Tag Archives: work

Having Another Lazy Weekend (or Trying Not To Feel Like I Missed Out)

Posted on October 30, 2019 | Comments Off on Having Another Lazy Weekend (or Trying Not To Feel Like I Missed Out)

I was really expecting to be able to go out and be social this past weekend. I had a party I was supposed to go to and I was excited to get out and see my friends. And through most of the week, I was feeling up for it and ready to go. But then it seemed like everything hit me on Saturday and I was exhausted.

I think a part of it was how crazy my work has been lately. It’s the busy season right now and it seems like the busy season is worse than ever. There have been times that I have 3 customers in online chats, 1 customer on the phone, and several other customers trying to call. Everyone working has been busy like this so it’s not that I’m picking up the slack from someone else. It’s exhausting having to multitask like that and the customers are bringing up some very complicated issues. There have been some calls where I’m working with a customer for over an hour because either they have a hard issue or keep adding new questions. When I’m done with work, I need to decompress. It’s not always like this, but lately, it’s been every day.

And Saturday was no different from the rest of the workweek. It was a crazy day and when I was done I just couldn’t think of doing much else. I did go to my workout since that helps me feel like the workday is over, but when I was home I didn’t want to have to leave my house. I tried to pull it together and go out, but I ended up falling asleep and not waking up until close to when I wanted to go to bed. I texted my friend who was hosting the party and hopefully she understands why I couldn’t make it.

Sunday was a lot of the same. I was tired even though I slept more than I had in a while. And my body was not feeling so great so I had to do a lot of stretching before getting out of bed. I had some errands that I had to do, so I went out to do those and then went back home to relax a bit more. I needed to recharge and I’m glad I didn’t push myself to go out. But at the same time, it’s a little sad that I wasn’t able to.

I try not to feel like I’m missing out too much when I choose to stay home. I know there will more parties and outings in my future and missing some won’t affect me being able to go to others in the future. But I was frustrated because I really thought I was finally over the exhaustion I had from the convention and was ready to go out again. But this exhaustion was caused by other issues and no matter how recovered I felt from the convention, I still would have been affected by my work.

Everyone I work with is hoping that things calm down after Halloween. We are still in the busy season through the end of the year, but Halloween is extra busy (just like New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day). Hopefully, we are back to the normal busy season next week and I won’t feel as overwhelmed and exhausted at the end of the workday. And if I am, then I really need to do some work on how to manage this better. I’m sure I need more sleep than I’m getting right now. But maybe I also need to add a few other stress management things into my life to help. I’m not sure. I just need to get through this week before I can focus on it since this week is hopefully the craziest and most exhausting week of the year.

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A Full Convention Weekend (or Preparation Pays Off)

Posted on October 15, 2019 | Comments Off on A Full Convention Weekend (or Preparation Pays Off)

This past weekend was the SAG-AFTRA National Convention. It was my 3rd time going to convention as a delegate and it was amazing! Because I had been to 2 previous conventions, I had an idea of what it would be like. But this still had some new things for me because it was the first time that I had a bit of a leadership role within my slate. I also feel like this time I was significantly more prepared for all the resolutions and was more informed about what we would be voting on and what would be coming up.

Convention started on Thursday with the welcome reception. I have always gone to the welcome reception because it’s a great time to get to meet the other delegates from different parts of the country. I wish I had taken a bunch of photos because it was a really nice event. This year, all of the convention was happening at the Beverly Hilton (which was nice because it was much closer to my house), so it was a little different from the past 2 conventions. I spent my time at the reception saying hi to my friends that I knew and the delegates that I had last seen 2 years ago. I also got to meet a lot of new delegates and hear about their stories. It’s always interesting to learn about acting careers in other parts of the country, and I got to hear lots of journeys from my fellow delegates.

I didn’t want to stay too late at the reception because I knew the next day would be an early morning and a long day, but I was having too much fun and ended up leaving much later than I planned. But it did give me a chance to see a lot of people and be social since I knew the next few days would be busy and not have a lot of free time.

Friday was the longest day for me. We started early with convention and I started working my day job from my seat. I’ve done this every convention and it’s something I feel grateful I can do. I don’t take customer calls when I’m working from there, but I can do the online chats. Fortunately, work wasn’t too busy so I could pay a lot of attention to what was happening on the stage, but I did have a few moments where I had to turn my focus to my work to make sure that I did my share of the work.

