I was really looking forward to being able to say I had a good week of workouts. I knew that it should be one of my good weeks. My finger was finally healed to the point where I could finally start bending it. I was excited to do my workouts because I finally had some motivation and was really to work hard. And then I got cellulitis.
Monday was the day I went to urgent care, but I tried to work out that morning. It was a pretty pathetic workout attempt. I had to sit down for almost everything. I did a lot of core work and stuff with my arms. I had to modify all the exercises because the swelling in my leg was so bad that I couldn’t do a lot of things. And I broke down crying because the pain was so intense. I think that workout was the push for me to go to the hospital because I realized how bad things had gotten.
Wednesday was similar to Monday because the swelling hadn’t really gone down much. I had the same amount of pain, but I had a bit more flexibility in my leg and was able to do a few exercises standing up. But still, nothing like what I normally could do. And what was so frustrating was that my mind wanted to do more. But my body just couldn’t.
Friday and Saturday were better because my leg was almost normal. Still, I had to do a lot of modifications because there were things that caused me pain that normally wouldn’t. But it was nice to be able to do a bit more and to feel like I had some proof that my leg was getting better. I was worried that it wasn’t getting better because I was still dealing with so many issues, but my workouts did prove that I wasn’t struggling as much as I had earlier in the week.
Even though by the end of the week I was doing ok, it was still such a frustrating workout week. I am tired of having a bad week after a bad week. I really need a good week, and I don’t know if that will happen soon. This week, there is a chance my nausea will kick in. And my leg still isn’t totally better. So I might be struggling again. And the struggle physically combined with dealing with quarantine/isolation is really taking a toll on me. I know that there are some OTF studios starting to open up, but the ones here might not be open for a few months. It’s been over 2 months since my last in-studio workout. That’s such a long time. And even though before I was trying to stay positive and thinking how I just have to do the same amount of time again, the longer I’m away from my workouts the harder it is. But at the same time, if the studios in LA opened, I don’t know if I’d go right away. There are still so many things unknown about reopening and I want to see what happens before I take the risk.
Even though this past week of workouts was pretty bad, I do just keep reminding myself that I at least tried the workouts the best that I could. It’s better than doing nothing. And there were times when I was wondering if I should just skip it. I’m glad I did something because I probably would have felt worse if I didn’t do it. But I just want to have a good workout week again. I feel like I’m owed one by now.