feel a bit claustrophobic, but is a habit to me now. The few times I’ve been around others without a mask almost feel weird. Shopping for some basics before I run really low is another thing that I used to not do but is normal to me now. I don’t hoard things, but I also don’t let myself get to where I really need to get something within a day or two. For example, I used to not care if I ran out of contact lens solution because I’d just go to the store the next day. Now, when I see it’s getting low, I plan a trip to get that and other things within the next week. I’m not necessarily scared of not being able to get something, but I like to not feel like I really need it immediately.

But there are a few things I’ve gotten used to that I’m not as ok with. I have become a bit more of a germaphobe in the last year (just like so many others). I’m not fearful to the point of not leaving my house ever, but I do plan when I’m going to be out in public so I don’t have to do it as often and I can combine errands so I do a lot in one day and not one thing each day. I do miss having my errands more spread out since it’s a great way to feel like I’m done with one part of my day and moving on to the next (like what I want in my challenge this month). And maybe soon I will feel better about going out more often. I’m considered fully vaccinated this weekend, so that’s making me feel a little more protected even though I will still be doing a lot of the same precautions.

But I am taking a few more chances that before seemed like unnecessary risks. They are silly things that I’m doing, but it’s helping me ease back into what my life was like and not always feeling like I need to be as isolated as I’ve been. For example, it had been a while since I took my car to the mechanic. I wasn’t worried about it at all last year. I didn’t really drive that much the entire year. And I probably wouldn’t have worried about it just yet except that I got an alert on my car about my tire pressure. This is something I know I can do myself, but I’m also going to be going to Santa Barbara this weekend and I wanted to make sure my car didn’t have any other issues before I drove (I have too much history of car issues in my old car on longer drives). So earlier this week, I went to the mechanic after work.

My plan originally was to wait there for my car to be done since I could just wear a mask and read my book. But they thought it might take a bit longer so they offered to drive me home and they’d come to get me when it was done. While I have been in cars with friends and family over the past year, this was the first time I was in the car with someone I didn’t know. Not something I thought about too much before, but something I also wouldn’t have done even a month or two ago. Even though we were both wearing masks and had the windows open, it only felt ok to me since I’m almost considered fully vaccinated. I know I’m probably overcautious and paranoid, but that’s how my thinking went.

I want to feel ok doing things like going to stores for clothes and other errands instead of doing deliveries. I’ve only gone into a few stores in the past year (I can honestly only think of 1 CVS, 1 Vons, and 1 Trader Joe’s). I know it will take time for me to feel ok going to restaurants or movies again, but I still want to find things that push me out of the isolation bubble I’ve been in. Once I go back to Orangetheory (which hopefully will be soon), I think that will help me a lot. It’s going to be slow steps forward to getting back into being in the public again. A stark contrast when compared to how suddenly everything shut down.

I’m grateful that I’ve had the ability to stay home and isolated for the past year. I know not everyone could do that and many were not able to stay healthy. And I’m also lucky that I live in a state that seems to be having fewer cases and not seeing an increase (at least for now). And while I do still need to be careful and safe because things aren’t back to normal yet, I’m also making sure that I get out of the habit of being so isolated and start getting used to the possiblity of being out and about again.

Working On A Work/Life Balance (or Almost Repeating A Recent Monthly Challenge)

I know I say something like this every year, but I can’t believe we are a quarter of the way through 2021 already! I hope that as the year progresses, things continue to get safer and soon the pandemic will be a thing of the past. And while the first quarter of the year wasn’t perfect, it was an improvement over a lot of last year.

And while things aren’t open up completely just yet and I’m still trying to be careful and cautious, my monthly challenge for last month was to work on planning more things that I can do. Being home and being isolate is good for health reasons, but my mental health suffered a lot. I know that the sacrifice was worth it because I didn’t get sick, but trying to plan ahead is important and gives me something to look forward to. I didn’t end up doing too much this past month to be a bit more social, but it was better than it has been before. Even just having time to hang out with friends has been good. And going to things like the Drive-In Drag show has made life much more interesting lately. But I’m still trying to find things to do to fill up my free time. I know that I might feel a bit better about doing things once I’m considered fully vaccinated (which is really only a few days away). I’m starting to take some more chances with being social, and I need to allow myself to do that while also being aware of what risks I’m taking.

And since I’m trying to find more fun things to do in my life, I need to work on really finding what time I have to use for free time. I’m not working a ton, but I’m working more than I have lately. I will be having a slight reduction of hours at one job, but I’ve increased my hours at my other and I might be starting back at my old customer service job this month! If I’m back at my old job, it won’t be the same hours I used to work. I will actually be working around the hours for my new customer service job. But that will make my hours seem very close to what they were before the pandemic (with the exception of working on Mondays now with the new job).

With all of my work being done from home and one job being completely on my own time, it’s really easy for me to feel like I’m working a lot longer than I really am. If I work from 9-3 as set hours for my customer service jobs, goof around on my computer for an hour or two, work on my blog post for the next day, and then do 2 hours for my last job, it can feel like I worked from 9am-7pm even though I didn’t. I want to find a clear delineation between work time and fun time. Even if fun time is just reading a book or watching tv, I want to feel like my time is mine and I am not trying to finish up some work stuff later.

So that’s exactly what my challenge is for this month. I want to find a way to separate that time. I want to be planning for what hours I’m really working and what hours I’m not. This is similar to the scheduling challenge I recently did, but I’m putting more of a focus on what hours I’m working more than an overall schedule. I need to figure out what my real work schedule is. I know it’s not as many hours as it seems because I am mixing up fun time and work time. I need to be in more of a habit of having my own personal office hours and being able to walk away when I’m done.

I will say that one thing that is working in my favor is that I only do work stuff on my computer. I do have the ability to do some of it on my phone or my iPad and I do have my work email on my phone (in case I need to be reached), but I don’t work unless I’m on my computer. Part of this is because it’s not easy to work on a smaller screen or not have a keyboard. But it’s also nice to know that other devices are not for work and that I can relax while I’m on them.

I will probably do a lot of the same stuff I did with my scheduling challenge. I’m still not sure if having a paper schedule is better than a digital one, but I’ve been playing around with it. And while I won’t know for sure if I’m going to start back at my old job just yet, I’m going to schedule as if I am (it’s only going to be 2 hours a day when I return). And if I’m done with work stuff early because I didn’t need that time, that’s fine. I’d rather have too much work time scheduled than not enough.

Hopefully, this will make things a bit better for me and I won’t feel like I never step away from work. I want to have a balance with my time. Even though I’m not filling up my free time with a lot right now, I know that more is coming back into my life. And I’m continuing to prepare for that time to be here!