We did our elections for the Executive VP, Geographical VPs, and Category VPs. My slate had a candidate for each of those and it was very exciting when we learned that we won! Everyone who ran for a VP spot was someone that I have gotten to know quite a bit during election season and I knew they would do amazing work as a leader in the union. When almost everyone else was enjoying their lunch outside, I grabbed my food and ate back in the convention room because I was still working. But fortunately, some of my friends did join me inside to eat and it was another great time to be social.

The rest of Friday was working on voting for resolutions. We had a lot and we knew it would take all 3 days. We wrapped up around 5 and then I got ready for the Convention Gala. I’ll write more about the gala tomorrow, but I again had a late night and knew the next day would be an early one.

Saturday was more of the same for me. I did work my job while there, but it was only for the first few hours and then I could just be focused on the convention. We did more voting for resolutions before lunch and after lunch, there were different breakout sessions we could attend. But instead of going to a session, I went to the NextGen Performers meeting. I go to NGP events from time to time, but this meetup was with different NGP committees from around the country. We discussed some of the resolutions that people had coming up so we could brainstorm and give feedback. And we got to learn about the different NGP committees in different parts of the country and see what things we wanted to do for the LA committee. It was a great meetup and I got a lot out of it.

Saturday afternoon was more voting before we concluded for the day. I had been invited to a casual dinner with some of the different NGP people and originally planned on going. But I was tired and knew I needed to get some things done at home, so I had to change my plans and just go straight home. I wish I could have gone, but I really needed to try to get some sleep and I know I made the right choice.

The last day of convention started earlier than the others, but we needed that time to finish the work. We got through voting all the resolutions which was a big accomplishment. There were more resolutions this year than any other year and it’s not easy to get through all of them. We did move quickly, so I was glad I knew a bit about all of them ahead of time so I wasn’t that confused and conflicted about how I wanted to vote. We also got to hear speeches from the Executive VP, Secretary-Treasurer, and President. I have been lucky enough to get to know them each during the election season, but they still continue to inspire me when they speak.

When the convention was done, it was time to take official delegate photos. And then it was all over. It was a very intense long weekend, but just like the past 2 conventions, I left exhausted and encouraged. It was overwhelming, but I loved having all the information presented to the group. I am more motivated than ever to continue with my union service. I want to keep making SAG-AFTRA amazing for those of us who are members now as well as members that will be joining in the future.

I was a bit sad when I looked back at the photos I took and I realized that I didn’t take that many. Most of them were from after the convention was done and I was running around trying to get pictures with my friends. But I have so many memories from the past few days and I don’t need photos to remind me of those. But I am glad that at least I have a few with some of the amazing people that I am lucky enough to get to work with.

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Gearing Up For Another Temp Job (or At Least It’s More Work)

Posted on August 22, 2019 | Comments Off on Gearing Up For Another Temp Job (or At Least It’s More Work)

When my temp job ended with my old boss, she let me know that there may be another temp job coming up in a few months for me. It wouldn’t be the old contract that they used to offer me (I don’t think that contract is ever coming back), but it would be something similar. It would be creating content for the website like I used to do for them. But instead of creating content within the events section of the website like I did on my old contracts, this would be more writing work. My old boss wasn’t too sure when the work would start, but I knew that she would tell me as soon as she knew.

And it wasn’t that long after that last job ended that I got an email that it should be starting up pretty soon. Things were still being finalized, but she knew it would be in the next few months and that I should expect to get a contract soon and at least have an idea for how much the contract was for (my contracts are for a total funding amount and then we base the hours on that). I did get my contract and I was so happy to see that it was for more money than I was expecting! I really expected just a little money, but this is enough to help me get through the rest of this year (which is how long the contract should last for).

I had a meeting with my old boss and the woman who will be my direct supervisor for this new contract. I don’t have my exact start date, but they wanted to go over some of the basics with what myself and the other woman doing the same work will be doing. Fortunately for me, the work is actually very similar to writing this blog! The subjects will be very different, but the technical work will be familiar to me which will be helpful. And hopefully, I will have either a list of topics to write about or will have lots of inspiration (I’m not completely sure on how that part of the job will work just yet). With most of the jobs I’ve done with this company, the job is still a little abstract to me and will be like that until I can start playing around with the work systems. But they know that’s how I work and I should have a chance to start working with things soon. And since this work isn’t with a very strict deadline, I should have time to get comfortable and not feel rushed and risk making mistakes.

