Monthly Archives: October 2019

A Big Loss In My Family (or Saying Goodbye To My Grandma)

I’ve worked on this post multiple times and I keep deleting and re-writing it. I wish I had an eloquent way to write this, but my words are failing me. As you can probably tell from the title of this post, my grandma passed away.

She passed away peacefully on Friday. I actually found out while at my convention. I had just changed for the gala and was walking back from my car after dropping off my daytime clothes when my dad texted me. The text said to call when I had a break at the convention and I immediately knew that it was going to be about bad news. Several things went through my head, but I called my dad back right away and he let me know that my grandma passed away. My parents thought about waiting to tell me, but they didn’t want me to see it posted on social media or something before they could give me the news.

I immediately burst into tears. I knew my grandma wasn’t doing well and that she was probably going to pass away soon, but I had really hoped that she would make it to Thanksgiving so I could see her one more time. The last time I saw her or talked to her was last Thanksgiving (she wasn’t really able to talk on the phone anymore so I didn’t get to call her over the past year). So I wanted to see her again so I could feel like I had a chance to say goodbye. I hate that I didn’t get that chance, but I also know that my grandma wasn’t really herself for a few months.

I had been having weird dreams for the 2 weeks before her death that she would pass away while I was at the convention. I don’t know why I thought that, but in all my dreams I found out in the middle of convention voting. I never dreamt it would be as I was walking into the gala. I hung up with my dad quickly since I was trying to pull myself together. A friend of mine saw me crying hysterically on a couch and he went to find some tissues for me and sat with me for a little while. And when I went into the gala, I tried to hold it together but there were several times I started crying. I felt so lucky that I was surrounded by friends that night who were able to comfort me a bit. And I remembered during the gala that the purse I was using was one of my grandma’s that she passed down to me, so that made me happy.

I know when my grandpa died I wrote about his life and what he had done. But I can’t do that with remembering my grandma. I was closer to her than I was with my grandpa and everything about her is a memory of something amazing.

I remember being little and thinking my grandma was so glamourous. When she got ready in the morning, she would do her hair and makeup and then wore this mesh thing over her head while she got dressed to make sure her makeup didn’t get smudged. I loved that she did that. She always was protecting her hair and making sure she looked good. I remember when my grandparents went to an amusement park with us and my grandma agreed to go on a water ride because she thought she’d stay dry. Our raft got stuck under a waterfall and she was the only person under the water. She was soaked and we were all laughing so much.

She was also an amazing cook. When they had their house in San Diego, their kitchen always smelled delicious. It seemed like she could make anything and I was lucky that my mom had the same cooking skills. When my mom and grandma cooked together, the food was just that much better.

And my grandma loved playing backgammon. I think everyone in the family learned to play because of her. She was easily the best backgammon player and we joked that she was a witch because she could always roll exactly what she needed. She loved that she was able to kick all of our butts and never went easy on us. She played to win every time and her face lit up as soon as she knew there was no way for her opponent to beat her.

And just like my grandpa, she loved to travel. My grandma went to all 7 continents and loved to explore new places. And I loved traveling with her. I remember when we were on a cruise in Belize and there was a dance contest one night for all the guests. My grandma ended up dancing with the boat captain and she was dancing up a storm! I know we have a video of that somewhere and I’m so glad that I can watch it again one day.

I really wish I could say enough so you all could know how amazing and incredible my grandma was. Losing her was heartbreaking, but at the same time I know she wasn’t doing well for a while so I’m glad she’s no longer a shell of who she used to me. When I saw her a year ago, she wasn’t the same person I remembered most of the time. But every so often, the old grandma would reemerge and she would be who I remembered. Last year, the moment that stuck with me the most was when we were watching old family movies. We were watching a birthday party when I was little and my dad was on the screen. My grandma turned to me and asked me who that was. I told her it was my dad and she turned to look at him sitting on the couch near us. My dad in the video had hair and my dad now is bald. My grandma turned to me and said in a totally serious voice that my dad looked much better when he had hair. It was so funny and made me so happy to get a glimpse of the grandma that I remembered.

I tried to find a nice way to share photos on here, but there are too many that I love and no great way to organize them in this post. So here are some of my favorite photos of my grandma that I had on my computer (I don’t have any of my favorite photos with her from when I was younger).

And this is one of my favorite recent photos with her. I had picked my grandma up from where she was living in San Diego to meet up with my family. She couldn’t find her sunglasses but I had some extra ones in my car. They were much flashier than what she would wear, and my dad took a picture of us because he said my grandma looked so cool. I just love this photo of us.

The last photo I have with my grandma is from last Thanksgiving. We were trying to get a nice family photo and it was difficult. So I told my uncle to set his camera to take a video and I would find a still image that would work as a family photo. But instead of selecting a posed one, I love this candid one of us all and my family seemed to love it too. I’m glad that I have a silly photo of all of us together last year.

