Posted onOctober 31, 2019|Comments Off on A Little Job Update (or It Was Silly To Be Scared)
Even though I’ve had the same jobs for a while now, I still am always terrified that I will be fired. I don’t know if I will ever get over that feeling. I wish I could, but there is just something in my head that makes me think that I’m always a moment away from being fired. I feel much more secure in my customer service job, but I think that’s because it is a much more consistent job and I have constant communication with my manager (but when my boss needs to talk to me, it scares me so much).
With my research/data entry job, I have a little reason to be nervous. I shouldn’t be scared that I will be randomly fired, but I never know if I’ll have another contract. It started out much more stable, but now I am on temporary contracts when they can have me working. I’ve been lucky this year with the contracts I was put on, but it’s still a bit scary.
The one thing that helped me with the fear with that job was that I knew my boss well. She and I met in a workout and then I worked for her with another company. When she had an opening with the company she moved to, she hired me. So I didn’t have to worry too much about what my boss felt about me since I knew her well and knew that she would talk to me if there were any issues. For example, there was an issue a while back with my work on the website not showing up. It turned out that there was an issue with how the data was being saved and we were able to fix it. To her, it might have looked like I wasn’t working. But she was able to ask me about it and I could clear up an issue before she felt like I shouldn’t be working for her.
That boss has now left that company. She was offered an amazing opportunity with another company in another state. I’m sad she left, but I’m so happy for her because I know this is really great for her and her family. And she will be working with me a bit still because she is going to be put on contracts as I have been. So even though she won’t be my boss, I can still ask for help from her from time to time.
I’m currently on a new contract for that job, and it’s doing work that I’ve never done before. This is more about website design work and eventually some writing/blogging work. When I was offered the contract, there wasn’t a lot known about specifics because the website was still being worked on. There were ideas of what I would be doing, but not the date that work would start. Until I was able to start that work, I was told there were a few random tasks I could help with to get some hours. So I started working on those and when I finished I was waiting for what was next.
I realized last week that a lot of time had passed and I didn’t have an update on any new work. And because I was working with a different boss, I was terrified to email her to check in. I finally had the courage to do it and didn’t hear anything back. I was so scared that because I hadn’t been able to work that they were ending my contract or something. But I decided to try to stay positive and sent a follow-up email a few days after that just checking in.
I’m so glad I stayed calm and positive because my second follow-up had an almost immediate response. My first email hadn’t been received and that’s why I didn’t get a response. And my boss completely understood why I hadn’t been working because things had been delayed on her end. We had a big catch up call last week to figure out some things and I have been able to work a few hours here and there since then.
My lack of hours was not because I was being flakey or slacking on work. It was just about not having assignments to work on. And I’m so grateful that my boss understood that and didn’t assume something else about me. I hate that my mind was telling me that she would be thinking something bad about me and that was making me worry about sending an email. I know how silly it is that I think like that, but I have come to accept that I might feel like that forever with work.
Fortunately, now I feel like I can email my boss more and check in without fear of her thinking I’m not working hard enough or enough hours. I hope that it will make working on this contract easier and hopefully she will be happy enough with my work to put me on another contract after this one ends. It’s a little scary that my old boss isn’t there because I know she pushed for me to get work there. But I just need to work on making sure I have my new boss in my corner so she will think of me as a hard worker and someone that she wants to have working as often as they can hire me.
Posted onOctober 30, 2019|Comments Off on Having Another Lazy Weekend (or Trying Not To Feel Like I Missed Out)
I was really expecting to be able to go out and be social this past weekend. I had a party I was supposed to go to and I was excited to get out and see my friends. And through most of the week, I was feeling up for it and ready to go. But then it seemed like everything hit me on Saturday and I was exhausted.
I think a part of it was how crazy my work has been lately. It’s the busy season right now and it seems like the busy season is worse than ever. There have been times that I have 3 customers in online chats, 1 customer on the phone, and several other customers trying to call. Everyone working has been busy like this so it’s not that I’m picking up the slack from someone else. It’s exhausting having to multitask like that and the customers are bringing up some very complicated issues. There have been some calls where I’m working with a customer for over an hour because either they have a hard issue or keep adding new questions. When I’m done with work, I need to decompress. It’s not always like this, but lately, it’s been every day.
And Saturday was no different from the rest of the workweek. It was a crazy day and when I was done I just couldn’t think of doing much else. I did go to my workout since that helps me feel like the workday is over, but when I was home I didn’t want to have to leave my house. I tried to pull it together and go out, but I ended up falling asleep and not waking up until close to when I wanted to go to bed. I texted my friend who was hosting the party and hopefully she understands why I couldn’t make it.
Sunday was a lot of the same. I was tired even though I slept more than I had in a while. And my body was not feeling so great so I had to do a lot of stretching before getting out of bed. I had some errands that I had to do, so I went out to do those and then went back home to relax a bit more. I needed to recharge and I’m glad I didn’t push myself to go out. But at the same time, it’s a little sad that I wasn’t able to.