And even though this job isn’t permanent, I’m still so grateful for it. Any temporary work is good because it brings in money that I know I need. And I do hope that somehow there is a more permanent contract they can find for me. Even if it’s just another 1-year contract like I used to have. Knowing I have a job for a year would be a huge relief for me.

I’m still doing my job searching like I’ve been doing for a while, but it hasn’t been as intense as it could be. The election has been taking up a lot of my time and energy lately. After next week, that won’t be that way so I should have more time to job hunt and I am looking forward to that. I don’t like feeling like I’m slacking on doing something that I know I should be doing.

But I’m also slacking a bit because I have another job opportunity that could be something good. I don’t want to share too much just yet, but a friend of mine offered me an opportunity to help them with their business. It would let me work from home, but it is commission only. I know this sounds like an MLM or a pyramid scheme, but it’s not. It’s more sales type of work, but I’m being vague because I don’t want to share too much about a job that I haven’t started yet. We both have agreed that it would be something to try out because we don’t know how it would work out for both of us. But I told them I had to wait until after the election to try it out because again, I have no time just now.

I don’t want to say things are turning around for me just yet, but I’m cautiously optimistic. Being hopeful is a nice thing and I’m glad I can feel that way.

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Time Flies (or I Didn’t Realize I Would Be Here So Soon)

Posted on June 18, 2019 | Comments Off on Time Flies (or I Didn’t Realize I Would Be Here So Soon)

I’ve written about time moving quickly multiple times. I know that’s part of getting older. Someone once said that it happens because each year you get old a single year represents a smaller portion of your overall life. That makes so much sense to me even though it doesn’t help with making time go by slower. I try to be mindful every day so time doesn’t slip away, but it seems like that still doesn’t help all the time.

Sometimes it’s almost embarrassing when I realize how long it’s been since I’ve seen a friend or talked to them in person or on the phone. Texting and social media do help me stay in touch with people, but I know I need more than that to maintain my relationships. I recently texted a friend to say happy birthday and mentioned how we were very overdue for a catchup phone call. Then I realized that it might have been almost a year since we talked on the phone! We’ve texted and messaged in the past year, but I should be better about having more regular phone call routines.

Another place where time has just flown by has been with the temporary job I have been doing for my old boss. This has flown by in a few ways. First, I can’t believe that I’m in my last 2 weeks with the job. I have been working very hard since it started because there was so much work that I had to do. I think being that busy has made things fly by and I didn’t really focus on more than just getting the work done that day. I didn’t think about how it’s been a few weeks or a month. I knew that it was going to go quickly because it was a temporary job, but I guess I didn’t think it would feel this quickly.

And because the time flew by, I made a mistake that I said I wasn’t going to do again. I stopped focusing as hard as I should have on my job hunting. Fortunately, I am in a better spot than I was before because the money I made with the temporary job will hold me over for a little bit. But it won’t last forever. And I told myself I wouldn’t wait until the job ended to work on job hunting. But that’s exactly what happened. And now I’ve got only a few more days of work without a clear plan on what to do next.

I am grateful that I have a lot of job hunting sites that I was using before so I don’t have to worry about finding where to look for work. That doesn’t make finding a new job easier, but at least the prep time won’t be needed again. I just have to find the time to really focus on job hunting so I can find something soon.

But the other problem with time flying by with this job is going to affect my ability to job hunt. I knew how many hours my contract was when I started it. I obviously want to do every hour in my contract so I earn all the money I can. And I thought I had a good plan with how to split up the hours each week so that I would be able to finish them all. I know there were a few days where I couldn’t work due to how I was feeling, but I honestly thought I had made up for what I had missed. But when I looked at the hours I have to do for this final paycheck, it’s significantly more than I expected. I will be able to get them all done, but I need to work more hours than I have ever done for this job and I may also need to work on the weekend. It’s not what I expected to have to do, but it’s what I would do.