I’m going to miss my grandma so much. I don’t know if it’s hit me since I wasn’t expecting to see her until Thanksgiving. I think this Thanksgiving is going to be a tough one, but my grandma would want us to celebrate her and not be sad. She would want us to have fun, be silly, make crazy jokes, and enjoy life. And that’s what I’m going to try hard to do.

The Convention Gala (or Casino Night And Awards)

There are a lot of things I love about the union convention. I love being involved in my union. I love getting to meet actors from all over the country. I love (and most convention attendees would agree with me on this one) how much fun we have for the food truck lunch. And I love going to the convention gala.

Not everyone goes to the gala since you do have to pay for it. But since I don’t have to pay for travel, I figure I can splurge a little for a gala ticket. Plus, it’s a tax write-off for me. I’ve attended the gala at each convention I have gone to and I immediately bought a ticket for this year’s gala when they went on sale. Since we are limited with time we can socialize, I do try to take advantage of doing that when I can and the gala is the perfect time for that.

After the work of convention was done on Friday, I got changed into my gala outfit. I don’t dress up that often so I do like dressing up for it. Not everyone changed their clothes between work and the gala, but most people were in cocktail attire or better. And that’s how I dress too.

I’ll apologize in advance that I don’t have a ton of pictures from the gala. I wasn’t focused on that and I only took a few.

The first part of the gala was a casino night! There were different casino games set up for us to play. We all got $500 in fake money to play with and when dinner started we could trade the fake money for raffle tickets. The more money you had, the more tickets you got. I didn’t look too much at the prizes, but there were some fun baskets with union swag, sunglasses, and wine. I’m not a huge gambler and when I do gamble I usually play slots. Slots weren’t an option at casino night so I ended up not gambling and just trading my $500 in fake money for 5 raffle tickets. But I had a lot of fun watching my friends play blackjack. They were awesome and won quite a bit!

Then we headed into the main ballroom area for dinner. I really regret not taking more photos because the room was beautiful. The ballroom is where the Golden Globes are held and it was so much fun getting to be in there to watch the American Scene Awards (which are awards we give at convention to different employers).

There are also golden cards given to amazing members and staff. This year, they went to people that I knew and that made it even more exciting to watch. I loved hearing the speeches celebrating them and the speeches they gave after they won. It was so wonderful and made me even more passionate about union service. If I’m able to do a fraction of what they have accomplished, I will be a success.

After the awards, the raffle happened (I didn’t win anything) and then it was time for dancing. I was already exhausted from a long day, but I at least wanted to see my friends who were also at the gala. I only managed to get one photo with my friends, but at least it’s a good one.

I didn’t take a red carpet photo this year, but my friend Ben has a new iPhone and the camera takes nice portraits so I have one good photo of me from the gala.

The dress that I wore was something that I bought a while ago and never wore. I usually don’t wear such bright colors and wasn’t sure about wearing it. I was thinking of bringing a backup dress, but my friends convinced me not to do so. And I’m glad that I wore it because I got so many compliments about it! Plus, it’s a very comfortable dress and it didn’t require wearing Spanx or other compression stuff underneath to look good. This isn’t the most flattering photo of me, but it gives you an idea about the full outfit since I didn’t do a red carpet photo.

And just like with every other evening of the convention, I tried to head home early because I knew the next morning would be an early one. I wasn’t out too late at the gala, plus the location was much closer to my house, so I was home earlier than I had gotten home from the other galas.

I’m so glad that I continued the tradition and got a ticket to the gala. It really was a great night and I love getting to have something fun in the middle of all the work that we do. It’s the perfect break during the convention and something that I know I’ll attend at all future conventions.

A Full Convention Weekend (or Preparation Pays Off)

This past weekend was the SAG-AFTRA National Convention. It was my 3rd time going to convention as a delegate and it was amazing! Because I had been to 2 previous conventions, I had an idea of what it would be like. But this still had some new things for me because it was the first time that I had a bit of a leadership role within my slate. I also feel like this time I was significantly more prepared for all the resolutions and was more informed about what we would be voting on and what would be coming up.

Convention started on Thursday with the welcome reception. I have always gone to the welcome reception because it’s a great time to get to meet the other delegates from different parts of the country. I wish I had taken a bunch of photos because it was a really nice event. This year, all of the convention was happening at the Beverly Hilton (which was nice because it was much closer to my house), so it was a little different from the past 2 conventions. I spent my time at the reception saying hi to my friends that I knew and the delegates that I had last seen 2 years ago. I also got to meet a lot of new delegates and hear about their stories. It’s always interesting to learn about acting careers in other parts of the country, and I got to hear lots of journeys from my fellow delegates.