I try not to feel like I’m missing out too much when I choose to stay home. I know there will more parties and outings in my future and missing some won’t affect me being able to go to others in the future. But I was frustrated because I really thought I was finally over the exhaustion I had from the convention and was ready to go out again. But this exhaustion was caused by other issues and no matter how recovered I felt from the convention, I still would have been affected by my work.
Everyone I work with is hoping that things calm down after Halloween. We are still in the busy season through the end of the year, but Halloween is extra busy (just like New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day). Hopefully, we are back to the normal busy season next week and I won’t feel as overwhelmed and exhausted at the end of the workday. And if I am, then I really need to do some work on how to manage this better. I’m sure I need more sleep than I’m getting right now. But maybe I also need to add a few other stress management things into my life to help. I’m not sure. I just need to get through this week before I can focus on it since this week is hopefully the craziest and most exhausting week of the year.
Posted onOctober 29, 2019|Comments Off on Dating Life Update (or I Guess I’m Lucky I’m Still Seeing Humor In This)
It’s been a while since I’ve written much about any random adventures I’ve been having with dating or online dating. And that’s because there haven’t been any big developments. I’m still dating and finding a lot of the same struggles I’ve had for a while. I have noticed a few differences, but I feel like they are more about what I am learning about myself and not what I am learning about how to date or find the right guy for me.
I’m not fed up with dating (at least not yet), but it’s definitely testing me. I’m so tired of having the same things happen over and over again. And I know that they aren’t necessarily my fault. I keep finding men who are just in LA for vacation so they might be fun to meet up with for dinner but there’s no potential there. I find men who answer my innocent opening lines with something dirty and disgusting. On Bumble, women have to start texting. I usually have a simple opening line such as “Funny or scary movies?” and I get some fun answers. But then there are the few guys each week that answer it with something like naked movies or whatever they have filmed on a hidden camera in their bedroom.
Because my tolerance for things like that is going down, I’m unmatching with those guys right away and not feeling bad about it. They don’t need a second chance when they start a conversation like that. If they were someone I wanted to meet, I wouldn’t have such a negative reaction to what they wrote.
I’m also getting annoyed with men who either don’t seem to want to make plans to meet up or unmatch with me after planning a date. There’s only so much I can do to suggest meeting for coffee or a drink. If a guy won’t take the hint or won’t follow through, I don’t see the need to waste my time on them. I’m not looking for someone to text with, I’m looking to meet up and see what can happen. And I have encountered several men who make a plan to meet up and then the day of they unmatch for whatever reason. Maybe they changed their mind and didn’t feel like I needed to know, maybe they never wanted to meet up. I try not to take that rejection personally, but it’s hard not to think there is something wrong with me that made them do it.
I also went out with someone recently that I thought I really clicked with. We had a great first date that ended up lasting over 12 hours between meeting up, going for drinks, getting dinner, seeing a movie, and just talking to get to know each other. I was excited about a second date and he seemed to be as well. And while we were planning that second date, he said he didn’t want to go out again because he didn’t think we had a connection. Again, I tried not to take it personally but it wasn’t easy. But a friend put it in a different perspective for me. My friend said that if this guy couldn’t figure out if we had a connection while on a 12-hour date, I shouldn’t want to go out with him again because he’s not quick to pick up on things. I appreciated hearing that and it made me feel so much better about the situation.
But focusing on more positive things, I am trying to be more open to taking chances with dating. If I’m not 100% sure about a guy (maybe I don’t think they are my type or they have something in their profile I’m not sure about), I still am willing to meet in person since you never know. There are guys that I didn’t think I would like that I ended up going out with several times. And the same goes for guys I have gone out with before. I am willing to give guys from my past another chance as long as they didn’t do anything to hurt me before. If we just were in different places and that’s why we stopped seeing each other, then I am willing to try again if they want to. Of course, if they were rude to me or did something else that upset me, they don’t get a second chance no matter what.
And I’m still enjoying the various dating-related Facebook groups that I’m in. Many of the groups I’m in are about being single and not necessarily dating. They celebrate being single and dating posts aren’t as often. But it’s still a great support for me and I enjoy seeing how other people are enjoying dating and being single. And then there is one group that really is a dating support group for me. We can share anything that has happened on dates or dating apps and we all are sounding boards for each other. We can post texts for others to help interpret or screenshots of dating profiles (with the photos and names blocked out) to have a good laugh. That group has helped me stay sane when I feel like this is all driving me crazy. I don’t know what I would do without the women in that group. Their virtual support means so much to me.
I wish I had a better dating update to share, but it’s really that I’m just trucking along as always. I am becoming a stronger person as I go through the dating world and am more sure about what I want to find in a potential partner. I know what I deserve and what I don’t need to tolerate. And as much as I wished I had learned that lesson on my own, I think I had to learn it through dating because it really does help to make things clearer. I have more to write about my online dating book soon, but for now, the update is just that I’m still going and still trying to see the positive in the randomness of the dating world.