Because of all the hours I need to work, I know that I won’t be doing the job searching like I should be doing (and should have been doing this entire time). I guess I can’t be too upset since I haven’t really been doing what I said I’d do. So missing another week or so it’s going to ruin too much. But I am upset that I didn’t do it this entire time and now I know I’ll be worried about work again. I’m putting my feelers out again and I also hope that maybe there will be another temporary job I can do. I’m trying to stay optimistic that I won’t have a huge gap in work, but I also know I can’t depend on my optimism and that I have to put in the work.

With time going so quickly, I just have to hope that it won’t be a long time before I do find that new job. I don’t want months to fly by and I realize I’m out of money. I don’t have as much control in this situation as I would like, but I know that I have more control than what I have been doing so far.

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A Job Hunting Update (or Making Sure I Don’t Repeat My Financial Year Again)

Posted on March 29, 2019 | Comments Off on A Job Hunting Update (or Making Sure I Don’t Repeat My Financial Year Again)

Even though I haven’t been writing about looking for a job lately, I’ve still been doing that on almost a daily basis. My job hunt isn’t quite as intense as it was before because I do have the temporary job with my old work. And through that temporary job I will actually be making more money than I did all of last year with that job, so I should be ok for a while as long as I budget correctly (which is why budgeting again is so important for me).

I would love for there to be more temporary jobs for me to do with this old job throughout the year because it really is a great job for me. I can do it between my customers at my box office job (both bosses at both jobs are aware that I do this) and it’s easy enough for me to do. It does take a bit of time because of the work I have to do to confirm the data, but it’s not difficult. I feel very confident that I can do the work well and quickly and that always helps me feel better about work.

And of course, I love that this temporary job as well as my main job are remote. There are lots of benefits for me to work from home and I will admit that I have gotten spoiled by being able to do so. It allows me to work from another location if I’m out of town so I don’t have to miss as much work as I would when I leave LA to be with my family for Thanksgiving. I don’t have to worry about a commute or the cost of gas and wear and tear on my car. I don’t have to worry about planning for lunches because I’m home and can make whatever I have in my fridge. And of course, I can work when I’m not feeling well.

Working while sick isn’t always fun, but I’m grateful that I can do it. I don’t get sick that often, but when I do get sick it’s usually pretty bad. And I know that I shouldn’t be around other people. So working while sick is a benefit to me. But it’s not just when I’m sick with a cold or bug of some type, it’s also a benefit when I’m nauseous.

I honestly don’t know what I would do if I had to work at an office while nauseous. I’m sure that I would find some way to deal with it, but with how I feel now I just don’t want to think about it. I like having all my medications and remedies nearby when I need them. I don’t have to worry about using a public bathroom when I’m sick or that there isn’t an empty bathroom near me. And I don’t have to explain myself to anyone who sees me at my worst.

Just for the benefit of being able to work without worrying about others when nauseous makes me really focus my job searching on remote positions. I’m aware that finding a remote job is not as easy as finding a job working in an office. But it does feel like it is an important thing for me to find so that I don’t have to worry about what will happen when I’m not feeling my best.

And for right now, I can be a little bit picky. I am good for at least the next few months. Of course, making more money is better because I can put it toward things like paying off my credit card or building some savings. So while I’m being choosy, I’m still looking for a new job every day. It’s something I spend time doing each day, but I don’t stress about it the same way. I’m probably spending 10-15 minutes a day searching on various job hunting sites and applying for anything that seems right for me. I do still look at non-remote jobs, but I don’t apply to them as often as I do with remote jobs.

I’m hoping I find something before my temporary job ends so that I don’t have to stress about things. I’m trying to remind myself that even if I don’t find a new job by then, I should be ok as long as I am careful with my money. I don’t want to be in the same position as I was at the end of last year, and I know there are things I can do to make sure of that no matter my job situation. But it will take a lot of hard work and staying on top of things. And if I find a new job before I have to worry about it, then all this detail work will just benefit me with budgeting the new job.

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Feeling A Bit More Luck (or Hopefully This Was Just A Bad Phase)

Posted on January 24, 2019 | Comments Off on Feeling A Bit More Luck (or Hopefully This Was Just A Bad Phase)

I’m aware that several of my posts lately have been a negative lately. I hate when they are like that, but I also believe in being real and honest on here. When I’m going through a tough time, I don’t want to lie and pretend that everything is great. I know that people do that on social media by only showing the best parts of themselves and that can actually make other people worse. If you are only seeing amazing things from other people and you are struggling, you can feel alone. I know that feeling and I don’t want anyone to ever feel that way because of something I’ve posted.