I didn’t want to stay too late at the reception because I knew the next day would be an early morning and a long day, but I was having too much fun and ended up leaving much later than I planned. But it did give me a chance to see a lot of people and be social since I knew the next few days would be busy and not have a lot of free time.

Friday was the longest day for me. We started early with convention and I started working my day job from my seat. I’ve done this every convention and it’s something I feel grateful I can do. I don’t take customer calls when I’m working from there, but I can do the online chats. Fortunately, work wasn’t too busy so I could pay a lot of attention to what was happening on the stage, but I did have a few moments where I had to turn my focus to my work to make sure that I did my share of the work.

We did our elections for the Executive VP, Geographical VPs, and Category VPs. My slate had a candidate for each of those and it was very exciting when we learned that we won! Everyone who ran for a VP spot was someone that I have gotten to know quite a bit during election season and I knew they would do amazing work as a leader in the union. When almost everyone else was enjoying their lunch outside, I grabbed my food and ate back in the convention room because I was still working. But fortunately, some of my friends did join me inside to eat and it was another great time to be social.

The rest of Friday was working on voting for resolutions. We had a lot and we knew it would take all 3 days. We wrapped up around 5 and then I got ready for the Convention Gala. I’ll write more about the gala tomorrow, but I again had a late night and knew the next day would be an early one.

Saturday was more of the same for me. I did work my job while there, but it was only for the first few hours and then I could just be focused on the convention. We did more voting for resolutions before lunch and after lunch, there were different breakout sessions we could attend. But instead of going to a session, I went to the NextGen Performers meeting. I go to NGP events from time to time, but this meetup was with different NGP committees from around the country. We discussed some of the resolutions that people had coming up so we could brainstorm and give feedback. And we got to learn about the different NGP committees in different parts of the country and see what things we wanted to do for the LA committee. It was a great meetup and I got a lot out of it.

Saturday afternoon was more voting before we concluded for the day. I had been invited to a casual dinner with some of the different NGP people and originally planned on going. But I was tired and knew I needed to get some things done at home, so I had to change my plans and just go straight home. I wish I could have gone, but I really needed to try to get some sleep and I know I made the right choice.

The last day of convention started earlier than the others, but we needed that time to finish the work. We got through voting all the resolutions which was a big accomplishment. There were more resolutions this year than any other year and it’s not easy to get through all of them. We did move quickly, so I was glad I knew a bit about all of them ahead of time so I wasn’t that confused and conflicted about how I wanted to vote. We also got to hear speeches from the Executive VP, Secretary-Treasurer, and President. I have been lucky enough to get to know them each during the election season, but they still continue to inspire me when they speak.

When the convention was done, it was time to take official delegate photos. And then it was all over. It was a very intense long weekend, but just like the past 2 conventions, I left exhausted and encouraged. It was overwhelming, but I loved having all the information presented to the group. I am more motivated than ever to continue with my union service. I want to keep making SAG-AFTRA amazing for those of us who are members now as well as members that will be joining in the future.

I was a bit sad when I looked back at the photos I took and I realized that I didn’t take that many. Most of them were from after the convention was done and I was running around trying to get pictures with my friends. But I have so many memories from the past few days and I don’t need photos to remind me of those. But I am glad that at least I have a few with some of the amazing people that I am lucky enough to get to work with.

Another Short Workout Week (or Still Can’t Believe My Milestone)

This past week was another short workout week for me because of my weird schedule. I had the convention from Thursday to Sunday so I couldn’t work out those days. So I had to do 3 days in a row, which is something I don’t do that often. But it was worth it because I got to end my week with my milestone workout!

Monday’s workout was an endurance day, and it was a really good endurance workout. It was a 2 group class, which I think helps me with building endurance a bit. The class was split in half so 30 minutes was spent on cardio and 30 minutes was spent on the floor. There weren’t a lot of breaks, so I had to be much better about taking breaks when I needed them and trying to have active recoveries as well.

For cardio, we had 2 blocks. We had rounds of push paces to base paces. Each base pace that followed a push pace matched. So we had a 90-second push pace, 90-second base pace, 75-second push pace, 75-second base pace, and so on. In the first block, they got shorter by 15 seconds each round and in the second block, they got longer by 15 seconds. So the intervals ranged from 30 seconds to 90 seconds. And each block ended with a 30 second all out. I debated about working with the resistance levels on the bike, but I decided not to. This way, I would focus more on my pedaling speed and it would be easier to get back to my base pace each time. Plus, I thought not adding resistance would help me not need breaks during the base pace time. I did still need some breaks from time to time, but I did much better than I think I would have done if I worked with the resistance levels.