Posted onOctober 28, 2019|Comments Off on Starting Off Hell Week (or 5 Workouts And They Were All Hard)
This past week of workouts was an epic one for me. First, it was the start of Hell Week. I do love Hell Week workouts and enjoy the challenge they bring. But it was a tough week for other reasons too. I was also dealing with the end of the nausea cycle and I did 5 workouts this past week! And 4 of those workouts were back to back! That’s crazy, especially considering everything else I was going through. Hell Week didn’t start until Thursday, so I started the week off with normal workouts.
Monday’s workout was a strength day, and it was also a run/row class (which I usually can only have on Mondays since that’s my only 2 group class). It was a good class even though I wasn’t feeling great because of something that happened at the beginning of the workout. I didn’t realize the cleaning wipes and trash can were right behind the bike. And when I got off the bike the first time, I swung my leg over and karate kicked the can. It fell right over with a huge clunk. I would have been embarrassed if it wasn’t so funny. It really put me in a better mood even though physically I wasn’t feeling great.
The cardio run/row had 3 blocks, and the first and third were the same. Those blocks were the only run/row ones and they were all short segments. The rowing I got to were the 100 and 150-meter rows for each block. And on the bike, all of the things I did were under 2 minutes. We were switching a lot and that was nice. The second block was a more traditional strength block. We had incline work with increasing inclines and I was able to use the resistance levels on the bike.
On the floor, it was a day of lunges. We had 3 blocks and they all had lunges as a part of them. The first block was lateral lunges to suitcase squats (I split these two moves up and did them separately), regular lunges, and hip hinge low rows. The second block had swing lunges (I used the straps to help with these), single-leg bicep curls, plank spiderman (modified by using the bench), and crunches. And the last block had lunges to scaptions and plank low rows. It wasn’t a horrible floor block to do with my nausea, but I did take a few breaks to let the nausea pass when it started to feel really bad.
Wednesday’s workout was the last pre-Hell Week workout. But it felt extra hard because I injured myself on Tuesday. I chipped the bone on my little toe, and even though I buddy taped it there was still some pain. Fortunately, my nausea was done by Wednesday so I was only dealing with one issue. But it still made the workout interesting.
It was a strength day, and there was a lot of hill work for cardio. We had 2 blocks and each block had hill climbs with us increasing the incline/resistance level every 30 seconds. I was working with the resistance levels and they weren’t too high for me on the bike. I was getting to just 1 above my all out level so they didn’t seem as bad as some of the other strength days that we’ve had. I was happy with the work I was able to do and my toe wasn’t hurting too much on the bike which was a surprise.
Unfortunately, I discovered that rowing with an injured toe is very tough. The pain wasn’t as bad as it could have been because of how I taped my toe, but I lost a lot of power not having a flat foot on the rower to push back. The first block started with a 100-meter row and then frogger squats. We kept increasing the rowing by 100-meters each round and had the squats in between. The squats weren’t too bad and a nice break from the rowing. In the second block, we were supposed to row the total we rowed in the first block before doing squats again. But by this point, I was hurting a bit more so I never got beyond rowing the distance I got in the first block.
And on the floor, we also had 2 blocks. The first block was all weight work. We had upright rows, pullovers, and seated twists. And the second block had high rows on the straps, hip hinge reverse fly with weights, and we were supposed to do bear steps. I had to skip the bear steps because of my toe, but doing bicycle crunches was the closest thing I could do to modify it. I was proud of the work I did considering having issues with my toe. And I felt ready for the start of Hell Week, which was going to be the next day.
Because I want to get 5 Hell Week workouts in, I had to add an extra workout at some point because my normal schedule would only get me 4. I was excited for Hell Week so that took over any feeling of nerves from doing so many workouts in a row. And the first day of Hell Week was called Pulse.
This was an interesting workout and it’s not the easiest to explain, but I can share what my group did (every group had a slightly different workout). I started on the bike and the first block was a 14 minute cardio block with rounds of runs for distances or all outs followed by recoveries. We started with a 90-second run for distance and it went down 15 seconds each round. When we got to a 30-second all out, then we started to work our way back up.
Next, we switched between cardio and doing pulsing half squats (which is what inspired the name Pulse for the workout). The timing was the same as it was for cardio, but we alternated what we did during the active time. We did half of them on cardio and the other half was doing the pulsing half squats the entire time. It wasn’t easy to do squats for that long and my legs felt like they were in cement when we finished. But the bike was a nice break from the squats for me.