A lot of my negativity has been around my job situation. It’s horrible when you feel like things are finally going your way and then the rug gets pulled out from you. And I’m aware that I was not setting myself up for this possibility and was not in a good financial place to lose about half of my income. I don’t know if anyone is really ready for that, but I do know that most people at least try to have  an emergency fund to tide them over. I didn’t have that since any extra money I have goes to my credit card.

While I have been offered a new temporary job, it hasn’t started just yet. Originally it was supposed to start at the beginning of the week, but it’s been a bit delayed. I’m trying to not think anything horrible like the contract has been canceled because I have seen my contract (it’s just not the version to sign, it only has the terms on it), but it’s hard not to slip back into that mindset. But I know that soon enough I will have everything ready so I can start that job and I will be making the money that I need to cover my bills.

I haven’t slowed down on my job hunting because I know that job is only for a few months, but it’s been tough finding legitimate jobs that are what they claim to be. There was one job to be a virtual assistant for a company that I was referred to by a friend. It seemed like the perfect job for me and my phone interview ended up being over an hour because the owner and I really connected and enjoyed talking to each other. When I didn’t get that job, I was a bit sad because it seemed so perfect for me. But I knew that it must not have been meant for me.

But I did hear back from the owner saying that she wanted me to reach out to her again to discuss things. She told me that she did hire someone else for that job who had a bit more experience with the specific things she needs, but she enjoyed talking to me as much as I enjoyed talking to her. And while she doesn’t have a job for me right now, she wants to hire me for something in the future. It may just be temporary jobs or a few hours here and there, but I would be so grateful for anything I could get!

Obviously, I would have been so happy to get the job I interviewed for and that would have been incredible. But to know that I impressed the owner enough in my interview that she wants to find a way to work with me really gave me a confidence boost that I needed. I was feeling so down after encountering so many scam job posts and it was hard not to feel hopeless. And when I didn’t get this job that feeling was coming back. But knowing that she does see a future where we could work together gave me that hope back and we have a plan to check in with each other soon when she thinks she may have work for me.

I know I can’t rely on temporary or unreliable jobs, but anything I can get right now helps. I still have to work on job hunting until I have another job that has some stability, but there is a chance that one of the temporary jobs will become that job. I want to leave myself open to that possibility but also to make sure that I don’t get myself into the same situation that I’m in right now again.

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Posted in Fun Stuff, Tough Stuff, Work

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Showing My Stress (or Hoping Things Will Get Better Now)

Posted on January 22, 2019 | 1 comment

There is no question that things have been stressful in my life lately. There are lots of different things that have causing me stress, but the biggest one has been my job hunt. Finding a job has been surprisingly difficult for me. I’ve applied for so many jobs and most of them have turned out to either be scams or misleading. Companies will post that their job is a remote position but then when you have an interview they tell you that it’s not and the pay rate is significantly lower than what they posted. I don’t know if they figure that since you went to the interview you would be ok with any changes or what. But it’s been very annoying to be spending time on interviews that are for jobs that aren’t what I believe them to be.

I’ve had several breakdowns while doing this job hunt. There have been days where I can’t stop thinking about my situation and will be calling different friends or family members crying hysterically. I’ve had to limit how much time I spend job hunting because when I didn’t limit myself I would feel so much worse about things. I’ve tried to keep thinking positively about things, but it’s not easy when it seems like you can’t make any progress or have even the smallest of victories or wins.

Stress is never really that good for anyone. I’m sure having minor stress in your life is good for something, but not having the type of stress I have been dealing with for the past few months. But I also have a few different auto immune diseases and I know that stress makes them so much worse. I was lucky that things hadn’t been that bad for me until recently, but it’s definitely hit me now and it’s showing on my body.

My auto immune diseases have different physical symptoms, but only one is really obvious when I’m out and about. I have alopecia which means I have patches of hair loss. This started when I was 14 when we discovered that behind both of my ears I lost a lot of hair. My parents took me to the doctor where I was diagnosed and we did some different treatments to make my hair come back. I’ve had patchy bald spots from time to time on my head and in my eyebrows, but it’s never been as bad as that first time. Most of time, it’s been weird little patches that are hidden by my hair. I sometimes see them and my friend who does my hair will see them. But when the bald spots aren’t on my hairline they aren’t as obvious.