On the floor, we also had 2 blocks. Each block started with a row. The first block we had a 300-meter row and the second block we had a 600-meter row. And all the other exercises involved using the Bosu. The first block had lunges with a goblet weight hold, front raises while kneeling on the Bosu, chest flys while laying on the Bosu, and hip bridges while laying on the Bosu. I did have to modify the lunges to be without the Bosu and I did go lighter with the weights since I was also balancing, but I felt good about those modifications. And the second block had burpees, side crunches, and reverse hyperextensions. I didn’t hold the Bosu while doing the burpees but instead used it to place my hands on, similar to what I do with the bench for burpees. They were a little harder than normal since I was getting closer to the ground, but it was a good challenge for me.

I did an afternoon class on Tuesday, which was a bit odd for me. I used to almost only do afternoon workout after I was done with work. Now, I rarely do them. But it was fine taking a class after work and I think it’s good to mix things up occasionally. The workout was a 2 group class and it was a strength day. I think that some people weren’t too happy about a strength class when the Everest workout is this Friday. I didn’t mind since I will be missing that class.

The cardio was a run/row, which is something I only get to do in a 2 group class. I modified the run/row a bit to make things easier for me to remember to switch, but I still did it close to what we were supposed to do. What I did was a 1-minute push pace and then a 1-minute all out on the bike. Each time I got back to the bike, I increased the resistance level by 1. But I kept it the same between the push and all out, and focused on pedaling faster during the all out minute. And when I went to the rower, the first row was 100-meters and each time on the rower increased by 50 meters. I kept that the same. I got the resistance on the bike up pretty high, higher than I’m used to doing. But it was a good challenge for me.

On the floor, we had drop sets which means we do the same exercise twice but with different weights. The first block had a drop set for bench presses and then high rows on the straps. The second block had a drop set for shoulder presses and then low rows on the straps. And the last block had a drop set for overhead tricep work with weights and then bicep curls on the straps. It was a lot of upper body work and my arms were done by the end of the workout. I wasn’t going super heavy with the weights because it was getting really hard for me. And I knew I would be working out again the next morning so I didn’t want to overdo it.

Wednesday was my milestone day. Even though I was tired from working out the day before (there were only about 14 hours between my workouts), I was so excited about the milestone so that invigorated me. It was also a power day, which is always a fun class for me.

For cardio, we had 3 blocks and all of them had push to base paces. Every push pace was 30 seconds long and the base paces ranged from 30-90 seconds. Because all the push paces were so short, I decided not to play with the resistance on the bike and just focus on pedaling quickly. I also was still a bit tired from all the high resistance work from the day before so that may have made me decide to not use resistance levels too. But it went really well for me and I was glad that I could still do great work even with it being my 3rd workout in a row.

On the rower, we had decreasing and then increasing rows. We started with a 250-meter row and went down by 50 meters each round until we got to 100 meters. Then we worked our way back up by 50 meters each round. Between the rowing, we were supposed to do jump lunges but I did squats instead.

And on the floor, we had 1 long block that was split into 2 mini-blocks. Each mini-block was supposed to be completed 3 times before moving on. The first mini-block had lunges, squats, and plank in and outs. And the second mini-block had skater lunges, sumo squats with high rows using weights, and plank jacks. I did modify the sumo squat/high row move to be done separately, but besides that I did it what we were supposed to.

And even though I shared this photo already, of course after my class on Wednesday I had to celebrate my 1,000th class!

That was it for my workout week. It was short and felt even shorter since I did 3 days in a row. But I’m back to my normal schedule now and get to start working on my next 1,000 workouts!

Time For Convention (or I’m Ready To Get To Work)

If you are reading this the day I post it (or the few days after), I’m currently sitting at the SAG-AFTRA National Convention. This is my 3rd convention and I’m honestly so excited about it. I am so much more involved in union politics this time and I have a feeling that if I am lucky enough to win a delegate seat for future conventions that I will be even more involved by then.

For my first convention, I was equally overwhelmed and excited. I had no clue what I was in for, but I was prepared to be there and take it all in. I spent more time sitting and listening and trying to learn than anything else. I didn’t know what else to do, but being there and participating was all I was expected to do.

For my second convention, I wasn’t overwhelmed since I knew what was going to happen, but I still wasn’t doing much more than listening and participating in the votes. I didn’t submit any resolutions and I didn’t get up to speak. Most people don’t have resolutions or speak, so I didn’t feel too bad about that. I think a lot of being a delegate is being a representative for the group you are there to represent (for me, that means for actors in the Los Angeles local) and voting the way you believe is right. And that’s exactly what I did 2 years ago.