Finally, we had a run/row type workout for the second block. Again, we had the same timing as we had for the first block, but we switched between having our active time on cardio or on the rower. And the rower person used the cardio when we were on the rower. There wasn’t always a lot of time to switch back and forth, but we did our best to make it work. Even though I spent more time on the bike in that workout than I normally would, I’m glad I had the extra time there. I think if it was on the rower it would have been too hard for me. And the people who had extra time on the floor had to also do burpees and I was grateful to not have to do those.
Only about 14 hours after I finished my first Hell Week workout, I was back for another one. This workout was called Split I and it felt like a mix of a power and strength day. This workout was a bit more straightforward than the day before, which was nice since it was an early morning class for me.
On cardio, we had a workout similar to the Everest class. Every minute, we increased the incline/resistance level. That’s all we did for 14 minutes. There was no decreasing incline after we reached the top and no recovery. The goal was to keep our base pace going as long as we could. For me on the bike, it’s a bit harder since I actually don’t have a specific cadence for a base (I’ve realized I should probably work on this), but I did want to work on the hill work. Because we would be increasing so many times, I started lower than what my base normally is at. But even starting easier than normal, I ended up with a resistance level higher than I think I’ve ever used on the bike. I think it was 3 or 4 levels higher than my previous best. It wasn’t easy and I was moving very slowly at the end, but I did it.
On the rower, all the rows were 400-meters. We were supposed to do different types of squats after each row with increasing reps, but I couldn’t do much more than regular squats. So I added up the total number between each of the types of squats we were supposed to do at that time and just did that number of regular squats. There were so many squats and I don’t know if it would have been any easier if I had a variety of types to do.
On the floor, we had 1 block but it was split into 2 mini-blocks. And the reps were increasing each exercise and round. We had chest presses, overhead triceps with weights, and push-ups for the first mini-block. And the second mini-block had bicep curls, hip hinge low rows, and low rows on the straps. The way the reps worked was we had 3/6/9/12 reps for the first exercise, 4/7/10/13 reps for the second exercise, and 5/8/11/14 reps for the third exercise. The first 2 rounds weren’t too bad, but the second 2 rounds were really hard and I had to go lighter with the weights I used.
And my last (and 5th) workout of the week was on Saturday and it was called Split II (so I got to resolve the cliffhanger from Friday’s workout). It wasn’t exactly the same as Friday’s workout with the way we went back down the inclines, but it was close.
For cardio, we were on our own timing. Every cardio segment was .1 miles (.4 for the bike). We started at the top incline or resistance level and worked down each round. And between each segment, we had ground to press using weights. We started at 1 rep and added 1 each time. My legs were still tired from all the other workouts in the week, but I also knew I had a rest day on Sunday so I was able to go a bit harder. I did manage to make it down the entire resistance level which was a nice accomplishment.
And on the rower and floor, we had a bit of a partner workout. But we were partnered with the person next to us in the same section of the room. So on the rower, I was partnered with another rower and on the floor, I was partnered with another person on the floor.
The row partner workout started with one of us doing an 800-meter row. While the partner was rowing, the other person did rounds of 10 squats and 10 hard pulls on the rower. Then the other partner did the 800-meter row. Next was a 500-meter and 200-meter row with the same pattern. It was hard because there were no breaks, but my partner and I were pretty equally matched with rowing times.
And on the floor, it was a similar idea as the rower. We had 2 blocks and in the first block, one partner did squats while holding a medicine ball and front raises with the medicine ball while the other partner did lateral steps with the mini-band. And in the second block, one partner did plank jacks and plank side reaches while the other partner did front raises with the mini-band around their wrists. Just like with the rower, there were no breaks while on the floor which made it extra hard. My partner and I were so glad when the class was over.
I’ve got 2 more Hell Week workouts this week and then I’ll earn my Hell Week shirt! And getting the shirt is something I am excited about. This week is back to my normal workout schedule which will be nice. But I am proud of myself for challenging what I can do and going for 5 workouts in a week, but I don’t think I want to do that every week (at least, not yet).
Posted onOctober 25, 2019|Comments Off on 3 Years Knowing About The Tumors (or I Forgot An Anniversary)
I am always telling my friends that I love my blog for many reasons, but one reason is that it reminds me of when things happened. I can look up a blog post and get an idea of when something happened. But I only see that when I look something up. But social media can remind people of things too when it tells you what memories come up. And the other day, the memory photo that came up was from my Disneyland outing right after I found out there was something wrong with my liver (before I knew they were tumors). So I realized that my tumor anniversary was around now.
I don’t know what date to consider my tumor anniversary because there are so many options. Is it when I was at the hospital and found out something was in my liver? Is it when I found out that I had a tumor? Is it when I found out the type of tumor it was? I honestly don’t know which day to acknowledge (similar to how my medical miracle anniversary is potentially multiple days). But I do know that about 3 years ago, I was in the middle of a crazy medical journey of discovering I had tumors and making a game plan about what to do with them.