But a few weeks ago, I started to notice my hair falling out more than normal. I would wash my hair and have handfuls of hair coming out. I didn’t find any bald spots so I assumed it was just all over hair loss (something else I have to deal with). But then I noticed a big patch on the back of my head where I lost my hair. I think I’m lucky because the way it fell out it looks more like that’s my natural hairline. But I can tell the difference and it’s very obvious to me. It is on my hairline on the back of my head, so there is a chance that it had been a bunch of smaller bald spots that just got worse recently. But all I know is that I only discovered the bald spot about a week ago.

There are some treatment options for me to try, but I’m not too sure if I want to do them. The best option that has worked for me is to get a bunch of shots in the bald spot. If it was worse looking, I probably would do it. I think I’m the only one who is really noticing it now and I don’t want to have to do all of the shots I know I’d need to do.

And the other reason I’m not going to do treatments now is that my stress has been lessened quite a bit. I still don’t have another job that I can count on, but I did get an email from my old boss last week. There is not a contract for my old job, but she was able to offer me a contract for a temporary job! I will be working for about 4 months and it will be more hours per week than I had on my old contract. It’s not enough in those 4 months to cover an entire year, but it will give me some time to breathe and figure out my next step. I will still be job hunting like I have been doing, but now I will be able to pay my bills.

I hate how much the stress has affected me, but I also know that how my body reacts isn’t always in my control. Auto immune diseases are complicated and I have had to learn how to roll with the punches with them. I’m just glad it wasn’t worse and that there’s a chance that it will start getting better now.

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Default ThumbnailOver A Month On Vyvanse (or A Meeting With My Therapist) Default ThumbnailTrying To Not Let My Stress Get To Me (or Continuing To Find Ways To Cope With Isolation) Default ThumbnailAt Least A Little More Work (or Getting My Contract Extended Again) Default ThumbnailDay One Of Unemployment (or Trying To Not Stress Out) Default ThumbnailDouble Shift Days (or Hoping To Make Enough Money By Payday) Default ThumbnailA Bit Over-Scheduled (or Starting To Stress Out)

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An Almost End Of The Year Review (or Looking Back At My Goals)

Posted on December 28, 2018 | 1 comment

I know there are still a few more days left in the year, but I wanted to get my end of the year recap done before the new year started. I feel like it’s a nice transition to have a clean break from year to year and I didn’t necessarily want to spend the beginning of the new year going through the past. So I figured with a few days left I would have a good idea on where I would stand with my goals by the end of the year.

My first goal I had this year was to do 199 Orangetheory workouts. That one I accomplished and I’ll finish out the year with a few more! I should be at 206 workouts by the last day of the year unless something happens that prevents me from going to one of my planned workouts. But even if I didn’t go for those classes, I will still be ahead of the goal! I did 4 workouts a week almost every week which made it easy to make it to over 199. I thought I’d have more 3 workout weeks over the year but I didn’t have that many. I tried to look back at my schedule and I don’t think I had any 5 workout weeks (I could be wrong) which is what I thought I’d need to do a few times to make sure I made it to my goal. I’m so glad that this goal ended up being relatively easy to accomplish since it seemed like one that would be tough for me.

And I’m lucky that first goal was easy for me to accomplish because it ended up being the only goal I really did accomplish that I had set for myself. I don’t want to make excuses for myself, but for some of these goals I didn’t meet there is a reason. But I still need to hold myself accountable for why I didn’t do what I was hoping to do.

The next 2 goals I had are somewhat related. I wanted to find a 5K race to do and I wanted to get a new PR on my mile time. Neither of those happened and if I’m being totally honest I really don’t care too much that they didn’t happen. Doing 5K races was a big part of my life for a long time, but that was also a while ago. I didn’t have Orangetheory when I did a bunch of races every year and I think having a regular workout has made me not feel as motivated to find races. I had a few races that I kept doing, but once they stopped having races each year I didn’t try to find a replacement. And with wanting to get a new mile PR time, I really thought I’d be able to do much more running this year than I have been able to do. This is due to multiple factors like getting sick, my hormonal nausea, and other things that have prevented me from using the treadmill as much as I wanted to do. Getting a new mile PR used to be so important to me and a sign of my progress, but I’ve had to learn new ways to measure my progress and the mile time has lost some of the importance it used to have.