This year, I will still probably do a lot of observing and listening. I didn’t submit any resolutions, but I did help some friends with working on theirs. I feel much more informed about what is happening and what to expect. I have been more involved in the preparation for my slate for the convention, which has helped me a lot as well. As I work on things for everyone else, I learn more about them myself. I feel the most prepared I’ve ever been and I am even more excited than I was the past 2 conventions about what is going to happen.

I know that there is so much more that I can do to be more involved, but it’s ok that I haven’t done those just yet. I plan on being in SAG-AFTRA for a very long time so there is a lot of time for me to work on changing things to make sure they benefit all members. And I have been taking more steps to be involved with working on educating myself even more. I am trying to go to more events and meetings which I have found really helpful. And maybe being at those events and meetings will inspire me to create a resolution at a future convention.

I’m looking forward to recapping what happens at the convention next week on here. I won’t be able to share everything since some things are confidential, but I do want to share what I can because I feel like other members need to know what we did. And I’m so excited to see what I will learn this time and how inspired I will feel after convention is done.

A Major Workout Milestone (or Getting To 1000)

Yesterday, I hit a huge workout milestone. It’s something that I honestly didn’t know that I would get to, and I’m still a little surprised and in shock. Yesterday was my 1,000th Orangetheory class!

Because I track my workouts, I knew that this was coming up. I did only 3 workouts last week to make sure that my 1,000th class was in one of my regular classes (I’ll post more about my weird workout schedule in my recap on Monday). I wanted to have my milestone class be a class where I knew I’d have friends with me. While I’ve had other milestones with Orangetheory, this was one that seemed crazier to me for some reason.

I had been getting excited about this milestone for a while, and the staff at the studio knew what was coming up as well. But it still surprised me when I walked into the lobby and saw a giant sign congratulating me on doing 1,000 classes.

I’m not going to write about the workout much in this post since I’ll be doing that on Monday. But I want to share some of my thoughts after completing 1,000 classes.

I’ve said it before on here, but I had struggled in the past to find a workout that connected with me. There were other workouts that I tried that I just couldn’t do or coaches that treated me differently because of my size or medical conditions. I didn’t know it at the time, but I needed to find a place that treated me like everyone else but also helped me modify things when necessary. And when I walked in Orangetheory for the blogger preview, that’s exactly what I found. While I have been invited to check out other workout studios or classes, I’ve always compared it to Orangetheory and have always wanted to stick with it.

I started about 5 1/2 years ago and have consistently gone at least 3 times a week since I started. I started tracking how many workouts I did after a year or two so I could set goals for each year. But I also was able to track overall milestones. And I knew that getting to 1,000 classes was possible, but for some reason, I never thought too much about it until the beginning of this year when I started to add up how many I had done from every year.

I might not look different on the outside, but I know I am a different person than who I was when I started. I have gained so much confidence and awareness with my body. I feel more in control. I understand what I can push my body to do and what limitations I have. And I do think that I look a little different on the outside too because there is no question that I have gained muscle. Weight loss will hopefully come soon, but eating disorders are tough to beat and that’s a big issue for me with weight loss.

But I haven’t only made changes through the workouts directly. I have also made amazing friends from going to the same classes from week to week. I have brought friends and family to class with me and that’s been awesome too. I feel like it has helped me be a bit more outgoing being in class and the routine is a good thing for me (even though I did just complain a bit about being too much in a routine). I feel like I have more of a purpose each day and when I don’t get to work out it feels so odd to me.

I still don’t see myself as an athlete all the time because I know I don’t look like one. But after completing 1,000 classes, I think that I need to stop questioning that and believe that I truly am an athlete.

1,000 classes ago, I started a journey that I wasn’t aware was going to happen. So many things have happened for me because of taking that first class and I wouldn’t change it for anything. And next week, I start the journey of the next 1,000 classes and whatever that will bring my way.

Of course, I had to take a picture with some friends after my 1,000th class, and I wanted to compare it to the photo I took after my very first class. I feel like I look the same (which I’m trying not to focus on too much), but I also feel like you can see the difference in my eyes and smile. I have gained so much from these 1,000 classes and there’s no denying that.

Under 90 Days Left In The Year (or Doing A Bit Of Reflecting)

Life has been crazy for me lately, but I’ve had a bit of a break over the past few days. I spent a lot of the time when things were calmer getting stuff done that I had been putting off. I also spent some time catching up on social media. While I do run some social media accounts, I haven’t really done a lot on social media for myself. And when I was catching up on seeing what other people have been up to, I saw a lot of posts from a few days ago talking about how there are only 90 days left in 2019.

I have said this a million times, but I have no clue where the time went. I was just thinking about how I should figure out if I was going to do something for my birthday, and my birthday was 2 months ago! I think I missed the chance to do that, but there’s always my half birthday. I know that time flew by because I have been very busy and my life is quite repetitive. From week to week, things do tend to stay the same for me. I have a similar schedule every day and even the things I do outside of work tend to be similar. And things have been crazy with trying to fit a lot of stuff in when I’m not working and things tend to chunk up together so I have a cycle of being extremely busy followed by a time where I don’t have much planned.