And when I saw those first images of my biggest tumor, I was so shocked. It did mess with my head because I was having issues feeling disconnected to my body, but I tried to not think about that too much. I knew the risks I was facing with this tumor being in my body and made sure I wasn’t doing anything that added to that risk. And I looked at that first photo hundreds of times because I couldn’t believe that something that big was in my body that shouldn’t be there.
The months between discovering the tumors and discovering they shrunk were also crazy for me. I was dealing with the idea of having these tumors and making preparations to have major surgery to get rid of them. My focus was on that surgery and doing anything I could to get ready for it. When the surgery didn’t happen, that also threw me off a bit and I had to deal with those feelings.
3 years later, I still have the tumors in my liver. But they are all significantly smaller than they were when they were discovered. I will be doing my next MRI soon so we can confirm they are still shrinking. I have no reason to believe that they wouldn’t be. If they stay the same size, then I have to go over a few other options with my liver surgeon. But I don’t think surgery will really be discussed much at that appointment. I’ve already discussed when he would think surgery would be an option and it’s mainly if the tumors start growing again. And if I’m going to have gallbladder surgery (which is something I expect to have in my future), then my surgeon said we can combine the surgeries so I can have my gallbladder removed along with the largest tumor. But I’m hopeful that the tumors have continued to shrink and that will be the news I get in a month.
Like with so many things in my life, it seems like yesterday and a million years ago that I discovered I had these tumors. I’m glad that I don’t think about them all the time as I did right when I learned about them. I do think about them each day when I do some visualization, but that’s only a few seconds a day. Besides those moments, I usually don’t think about them unless I’m telling someone the crazy story of me and my tumors. And it is a fun and crazy story to share.
I’m glad I had a reminder on social media that this is about the time that I discovered the tumors. It’s nice to be able to reflect back on it and think about what has happened in the past 3 years. So much has changed in my life and there is also a lot that has stayed the same. But I think the changes outweigh any stagnation in my life and it’s nice to think about the positive improvements I’ve gone through.
Posted onOctober 24, 2019|Comments Off on First Halloween Party Of The Season (or At Least I Made An Appearance)
There has been a lot of Halloween party invites lately and so many of them are happening on the same nights. As much as I want to attend everything, I know I can’t and I know if I did that I’d be feeling overwhelmed. So I had to be selective a bit with which parties I would be going to. I didn’t think about how I’d be feeling the days of the parties, and unfortunately for the first Halloween party I attended I was dealing with nausea.
The party was for SAG-AFTRA NextGen Performers. I do love going to NGP events because they are always so fun. Even though I was feeling rotten, I knew I’d find a way to make it. I would have loved to have figured out a costume to wear to the party, but I hadn’t had a chance to figure out what to be. And I also was struggling enough getting dressed and getting out of the house, so even if I had a costume I don’t know if I would have worn it.
I’m glad the party wasn’t too far from my house, so I didn’t have to worry about driving over there and traffic. And the party was only supposed to be about 2 hours long, so I decided I would try to make it for an hour before heading home. I didn’t take any photos while I was there, but it was a really good turnout. There were so many people at the event and lots of amazing costumes. Even if I had figured out a costume and felt good enough to wear it, I wouldn’t have come close to placing in the costume contest.
Right when I arrived, I found several of my friends. The entire time I was at the party was spent socializing and catching up. Even though I just saw most of these people at the convention, we didn’t really get to socialize too much then. If I had been feeling better, I probably would have spent time meeting people who were at their first NGP event and seeing who else was there, but I was feeling like just chatting with my friends. It wasn’t the best thing to do, but I was just proud of myself for pulling things together enough to go out and not just sit on my couch. Some of my friends were in charge of helping to judge the costume contest, so I walked around with them and got to see more of the costumes that people wore. There were a lot of awesome photo opportunities like a step and repeat and a photo booth, but I didn’t do either of those. I did end up being in a few of the photos the photographers took while they walked around, but I haven’t seen them posted online yet so I can’t share them.
Just when I was starting to feel really bad, I realized that I had been there for an hour so I didn’t feel bad that I was going to leave. My goal was an hour and I didn’t feel like I needed to push myself more than that. Plus, I was starting to get more nauseous and when that happens I get sweaty and tend to look sick. So I knew that it wasn’t going to be my best look.
I worked on making my rounds around the room to say goodbye to my friends. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to everyone, but my friends knew I wasn’t feeling well and knew that I might leave before I saw them again. Driving back home after the party was tough and I was glad when I got home and could lie down on my bed to let the nausea waves end. It was also time for me to take medications again, so I took those and waited for them to kick in.
I know that the first Halloween party I attended was a bit of a bust. I didn’t do much and I didn’t talk to too many people. But for me, when I feel as sick as I did, just leaving my house is a victory. I have bailed on so many plans because of my nausea and I’m trying to push through that as much as I can. It’s not always possible, but I also know that if I don’t take chances than I won’t know how much I can do. And I was proud of myself for taking the chance and finding out that I was able to at least do a little something. And the nausea is getting better now so hopefully I’ll be fine for the other parties I will be going to.
