We are almost 13 months into the pandemic. There are so many things that we have been different for over a year and just feel normal to us now. Wearing a mask is something I don’t love because it makes me feel a bit claustrophobic, but is a habit to me now. The few times I’ve been around others without a mask almost feel weird. Shopping for some basics before I run really low is another thing that I used to not do but is normal to me now. I don’t hoard things, but I also don’t let myself get to where I really need to get something within a day or two. For example, I used to not care if I ran out of contact lens solution because I’d just go to the store the next day. Now, when I see it’s getting low, I plan a trip to get that and other things within the next week. I’m not necessarily scared of not being able to get something, but I like to not feel like I really need it immediately.
But there are a few things I’ve gotten used to that I’m not as ok with. I have become a bit more of a germaphobe in the last year (just like so many others). I’m not fearful to the point of not leaving my house ever, but I do plan when I’m going to be out in public so I don’t have to do it as often and I can combine errands so I do a lot in one day and not one thing each day. I do miss having my errands more spread out since it’s a great way to feel like I’m done with one part of my day and moving on to the next (like what I want in my challenge this month). And maybe soon I will feel better about going out more often. I’m considered fully vaccinated this weekend, so that’s making me feel a little more protected even though I will still be doing a lot of the same precautions.
But I am taking a few more chances that before seemed like unnecessary risks. They are silly things that I’m doing, but it’s helping me ease back into what my life was like and not always feeling like I need to be as isolated as I’ve been. For example, it had been a while since I took my car to the mechanic. I wasn’t worried about it at all last year. I didn’t really drive that much the entire year. And I probably wouldn’t have worried about it just yet except that I got an alert on my car about my tire pressure. This is something I know I can do myself, but I’m also going to be going to Santa Barbara this weekend and I wanted to make sure my car didn’t have any other issues before I drove (I have too much history of car issues in my old car on longer drives). So earlier this week, I went to the mechanic after work.
My plan originally was to wait there for my car to be done since I could just wear a mask and read my book. But they thought it might take a bit longer so they offered to drive me home and they’d come to get me when it was done. While I have been in cars with friends and family over the past year, this was the first time I was in the car with someone I didn’t know. Not something I thought about too much before, but something I also wouldn’t have done even a month or two ago. Even though we were both wearing masks and had the windows open, it only felt ok to me since I’m almost considered fully vaccinated. I know I’m probably overcautious and paranoid, but that’s how my thinking went.
I want to feel ok doing things like going to stores for clothes and other errands instead of doing deliveries. I’ve only gone into a few stores in the past year (I can honestly only think of 1 CVS, 1 Vons, and 1 Trader Joe’s). I know it will take time for me to feel ok going to restaurants or movies again, but I still want to find things that push me out of the isolation bubble I’ve been in. Once I go back to Orangetheory (which hopefully will be soon), I think that will help me a lot. It’s going to be slow steps forward to getting back into being in the public again. A stark contrast when compared to how suddenly everything shut down.
I’m grateful that I’ve had the ability to stay home and isolated for the past year. I know not everyone could do that and many were not able to stay healthy. And I’m also lucky that I live in a state that seems to be having fewer cases and not seeing an increase (at least for now). And while I do still need to be careful and safe because things aren’t back to normal yet, I’m also making sure that I get out of the habit of being so isolated and start getting used to the possiblity of being out and about again.
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