But I started to think more about what I have done this year and what I still want to do. I took another look at the various goals I set for this year and I’m glad that I have been making some progress on them. I don’t think I’ll be successful with all of the goals I set this year, but it would be a miracle if that happened. The goals I set are a mix of those that I know I can do and some that are more difficult. My priority is to get the ones accomplished that I know I can do plus a few of the harder ones. I think I’ll be able to do that this year, but I also want to make sure that I’m not being complacent and just doing the goals that I can do without much thought.

But I also can add some more goals for the last 90ish days of the year. I don’t exactly know what I want to get done, but I want there to be a change in my life. I have been living a life that doesn’t seem like a lot gets done or changes. And I need a change in my life. I am tired of living the same day over and over again. There are so many things that I want to change about my life that I’m not in control of, and I need to think beyond those. If I just focus on the changes that require someone else, I won’t make the changes that I can do on my own. And I think my focus has not been on the ones I’m in control of. I don’t quite know what those changes are just yet, but I know there are things I can do. And I’d love to work on them (or at least figure out what they are) during these last 90ish days of the year.

This is all still such an abstract idea for me because I have just been doing some thinking about it and not planning or doing any action steps. And I know I have been aware of this before and I haven’t been able or willing to make changes. I don’t know how many attempts it will take in order to finally make the change, but hopefully, it will happen one day. I don’t want to have 10 years go by and realize I’m still living the same life. I’m shocked when I realized how many years I’ve been working at this job because I don’t know how time went by without a lot of changes. I want to make sure that my life is as awesome as I want it to be, but it’s not there yet.

I don’t always love using the calendar to set goals and plans. I do set goals at the beginning of each year, but sometimes those goals are already things I’ve been working on. I don’t believe in waiting until the first of the month or a Monday to start a new plan. But for some reason, knowing there were only 90 days left in the year connected to me and got me to think about how I want to end out this year. I want to have some things to think about as accomplishments for 2019 and it’s not too late to start working on them.

Another Pumpkin Party (or A Day Discussing All Things Creepy)

My friend Anne hosts an awesome pumpkin decorating party before Halloween each year. I’ve only been able to make it once because of scheduling conflicts. I was afraid that this year I would have a conflict due to the convention, but I was so excited when I got the invitation and saw it was before the convention so I’d be able to make it! I’m not the craftiest person, but I like trying to see what I can create. Plus, Anne and her friends are extremely artistic and crafty so I always am inspired when I see what they create.

I haven’t decided if I would be decorating this year for Halloween, but I knew that if I was going to that I would want my pumpkin to go along with the ones I did at the last party. I didn’t have a design in mind, but I knew that Anne would have a lot of crafting supplies at the party and I was going to see what was there and what seemed right.

When I got to the party, as expected it was set up beautifully. Anne really is an amazing host and she had everything set up for all of us to decorate our pumpkins however we wanted. There was also some amazing food, but I forgot to take a photo of that.

When I got to the party, I was one of the first people there. I got to meet her other friends who were there (I didn’t know anyone except for Anne) and we also did some catching up. Anne and I hadn’t seen each other in person for a while, and even though we stay in touch through social media, it’s not the same. So having some time to fill each other in on what has been happening in our lives was nice.

And then I decided to take a look at the various craft supplies to see what I wanted to use. I knew I didn’t want anything covered in glitter or paint because that would make it messy to get back home. I wanted something fun, but I am also aware of my limitations with art. I was looking through a collection of drawer pulls in a bowl and saw this awesome keyhole one. And that kicked off the inspiration for my pumpkin.

My other pumpkins have a lot of black, so I was going to go with that for this one too. I had a slightly more elaborate plan when I started, but once I got to working on it things simplified. I used the hot glue to attach several pieces of ribbon going down the pumpkin and then used regular glue to attach some gems to the ribbon. And I managed to fit 2 of the gems into the keyhole and tape them in there so it almost looks like it’s glowing from inside. I know it wasn’t anything fancy or super creative, but I’m really happy with how it turned out!

I didn’t have a specific design inspiration outside of the keyhole piece, but I realized after I was done that it reminded me of the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland! It has similar colors to the ride, and I guess that’s perfect since the other pumpkins I made have Disney elements to them as well.

Even though the main point of the party was to decorate pumpkins, of course, it was also all about hanging out and meeting new people. All the people that Anne invited were amazing. It turns out I have a bunch of mutual friends with several of them, and it’s almost weird that our paths haven’t crossed yet. And not only were they awesome people, but we all also had something in common that became a huge part of our socializing: being into true crime stories.