Posted onOctober 23, 2019|Comments Off on Forgot To Share Some Awesome News (or I’m Going To Be An Aunt!)
A few weeks ago, my brother and sister-in-law announced that they were having a baby! I am so excited for them! I knew that they were trying to get pregnant and I was so happy when they told everyone that they were! The baby is due toward the end of April, but I’m hoping it’s born on April 4th to share a birthday with my mom and it would also be on my aunt and uncle’s anniversary (so many people in my family have birthdays/anniversaries on the same day or consecutive days). But I’m guessing the baby will be born closer to the due date.
I love how confused their cat looks in their announcement photo. He has no clue what is happening and how his life will change when he’s not the only baby in the family. But hopefully, he becomes a good friend to the baby (I never have had a cat so I don’t know too much about how cats do with babies). I’m tempted to get the cat a big brother shirt to wear when the baby is here.
Even though my extended family has kids in that generation (I have cousins on both sides of my family with kids), but this is the first new generation in my immediate family. And this will be the first time I’m an aunt! And I can’t wait to be Aunt Jen to this baby, although it’s still so weird for me to type out “Aunt Jen” still. I’m sure I’ll get used to that name soon.
I was already excited about this future kid, but we also found out about a week ago that they are having a boy so I will be an aunt to a nephew! I knew they were hoping for a boy so I’m so glad that they found that out. I know they would be awesome parents to either a boy or a girl, but I’m excited it’s a boy. Most of my friends have had boys lately, so I’ve got a lot of cute baby boy outfits I am already thinking of getting my nephew. An aunt’s job is to help spoil the kid and be a bit silly, and I am totally ready to take that job on.
The news that they were having a boy happened around the same time as my grandma passing away, so I’m glad there was something happy to celebrate when I was feeling low. And I have a feeling my family feels the same way. I am sad my grandma won’t get to meet their baby, but this baby already has so many family members ready to love him and fuss over him.
I’ve had a few people in my life ask me if I was upset or feeling negative about my brother having a baby, and I’m not feeling that way at all. I know some people might think that because I’m single that I was jealous or felt weird that my younger brother was having a kid before I was married or had a kid. But to me, this wasn’t even a thought. I haven’t met the person I want to marry and have kids with yet, so why should I be upset that my brother has? Everyone has their own timeline, and this is theirs and mine is still to be determined. I know not everyone thinks that way or feels like an older sibling should do things first, but that’s not how my family thinks. And I’m so glad my family isn’t like that and we can all celebrate this awesome news without hesitation.
I will get to see my brother and sister-in-law in about a month when we are all together for Thanksgiving. I don’t know when I’ll see them after that, but hopefully we can figure plans for them to come to LA or me to go to Santa Barbara before they have their baby. And I’m sure I’ll be going to Santa Barbara after they have the baby to meet him. I don’t know the timeline of any of that, but I’m glad they live close to me so things can be flexible and I can easily go up there on a day off when the baby is born.
I’m sure it’s clear from my post about how excited I am for my nephew to be here! This is news that I have been hoping to hear for a while and I’m so glad it’s happening. And it’s going to be amazing to see who this kid is going to be as they grow up and the type of person they are. I’ve loved watching that with my friend’s kids and my cousin’s kids, and now I get to watch that with someone in my immediate family!
Posted onOctober 22, 2019|Comments Off on I Needed A Week Long Nap (or Dealing With Exhaustion)
Last week was not a very exciting week for me. After everything that happened, I was exhausted. Physically exhausted, mentally exhausted, and emotionally exhausted. If I had just had the convention, I probably would have been exhausted for the week. Having that plus my grandma passing away brought my exhaustion to a new level.
I have realized that I didn’t really give myself time to grieve much in the days after my grandma passing away. I had to stay focused on the work I was doing at the convention and that’s what she would have wanted me to do. I was grateful for the distraction, but that also meant that things finally started to hit me more last week when I had the time to think about them. I had a big breakdown on the day she passed away, but after that, I had mini-breakdowns each day. I have been able to get myself together after a few minutes, and it gets easier each day. I’m worried that it will hit me so much more at Thanksgiving, but there’s nothing I can do in advance to help make that easier.
Crying and grieving is tiring. And being exhausted from lack of sleep didn’t help that feeling. So last week, I really just spent the week doing what I had to do and not much else. I worked and went to my workouts, but I didn’t do much beyond that. The week was a bit of a blur for me, but I honestly don’t think I left my house much last week. I went to the grocery store and ran errands, but I didn’t do anything social. And being home was probably the best thing for me because I could rest when I needed to.