The next goal I failed on is one that I feel like I have the most excuses for. I had a number in my head that I wanted to get my debt below. I was making real progress toward this for the first part of the year and I was so excited about it. But then I didn’t have as many hours with one of my jobs as I thought I would have and then that job wasn’t able to offer me a new contract like we expected. Being down one job meant that I didn’t have the money to put toward paying my credit card that I used to and I had to start using my credit card for more things than I would have liked to. Losing a job and using my credit card to pay for regular expenses is how I got into debt. I’m trying to stop this before it gets as bad as it did before (and I’ll have more on that in my 2019 goals), but it did increase how much I owed on the card. It’s unfortunate, but it’s my reality. I wasn’t expecting to lose a job and I don’t make enough money right now to really have savings to cover a job loss. I know this is bad and I want to fix this, but for now I have to just focus on finding a new job so I can get back to paying down my debt.

And my last goal I had for 2018 was to keep doing what I’ve been doing with my eating disorder recovery. While I wouldn’t say I necessarily failed at accomplishing this, but it didn’t go the way I planned it would. I did keep doing what I was doing and I’ve found new things that do work for me and I’ve dropped things that I found weren’t working for me anymore. I had the hope that I would feel like I made more progress by this point, but I also know that recovery is a weird journey and it’s not always easy to judge progress.

Even though I really only accomplished one of my goals I set for the year, I don’t see that necessarily as a bad thing. Instead, I feel like I had a minor failure to plan with my goals which is a newer issue for me. I think I need to allow myself to alter and change my goals throughout the year. If I had that as the plan, I would have switched out my running related goals before the year was half over to something else that was fitness related. Maybe I would have had a goal to be able to use a certain weight for an exercise or I would have changed it to a goal on the rower or bike. But I felt like my goals were set for the year and I didn’t want to alter them. That is something I will be changing as well as adding to my monthly challenge planning reminder to look back at my goals for the year to see what steps I need to make and if there are any changes that should happen.

It’s so funny to think about how happy I am to have goals I failed at because it has given me a lot of insight into myself and how I can make the next year even better. And I’ve got some interesting goals in mind for 2019 that I’ll be sharing next week that have been inspired by me not reaching my goals. Sometimes you need a setback to help you think clearly and I think that’s exactly what I had this year.

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Asking For Help Again (or Trying Not To Feel Desperate)

Posted on December 19, 2018 | 2 comments

Job hunting has been a part of my life for a long time. Even when I had regular jobs, I’m always looking for other things I can do because it never hurts to make more money. I figure the more money I make, the quicker I can pay off my credit card. This has been my game plan for a long time because I want to have no debt in my life, but it just hasn’t been my reality yet. For a while, I was doing pretty well at making dents into what I owe, even if I wasn’t going at the pace I wanted to. But it was amazing to see the total owed go down and I felt hopeful that I would reach my goal eventually.

But lately, that’s not what has been happening. I’m down to one day job right now, and that job doesn’t pay enough for me to live off of it. It basically pays enough to cover my rent and maybe one of my cheapest utility bills. I’ve been looking for a new job for a while and looking for a job is almost like a full time job for me. When I started job hunting, I mainly focused on remote positions that I could do around my current job schedule. That worked out really well with my last job and it would be amazing to find something like that again. Then I started looking at remote jobs that would be replacing my current job. Even though I enjoy my current job and it’s easy, I can’t keep it if there is something else out there for me that can pay me enough. And now I’m just applying for anything and everything I’m right for.

On average, I’m guessing I’m applying for 50-60 jobs a day. It’s a lot and it’s a bit ridiculous, but I have to do whatever it takes to find another job. I hate feeling so hopeless and stressed, but I honestly don’t know what else to do. I know I am very lucky and privileged that if it comes down to it, my parents can help me out a bit. But I don’t want to ask for their help. They already do so much for me and it’s so embarrassing that I can’t be an adult and take care of my financial stuff myself. I hate feeling dependent on someone else and even though I’m grateful to have them there if I need it, I don’t want to have to ask. I’ve already spoken to my parents about my current situation and they know what’s going on, but I’ve also said over and over that I don’t want to have to ask for help from them. I am just trying to stay hopeful that something will come my way.