I thought I was really into true crime. I listen to podcasts about it, have read books about it, and watch lots of tv shows about it. But it turns out, I knew nothing compared to everyone else at the party. They all are way more informed than I am about different true crime stories and watch lots of shows that I don’t. I got some great podcast recommendations from hearing what everyone else likes and was able to share one podcast that I listen to that the others in the group hadn’t heard of. But since everyone else was more into true crime than I am, I ended up sitting back and listening to the conversation a lot. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to or feel like I could participate. I was just more in awe realizing that I was in a group of people who are so similar to me and loving hearing what they had to say.

We joked about how it was a bit odd that we were all into true crime as much as we are. But it also seemed very fitting to discuss serial killers while doing a Halloween craft. And since we all were into it, I think that made it even less odd.

I would have loved to have stayed at the party longer than I did, but Anne has a cat and I’m severely allergic to cats. I was surprised I lasted as long as I did because I usually start to have a reaction after an hour. But her cat was hiding the entire time and she cleaned a lot before we all came over. So I think that combination helped to keep my allergies from kicking in as fast as they normally do. I was really enjoying hanging out with everyone and having so much fun discussing true crime and serial killers, so it was sad when I was starting to have some breathing issues and the rash and hives I get from my allergies were starting. I wanted to leave before things got too bad for me.

I’m so glad I was able to make it to the party this year. Hopefully, I’ll be able to make it next year as well because it really is a fun Halloween event to go to. And it gives me an opportunity to try to be crafty when I don’t usually do that.

The First Of 2 Short Workout Weeks (or It’s Funny That This Feels Weird To Me)

This past week, I only had 3 workouts. There was a time not that long ago that working out 3 times in a week seemed like a lot. Now, it feels weird to not have my 4th workout. But this was done for a good reason. This week, I’ll be hitting a milestone workout and because next week is also a 3 workout week (with a weird schedule), I had to skip a workout last week so my milestone class was in a class I usually take. But just because I had only 3 workouts doesn’t mean I didn’t work hard.

Monday’s class was a strength class. It was also my first workout after I hurt my back/hip, and I was a bit worried about how I would do. I already know a lot of modifications for my hip issues, so I figured I would do those and then just see how my back felt while doing other things and modify them from there.

Usually, strength classes have a lot of incline work, but this time it wasn’t too much. We had 2 cardio blocks and each block only had 1 hill. The rest of the work was regular base, push, and all out paces. I used my all out incline to be my hill work, which worked out well for me. I was able to do some work on increasing my pedaling speed, even with added resistance, since I wasn’t as worried about what I would do for my hill work.

For the floor work, we had an interesting format with doing multiple rounds of low reps for a few exercises. The first block had chest presses, deadlifts, pike situps, and then a 250-meter row. The second block had hip hinge low rows, shoulder presses, and side planks. The chest presses and hip hinge low rows were both done as 3 rounds of 5 reps with 10 seconds of rest between each round. It was hard to do some of the floor work because of my pain, but I was able to get it done. Sometimes I had to take a little extra break time, but I always got back to it to finish out the exercise.

Wednesday’s workout was a workout to get us ready for the Everest Challenge. I will actually be missing that workout because of my schedule this week. I’m not sure if I’m sad about missing it because I like to challenge myself or a bit happy because it’s not my favorite challenge. But either way, I’m glad I had the Everest prep day so I got to do a mini-Everest workout.

For cardio, we had a modified version of what the challenge is like. We started with 6 minutes of increasing the incline/resistance level every minute. Then we had a walking recovery before going back to the incline/resistance level we ended at and working out way down the levels to get back to flat incline. I did start my bike resistance level lower than my normal base is to make sure I could keep increasing it every minute. And it did feel really tough when I got to the top, but it wasn’t the highest level I’ve worked at. Considering that I was still dealing with pain, I was impressed with what I was able to do.

For the rower, all of the rowing was 200 meters. We were supposed to do different types of squats with a medicine ball after each row. We started with regular squats and had rounds of 5, 10, and 15 reps. Then they were supposed to be squats to overhead presses (with the same rounds of reps). I modified that one to just be overhead presses because the squats were starting to hurt. And the last exercise between the rows was supposed to be jump squats with the medicine ball, but I just skipped doing those and rowed more.

And on the floor, we had 2 blocks. The first block had chest presses on the straps, high rows with weights, and plank work. And the second block had tricep extensions on the straps, low rows with weights, and side plank extensions. These exercises weren’t as hard on my back as the Monday exercises were, but they still were tough and I had to rest a lot more often than I’m used to.