And I also needed to focus on a lot of housework. The days I was working at the convention were packed and I wasn’t home much at all. When I got home, I would put my stuff down, make sure my bag was packed for the next day and go to bed. I had piles of things around my house that I put down and knew I would deal with later. And last week was the later time I had to worry about it. Fortunately, a lot of the things I had around my house was stuff that I didn’t need or had a very obvious storage place. But there are a few things that I still need to figure out if I will keep them and if I do where they will go. And besides organizing, I had the normal cleaning stuff I had to do. I hated how dirty my house felt because I hadn’t cleaned in a few days. I finally have it back to how I like it and it feels much better.
While I don’t love that I basically took a week to recover from a crazy few days, it’s exactly what I needed to do. If I hadn’t taken that time, I think I would still be dragging on a bit right now. I would have pushed myself to do more and I would still be exhausted. I’m still grieving a bit and dealing with the emotional exhaustion, but it’s much easier to deal with when I’m not physically exhausted. And I am dealing with a lot of pain and nausea right now which I think would have been much harder to deal with if I was tired. I still am taking naps occasionally, but this is normal for me when I’m feeling nauseous.
And at least I’ve got some fun things planned for this week and I’m feeling much more up to them than I would have last week. I’ve got some Halloween parties to go to and a Halloween costume to make. I haven’t started the work on my costume, but I have the idea and hopefully, it will be easy to make once I have the supplies. And since Halloween is one of my favorite holidays I think that will boost my spirits even more.
And even though I am not fully back to my normal self, I’m glad I’m much closer than I was last week. I am still being gentle with myself and making sure I don’t overschedule things, but I also know that if I don’t start doing things again that it will also affect me. I just have to slowly add things back in and not be worried to cancel them if I need to.
Posted onOctober 21, 2019|Comments Off on Getting Back To My Normal Workouts (or Struggling But Managing)
After having 2weeks back to back of weird workout weeks, it was nice to get back to my normal schedule. Having a routine sometimes is frustrating, but it also is nice to know what to plan for. And I was glad to be getting back to it (although I have realized that soon I’ll have another weird workout week coming up). The only thing that worried me about this week was I knew it was probably going to be a tough one. Not only was I expecting to have some pain and nausea issues, I knew Monday might be tough since it had been a while since I worked out.
Monday’s workout would have been a tough one even if I hadn’t had a long break. We had a 23-minute row, which felt like something from Hell Week. Since I started on cardio, I didn’t have to start with the row. I started with the cardio/floor work.
For the cardio/floor work, we had one long block. It started with a .25 mile with cardio (1 mile on the bike) and then we had our floor exercises. We had hip hinge swings, chest flys, tricep extensions, push-ups to knee tucks, rollouts, and v-ups. Then it was back to cardio to repeat it the same way. I made it through 3 rounds and was feeling pretty good considering, but I knew the rower was going to be much harder.
The rower was a solid 23-minutes of rowing. But it was broken up into a few sections. We had team rows where one person set the pace and everyone was supposed to row in unison, recovery rows where we could rest but keep rowing, and 500-meter rows on our own. It was not easy and it was a big challenge. The team rows were really challenging because it wasn’t easy to see the person setting the pace and it was easy to get out of sync. I ended up being the pacer for the row for the last team row and that did make it a little easier on me.
Wednesday’s workout was a power day. While I had recovered from not working out for a while, I was dealing with nausea. But power days seem to be one of the easier types to deal with when I feel off.
For cardio, it was all set at our own pace. We had different distances we were supposed to do with recoveries after each distance. I kept my resistance level on the bike at my base level just to keep things easy for me. And I tried to not take a break doing each distance unless I was really nauseous. Fortunately, the distances were pretty short so I was almost always able to do that.
On the rower, we started with a 300-meter row with frogger squats after. We went down 50 meters on the row but then did that distance twice. Each time we went down in distance we added another round. I was doing ok with the rowing at first, but my nausea really started to kick in so I had to take it easy toward the end of the block.
And on the floor, we had 2 blocks. The first block had skier swings, hip hinge low rows, and Y raises. And the second block had clean to presses, pop jacks (which I modified using the bench), and low rows on the straps. It wasn’t my best floor block, but it wasn’t my worst either.
Friday’s workout was an endurance day, and it was also my toughest day. I was feeling so rotten and my medications didn’t seem to take the edge off of anything. It really became a day to just get through the workout and not focus too much on what I was doing and how much effort I was putting into it.
The cardio was rounds of push paces to all outs. I kept my bike resistance level at my base level and just tried to keep pedaling. I was taking a lot of breaks and the only sweat I had was from nausea. It was one of the worst cardio blocks that I could remember and honestly, I hope I never have a cardio block like that again.
The rower block started with rounds of 150-meter rows with tricep work in between each row. We did that until the end of the first block and then we looked at the distance on the rower. The second block was to repeat the distance from the first row and then there were more exercises. I didn’t actually finish rowing the repeat distance so I don’t know what everyone else did after that. I just worked on rowing and taking the multiple breaks I needed.