And like with the other job hunting type posts I’ve written on here, I’m asking you all for help. If any of you know of any jobs, can you please comment on here, use the contact form to reach me, or message me on social media? I’d love a remote job and that would allow me to work for companies anywhere in the world, but if they are non-remote jobs I’m looking for something in LA (preferably on the westside of LA but I can’t afford to be picky right now). I have found jobs through my friends so many times and I have a feeling that my next job will be through a referral again since that seems to be the most common way people are finding work these days.

And I’m looking at lots of random side jobs that I could do. I’ve gotten my availability back up for babysitting again on the apps I’m registered with since that can be really good money. I’ve looked into doing dog walking which is something I did years ago (I stopped because the company I worked for was being weird about paying their employees). I’ve looked into working for the scooter companies for charging scooters. And I’m signing up with different temp agencies because I know that maybe I’ll find something good that way.

I’m really doing whatever I can right now and it’s just hard when things aren’t happening for me. I have gotten some rejections from applications I’ve been doing online and at least that proves that someone is seeing what I’m sending out. And I have gotten some responses back regarding some of the jobs, but when I looked into them they appear to be more of a scam than a job (like having to pay to work for them or the point of the job is to get friends to sign up). As much as I want to believe I will find something soon, I know right now is a weird time to get a job with the holidays. I won’t stop applying for things because of that, but I’ve also had to be realistic and realize that I might not be able to find something until the new year.

All I can do is keep applying for everything I can, keep asking if anyone knows of any jobs, and hope for the best. I know eventually I will find something, but I really thought that eventually would have happened by now.

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Job Hunting (or You Never Know Unless You Ask)

Posted on October 19, 2018 | Comments Off on Job Hunting (or You Never Know Unless You Ask)

I’ve written about my job situation on here a few times. It’s been up and down over the years, but I have been lucky that for the past few years things have been relatively steady. I’ve had 2 main day jobs and even though one of them varied in the number of hours it was still something. But since one of my day jobs is a government contract job, it’s always been a bit of an unknown what each year would be like for me.

My contracts for that job are renewed each September and it was looking like this contract was actually going to be a much bigger contract than what we thought. I was so excited about that because money is always tight for me and I can use more money to pay off more debt. But then things changed and there was no new contract for me this September. This is not due to my work performance or even what my job wants. It literally is a government contract that is decided way above all of our heads. My boss felt horrible that there wasn’t a new contract right away, but she was hopeful there would be a new one soon.

I thought maybe there would be a month or two delay before the new contract was ready to go. And it’s still possible that I’ll be signing my new contract soon, but there’s no date estimate yet. It could still be a few more months or it could be tomorrow. But right now there is no way to know when it will happen until it happens.

I do expect that I will be working for that job again soon, but at the same time I need to figure out something else to help supplement my income right now. Even though I didn’t make a ton of money at the job during the past contract, it was money that paid my bills and I need it. I did just get a small raise at my other day job, but that only covers about 25% of what I was making at the contract job. So while I have been a bit lazy about job hunting (because I was hoping that I would be on a new contract soon), I can’t do that anymore. I need to find something that I can do that will cover what I’m not making right now.

I’ve had a lot of luck with finding jobs through people I know or people I previously worked for. My current box office job is through a friend who worked for the company. My contract job is through an old boss of mine. And my will call job (which is usually one day every other month or so) is also through an old boss of mine. Even the random temporary jobs I have had in the past few years have been from friends knowing I’m looking for work and knew of a job that fit what I can do.

So I’m putting it out here again. I need another part-time job. Ideally it would be a remote position so I could work from home like I already do and that I could do it between my customers at my box office job. I have a lot of downtime and would prefer to use it productively instead of watching lots of random things online or searching different Internet forums. I know that I’m asking for something very specific, but I know what type of work would work best in my current situation. And hopefully there would be something that fits that and is looking to hire.

It would be amazing if someone reading this knows of a job that I could apply for. I am always so grateful for people who are willing and able to help me out or consider me for jobs they know about. It’s not easy finding a job, especially a job that is flexible enough for me to continue pursing acting. It’s a hustle to make it doing what I love, but it’s so worth it to me. I know that one day my hard work will pay off and I look forward to that day. But for now, I need to find another day job to help support me in pursing my dreams. And hopefully putting this out there will help me find that job and will be the next amazing story of all the day jobs I’ve had.

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