Friday’s workout was also a strength day, but just like Monday, it didn’t have a lot of incline work for cardio. It was also the first day that I didn’t have to think too much about my back/hip hurting. I was still in pain, but the pain was finally closer to what I’m used to dealing with every day.

For cardio, we had 2 blocks that were similar. We had a long push pace, a base pace, another long push pace, a base pace, and an all out. In the first block, the long push paces were 2.5 and 2 minutes. And in the second block, the long push paces were 1.5 and 1 minute. And the second block had the all out at an incline, which was the only incline work that we had for all of the cardio work.

On the rower, it was supposed to be long rows plus jumping jacks. I can’t do jumping jacks when I feel great, let alone when I’m still in a little pain. So instead of doing them, I spent the entire block just rowing. I tried my best to only take breaks when it was supposed to be when I would have been doing jumping jacks, but I was tired. The first row was supposed to be 1000 meters, then 500 meters, and 250 meters. I wasn’t able to do 1000 meters without a break, but I had also worked hard during cardio which made me feel ok about taking those breaks.

And on the floor, we had 2 blocks as well. The first block had sumo squats while holding a weight, shoulder presses with weights, hip bridges, and bird dog planks. And the second block had deadlifts, bicep curls, and plank pull-throughs. The only real modification I made was with the bicep curls. I’ve learned that my form isn’t as strong when I’m doing both arms at the same time. So even if they aren’t single arm bicep curls, I do those instead since I know I can lift heavier and do the exercise with the best form. For all the work except the shoulder presses, I tried to go heavy with my weights. I wasn’t doing the heaviest weights I’ve ever done, but I was close.

It really was weird to not go to workout on Saturday. I’m so used to my routine and I had to think about not putting on my workout clothes as I got ready to log in for work. And I did miss not having my workout, but I know it’s for a good reason. This week will be a huge milestone and I’m so excited about it!

Figuring Out My Pain (or Staying Calm While Stressing Out)

I wrote about how I didn’t sleep much before I did the Dri-Tri and how much that affected my finish time. Not sleeping before the workout was a bad decision, but I was hoping it would just screw up my workout. I didn’t think about if it could cause any other issues. And while I don’t know if this story is really connected, I have a feeling that it is.

I know that as you get older, you deal with more random pain. I feel like I am pretty familiar with pain since I deal with it almost every day. But whenever I have new pain, I worry a lot about what happened. Especially when the pain happens to be with my back. Back pain concerns me a lot because I know that it can be connected to my hip issues. And when I was showering after the Dri-Tri, I had something happen in my back that was really concerning.

The pain started as I reached for a towel after my shower, but I know that it wasn’t due to that movement. I really do believe that it is connected to not sleeping and then doing a tough workout. I’m sure that because I was tired, I wasn’t using the best form and I probably was slouching while biking. Bad posture can cause a lot of back pain which is why I try to be very conscious of my posture, especially since I work at a computer for so many hours a day.

Once my back started hurting, it was excruciating. I was supposed to have fun that night at a party to celebrate my friends adopting their daughter. I made it to the party, said hi to my friends, and then had to leave because I was in so much pain just standing up. I hated that I couldn’t be there to celebrate with them, but I knew that I had to take care of myself and make sure I didn’t make whatever happened to my back worse.

I spent the next few days taking some painkillers, using heat and ice, and putting different topical treatments to help with the pain. And then my pain started to shift from my back to my hip. And then I started to panic.

I know that both my hips will need surgeries in the future, but I don’t want to do them anytime soon. Recovering from hip surgery wouldn’t be an easy process and I know that it can take a year or so before I could get back to where I am now. I don’t want anything that prevents me from working out, so I have been careful with my hips. But I also know that I can’t avoid all activities that are potentially bad for my hips so I do take some risks. But I was starting to think that the lack of sleep/crazy workout combination was the thing that finally did the damage to my hip that would require surgery.

Every day that went by, the pain was less in my back and more in my hip. I started to struggle with sleep because I wasn’t able to find a position that I could sleep in and wasn’t painful. I was trying to not panic too much about the pain because I know that not every hip-related pain is about my hip issues. People without the issues I have can get hip pain. It’s not easy to remember that when I’m in pain, but I tried. And it did help that the pain overall was getting better, even if it was more hip-related each day.

Right now, I’m still in pain. It’s a weird, dull pain that doesn’t feel like how I remembered my hip feeling before surgery (that pain was sharper and more like little shocks). I’m trying to remain optimistic that this pain really is just about lack of sleep and the Dri-Tri (or some other innocent reason) and not a sign that I need to have hip surgery. I’m hoping that because the pain has been getting a bit better every day, that even if I did do something to my hip, that it is just temporary. It’s hard to remember sometimes that I am allowed to have normal hip pain and not worry that it’s something serious. And this past week has really tested me in working on not panicking about that.