On the floor, we had a lot of lower body work. We had single leg sit to stands, swing lunges, and step-ups (which I modified to be regular lunges). We did those on both the left and right side and then we had core work with double crunches, sit-ups, and bicycles. The floor work went much better than the bike or rower, so it was nice to end on a slightly better note after a pretty bad workout.
Saturday’s workout was a strength day, and even though I was still feeling off I decided to make an effort and use the resistance levels on the bike. I was still going easy on myself, but I was trying to push myself a bit more than I had the day before.
Cardio had 2 blocks. Both blocks started with a 2-minute distance challenge and I kept the resistance level at my base level for those. Then we had a 3-minute hill with decreasing incline every 30 seconds. I used the resistance levels for this part and IÂ did use the levels I was supposed to use. And each block ended with an all out which I did at my base level but working on pedaling faster.
The rower was all about stroke drills. Stroke drills are when you go slowly and focus on maximizing the distance with each pull on the rower. We started with 15 strokes and then we had overhead presses with the medicine ball. We repeated the 15 stroke round before moving to 14 strokes (and repeating that before decreasing). I like stroke drills because it gives me time to focus on my form. And I think this was the best rowing option for me when I wasn’t feeling great.
And on the floor, we had 2 blocks. The first block had seated bicep curls, low rows, and plank work (modified by using the bench). And the second block had overhead tricep work, chest presses, and toe reaches. This wasn’t that bad of a floor block for me, but I also know that I wasn’t pushing myself as much as I had with cardio. But I have to be gentle with myself sometimes and this was one of those times.
I’m looking forward to hopefully feeling better this week. I know the beginning of the week will possibly be bad, but that should hopefully end just in time for Hell Week to start! I know Hell Week will be hard, but I do look forward to it as it is a great way to challenge myself. And hopefully, I’ll be able to accomplish some really awesome things during those workouts.
Posted onOctober 18, 2019|Comments Off on Kicking Off A Musical Season (or Seeing A Cartoon Brought To Life)
Even after having a crazy weekend at the convention, I wasn’t going home to rest after we were done on Sunday. I finished up with everything in the early afternoon, had a little break to get some lunch, and then it was off to my next adventure for the day.
It was the first musical of the new Pantages season! This season, I’m going with my friend Dani again for the shows. And it will be an interesting season because only the first few shows are at the Pantages. After that, they move to the Dolby and I’m still curious how the shows will work there since it’s a much bigger theater. I’ll have to wait until our shows move there, but for the first few shows, we have the usual seats that we’ve had for the last few seasons.
Dani and I went for dinner before the show and we checked out a ramen place that we’ve walked past almost every time we’ve gone to a show. For some reason, we’ve never gone there and we wanted to check it out. It was really good and ramen was the perfect thing to have before the show. I wanted something warm but not too heavy because I was worried I would fall asleep during the show. I was already tired (both physically and emotionally) but the ramen seemed to perk me up.
I was excited to see “Anastasia”. I love the cartoon and have seen it multiple times. I always thought it would be a good musical since the songs in the movie were really memorable. I’m glad that it was made into a musical so we could see it!
The musical was very similar to the movie. They did change up some of the characters and the magical elements were removed, but it was, for the most part, the same story as the movie. And the songs that were in the movie were used along with lots of new songs, but some of the songs from the movie were in different places. I actually liked where they moved songs to and it almost made it make more sense they way the musical had it done.
The set was interesting with being just a few walls with pillars and having screens where the windows would be as well as long the back. It made it easy for the show to change locations and made it really fun to watch when things were supposed to be moving in the background. For example, when they were on a train the screen in the background showed the tracks and the landscape moving. There were a few moments I didn’t love the screens, but overall I think that was a smart design idea and it helped make the stage seem full without a lot of set pieces or props.
And I think one of the best things in this show were the costumes. They were incredible! We are lucky that our seats aren’t too far from the stage so we do get to see some of the details on the costumes, but I wish I could have looked at them closer. I saw some photos online and they have so much detail work on them and the work was impeccable. Even if we sat in the first row, I don’t know if we could have appreciated all the work that was done. But you can still tell even when seeing them from a distance that they were done with a lot of care.
We did have some annoying audience members seated behind us that felt like singing along and talking during the show was appropriate (and they wouldn’t quiet down). It’s unfortunate when there are people in the audience who don’t respect the performers and the theater in general. We have been lucky that we rarely have bad audience members near us for all the shows we go to. But when it happens, it’s extra annoying.
But despite the bad audience members, I really did enjoy the show. I really wanted to see a show that was easy to watch and also a bit of an escape. And that’s exactly what this was. I didn’t want to watch anything dramatic or serious because I had dealt with so much the few days prior. And this show was perfect to help me feel better and that’s one of the things I love about having these musical seasons. Before I started doing this again, I forgot how much going to shows was self-care for me. And now I get another year of shows to look forward to.
Gearing Up For Another Temp Job (or At Least It’s More Work)
